- 15 minutes ago
Tuna First, Justice Second The Orange Cat Detective - Full - New
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Short filmTranscript
00:10Three more days, if I can't come up with the rent, they'll kick all the cats out onto the street.
00:25Oh my god, no!
00:47Breaking news. Mayor Harrison was reported missing last night.
00:51Police say there were signs of a struggle and while we're new are dissolvers.
00:55Hey! Nurse! Where's my Norwegian deep-sea tuna with goat milk?
01:00If you don't serve it right now, I'm filing a complaint for taxpayer abuse.
01:06Bullshit! All the news is bullshit.
01:09There was no struggle. The old man was chlorophyll from behind by someone he knew while he was reading.
01:15And that antique clock? They deliberately slowed it down by 15 minutes to create an alibi.
01:27Hey! Don't pass out on me! I haven't even ordered breakfast yet!
01:38I'm not dreaming. I can actually hear a cat talking?
01:43Took you long enough. Now stop pinching yourself and listen up.
01:47My name is Murphy, and I'm the only witness to the mayor's kidnapping.
01:51The kidnapper smelled like cheap sandalwood mixed with industrial motor oil.
01:56Wait, how do you know all this? And why can I hear you?
01:59Who cares about the why? What matters is that the police are idiots and we need to stop the bad
02:03guys before it's too late.
02:05Now take me to the police station and make it snappy.
02:08Detective Luke! The news is wrong. The mayor was kidnapped at 10.45pm, not 11.
02:14The kidnapper is someone he knows, and he smells like motor oil.
02:18Very precise time and scent profile.
02:21Who's your informant? Where is he?
02:30What are you looking at, pretty boy?
02:32Stare any longer, and I'll scratch that perfect face of yours.
02:38Security, there's a delusional woman in my office.
02:41And send the narcotics unit with a test kit. I think she's on something.
02:45Oh! Look at me! Ow!
02:51Stupid cops! You deserve to never solve a case in your life!
03:00This is a terrible idea. If we get caught, I'll go to jail for breaking and entering.
03:05Relax. The police already think you're crazy.
03:08What's the worst that can happen? They lock you up with the other lunatics?
03:12Now crawl into that vent. And try not to get stuck. Your hips are wider than they look.
03:19Wow. You move like a pregnant Walfris. Hurry up before the security guards do their rounds.
03:27Okay, here's what happened. The bastard was standing right here, pretending to hand over a file.
03:33When the old man turned around, he covered his mouth with a chloroform-soaked towel.
03:38The mayor struggled and scratched the guy's cuff.
03:45I found it! A cufflink! And there's blood on it!
03:51Great. Now check for fingerprints next to it. That should be our smoking gun.
04:06Shit. Someone's coming back to destroy the evidence. Hide!
04:23Stop squeezing me so tight. I can't breathe. And your hands are shaking like a leaf.
04:34Who's in there? Show yourself!
04:47This isn't a coincidence. Who is she really?
04:50You think this is funny? Royal Karen costs $20 a can.
04:54We just paid a fine for trespassing last night. Now we can only afford expired cat food.
04:58Expired cat food? Are you kidding me? I saved your life last night.
05:02I deserve the best tuna money can buy. You're the worst human partner ever.
05:07I must be losing my mind.
05:12There's no way a cat is helping her solve crimes.
05:18My dear fellow citizens, we are all devastated by the disappearance of our beloved Mayor Harrison.
05:23He was a great man, a visionary, and I promise you I will do everything in my power to find
05:28him and bring him home safely.
05:29To honor his legacy and revitalize our town's economy, I am announcing that we will move forward with the chemical
05:35plant project.
05:35Mayor Harrison had previously opposed. This will bring thousands of jobs and millions in revenue to our community.
05:46Oh my God! Look at his left wrist! The Rolex! The Z scratch on the band! It matches the cufflink
05:54exactly!
05:55That's the guy who let the kidnappers in with his spare key!
05:59This isn't just a kidnapping. It's a coup!
06:04He wants the mayor gone so he can sign that chemical plant permit. The kickbacks must be in the millions.
06:17We're in deep shit now, kid. This guy owns the police. He owns the whole town.
06:25He's in deep shit now, kid!
06:25He owns the whole town!
06:26He owns the whole town!
06:37He owns the whole town!
06:38So, you want information about the van that was behind the town hall that night.
06:43The rules are simple.
06:4510 cans of top grade Norwegian tuna.
06:48And you have to get rid of the stray dog gang that's been terrorizing the hot dog stand on East
06:53Street!
06:53Ten cans? That's almost all the money I have, and I can't fight a gang of dogs?
06:58Quit whining. Do you want to find the mayor or not?
07:01Now go get the tuna, and don't come back empty-handed.
07:09What the hell are you doing in my trash?
07:12Get out of here, you filthy beggar!
07:19Oh no! Run, Murphy, run!
07:24Meow!
07:37Remind me never to let you do the sneaking around again. You're terrible at it.
07:47It was a black Ford van.
07:49The right rear tire was badly worn. It was a rain tire. License plate ends with XT-908.
07:55It headed towards the South Junkyard at 1 a.m.
07:59Detective Luke, the van used in the mayor's kidnapping is a black Ford. License plate XT-908.
08:05Check the South Junkyard, and be careful. There's a mole in the police department.
08:16Son of a bitch.
08:19The whole department is compromised.
08:22The whole department is compromised.
08:31Listen, crazy lady. I don't know who you are, and I don't know how you know what you know.
08:36But you're right. There's a mole.
08:38Meet me at the old docks at 8 p.m. tonight.
08:41Bring your...cat informant. We need to talk.
08:44I'll be there.
08:46But if this is a trap, my cat will scratch your eyes out.
09:07You actually brought the cat.
09:10Nice to finally meet you, pretty boy. Too bad you're such a terrible detective.
09:17Let's cut to the chase.
09:19The van is at the South Junkyard, but we can't call for backup.
09:23I don't know who I can trust anymore.
09:26Then it's just the three of us.
09:35This is the mayor's tie clip. He was definitely here.
09:39Wait, it's thicker than it should do. There's something inside.
09:46The mayor must have hidden this as evidence.
09:48He knew someone was after him.
09:57Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.
10:02Hand over the SD card, and maybe we'll make your deaths quick.
10:08Hold on tight, kids.
10:10It's about to get furry.
10:12Meow!
10:17Meow!
10:21Meow!
10:22Meow!
10:23Meow!
10:25Meow!
10:26Meow!
10:28Meow!
10:31Meow!
10:33Holy shit!
10:34That cat just disarmed a man!
10:44I officially take back everything I said.
10:46You're not a witch.
10:47You're a general with a biological army of cats.
10:52Told you I was the brains of this operation.
10:55Now pull over at that motel.
10:57We need to interrogate our guest.
11:02Talk.
11:03Where is the mayor?
11:04Who do you work for?
11:11You know what?
11:12I don't have time for this.
11:14If you don't tell us everything right now,
11:15I'm going to climb into your pants and pee on your balls.
11:18And trust me, I've been holding it in for three hours.
11:21Okay, okay, I'll talk!
11:23The mayor is still alive!
11:24They handed him over to Eagle!
11:25That's all I know!
11:26I swear!
11:26Eagle?
11:27Who or what is Eagle?
11:30Ugh.
11:31Freeze-dried?
11:32Do I look like a stray?
11:33But fine.
11:35I'll eat it.
11:35I haven't had a decent snack since that idiot husband of Selena's disappeared.
11:40Chanel, we need your help.
11:42Do you know anything about what happened the night the mayor went missing?
11:45Oh, please.
11:46Selena didn't care that he was missing.
11:48She was in the guest room with her personal trainer that night.
11:50They were talking about forging a death certificate so she could collect the huge life insurance policy.
11:55She's been cheating on him for years.
12:01Having a nice dinner, Selena?
12:03Too bad your alibi is a lie.
12:05You weren't home alone the night the mayor disappeared.
12:09You were right here.
12:10With him.
12:11What are you talking about?
12:12That's ridiculous!
12:13I was in bed by 9pm!
12:15Cut the crap!
12:17We have witnesses!
12:18You were planning to forge his death certificate and steal the insurance money.
12:23Now give us the combination to the mayor's study safe, or I'll tell the police everything.
12:38Good work.
12:39Now let's go check that safe.
12:57Three of my best men are dead.
12:59This isn't rat poison.
13:02It's something much stronger.
13:09It's sodium cyanide.
13:11High concentration.
13:12This is exactly the raw material Victor's chemical plant will be using.
13:17He's using the town's cats as test subjects.
13:25I'm going to make him pay.
13:28As you can see, this plant is completely safe.
13:33There will be no toxic emissions.
13:36No harm to the environment or the people of this town.
13:44Safe?
13:45You call this safe?
13:50This is the completely safe raw material you're talking about!
13:55You poisoned these cats to silence them.
13:57You're a monster.
13:58Your hands are covered in blood.
14:04Security!
14:05Remove this insane woman!
14:07She's clearly disturbed and dangerous.
14:18I'm never doing this again.
14:20I think I lost three pounds.
14:22And my fur is covered in dust.
14:25I need a bath.
14:32Bingo.
14:33That's the safe code.
14:52That girl at the hearing embarrassed me.
14:55She's becoming a problem.
14:56What do you want me to do, boss?
14:59Tomorrow afternoon, arrange a car accident on the coastal highway.
15:03Run her car off the cliff.
15:05Make it look like an accident.
15:07And make sure she doesn't survive.
15:10Consider it done.
15:21Oh, shit.
15:22We need to warn Emily.
15:24Now.
15:28Bad news.
15:29Victor is going to kill you tomorrow.
15:31Car accident on the coastal highway way.
15:33And the police chief is on his payroll.
15:35We can't trust anyone.
15:37We can't go to the police.
15:39They'll just tip Victor off.
15:40We're on our own.
15:45He's inviting me to his house for dinner.
15:47Tonight.
15:48Are you crazy?
15:49This is a trap.
15:51He's going to kill you as soon as you walk through that door.
15:53I'm not letting you go.
15:57This is our only chance to find out where the mayor is.
15:59He's holding him somewhere in that house.
16:01I have to go.
16:03Luke, I need you to wait outside.
16:04If I don't come out in an hour, call the FBI.
16:07Send them everything we have.
16:11We need eyes and ears inside.
16:13This is the only way.
16:18I can handle this.
16:21Please.
16:22These amateurs couldn't find a flea on a dog.
16:42Miss Emily, I must say I admire your courage.
16:45Most people would have run away after what happened at the hearing.
16:49Let's be reasonable.
16:51You're a smart girl.
16:53This check can be for any amount you want enough to buy you a new life anywhere in the world.
16:57All you have to do is forget about the mayor and the chemical plant.
17:00Deal?
17:01Any amount?
17:02Hmm.
17:03I think I want a million dollars and a lifetime supply of tuna for my cat.
17:07Done.
17:08As long as you keep your mouth shut.
17:15Let's see.
17:16B-A-S-E-M-E-T-O-L-O-D-M-A-N-M-O-V-T-M-I
17:20-D-N-H-Y.
17:21Basement.
17:21Old man.
17:22Move, Midnight.
17:23They're moving the mayor to the basement at midnight!
17:30Oh no!
17:31I'm so clumsy.
17:32I need to go to the bathroom to clean this up.
17:34I see.
18:03I will create a room.
18:05Mayor Harrison? Is that you? We're here to rescue you!
18:17Bravo, Miss Emily. You're much more resourceful than I gave you credit for.
18:21Let him go, Victor. It's over.
18:24We have all the evidence. The FBI is on their way.
18:28The FBI? Please. By the time they get here, you and the mayor will be at the bottom of the
18:32ocean.
18:32You really thought I would let you leave this house alive.
18:40Any last words, Miss Emily?
18:44Yes. You should have checked your study safe.
18:47The real ledger is already on its way to the Governor's desk.
18:50If I die, it gets published tomorrow morning.
19:02BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
19:04TRIP BEEP BEEP BEEP
19:18Aaaaaahhhhhh!
19:24Thanks, Murphy.
19:44Shoot them! Shoot them!
19:47Don't let them escape! Kill them all!
19:55We need to get out of here! Now!
20:11Detective Luke, you're under arrest for conspiracy to kidnap and obstruction of justice.
20:19Hand over your weapon and badge.
20:21What? This is a mistake! Victor is the real kidnapper! We have evidence!
20:25Save it. We have an audio recording of Miss Emily demanding a $5 million ransom for the mayor.
20:30And we have witnesses who saw you two breaking into Victor's house last night.
20:34Mayor Harrison is in my hands.
20:37Prepare $5 million in cash, or I'll kill him.
20:40That's not me! It's AI generated! Victor forged it!
20:45Tell it to the judge. Take them away.
20:52Game over, little volunteer. Your detective boyfriend is suspended and under investigation.
20:58Tonight, I'm going to watch the mayor sink into the cold sea.
21:02And you? You're going to spend the rest of your life in a maximum security prison with the worst criminals
21:08in the state.
21:22I think I lost a layer of skin. And I smell like sewage.
21:26You owe me a lifetime supply of luxury cat baths, Emily.
21:30And king crab legs. Lots of king crab legs.
21:33Murphy! You came for me! How did you get in here?
21:36I have my ways.
21:39Now listen carefully.
21:40Scar and the boys are going to create a distraction in five minutes.
21:43They're going to set off all the car alarms in the parking lot and cut the backup generator.
21:47When the guards run out, I'll get you the keys.
21:49Then we escape through the maintenance tunnel.
22:00What the hell is going on now?
22:03The backup generator is dead! Go check the parking lot!
22:13Hurry! We don't have much time!
22:22Get in! We have to get out of town before they put out an APB!
22:33We have new intel. Victor is meeting with the foreign mafia at the old east side shipping dock at midnight.
22:38They're going to trade drugs and money. The mayor is in a blue heavy duty container.
22:42They're going to load him onto a ship called Eagle and sail him out to international waters to dispose of
22:47him.
22:47Eagle. So it's not a person. It's a ship.
22:51That makes sense. He can't kill the mayor in town. Too many loose ends.
22:54Sending him out to sea is the perfect way to make him disappear forever.
23:05Tonight, there are no suspended cops and no wanted fugitives.
23:09There are only people who are going to take back what's theirs.
23:12We're going to rescue the mayor, take down Victor, and end this once and for all.
23:16All right, listen up, fur balls. Tonight, fight! We fight! For tuna! For catnip! For justice!
23:24And if anyone tries to stop us, scratch their eyes out!
23:45The container is ready. As soon as it's loaded, we'll transfer the money to your offshore account.
23:51Good. And make sure there are no witnesses. I don't want any loose ends.
24:06No! No! The old man is in that blue box! He has severe thasrophobia! The water pressure will give him
24:12a heart attack! We have to stop it!
24:28Emily! Wait! It's too dangerous!
24:32Emily! Wait! It's too dangerous!
24:37Emily! Wait! It's too dangerous!
25:01Stop the crane!
25:02Now!
25:10What the hell is she doing up there?
25:14Kill her! Kill her now!
25:29If I'm going down, you're going down with me.
25:34No!
25:35No!
25:37Meow!
25:42For the tuna!
25:51Meow!
25:58Murphy!
26:04Me!
26:17Mayor Harrison, we're here. You're safe now.
26:23Luke.
26:24Emily.
26:26I knew you'd come.
26:29Meow!
26:35You old fool!
26:39If you had died, who would buy me the good tuna?
26:43I had to save your sorry ass.
26:48How touching.
26:50A hero's welcome.
26:53Too bad it's going to be your last.
26:55You're trapped. There's nowhere to run.
27:11I'll kill all of you, dump your bodies in the sea, and tell the world you were the ones who
27:18kidnapped the mayor.
27:20I'll be hailed as a hero! The chemical plant will be built, and I'll be the richest man in the
27:26state!
27:30Any last words before I blow your heads off?
27:37Yes.
27:38You forgot one thing.
27:41You messed with the wrong cats.
27:54What is that? A dog whistle? Are you trying to call a dog to save you? How pathetic!
28:15By the way!
28:16Meow!
28:40Get them off me! Get them off!
28:43I surrender! I surrender!
28:45Please make the cats stop!
28:52This is impossible!
28:54This is a nightmare!
28:56They're just cats! Just cats!
28:58Told you we had an army.
29:00Now let's go get that son of a bitch.
29:20He's getting away! Don't let him escape!
29:42Die, you stupid cop!
29:54No!
29:56Hey, asshole!
30:10No!
30:12Help!
30:15Ugh!
30:16Tastes like cheap cologne and corruption.
30:22Remind me to brush my teeth for a week.
30:26Remind me never to make you angry.
30:51Everyone freeze! FBI! You are all under arrest!
30:59This isn't over! I'll get out! I'll kill you all!
31:04Save it for the judge. You're going to Supermax.
31:08You'll never see the light of day again.
31:09No! Let me go!
31:12No! Let me go!
31:26No!
31:28No!
31:29No!
31:29No!
31:29No!
31:30No!
31:31Go! Go! Go! Go!
32:02I hereby sign Executive Order 1.
32:04The chemical plant project is permanently cancelled.
32:07All heavy industry contracts are terminated.
32:10A special task group will be formed to investigate all of Victor's associates.
32:14Anyone involved in corruption will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
32:18Star.
32:25This is acceptable, but I want a raise.
32:28More tuna and a private jet.
32:36I can't believe it.
32:38People actually care now.
32:40Of course they do.
32:42We saved their town.
32:44Now they owe us.
32:45And I intend to collect.
33:08More caviar! And bring me another plate of tuna!
33:11And make sure it's the good stuff! I'm a hero!
33:13To honor Ms. Emily's bravery and her dedication to our town's animals, the town council has voted to allocate the
33:18most beautiful land in the south of town to build the state's largest and most advanced stray animal sanctuary.
33:23And we are appointing Ms. Emily as its executive director.
33:34Hey.
33:35You look beautiful tonight.
33:38Thanks.
33:39You don't look so bad yourself.
33:42I...
33:47I made this for you.
33:49I know it's not much, but I was wondering if you would let me be your partner.
33:54Not just for cases, but for everything.
33:56If the sanctuary needs a security guard, or if you need someone to help you solve mysteries,
34:01I want to be that person.
34:04So, what do you say?
34:06Okay, but probation period is three months.
34:09And your salary is paid in cat treats.
34:15That bitch!
34:17That damn, damn cat!
34:19I'll get out of here!
34:20I'll kill them all!
34:21I swear it!
34:24Take this letter to my contact in the city.
34:26Tell them to kill Emily and that fat cat.
34:30I'll pay them a million dollars when it's done.
34:34You got it, boss.
34:36I'll make sure it gets there.
34:41Hey, come back here, you stupid cat!
34:52Cats!
34:53Cats everywhere!
34:55They're watching me!
34:56They're all watching me!
35:06Don't get too comfortable, kid.
35:08The old man is safe, Victor is in jail, but this town is full of secrets and scumbags.
35:14Our work is just beginning.
35:31We got a new case.
35:33Good morning, Detective Emily.
35:34I have a case for you.
35:35A very high-paying one.
35:36Oh?
35:37What is it?
35:37The billionaire banker from the east side.
35:39His pet Amazon parrot went missing last night.
35:41But this isn't just any parrot.
35:43It can recite hundreds of digits.
35:45And according to his lawyer, it has memorized all of his offshore bank account password.
35:51How much is he paying?
35:52He said he'll pay whatever we want.
35:53Money is no object.
35:54Tell him we don't take checks.
35:56Our fee is three tons of the highest grade a lack in salmon.
36:01Fresh.
36:01Frozen is not acceptable.
36:04Did someone say salmon?
36:06Three tons?
36:09All right, fur balls.
36:11Let's move out.
36:12We got a parrot to find.
36:15And salmon to earn.
36:17For the salmon!
36:20For the salmon!
36:21Meow!
36:22Meow!
36:23Meow!
36:25Meow!
36:27Meow!
36:28Meow!
36:30Meow!
36:31Meow!
36:32Meow!
36:33Meow!
36:33Meow!
36:34Meow!
36:34Meow!
36:35Meow!
36:37Meow!
36:37Meow!
36:38Meow!
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