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00:00.
00:36This is your captain speaking. Keep your eyes on the board. We're about to go super sonic.
01:00Oh! Oh! Oh!
01:17Did we break the sound barrier?
01:20Sorry, Mr. Camper Black. I didn't know it was you in there.
01:30You see the signs, but you can't read. Running at a different speed. Your heart beats.
01:41Double time, another kiss.
01:47Enjoying your flight, Rupert?
01:49Tony Battingham.
01:51Do you know B.T. Johnson from The Scorpion?
01:54Oh, no. But I hear great things.
01:56Did the Prime Minister give you permission to fuck a journalist in the onboard toilet?
02:01Lou, Tony, don't be plebeian. B.T.'s ghosting my memoirs. Now I believe in laying one's ghost.
02:07Oh, B.T., what's your angle?
02:09Champion show jumper put out to pasture. Now a powerless backbench politician casting round for his next hobby.
02:16Never quite achieving the success he once had.
02:20What are you doing in New York? Whoring yourself around advertisers?
02:23You know if you don't start spending some of that fortune you're coining on making decent television, you're going to
02:28lose your business.
02:29Very much in hand. Just recruited a hot-shit young producer.
02:33Who?
02:33Mm. Cameron Cook.
02:35Never heard of him.
02:38You were. Desperate to work for Karinian. Bit my hand off in vain.
02:43Hope I didn't bleed on your nice suit.
02:47Wait me when we head back, too.
03:00What should you do?
03:04NonononononononononononononononononononononononononOn.
03:17I should be.
03:18Never heard of the
03:19Oh, oh, oh.
03:49Drug use, pornography, easier divorce, rampant homosexuality.
03:53Recent studies have shown that HIV isn't exclusively a homosexual disease, Deputy Prime Minister.
03:59Oh, but loveless rutting.
04:01The promiscuous encounters that characterize a Saturday night in Soho,
04:05those are the preconditions for this virus, which threatens...
04:08The precondition, Deputy Prime Minister, is the Victorian conservatism of the Tory government,
04:12which is narrow-minded, hypocritical, and quite frankly, cruel.
04:16And cut there, thank you. Ready to go again.
04:19He can say gay sex is loveless rutting, but I can't make a small comment about the government.
04:23BBC editorial policy, Declan.
04:25Sorry, Deputy Prime Minister.
04:27We're going again.
04:28Q Declan.
04:32Mr Stratton, yourself and Mrs Stratton have been married, what, 15 years?
04:3715 in April.
04:38Yeah, three children, a wife, a mistress, and an all-consuming job.
04:42It must be difficult to juggle everything.
04:46What?
04:47Although your wife, Winifred, has been staying at her family's Pimbleco apartment,
04:50which must have made it easier for you to spend time with your, uh...
04:5429-year-old secretary, Miss Sarah Price,
04:58who proudly told our researchers that you have the girth and stamina
05:02to compete with any championship racehorse.
05:04Is that a fair comment to make, sir?
05:05I, uh, well, the...
05:07Cut!
05:08Cut!
05:08I would look to your own glass house, Deputy Prime Minister,
05:11before you start throwing rocks at others.
05:13So, Declan, if we could just do another take without the slant.
05:15Fuck off, Alistair!
05:17Fuck!
05:18Freak!
05:20Fuck!
05:22Fuck!
05:22All meiner Wursen sind dabei!
05:25Fuck!
05:25Fuck!
05:26Who's this?
05:27Who's this?
05:28Fuck!
05:32Fuck!
05:34Fuck!
05:35Fuck!
05:36Fuck!
05:37Fuck!
05:39Fuck!
05:48I don't know whose bloomers are more of a twist tonight, aren't it, or the Prime Minister's.
05:52We both know the BBC won't show tonight's episode.
05:55I've said it before, Lord Bandingham, I'm happy here.
05:58And I'm not interested in commercial television.
06:02Oh.
06:05Director-General calling, save it a naughty boy.
06:19I'm offering you freedom.
06:22I saw your interview with Reagan.
06:24I bet they hacked out some corkers.
06:27We'd put you out live.
06:31Live?
06:32Complete editorial control.
06:35Skewer the bastards on air.
06:36It's halfway around the world before anyone's got a chance to complain.
06:40The satellite's coming.
06:42We're going global.
06:44It's exciting.
06:47You're stuck here with a load of librarians.
06:51When you could be an astronaut.
06:58I'd have to persuade Maud.
07:02Massive house from the country, she'd love it.
07:04What's a Wicklow man like you doing in Fulham?
07:07Dodging litter and dog shit.
07:08Come to the Coswolds.
07:11Even I have to win sometimes.
07:12How fucking pretty the place is.
07:20A little signing bonus.
07:22Declan, come on.
07:23You're being paid peanuts to get bloodless interviews with one hand tied behind your back.
07:29It's the golden age of television.
07:32You're missing the game.
07:41You.
07:46You.
08:00Look at bro Jones.
08:03It's all so sweet.
08:05You've got to make it hot.
08:09Like a boy, I got me to repeat.
08:13Give me all your lovin', all your hugs and kisses, dear.
08:21Give me all your lovin', don't let up until we're free.
08:29You've got to whip it up.
08:33And hit me like a ton of lead.
08:37If I blow my tongue, daddy's hand.
08:42Will you let it blow in your head?
08:45Give me all your lovin', all your hugs and kisses, dear.
08:53Give me all your lovin', don't let up until we're free.
09:05Hello, darling.
09:06How was your day?
09:07Extremely successful.
09:09Sorry I landed on you again.
09:11Yes, we do have other lovin'.
09:16Help me here.
09:17Heh, heh, heh.
09:18Yeah.
09:45Here we are, girls.
09:47The priory.
09:50Caitlin, we're here.
09:51What?
09:52We're here, we're here, look!
09:53We're here!
09:59Oh my god!
10:22Exciting things are going to happen to us in a place like this.
10:24Amazing.
10:26Oh!
10:27Gracious.
10:28Bagley, best rooms!
10:30Grittiest prison I ever saw.
10:32.
10:49I don't know.
11:03I've got no job, you can't turn it out now.
11:07Jehovah's Witness.
11:09Oh, fuck, she's seen us.
11:12Oh, you'll have to go down.
11:13What? Why me?
11:14I'm on the lookout.
11:15What? For him.
11:16Oh, God.
11:19Soviet officials have announced that 79 bodies have been recovered and nearly 320...
11:25Door!
11:26...after a Soviet cruise ship sank in the...
11:29Door!
11:31Hello.
11:32I just wanted to welcome you to...
11:33Oh, Dad, I'm so good. Sorry.
11:34No! No, thank you.
11:37We're not on the best of terms with Jehovah in this house.
11:40Taggy, just shut the door.
11:41Oh, it's not mine. I found it on a lawn.
11:44New English.
11:45Um...
11:45Is it the New English Bible?
11:47Yes.
11:48Daddy says it's a literary abomination.
11:49He must have thrown it out the window.
11:51And is he?
11:52I live down the valley.
11:54I bought you a bottle and some eggs.
11:56We'll open this now.
11:57Okay.
11:59Come on in.
12:01We haven't found the wine glasses yet.
12:04What time is the second post here?
12:06Oh, there isn't a second post.
12:08Taggy lost her virginity this summer to one of her son Patrick's university friends.
12:12He's in the south of France right now and not writing many postcards.
12:16Mummy.
12:16Oh, it must be so lonely for Rupert now he's not showjumping.
12:19And the only thing that persuaded Caitlin to leave all her friends in London
12:22was the thought of living opposite Rupert Campbell Black.
12:25I want him to ravish me.
12:27He's a middle-aged MP, Caitlin.
12:29Well, I'm so cross.
12:30I'm off to boarding school and won't get a first crack at him.
12:32He's bountiful for Taggy.
12:33Or even Mummy.
12:34How well do you know him?
12:36Oh, I'm not sure anyone really knows Rupert.
12:39But we're friends.
12:40So not carnally, then?
12:41I'm one of the few women around here who hasn't been ravished by Rupert.
12:45Is your husband fiercely protective?
12:47Mm-hmm.
12:49Oh, that's my novel.
12:52I wrote it.
12:53Have you read it?
12:54Oh, no, Taggy doesn't read.
12:56She's dyslexic.
12:57For a long time we thought she was retarded.
12:59Oh, he took what he wanted.
13:01I loved this.
13:03Talk about getting ravished.
13:05Isn't there a very naughty bit with some dock leaves?
13:09Oh.
13:13Yeah, the fight is quite old.
13:15Have you got another one coming out?
13:16Well, what with the children and my husband, I don't find much time to write nowadays.
13:20Hi, I need a shirt and some fucking socks.
13:25Oh.
13:25Daddy, that's Lizzie.
13:27I live just down the valley.
13:28She writes dirty books.
13:29Nice to meet you, Caitlin.
13:30You're wearing my socks.
13:31Well, they're warmer than time.
13:32Sorry, still unpacking.
13:33Thanks, love.
13:34How easy is it to find help, aren't you?
13:36We are not forking out for a cleaner.
13:38Well, stealing a woman's help around here is worse than stealing her husband.
13:42What if you stole both?
13:47That's grand, Taggy.
13:49Right.
13:49I am going to buy 30 pairs of socks in such a disgusting colour that none of you will ever
13:54pinch them again.
13:55Nice to meet you, Lizzie.
13:56Good luck, Daddy.
13:57Give him hell.
13:58All right, let's get smashed.
14:00Woo.
14:01Welcome to Ratcha.
14:13A man walks down the street, he says, why am I soft in the middle now?
14:17Why am I soft in the middle?
14:18The rest of my life is so hard.
14:20I need a photo opportunity.
14:22I want a shot of redemption.
14:24Don't want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard.
14:28Bone digger, bone digger.
14:29Get these months away from me, you know.
14:31I don't find this stuff on music anymore.
14:35And if you be my bodyguard, I can be your long, long child.
14:42I can call you Betty.
14:44Betty, when you call me, you can call me out.
14:50A man walks down the street, he says, why am I short of attention?
14:54Got a short little span of attention.
14:56And won't my nights are so long.
14:58Where's my wife and family?
14:59What if I die here?
15:01Who'll be my role model?
15:03Now that my role model is gone, gone.
15:07You duck back down the alley with some roly-poly little bat-faced girl.
15:12All along, along, there were incidents and accidents.
15:16There were hints and allegations.
15:20If you would be my bodyguard.
15:26Declan, hi.
15:27There he is!
15:28I see him!
15:29Okay.
15:30What the fuck?
15:34Just a man of the people.
15:36Don't be jealous, James.
15:37At least he won't steal your sunbed.
15:39He's tall, isn't he?
15:40Standing next to a very short car.
15:42I saw him in Pensacola.
15:43I think he looks a lot older in the flesh.
15:45Thank you, Deirdre.
15:46Who's producing him?
15:47Cameron, it's factual, not drama.
15:49Why does Cameron get all the good stuff?
15:50I really can't think.
15:53Declan, how much are they paying you?
15:55Why'd you leave the BBC, Declan?
15:56Come on, Declan, give us a smile.
15:57All right, all right, thanks, lads.
15:59That's your last.
16:00Give me the fuck out of here.
16:01This way?
16:02Who's got the paddy among the pigeons, haven't you?
16:04Who says no blacks, no Irish?
16:05I'm a one-man.
16:06Equal opportunities revolution, Ginger.
16:09It's iconic.
16:12I'm a journalist, not a celebrity.
16:14I ask the questions.
16:20Where the fuck is this Cameron guy I'm supposed to report to?
16:24Jesus, you don't just ambush someone.
16:27I'm a serious fucking journalist.
16:29I don't discuss my career with the Scorpion.
16:32Shit, shut up.
16:36Come in.
16:42Where is he?
16:47Take a seat, Declan.
16:51What, you're...
16:52Cameron Cook.
16:55You were expecting a man, possibly queer, which you would have endured, but certainly not a woman, and God forbid
17:01a black one.
17:02I thought you were a publicity girl.
17:03No, I'm a producer-y woman.
17:06Listen, I'm not...
17:07Prejudice?
17:07Of course not.
17:08You're an asshole to everyone.
17:10This isn't gonna work, Tony.
17:12It's not a chat show.
17:13It's a serious program.
17:15I want to produce a serious program, too, but there are ways...
17:17Oh, we're cuddling up on a sofa with cushions.
17:19You've seen the set design, then.
17:20I know my audience, Tony.
17:23A fucking sofa!
17:24You might listen to Cameron.
17:26NBC howled when I poached her.
17:27Oh.
17:28Do you know Charles Fairbairn, controller of programs?
17:31Declan.
17:33We knew each other at the Beeb.
17:34Look, um...
17:35Fatter.
17:36I don't miss the canteen at the BBC, darling.
17:39And Gingerbread, head of operations.
17:43I'm sorry, Tony.
17:44I produce myself.
17:46I've got Johnny Friedlander flying over for your first interview.
17:49Johnny Friedlander, the film star.
17:50No, Johnny Friedlander, my Dennis.
17:52I don't interview actors.
17:54Friedlander doesn't give interviews, not since the sex tape.
17:56They're saying it could be the next Bond.
17:58Dad, I've trouble replacing Roger.
18:00I've been speaking to Jackie Kennedy.
18:02She'll just blabber on about her old boring publishing job.
18:04No, she wants to talk about life as a single American woman, actually.
18:08You could learn something, Cameron.
18:10Look, you two log horns if it turns you on, but don't forget.
18:12I hired you both because you can get ratings,
18:15so let's pull together and get them, yes?
18:16Yes, the BBC have put top of the pops against us in the schedule.
18:21So you need to be more popular than Jimmy Savile.
18:23Johnny Friedlander is a global megastar,
18:25and he hasn't given an interview in five years.
18:26People will watch this.
18:28Book Jackie for the next one.
18:36Okay, fine.
18:39But I do my own research.
18:42And no fucking sofa!
18:45Give him whatever fucking furniture he wants, all right?
18:48We all know it's not about the sofa.
18:49I don't need this shit, Tony.
18:50You brought me here to produce drama, not a chat show.
18:53I brought you here to be the cleverest person in the building
18:56and terrify the rest of them into pulling their socks up.
18:58So far, so good.
18:59You're a lion in a petting zoo.
19:00But we need big game like Declan
19:02to convince the IBA to renew our contract.
19:04We lose the franchise, there won't be any drama to produce.
19:07You'll be on the next boat back.
19:11I didn't come here on a boat.
19:13Forgive me, semantics.
19:14I flew here on fucking Concord.
19:17I paid for the ticket.
19:20Worth every penny.
19:28I paid for the ticket.
19:31I paid for the ticket.
19:39It's gorgeous.
19:40Yes.
19:41There are badger sets up at the top there.
19:44And in spring, the bluebells flaying between the beach trees
19:48like little Bunsen burners.
19:51Sorry, I sound like an estate agent.
19:53I just can't believe this is all ours.
19:54Well, only to the bottom of the wood,
19:56and then Rupert will have you for trespassing.
19:59Yeah.
20:00Well, thank you for walking me back.
20:03I'm really quite pissed.
20:08It's like Rupert's back home.
20:11Caitlin will be scaling the wall.
20:13Caitlin's all talk.
20:14She's sworn off and married until she's at least 35.
20:17I've got too much to do, she says.
20:19And you?
20:21With parents like yours, you must have big plans.
20:24Oh.
20:25I'd like to be a cook.
20:26Oh.
20:26Following recipes and writing things down,
20:28I don't know what to do with myself, really.
20:31How old are you?
20:3219?
20:3220.
20:3320.
20:34Your whole life ahead of you.
20:37It's 1986.
20:39You can have whatever you want.
20:42So Cosmo tells us.
20:48Back into battle.
20:50How many children do you have?
20:52Two.
20:53Three, counting my husband.
20:55He works for Corineum too.
20:56Yeah, you didn't say.
20:57I talk about my husband as little as possible.
21:00He does enough of that himself.
21:01Oh.
21:04I'm going to get you.
21:12I'm going to get you.
21:14I'm going to get you.
21:14You can't catch me.
21:16Hello.
21:17What's going on?
21:34Oh, my God.
21:35There's fire.
21:37Oh, there's fire!
21:38Oh!
21:42Oh!
21:49Oh, come on.
21:51Oh!
21:53Oh!
21:54Oh!
21:57Oh!
21:59Oh!
22:04Oh!
22:05Oh!
22:06Oh!
22:07Oh!
22:08Oh!
22:08Oh!
22:09Oh!
22:09Oh!
22:10Oh!
22:11Oh!
22:12Oh!
22:12Oh!
22:13Oh!
22:13Fire!
22:17Fire!
22:20It's on fire!
22:21Deadfall.
22:22Your tits are at least six inches over the line.
22:24Well, you can't fold, then.
22:25You're at least ten inches over the line.
22:30Damn.
22:33Don't be shy, darling.
22:36Your fields are on fire.
22:39And...
22:40It's the quickest way to get rid of the stubble after the harvest.
22:43Could you, um...
22:45So you separated them on purpose?
22:47Sorry.
22:49Who the fuck are you and why are you here?
22:50What about the animals? The rabbits and voles and birds?
22:53Yes, and the lovely ickle earwig.
22:55Should I stop ploughing my fields because it's cruel to wood lice?
22:57You're murdering them.
22:58Do you want me to give them a state funeral?
23:03What the hell?
23:04I called the fire brigade.
23:08Get off my land before I call the police as well,
23:12and take that brute back to its pigsty!
23:16You are utterly...
23:22abhorrent!
23:23Yes.
23:27Well, I was born an original sinner.
23:32I was born from original sin.
23:36And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done,
23:40there'd be a mountain of money piled up...
23:43Gentlemen, you ordered a full-bodied Argentine.
23:46And the wine, Basil?
23:47Yes.
23:48Have you tried this one before?
23:49It's very, very nice.
23:51I'm assuming we're on expenses.
23:53Baz enjoys helping me spend corinneal money.
23:56I do.
23:57Oh!
23:58Oh, wonderful.
23:59Now, I must say, I loved your coverage of the royal wedding, Charles.
24:02Thank you, Baz.
24:04Andrew and Fergie are a modern-day fairy tale.
24:06Well, you know what they say about rare chance.
24:08Enjoy, chaps.
24:10That's Tony's wrong.
24:11Half-brother.
24:12He got a good half.
24:14The mother had a scandalous fling with an Argentinian polo player.
24:18Basil was the result.
24:20Baz was always the favourite with Daddy,
24:21despite his dubious origins,
24:24and poor Tony just never managed to catch up.
24:27Does he hold a grudge?
24:28Tony, darling, he cultivates them like rare orchids.
24:31Artists.
24:32Tony cultivates artists.
24:34You're in safe hands.
24:35We're so lucky to have such a strong leader at the helm.
24:38Hello, Archie.
24:39I'll have the...
24:43liver and marmalade
24:45and a radicchio salad.
24:46And for you, sir?
24:47Steak.
24:48Still mooing.
24:57Tony's son.
24:58Working here for the summer holidays.
25:00Teaching his children the value of money.
25:03And tell me, is Cameron Cook as big a bitch as she seems?
25:07She is a genius.
25:12So we ripped up the treatment, aged all the characters down ten years
25:16and gave them some desire.
25:18The men were all dickless.
25:20So I said to Tony, our audience wants to fantasize
25:23about being banged over the sink while doing the dishes.
25:26And Four Men Went to Mow is now the top-rated network drama of the year.
25:31Looking good, boys.
25:32I smell like Sunday lunch.
25:34You look delicious.
25:35Everybody, this is Lady Gosling, chairwoman of the Independent Broadcasting Authority.
25:39Best behavior, everyone.
25:42And this is the Declan set.
25:43Yes.
25:44Very impressive.
25:45You're rather impressive, aren't you?
25:48Where did Tony find you?
25:50New York.
25:51Ah.
25:52August 26, 1970.
25:54I marched with Gloria Steinem on the women's strike for equality.
25:58My mom was on that march.
26:01Don't iron while the strike is hot.
26:04I think you'll be pleased with the efforts we've made to address your concerns.
26:07I am not your Barbie doll.
26:11And Declan O'Hara's presence on the Carinium team,
26:13it just nudges that political dial leftwards.
26:16And the board.
26:17If you want to hang on to your franchise, then Carinium's board needs strengthening.
26:21Well...
26:22Have you thought of Rupert Campbell Black?
26:26Rupert's presence would give you legitimacy, Anthony.
26:29I don't like taking people's franchises away, but...
26:32Rupert would give Carinium real sparkle.
26:35I want to be convinced that I'm backing the right horse.
26:39Tell me more about your mother.
26:42Oh, I was into fallacies.
26:43Really?
26:44Oh, I feel like that.
26:51I mean...
26:53They don't tell you when you leave the BBC.
26:55Yes, there's a lot more money in independent television,
26:58but you're going up against 14 other regional companies,
27:01just like you.
27:03And then there's franchise renewal.
27:05But that's, what, once every five years?
27:07Yeah, but the anxiety is constant.
27:08Because some other company can just waltz in
27:10and take your franchise away.
27:13We may not have had biscuits at the BBC,
27:15but all we had to do was make television.
27:18Do you think I made the wrong move?
27:20Oh, no.
27:21Granada have Coronation Street.
27:23LWT has Blind Date.
27:25Carinium now has you.
27:27You're the golden goose, darling.
27:28Say it back and let Tony fucking fatten you up.
27:34The foie gras is divine here, by the way.
28:00The foie gras is divine here, by the way.
28:02I wish I was coming, too.
28:03I've only been invited so I can drive Mummy and Daddy home
28:05when they're drunk.
28:06Oh, you've already met Rupert.
28:07It's not fair.
28:09He's always Willie.
28:10He's vile.
28:11Oh, that journalist is so lucky to be shagging him.
28:15What are you looking for?
28:16Oh, the bright blue Minnie.
28:20Do you think it's going to happen again?
28:21What?
28:23Mummy.
28:28Now we're here, I quite want to stay.
28:30Taggy!
28:32Oh, let's go.
28:36What?
28:37You're wearing Taggy's dress?
28:39Uh, I wore this to Bono's Christmas party.
28:41It was mine then, too.
28:42Oh, you're so touchy these days.
28:44Look, we are going to go and meet the most wonderful people this afternoon.
28:48I'm excited.
28:52Leaving London's going to be good for her and Daddy, isn't it?
28:56It will be.
28:59I'll be okay.
29:00I promise.
29:15Vernon will meet me when the poet lands.
29:20Keys to the MG will be in his hands.
29:24Adjust to the driving and I'm on my way.
29:29It's all on the right side of Montego, babe.
29:33Sing out.
29:34Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
29:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
29:42Come sing me love.
29:44Come sing me Montego, babe.
29:48Well done, darling.
29:50Great turnout again, I must say.
29:53As I've told them to up the proportion of orange juice in the Bucksville,
29:56I've told everyone plastered like last year.
29:59Oh, no.
30:00So, which one is it you want for your board?
30:03Is it the electronics millionaire chap?
30:05Freddie Jones.
30:06Don't be there with a touch.
30:09I'll get him onto satellite technology.
30:11You can ask her if she's made any friends in the area yet.
30:13She's opened a boutique in Colchester,
30:15so you should offer to pop in and buy something.
30:20Hmm.
30:22Is Miss Cook coming?
30:25Couldn't drag her away from the studio.
30:28Declan goes live in a matter of days.
30:30And here's our star!
30:36Ah!
30:38You're even more beautiful in the flesh, Mrs. O'Hara.
30:42Declan.
30:42Tony.
30:43I'm so glad you're here.
30:44Everyone's dying to meet some new people.
30:46We're all very bored of each other.
30:48The Maud O'Hara.
30:50My favourite actress, Baz.
30:52The better baddie.
30:54If you say so.
30:56So please, you can make it, Basil.
30:57Declan, let me show you off to some board members.
30:59Why don't we get you a drink?
31:02You were wonderful, Mrs. Lady Macbeth.
31:17Not going to Lord B's party.
31:19I turned Tony down, not my kind of crowd.
31:22Is that the only reason?
31:25What other reason would there be?
31:29I want your opinion.
31:30I'm not paid to have opinions.
31:33Now, I agreed to ditch the sofa, but why a desk?
31:35He's not a news anchor.
31:37Perhaps he wants to hide behind it.
31:39Huh.
31:40It's not because he hasn't got good legs.
31:42I've looked.
31:47Steve, move the desk off the set for a minute.
31:49Declan asked for the desk.
31:50Yeah, I want to see it without the desk.
31:51It's just we built the desk.
31:52I'm not telling you to burn a damn thing.
31:54I'm telling you to move it so I can see the set.
31:55Can you do that?
31:56Alright, keep your wig on.
31:59That's funny.
32:01You know what isn't funny?
32:03Looking for another fucking job.
32:15It's better.
32:16See?
32:17It's better.
32:27Oh, Rupert's arrived.
32:33Really?
32:35That's Gerald.
32:36Rupert's aide.
32:38We go way back.
32:41Where's your gorgeous Lord of Martha?
32:43He's not here.
32:44Oh, damn it.
32:45I have a pile of papers for him to sign it.
32:46I can only pin him down at parties.
32:48You can pin me down later if you like.
32:54Follow-up on.
32:56Actually, I think I might just...
33:00Lizzie.
33:02Lizzie.
33:03Um, I think the mum wants you.
33:06He doesn't want me.
33:07That's my husband.
33:10That's all.
33:31Thank you, darling.
33:32I feel like I should be reading the news.
33:34Um, fortunately we have the wonderful James Verica to do that instead.
33:38Um, now, you know what, I won't keep you from your lunch.
33:41Uh, but I'm very glad to have you all here to celebrate Carinium's newest star with me.
33:47Ladies and gentlemen, Declan O'Hara.
33:55Declan joins Carinium, of course, on the crest of a wave.
33:58Uh, wonderful ratings for our prestige drama Four Men Went to Mow.
34:03Who knew arable farming could be so sexy?
34:06Uh, and with revenue from our sales to America,
34:10we are confident that this is going to be our most successful autumn ever.
34:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:17Jumped over six four grown men.
34:26Oh, my God, it's him.
34:28So sorry, sorry.
34:30Didn't mean to steal your thunder.
34:32No fire engines with you today.
34:34Oh, God.
34:36Um, please, uh, go on to your speech.
34:39Oh, hello, darling.
34:41Hello.
34:42Um, but Declan, you are undoubtedly the jewel in the Carinium crown,
34:48and I know everyone here joins me in welcoming you,
34:51your wife, Maud, and your daughter, Agatha,
34:54to our Cotchester family.
34:56Declan O'Hara, ladies and gentlemen.
35:06Lunch, everybody.
35:08Good lunch.
35:08Thank you too much.
35:09Thank you too much.
35:10Thank you too much.
35:11Thank you too much.
35:16Is it loving in your eyes all the way?
35:23If I listen to your lies, would you say?
35:32Look at all this gorgeous food.
35:36I'm a man who doesn't know...
35:40I'm a man who doesn't know...
35:45I'm a man who doesn't know...
35:58Those Victorians must have worn a lot of jumpers.
36:01Oh.
36:03Very good.
36:04But the only house I know around there is Bottom Hollow Court.
36:06And Greenlawn sounded so much prettier,
36:08especially now we've landscaped the garden.
36:10No tatties, Fred Fred.
36:15Lord Baddingham is wooing my Fred Fred for his board.
36:19I'm encouraging him to get more cultured.
36:21We could do with a few more caring wives of Corinna, Miss Jones.
36:25Please.
36:27Call me Mousy.
36:28All of my friends do.
36:29Should we go and find some way to perch?
36:31Let's. Mousy.
36:34Do move on to something soft, darling.
36:35We don't want the humpball again.
36:37I do so enjoy your couple.
36:40Stop it.
36:42My husband tells me you're one of the most powerful men in England.
36:47Yeah, I suppose I am.
36:48And I expect you're allowed a few potatoes.
36:53One potato, two potato, three.
36:56Shall we find my booze?
37:01Hello, Duncan.
37:03I'll see you later.
37:05We were all so surprised when you left the BBC for Corinna.
37:08Mm-hmm.
37:09Do you miss your integrity?
37:10Or do you feel lighter without it?
37:13What was it the private I called you?
37:15The first not quite a lady of Fleet Street, was it?
37:23Tag?
37:24See my mother around?
37:26No.
37:26I haven't.
37:29I've met a few athletes in my time.
37:31They always get what they want.
37:33And what do we want?
37:35To win.
37:36Well, sadly I'm not show jumping anymore.
37:39Well, you're still athletic.
37:43You're certainly too disturbing to be living across the valley.
37:51There you are.
37:52There you are.
37:53Finally.
37:55Sure guy himself.
37:57Mr. Cumberblack.
37:59Getting to know the neighbours?
38:02Taggy, have you met Rupert?
38:05No. Think I'd remember.
38:07Agatha. That's my daughter.
38:09Taggy.
38:11I hear you did a hatchet job on Paul Stratton.
38:14That I'd have loved to see.
38:15Mmm.
38:20Shall we make a dent in Tony's whisky collection?
38:25Why not?
38:41Are you hiding again?
38:43Well, they're just at the end of Das Rheingold.
38:45I need you to go out there with me.
38:47Bloody Rupert. I want to get this over with.
38:49Oh, come here.
38:54Can't believe I'm going to him for legitimacy.
38:57All he did for his status was to be born into it.
38:59It's just social currency, darling. It's the way the world works.
39:02Public school, why?
39:03Shall we send Archie to a comprehensive and save on the school fees?
39:07He'll only make you feel inferior if you give him permission.
39:11Now, deep breath.
39:12Shoulders back.
39:14Goodbye.
39:19Working the weekend?
39:20I hope Tony's paying you handsomely, Ginger.
39:23Come on, dogs.
39:26Took some digging, but I found these.
39:28I think you'll enjoy them.
39:30It's a little Declan O'Hara insurance.
39:33Ooh.
39:42Hmm.
39:57Peaceful is the country that is strongly earned.
40:01Hmm.
40:02Baddingham family motto.
40:05Circa 1972.
40:10Lord Pop Pop, Tony's father, made his millions in munitions during the war.
40:15That's why Tony married Lady Monica of the Glen.
40:19He had Daddy's cash.
40:21Mon Mon had the house, and what Tony wants most of all, class.
40:28And why are the English so obsessed with class?
40:32Money.
40:32Declan?
40:33I was only asking Mr. Cumberblack a question, look.
40:36Rupert.
40:38You've met Declan, then?
40:39Anyone want another drink?
40:40Oh!
40:41You found one.
40:44It's Deason Scott.
40:45Did Monica choose it?
40:48Ignore us.
40:49Our families go back a long way.
40:51Not that far.
40:53Listen, er, can I have a word, Rupert, in private?
40:56A business proposition.
40:57Well, we're all friends here.
40:59Nothing you could say to me that dear Morty shouldn't hear?
41:02I am not drinking sherry with the wives while the men have all the fun.
41:06No, you want to be here when Tony asks me to be on his board.
41:16Er, er, er, well, all right.
41:20It's a lucrative game, I thought you wanted.
41:23It's so hard to take you seriously, Tony, you just always sound like you're playing Monopoly.
41:28Ha!
41:30The answer's no.
41:31Lady Gosling thinks I can give you some class,
41:34help you keep your franchise,
41:35but I'm not using my family name so you can buy yourself a bigger helicopter.
41:42Er, Tony, Paul Stratton's here.
41:45Ah!
41:48Sorry we're late, everyone.
41:50Bit of trouble getting out of bed, actually.
41:52Yeah, you know what newlyweds are like.
41:55Oh, mind yourself in those jeans.
41:57You bend over your eyes will pop out.
41:58Good.
41:58And the new Mrs Stratton.
42:01Now, you are a very welcome upgrade.
42:04Well done, Paul.
42:08Do you know Declan O'Hara?
42:09Oh, yes.
42:10Yeah.
42:10You did us all a favour, actually, Mr O'Hara.
42:13Good to get everything out in the open.
42:15We're insanely happy.
42:16Aren't we, Paul?
42:17I'm a new man.
42:22Excuse me.
42:41I heard about you catching Campbell Black playing tennis in the Noddy.
42:47That's enough to upset anyone.
42:49Who knows about that?
42:51Well, the whole valley knows about the fire engines.
42:56And I know who the mystery woman was now, don't I?
43:12I know who the mystery woman is now.
43:15I know who the mystery woman loves her.
43:18It's like, you know, she's out there.
43:22I know who the mystery man is now, don't I?
43:23I know who the mystery man is now.
43:26I know who the mystery man loves her.
43:52You know you're dancing with the devil, don't you?
43:55Says the man who works for Thatcher.
43:57Let's hope he's got rhythm.
44:18Oh, incoming.
44:23You bastard!
44:26You've been shagging Sarah Stratton, too.
44:34It was only tennis.
45:00Fuck!
45:01Ah!
45:02Jump!
45:04Ouch!
45:04Oh!
45:05Oh!
45:11Oh!
45:12Oh!
45:19Stevie, darling.
45:21I'm going to ruin you.
45:36I'm so sorry I wouldn't mind but that's my car
45:57so it's Rupert now is it it was a conversation I was conversing
46:01you were all over him oh now I can't even talk to a man without you assuming that I'm after
46:05him
46:06oh grow up good I didn't ask to come here you're the one that took the check and just sold
46:11us all
46:11out yeah Maude it's a horrible house and you live in terrible light well these are our people now
46:15oh my god they're all horses and dogs and houses and cars and who's got the longest fucking driveway
46:22oh my god the men are all desperate to write anything as long as they're not married to it
46:26the wives Jesus they haven't had an orgasm since pony club camp
46:38that's not us is it
46:43everyone was looking at you
46:45her and did you like that oh god how much how much did you like that
46:54tell me
46:55oh my God
46:56oh my God
47:06Oh, my God.
47:46Oh, my God.
48:07Oh, my God.
48:20Yes.
48:23Yes, fine.
48:26No, it was, uh, a buffet table.
48:31Of course, see you at 9 a.m.
48:34You have a good evening, Prime Minister.
48:42Come on, dogs.
48:43Daddy's in trouble again.
49:03Mummy and Daddy are clearly back on track.
49:06Was Rupert there?
49:07Yeah.
49:08I think so.
49:19As she gazed at the Ocaseis with their burnished bohemian beauty, entering this world of unbridled passion, she worried.
49:29Little did Dermot Ocasey know that he had brought his family into the wild, into a world of untamable beasts,
49:37giving in to their basest needs.
49:48Hungry for sex.
49:55Hungry for status.
50:00Hungry for love.
50:09Hungry for power.
50:11You know, Campbell Black is finished after today.
50:15Hungry for comfort.
50:17Are you coming to bed?
50:18You had better be stopped while I'm not sure I'll get through that.
50:24Good dog.
50:25Good dog.
50:26Slide out.
50:34My eyes have seen the glory of the calming of the Lord.
50:54Because as seductive as his predators might be, one should always beware of being eaten.
51:01Oh, yes!
51:24This is a surprise.
51:27The Prime Minister wasn't thrilled about seeing her minister's private lives splashed all over the paper as Paul Stratton's been
51:33shuffled to the back benches.
51:35Oh, dear. Have you lost your job?
51:37No, not at all. No. No, Mrs. Thatcher's given me a promotion.
51:41I'm her new minister for sport, so...
51:46I couldn't have done it without you.
51:49You had to come all this way to tell me that?
51:53I want you to keep your grubby little nose out of my affairs.
51:58Maggie will see through you've seen enough, you overprivileged cunt.
52:07I'll have to try harder than that if you want to beat me, Lord Battingham.
52:19Game on.
52:28Game on.
52:53Game on.
52:54Game on.
52:56Game on.
53:09Game on.
53:11You
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