- 7 hours ago
Thank you for watching my video. Please follow me, wish you always happy and healthy and don't forget to support me!!!!
Category
š„
Short filmTranscript
00:003.
00:13I'm so sorry.
00:22You're a complete loser.
00:246.
00:26I'm so sorry.
00:277.
00:298.
00:299.
00:2910.
00:2910.
00:36This is your captain speaking. Keep your eyes on the board. We're about to go super sonic.
01:00Ow! Ow! Ow!
01:17Did we break the sound barrier?
01:20Sorry, Mr. Camper Black. I didn't know it was you in there.
01:30You see the signs, but you can't read. You're running at a different speed.
01:38Your heart beats, double time, another kiss.
01:47Enjoying your flight, Rupert?
01:49Tony Battingham.
01:51Do you know B.T. Johnson from The Scorpion?
01:54Oh, no, but I hear great things.
01:56Did the Prime Minister give you permission to fuck a journalist in the onboard toilet?
02:01Lou, Tony, don't be plebeian.
02:03B.T.'s ghosting my memoirs. Now I believe in laying one's ghost.
02:07Oh, B.T., what's your angle?
02:09Champion show jumper put out to pasture.
02:11Now a powerless backbench politician casting round for his next hobby.
02:16Never quite achieving the success he once had.
02:20What are you doing in New York? Whoring yourself around advertisers?
02:23You know if you don't start spending some of that fortune you're coining on making decent television,
02:28you're going to lose your business.
02:29Very much in hand.
02:30Just recruited a hot shit young producer.
02:33Who?
02:33Mm.
02:34Cameron Cook.
02:35Never heard of him.
02:38You were.
02:40Desperate to work for Karinian.
02:41Bit my hand off in vain.
02:43Hope I didn't bleed on your nice suit.
02:47Wait me when we head back, too.
03:14Wait me when we head back, too.
03:29You've been trying to find the most important part but you can find the most important part for me.
03:30What is the Bott ģź°?
03:31I don't think he assigned such a good boy with anybody, or maybe he has soers of the financed generation
03:32to succeed.
03:32When he says no he's having a hyvin, he is very convenient for me.
03:32I bad.
03:33Can he tell him?
03:35The way that poor man could hang out sometimes, but he gives you a whole lot of pride?
03:35He's a true person and he's never Margirit.
03:35He said he wants to catch all that time, then that's how he Cap relevancy Liebe.
03:35It seems like a substituteŃŠ“Š°
03:41and he just prevented no harm him.
03:42He didn't meaning that conviction.
03:44Maybe the lieutenant would never do that tip.
03:49Drogues, pornography, easier divorce, rampant homosexuality.
03:53Recent studies have shown that HIV isn't exclusively a homosexual disease, Deputy Prime Minister.
03:59No, but loveless rutting.
04:01The promiscuous encounters that characterize a Saturday night in Soho,
04:05those are the preconditions for this virus which threatens...
04:08The precondition, Deputy Prime Minister, is the Victorian conservatism of the Tory government
04:12which is narrow-minded, hypocritical, and, quite frankly, cruel.
04:16And cut there. Thank you. Ready to go again.
04:19He can say gay sex is loveless rutting,
04:21but I can't make a small comment about the government.
04:23TBC editorial policy, Declan.
04:25Sorry, Deputy Prime Minister.
04:27We're going again.
04:28Q Declan.
04:32Mr Stratton, yourself and Mrs Stratton have been married, what, 15 years?
04:3715 in April.
04:38Three children, a wife, a mistress, and an all-consuming job.
04:42It must be difficult to juggle everything.
04:46What?
04:47Although your wife, Winifred, has been staying at her family's Pimbleco apartment,
04:50which must have made it easier for you to spend time with your, uh,
04:5429-year-old secretary, Miss Sarah Price,
04:58who proudly told our researchers that you have the girth and stamina
05:02to compete with any championship racehorse.
05:04Is that a fair comment to make, sir?
05:05I, uh, well, the...
05:07Cut! Cut!
05:08I would look to your own glass house, Deputy Prime Minister,
05:11before you start throwing rocks at others.
05:13Phil Declan, if we could just do another take without the slant.
05:15Fuck off, Alistair!
05:17Fuck!
05:18Frick!
05:21Fuck!
05:25What is this?
05:26What is this?
05:27What is this?
05:48I don't know whose bloomers are more of a twist tonight, aren't it, or the Prime Minister's.
05:52We both know that the BBC won't show tonight's episode.
05:55I've said it before, Lord Bandigham.
05:57I'm happy here.
05:58And I'm not interested in commercial television.
06:02Oh.
06:05Director General calling, save me the naughty boy.
06:19I'm offering you freedom.
06:22I saw your interview with Reagan.
06:24I bet they hacked out some corkers.
06:27We'd put you out live.
06:31Live?
06:32Complete editorial control.
06:34Well, skew with the bastards on air.
06:36It's halfway around the world before anyone's got a chance to complain.
06:40The satellite's coming.
06:42We're going global.
06:44It's exciting.
06:47You're stuck here with a load of librarians.
06:50When you could be an astronaut.
06:58I'd have to persuade Maud.
07:02Massive house from the country.
07:03She'd love it.
07:04It's a Wicklow man like you doing it in Fulham.
07:07Dodging litter and dog shit.
07:08Come to the Coswolds.
07:11Even I have to win sometimes.
07:12How fucking pretty the place is.
07:20A little signing bonus.
07:22Declan, come on.
07:23You've been paid peanuts to get bloodless interviews with one hand tied behind your back.
07:29It's the golden age of television.
07:32You're missing the game.
07:54You're missing the game.
07:57I've got to have a shot.
08:01But what you've got is all so sweet.
08:05You've got to make it hot.
08:09Like a boy.
08:11I got me to repeat.
08:13Give me all your lovin'.
08:16All your hugs and kisses, dear.
08:21Give me all your lovin'.
08:24Don't let up until we leave.
08:29You've got to whip it up.
08:33And hit me like a ton of lead.
08:37If I blow my tongue.
08:39Ham.
08:40Daddy's ham.
08:42Will you let it blow in your head?
08:45Give me all your lovin'.
08:48All your hugs and kisses, dear.
08:54Give me all your lovin'.
08:56Give me all your lovin'.
08:56Don't let up until we leave.
09:05Hello, darling.
09:06How was your day?
09:07Extremely successful.
09:09Sorry I landed on you yet.
09:11Yes, we do have other lovin'.
09:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
09:18Yeah.
09:45Here we are, girls.
09:47The priory.
09:50Kingdom, we're here.
09:51What?
09:52We're here, we're here.
09:53Look, we're here.
09:59Oh, my God.
10:22Exciting things are going to happen to us in a place like this.
10:25Amazing.
10:27Rachel, you're welcome.
10:28Bagley, best rooms.
10:29Absolutely not.
10:30Grittiest prison I ever saw.
10:51Get out of the cell.
10:52Get out of the cell.
10:53Get out of the cell.
10:57Get out of the cell.
11:08Jehovah's Witness.
11:09Oh, fuck, she's seen us.
11:12Oh, you'll have to go down.
11:13What?
11:13Why me?
11:14I'm on the lookout.
11:15For him.
11:16Oh, my God.
11:19Soviet officials have announced that 79 bodies have been caught on the ground.
11:23And nearly 320 people are missing after a Soviet cruise ship.
11:28Thanks for the day.
11:29Door!
11:31Hello.
11:31I just wanted to welcome you to all.
11:33Oh, my God.
11:34Sorry.
11:34Oh, no.
11:35No, thank you.
11:36We're in on the best of terms with Jehovah in this house.
11:40Taggy, just shut the door.
11:41Oh, it's not mine.
11:42I found it on a lawn.
11:44New English.
11:45Um.
11:45Is it the New English Bible?
11:47Yes.
11:48Daddy says it's a literary abomination.
11:49He must have thrown it out the window.
11:51I'm Lizzie.
11:52I live down the valley.
11:53I bought you a bottle and some eggs.
11:56We'll open this now.
11:58Okay.
11:59Come on in.
12:01We haven't found the wine glasses yet.
12:04Tell us the second post here.
12:06Oh, there isn't a second post.
12:08Taggy lost her virginity this summer to one of her son Patrick's university friends.
12:12He's in the south of France right now and not writing many postcards.
12:16Mummy.
12:16Oh, it must be so lonely for Rupert now he's not show jumping.
12:19And the only thing that persuaded Caitlin to leave all her friends in London was the thought of living opposite
12:24Rupert Campbell Black.
12:25I want him to ravish me.
12:27He's a middle-aged MP, Caitlin.
12:29Well, I'm so cross.
12:30I'm off to boarding school and won't get a first crack at him.
12:32He's bountiful for Taggy or even Mummy.
12:34How well do you know him?
12:36Oh, I'm not sure anyone really knows Rupert.
12:39But we're friends.
12:40So not carnally, then.
12:42I'm one of the few women around here who hasn't been ravished by Rupert.
12:45Is your husband, fiercely protective?
12:47Mm-hmm.
12:49Oh, that's my novel.
12:52I wrote it.
12:53Have you read it?
12:54Oh, no, Taggy doesn't read.
12:56She's dyslexic.
12:57For a long time we thought she was retarded.
12:59Oh, he took what he wanted.
13:01I loved this.
13:03Talk about getting ravished.
13:05Isn't there a very naughty bit with some duck leaves?
13:09Oh.
13:13Yeah, the photo's quite old.
13:15Have you got another one coming out?
13:16Well, what with the children and my husband, I don't find much time to write nowadays.
13:20Hi.
13:21I need a shirt and some fucking socks.
13:24Oh.
13:25Daddy, that's Lizzie.
13:27I live just down the valley.
13:28She writes dirty books.
13:29Nice to meet you, Caitlin.
13:30You're wearing my socks.
13:31Well, they're warmer than time.
13:32Sorry.
13:32Still unpacking.
13:33Thanks, love.
13:34How easy is it to find help, aren't you?
13:36We are not forking out for a cleaner.
13:39Well, stealing a woman's help around here is worse than stealing her husband.
13:42What if you stole both?
13:47That's Grant, Tagg.
13:48Right.
13:49I am going to buy 30 pairs of socks in such a disgusting colour that none of you will ever
13:54pinch them again.
13:55Nice to meet you, Lizzie.
13:56Good luck, Daddy.
13:57Give him help.
13:58All right, let's get smashed.
14:00Woo.
14:01Welcome to Ratcha.
14:13A man walks down the street, he says, why am I soft in the middle now?
14:17Why am I soft in the middle?
14:18The rest of my life is so hard.
14:20I need a photo opportunity.
14:22I want a shot of redemption.
14:24Don't want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard.
14:28Bone-digger, bone-digger.
14:29Get these mutts away from me, you know.
14:31I don't find this stuff a musical in your life.
14:35And if you be my bodyguard, I can be your long, long child.
14:42I can call you Betty.
14:44Betty, when you call me, you can call me out.
14:50A man walks down the street, he says, why am I short of attention?
14:54Got a short little span of attention.
14:56And won't my nights are so long.
14:58Where's my wife and family?
14:59What if I die here?
15:01Who'll be my role model?
15:03Now that my role model is gone, gone.
15:07We ducked back down the alley with some roly-poly little bat-faced girl.
15:12All along, along, there were incidents and accidents.
15:16There were hints and allegations.
15:20If you'd be my bodyguard.
15:26Declan, hi.
15:27There he is!
15:28I see him!
15:29Okay.
15:30What the fuck?
15:34Just a man of the people.
15:36Don't be jealous, James.
15:37At least he won't steal your sunbed.
15:39He's tall, isn't he?
15:40Standing next to a very short car.
15:42I saw him in Pensacan.
15:43I think he looks a lot older in the flesh.
15:45Thank you, Deirdre.
15:46Who's producing him?
15:47Cameron.
15:47It's factual, not drama.
15:49Why does Cameron get all the good stuff?
15:50I really can't think.
15:53Declan, how much are they paying you?
15:55Why'd you leave the BBC, Declan?
15:56Come on, Declan, give us a smile.
15:57All right, all right, thanks, lads.
15:59That's your laugh.
16:00Give me the fuck out of here.
16:01This way?
16:02Who's got the paddy among the pigeons, haven't you?
16:04Who says no blacks, no Irish?
16:05I'm a one-man.
16:06Equal opportunities revolution, Ginger.
16:09It's iconic.
16:12I'm a journalist, not a celebrity.
16:14I ask the questions.
16:16It's Declan, you're on it.
16:20Where the fuck is this Cameron guy I'm supposed to report to?
16:24Jesus, you don't just ambush someone.
16:27I'm a serious fucking journalist.
16:29I don't discuss my career with the Scorpion.
16:32Shit, shut up.
16:36Come in.
16:43Where is he?
16:47Take a seat, Declan.
16:51What, you're...
16:52Cameron Cook.
16:55You were expecting a man, possibly queer, which you would have endured, but certainly not a woman, and God forbid
17:01a black one.
17:02I thought you were a publicity girl.
17:03No, I'm a producery woman.
17:06Listen, I'm not...
17:07Prejudice?
17:07Of course not.
17:08You're an asshole to everyone.
17:10This isn't going to work, Tony.
17:12It's not a chat show.
17:13It's a serious program.
17:15I want to produce a serious program, too, but there are ways...
17:17Oh, we're cutting up on a sofa with cushions.
17:19You've seen the set design, then.
17:20I know my audience, Tony.
17:23A fucking sofa!
17:24You might listen to Cameron.
17:26NBC howled when I poached her.
17:27Oh.
17:28Do you know Charles Fairbairn, controller of programs?
17:31Declan.
17:33We knew each other at the Beeb.
17:34You look, um...
17:35Fatter.
17:36I don't miss the canteen at the BBC, darling.
17:39And Gingerbread, head of operations.
17:43I'm sorry, Tony.
17:44I produce myself.
17:46I've got Johnny Friedlander flying over for your first interview.
17:49Johnny Friedlander, the film star.
17:50No, Johnny Friedlander, my Dennis.
17:52I don't interview actors.
17:54Friedlander doesn't give interviews, not since the sex tape.
17:56They're saying it could be the next Bond.
17:58Dad, I've trouble replacing Roger.
18:00I've been speaking to Jackie Kennedy.
18:02She'll just blabber on about her old boring publishing job.
18:04No, she wants to talk about life as a single American woman, actually.
18:08You could learn something, Cameron.
18:10Look, you two log horns if it turns you on, but don't forget.
18:12I hired you both because you can get ratings,
18:15so let's pull together and get them, yes?
18:16Yes, the BBC have put top of the pops against us in the schedule.
18:21So you need to be more popular than Jimmy Savile.
18:23Johnny Friedlander is a global megastar,
18:25and he hasn't given an interview in five years.
18:26People will watch this.
18:28Book Jackie for the next one.
18:36Okay, fine.
18:39But I do my own research.
18:42And no fucking sofa.
18:45Give him whatever fucking furniture he wants, all right?
18:48We all know it's not about the sofa.
18:49I don't need this shit, Tony.
18:50You brought me here to produce drama, not a chat show.
18:53I brought you here to be the cleverest person in the building
18:56and terrify the rest of them into pulling their socks up.
18:58So far, so good.
18:59You're a lion in a petting zoo.
19:00But we need big game like Declan
19:02to convince the IBA to renew our contract.
19:05We lose the franchise, there won't be any drama to produce.
19:07You'll be on the next boat back.
19:11I didn't come here on a boat.
19:13Forgive me, semantics.
19:14I flew here on fucking Concord.
19:17I paid for the ticket.
19:20Worth every penny.
19:39It's gorgeous.
19:40It is.
19:41There are badger's heads off at the top there.
19:44And in spring, the bluebells flame between the beech trees
19:48like little Bunsen burners.
19:51Sorry, I sound like an estate agent.
19:53I just can't believe this is all ours.
19:54Well, only to the bottom of the wood.
19:56And then Rupert will have you for trespassing.
20:00Oh, thank you for walking me back.
20:03I'm really quite pissed.
20:08It's like Rupert's back home.
20:11Caitlin will be scaling the wall.
20:12Oh, Caitlin's all talk.
20:14She's sworn off and married until she's at least 35.
20:16I've got too much to do, she says.
20:19And you?
20:21With parents like yours, you must have big plans.
20:24Oh.
20:25I'd like to be a cook.
20:26Oh.
20:26Following recipes and writing things down,
20:28I don't know what to do myself, really.
20:31How old are you?
20:3219?
20:3220.
20:34Your whole life ahead of you.
20:37It's 1986.
20:39You can have whatever you want.
20:42So Cosmo tells us.
20:48Back into battle.
20:50How many children do you have?
20:52Two.
20:52Three, counting my husband.
20:55He works for Corineum too.
20:56Yeah, you didn't say.
20:57I talk about my husband as little as possible.
21:00He does enough of that himself.
21:02Oh.
21:13You can't catch me.
21:16Hello?
21:17What's going on?
21:34Oh, my God.
21:35There's fire.
21:36Oh, come on.
21:51Oh.
22:21Oh
22:33I'm sure darling your fields are on fire and
22:40It's the quickest way to get rid of the stubble after the harvest
22:45So you separated them on purpose, sorry
22:49Who the fuck are you and why are you here?
22:50What about the animals the rabbits and voles and yes, and the lovely ickle earwigs should I stop plowing my
22:56fields because it's cool to wood lice
22:57You're murdering them. Do you want me to give them a state funeral?
23:03What the hell?
23:05Called the fire brigade
23:09Get off my land before I call the police as well take that route back to its pigsty
23:16You are utterly
23:20A parent
23:22I was born an original sinner I was born from original sin
23:35And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
23:40There'd be a mountain of money
23:43Gentlemen, you ordered a full-bodied Argentine and the wine basil
23:47Yes, have you tried this one before?
23:49It's very very nice. I'm assuming we're on expenses
23:53Baz enjoys helping me spend corinneal money
23:55I do
23:57Oh
23:57Oh wonderful. Now I must say I loved your coverage of the royal wedding Charles
24:02Thank you, Baz. Andrew and Fergie are a modern-day fairy tale
24:06Well, you know what they say about Reg is
24:08Enjoy, chaps
24:10That's Tony's bro
24:11Half-brother
24:13He got a good half
24:14The mother had a scandalous fling with an Argentinian polo player
24:17Baz was the result
24:19Baz was always the favourite with daddy despite his dubious origins and poor Tony just never managed to catch out
24:27Does he hold a grudge?
24:28Tony, darling, he cultivates them like rare orchids
24:31Artists, Tony cultivates artists
24:34You're in safe hands
24:35We're so lucky to have such a strong leader at the helm
24:38Hello, Archie
24:39I'll have the liver and marmalade and radicchio salad
24:47And for you, sir?
24:47Steak
24:49Still mooing
24:52Oh
24:57Tony's son
24:58Working here for the summer holidays
25:00Teaching his children the value of money
25:02And tell me, is Cameron Cook as big a bitch as she seems?
25:07She is a genius
25:12So we ripped up the treatment, aged all the characters down 10 years and gave them some desire
25:18The men were all dickless
25:19So I said to Tony, our audience wants to fantasize about being banged over the sink while doing the dishes
25:26And four men went to mow
25:28Is now the top rated network drama of the year
25:31Looking good, boys
25:32I smell like Sunday lunch
25:33You look delicious
25:34Everybody, this is Lady Gosling, chairwoman of the Independent Broadcasting Authority
25:39Best behaviour, everyone
25:41And this is the Declan set
25:43Yes, very impressive
25:45You're rather impressive, aren't you?
25:48Where did Tony find you?
25:49New York
25:50Oh, August 26, 1970
25:53I marched with Gloria Steinem on the women's strike for equality
25:58My mom was on that march
26:01Don't iron while the strike is hot
26:04I think you'll be pleased with the efforts we've made to address your concerns
26:07I am not your Barbie doll
26:11And Declan O'Hara's presence on the Carinium team
26:13It just nudges that political dial leftwards
26:16And the board
26:17If you want to hang on to your franchise
26:19Then Carinium's board needs strengthening
26:21Well
26:22Have you thought of Rupert Campbell Black?
26:26Rupert's presence would give you legitimacy, Anthony
26:29I don't like taking people's franchises away
26:32But Rupert would give Carinium real sparkle
26:34I want to be convinced that I'm backing the right horse
26:39Tell me more about your mama
26:51I mean
26:53They don't tell you when you leave the BBC
26:55Yes, there's a lot more money in independent television
26:58But you're going up against 14 other regional companies just like you
27:02And then there's franchise renewal
27:04But that's what once every five years?
27:06Yeah, but the anxiety is constant
27:08Because some other company can just waltz in
27:10And take your franchise away
27:13We may not have had biscuits at the BBC
27:15But all we had to do was make television
27:18Do you think I made the wrong move?
27:20Oh no
27:21Granada have Coronation Street
27:22LWT has Blind Date
27:25Carinium now has you
27:27You're the golden goose, darling
27:28Take it back and let Tony fucking fatten you up
27:33The foie gras is divine here, by the way
28:02I wish I was coming too
28:03I've only been invited so I can drive Mummy and Daddy home and then drunk
28:06Oh, you've already met Rupert, it's not fair
28:08He's always Willy
28:09She's vile
28:10Oh, that journalist is so lucky to be shagging him
28:15What are you looking for?
28:16Oh, it's a bright blue mini
28:20Do you think it's going to happen again?
28:21What?
28:23Mummy
28:28Now we're here, I quite want to stay
28:30Taggy
28:32Oh, let's go
28:36What?
28:37You're wearing Taggy's dress
28:38Er, I wore this to Bono's Christmas party
28:41It was mine then too
28:42Oh, you're so touchy these days
28:44Look, we are going to go and meet the most wonderful people this afternoon
28:48I'm excited
28:52Leaving London's going to be good for her and Daddy, isn't it?
28:56It will be
28:58I'll be okay
29:00I promise
29:14I'll be okay
29:15Vernon will meet me when the POAC lands
29:20Keys to the MG will be in his hands
29:25Adjust to the driving and I'm on my way
29:29It's all on the right side of my T-go
29:32Oh, baby
29:33Stay down
29:34Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
29:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
29:42Come sing me life
29:44Come sing me my T-go, babe
29:48Well done, darling
29:49Great turnout again, I must say
29:51Good
29:53As I've told them to up the proportion of orange juice in the Bugsville
29:57Don't everyone plastered like last year
30:00So which one is you want for your board?
30:03Is it the electronics millionaire chap?
30:05Freddie Jones
30:06Don't be there with a touch
30:09I'll get him onto satellite technology
30:11You can ask her if she's made any friends in the area yet
30:13She's opened a boutique in Colchester
30:15So you should offer to pop in and buy something
30:20Hmm
30:21Is Miss Cook coming?
30:25Couldn't drag her away from the studio
30:28Declan goes live in a matter of days
30:31And here's our star
30:38You're even more beautiful in the flesh, Mrs. Horrell
30:40Thank you
30:41Declan
30:42Tony
30:42We're so glad you're here
30:44Everyone's dying to meet some new people
30:46We're all very bored of each other
30:48The Maud O'Hara
30:50My favourite actress
30:51Baz
30:52The better baddie
30:54If you say so
30:56So please you can make it, Basil
30:57Declan, let me show you after some board members
30:59Why don't we get you a drink?
31:02You were wonderful, Mrs. Lady Macbeth
31:17I'm not going to Lord B's party
31:20I turned Tony down, not my kind of crowd
31:21Is that the only reason?
31:25What other reason would there be?
31:29I want your opinion
31:30I'm not paid to have opinions
31:33Now I agreed to ditch the sofa, but why a desk?
31:35It's not a news anchor
31:37Perhaps he wants to hide behind it
31:39Huh
31:40It's not because he hasn't got good legs
31:42I've looked
31:47Steve, move the desk off the set for a minute
31:49Declan asked for the desk
31:49Yeah, I want to see it without the desk
31:51It's just we built the desk
31:52I'm not telling you to burn a damn thing
31:54I'm telling you to move it so I can see the set
31:55Can you do that?
31:56All right, keep your wig on
31:59That's funny
32:01You know what isn't funny?
32:03Looking for another fucking job
32:15It's better, see?
32:17It's better
32:28Oh, Rupert's arrived
32:34Really?
32:35That's Gerald
32:37Rupert's aide
32:38We go way back
32:41Where's your gorgeous Lord of Martha?
32:43He's not here
32:44Oh, damn it
32:44I have a pile of papers for him to sign
32:46And I can only pin him down at parties
32:47You can pin me down later if you like
32:49I can only pin him down at parties
32:53For all of all, thank you
32:56Actually I think I might just
33:00Lizzie
33:01Lizzie
33:03Um, I think the mum wants you
33:06He doesn't want me
33:08That's my husband
33:10That's all
33:31Thank you, darling.
33:32I feel like I should be reading the news.
33:35Fortunately, we have the wonderful James Verica to do that instead.
33:39Now, I won't keep you from your lunch,
33:42but I'm very glad to have you all here
33:43to celebrate Carinium's newest star with me.
33:47Ladies and gentlemen, Declan O'Hara.
33:55Declan joins Carinium, of course, on the crest of a wave.
33:58Wonderful ratings for our prestige drama Four Men Went to Mow.
34:03Who knew arable farming could be so sexy?
34:07And with revenue from our sales to America,
34:10we are confident that this is going to be our most successful autumn ever.
34:15Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:17Jumped over six full grown men.
34:26Oh, my God, it's him.
34:28So sorry, sorry.
34:30Didn't mean to steal your thunder.
34:31No fire engines with you today.
34:36Um, please, uh, go on to your speech.
34:39Oh, hello, darling.
34:41Hello.
34:42Um, but, Declan, you are undoubtedly the jewel in the Carinium crown.
34:48And I know everyone here joins me in welcoming you,
34:51your wife, Maud, and your daughter, Agatha,
34:54to our Cotchester family.
34:56Declan O'Hara, ladies and gentlemen.
35:06Good lunch, everybody.
35:08Good lunch.
35:16Is it loving in your eyes all the way?
35:23If I listen to your lies, would you say
35:30I am a man
35:33Look at all this gorgeous food
35:40People are always saying
35:42You should write a book, Mrs Jones
35:43You've led such a fascinating life
35:45How funny
35:46People are always telling me I should open a shop
35:51So where have you moved to?
35:53Witcher, Green Lawns
35:54It's a lovely house now
35:55We've added the extension and double glazed over
35:57Those draughty old windows
35:58Those Victorians must have worn a lot of jumpers
36:01Oh
36:02Very good
36:03But the only house I know around there is Bottom Hollow Court
36:06Green Lawns sounded so much prettier
36:08Especially now we've landscaped the gardens
36:10No tatties, Fred Fred
36:15Lord Baddingham is wooing my Fred Fred for his board
36:18I'm encouraging him to get more cultured
36:21We could do with a few more caring wives at Carina
36:24Please
36:25Please
36:26Call me Mousy
36:27I love my friends too
36:29Shall we go and find somewhere to perch?
36:31Let's
36:32Mousy
36:34Do move on to something soft, darling
36:35We don't want the hump ball again
36:37I do so enjoy your couple
36:39My husband tells me you're one of the most powerful men in England
36:47Yeah, I suppose I am
36:48And I expect to run out a few potatoes
36:53One potato, two potato, three
36:56Shall we find my booze?
37:01Hello, Declan
37:03I'll see you later
37:05We were all so surprised when you left the BBC for Carinium
37:09Do you miss your integrity?
37:10Or do you feel lighter without it?
37:13What was it the private eye called you?
37:15The first not quite a lady of Fleet Street, was it?
37:23Tag, have you seen your mother around?
37:26No, I don't
37:30I've met a few athletes in my time, they always get what they want
37:33And what do we want?
37:35To win
37:35Well, sadly, I'm not showjumping anymore
37:39Well, you're still athletic
37:43You're certainly too disturbing to be living across the valley
37:46Ah, there you are
37:53Finally
37:55Sureguy himself
37:57Mr. Cumberblog
37:59Getting to know the neighbours
38:01Huh
38:02Taggy, have you met Rupert?
38:05No, I think I'd remember
38:07Agatha, that's my daughter
38:09Taggy
38:11I hear you did a hatchet job on poor Stratton
38:14That I'd have loved to see
38:15Mmm
38:20She'd make a dent in Tony's whiskey collection
38:25Why not?
38:41Are you hiding again?
38:43No, they're just at the end of Das Rheingold
38:45I need you out there with me
38:47Bloody Rupert, I want to get this over with
38:49No, come here
38:54Can't be even going to him for legitimacy
38:57All he did for his status was to be born into him
38:59It's just social currency, darling
39:00It's the way the world works
39:02Public school, why go?
39:03Well, should we send Archie to a comprehensive
39:04and save on the school fees?
39:07He'll only make you feel inferior
39:09if you give him permission
39:10Now, deep breath
39:11Shoulders back
39:14Good boy
39:19Working the weekend?
39:20I hope Tony's paying you handsomely, Ginger
39:23Come on, dogs
39:26Took some digging
39:27but I found these
39:28I think you'll enjoy them
39:29It's a little Declan O'Hara insurance
39:33Ooh
39:57Peaceful is the country that is strongly earned
40:01Baddingham family motto
40:03Circa 1972
40:10Lord Pop Pop
40:12Tony's father
40:13made his millions in munitions
40:15during the war
40:15That's why Tony married
40:17Lady Monica of the Glen
40:19He had Daddy's cash
40:20Mon Mon had the house
40:22and what Tony wants
40:23most of all
40:24Class
40:28Why are the English so obsessed with class?
40:32Money
40:32Declan
40:33I was only asking Mr Cumberblog
40:35a question, look
40:37Rupert
40:38You've met Declan then?
40:39Anyone want another drink?
40:40Oh
40:41You found one?
40:42Hmm
40:44It's Deason's God
40:45She didn't want to choose it
40:48Ignore us
40:49Our families go back a long way
40:50Not that far
40:53Listen
40:54Can I have a word, Rupert
40:55In private?
40:56A business proposition
40:57Well, we're all friends here
40:59Nothing you can say to me
41:00that dear Morty shouldn't hear?
41:02I am not drinking sherry with the wives
41:05while the men have all the fun
41:06Oh, you want to be here
41:07when Tony asks me to be on his board
41:17Well, all right
41:20It's a lucrative game
41:21I thought you wanted
41:23It's so hard to take you seriously
41:25Tony, you just always sound like you're playing Monopoly
41:27Ha
41:29The answer's no
41:31Lady Gosling
41:32thinks I can give you some class
41:34help you keep your franchise
41:35but I'm not using my family name
41:37so you can buy yourself a bigger helicopter
41:42Tony, Paul Stratton's here
41:44Ah!
41:48Sorry we're late, everyone
41:50Bit of trouble getting out of bed, actually
41:52Yeah, you know what newlyweds are like
41:55Oh, mind yourself in those jeans
41:57You bend over your eyes will pop out
41:58And the new Mrs. Stratton
42:01Now, you are very welcome up
42:04Great, well done, Paul
42:08Do you know Declan O'Hara?
42:09Oh, yes, yeah
42:10You did us all a favour, actually, Mr. O'Hara
42:12Good to get everything out in the open
42:15We're insanely happy
42:16Aren't we, Paul?
42:17I'm a new man
42:22Excuse me
42:41I heard about you catching Campbell Black
42:43playing tennis in the Noddy
42:47That's enough to upset anyone
42:48Who knows about that?
42:51Well, the whole valley knows about the fire engines
42:56And I know who the mystery woman was now
42:59Don't I?
43:12I know who the mystery woman was now
43:15I know who the mystery woman was now
43:16I know who the mystery woman was now
43:24I know who the mystery woman was now
43:25I know who the mystery woman was now
43:27I know who the mystery woman was now
43:28I know who the mystery woman was now
43:29I know who the mystery woman was now
43:52You know you're dancing with the devil, don't you?
43:55Says the man who works for Thatcher.
43:58Let's hope he's got rhythm.
44:17Oh, incoming.
44:24You bastard!
44:26You've been shagging Sarah Stratton too.
44:34It was only tennis.
45:00Fuck!
45:01I dropped!
45:04Ouch!
45:21I'm going to ruin you.
45:36I'm so sorry.
45:42I wouldn't mind, but...
45:46That's my car.
45:57So it's Rupert now, is it?
45:59It was a conversation.
46:00I was conversing.
46:01You were all over him.
46:03Oh, now I can't even talk to a man without you assuming that I'm after him.
46:06Oh, grow up.
46:06Oh, God.
46:07I didn't ask to come here.
46:09You're the one that took the check and just sold us all out.
46:11Yeah, Maude.
46:12It's a horrible house and you live a terrible life.
46:15Oh, my God.
46:16They're all horses and dogs and houses and cars and who's got the longest fucking driveway?
46:22Oh, my God.
46:23The men are all desperate to ride anything as long as they're not married to it.
46:26The wives, Jesus, they haven't had an orgasm since pony club camp.
46:32Oh, fuck.
46:34Oh, fuck.
46:37Oh, fuck.
46:38That's an odd horse, is it?
46:43Everyone was looking at you.
46:45Huh?
46:47And did you like that?
46:50Oh, God.
46:51How much?
46:51How much did you like that?
46:54Tell me.
46:56No, not.
46:57I love it.
46:57I love it.
47:00Oh, God.
47:29Oh
47:35Oh
48:21Yes
48:23Yes
48:26No, it was
48:27A buffet table
48:31Of course, see you at 9am
48:34You have a good evening
48:35Prime Minister
48:42Come on dogs
48:44Daddy's in trouble again
49:03Mummy and Daddy are clearly back on track
49:05Was Rupert there?
49:07Yeah
49:09I think so
49:19As she gazed at the Ocaseats for their burnished bohemian beauty
49:23Entering this world of unbridled passion
49:26She worried
49:29Little did Dermot Ocasey know that he had brought his family into the wild
49:34Into a world of untamable beasts
49:37Giving in to their basest needs
49:47Hungry for sex
49:55Hungry for status
50:00Hungry for love
50:09Hungry for power
50:11You know, Campbell Black is finished after today
50:15Hungry for comfort
50:16Are you coming to bed?
50:18You had better be stuck while I'm naked
50:20And I'll get through that
50:24Good dog
50:25Good dog
50:26Slide out
50:34My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord
50:54Because as seductive as his predators might be
50:57One should always beware of being eaten
51:01Oh my eyes have seen the glory of the Lord
51:04Oh my eyes have seen the glory of the Lord
51:31Splashed all over the papers
51:32Paul Stratton's been shuffled to the back benches
51:34Oh dear, have you lost your job?
51:37No, not at all
51:38No, no, Mrs. Thatcher's given me a promotion
51:41I'm her new minister for sport
51:43So, thank you
51:46I couldn't have done it without you
51:49You had to come all this way to tell me that
51:51I want you to keep your grubby little nose out of my affairs
51:58Maggie will see through you soon enough
52:00You overprivileged cunt
52:07I have to try harder than that if you want to beat me, Lord Battingham
52:19Game on
52:43You overprivileged cunt
53:00You overprivileged cunt
53:08You
Comments