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00:00:00Caleb isn't answering his phone.
00:00:01Lacrosse practice ended an hour ago.
00:00:03Could you just find him?
00:00:05We're waiting for you for dinner.
00:00:07Yeah.
00:00:08Fine.
00:00:09I'll look for him.
00:00:10Catherine can't reach her precious son,
00:00:12and somehow that's my problem.
00:00:14Our parents have been inseparable since childhood.
00:00:17Catherine is my godmother.
00:00:18They raised us side by side,
00:00:20convinced we'd grow up as close as they were.
00:00:23They never noticed when it all went wrong.
00:00:25Jade Richards perches on the edge of the sink,
00:00:27and Caleb, right there,
00:00:30stands between her thighs in nothing but a towel
00:00:32that hangs dangerously low on his hips.
00:00:34Caleb, someone could walk in.
00:00:37I don't give a fuck.
00:00:38I should leave.
00:00:39I should definitely, absolutely leave.
00:00:42Instead, I stand there like an idiot,
00:00:44heat flooding through my body in waves.
00:00:46This is disgusting.
00:00:47He is disgusting.
00:00:49You hate him.
00:00:50I slam the door,
00:00:52forcing my expression into irritation
00:00:54rather than the hot shame crawling up my throat.
00:00:56Your mother's been calling you for an hour, asshole!
00:01:00Our parents need us both at my house for dinner tonight.
00:01:03Apparently it's something important.
00:01:05I should go.
00:01:06Coach will kill me if I'm late.
00:01:09You could have texted.
00:01:11Catherine asked me to find you.
00:01:13I found you.
00:01:15Message delivered.
00:01:16Is that what we're calling it?
00:01:18Because it looked a lot like you were watching.
00:01:21Long enough to be disgusted.
00:01:23Disgusted, right?
00:01:24I'm leaving.
00:01:26Don't be late for dinner.
00:01:27I'll drive you home.
00:01:29I have my bike.
00:01:30Still not in the mood to sit on some used condoms in your car.
00:01:36Suit yourself, princess.
00:01:39Dinner passes in a blur of small talk and forced smiles.
00:01:43But something feels different tonight.
00:01:45Catherine keeps touching my father's arm,
00:01:47not the comforting pats of a grieving friend.
00:01:50They've been spending so much time together since mom died,
00:01:53since Caleb's father vanished with every dollar the Thorntons had.
00:01:56Kids, Catherine and I actually have something to tell you.
00:02:01So we've decided to get married.
00:02:03No, no way.
00:02:05He deserves happiness and Catherine is wonderful,
00:02:07but it's only been six months since my mother died.
00:02:10We found a new house.
00:02:12Neutral territory for everyone.
00:02:16The kids' rooms are on the same floor.
00:02:19And Serena, your room connects to Caleb's through a Jack and Jill bathroom.
00:02:23Isn't it cool?
00:02:26Come on, you guys.
00:02:28It will be nice.
00:02:29My lifelong secret crush soon to become my stepbrother.
00:02:33Yeah, dad, really fucking nice.
00:02:36I set the boxes down on the unfamiliar floor,
00:02:39surveying this room that was supposed to be mine.
00:02:43Neutral territory, my father called it.
00:02:45A fresh start.
00:02:47The walls are painted a careful beige that commits to nothing.
00:02:51Now I'm here,
00:02:52in this house that holds no memories of my mother.
00:02:57Careful!
00:02:57It's just your crap.
00:03:00I'm taking a shower.
00:03:02Try not to miss me too much.
00:03:05This is what I am now.
00:03:06Sharing walls with my worst school enemy.
00:03:10But there was a time before all that.
00:03:12You're doing it wrong.
00:03:13Here.
00:03:15Like this.
00:03:17Stop.
00:03:19Stop romanticizing.
00:03:23Shit, my tampons!
00:03:24I left them on the bathroom counter this morning.
00:03:27If I'm fast enough...
00:03:34Wanted a preview of your new stepbrother, pervert?
00:03:38That's fucked up, even for you.
00:03:40I just left something on the counter.
00:03:42Not everything is about you and your abs, asshole!
00:03:45Keep telling yourself that.
00:03:50I'm not done talking.
00:03:52Well, I'm done listening.
00:03:54Let go of me, Caleb!
00:03:56Or what?
00:03:57Gonna scream, run to daddy?
00:04:01God, you're pathetic!
00:04:03Still crying over mommy?
00:04:05It's been six months, Serena.
00:04:08The rest of us have moved on.
00:04:10You are exactly like your shitty father!
00:04:13Say that again.
00:04:13I dare you.
00:04:15You heard me.
00:04:16You're just like him.
00:04:17Like Simon.
00:04:19A bully who only feels big when he's making someone else feel small.
00:04:23Keep his fucking name out of your mouth before I...
00:04:25Before you what?
00:04:26Hit me!
00:04:28Prove my point!
00:04:29Such a shame your mother won't see you graduate.
00:04:32But hey, your dad moved on quickly.
00:04:34Guess she wasn't that hard to forget.
00:04:37Don't talk about my mother!
00:04:38Why not?
00:04:40Scared you're just as forgettable as she is?
00:04:44Careful, princess.
00:04:45Do you really want to start something you can't finish?
00:04:48You know what I think?
00:04:49I think you're terrified that one day you'll be gone and no one will even notice.
00:04:53That you'll just be another ghost no one bothers to remember.
00:04:56No one will ever truly love someone as pathetic as you.
00:05:00And deep down you know it's true.
00:05:08Serena.
00:05:09Open the fucking door!
00:05:13You just signed your death sentence, princess.
00:05:16You hear me?
00:05:17From this moment on, your life is going to be a living hell.
00:05:20There's a long silence before his footsteps retreat and I hear his bedroom door slams.
00:05:26Minutes pass.
00:05:27Maybe five.
00:05:29Maybe ten.
00:05:30Then I sink to the floor, back against my bed, and wrap my arms around my knees.
00:05:35I hate him.
00:05:36I hate that I wounded him.
00:05:38I hate that I noticed.
00:05:40I know him better now than I ever wanted to.
00:05:44He runs at six.
00:05:45I've memorized the particular weight of his footsteps on the stairs.
00:05:49Showers at 640.
00:05:51And the pipes in my bathroom sing a specific note when the water pressure changes.
00:05:56Tuesday.
00:05:57My shampoo mysteriously turned my hair traffic cone orange.
00:06:01Wednesday.
00:06:02Every single bra I own disappeared.
00:06:05Reappearing frozen in blocks of ice in the freezer.
00:06:08Thursday.
00:06:09My laptop password changed itself to Daddy Issues 123.
00:06:13At 3.14 in the afternoon, I'm in the kitchen.
00:06:16He doesn't get home until 4.30 on Thursdays.
00:06:19I'm halfway through making the world's saddest sandwich when the front door opens an hour
00:06:24earlier than his schedule allows.
00:06:26My entire body goes on high alert.
00:06:28Skin prickling.
00:06:29Pulse jackknifing.
00:06:31Don't turn around.
00:06:32Don't give him the satisfaction.
00:06:35Careful.
00:06:36Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.
00:06:38His chest presses more firmly against my back as he reaches higher, and the contact sends
00:06:43electricity shooting down my spine, pooling low and hot in my belly.
00:06:47Something wrong, princess?
00:06:49I just wanted to grab my protein bar.
00:06:52That'll be Jade.
00:06:57Try not to listen too hard, sis.
00:07:00The word is a weapon.
00:07:01A reminder.
00:07:02A fucking power play that makes me want to throw the knife at his head.
00:07:06They'll have a drink, and then she'll leave.
00:07:09That's how these things work.
00:07:11Hot water.
00:07:12Locked door.
00:07:13The white noise of falling water drowning out everything else.
00:07:17Except...
00:07:19Jade's voice cuts through the wall like it's made of tissue paper.
00:07:23High and desperate and absolutely not faking it.
00:07:26Her moans build in pitch and urgency, and I hear the creak of bed springs.
00:07:30The thump of a headboard against a wall.
00:07:33Heat coils between my thighs, insistent and demanding.
00:07:36My body betrays me completely.
00:07:38Nipples tightening.
00:07:39Breath coming shorter.
00:07:40And I hate myself for the way my hand drifts down my stomach.
00:07:44I've never touched myself like this before.
00:07:46What would it feel like?
00:07:47His hands instead of water.
00:07:49His weight pressing me against the tile.
00:07:52His voice in my ear.
00:07:53Low and commanding.
00:07:55Take it.
00:07:57Take everything I give you.
00:07:59The pressure builds impossibly fast.
00:08:01My free hand bracing against the tile as my legs shake.
00:08:04When I come, it's violent.
00:08:06Earth shattering.
00:08:07The silence hits me first.
00:08:09No more sounds from his room.
00:08:11Nothing.
00:08:11Oh God.
00:08:12Oh fuck.
00:08:13Could they hear?
00:08:14I stumble toward the door, needing to confirm that barrier between my humiliation and reality.
00:08:19The door to his room is cracked open, but I checked it before I got in the shower.
00:08:23I'm certain I did.
00:08:24It was closed.
00:08:26Firmly.
00:08:26Completely closed.
00:08:28My heart stops.
00:08:29Did he open it?
00:08:31Control is an illusion I've been selling myself for 18 years.
00:08:35This is who I am.
00:08:36The girl who prepares.
00:08:37The girl who controls what she can.
00:08:40The girl with the five-year plan.
00:08:42And the girl who definitely doesn't spend every waking moment thinking about her stepbrother's
00:08:46hands.
00:08:47Lies.
00:08:48All lies.
00:08:49Just once more.
00:08:50Then you'll study.
00:08:52Then you'll be normal.
00:08:53Having fun?
00:08:58Going somewhere?
00:09:01Let go of me!
00:09:02Sit the fuck down, Serena.
00:09:05Fuck you!
00:09:05You done?
00:09:09So, who's the lucky bastard?
00:09:11What?
00:09:12What are you talking about?
00:09:14Don't play dumb.
00:09:15It's not cute.
00:09:16You were clearly getting yourself off to someone.
00:09:19So, who is it?
00:09:20Some SAT tutor with a hard-on for the teacher's pets?
00:09:24One of those debate nerds who follows you around like you're made of cocaine?
00:09:28I wasn't!
00:09:29Your face is the color of a fucking tomato and your breathing's all fucked up.
00:09:34So, who's got perfect little Serena all worked up?
00:09:37Must be someone truly pathetic.
00:09:39Get out of my room!
00:09:41Is it that guy from Calc?
00:09:43The one with the glasses who stares at you when you're doing board work?
00:09:46No, wait.
00:09:47You'd never go for someone that obvious.
00:09:50Too desperate.
00:09:51I said get out!
00:09:52Or maybe someone inappropriate.
00:09:55Someone you know you shouldn't want.
00:09:58Serena, who were you thinking about?
00:10:01No one!
00:10:01I wasn't!
00:10:02I was just...
00:10:03It's none of your fucking business!
00:10:06You're lying.
00:10:07I can always tell when you're lying.
00:10:08Your voice goes up at the end, your eyes dart to the left.
00:10:11And right now, you look fucking terrified.
00:10:13Which means whoever you were thinking about is someone you really don't want me to know about.
00:10:19You were thinking about me, weren't you?
00:10:21That's disgusting!
00:10:24Yeah?
00:10:24Then why is your pulse going crazy right here?
00:10:28Your body's a fucking traitor.
00:10:30You're insane!
00:10:31Then why can't you look at me?
00:10:34Why do you look like you're about to either cry or cum?
00:10:37Because you're in my face!
00:10:39What were you imagining?
00:10:40My hands on you?
00:10:42Inside you?
00:10:43My mouth on your neck?
00:10:45Or your legs?
00:10:49Were you imagining how I'd touch you?
00:10:51Hard and rough until you forget your own name.
00:10:54Or maybe slow and deep until you're begging me to let you cum.
00:10:58But here's the thing, princess.
00:11:00You're not even worth the effort it would take to undress you.
00:11:06You're fucking disgusting!
00:11:09You think I want any part of that?
00:11:11Fix yourself!
00:11:13You look like a cheap whore.
00:11:15Dinner's in ten.
00:11:17Try to act like a normal fucking person.
00:11:19I don't move for a long time.
00:11:22Can't move.
00:11:23My thigh still burns where he touched it.
00:11:25I stand there trying to breathe around the tightness in my chest.
00:11:29Six weeks of college, and I've learned that hope is just disappointment wearing a pretty dress.
00:11:35I had acceptances from everywhere.
00:11:37Places with actual seasons and zero Caleb Thorntons per square mile.
00:11:41But no, dad pulled the family needs to stick together card.
00:11:45I think it's actually really nice that you and Caleb ended up here together.
00:11:49After everything, it just feels right.
00:11:52Yeah.
00:11:53Um, totally.
00:11:55Everyone's coming over soon.
00:11:56The picnic's about to start.
00:11:58The bastard had applied after me.
00:12:01After.
00:12:02Found out where I was going and followed like some kind of stalker.
00:12:05Even won grants and scholarships, including the one from his high school presidency.
00:12:10My fresh start rotted before it even began.
00:12:12The picnic is about to start.
00:12:14I'm about to prepare a fruit plate when I hear this voice.
00:12:16That specific frequency of a woman's giggle that makes my eye twitch.
00:12:21Jade stands at the garden gate.
00:12:23Her hand threaded through Caleb's arm.
00:12:25Her sundress clings to curves I remember from the locker room.
00:12:28Curves I heard him worship in his bedroom.
00:12:31While my body betrayed every principle I claimed to hold.
00:12:34Oh, Caleb, you didn't mention you were bringing someone.
00:12:38Jade, sweetheart, welcome.
00:12:41Thanks, Mrs. Lacken.
00:12:43Everything looks amazing.
00:12:45Did you make all this yourself?
00:12:47Most of it.
00:12:49Serena helped with the fruit platters.
00:12:51How domestic.
00:12:53Serena, so good at this stuff.
00:12:55The compliment lands like a slap wrapped in ribbons.
00:12:58This stuff.
00:12:59Like I'm some 1950s housewife in training while she's out here being decorative and touchable
00:13:04and everything I'm not.
00:13:05We're so proud of both of them.
00:13:07Adjusting to college life so beautifully.
00:13:12Serena's doing wonderfully.
00:13:14Dean's list material.
00:13:15Her advisor says,
00:13:17Well, she has to excel at something.
00:13:19Competition's tough when you can't coast on personality.
00:13:22Some of us prefer substance over charm.
00:13:25Kids.
00:13:27Babe, you two are hilarious.
00:13:29It's like watching real siblings bicker.
00:13:32Real siblings.
00:13:33The words land like ice water down my spine.
00:13:36We end up on the same picnic blanket because the universe has a sick sense of humor.
00:13:41Jade chatters about rush week and themed parties and other things that would require me to have a soul.
00:13:46She doesn't know him.
00:13:47Doesn't know he checks the locks three times before bed.
00:13:50Doesn't know he still has nightmares about his father.
00:13:53Doesn't know he reads Bukowski when he thinks no one's watching.
00:13:56After the neighbors evacuate and our parents disappear inside with wine that'll make them nostalgic and weepy,
00:14:01I escaped to the kitchen.
00:14:03Jade left an hour ago.
00:14:05Something about a sorority emergency that sounded suspiciously like,
00:14:09I'm bored and these people are old.
00:14:11Thought you'd hide in here all night.
00:14:15I'm cleaning up.
00:14:16Some of us contribute.
00:14:18Is that what you call sulking in corners and shooting death glares at my girlfriend?
00:14:22She's not your girlfriend.
00:14:23She's a prop.
00:14:25An accessory.
00:14:27This week's validation fix.
00:14:30Jealous much?
00:14:31I'd rather be jealous of a yeast infection.
00:14:34Strong words.
00:14:36You know what I think?
00:14:38I think you can't stand watching me with her.
00:14:40I think it eats you alive.
00:14:43You followed me here.
00:14:44You could have gone anywhere.
00:14:48But you chose here.
00:14:49Maybe I just like the school.
00:14:51Maybe you're so terrified of being alone with yourself that you need me around to torture.
00:14:56Watch your fucking mouth, princess.
00:14:59You know what?
00:15:00I feel sorry for you.
00:15:01I'm serious.
00:15:02I feel sorry for the boy whose father beat him and then abandoned him.
00:15:05The boy's so desperate for approval, he'll fuck girls who don't even know his middle name.
00:15:09Because it's easier than admitting no one's ever actually loved him for who he is.
00:15:16Jade doesn't see you, Caleb.
00:15:19None of them do.
00:15:20They see the smile and the body and the charm.
00:15:23Shut the fuck up!
00:15:24And that works for you because if they saw the real you,
00:15:28the broken, desperate, terrified little boy under all that armor, they'd run!
00:15:34I'm not jealous of Jade.
00:15:35I pity her.
00:15:37And I pity you.
00:15:38The rest of the dishes are all yours.
00:15:50The library smells like anxiety and desperation with hints of stale Red Bull.
00:15:55Basically the official cologne of higher education.
00:15:58Mia sits next to me, allegedly writing her sociology paper but actually deep-stalking her TA's Instagram.
00:16:04I know because she keeps making these tiny gasping sounds every time she scrolls past a shirtless beach photo.
00:16:10Six weeks into freshman year, and Mia is the closest thing I've ever had to a real friend.
00:16:15In high school, I couldn't afford friends.
00:16:17He has a dog.
00:16:19A golden retriever named Pancake.
00:16:22Mia.
00:16:22Focus.
00:16:24I am focused.
00:16:26Focused on how that man fills out a wetsuit.
00:16:31Ow, what?
00:16:32Look over there.
00:16:33Look, but don't make it obvious.
00:16:35Mia, if this is another guy you think has protagonist energy...
00:16:39Serena, shut up and look!
00:16:41Lucas Bennett is walking toward us, and apparently puberty decided to work overtime on him.
00:16:46The last time I saw Lucas, he was Caleb's perpetual shadow.
00:16:49Always there, but never quite there.
00:16:52Is this seat taken?
00:16:56Serena Lacken.
00:16:57I thought that was you.
00:16:59How long has it been?
00:17:01A while.
00:17:02Since high school, at least.
00:17:05Too long?
00:17:06I heard you were here.
00:17:08Pre-law, right?
00:17:09Of course you are.
00:17:10You were always terrifyingly smart.
00:17:15Pre-med for me.
00:17:17Turns out all those years of patching up lacrosse injuries gave me a taste for it.
00:17:22You patched up lacrosse injuries?
00:17:24I thought you were one of the ones causing them.
00:17:27Fair point.
00:17:28Maybe I was just atoning for my sins.
00:17:31We all have things we wish we'd done differently back then.
00:17:34I remember you from honors English.
00:17:36You demolished everyone in that Fitzgerald debate.
00:17:39I was genuinely scared of you.
00:17:41Fear is an appropriate response to literary analysis.
00:17:45The cafe by the Humanities Building is acceptable.
00:17:49Everything else tastes like it was brewed during the Reagan administration.
00:17:52A coffee snob.
00:17:54I respect that.
00:17:56Strong opinions about beverages are a green flag.
00:17:59Would you look at the time I have that thing?
00:18:03The urgent thing.
00:18:04With the people.
00:18:06At the place.
00:18:08Serena, text me everything.
00:18:13So, are you going to the Halloween party next Friday?
00:18:16The big one at Sigma Chi.
00:18:18Everyone goes.
00:18:20Parties aren't really my thing.
00:18:21That's exactly why you should come.
00:18:24College is about new experiences, right?
00:18:26Breaking out of old patterns.
00:18:29Three tables away, I feel the weight of Caleb's gaze like fingertips trailing down my spine.
00:18:34His eyes are locked on me with an intensity that makes my stomach flip.
00:18:38Tell me more about this party.
00:18:40What exactly makes it so unmissable?
00:18:42It's legendary, honestly.
00:18:44The costumes get competitive.
00:18:46The music is actually decent.
00:18:48Plus, I hear the punch is strong enough to make even pre-law students have fun.
00:18:53Bold assumption that I don't already know how to have fun.
00:18:56Prove me wrong, then.
00:18:58Come to the party.
00:18:59Let me buy you a drink.
00:19:01You're very confident for someone who hasn't seen me in years.
00:19:05Some things are worth being confident about.
00:19:07I'll think about it.
00:19:09I'm looking at Caleb as he stands abruptly.
00:19:11He doesn't pack up his things.
00:19:12Doesn't grab the broken pen.
00:19:14Just turns and walks out.
00:19:16Movement's sharp with barely controlled violence.
00:19:18And my pulse is racing for entirely the wrong reason.
00:19:22The cruelest lies are the ones we tell ourselves about what we want.
00:19:26He texted again while I was in the shower.
00:19:28Three messages in 20 minutes.
00:19:30He's sweet.
00:19:31Persistent in a way that feels like warmth instead of pressure.
00:19:35Normal in a way I've forgotten people can be.
00:19:37This is good.
00:19:38Lucas is good.
00:19:39Lucas is exactly what you need.
00:19:41Caleb without the emotional terrorism.
00:19:43This is what normal feels like.
00:19:45This is what I deserve.
00:19:47My eyes still on my phone.
00:19:48Still composing a reply that sounds flirty without trying too hard.
00:19:52Well, fuck me sideways.
00:19:55That's a face I've never seen before.
00:19:57Or texting lover boy with that dopey-ass smile?
00:20:02Pathetic doesn't even begin to cover it, princess.
00:20:05What the fuck are you doing in my room?
00:20:07Get out!
00:20:08These are tragic.
00:20:10Serena truly, like, seek help levels of unsexy.
00:20:14I said get out!
00:20:16Are you wearing these to the party?
00:20:19Please say yes.
00:20:20I need to see Lucas' face when he discovers what's underneath.
00:20:26Give those back!
00:20:27Granny panties with fruit on them.
00:20:30Bold strategy for a girl trying to lose her V-card.
00:20:33I'm not trying to.
00:20:34Oh, you're definitely trying.
00:20:37That dumb smile you just walked in with?
00:20:39The sad little hair flip in the library?
00:20:42Touching his arm like you learned flirting from a WikiHow article?
00:20:46Get off my bed!
00:20:47Lucas Bennett.
00:20:49That's your big play?
00:20:50You really think that Golden Retrober boy is interested in you?
00:20:53Unlike some people, Lucas is actually capable of basic human decency.
00:20:58Lucas is capable of fucking anything with a pulse, sure.
00:21:02But interested?
00:21:04Serena.
00:21:05Sweetheart.
00:21:06Look at yourself.
00:21:07You used to be friends with him.
00:21:09What happened?
00:21:10People grow apart.
00:21:12It happens.
00:21:14That's not an answer.
00:21:15It's the only one you're getting.
00:21:18Ancient history isn't really my thing.
00:21:20But we're not talking about me.
00:21:23We're talking about you, and you're going to show up in some tragic little costume.
00:21:27And follow him around all night like a stray dog.
00:21:30And he's going to ditch you the second someone hotter walks by.
00:21:33You don't know anything about-
00:21:35I know you.
00:21:36Nineteen years old and never been fucked.
00:21:38You think that's an accident?
00:21:40You think guys just haven't noticed you?
00:21:43They've noticed.
00:21:44They're just not interested.
00:21:47There's nothing there to want.
00:21:48Lucas asked me.
00:21:50Not the other way around.
00:21:52Lucas is working an angle.
00:21:54Probably a bet with his frat brothers.
00:21:56Go ahead.
00:21:57Prove them right.
00:21:59Make a fool of yourself in front of the whole school.
00:22:01I'd rather humiliate myself in front of everyone than spend another second with you.
00:22:06Then we're both getting what we want.
00:22:07Wear the ugly underwear.
00:22:09It'll match the rest of you.
00:22:13The door clicks shut behind him, and I don't move for a long time.
00:22:16My fingers find the strawberry underwear crumpled on the carpet, and I clutch them against my chest like armor.
00:22:22The cotton is warm from his hands, and I despise that I notice.
00:22:26What was that look?
00:22:28Right before he left, his expression shifted into territory I didn't recognize.
00:22:33Not cruel.
00:22:34Not mocking.
00:22:35Almost desperate.
00:22:36Get out of my head, Thornton.
00:22:37Get out.
00:22:38I look at myself in the mirror.
00:22:40The black bodysuit clings to curves I usually hide beneath hoodies and oversized sweaters.
00:22:46Holy fuck, Serena Lackham!
00:22:48Where have you been hiding that body?
00:22:50Lucas is going to swallow his own tongue when he sees you.
00:22:54Hell, I might switch teams.
00:22:56What if he doesn't like me?
00:22:58Oh, he'll like you.
00:22:59That boy has been eye-fucking you through every study session.
00:23:04And maybe tonight, he finally gets to do it for real.
00:23:08Okay, let's go before I change my mind.
00:23:12The party is chaos incarnate.
00:23:14Music pounds through the walls, bass so heavy the floor vibrates beneath my heels.
00:23:19Stay close!
00:23:20Lucas said he'd be wearing a skeleton mask.
00:23:23Great.
00:23:24Super helpful.
00:23:25I've already counted four skeleton masks in my immediate vicinity.
00:23:29Mia's sorority sisters descend like perfectly coordinated vultures,
00:23:33dragging her toward something called the situation on the dance floor.
00:23:37I park myself near the makeshift bar, draining my cup.
00:23:41The alcohol burns away the edges of my anxiety,
00:23:43making everything softer, warmer, more possible.
00:23:47That's when I see him.
00:23:49Lucas.
00:23:50Tall frame and broad shoulders I recognize.
00:23:53White mask tilted toward me from across the room.
00:23:56My pulse quickens and I tell myself it's the alcohol.
00:23:59He doesn't wave or call out.
00:24:01He simply extends one hand in my direction, palm up, waiting.
00:24:05Probably wants to see if the pre-law princess is as frigid as everyone says.
00:24:09Fine.
00:24:09Let him see.
00:24:11Let him tell everyone afterward.
00:24:12At least I won't be untouched anymore.
00:24:14Won't be the pathetic virgin Caleb mocks at every opportunity.
00:24:18The silence feels intentional.
00:24:20Part of the costume.
00:24:21Part of the game.
00:24:22Lucas?
00:24:23He doesn't answer.
00:24:25His hands find my waist instead,
00:24:27thumbs tracing slow circles against my hip bones.
00:24:30And I decide that silence is answer enough.
00:24:33Oh, we're really committing to the role.
00:24:35I don't want this to be special.
00:24:36I don't want tender words or meaningful glances.
00:24:39I just want it done.
00:24:41Lucas' hands are rougher than I expected,
00:24:44gripping my waist like he's afraid I'll disappear.
00:24:46Fuck.
00:24:47Okay.
00:24:48I kinda like aggressive Lucas.
00:24:50Can you at least lift the mask?
00:24:54I wanna kiss you.
00:24:55He pauses.
00:24:57Then slowly, he pushes the mask up just enough to expose his mouth.
00:25:01In the darkness, I can't make out features.
00:25:03Just the outline of lips that crash into mine with bruising force.
00:25:08God, who knew Lucas had this in him?
00:25:15His fingers finally slide between my thighs.
00:25:18When he pushes finger inside me without warning,
00:25:20I nearly come off the bed.
00:25:22The stretch burns, but the pleasure overwhelms it.
00:25:24Especially when his thumb finds my clit and circles with practiced precision.
00:25:29My mind drifts as sensation builds.
00:25:31What if it was him?
00:25:32I imagine Caleb's hands instead of Lucas's.
00:25:35Caleb's body pressing me into the mattress.
00:25:38Caleb's breath hot against my throat.
00:25:40The fantasy builds pressure low in my belly,
00:25:43spiraling toward a release that hovers just out of reach.
00:25:46My fingers dig into shoulders that belong to one man
00:25:49while my mind belongs entirely to another.
00:25:52My orgasm hits like a freight train.
00:25:54Completely unexpected.
00:25:56It's over.
00:25:57It's done.
00:25:58You're not a virgin anymore.
00:26:01The girl in the mirror looks exactly as hollow as I feel.
00:26:05Congratulations, Serena.
00:26:06You're officially as pathetic as Caleb always said.
00:26:09When I finally emerge, I nearly collide with a familiar chest.
00:26:12There you are.
00:26:14I've been looking everywhere for you.
00:26:18Some dickhead in the same mask spilled his entire drink on me.
00:26:22Had to go change.
00:26:23Did you just get here?
00:26:25You look amazing, by the way.
00:26:27The floor tilts beneath me.
00:26:28He's been down here looking for me.
00:26:30Which means the man in that bedroom.
00:26:32That wasn't Lucas at all.
00:26:35I call her princess because that's what she is.
00:26:39A girl who's never had to fight for anything.
00:26:41And I've been crawling and fighting my whole fucking life.
00:26:45The ceiling above my bed holds no answers.
00:26:48But I stare at it anyway.
00:26:50Counting the minutes by the soft sounds filtering through the bathroom wall.
00:26:54A drawer opening.
00:26:55Water running.
00:26:57The whisper of fabric against skin.
00:26:59You're sick.
00:27:00Twisted beyond repair.
00:27:01I remember the first time I called her princess.
00:27:04We were 12.
00:27:06She tried to skip a stone.
00:27:08Failed spectacularly.
00:27:10Her laugh bounced across the water.
00:27:12This mix of embarrassment and joy that hit me right in the chest.
00:27:16You're doing it wrong.
00:27:18Here.
00:27:19Like this.
00:27:21See?
00:27:22Perfect technique for a perfect princess.
00:27:24Thanks, Caleb.
00:27:26Two words.
00:27:27That's all it took.
00:27:28I was done for.
00:27:30Then I went home.
00:27:32That was the summer my father discovered new hobbies.
00:27:35I learned to sleep with my eyes half open.
00:27:37To flinch at footsteps.
00:27:39To disappear into walls.
00:27:41And suddenly, Serena's perfection stopped being something beautiful.
00:27:45It became a mirror.
00:27:46If her life is so perfect, let me be the one in perfection.
00:27:55I wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her until she broke.
00:27:59Until she screamed.
00:28:00And I wanted to hold her until she felt safe enough to fall apart.
00:28:04Pick a lane, asshole.
00:28:06You can't destroy someone and save them at the same time.
00:28:09Because Serena isn't just in my head.
00:28:12She's carved into my bones.
00:28:13My phone buzzes on the nightstand.
00:28:16The racing circuit.
00:28:18The debt follows me like a second shadow.
00:28:21My father's legacy.
00:28:22I wonder how much longer I can keep buried the obsession that drives me to follow her.
00:28:27Like a satellite caught in her gravitational pull.
00:28:31I've been choking on jealousy for the past 20 minutes.
00:28:34It was just one of those moments, you know?
00:28:39Look at me like that.
00:28:41Just once.
00:28:42But she never will.
00:28:44You have the most beautiful smile.
00:28:47Lucas leans in closer.
00:28:49Whispering something that makes her cheeks go pink.
00:28:51And I'm gripping my hands so hard my knuckles turn white.
00:28:54She doesn't pull away.
00:28:56Doesn't stiffen.
00:28:57Just tilts her head and listens like he's reciting fucking words.
00:29:00Shakespeare.
00:29:00I want to be at his place.
00:29:02I shove back from the table and walk out before I do something I can't take back.
00:29:07I try the gym first.
00:29:0945 minutes of punishing my muscles until they scream.
00:29:12But every time I close my eyes between sets, I see her hand on his arm.
00:29:17Her smile.
00:29:18The way she leaned toward him like he was magnetic north.
00:29:21I last three hours.
00:29:23Three hours of telling myself I don't care who she talks to.
00:29:26But my feet carry me down the hallway.
00:29:28Her bedroom door is unlocked.
00:29:30The shower runs in the bathroom and I should leave.
00:29:32She left her underwear on the bed.
00:29:35Tiny strawberries printed across the fabric like some kind of joke.
00:29:38A laugh builded in my chest.
00:29:40But it dies before it reaches my throat.
00:29:42The water shuts off.
00:29:44The door opens and...
00:29:47Jesus fucking Christ.
00:29:49She was wearing nothing but a towel that's trying its best but failing spectacularly.
00:29:54Water drops race down her collarbone.
00:29:56Her hair is plastered to her shoulders.
00:29:59Darker with moisture.
00:30:00And the way that terrycloth clings to every curve she usually hides under hoodies makes my brain short-circuit.
00:30:06This is what she's been keeping from me.
00:30:09She doesn't speak.
00:30:10Her body tells me everything.
00:30:12The way she arches into my touch.
00:30:14The way her breath hitches when my thumb brushes her.
00:30:17She moves against me with increasing desperation.
00:30:21Her fingers in my chest and she lowers her mouth to me.
00:30:24Her fingers find my shoulders when she climbs onto my lap, straddling me and the towel rides up her thighs.
00:30:30Through my jeans, I can feel the heat of her and my hands find her waist like they've been waiting
00:30:34their whole existence for this moment.
00:30:38I wake up so hard it hurts.
00:30:40Her phantom warmth still pressed against my skin.
00:30:44Pathetic.
00:30:45You're absolutely pathetic.
00:30:47She moves against me with increasing desperation.
00:30:50Her fingers in my chest and she lowers her mouth to me.
00:30:54Her phone sits on the counter, screen glowing with an unread message.
00:30:58I should walk away, but I've never been decent where Serena is concerned.
00:31:01The screen illuminates at my touch and my ex-best friend's name stares back at me.
00:31:05Lucas.
00:31:07My blood turns to lead in my veins.
00:31:10The racing circuit.
00:31:11Lucas is taking her to the fucking racing circuit where I'll be competing to pay off another installment of my
00:31:16father's debt.
00:31:18Fuck.
00:31:18My two worlds are about to collide and there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it.
00:31:26Three more races after tonight and you're clear, kid.
00:31:30How does that feel?
00:31:32Like I might actually sleep again.
00:31:33Two years since I stood in our kitchen watching my mother cry over bills my father left behind.
00:31:39When the helmet goes on, I'm supposed to stop being Caleb Thornton.
00:31:43Out here, I'm Shane Lander.
00:31:4523, no family drama, just a guy who rides fast and pays his debts on time.
00:31:51You've earned it, man.
00:31:55Fastest rider I've ever let borrow my name.
00:31:57The engine beneath me roars to life, vibrating through my thighs, my chest, my teeth.
00:32:03Despite everything, freedom floods through my veins.
00:32:06This is the part I'll miss when the debt clears.
00:32:09Exhaust fumes curl through the night air.
00:32:11That's when I see them.
00:32:13No.
00:32:13Serena and Lucas, walking through the crowd like tourists in a war zone.
00:32:17I'll be right there with you.
00:32:19His arm draped over her shoulders with that casual ownership that makes me want to put my fist through his
00:32:24perfect teeth.
00:32:25She really agreed to come here with him.
00:32:27She really came here.
00:32:29To this oil-stained hellscape and men with criminal records.
00:32:32Just focused.
00:32:34The starting signal flares red, then green.
00:32:37First lap, I'm in the lead.
00:32:39But she doesn't leave my thoughts.
00:32:41What the fuck is Lucas thinking?
00:32:42She looks wrong here.
00:32:44Too clean.
00:32:45Too bright.
00:32:45Like someone photoshopped an angel into a meth lab.
00:32:48I risk a glance at the crowd.
00:32:50Mistake.
00:32:51Huge fucking mistake.
00:32:53Our eyes meet over Lucas' shoulder for a second.
00:32:56She knows it's me.
00:32:57The curve comes too fast.
00:32:59One second I'm flying.
00:33:00The next, the bike slides out from under me like the ground itself has betrayed me.
00:33:05Gravel bites into my shoulder blade where the jacket rode up.
00:33:08The sky spins above me in lazy circles.
00:33:11Stars smearing into floodlights into darkness.
00:33:14You're an absolute idiot!
00:33:16What the hell were you thinking?
00:33:18I try to answer, but my lungs have decided breathing is optional.
00:33:22Each inhale feels like swallowing fiberglass.
00:33:25Someone call 911!
00:33:27Immediately!
00:33:28No ambulances, girl.
00:33:31We can't let the police search here.
00:33:33He could be bleeding internally!
00:33:35Look at him!
00:33:37I can handle this.
00:33:39We have people who can help.
00:33:41I don't give a fuck about your people!
00:33:43Serena, maybe we should...
00:33:46Shut up!
00:33:47Just shut up and let me think!
00:33:48I gasp and pain floods through me, sharp and clarifying, radiating from my ribs to my spine.
00:33:56Caleb, here you go.
00:33:58Stay with me.
00:33:59Just stay with me, okay?
00:34:01Worth it, I think, as darkness creeps in at the edges.
00:34:04Totally fucking worth it to see her look at me that.
00:34:08Have you ever hated someone so much that watching them bleed feels like bleeding yourself?
00:34:13The fluorescent lights of the emergency room buzz overhead, casting everything in a pallid glow.
00:34:19Nurses move around Caleb, checking vitals, cleaning wounds.
00:34:23I agreed to come tonight because Lucas asked, and because some reckless part of me wanted to prove I could
00:34:29be spontaneous.
00:34:31Then the race started, and my eyes found one rider without conscious thought.
00:34:36The angle of his shoulders.
00:34:37The aggressive grace of his turns.
00:34:40I knew it was Caleb before I could name why.
00:34:43Come on, Serena.
00:34:44Let's go.
00:34:45We can still salvage the night.
00:34:47No.
00:34:47I'll take him home.
00:34:49You go.
00:34:50I watch him disappear through the automatic doors, and feel nothing.
00:34:54The only thing occupying my mind is the boy bleeding in the room behind me.
00:34:59Six years of cruelty, being called princess like a slur, and yet here I sit in this taxi,
00:35:05watching streetlights strobe across his damaged face, aching with a tenderness that has survived every wound he's ever inflicted.
00:35:13Inside, I flip on the kitchen lights and notice the dark stain spreading across his back, fresh blood seeping through
00:35:20ruined fabric.
00:35:22You're bleeding again.
00:35:24Sit down.
00:35:26The wound is on your shoulder blade.
00:35:29Unless you've developed the ability to disallocate your arms, you can't reach it?
00:35:35Sit.
00:35:37Down.
00:35:41Let me.
00:35:42His back is a masterpiece of destruction.
00:35:45My hands shake as I clean the wounds.
00:35:48Why do you race?
00:35:49You can't even drive.
00:35:51I can drive fine.
00:35:53I was distracted.
00:35:55Don't move.
00:35:56I know how to pay attention.
00:36:01Speaking of attention, you look cozy with Bennett tonight.
00:36:05We're not talking about Lucas.
00:36:08No?
00:36:10Maybe we should.
00:36:12Did he buy you dinner first?
00:36:14If I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous.
00:36:18You think this is funny?
00:36:20Finish the damn sentence, Caleb!
00:36:23You're playing with fire, Serena.
00:36:25Good.
00:36:27Maybe Lucas will help me put it out after.
00:36:31Keep talking.
00:36:34See what happens.
00:36:36Lucas wanted to take me home tonight.
00:36:38After the race.
00:36:40He'd be nice, you know?
00:36:42Careful.
00:36:43Careful.
00:36:43Everything you're not.
00:36:46Want to know why I crashed?
00:36:49I saw his hands on you.
00:36:53And forgot there was a fucking road.
00:36:56So you're jealous?
00:36:58Don't sound so fucking pleased about it.
00:37:01You have no right to be jealous.
00:37:03Not after everything.
00:37:05I know.
00:37:08Because you were the only beautiful thing I'd ever touched.
00:37:12And I only know how to break beautiful things.
00:37:24Caleb.
00:37:26This is insane.
00:37:30I know.
00:37:31I don't care.
00:37:32Her breath catching.
00:37:34This is where she belongs.
00:37:35In my hands.
00:37:36Under my mouth.
00:37:37Mine.
00:37:38If you want me to stop, say it now.
00:37:41I don't know.
00:37:42But we can't just...
00:37:43Dear you?
00:37:44I should want you to stop.
00:37:46I should hate this.
00:37:50Serena.
00:37:51I've been aroused by you since I was 15.
00:37:54You can read the phone book, but...
00:37:56I need a cold shower.
00:37:58You have no idea what you do to me.
00:38:00Then show me.
00:38:02Stop talking and show me.
00:38:04So I do.
00:38:05The bra is white lace.
00:38:06Simple.
00:38:07Devastating.
00:38:08Not strawberry lingerie.
00:38:12I also have regular underwear, idiot.
00:38:16Thank God.
00:38:17Her breathing has gone shallow.
00:38:19Chest rising and falling rapidly.
00:38:21Sensitive?
00:38:24I don't...
00:38:26Every instinct screams at me to take, to claim, to devour.
00:38:30Yet this is Serena.
00:38:31The girl I've destroyed for six years.
00:38:33But I can't stop.
00:38:35So eager for it, aren't you?
00:38:37Who would have thought that a princess could be so lustful?
00:38:40She goes rigid.
00:38:42Fuck.
00:38:42The word princess hangs between us like a blade.
00:38:46Sharp with six years of history.
00:38:48Six years of using that word to hurt her.
00:38:51To belittle her.
00:38:52To make her feel small.
00:38:54Serena, I didn't mean...
00:38:57Don't.
00:38:59Just...
00:39:00Don't.
00:39:01It slipped out.
00:39:02Force of habit.
00:39:02I wasn't...
00:39:04I can't.
00:39:05I can't do this.
00:39:07Serena, please.
00:39:09Just wait.
00:39:11I can't look at you now.
00:39:12I can't be near you.
00:39:14Just let me explain.
00:39:17Explain what?
00:39:18That you've hated me for six years?
00:39:20And now you expect me to believe this is real?
00:39:23This is real?
00:39:24This is the only real feeling I've ever felt.
00:39:27Then why?
00:39:28Why did you try to destroy me?
00:39:35One word.
00:39:36One fucking word.
00:39:37And I destroyed everything.
00:39:41His mouth tasted like copper and recklessness.
00:39:44And I'm drowning in both.
00:39:46This was what I've been missing.
00:39:48This heat.
00:39:49This hunger.
00:39:50This feeling of being wanted so desperately.
00:39:53Princess?
00:39:54And my body went rigid.
00:39:56Not from pleasure.
00:39:57From the avalanche of everything he's ever done to me.
00:40:00Crashing through the walls I'd foolishly let him breach.
00:40:03Every insult lands fresh.
00:40:07Serena?
00:40:08Six years of systematic destruction flood back in a single devastating wave.
00:40:13I don't remember mounting the bike.
00:40:15I don't register the roads I take.
00:40:17The turns I make.
00:40:18The darkness swallowing everything beyond my headlights' weak beam.
00:40:22Muscle memory guides me through streets I've traveled a thousand times before.
00:40:27Our spot.
00:40:28Mine and hers.
00:40:29I cry for her.
00:40:31For the mother who should be here.
00:40:32Who should be the one I run to when boys break me open.
00:40:35I cry for the woman I'm becoming.
00:40:37The truth surfaces between sobs.
00:40:39Ugly and undeniable.
00:40:41And impossible to shove back down where it belongs.
00:40:44I want Caleb Thornton.
00:40:46His hands.
00:40:47His mouth.
00:40:47The desperate way he looked at me before I ran away.
00:40:51The admission settles into my chest with the weight of inevitability.
00:40:55I want him.
00:40:57God help me.
00:40:58I want him.
00:40:59And that's exactly why I can't have him.
00:41:02Serena Lakin doesn't crumble for anyone.
00:41:04Least of all the boy who tried hardest to break her.
00:41:09The neighborhood is tomb silent when I finally coast into our driveway.
00:41:14Legs burning from pedaling through streets I barely remember traveling.
00:41:18Both cars sit in their usual spots.
00:41:21Dark and silent like sleeping sentinels.
00:41:24Parents came home while I was falling apart by a lake.
00:41:27And my father had no idea his daughter spent the evening kissing her stepbrother in their kitchen.
00:41:32The stairs creak once beneath my weight.
00:41:35And I freeze.
00:41:36Heart slamming against my ribs.
00:41:38But no bedroom doors open.
00:41:40No concerned voices call out into the darkness.
00:41:43Sleep doesn't come.
00:41:44I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling.
00:41:47Tracing patterns in the shadows that shift each time a car passes on the street below.
00:41:52His hands ghost across my skin in phantom touches I can't shake.
00:41:56The weight of his body between my thighs.
00:41:59The desperate sound of my name in his mouth.
00:42:02Because you were the only beautiful thing I'd ever touched.
00:42:05The confession plays on loop.
00:42:07Wearing grooves into my brain until I can't tell if I'm remembering or inventing.
00:42:12Did he really say that?
00:42:13Did his voice really crack on the words like something inside him was breaking?
00:42:18I pull my pillow over my face and scream into it.
00:42:21Morning arrives with the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
00:42:24I spend 20 minutes rebuilding my face into something presentable.
00:42:28Each brush stroke feels like armor.
00:42:31Layer after layer of pigment between the world and my devastation.
00:42:35You're fine.
00:42:36You're completely fine.
00:42:37My legs feel like they belong to someone else as I descend the stairs.
00:42:42Caleb is already at the breakfast table.
00:42:44His head lifts when I enter.
00:42:46Everything from last night crashes back.
00:42:49His mouth.
00:42:49His hands.
00:42:50His confession.
00:42:51My retreat.
00:42:52I look away first.
00:42:53The coffee pot becomes my entire focus as I pour with hands that refuse to steady.
00:43:01Good morning, sweetheart.
00:43:03You look tired.
00:43:04Late night studying.
00:43:06Something like that.
00:43:07I have some wonderful news.
00:43:09I ran into Richard Bennett at the club yesterday.
00:43:13And he mentioned that Lucas has been spending quite a bit of time with you lately.
00:43:20I have to say I was delighted to hear it.
00:43:23Lucas seems like a wonderful young man.
00:43:26Richard and Patricia raised him well.
00:43:29Lucas is...
00:43:31Nice.
00:43:32More than nice, apparently.
00:43:34Richard seemed to think things were progressing rather well between you two.
00:43:38And I must say...
00:43:40I wholeheartedly approve.
00:43:42The Bennetts are good people.
00:43:44Serena.
00:43:45Solid values.
00:43:47Excellent future prospects.
00:43:49The kind of foundation any father would want for his daughter.
00:43:52Nothing's progressing.
00:43:56We're just friends, Dad.
00:44:00For now.
00:44:02I'm just so glad you're spending time with the right people.
00:44:06Quality connections are important, honey.
00:44:10I have somewhere to be.
00:44:16Well...
00:44:18I wonder what's gotten into him this morning.
00:44:21Young men.
00:44:23Probably some athletic commitment he forgot about until now.
00:44:30My phone buzzes against my thigh.
00:44:33The screen illuminates with Lucas' name.
00:44:35And I almost laugh at the cosmic timing of it all.
00:44:38The universe has a sick sense of humor.
00:44:41I should say no.
00:44:42I should create distance from everything.
00:44:45Lucas.
00:44:46Caleb.
00:44:46The entire tangled mess I've made of my carefully ordered existence.
00:44:50Getting closer to Lucas means watching Caleb's face harden every time we're in the same room.
00:44:56My thumbs hover over the keyboard for a long moment.
00:45:00Me.
00:45:00Sure.
00:45:01Because maybe normal is exactly what I need right now.
00:45:06Drowning looks different when you're doing it on dry land.
00:45:09Here's what I'm currently juggling.
00:45:11A faceless stranger who took my virginity and vanished into a sea of identical skeleton masks.
00:45:17A stepbrother whose mouth I can still taste when I close my eyes.
00:45:21No matter how many times I brush my teeth.
00:45:24Or chawled in coffee.
00:45:25The library has become my bunker.
00:45:28My fortress.
00:45:29My carefully constructed excuse to avoid every space where Caleb might appear.
00:45:34The complicated part that keeps me awake at night?
00:45:37I don't entirely regret it.
00:45:39You look like someone ran over your cat.
00:45:42Resurrected it.
00:45:43And ran it over again.
00:45:44Thanks for that vivid imagery.
00:45:47Really appreciate the poetry you've blessed me with today.
00:45:50I'm being serious right now Serena.
00:45:52You've been weird for days.
00:45:54And don't think I haven't noticed every single red flag you're waving.
00:45:58That's complete bullshit and you know it.
00:46:01You maintain your GPA in your sleep.
00:46:03Is this about the mystery guy from the race?
00:46:07Did something happen that night?
00:46:08I don't know what you're talking about Mia.
00:46:11Oh come on.
00:46:12Don't insult my intelligence.
00:46:14I saw your face that Monday.
00:46:16Even if something did happen I wouldn't know how to explain it without sounding completely unhinged.
00:46:21Some things are too tangled to put into words.
00:46:23Try me.
00:46:24I've heard worse things than you can possibly imagine.
00:46:26My older sister once confessed to sleeping with her professor.
00:46:30And I kept that secret through two Thanksgivings and a family reunion.
00:46:34It's complicated.
00:46:36Complicated usually means interesting in my experience.
00:46:39The messiest situations always make the best stories afterward.
00:46:43This isn't a story I want to tell anyone ever.
00:46:46This is a disaster.
00:46:48Fine.
00:46:49I won't push you today.
00:46:50But I'm here when you're ready to spill everything.
00:47:02He took this while he was inside me.
00:47:05While I kept my eyes shut.
00:47:07Every tall frame.
00:47:08Every athletic build.
00:47:10Makes me wonder with nauseating intensity.
00:47:13Was it you?
00:47:17You look incredible tonight.
00:47:20That blouse is perfect on you.
00:47:22Thank you for bringing me here.
00:47:23It's beautiful.
00:47:26Only the best for you, Serena.
00:47:28The words should make my heart flutter.
00:47:30But my mind keeps drifting to that photo on my phone.
00:47:33Who took it?
00:47:34What do they want from me?
00:47:36Is this blackmail waiting to detonate?
00:47:38Or a warning shot across my bow?
00:47:40The professor sounds like some kind of weirdo.
00:47:42Did he actually throw chalk at that guy?
00:47:45Allegedly.
00:47:47The kid deserved it though.
00:47:49Remind me never to fall asleep in your classes.
00:47:52Serena.
00:47:53You seem really distracted tonight.
00:47:57Sorry.
00:47:59Just school stress weighing on me.
00:48:01Anything I can help with?
00:48:03Can you tell me why my stepbrother makes me feel more alive in fury than you do in kindness?
00:48:09No.
00:48:11But thank you for asking.
00:48:17I had a really great time tonight.
00:48:19Me too.
00:48:26You should go, Bennett.
00:48:28Now.
00:48:29I was just saying goodnight to Serena, man.
00:48:32And now you're leaving.
00:48:34Immediately.
00:48:36Okay.
00:48:36I'll call you tomorrow, Serena.
00:48:38Good night.
00:48:44This roast chicken is truly excellent.
00:48:46Yes.
00:48:47It goes perfectly with the wine.
00:48:49The hospital charity gala is next weekend.
00:48:51I was thinking Serena should attend.
00:48:54Wonderful idea.
00:48:55The Bennets will be there too.
00:48:56Lucas could introduce you to some partners at his father's firm.
00:49:01Networking is so important at your age.
00:49:04Perfect opportunity to wear that lovely dress we bought last month.
00:49:07Of course.
00:49:09Sure.
00:49:10I'll go with Lucas.
00:49:13May I be excused?
00:49:14I had an early morning.
00:49:15Of course, sweetheart.
00:49:16Is everything all right?
00:49:18Okay.
00:49:18Everything is perfect.
00:49:23Sorry, I...
00:49:25Well, young people and their moods, I guess.
00:49:29He's probably just tired from training.
00:49:31The season is demanding.
00:49:33When did this happen?
00:49:35When did Caleb Thornton's opinions start mattering more than my own piece?
00:49:46We need to talk.
00:49:48Fascinating opener.
00:49:49The answer's still no.
00:49:52Get out!
00:49:53Lucas isn't what he seems.
00:49:55You need to stay away from him.
00:49:57Oh, this is rich.
00:49:58You're giving me relationship advice now?
00:50:01You, of all people?
00:50:02This isn't about us, Serena.
00:50:05This is about him.
00:50:06There is no us, Caleb.
00:50:08There's you, trespassing in my room,
00:50:10running your mouth about things that don't concern you.
00:50:15You kissed him tonight.
00:50:17I did a lot of things tonight.
00:50:18Breathing.
00:50:19Blinking.
00:50:20Blinking.
00:50:20Walking upright.
00:50:21Should I run those by you, too, or just the ones involving other men's mouths?
00:50:25On our doorstep.
00:50:27Ten feet from where I was standing.
00:50:29Proximity bothers you now?
00:50:32That's new.
00:50:32You've never had trouble performing with an audience before.
00:50:36Careful, Serena.
00:50:38Or what?
00:50:39You'll make my life miserable?
00:50:40Breaking news.
00:50:41You've been doing that since middle school.
00:50:44I'm immune.
00:50:44You're not immune to anything.
00:50:47Your pulse is jumping in your throat right now.
00:50:50I can see it from here.
00:50:52That's called hatred, Caleb.
00:50:54Search it!
00:50:55Hatred doesn't make your pupils dilate.
00:50:58Hatred doesn't make you breathe like you've been running.
00:51:01Maybe I'm allergic to bullshit.
00:51:03You're certainly giving off enough of it.
00:51:05Then why haven't you screamed for Daddy, Eth?
00:51:07I don't need my father to handle you.
00:51:09No?
00:51:10Then handle me yourself.
00:51:12Put your hands on my chest and shove me out that door.
00:51:20What's the holdup, Princess?
00:51:22All that righteous anger and you can't even touch me long enough to push me away?
00:51:25Don't call me that.
00:51:27Touch me and I'll stop.
00:51:29You're terrified.
00:51:31Not of me.
00:51:33Of what happens when you stop pretending you don't want this.
00:51:36The only thing I want is for you to choke on your own ego.
00:51:40Liar.
00:51:40Your whole body's shaking.
00:51:43You're so wound up you can barely stand.
00:51:45You are delusional.
00:51:48Then prove it.
00:51:49Tell me to leave.
00:51:51Mean it.
00:51:52Why are you in my face again?
00:51:54What do you want from me?
00:52:06Come on, Princess.
00:52:08Tell me how much you hate me now.
00:52:10I hate.
00:52:11I hate you.
00:52:13Again.
00:52:15Make me believe it this time.
00:52:18Call it.
00:52:23Every pathetic dream I've tortured myself with dissolves into nothing compared to the weight of her body pressed against mine.
00:52:31Somehow we migrate to my room.
00:52:36You're shaking.
00:52:37No, I'm not.
00:52:44Caleb.
00:52:46Your hands are literally trembling.
00:52:48Shut up.
00:52:50I'm just saying.
00:52:51You want to analyze this?
00:52:54Write a thesis about my sizzy logical responses?
00:52:58Or do you want me to make you forget how to form sentences?
00:53:01That's what I thought.
00:53:03I'm not a virgin anymore.
00:53:06That doesn't mean it won't hurt the second time.
00:53:08We don't have to do this.
00:53:11If you've changed your mind.
00:53:13I haven't changed my fucking mind.
00:53:16I just...
00:53:19I need you to be sure.
00:53:21Why?
00:53:22Because I'm not a complete bastard.
00:53:24Despite popular opinion.
00:53:26Caleb, I want this.
00:53:28I want you.
00:53:31Tell me if it hurts.
00:53:33I mean it, Serena.
00:53:35One word and I stop.
00:53:39Your turn.
00:53:41Slow down.
00:53:42You've been telling me to shut up and take what I want for years.
00:53:47Now you want me to be patient?
00:53:48Now I want to take my time.
00:53:51I want to learn every inch of you.
00:53:54I want to hear every sound you make.
00:53:56I want to remember this when I'm old and broken and you've moved on to someone who deserves you.
00:54:01Caleb, you're staring.
00:54:03Don't hide from me.
00:54:05Not now.
00:54:06It's embarrassing.
00:54:08You're perfect.
00:54:09You've always been perfect and I've hated you for it.
00:54:12Hated how much I wanted you.
00:54:13Hated that you made me feel things I couldn't control.
00:54:23Caleb, what are you doing?
00:54:33Caleb.
00:54:34We go slow.
00:54:41I'll stop whenever you say.
00:54:46Caleb, please.
00:54:49Please what?
00:54:50I need you.
00:54:53Please, I need you inside me.
00:55:02Her taste, salt and sweetness as I drag my mouth down her throat.
00:55:07I've dreamed about this since my first fumbling experiences taught me what bodies could do together.
00:55:14Back seats of cars with girls whose names blurred by morning.
00:55:18Dorm rooms and parties and encounters that meant nothing beyond temporary release.
00:55:23None of them mattered.
00:55:25None of them mattered.
00:55:25None of them mattered because they weren't her.
00:55:27God.
00:55:28Tell me, but we're real close.
00:55:31This line we cross, nobody more.
00:55:35Forbidden.
00:55:36Don't pray, don't cry.
00:55:39Just let me drown in your alibi.
00:55:42But what if we stop pretending?
00:55:47What if we just give in?
00:55:56The warmth pressed against my body, tangible and real.
00:56:07How long have you been awake?
00:56:10A while.
00:56:12You talk in your sleep, you know that?
00:56:16Very entertaining.
00:56:18Right, something about constitutional amendments.
00:56:21And a certain Professor Henderson.
00:56:24Oh, God.
00:56:26Please tell me you're lying.
00:56:28I liked it best when you muttered something about colored markers.
00:56:31Very sexy bedtime talk, Laken.
00:56:35You're unbearable.
00:56:37And yet you're here.
00:56:40Still in my bed.
00:56:42The morning is just beginning.
00:56:44Give me time.
00:56:46Take all the time you want.
00:56:48I'm not going anywhere.
00:56:54I should probably go get ready.
00:56:58The gala is tonight, and I need to...
00:57:00A gala evening?
00:57:02Yes, the charity event our parents have been discussing for weeks.
00:57:06Catherine mentioned it at dinner last night, remember?
00:57:09The hospital foundation thing?
00:57:10The whole point of last night was that you don't go with him.
00:57:14Last night had no point.
00:57:16Last night was a mistake.
00:57:17A mistake.
00:57:19That's what you're calling it?
00:57:20What else would I possibly call it, Caleb?
00:57:23You were screaming my name four hours ago, and now it's a mistake?
00:57:26Lower your voice before someone hears.
00:57:31You let Lucas kiss you on our doorstep.
00:57:34You're going to this gala on his arm tonight.
00:57:38Parading around like nothing happened between us.
00:57:41And?
00:57:42What happens in my life is none of your concern.
00:57:45And I'm supposed to be fine with that?
00:57:48After everything that happened between us last night?
00:57:50You don't get to be anything about my choices.
00:57:55This doesn't give you rights over me.
00:57:58Then...
00:57:59What the hell does it give me, Serena?
00:58:02I need to go.
00:58:04Step away.
00:58:09You're really going to pretend this means nothing?
00:58:11I'm not pretending anything.
00:58:15Liar.
00:58:16I know what you felt.
00:58:19Let me go, Caleb.
00:58:21I can't watch you with him.
00:58:24I can't watch him touch you, knowing what we...
00:58:27Knowing how you...
00:58:29But before I can respond, his slam on the closet makes us both look at the carpet,
00:58:34and my whole world turns upside down.
00:58:39I can explain.
00:58:44Serena, please.
00:58:46Just let me explain what happened.
00:58:48You.
00:58:49It was you.
00:58:51Yes, but it's not yoked.
00:58:53You took my virginity.
00:58:55You knew exactly who I was.
00:58:58And you let me think I was with someone else.
00:59:00I didn't plan it.
00:59:01I saw you with Lucas, followed because I was jealous, and then you took my hand and...
00:59:05And you just went along with it?
00:59:07You let me believe I was with someone else the entire time we were in that room?
00:59:11You thought you were with Lucas.
00:59:12You wanted him, not me.
00:59:14What was I supposed to do?
00:59:15Correct you, mid-sduction.
00:59:16Yes.
00:59:17That's what a decent person would do, Caleb.
00:59:20I'm not a decent human being.
00:59:22I've never claimed to be.
00:59:24And the message?
00:59:26The photo someone sent to my phone last week?
00:59:29That was me.
00:59:31I sent it.
00:59:32You photographed me without my consent and then used it to threaten me?
00:59:36It wasn't a threat.
00:59:37It was...
00:59:37I was trying to make you stay away from Lucas.
00:59:40I panicked.
00:59:41I blackmailing me?
00:59:43That was your brilliant plan?
00:59:45You kept spending time with him.
00:59:47And I couldn't just tell you the truth without...
00:59:50Without what?
00:59:51Admitting you'd already violated every boundary that exists between two people?
00:59:55Lucas is not who you think he is.
00:59:58That's what I've been trying to tell you all this time.
01:00:00Oh, this should be good.
01:00:02Please enlighten me about who Lucas is.
01:00:04He's dangerous, Serena.
01:00:06There are things about him you don't know.
01:00:09Things you conveniently couldn't mention until after you'd slept with me twice and gotten
01:00:13caught in your own web of lies?
01:00:14The timing looks suspicious, I know.
01:00:17But I'm telling you the truth right now.
01:00:19The truth?
01:00:20You don't know what that word means, Caleb.
01:00:22You wouldn't recognize truth that introduced itself with a handshake.
01:00:25Serena, wait.
01:00:27You have to listen to me about this.
01:00:31I don't have to do what you say.
01:00:33Lucas hurt someone.
01:00:35Back in high school, there was a girl at a party after everyone else had left.
01:00:39She is the reason we stopped being friends.
01:00:43And you expect me to believe this convenient revelation right now after everything you've
01:00:48just admitted?
01:00:49It's not convenient.
01:00:50It's relevant.
01:00:52Everything I've done has been to protect you from him.
01:00:55Are you aligning me?
01:00:57This is sickening, Caleb.
01:00:59I know what it looks like.
01:01:01But all I did was because I...
01:01:03Was because you're a manipulative bastard?
01:01:08Last night you told me it might hurt the second time.
01:01:11You knew it was only my second time because you were my first.
01:01:15Serena.
01:01:15Don't.
01:01:16Don't say my name like that.
01:01:18You can't seem offended right now.
01:01:21And going.
01:01:23Don't follow me.
01:01:24Please don't do this.
01:01:26It's not like that, Serena.
01:01:28So how do I do it?
01:01:32You're exactly the villain I always knew you were.
01:01:35I just forgot for a few hours.
01:01:41And the party tonight?
01:01:43Are you still going with him despite everything I just told you?
01:01:47Your word means nothing to me anymore.
01:01:51This is such a beautiful event.
01:01:54It really is.
01:01:55Cheers to that.
01:01:56Charity galas exist so rich people can feel generous while drinking champagne that costs more than my textbooks.
01:02:03You look stunning.
01:02:05Every man in this room is jealous of me right now.
01:02:08Flattery will get you everywhere, Bennet.
01:02:11That's what I'm counting on.
01:02:14You two look absolutely lovely together.
01:02:16Like something from a magazine spread, honestly.
01:02:21The Bennets raised a fine young man.
01:02:23I couldn't be happier about you two spending time together.
01:02:27Thank you, sir.
01:02:29Serena makes it easy to be a gentleman.
01:02:43Do you want to dance?
01:02:44I wouldn't want anything more.
01:02:49My father's partner wanted to meet you.
01:02:51He's been asking about my mysterious pre-law girlfriend all evening.
01:02:54I'm not your girlfriend.
01:02:57Every interaction only reveals more kindness.
01:03:01More evidence that Caleb lied.
01:03:03Enjoying yourself, princess?
01:03:05Don't call me that.
01:03:06Playing dress-up with Bennet looks exhausting.
01:03:09Blue suits you, though.
01:03:11Your mother would have approved.
01:03:13Is there something you need, Thornton?
01:03:15It's Lycan now, actually.
01:03:17Didn't you hear?
01:03:18We're one big happy family these days.
01:03:21Just making conversation with my stepister.
01:03:24Family obligation?
01:03:26You understand.
01:03:27Funny how you only remember family obligations when it's convenient.
01:03:31Some of us remember when you couldn't spell the word.
01:03:33And some of us remember things we probably shouldn't talk about at charity galas.
01:03:38Right, Bennet?
01:03:39Wouldn't want to ruin the evening with ancient history.
01:03:42You're drunk.
01:03:44Maybe you should find some water in a quiet corner.
01:03:47Maybe you should worry less about my hydration.
01:03:50And more about your own glass house.
01:03:54Stones hurt when they come back around, don't they?
01:03:57When we were actually just leaving, excuse us.
01:04:10I didn't know you smoked.
01:04:13There's a lot you don't know about me.
01:04:15Though I suppose that cuts both ways now, doesn't it?
01:04:19You've been avoiding me all night, Serena.
01:04:22I really like the gala.
01:04:24It's not all about you, Caleb.
01:04:26No?
01:04:28Then why do you look for me in every room you enter?
01:04:31I don't...
01:04:35You do.
01:04:36You've been watching me all night while pretending not to.
01:04:39And I've been watching you pretend.
01:04:48Does Lucas know?
01:04:51Know what?
01:04:53That you're only with him because of me.
01:04:56You're delusional.
01:04:58I chose Lucas because he's everything you're not.
01:05:03And what exactly am I not?
01:05:06Honest.
01:05:07Attentive.
01:05:08Capable of basic human decency without ulterior motives attached.
01:05:12Sounds like a golden retriever.
01:05:15Very exciting.
01:05:17Excitement isn't everything, Caleb.
01:05:20Some of us prefer stability over chaos.
01:05:23You don't want stability.
01:05:25You want to feel safe, wanting what terrifies you.
01:05:28What terrifies me is your complete inability to take responsibility for anything you've done.
01:05:36I've taken responsibility.
01:05:39I told you the truth about Bennett.
01:05:41About Halloween.
01:05:42About the photo.
01:05:44About all of it.
01:05:45After I discovered the mask in your closet.
01:05:47That's not a confession.
01:05:49That's damage control.
01:05:50And yet here you are.
01:05:53Alone with me on a balcony instead of inside with your puppy.
01:05:56I came out here for air.
01:05:59Not for you.
01:06:00Keep telling yourself that.
01:06:04That's a great story.
01:06:06I remember the first time I saw the play.
01:06:13Excuse me for a moment.
01:06:16There you are.
01:06:18I've been looking everywhere for you.
01:06:22Just getting some air.
01:06:24The ballroom was getting stuffy.
01:06:26I can imagine.
01:06:28Caleb.
01:06:30Still here?
01:06:31Just leaving.
01:06:32The view got less interesting.
01:06:34I want to hurt him the way he hurt me.
01:06:37I want him to watch and suffer.
01:06:41Lucas.
01:06:42Serena?
01:07:03What was that for?
01:07:05I just wanted to.
01:07:09I'm not complaining.
01:07:11Feel free to want that anytime.
01:07:14We should go back inside.
01:07:17People will talk.
01:07:19Let them.
01:07:28Funny how memory works.
01:07:30My traitorous mind has other plans.
01:07:32Circling Caleb's face like a vulture over Carrion.
01:07:36Devastated doesn't cover it.
01:07:38He looked destroyed.
01:07:39The foundation cracked and walls collapsed.
01:07:42I tell myself this is what I wanted.
01:07:45Punishment.
01:07:46So why does victory taste like ash coating my tongue?
01:07:50The clock reads three in the morning.
01:07:52But even in dreams, I can't escape the blue of his eyes.
01:07:55Right before they went hollow.
01:07:59Lucas and I build something in the spaces between obligations.
01:08:03Coffee shops where baristas know our orders.
01:08:06Library corners we've claimed as territory.
01:08:12His roommates scatter when I arrive.
01:08:15Mumbling excuses that sound rehearsed.
01:08:18They're just awkward around new people.
01:08:23He seems genuine.
01:08:25Which either means he is, or he's very good at pretending.
01:08:29That's Trish Shurion.
01:08:31I'm a realist, not a cheerleader.
01:08:34But your other friends like him.
01:08:37So there's that.
01:08:38They do like him.
01:08:39The easy charm.
01:08:40The remembered details.
01:08:42The way he makes everyone feel important.
01:08:44I should be grateful for the consensus.
01:08:47Instead, I find myself cataloging inconsistencies, like evidence for a trial I haven't decided to hold.
01:08:53His smile doesn't always reach his eyes, especially when he thinks I'm not watching.
01:08:59Caleb watches us across campus, with the dedication of someone memorizing a crime scene.
01:09:05He doesn't approach, doesn't speak, doesn't acknowledge my existence, beyond those burning blue eyes, tracking my movements.
01:09:12Every time our gazes collide, my chest constricts with an ache I refuse to name.
01:09:17I look away first, because looking longer feels like confession.
01:09:21The parade of girls through his bedroom has stopped, or at least the volume has dropped to silence.
01:09:35You okay?
01:09:37Fine.
01:09:39What happened between you two?
01:09:41Ancient history, Serena.
01:09:44It doesn't matter anymore.
01:09:46Clearly it does.
01:09:47You can't even look at his car without going full statue.
01:09:50We were kids.
01:09:52People grow apart.
01:09:54That's not an answer.
01:09:56And you know it.
01:09:58It was just high school drama.
01:10:01Stukid teenage stuff.
01:10:03What kind of stupid teenage stuff?
01:10:05Did you steal his book?
01:10:07Beat him at lacrosse tryouts?
01:10:11Nothing like that.
01:10:13Then what?
01:10:16Was there a girl involved?
01:10:19Maybe.
01:10:21But it's complicated.
01:10:24Complicated how?
01:10:27What?
01:10:28You two couldn't share her or something?
01:10:31There was a girl.
01:10:33Her name was Rachel.
01:10:35And things just...
01:10:37got messy.
01:10:42Anyway, what are your Thanksgiving plans?
01:10:45My parents have been asking about you.
01:10:48I let him redirect.
01:10:49Let him kiss my cheek and walk away.
01:10:51Let the questions settle heavy in my chest.
01:10:55Rachel.
01:10:56A girl.
01:10:57Things got messy.
01:10:59The name circles my mind.
01:11:01Three hours disappear into the black hole of social media stalking.
01:11:05Rachel Weaver emerges from the digital excavation around midnight.
01:11:10I scroll back through years.
01:11:12Junior prom.
01:11:13Three years ago.
01:11:14Caleb on her left.
01:11:16Lucas on her right.
01:11:17Whatever broke them apart started with this girl in the blue dress.
01:11:23Whatever truth Caleb tried to tell me has roots I'm only beginning to trace.
01:11:28I open a new message window before doubt can intervene.
01:11:31The cursor blinks.
01:11:33Patient and waiting.
01:11:34I start typing.
01:11:35I start typing.
01:11:36I start typing.
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