- 1 day ago
a tabloid reporter travels to a Sierra mountain town to disprove cryptid sightings. Instead, he discovers Bigfoot is a beer-drinking, party-loving Sasquatch, and must protect him from vengeful rednecks and bounty hunters seeking a reward
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02cultural
00:00:06social
00:00:06social
00:00:06social
00:00:06social
00:01:07Hey, girls.
00:01:09Hi, Mrs. Pepperdough.
00:01:10So you girls ready to have a good time this weekend?
00:01:12I can't wait. I've never been camping before.
00:01:15I have. It's really fun.
00:01:17We get to go on hikes and make campfires of roast marshmallows.
00:01:21That sounds like so much work.
00:01:22Can't we just go to the beach?
00:01:24Yeah, there'd be less bugs and dirt.
00:01:27We're not going to the beach.
00:01:28Besides, camping's a lot of fun,
00:01:30and you'll learn some necessary survival skills.
00:01:33What are you reading, Marianne?
00:01:35Oh, it's a book on cryptids.
00:01:38How is it?
00:01:40Oh, there's this fascinating chapter.
00:01:42Oh, there's this fascinating chapter on...
00:01:43You're such a geek.
00:01:45You're such an idiot.
00:01:46Spaz.
00:01:47What?
00:01:48Knock it off, girls.
00:01:49Sorry.
00:01:49Sorry, Mrs. Pepperdough.
00:01:52Are you princesses done chatting?
00:01:55If we don't get a move on,
00:01:57traffic's going to be a bitch.
00:01:58Now move it!
00:02:15Yep.
00:02:20Alright, put them on.
00:02:23Yeah, that's a berry.
00:02:26Fisherman, huh?
00:02:30Third instant this week?
00:02:33Okay, what's the name of this place again?
00:02:38Skull Mountain.
00:02:40Up near Awani.
00:02:46Okay, I'm sending someone up there to check it out.
00:02:49His name is Harlan James.
00:02:51Huh?
00:02:53Yeah, yeah.
00:02:54Well, I'm contacting you once he gets up there.
00:02:58All right.
00:02:59All right.
00:03:00Thank you for calling.
00:03:05James, get your ass in here!
00:03:09Have I got a story for you.
00:03:12It's not those Jersey Devil twins again, is it?
00:03:15No, this is bigger.
00:03:17And real.
00:03:18It seems a man was out fishing yesterday when his cooler full of beer went missing.
00:03:23It appears it was stolen by Bigfoot.
00:03:25Bigfoot?
00:03:27James, this isn't some made-up grainy camera footage.
00:03:31There were actual footprints left in the mud.
00:03:33This person was so close to Bigfoot, he could have kicked him square in the crotch.
00:03:38And he turned around.
00:03:41So, he didn't actually see him?
00:03:44No, but I did just get off the phone with the local sheriff and he told me this is the
00:03:48third incident in two days.
00:03:50The day we get law enforcement calling us with these stories, they have to be real.
00:03:56I need you to get up there and see what you can find.
00:03:59Oh, okay.
00:04:01So, where am I headed?
00:04:03Someplace called Skull Mountain, up near Iwani.
00:04:06Once you get there, look up Sheriff Bubba Lopez and he'll fill you in.
00:04:12You tell everyone the Tattletail will offer 25,000 cash for anyone who can capture the creature, dead or alive.
00:04:2125,000?
00:04:24We've never offered that much for a story.
00:04:26I know, but we're talking about one of the most elusive creatures in the world.
00:04:31If we can just get pictures of this thing, or better yet, his corpse, we'll make a fortune.
00:04:37That seems a little extreme.
00:04:42Hey, that's journalism.
00:04:44You do what you gotta do to get your story.
00:04:48After all these years, I'm finally gonna get that stinking ape.
00:04:55James, this could be huge.
00:04:57Just get down there and get me that story, no matter what.
00:05:27This looks like a good spot, don't you think?
00:05:29You know, I'm tired of driving.
00:05:30It's perfect.
00:05:36Okay, girls, let's get, let's unpack.
00:05:38Let's get the stuff out of the van.
00:05:40We're gonna camp here.
00:05:41Get the crap out of the van, now!
00:05:45You've gotta be fun with them, otherwise I'll walk all over you.
00:05:49And there's mud.
00:05:51My face.
00:06:02Girl.
00:06:07Girl.
00:06:25What the heck is this?
00:06:27Seriously, you two don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.
00:06:29Let me see that hole.
00:06:32She's never said that before.
00:06:33What was that?
00:06:34She said the instructions are in German.
00:06:37It's actually pretty simple if you aren't a moron.
00:06:42So, have you ever camped up here before?
00:06:44A couple times when I was younger.
00:06:46In fact, I think there's a swimming hole near here.
00:06:49Hope you brought your suit.
00:06:51How's everything going over here, girls?
00:06:53I think we got it under control.
00:06:55Good.
00:06:55Why don't you do go gather some wood before it gets dark, okay?
00:07:08Yeah, it's right over here.
00:07:14Yeah, this is the spot right here.
00:07:16Mm-hmm.
00:07:17Oh, dear.
00:07:18Oh, sir.
00:07:19I am so very glad that you called me.
00:07:23You ever seen footprints this size before?
00:07:25Yeah.
00:07:26I'll tell you.
00:07:27I have seen bigger.
00:07:29But don't get me wrong.
00:07:31This is a very, very interesting specimen.
00:07:34Yes.
00:07:58Oh, I'm so glad.
00:08:00Oh, I'm so glad.
00:08:27So what do you think?
00:08:29This is a very interesting
00:08:31specimen, Sheriff.
00:08:32I would like to have some plaster casts
00:08:34made so I can study them.
00:08:38So, Professor, tell me,
00:08:40do you think the campers are in any real danger?
00:08:43I mean, we'd need to be concerned
00:08:44about these big footprints?
00:08:48Well, it's hard to say.
00:08:50They're not generally known
00:08:52to be very violent creatures.
00:08:53However, there's no telling
00:08:55what they'll do if provoked.
00:08:58All right, Ethan.
00:09:15We'll wait until tonight.
00:09:18That's a dance-off.
00:09:22Hey, brother.
00:09:25Oh!
00:09:35Sweet hug!
00:09:40I can't believe this.
00:09:45Oh yeah?
00:09:47See how cute he looks now.
00:10:10Why is the sheriff coming?
00:10:12I don't know.
00:10:14You're supposed to talk to this kid.
00:10:17Who are you and what are you doing in our part of the woods?
00:10:22I'm a reporter with the Tattletoe.
00:10:25Why you gotta meet with Bubba?
00:10:27Well, he called with some sightings of Bigfoot.
00:10:31I came to get the scoop and offer a word for whoever can capture the beast.
00:10:37What kind of reward are we talking about?
00:10:4025 grand.
00:10:42Cash.
00:10:44Did you say 25 grand?
00:10:47Yep. 25 grand. Dead or alive.
00:11:01We're offering an award of 25,000 for whoever can capture the monster.
00:11:08First of all, Mr. James, he's not a monster.
00:11:11Second of all, well, if the locals find out about that money, there's liable to be all kinds of people
00:11:18running around here with shotguns and someone's liable to get hurt.
00:11:23I suppose you've got a point.
00:11:26So, when can we get started?
00:11:29Well, tomorrow morning. Where you stand?
00:11:32The Black Hawk Lodge.
00:11:34That's right.
00:11:34Right across the street.
00:11:35All right.
00:11:36I'll pick you up at 9 o'clock.
00:11:38And it looks like the show's about to start.
00:11:42Wow.
00:11:43All right.
00:11:43All right.
00:11:43Settle down.
00:11:45The contest's about to start.
00:11:46Now, the rules are real simple.
00:11:48The contestant that gets the loudest applause is going to win one free night at the Black Hawk Lodge and
00:11:55also one free entree at Ling's Chinese and Italian restaurant in Norfolk.
00:12:02So, let's hear it for contestant number one.
00:12:17Sheriff, aren't you going to break it up?
00:12:20I would, but I'm off duty.
00:12:33Oh, I can smell that money.
00:12:36What are you going to do with your cut, Sonny?
00:12:39First, I'm going to get me a new hunting bow.
00:12:41Then, I'm going to take the missus out to the nicest restaurant in town, order some egg rolls and spaghetti,
00:12:48and have us a feast.
00:12:51What about you?
00:12:54There's this used truck I've had my eye on for quite some time.
00:13:00What about you, Roger?
00:13:02I hadn't really decided what I'm going to do with my half of the reward.
00:13:08Your half?
00:13:10There's three of us.
00:13:11I'm taking half the reward.
00:13:14You two can split the other half any way you want.
00:13:17That's full.
00:13:18Why do you get half?
00:13:20My guns, my ammo, my reward.
00:13:25Yeah, that sounds fair.
00:13:29Let's pick this stuff up and go collect our money.
00:13:43I was a hand hooked killer.
00:13:47Lame.
00:13:48Does anyone else have a story?
00:13:51Well, I do, but it's not really a ghost story.
00:13:54Well, go ahead and tell it anyways.
00:13:56Well, the book I'm reading has this chapter on Sasquatch.
00:14:00What the hell is a Sasquatch?
00:14:03Bigfoot.
00:14:04The book I'm reading has a chapter on Bigfoot.
00:14:08This half-man, half-ape creature.
00:14:11Science doesn't have any proof that he exists, but lots of people think he's real.
00:14:16Apparently, he's eight foot tall and weighs 500 pounds.
00:14:21Marianne, you're just making that up.
00:14:23No, I'm not.
00:14:26There's been Bigfoot sightings all over the world.
00:14:29In fact, there's been sightings in these mountains.
00:14:33Here?
00:14:35Is this thing dangerous?
00:14:38Well, he has a very distinct smell and they say he's extremely dangerous.
00:14:45He can snap a man in half like a twig.
00:14:48I'm tired.
00:14:49I'm going to bed.
00:14:51Personally, I think that was just a bunch of crap.
00:14:54My story was way better.
00:14:56Well, it's getting late.
00:14:58We should all turn in.
00:14:58Shhh.
00:15:01Shhh.
00:15:02Shhh.
00:15:04So, is all that true about Sasquatch?
00:15:07It's Sasquatch.
00:15:08And, I don't know.
00:15:10Some people believe in him.
00:15:12Some people don't.
00:15:13Nobody's captured him to prove that he exists, but I like to think he's out there.
00:15:19That gives me the creeps thinking that he's out there.
00:15:21Well, don't worry.
00:15:22You'll know if he's around.
00:15:24Supposedly, he has a very distinct odor.
00:15:27I wonder what he smells like.
00:15:29Probably like the cafeteria after fish-stick day.
00:15:33Ew.
00:15:35I swear, this camping trip is the worst ever.
00:15:39I know.
00:15:39I can't wait till we get home.
00:15:41The sooner, the better.
00:15:42I know.
00:15:43Can you believe Marianne and her ridiculous stories?
00:15:46You didn't believe her?
00:15:47No, and don't tell me you believe that load of crap.
00:15:50I don't know.
00:15:51It just kind of scared me to think some giant ape lives around here.
00:15:54Aww.
00:15:55Did Morgan get all scared?
00:15:57Did you want me to make you feel all better?
00:16:03Marianne?
00:16:04Are you awake?
00:16:05Did you hear that noise?
00:16:07Is it scotch-wot?
00:16:09Ugh.
00:16:10I'm sass-wot.
00:16:12It's probably just an owl.
00:16:14Go back to sleep.
00:16:16It's just an owl.
00:16:18It's just an owl.
00:16:19It's just an owl.
00:16:20It's just an owl.
00:16:21It's just an owl.
00:16:23It's just an owl.
00:16:26It's just an owl.
00:16:42It's just an owl.
00:16:45Yeah, I've had old Darlene there ever since I was a deputy.
00:16:50You ever think about trading her in for a newer model?
00:16:53Yeah, well, the county keeps offering to get me new cruiser and I keep turning them down.
00:16:58I ain't ready to give her up just yet.
00:17:01Remember, son, you always
00:17:05dance with the girl that brought you.
00:17:08Ready to go? Yes, sir. Alrighty then, come on.
00:17:16What's going on?
00:17:18That's the woman that interviewed me last night. Looks like she's with that
00:17:22scientist that I brought in.
00:17:25You mind if we stop? Sure, we can do that.
00:17:38Looking to do another interview, Sheriff. Nah, we just stopped by to
00:17:42kind of see what was going on here.
00:17:44Well, stick around. I love having an audience.
00:17:47Is this your new deputy?
00:17:48Oh, sorry. Simone Jennings. This is Harlan James.
00:17:51He works for the Tattletail.
00:17:53He's also doing a story on Bigfoot.
00:17:55The Tattletail?
00:17:56Looks like I got some competition.
00:17:59Hey, Moe, we're ready.
00:18:01Sorry, Gemma, I have an interview to conduct.
00:18:03Alright.
00:18:05We're live in five, four, three, two...
00:18:13Bigfoot. Fact or myth?
00:18:16His existence has been debated for years.
00:18:19Adding to this controversy are several campers who have reported encounters with this legendary creature.
00:18:26I'm here with world-famous cryptozoologist, Professor Trent Grover.
00:18:31Professor. Yes?
00:18:33You've been called in to investigate.
00:18:35Were you able to find any trace of this mythical creature?
00:18:39Well, see this footprint?
00:18:42Oh.
00:18:43This footprint was taken down by the river.
00:18:46This is of an adolescent male.
00:18:49At least seven feet tall.
00:18:52Weight?
00:18:53400 pounds.
00:18:56Professor.
00:18:57Yes?
00:18:57Why the strain of recent activity?
00:19:00Well, this time of year is their mating season.
00:19:04I wouldn't confront one as they're liable to be extremely volatile,
00:19:10especially when they're horny.
00:19:16What else can you tell us about these creatures?
00:19:20Well, I can tell you a lot about these creatures.
00:19:23The general misconception is that they're very simple and primitive.
00:19:28However, I found them to be quite intelligent.
00:19:33In fact, I taught one to play catch in five minutes.
00:19:38Wait.
00:19:39Are you saying that you've actually had contact with these animals?
00:19:43Oh, yes.
00:19:45I even lived with a colony of Bigfoots for over a year when I was living up in Washington.
00:19:54I'm sorry.
00:19:55Did you say you lived with a colony of Bigfoots?
00:19:59Yes, exactly.
00:20:01It was an amazing experience.
00:20:04They welcomed me into their community and their society, and I was able to study their patterns and behaviors.
00:20:11What exactly did you learn about them?
00:20:15Well, I learned that they are extremely fond of garlic, and they love hot dogs, too.
00:20:25Yes.
00:20:25Oh!
00:20:26And they are able to mimic humans.
00:20:30Mimic humans?
00:20:31Yes.
00:20:31In fact, I once caught one pretending to smoke a cigarette.
00:20:36It was so cute.
00:20:38It looked like a huge monkey smoking.
00:20:41Well, thank you, Professor, for your time.
00:20:43Oh, yes.
00:20:43And then there was another time we were close to a village.
00:20:46I saw one actually using a urinal.
00:20:49Of course, he was using the wrong end, but he had the proper idea.
00:20:54Well, thank you, Professor.
00:20:55And do you know, Simone, may I call you Simone, there was this time in their colony that I taught
00:21:02one to play Iron Man on a ukulele.
00:21:05Thank you, Professor.
00:21:07And then it seems that when we were in a room.
00:21:08This has been Simone Jennings reporting live from Skull Mountain, Channel 15 News.
00:21:14And we're clear.
00:21:18That went well.
00:21:19Are you kidding me?
00:21:21That guy's nuttier than a pound of squirrel poop.
00:21:23Well, at least you look good on camera.
00:21:29So, Mr. James, how's your story coming along?
00:21:32Call me Harlan, and I haven't really started yet.
00:21:37I hope I can get what my boss wants.
00:21:39He's looking for something concrete.
00:21:43He's even offering an award for the capture of Bigfoot.
00:21:46What kind of reward?
00:21:4825 grand.
00:21:50Cash.
00:21:51Wow.
00:21:52For that kind of money, I might have to go buy a gun and go hunting myself.
00:21:56I know.
00:21:57I had the same thought.
00:22:00So, since you work for the Tattletale, I take it you believe in Bigfoot?
00:22:08I don't know.
00:22:09I'd like to, but it's hard when all you have is hearsay and blurry photographs.
00:22:15I just hope something happens real soon.
00:22:19Carolyn, you want to get going?
00:22:20Oh, yeah.
00:22:21I better get going.
00:22:23It was nice to meet you.
00:22:24It was nice to meet you, too.
00:22:26Maybe I'll see you around.
00:22:34Well, this is the place.
00:22:54It smells like wet dog.
00:22:58Are you lost, little guy?
00:23:01Oh, come here, little guy.
00:23:03Are you okay, little guy?
00:23:10You're not a dog, aren't you?
00:23:22You're not a dog, aren't you?
00:23:26I didn't know what I saw!
00:23:28I didn't know what I saw, but we did see him!
00:23:31He's right there!
00:24:04How was that?
00:24:06Boy, that sounded worse than the cat to get caught in the engine of my truck.
00:24:09Let me see that thing.
00:24:22There, that should do the trick.
00:24:28Boy, look what you've done!
00:24:30I just tuned that for you.
00:24:32Maybe you should just stick with the kazoo.
00:24:34I told you it's too hard.
00:24:38That's not something you see every day.
00:24:47Boy, what is wrong with you?
00:24:48A bunch of half-naked women go running by and you're staring at me.
00:24:52There is no way that you came from these loins.
00:24:57I wonder what they was running from.
00:25:01There is only one thing that can cause that kind of fear in a person.
00:25:05Bigfoot, get my gun. We're going hunting.
00:25:27Buford, we're going to eat soon. Get the salad ready.
00:25:30In a minute, dear. I'm just reading up on this latest diet craze.
00:25:37Put that trash down and start tossing the salad.
00:25:44What was that?
00:25:45What was what?
00:25:47That noise. I thought it heard some leaves rustling.
00:25:52It was probably just the win.
00:25:54How about you fix the salad, set the table.
00:25:57Food's almost done.
00:26:00There's something out there.
00:26:02Damn it! You and your imagination.
00:26:04Remember last year at the beach?
00:26:06You thought you saw a werewolf?
00:26:10Hey! I was protecting that beach.
00:26:13They should have been thanking me instead of threatening to sue me.
00:26:18And if I told you something's out there...
00:26:45It is so hot. I can't believe how hot...
00:26:50Oh my god. Is he doing what I think he's doing?
00:26:58Gross! Come on, let's get out of here.
00:27:16Eddie, where the hell are we?
00:27:19Let's see.
00:27:25The sun rises in the west and sets in the east.
00:27:31The sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
00:27:37What? Are you sure?
00:27:40I know I've seen it set in the east before.
00:27:45Give me that map before you hurt yourself.
00:27:47I know these woods like I know the back of my hand.
00:27:51And I don't know where the hell we're at.
00:27:54Hey, look at that.
00:27:56Guys.
00:27:59Check this out.
00:28:02What do we do?
00:28:03We follow the trail, idiot!
00:28:20Let's go, Skip. They're taking off without us.
00:28:23Do we have everything?
00:28:25I think so.
00:28:27Alright, let's go.
00:28:48Where are you going? The party went the other way.
00:28:51Relax. It's a shortcut.
00:28:53We'll beat them to the campsite.
00:28:55By the time they get there, we'll already be drunk
00:28:58while they'll still be picking dirt out of their teeth.
00:29:14Oh, come on!
00:29:16Not now!
00:29:17Son of a bitch!
00:29:22Son of a bitch!
00:29:40Dammit!
00:29:42What's wrong, baby?
00:29:44Looks like I blew the tranny.
00:29:47Well, I'm sure someone will be along shortly.
00:29:51I don't know. This road seems pretty secluded.
00:29:56I thought you said this was a shortcut.
00:29:59Well, I assumed it was.
00:30:02Hell, Skip! What are we supposed to do now?
00:30:10We hoof it.
00:30:32Oh my god!
00:30:35When I say run, you run.
00:30:41You're so screwed!
00:30:42Well, that's reassuring!
00:30:48Get your ass up.
00:30:50What the hell?
00:30:55You folks having some trouble?
00:30:57Yeah, my truck died and we need to ride back to the RV park.
00:31:01Can you guys give us a lift?
00:31:02I'm sorry, we've been hiking these woods for hours.
00:31:05Name's Chester, this is my son Billy Bobob.
00:31:09I'm Skip, and this is Patty.
00:31:11Pleased to make your acquaintance.
00:31:12Boy, move your ass.
00:31:16Folks, you'll have to wait till morning to get out of here.
00:31:20I mean, it's gonna be dark soon.
00:31:22It's okay, we've got flashlights.
00:31:27Darling, you're gonna need more than flashlights to stop what's out there.
00:31:30What are you talking about?
00:31:33I'm talking about Bigfoot.
00:31:36That's just a myth, like the Loch Ness Monster.
00:31:40Bigfoot's real.
00:31:41Seen him myself on occasion.
00:31:43In fact, he just got through terrorizing some women down by the river.
00:31:46Me and the boy have been out tracking him.
00:31:49We can help you get out in the morning, but you best stay with us tonight.
00:31:54I don't know.
00:31:58We've got food we're willing to share.
00:32:01Come on, Skip.
00:32:03They've got guns.
00:32:05And food.
00:32:06We'll be safe.
00:32:10Okay, we'll stay.
00:32:12But it's not because I believe in Bigfoot or anything.
00:32:16It's just, I don't want Patty to trip and spin her ankle in the dark.
00:32:22What a gentleman.
00:32:26Come on.
00:32:26I've also got some supplies in the truck.
00:32:36Hey, maybe we should go get some firewood, Daddy.
00:32:37Good idea, boy.
00:32:38Get busy.
00:32:39Boy's gonna get some firewood.
00:32:45I was right here raking leaves about six months ago.
00:32:49Yes, about two weeks ago.
00:32:51Something knocked over my trash cans.
00:32:53I saw this thing come out from behind the rock.
00:32:57So, what was it?
00:32:59Yeah, I know it's a little blurry, but that's Bigfoot.
00:33:02Bigfoot.
00:33:02Poe.
00:33:03It was Bigfoot.
00:33:06I looked up and I saw him right up there on that hill.
00:33:09What happened, if I may ask?
00:33:12Went in the house.
00:33:14He got me my shotgun and came out and he was gone.
00:33:16Out of nowhere, I saw this thing standing right in the middle of the road.
00:33:21Pretty sure he stole my car, too.
00:33:22No one comes on my property without my permission, you hear me?
00:33:26Are you sure it wasn't a bear?
00:33:29Are you sure it wasn't raccoons?
00:33:31I think he got a photo of it.
00:33:33Good thing for him I haven't seen him since.
00:33:35Yeah?
00:33:37It wasn't Bigfoot.
00:33:38Let me tell you something, son.
00:33:39Mr. James.
00:33:41I know what I saw.
00:33:42Bigfoot or no Bigfoot?
00:33:43No it is.
00:33:45Hmm.
00:33:50You getting all that?
00:33:52That's right.
00:33:55Are you guys done?
00:33:57Nah, I just stopped by to use the restroom.
00:33:59Any messages?
00:33:59Yes.
00:34:00The mayor called.
00:34:01He wants you to call him back.
00:34:03Alright.
00:34:03Your wife also called.
00:34:05Again?
00:34:06Alrighty.
00:34:07I'll take care of this later on, okay?
00:34:09Okay.
00:34:10Alright, I'll be right back, alright?
00:34:12Can I get you a glass of water?
00:34:15Oh, no.
00:34:16Thank you, though.
00:34:33Hey, it's Harlan.
00:34:35I know you wouldn't be calling unless you had good news.
00:34:38Did you get my story?
00:34:40No, not yet.
00:34:42Then why are you calling?
00:34:45Well, I've talked to a few people and I don't really think that there's a story here.
00:34:51James, let me explain something to you.
00:34:54You're a tabloid journalist.
00:34:56You get the story no matter what.
00:34:59I know, but it's hard because-
00:35:01Hey, I don't want excuses.
00:35:03I want results.
00:35:05If you have to shave a hundred monkeys and then glue their hair to some homeless guy to get your
00:35:10picture, then that's what you do.
00:35:12Got it?
00:35:13Understood.
00:35:16Good.
00:35:17Now, the next time we talk, you'll have my story.
00:35:21Right?
00:35:22Yes, sir.
00:35:26Well, that coffee kind of runs right through me, you know.
00:35:29Alright, Rachel.
00:35:30Okay, Sheriff.
00:35:31Be safe.
00:35:32Alright, I will.
00:35:33Shall we?
00:35:40Thank you for the food, Chester.
00:35:41Oh, you're quite welcome, darling.
00:35:44Do you mind if I ask you something?
00:35:46Shoot.
00:35:48You said you've seen Bigfoot.
00:35:50What's it like?
00:35:53Well, he's all hairy.
00:35:55Bigger than a bear.
00:35:58Ugly as sin.
00:35:59I've been hunting him for years and ain't never caught him.
00:36:03Shouldn't you be running away from something like that instead of chasing it?
00:36:08Most folks would.
00:36:09I got a score to settle with that son of a bitch.
00:36:13See, my brother Riff, he disappeared one day, showed up about a week later, all beaten and bow-legged.
00:36:22Well, what happened?
00:36:26Well, he was out hunting for some dinner, and he got knocked unconscious.
00:36:33And he woke up in a cave lying next to a female Bigfoot.
00:36:38Well, she had her way with him and he just couldn't talk about it.
00:36:44That's horrible.
00:36:46Well, that's not the half of it.
00:36:49He wound up in the Himalayas, you know, trying to clear his head and get away from all this.
00:36:57Well, he was out taking a leak in the snow one day and got punched in the head and knocked
00:37:02unconscious.
00:37:02He woke up in a Yeti cave.
00:37:05You've got to be kidding me.
00:37:07I wish I was, friend.
00:37:09He found out he had been violated.
00:37:12Again!
00:37:15And poor old Riff, he ain't never been the same since.
00:37:23Oh, you folks want some more beans?
00:37:27No.
00:37:29We're good.
00:37:33I think we're gonna turn in.
00:37:35Come on, Patty.
00:37:45What are you doing? Those hillbillies are right outside.
00:37:48Oh, they won't mind.
00:37:50Besides, Daddy needs his sugar.
00:38:24What do you want, boy?
00:38:29Where's Bigfoot?
00:38:30Give me my gun.
00:38:40You did it, Daddy.
00:38:42Come on, let's finish this.
00:38:44I want to see its face when I pull the trigger.
00:38:47What's that?
00:38:50What's going on? I thought I heard a gunshot.
00:38:52I did it. I finally shot that bastard.
00:39:03Bigfoot looked a lot like Skip.
00:39:06That is Skip, you idiot.
00:39:08Help him up.
00:39:12You shot me in the ass.
00:39:14Take it easy, fella.
00:39:16What are you doing out here in this crazy outfit?
00:39:18It was cold, and I had to use the bathroom.
00:39:21We thought you were Bigfoot.
00:39:24It was hot.
00:39:27What am I supposed to do with this chunk taken out of my ass?
00:39:31Well, I think there's a first aid kit in the truck.
00:39:35Well, thank you, darling.
00:39:36You can go on back to sleep now.
00:39:38Are you sure you don't need my help?
00:39:41Nah. It's nothing serious.
00:39:43I believe we can handle it from here on.
00:39:46Alright.
00:39:49Get me out of here.
00:39:56Hey, baby.
00:39:58Do those hillbillies fix you up outside?
00:40:02I know it hurts. Come lay next to mama.
00:40:08Baby, you really need to take a shower.
00:40:13Are you going to stay wrapped up in that rug all night?
00:40:17Looks like someone's feeling a little better.
00:40:21Baby, that tickles.
00:40:23Oh.
00:40:25Ow, that hurts.
00:40:26Stop complaining.
00:40:27I complain too.
00:40:28For the last time, no.
00:40:29Now hold still.
00:40:31Come on.
00:40:32Jesus.
00:40:41Baby, if you're going to go to the bathroom, at least take that rug off so you don't get shot
00:40:47again.
00:40:51There you are. Good as new.
00:40:55Yeah.
00:40:57You're fine. It's just a scratch. You'll be up and humping in no time.
00:41:07Thanks, Chester. I owe you one.
00:41:10Bet your ass.
00:41:12I help.
00:41:30Daddy's home.
00:41:32What do you say we?
00:41:34Start the fire one more time.
00:41:37Again?
00:41:38Baby, I could use a little tension right now.
00:41:41Yeah, I know.
00:41:42But I'm completely worn out.
00:41:45When did you get so...
00:41:47Big?
00:41:49What are you talking about?
00:41:52I've always been big.
00:41:55All I can say is...
00:41:57Wow.
00:41:59Well, thank you.
00:42:14Sheriff.
00:42:16What's your honest take on all this Bigfoot stuff?
00:42:19Am I just wasting my time up here?
00:42:22Hmm.
00:42:24Well, whether he's real or not, one thing's for certain.
00:42:28This is Bigfoot country.
00:42:31I've lived here all my life, and I've never had an encounter or sighting or anything like that.
00:42:36But I've got friends and relatives who'll swear to what they've seen.
00:42:40It's all a matter of what you want to believe.
00:42:44I mean...
00:42:45I've talked to over a dozen people, and I've heard some of the weirdest Bigfoot stories.
00:42:50Hmm.
00:42:51But there's one common denominator.
00:42:54Nobody's ever gotten hurt.
00:42:57So what are you saying?
00:42:59Why do people make him out to be such a monster?
00:43:03Well, Mr. James...
00:43:06It wouldn't be any good if there were no evil.
00:43:10So, uh, anybody, uh, claim the bounty yet?
00:43:13No, not yet.
00:43:15I'm sure somebody will catch him.
00:43:17No one has yet.
00:43:19Hey, bud.
00:43:19You almost bagged him once, didn't you?
00:43:22What?
00:43:23Wait.
00:43:25You saw Bigfoot?
00:43:26Sure did.
00:43:28I was down there by the river, hunting deer.
00:43:32Boy, I had my shotgun locked on him.
00:43:35He saw me.
00:43:37Turned around, and walked away.
00:43:41Why didn't you pull the trigger?
00:43:43Because he didn't give me a reason to.
00:43:45I mean, he's out there in his natural habitat.
00:43:48Probably trying to find some food.
00:43:50I figure he's out there trying to survive like the rest of us.
00:43:57Can I get a vodka and cranberry, please?
00:44:00Sheriff?
00:44:01Mr. James?
00:44:02Burning the midnight oil?
00:44:04Something like that.
00:44:07Well, it's getting late.
00:44:08I should probably get going.
00:44:10I'll give you a holler if I hear anything.
00:44:13Do you guys serve food here?
00:44:16No. Just alcohol.
00:44:18And there's an all-night diner down the road.
00:44:20You wanna go check it out?
00:44:22I'm really starving.
00:44:24No.
00:44:26I think I'm good.
00:44:28Well, I think I'll go check that place out.
00:44:31I'll see you later.
00:44:35Yeah.
00:44:38All I'm saying is that television's a dying medium.
00:44:42Everything's online now.
00:44:44So wouldn't that make your tablet obsolete too?
00:44:48No.
00:44:50There'll always be tablets.
00:44:52People always need more junk to buy at the counter.
00:44:57No matter what's going on in the world,
00:45:01everybody wants to read about Elvis and aliens,
00:45:06even the world's fattest cat.
00:45:08I must have missed that issue.
00:45:10Are you kidding me?
00:45:11That's every issue.
00:45:14We're always trying to convince people into believe in things that...
00:45:18don't really exist.
00:45:20I know what you mean.
00:45:21The news is always preying on people's fears.
00:45:25We're only supposed to report the facts, but...
00:45:28there's no such thing as impartiality.
00:45:31There's always an agenda.
00:45:32Last call.
00:45:37I guess we should go.
00:45:38Where are you staying?
00:45:42Across the street at the...
00:45:44Blackhawk Lodge.
00:46:08Blackhawk Lodge.
00:46:10Blackhawk Lodge.
00:46:11Well...
00:46:11This is my stop.
00:46:18I guess I'll see you later.
00:46:45It's later.
00:47:12Hello?
00:47:13Morning, sunshine!
00:47:15Barry?
00:47:16How's my story coming?
00:47:19Slowly but surely.
00:47:22I got a couple leads that, uh...
00:47:24Get any pictures yet?
00:47:25Well, no, but I, um...
00:47:29What good is the story without the proof?
00:47:32I know, I just, it's...
00:47:35Listen to me, James.
00:47:37I really need you to get to the bottom of this story.
00:47:41If you can't do that,
00:47:43then I'll find someone who can
00:47:45and you can go back to making copies
00:47:47and fetching my coffee for me!
00:47:50Is that what you want?
00:47:53No, sir.
00:47:54Now get your sorry ass out of bed
00:47:56and go get my story!
00:48:03Who's that?
00:48:04My boss.
00:48:07I gotta get to work.
00:48:12I think you'd better get down there
00:48:14to make sure we get our story.
00:48:25Now I know why I don't usually drink this much.
00:48:29I could really go for something to eat.
00:48:31You wanna get breakfast?
00:48:33Sure.
00:48:40Hello?
00:48:41Hey, it's Bubba.
00:48:42Listen, I just got a report of another encounter.
00:48:45Seems like one of the local women
00:48:47got up close and personal a few weeks ago with Bigfoot.
00:48:51Well, can I talk to her?
00:48:53Well, you can try.
00:48:54Her name's Julie Lewis.
00:48:58She runs a local children's store down.
00:49:01It's called Just For Kids.
00:49:03You might wanna hear what she has to say.
00:49:04That is, if she'll talk to you.
00:49:06Where's the store located?
00:49:10Alright.
00:49:12Thanks, Sheriff.
00:49:15What's wrong?
00:49:17Looks like we just got our first lead.
00:49:28Damn it, boy.
00:49:29What the hell's wrong with you?
00:49:30You could've blown my brains out.
00:49:32Sorry, Daddy.
00:49:33Quiet, boy.
00:49:36You smell that?
00:49:38It's the smell of the beast.
00:49:40Are you sure that's Bigfoot?
00:49:42Yep.
00:49:42I've smelled that stink before.
00:49:45He's so close I can taste him.
00:49:48Uh, Daddy?
00:49:49Quiet, boy.
00:49:51But, uh...
00:49:51You're gonna get us killed, boy.
00:49:54What?
00:49:58Oh, son of a bitch.
00:50:01Why didn't you say something?
00:50:07I swear, there's no way you could've come from these loins.
00:50:12Come on, boy.
00:50:12Let's get out of here.
00:50:28Hi.
00:50:29I'll be right with you.
00:50:30Thank you so much.
00:50:31Oh, thank you.
00:50:38Is there anything I could help you folks with today?
00:50:40Yes.
00:50:41Sheriff Lopez sent us over here.
00:50:43He said you had an encounter with Bigfoot.
00:50:46Oh.
00:50:48You must be the reporter and the guy from the tabloid.
00:50:51He told me you might be stopping in.
00:50:54Miss Lewis, would you mind telling us what happened?
00:50:58I don't think so.
00:50:59Any information you provide would be helpful.
00:51:03No, I don't think so.
00:51:05I didn't even want to tell the sheriff.
00:51:07Please, Miss Lewis.
00:51:09It's important.
00:51:12Well, okay.
00:51:15I've lived up here my whole life and never once did I believe in Bigfoot.
00:51:19But now, I know he's real.
00:51:23It happened several weeks ago.
00:51:26There's a spot by the river where I go to sunbathe.
00:51:29But then, I suddenly felt a calm about the creature.
00:51:33Like he didn't want to hurt me.
00:51:35Then he was gone.
00:51:36Just like that.
00:51:41So, all he wanted were your panties.
00:51:47This happened several weeks ago.
00:51:49How come you waited so long to say something?
00:51:52Well, I didn't want everyone to think I was crazy.
00:51:56But when I found out about the bounty, I figured I should tell the authorities.
00:52:00I'm afraid someone will kill it.
00:52:02Would that be such a bad thing?
00:52:05It might be the only one of its kind.
00:52:07Miss?
00:52:08I'll be right with you.
00:52:10Can I take this?
00:52:11Oh, no. Go ahead.
00:52:13Thank you for your time, Miss Lewis.
00:52:18So, what do you think?
00:52:23I'm thinking we should go looking for this thing ourselves.
00:52:30Say, you folks from around here?
00:52:32Not really.
00:52:34Well, you folks better be careful.
00:52:35There's been a lot of Bigfoot sightings around here.
00:52:40Weren't you on television?
00:52:42Yes, I was.
00:52:44Wow, you're pretty. You're in person.
00:52:48Say, if you're not doing anything, maybe a little later we could...
00:52:52She's busy.
00:52:55So, where are you heading?
00:52:59I don't know. Got any suggestions?
00:53:01The swimming hole's real nice. It's down the ways.
00:53:04Want me to draw your map?
00:53:05Yeah.
00:53:09There you go.
00:53:11Oh, that'll be $14.99.
00:53:13Dude.
00:53:14That's totally him.
00:53:16No way.
00:53:19He's more...taller.
00:53:21More...hairier.
00:53:23Excuse me?
00:53:25What are you guys talking about?
00:53:28Bigfoot, dude.
00:53:31What about him?
00:53:32He looks nothing like the postcard.
00:53:35Yeah, he does, man.
00:53:37No way.
00:53:38How do you two know what Bigfoot looks like?
00:53:44Because...
00:53:45We were out partying with him last night.
00:53:47Yeah!
00:53:51We were out in the woods, getting nicely toasty.
00:53:57When...we heard a noise.
00:54:00Then, out of the blue, there he is, standing right in front of us.
00:54:05So, we asked if he wanted to join us.
00:54:32All I can say is...
00:54:34What are you saying?
00:55:10You mean to tell me you got high with Bigfoot?
00:55:13No, dude.
00:55:15He got wasted with Bigfoot.
00:55:18That's right.
00:55:19Do you know where he is?
00:55:21Uh-huh.
00:55:22Sorry.
00:55:22We passed out.
00:55:24We woke up.
00:55:25He was gone, like, gone, gone.
00:55:28Where were you guys last night?
00:55:30Oh, uh, here's a...
00:55:33Swimming hole.
00:55:35Swimming hole.
00:55:36That's right.
00:55:36I guess we know where to look.
00:55:42Hey, man.
00:55:44If you see him, can't you tell him to give me back my ball?
00:55:48He took your ball?
00:55:51Oh, don't worry about it.
00:55:53We'll buy a new one.
00:56:04There he is.
00:56:06I see him.
00:56:07Get down, boy.
00:56:09Somebody's shooting at us.
00:56:11Eddie, I'm scared.
00:56:13Hold your fire down there.
00:56:15You're going to kill somebody.
00:56:17Chester?
00:56:19Eddie?
00:56:20What the hell are you doing?
00:56:23Sorry.
00:56:24We thought you was Bigfoot.
00:56:26We?
00:56:28Who else is down there with you?
00:56:30Me, Sonny, and Roger.
00:56:35Hold your fire.
00:56:36I'm coming down.
00:56:38Let's go, boy.
00:56:39Don't do anything to embarrass me.
00:56:53Chester Scroggins?
00:56:54You old goat?
00:56:55What are you doing out here in that outfit?
00:57:01Hunting Bigfoot.
00:57:03After the reward money, too, huh?
00:57:05Reward?
00:57:06What reward?
00:57:08$25,000.
00:57:09Cash.
00:57:10You mean somebody's willing to pay money for that bastard?
00:57:14I'll shoot him for free.
00:57:15You mean to tell me you don't know anything about that reward?
00:57:18I don't know nothing about no money.
00:57:21I'm just hunting for the hell of it.
00:57:22I got a score to settle with that bastard.
00:57:25Boyle, sent you out here, too.
00:57:27Why don't you join us?
00:57:29Oh, no.
00:57:30I'm not splitting my reward five different ways with that son of a bitch.
00:57:35Well, I might just let you shake my hand when I haul his corpse in.
00:57:43Boyle, what did I say about embarrassing me?
00:57:46Chester, what in the world are you feeding that kid?
00:57:50Come on.
00:57:51Let's get out of here before we all pass out.
00:57:54And good luck.
00:57:55You'll need it.
00:57:56Oh, and by the way, you need to get out of them ghillie suits before somebody takes a shot at
00:58:01you and takes a chunk out of your ass.
00:58:07Sorry, Daddy.
00:58:08I couldn't hold it in.
00:58:12There is no way that you came from my loins.
00:58:16Let's go, boy.
00:58:17And take that suit off.
00:58:18You look ridiculous.
00:58:28I loved the swim afterwards.
00:58:32And that was just...
00:58:34What is that thing?
00:58:37I have no idea.
00:58:39It kind of looks like a bear.
00:58:46There's one stressed out bear.
00:58:52What are you doing?
00:58:54We've got to tell someone about this.
00:59:00Yes, Rachel.
00:59:02Yeah, go ahead and transfer the call.
00:59:04Sheriff Lopez speaking.
00:59:08Ma'am, could you repeat that?
00:59:11Really?
00:59:14And you're absolutely positive?
00:59:18Where did you say this happened at?
00:59:22And you're certain about what you saw, huh?
00:59:27And what was your name again, ma'am?
00:59:30All righty, much obliged.
00:59:32Thanks for notifying us.
00:59:43Hey, that's Bubba.
00:59:46You ain't gonna believe this one.
01:00:06I think this is the spot where the fishermen and schoolgirls saw them.
01:00:10The Waltis weren't too far from here.
01:00:14Maybe we should go up to where those girls were camping.
01:00:25See any signs of footprints?
01:00:30No.
01:00:32Nothing.
01:00:37Hold it.
01:00:38Right there.
01:00:40Whoa, take it easy, mister.
01:00:42What?
01:00:44Don't move.
01:00:46Please, just let us go and we'll be out of your hair.
01:00:50Behind you.
01:00:53What the?
01:00:54Oh my god.
01:00:56Is that what I think it is?
01:00:58Yep.
01:00:59That's Bigfoot.
01:01:06It's okay.
01:01:07You folks are safe now.
01:01:13What are you planning on doing?
01:01:15I'm gonna shoot him right between the eyes.
01:01:18Then maybe make a vest out of his skin.
01:01:22Soup out of his bones.
01:01:24Look, if it's about the money, there is no money.
01:01:28I should know.
01:01:29I'm the reporter from the newspaper.
01:01:33Tabloid.
01:01:34Whatever.
01:01:35Bottom line, there was never any money.
01:01:38We just said there was so we'd get people to talk.
01:01:40I don't care about no money.
01:01:42This is personal.
01:01:44My brother was raped by one of these things twice.
01:01:48Um, could you repeat that last part again?
01:01:53Say, good night on the racing.
01:01:56Look, Chupacagra.
01:01:58What?
01:01:58Where?
01:02:00Dammit.
01:02:02What the hell did you do that for?
01:02:03I couldn't let you shoot him.
01:02:06Come on, boys.
01:02:07Get in the way.
01:02:11Oh, I'm gonna go bruise my hand bone, Daddy.
01:02:14Oh, the love of God.
01:02:15There's no way you sprang from these loins.
01:02:17Now get your ass up.
01:02:18He's getting away.
01:02:28You had your story right in front of you.
01:02:30Why'd you do it?
01:02:34Because sometimes, sometimes the myth is more important than the truth.
01:02:43Hey, guys.
01:02:45Check this out.
01:02:47Looks like a cave.
01:02:50Well, what are you waiting for?
01:02:51Get in there.
01:02:53I ain't going in.
01:02:55Eddie, you go.
01:02:57There's no way I'm going in first.
01:03:00Fine.
01:03:01I'll go in first.
01:03:02But I get a bigger cut of the reward.
01:03:17What kind of sick freak lives here?
01:03:20I don't know.
01:03:22Is your cousin real back in town?
01:03:25No.
01:03:26Not that I know.
01:03:27Get Bigfoot.
01:03:29You really should take care of this, pervert.
01:03:32Oh, my God.
01:03:33What's that?
01:03:34What the hell?
01:03:42I still can't believe what just happened.
01:03:45I know.
01:03:47What are you going to do?
01:03:53I guess I'm going to tell my boss I didn't get the story.
01:03:58Whatever happens, happens.
01:04:01I'll probably go back to being the copy boy.
01:04:04I'm sure everything will be okay.
01:04:08There you are.
01:04:10I've been looking all over for you.
01:04:12What's going on?
01:04:12They got him.
01:04:14Got who?
01:04:14Bigfoot.
01:04:15They finally got him.
01:04:26What the hell happened to you guys?
01:04:29Nothing.
01:04:30Give us some whiskey.
01:04:31You guys don't drink whiskey.
01:04:33We do today.
01:04:36All right.
01:04:52Keep them coming, bud.
01:05:08All right.
01:05:09Come on.
01:05:14Let's get out of here right now.
01:05:16Let's go.
01:05:16Watch your step.
01:05:18Let's go.
01:05:19Let's go.
01:05:22Let's go.
01:05:22Let's go.
01:05:30What's going on?
01:05:32Looks like they caught Bigfoot.
01:05:34Well, it's about time.
01:05:36Folks, we just had a break in the Bigfoot case.
01:05:39Here's the thing that's been causing us trouble this whole weekend.
01:05:42Nothing more than a man dressed up like an ape.
01:05:45Sheriff, you've got to believe me.
01:05:47This wasn't my idea.
01:05:48My boss sent me.
01:05:49I didn't do anything.
01:05:52We caught him in the woods.
01:05:54He had a bunch of makeup and costumes in the car.
01:05:56Claims he works for the Tattletail.
01:05:59Harlan.
01:06:00Harlan, is that you?
01:06:01It's me, Kenny, the copy boy.
01:06:04Tell the sheriff you know me.
01:06:05Tell him Barry sent me.
01:06:06This was all Barry's idea.
01:06:08Harlan, you know this man.
01:06:10Sheriff, I've never seen that guy before.
01:06:12I thought not.
01:06:15This was just all a big joke.
01:06:16Yeah, well, those campers didn't think it was such a joke.
01:06:20Think your little hoax wasted our whole weekend here?
01:06:23But I just got here, honest.
01:06:25I didn't do anything.
01:06:26Harlan, help me out.
01:06:27All right, quiet you.
01:06:29Now I've got a cell in there with your name on it.
01:06:31No, I didn't do anything.
01:06:33No, my boss sent me.
01:06:35It was all his idea.
01:06:36Come on, Harlan.
01:06:37All right, that's enough.
01:06:38Folks, nothing more to see here.
01:06:39You're just a man in a monkey's loop.
01:06:42Come on, Harlan.
01:06:43Your boss sent him?
01:06:46It appears so.
01:06:48So what are we going to do?
01:06:53Keep quiet.
01:06:55Go about our lives.
01:06:59So, I guess that's it then.
01:07:03Well, it doesn't have to be.
01:07:06I've got my room for one more night.
01:07:08I feel like playing the sunbather and panty thief.
01:07:12Sounds like a plan.
01:07:24Get up, boy.
01:07:25Daddy, I'm tired.
01:07:27My foot hurts, my butt hurts, and there's a rock in my shoe.
01:07:35Hell, I'm tired, too.
01:07:39Yeah, we tried.
01:07:41We failed.
01:07:44Maybe we should just stick to hunting UFOs.
01:07:50Let me help you with that stone.
01:08:14Let's go home, boy.
01:08:21Are you sure you guys don't want to talk about it?
01:08:24Bud, you wouldn't believe us if we told you.
01:08:27I'm a bartender.
01:08:28I've heard every story imaginable.
01:08:31Come on, lay it on me.
01:08:39Well, we was out looking for Bigfoot, and we found this cave.
01:08:43We went in, and we found all these pairs of woman's underwear and empty beer bottles.
01:08:48While we were looking around, we discovered we weren't alone.
01:08:52Next thing we know, the cave went dark, and we couldn't see a thing.
01:08:56Hell, we woke up in the middle of the forest with our pants around our ankles and a shotgun shot.
01:09:02No, I'm going to have to stop you boys right there.
01:09:05Maybe there are some stories that shouldn't be told.
01:09:13There you go.
01:09:15Consider it on the house.
01:09:19All I'm saying is, maybe we're the aliens, man.
01:09:24Man, like, what if there's creatures out there afraid of us?
01:09:33He just totally blew my mind.
01:09:42You're crazy, man.
01:09:44Yeah.
01:09:47Wait.
01:09:49What did he say?
01:09:50He said, he said, uh...
01:09:57Dude, I have no idea what he said.
01:10:02Yeah.
01:10:04Oh, shit.
01:10:04He said, let's go.
01:10:10I can't.
01:10:14No.
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