- 9 hours ago
OMG! My Snow White is a Man 🍿🍿🍿
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:04sorry i what's got you so focused you forgot how to walk
00:10get back i give it back beg me
00:20get off me nerd
00:28don't laugh shut the hell up
00:39go pick that ball up or i'm gonna make you regret it
00:50let him go oh come on marcus you mess with him every day now you're playing hero
00:57only i get to bully him
01:01touch him again and i'll twist your head off and use it as a soccer ball
01:07you okay mind your own business he's right this is all your fault and now you're acting like some
01:12hero marcus listen to me the person i hate most in this world
01:18is you
01:22lucas i bully you because i fucking like you
01:31lucas you're home i made you your favorite
01:34hot cocoa spare me the fake nice i know what you're doing
01:38you you know you're trying to win me over but let me make this clear
01:42you will never be the lady of this house
01:48what the hell is that were you trying to poison me
01:58your father won't marry me because of you if you're alive i'll never inherit his fortune
02:04so i have to get rid of you
02:06if my dad finds out you tried to hurt me he'll never marry a psycho like you
02:11too bad you won't get the chance to tell him
02:14die
02:21marcus what are you doing here i came down the chimney
02:23lucas i need to explain why i mess with you
02:42let go of me
02:55okay either i'm dead or i blacked out at a renaissance fair
02:59what are you a flying paper cut
03:02ah our prince charming is finally awake i am the guardian sprite of fairy tales
03:06you awaken me so i brought you into this storybook
03:13oh my god i look like a rejected disney extra
03:17why am i dressed like prince chanam's cousin who sells essential oils
03:21how can i leave this ridiculous place
03:25your highness the king commands you to depart at once to marry the princess snow white of the neighboring kingdom
03:30snow white absolutely not i'm gay i'm not about to drag some innocent girl into a straight marriage starter pack
03:37that's emotional terrorism
03:40you have got to be kidding me
03:42good morning princess snow white sleep well
03:46i'm a guy do you see the stubble the adam's apple the entire male anatomagy package
03:50hmm yeah that's not supposed to happen
03:54okay looks like we've got a role assignment error
03:57let me file a ticket with fairy tale tech support
04:01oh great so how long is the wait time three business centuries
04:04why won't this thing come off i want men's clothes pants a hoodie literally anything with sleeves that aren't made
04:11in
04:11can't your character is snow white snow white has a dress it's in the contract
04:16i never signed anything
04:18you did you just didn't read the terms and conditions
04:20like everyone else
04:22look you got unlimited dresses fresh options daily
04:26it's basically princess netflix
04:31no no no no stop
04:33all right
04:34ready to meet your prince charming
04:36he'll be here soon
04:37to marry you
04:39what i'm straight i don't like men
04:41tell me how to get out of this nightmare
04:43easy you just have to truly fall in love with prince charming
04:46you're insane
04:49you inherited your father's heroic masculinity
04:53princess the queen request your presence
04:59what is it oh my god lucas you're snow white
05:06this is amazing the evil queen yeah that tracks you're dressed like a walking jewelry store afraid people might miss
05:14how greedy you are
05:15oh my dear lucas in here i'm the queen i have everything and honestly i'm in love with this place
05:24and you are the key back to reality so if i want to stay here i'll have to kill you
05:32you're sure he's the coldest killer in the kingdom
05:37yes your majesty
05:39he's the infamous hunter nicknamed
05:41mr alpha male
05:42i hate women
05:43especially women prettier than me
05:45so snow white the most beautiful cannot be allowed to live
05:52leave your snow white to me
06:06die snow white
06:13snow white is a man
06:16a man and he's hot
06:20who the hell are you
06:23i'm your secret lover
06:26snow white's taste is a felony
06:28i get it
06:29you're the queen's assassin
06:31she sent you to kill me
06:32she told me to eliminate you
06:34she just forgot to mention you're a man
06:36and exactly my type
06:39i've changed my mind
06:41a face like yours
06:43i couldn't possibly pull the trigger
06:47you don't come any closer
06:48the entire palace is under the queen's control
06:51she won't stop until you're dead
06:53but i can protect you
06:55whether you come with me
06:56is your choice
06:58you
06:59protect me
07:00that's right
07:01i'm the coldest killer alive
07:03mr alpha male
07:05he actually let that little trot escape
07:08issue a kingdom-wide manhunt now
07:12a princess with an adam's apple
07:14chest hair shouldn't be hard to spot
07:18for the last time i am not marrying snow white
07:20i only want lucas
07:21your highness
07:22bad news
07:23snow white has gone missing
07:25missing
07:26perfect
07:27this snow white has a suspicious amount of testosterone
07:30wait
07:31snow white is lucas
07:38i can't run anymore
07:43hide
07:47i'll go distract them
07:48you head east
07:50and find your fiancee
07:51prince charming
07:52he will protect you
07:54but what about you
07:55don't worry
07:56i'm a mr alpha male
07:57a few guards can't hurt me
08:00remember
08:01never enter the enchanted forest
08:03there are seven total psychos in there
08:05nobody who goes in ever makes it out alive
08:11damn
08:12he's handsome
08:13too bad he doesn't like men
08:15wait
08:16does he actually like men or not
08:18hey
08:19you ugly freaks
08:21come and catch me
08:25damn this dress
08:27damn the queen
08:29damn this fairy tale
08:35princess snow white
08:36her majesty request your return to the palace
08:40and what if i say no
08:42then you'll suffer a little
08:48marcus
08:49what the hell is this jerk doing here
08:51as long as i'm here
08:52nobody can lay a finger on him
08:54someone thinks a little too highly of themselves
09:02what are you doing
09:04stop it
09:05behold the unstoppable secret technique
09:07tickle attack
09:15are you okay
09:18you're wearing a prince's uniform
09:21you're prince charming
09:24no no no
09:25if you're prince charming i'd rather die or stuck here forever
09:28lucas still hates me
09:30i should hide my identity for now
09:32and give him time
09:33i'm not
09:36i'm not prince charming
09:37i'm his half brother
09:39prince charging
09:40prince
09:41prince charging
09:43what the hell is that
09:44look
09:44bright enough to light a whole kingdom
09:46that's why they call me prince charging
09:50even your horse looks gay as hell
09:54i'm heading to find my brother prince charming
09:56why don't we go together
09:57no thanks
09:59there are wild beasts around here
10:00it's dangerous alone
10:01well
10:02even if i'm wearing this stupid dress
10:04i'm still a man
10:05i'm not afraid of any beasts
10:14so
10:15want to reconsider my offer
10:16and just so you know
10:18there's more than one snake out here
10:20damn it
10:21i might actually need this jerk to protect me
10:24fine
10:25whatever
10:30stop
10:31in broad daylight
10:32what are you doing
10:34fixing my shirt
10:36what did you think
10:39damn
10:40his body is actually amazing
10:43if you want to look
10:44you can be bold
10:45i'd be honored if my muscles have your approval
10:49who's looking
10:50narcissist
10:52then do you want to touch them
10:55what
10:56what are you doing
10:59i know you want me to
11:01i don't
11:05kissing a man
11:06actually
11:08feels pretty good
11:21baby open up a little more
11:23no
11:27come on
11:28no marcus
11:30oh
11:36thank god it was just a dream
11:37lucas lucas
11:39get a grip
11:40you're straight
11:41stop having stupid dreams like that
11:44and the guys you hate the most
11:45i'm straight
11:47i'm straight
11:50being queen feels wonderful
11:52even my hair is smoother than before
11:54this is
11:56my hair
11:59what happened to my hair
12:01wow
12:01this means snow white and prince charming have met
12:04what
12:05from now on
12:06every time their relationship grows a little deeper
12:09you'll lose another patch of hair
12:11and when they truly fall in love
12:13your head will become one perfectly smooth boiled egg
12:18no
12:19lucas
12:19marcus
12:20i'll kill you both
12:23spread my order
12:24hunt down snow white across the entire kingdom
12:26alive or dead
12:27your majesty
12:29perhaps the legendary magic mirror could cure your boldness
12:33right
12:33the all-knowing mirror
12:35it has to be able to fix my hair
12:37go find that mirror immediately
12:39i want it brought to me within three days
12:43lucas
12:44once i catch you
12:46i'll gonna pluck every single hair off your head
12:53luc
12:54is that a princess
12:55princess
12:56that's obviously a man
12:58a man who likes wearing dresses
13:00hey handsome cute dress
13:02mind lend it to my big sis sometime
13:06just ignore them
13:07i hate this dress
13:09oh my goodness
13:10whose daughter is this
13:11she's so tall
13:17mom
13:18that lady has stubble
13:20don't say nonsense
13:22apologize to the lady
13:23wait
13:24he really does have stubble
13:26i'm a man
13:27a man in a dress
13:30sick
13:30calm down
13:31don't bother with them
13:38look there's a hot girl bathing
13:40man tonight's our lucky night
13:44why does the voice sound like a guy
13:46you know nothing
13:47androger and your beauty is trendy
13:53it's a man
13:54my eyes
13:55hey i haven't even screamed yet
13:57what are you screaming
13:57i swear i'll never peek at bathing girls again
14:00please stop sending cross-dressing dudes to test me
14:03i've had enough of this
14:05sprite
14:05fairy
14:06whatever
14:06just get out here right now
14:12i want to get rid of this damn dress
14:15well
14:16it's not impossible
14:17play a game with me
14:19and you can change it
14:20what game
14:20look
14:26no way
14:27whatever the game is
14:28i won't play anything with him
14:30hey
14:30what did i do to you this time
14:31then i guess you'll just keep wearing the dress
14:34honestly
14:34the more i look at it on you
14:36the better it suits you
14:37fine
14:38what game
14:41blindfold feeding
14:43lucas puts on the blindfold
14:45marcus sits three meters away
14:47lucas has to walk over and feed the strawberry to marcus
14:50that's it
14:51easy peasy
14:52but you can't use your hands
14:53you have to hold the strawberry in your mouth
14:55what kind of perverted game is that
14:57what's wrong
14:58scared
14:59who's scared
15:00i'll just pretend i'm feeding a pet
15:04okay
15:23where are you touching
15:25shut up
15:37oh my god
15:38does this count as kissing marcus
15:40this is a straight man's greatest humiliation
15:42his lips
15:44are just as soft as in my dream
15:48wait
15:48why am i reacting
15:50no no no that's impossible
15:52what's wrong
15:52stomach ache
15:53i'm fine don't come closer
15:54i see what's going on now
15:57shut up
16:01you know
16:01i'm actually the same as you
16:05take some time
16:07wait
16:07does this mean i've actually been turned gay
16:13cooled off yet
16:14time to change the clothes
16:17finally
16:18i can get out of that damn dress
16:22i can't reveal my identity to lucas just yet
16:25please keep it a secret from me
16:26this is getting good
16:28the plot just keeps getting juicier
16:30do you think you're watching a reality show
16:42hungry
16:42no i'm fine
16:44here
16:45thirsty
16:46i said i'm fine
16:48cold
16:50drop it
16:50i'm not cold
16:56i've never seen such a beautiful flower
16:58this is for you
16:59just so you know
17:00this adorable little flower
17:02completely poisonous
17:03it has no taste at all
17:10i want juice
17:11although there's no juice
17:13honey water on the house
17:14and trust me
17:15we got plenty
17:16you're not trying to
17:18watch me
17:19marcus don't do it
17:22this is gonna end badly
17:27hey there
17:41it's all your fault
17:43we almost got stung to death
17:44and you're still laughing
17:46you're still cute when you're mad
17:49no no no
17:50i'm straight
17:51totally straight
17:52from now on
17:53you must stay at least one meter away from me
18:04marcus
18:05at your service
18:06pull me up right now
18:07didn't you just tell me to keep more than a meter away from you
18:10this pit looks at least three meters deep
18:13which meets your requirement perfectly
18:15marcus stop messing around
18:17but you literally make that rule like five seconds ago
18:20asshole just wait till i get up there i swear
18:22i'm gonna mess you up
18:23why don't you climb up here first
18:25then we'll talk
18:26marcus come back
18:28jerk
18:29all that talk about liking me was a lie
18:31bullying me at school
18:33and now abandoning me
18:35i almost believed him
18:37crying
18:39idiot
18:39didn't you leave
18:40what are you doing back here
18:42silly boy
18:42i'd never leave you here
18:45grab on i'll pull you up
18:47i've got you
18:56aren't you the captain of the football team
18:58how come you're so weak
18:59maybe because you're heavier than you look
19:01i'm literally standard weight
19:03the real problem here is you're weak
19:04fine fine it's all my fault
19:08you can scoot a little closer
19:09trust me it's way warmer over here
19:12in your dreams
19:13i'd rather freeze to death
19:14fine have it your way
19:16idiot
19:17freezing your ass off
19:18and still pretending you're fine
19:22damn it
19:23why am i in his arms
19:26hmm
19:26no wonder he won prom king
19:28two years in a row
19:29he really is good looking
19:32you're awake
19:32i i i was just
19:41what the hell are you doing
19:45lucas i'm sorry i just
19:46let me tell you marcus
19:47i'm straight
19:48i could never like you
19:49i was just being impulsive
19:50i'll never forgive you for bullying me at school
19:52you make me sick
19:55what did you say
19:56i said you make me sick
19:58there is no way i'd ever fall for a jerk like you
20:02you're right i am a jerk
20:03i'm such an idiot for falling for you
20:06marcus let go of me
20:07i'm such a fool for doing everything i could to get your attention
20:10for trying to protect you this whole time
20:13but from now on i'm not gonna like you anymore
20:17i finally got rid of this jerk
20:18i should be happy
20:19but why do i feel so lost
20:23we need to figure out how to get out of here
20:26marcus
20:27i heard you
20:32grab it
20:34grab it
20:45thanks
20:46let's go
20:54marcus
20:55where are you
21:03marcus
21:04help
21:08marcus
21:09help
21:12run
21:20i said run do you hear me
21:23no
21:24i can't leave you to face this alone
21:30marcus
21:31marcus
21:31get out of here
21:32i can't hold it off much longer
21:34but you
21:35what i said before
21:36i didn't mean it
21:37i lied to you
21:38what
21:38i still fucking like you
21:41i've liked you since middle school
21:43and i never stopped
21:51i'm not leaving you here
22:07are you hurt
22:10no i'm fine
22:11just
22:12my legs are just a little shaky
22:22he actually risked his life to save me
22:25after i was so mean to him
22:26i said
22:27you make me sick
22:29there is no way i'd ever fall for a jerk like you
22:32did i go too far with what i said
22:34if it weren't for him
22:35those scars would probably be on me
22:40it's ready
22:41you first
22:44marcus
22:44i said those things earlier out of anger too
22:47i know i was way out of line
22:48i'm sorry
22:50lucas
22:51would you just give us a chance
22:53i don't expect you to say yes right now
22:55i just want to know
22:57is there even a tiny chance you could ever like me
23:00how could i ever like a guy
23:02it should be an easy answer
23:03so why is it so hard to say
23:05i'm sorry
23:06i can't
23:07i'm really grateful you saved my life
23:10but i'm straight
23:11and i'll never be anything else
23:13i
23:13i'm sorry
23:17i get it
23:17i respect your choice
23:21but i'm still gonna like you anyway
23:27i'm finally free of his nonsense
23:29so why don't feel happy at all
23:31get a grip lucas
23:33you're just grateful he saved you
23:35you're not gay
23:37a glowing flower
23:38never seen one of those before
23:41it smells special
23:45it's so hot
23:46what's going on
24:04marcus
24:08what's wrong
24:11what's wrong
24:13i want you
24:21you've got a fever
24:22why are you burning up
24:30lucas
24:31are you drunk
24:32there isn't even any alcohol out here
24:34marcus
24:35i know you want me
24:37you're not thinking straight
24:38i'm not taking advantage of you like this
25:07don't
25:08don't what
25:11don't stop
25:20oh my god
25:21what am i doing
25:23stop
25:23just stop
25:24no
25:25i like this
25:26no
25:27it has to be that damn pollen
25:32what are you gonna do
25:33kill me
25:35no
25:36you're gonna be my servant
25:42and now i'm ordering you
25:44take me
25:45yes your highness
25:47yes
26:15Oh, my God.
26:28Morning.
26:29Don't touch me!
26:31So now you're denying everything?
26:33You were pretty eager last night.
26:36I don't remember any of it.
26:38And if you tell anyone about last night, I'll cut your tongue out.
26:41This is all that stupid flower's fault.
26:44I only lost control because that damn pollen.
26:46Pollen can't create desire.
26:48It only amplifies what's already there.
26:50Admit it, Lucas.
26:51You want me.
26:53Do I really want him?
26:55No.
26:56There's no way this bastard turned me gay.
27:00That's Prince Charming's castle.
27:02Tomorrow, you'll finally meet him.
27:04Great.
27:04After tomorrow, I won't have to see your annoying face ever again.
27:08Why does it feel like my heart is breaking?
27:10That flower must have fried my brain.
27:12I'm just used to having him around all the time.
27:15That's all.
27:16Don't worry.
27:18Once I get back to the real world, everything will go back to normal.
27:24The last glowing thing we found was an aphrodisiac flower.
27:27Don't tell me this glowing water is some kind of love potion, too.
27:30Why don't you take a sip and find out?
27:34Well, look who finally made it here.
27:36You again?
27:37Every time you show up, something bad happens.
27:39Relax.
27:40I'm just here for the show this time.
27:42This is the Spring of Desire.
27:44If you look into it, you'll see what your heart wants most.
27:47Oh, yeah?
27:48Then let's see what I want most.
27:50Probably a massive feast back in the real world.
27:53Back off.
27:54Okay.
27:55Okay.
28:03No way.
28:04The thing I want most is him.
28:06What did you see?
28:07Why are you so red?
28:08Nothing.
28:09I just saw a beautiful woman bathing.
28:11A beautiful woman bathing?
28:13You really are straight.
28:15You can fool him, but not me.
28:17I know exactly what you saw.
28:20It must be because I'm Snow White.
28:22Maybe this body's female hormones are messing with my head.
28:25Stop lying to yourself.
28:27The Spring of Desire is never wrong.
28:30Do I really like him?
28:32What are you two whispering about?
28:33We were just talking about Lucas's deepest desire.
28:37Shut up!
28:37I'm an honest elf.
28:39My mother raised me never to lie.
28:40Please.
28:41You're just here for the drama.
28:43What are you two even talking about?
28:44Why can't tell me?
28:46I saw us kissing!
28:48Really?
28:48Lucas, you like me too, don't you?
28:50So what if I do?
28:52I have to fall in love with Prince Charming if I want to leave this place.
28:56Marcus, we can't be together.
28:58It's time to tell Lucas who I really am.
29:00Lucas, wait.
29:02Lucas, there's something I have to tell you.
29:04I'm actually...
29:13Joanna sent them?
29:15No idea.
29:16But they don't look friendly.
29:17On three, we run in opposite directions.
29:20You think you can outrun them?
29:22Pretty sure you failed P.E.
29:23I was the 10-meter sprint champion in kindergarten, thank you very much.
29:28Your Highness Prince Charming, we finally found you!
29:31Your Highness!
29:33You're Prince Charming?
29:35Your Highness, and this is...
29:37He's Snow White, my fiancé.
29:40No, my fiancé.
29:42Not that either.
29:43Whatever.
29:44He's the one I love.
29:45He's the legendary Snow White with the stubble?
29:47I don't care if he's a man or a woman.
29:49He's the one I'm going to marry.
29:51But His Majesty has given strict orders.
29:54He cannot accept two men marrying.
29:56This Snow White is forbidden from entering the castle.
29:58That old fossil!
29:59People are out here falling in love with ChatGPT.
30:01Lucas is at least a real human being.
30:04His Majesty also said that if you insist on marrying him,
30:07he'll hang your embarrassing baby pics at the castle gate.
30:10Your embarrassing baby pictures?
30:13Your king's got a pretty good sense of humor.
30:16Wait.
30:17So you were fucking lying to me this whole time?
30:19Lucas, I'm sorry.
30:21I didn't mean to deceive you.
30:23I was afraid that if you knew the truth...
30:24I finally accepted my feelings for you.
30:27And all this time, you were just making a fool out of me.
30:30No.
30:30Lucas, I like you.
30:32I would never hurt you.
30:33Enough!
30:33I hate being lied to more than anything.
30:36Lucas, I was wrong.
30:37Please, just let me explain.
30:42Hey, wrong way!
30:44That's the Enchanted Forest!
30:45The Enchanted Forest?
30:46The one no one's ever made it out of alive?
30:49Damn it.
30:51Liar.
30:52You kept saying you liked me,
30:53but you were lying to me the whole time!
31:04Who's there?
31:05Another stupid just wandered in.
31:08Perfect.
31:09It's been forever since we've had fresh meat.
31:11He looks delicious.
31:13Oh, crap.
31:14I must have stumbled into the legendary seven villains.
31:19God, I'd kill for a Big Mac right now.
31:23Nope, I can't hold it in.
31:25Did you see his face?
31:27He went completely white.
31:35You guys are the legendary seven villains?
31:38You ever seen demons this handsome?
31:40We're not demons.
31:42We're victims.
31:43Victims?
31:45We used to be guards for the evil queen,
31:47but she wanted us to take turns being her lovers.
31:50Monday through Sunday.
31:51No repeats.
31:52We're respectable guards, okay?
31:54Not rent boys.
31:55Why would we ever agree to that?
31:56So she got mad,
31:57threw us into the Enchanted Forest,
31:59and trapped us here with dark magic.
32:01I can't believe the seven dwarves from the fairy tale
32:03actually have it this rough.
32:05We've been stuck here so long,
32:06we're dying of boredom.
32:08But hey, now you're here.
32:10At least we've got a new face around.
32:11What's your name?
32:12Where are you from?
32:13Do you have a girlfriend?
32:14Please!
32:15That's outdated.
32:15Gay is in now.
32:17So, do you have a boyfriend?
32:19Oh, so there is someone.
32:21No!
32:21Nothing like that!
32:22Then why are you blushing?
32:24Oh.
32:25I...
32:26I'm hot.
32:27Okay?
32:28Tell us more.
32:29Okay.
32:35We have a witness who says Snow White ran into the Enchanted Forest.
32:39You boys wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?
32:41Wait.
32:41Is that guy Snow White?
32:43By order of the queen,
32:44if you reveal Snow White's whereabouts,
32:47your freedom will be restored.
32:51They know I'm Snow White now?
32:54Are they gonna hand me over?
32:56Oof.
32:57You're too late.
32:58What do you mean?
32:59Snow White got eaten by a beast
33:01the second he ran into the Enchanted Forest.
33:03I saw it with my own eyes.
33:04It was brutal.
33:06Total bloodbath.
33:07Want me to take you to the scene?
33:08Though fair warning,
33:09you probably won't be able to eat for days.
33:12No.
33:13No, no.
33:13That won't be necessary.
33:14As long as I've got something to report back to the queen.
33:18Head back and inform the queen.
33:19Snow White is dead.
33:27Hey!
33:28They're gone!
33:29You're safe now!
33:30Why did you help me?
33:31Because we hate that old witch of a queen.
33:33The enemy of our enemy is our friend.
33:38Your Majesty!
33:39Word from the guard,
33:40Snow White is dead!
33:41Ha ha ha ha!
33:43Finally!
33:44That little noose is dead.
33:46So my hair should grow back now, right?
33:48Oh!
33:49Oh!
33:50No, no, no, no!
33:51No, no!
33:52Oh!
33:54Ah!
33:55I thought my hair was supposed to grow back once he died!
33:59That's because Snow White isn't dead.
34:01Who are you?
34:02I'm the all-knowing magic mirror.
34:04Oh, wow, Your Majesty,
34:05that hair is a bold choice.
34:07Shut up!
34:08Just tell me how to get my hair back!
34:09As long as Snow White and Prince Charming
34:11never fall in love,
34:12your hair will grow back.
34:14I'm going to the Enchanted Forest
34:15and killing him myself!
34:17Your Majesty,
34:17those three hairs of yours
34:18would be gone in one gust of wind.
34:20Shut up!
34:21Let me do it.
34:22I hate couples more than anything.
34:23The second I see them acting all sweet,
34:25I want to lose it.
34:26All he has to do
34:27is take one bite of this apple pie
34:30and it's over.
34:32It's been days
34:34and that bastard Marcus
34:35still hasn't come looking for me.
34:36Figures.
34:37You can't trust a word, men say.
34:42Who are you?
34:43I'm the little match girl's sister.
34:45The little apple pie girl.
34:47Sister?
34:47With those wrinkles,
34:48you look more like the little apple pie grandma.
34:50Oh, I have never seen
34:52such a handsome man in my life.
34:54Apple pie handsome?
34:56Wow.
34:57Smells incredible.
34:58Go on, it's free.
35:00Wait.
35:00Apples in fairy tales
35:01are always poisoned.
35:02You're not Joanna, are you?
35:06Who's Joanna?
35:07In fairy tales,
35:08the evil queen dresses up
35:10as an old woman
35:10and tricks Snow White
35:11into eating a poisoned apple.
35:13Joanna, stop pretending.
35:15I'm not her.
35:17I'm just the little apple pie girl.
35:19I know that's your disguise, Joanna.
35:21And your makeup is terrible.
35:23Hey, you can question my character,
35:25but not my makeup skills.
35:27Come on, let's rip the mask off her.
35:33No, no, stop.
35:36So, you really aren't Joanna.
35:39I told you I wasn't
35:40and you still ripped my clothes off.
35:42Sorry, I got it wrong.
35:43I offered you free apple pie
35:45and somehow I'm the bad guy.
35:47Okay, okay, don't cry.
35:48I'll eat it.
35:49I'll eat it.
35:52Lucas!
35:53Lucas!
35:55What are you doing here?
35:57I've been looking for you
35:58this whole time.
35:59Looking for me?
36:00What, so you could keep lying to me?
36:02Lucas, can you stop being impossible
36:03for one second?
36:04I'm impossible?
36:05You're the one who's heartless,
36:06shameless, and impossible.
36:07How am I heartless?
36:07How am I shameless?
36:08How am I impossible?
36:09How are you not heartless?
36:10How are you not shameless?
36:11How are you not impossible?
36:12Fine.
36:13Even if I am heartless,
36:14shameless, and impossible-
36:15What are you two doing?
36:16Practicing a damn tongue twister?
36:19Handsome, want some apple pie?
36:21Might help you calm down.
36:22I'm not hungry.
36:24Come on.
36:24Eat a little.
36:26You need energy
36:27if you're gonna keep arguing.
36:28I said, I'm not hungry.
36:30Just one bite.
36:31God, you're annoying.
36:32Can't you see
36:32we're in the middle of something?
36:34Fine.
36:34I'll eat it.
36:35Happy?
36:42Get it out!
36:43Do you have any idea
36:44how hard that was to make?
36:45I pulled three all-nighters
36:47on that pie!
36:49Let go!
36:50What are you doing?
36:51Let him go!
36:52So you do still care about me?
36:53God, I hate couples like you!
36:56Will you two die
36:57if you stop acting
36:58lovey-dooby for one second?
37:00God!
37:00Calm down.
37:01Don't do anything stupid.
37:02You can always make another one.
37:05Seriously?
37:06It was just an apple pie.
37:07That was my masterpiece!
37:09I spent forever
37:10perfecting that poison blend!
37:12Wait.
37:13So you really were sent by Joanna?
37:14Well, obviously.
37:15Why else would I drag myself
37:17into this dump of a forest
37:18to deliver apple pie?
37:20As long as we're here,
37:21you're not hurting Lucas.
37:22I wasn't even planning
37:23to hurt him.
37:24A man that handsome
37:25is practically in danger.
37:27But the queen gave me orders.
37:28No matter what it takes,
37:30I have to keep him
37:31and Prince Charmin apart.
37:33Help!
37:33He's trying to stab me!
37:34I'm not!
37:35I was just...
37:39Please!
37:43As long as I'm here,
37:44you're not laying
37:45a finger on Lucas.
37:46I...
37:46I wasn't trying
37:48to hurt him.
37:48I was going
37:49to kill myself.
37:51I failed my mission.
37:53If I go back,
37:54the queen will punish me anyway.
37:55Might as well
37:56end it myself.
37:57Oh!
37:58Sorry.
37:59My bad.
38:00Well,
38:00be our guest.
38:03Wait!
38:04Your job
38:05is to keep
38:06Snow White
38:06and Prince Charming
38:07from ending up together,
38:08right?
38:09Then wouldn't
38:09poisoning Prince Charming
38:10work just as well?
38:12Huh?
38:14You're right!
38:16Poisoning Prince Charming
38:17works just as well!
38:19Serves you right
38:19for being greedy
38:20and snatching
38:21someone else's food.
38:22That's what you get.
38:23Alright.
38:24Mission accomplished.
38:26What?
38:28You do realize
38:29that pie you just
38:30swallowed was poisoned,
38:31right?
38:32Right.
38:32The pie was poisoned!
38:38Water!
38:39Somebody get me water!
38:43I think I'm dying.
38:47Marcus actually
38:48took the fall for you.
38:50That is so moving!
38:52Is this what
38:52true love looks like?
38:54If somebody did that
38:55for me,
38:55I'd marry him on the spot.
38:56I don't care if it's
38:57a man, a woman,
38:58a cat, or a dog.
38:59He didn't even know
39:00the pie was poisoned.
39:01What's so moving
39:02about that?
39:02Yeah, but before that,
39:04he jumped into
39:04that pit for you.
39:05He fought a beast for you.
39:07Keep going
39:07and I'm gonna fall
39:08for him myself!
39:09Lying to you was wrong,
39:10but his feelings
39:11for you are real.
39:12Lucas, just forgive him.
39:13Yeah, come on,
39:13just forgive him!
39:14Alright, alright,
39:15I get it, okay?
39:16Marcus, we just did you
39:17a huge favor,
39:18so how are you
39:18gonna thank us?
39:19Me?
39:20I'm poisoned!
39:21I'm dying here!
39:22Maybe help me first?
39:24Right!
39:24He's poisoned!
39:25Come on,
39:26think of something!
39:27Hmm...
39:27But you actually look
39:28pretty good.
39:29Your skin's kinda glowing.
39:30Maybe it was fake poison?
39:31Worst case,
39:32he gets diarrhea
39:33for a couple days.
39:34Okay,
39:35that's a relief.
39:38Marcus!
39:41Marcus!
39:42Okay,
39:43we know you hate him,
39:44but this is a little much.
39:45He really is poisoned!
39:47Come on,
39:48think of something!
39:49I heard my grandpa
39:50talk about a miracle cure once.
39:52Hot oil!
39:53Heat kills poison!
39:58This kind of worm
39:59feeds on toxins.
40:01If we put it inside Marcus,
40:02it'll suck all the poison
40:03out of his body.
40:08It says the best way
40:10to get poison out
40:10is to literally
40:11beat it out of him.
40:13Watch this.
40:16You didn't just
40:17break his ribs,
40:17did you?
40:23I've got another idea.
40:24Enough!
40:24At this rate,
40:25the poison won't kill him.
40:26You too will!
40:29Maybe there is one thing
40:30that might work.
40:31What?
40:31True love's kiss.
40:33In fairy tales,
40:34Snow White eats the poisoned apple,
40:36and Prince Charmia's kiss
40:37wakes her up.
40:38Yeah,
40:38but that's a fairy tale.
40:39This is the real world.
40:40You wouldn't get it.
40:42To me,
40:42this is the fairy tale.
40:43This isn't just an excuse
40:44to kiss him,
40:45is it?
40:45Like I need an excuse?
40:47We've kissed plenty
40:47of times already.
40:52I'm only doing this
40:53to save him.
40:56And he still says
40:57he's not gay.
41:02Why didn't it work?
41:04Maybe your kiss
41:04wasn't heartfelt enough?
41:05Shut up!
41:06I'm trying to save him!
41:07Kiss him again!
41:08Kiss him again!
41:10I refuse to believe
41:12I can't kiss you awake!
41:17Lucas,
41:18it's no use.
41:18He already missed
41:19the golden seven-hour window
41:20for antidotes.
41:22He's not breathing anymore.
41:23Lucas,
41:24I'm sorry.
41:26We should bury him
41:27in the prettiest garden
41:27in the enchanted forest.
41:29How could you just
41:30die like this?
41:31You said you'd
41:32protect me forever!
41:34If you're dead,
41:34who's supposed
41:35to protect me now?
41:36Marcus,
41:37you asshole!
41:38I never got to tell you.
41:40I fell for you
41:41a long time ago.
41:42Lucas,
41:43the grave's ready.
41:44It's time.
41:45I love you, Marcus.
41:50I love you, too.
41:51You're not dead?
41:53I woke up
41:54the first time
41:54you kissed me.
41:55Then why were you
41:55playing dead?
41:56Because I wanted
41:56to hear you say
41:57you loved me
41:58a few more times.
41:59Marcus!
41:59You were messing
42:00with me again!
42:02Lucas,
42:03thank you.
42:04You've made me
42:04the happiest man
42:05in the world.
42:11So this is what
42:12love looks like.
42:13We're leaving
42:14Lucas with you.
42:15You better take
42:15good care of him
42:16from now on.
42:18Thank you
42:19for taking care
42:20of me all this time.
42:23Wait!
42:24I just thought
42:25of a way to get you
42:25out of the enchanted forest!
42:27The way is...
42:35Lucas!
42:37You didn't finish
42:39your words!
42:39What was the way out?
42:40Lucas, come back!
42:42Wait, could Lucas's
42:44method be
42:45true love's kiss?
42:47In your dreams!
42:49I am not kissing you!
42:50I mean,
42:51it wouldn't hurt
42:52to try.
43:04Your Majesty!
43:06Good news!
43:07Well, out with it.
43:08Mission accomplished.
43:09Prince Charming
43:10is dead.
43:10There's no way
43:11those two can end
43:12up together now.
43:13Really?
43:15I saw him eat
43:16the apple pie
43:16with my own eyes.
43:17He dropped dead
43:18right after.
43:20Excellent!
43:21If I can't poison
43:22that bitch Lucas
43:22to death,
43:23then poisoning
43:24his Prince Charming
43:24works just as well!
43:27So my hair
43:28should grow back
43:28now, right?
43:32What?
43:33Ah!
43:34What is going on?
43:36Didn't you say
43:37Prince Charming
43:38was dead?
43:38I saw him
43:39eat the pie myself!
43:41Then why is
43:41my hair still
43:42falling?
43:43Maybe
43:44killing Prince Charming
43:46doesn't work
43:46the same way.
43:47Ah!
43:47I'm gonna kill you!
43:52Your Majesty?
43:54Your Majesty!
43:55Where are you?
43:56I haven't even
43:56told you who
43:57the fairest woman
43:58in the land is yet!
44:03Obviously me.
44:11I'm back?
44:16Was
44:17was all of that
44:18just a dream?
44:22If all of that
44:23was just a dream
44:25then Marcus and I
44:26Are you damn
44:27bald woman!
44:28Get away from me!
44:32Honey!
44:33You can't throw me out!
44:34You said you
44:35were going
44:36to marry me!
44:37I like women
44:38with hair!
44:38I do not want
44:39to wake up
44:40in the middle
44:40of the night
44:41thinking I'm
44:41holding a man!
44:42My hair will
44:43grow back!
44:44The doctor said
44:44it's hair loss
44:45from stress!
44:46Stress?
44:47You use my card
44:48every day
44:48to buy bags,
44:49shoes,
44:49and makeup!
44:50What exactly
44:50are you stressed
44:51about?
44:52If I were still
44:53Queen
44:53I'd have your
44:54head chopped
44:55off you old
44:55fool!
44:57Queen?
44:58So it wasn't
44:59a dream
45:00it was real!
45:01I wasted
45:02years of my
45:03youth on
45:03an old
45:04fossil like
45:05you!
45:05You owe
45:06me a huge
45:06settlement!
45:07Joanna you
45:08tried to
45:08poison me
45:09and you
45:09still think
45:09you deserve
45:10a payout?
45:11Want to see
45:11how fast
45:11I call
45:12the cops?
45:12You bitch
45:13if it
45:13weren't for
45:13you I'd
45:14still be
45:14the mighty
45:15queen!
45:15Joanna
45:15don't forget
45:16in fairy tales
45:18the evil
45:18queen never
45:19gets a happy
45:19ending.
45:20In the fairy
45:20tale Snow White
45:21falls for
45:22Prince Charming
45:23what about
45:24you?
45:24Did you
45:25fall for
45:25your Prince
45:26Charming
45:26too Snow White?
45:27your father
45:28is such
45:28an old
45:28fossil
45:29there's
45:30no way
45:30he'll
45:30accept
45:30the whole
45:31LGBT
45:31thing
45:32he'll
45:32definitely
45:33throw
45:33you
45:33out
45:33Queen?
45:34Snow White?
45:35Are you
45:35two doing
45:36cosplay or
45:36something?
45:37If I
45:37can't
45:38inherit
45:38your
45:38father's
45:38money
45:39then
45:39you
45:39don't
45:39get
45:40to
45:40inherit
45:40it
45:40either!
45:42Lucas
45:43is my
45:43son
45:43he's
45:44my
45:44only
45:44heir
45:45what
45:45happens
45:45in
45:45this
45:45family
45:46is
45:46none
45:46of
45:46your
45:46business
45:46oh
45:47yeah
45:47what
45:48if
45:48your
45:48only
45:48heir
45:48is
45:48gay
45:49you're
45:50gay?
45:53I'm
45:53not
45:54not
45:54because
45:55I
45:55heard
45:56you
45:56and
45:56that
45:56boy
45:56Marcus
45:57were
45:57all
45:57over
45:58each
45:58other
45:58hugging
45:59kissing
45:59the
45:59whole
46:00thing
46:00shut
46:00up
46:02dad
46:03yeah
46:03I
46:06dad
46:07you're
46:08not
46:08mad
46:08truth
46:08is
46:09I
46:09had
46:09a
46:10boyfriend
46:10when I
46:10was
46:10younger
46:11too
46:11what
46:12his
46:12name
46:12was
46:12Tom
46:13six
46:13foot
46:14three
46:14eight
46:14pack
46:15abs
46:15blonde
46:15hair
46:16blue
46:16eyes
46:16insanely
46:17hot
46:19anyway
46:20that's
46:20all in
46:20the
46:20past
46:21as
46:21long
46:21as
46:22you
46:22two
46:22really
46:22love
46:22each
46:22other
46:23I
46:23don't
46:23care
46:23if
46:23it's
46:23a
46:23man
46:24or
46:24a
46:24woman
46:26wow
46:26I
46:27had
46:27no
46:27idea
46:28gay
46:28was
46:28hereditary
46:29instead
46:29of
46:29stirring
46:29the
46:30pot
46:30maybe
46:30you
46:30should
46:31focus
46:31on
46:31fixing
46:31that
46:32bald
46:32head
46:32of
46:32yours
46:33shut
46:33up
46:36so
46:37what
46:37was
46:37that
46:38boy's
46:38name
46:38again
46:39Marcus
46:40I
46:40have
46:41to
46:41go
46:41find
46:41him
46:47hey
46:48nerd
46:48lend
46:49us
46:49some
46:49money
46:49get
46:50lost
46:50I
46:50don't
46:50have
46:50time
46:50for
46:51this
46:51you
46:51know
46:51who
46:52we
46:52are
46:52and
46:52you
46:52still
46:52talk
46:53to
46:53us
46:53like
46:53that
46:54I've
46:55dealt
46:55with
46:55the
46:55seven
46:55bullies
46:56what
46:56are
46:56you
46:56two
46:56supposed
46:57to
46:57be
46:57if
46:58you're
46:58not
46:58going to
46:58hand
46:58it
46:58over
46:59don't
46:59blame
46:59us
47:00for
47:00what
47:00happens
47:00next
47:03try
47:03touching
47:04him
47:04see
47:05what
47:05happens
47:06if
47:06you run
47:06now
47:07you
47:07might
47:07still
47:07make
47:07it
47:08come
47:09on
47:09let's
47:09go
47:09he's
47:09the
47:09football
47:10captain
47:13you
47:14you
47:14marcus
47:15i
47:15missed
47:16you
47:16lucas
47:17what
47:18are
47:18you
47:18doing
47:22marcus
47:22weren't
47:23we
47:23together
47:24together
47:24since
47:25when
47:25were
47:25we
47:26together
47:26that's
47:26news
47:26to
47:27me
47:27you
47:27don't
47:28remember
47:28prince
47:29charming
47:29the
47:30enchanted
47:30forest
47:31the
47:31seven
47:32boys
47:32lucas
47:33what
47:33are
47:33you
47:33even
47:33talking
47:34about
47:34you
47:34ate
47:35the
47:35poisoned
47:35apple
47:35pie
47:36i
47:36kissed
47:37you
47:37you
47:37told
47:38me
47:38you
47:38loved
47:38me
47:38you
47:39seriously
47:39don't
47:39remember
47:39any
47:40of
47:40it
47:40lucas
47:41have
47:41you
47:41been
47:41reading
47:41too
47:41many
47:42fairy tales
47:42or
47:42something
47:43was
47:43it
47:43all
47:43just
47:44a
47:44dream
47:44it
47:44wasn't
47:45a
47:45dream
47:45marcus
47:46think
47:46we
47:47went
47:47through
47:47all
47:47of
47:48that
47:48together
47:48lucas
47:48i
47:49have
47:49no
47:49idea
47:49what
47:50you're
47:50talking
47:50about
47:52and
47:52i've
47:52never
47:52liked
47:53you
47:55then
47:55why
47:56did
47:56you
47:56save
47:56me
47:56just
47:57now
47:57if
47:57i
47:57see
47:58anybody
47:58getting
47:58bullied
47:59i
47:59step
47:59in
48:00it
48:00had
48:00nothing
48:00to
48:00do
48:01with
48:01you
48:02what
48:03the
48:03hell
48:03happened
48:04why
48:05doesn't
48:05he
48:05remember
48:06any
48:06of
48:06it
48:07damn
48:08you
48:08marcus
48:08you
48:09turned
48:09me
48:09gay
48:10and
48:10now
48:10you
48:10don't
48:11remember
48:11any
48:11of
48:11it
48:24your
48:25highness
48:25snow
48:25white
48:27i'm
48:27back
48:27in
48:27the
48:27fairytale
48:28world
48:28again
48:28you're
48:29not
48:29back
48:30i
48:30just
48:30moved
48:31the
48:31fairytale
48:31world
48:32into
48:32your
48:32house
48:32for
48:33now
48:33wasn't
48:33all
48:34of
48:34this
48:34supposed
48:34to
48:34be
48:34over
48:35what
48:35do
48:35you
48:35want
48:36now
48:36relax
48:37snow
48:37white
48:38and
48:38prince
48:38charming
48:38story
48:39still
48:39hasn't
48:40reached
48:40the
48:40finale
48:40the
48:41finale
48:43come
48:44on
48:44let's
48:44see
48:44the
48:44first
48:45ending
48:45you're
48:45gonna
48:46love
48:46this
48:46one
48:49guys
48:49thank
48:50god
48:51you
48:51guys
48:51made
48:51it
48:52out
48:52of
48:52the
48:52enchanted
48:52forest
48:54that's
48:54thanks to
48:55you
48:55lucas
48:55me
48:56but i
48:56didn't
48:57even
48:57finish
48:57what i
48:57was
48:57saying
48:57you
48:58and
48:58marcus
48:58gave
48:58us
48:59hope
48:59you
48:59made
49:00us
49:00believe
49:00true
49:00love
49:00really
49:01can
49:01break
49:01any
49:01curse
49:02so
49:03we
49:03tried
49:04the
49:04true
49:04love's
49:04kiss
49:04thing
49:04too
49:05and
49:05the
49:05curse
49:05broke
49:06that's
49:06amazing
49:06i'm
49:07so
49:07happy
49:07for
49:07you
49:07guys
49:09first
49:09ending
49:10the
49:10seven
49:10boys
49:10break
49:11the
49:11evil
49:11queen's
49:12curse
49:12and
49:12win
49:12back
49:13their
49:13freedom
49:13hold
49:14on
49:14we're
49:15not
49:15done
49:15yet
49:15there's
49:16still
49:16the
49:16second
49:16ending
49:17second
49:18ending
49:18joanna
49:19got
49:19exactly
49:20what
49:20she
49:20deserved
49:21mrs joanna
49:21based on
49:22your test
49:22results
49:23your hair
49:23is never
49:23growing
49:24back
49:24no
49:25that's
49:25impossible
49:26your scalp
49:26is severely
49:27inflamed
49:27you need
49:28to stop
49:28wearing
49:28wigs
49:29immediately
49:29what
49:30how am
49:30i
49:30supposed
49:30to go
49:31out
49:31without
49:31a
49:31wig
49:31are
49:32you
49:32saying
49:32i'm
49:32supposed
49:38she be
49:39bald
49:39and
49:39alone
49:40for
49:40the
49:40rest
49:40of
49:40her
49:41life
49:42and
49:43now
49:43for
49:43the
49:43third
49:43ending
49:44the
49:44final
49:44ending
49:45prince
49:45charming
49:46is about
49:46to
49:46officially
49:47confess
49:47to
49:48snow
49:48white
49:48that
49:48ending
49:49is
49:49probably
49:49not
49:49happening
49:50marcus
49:51doesn't
49:51remember
49:51any
49:51of
49:52it
49:52are
49:52you
49:52sure
49:52he
49:53doesn't
49:53remember
49:53anything
49:56marcus
49:57i thought
49:58you didn't
49:58remember
49:58any
49:59of it
49:59idiot
49:59i was
50:00messing
50:00with
50:00you
50:01and
50:01you
50:02said
50:02you
50:02didn't
50:02even
50:02like
50:02me
50:03i
50:03just
50:03wanted
50:03to
50:08happen
50:08in
50:08the
50:08fairy
50:08tale
50:08world
50:09asshole
50:09do
50:10you
50:10know
50:10how
50:10miserable
50:11i
50:11was
50:12i'm
50:12sorry
50:12lucas
50:13i promise
50:14i'll never
50:14make you
50:15feel
50:15that way
50:15again
50:16lucas
50:17i love
50:17you
50:17will
50:17you
50:17be
50:18my
50:18snow
50:18wife
50:18forever
50:23final
50:24ending
50:24snow
50:25white
50:25and prince
50:26charming
50:26finally
50:27get
50:27there
50:27happily
50:27ever
50:28after
50:30all
50:30right
50:30i'm
50:31off
50:31to
50:31mess
50:32with
50:32the
50:32next
50:32fairy
50:32tale
50:34see
50:34you
50:35in
50:35the
50:35next
50:35story
50:38you
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