- 8 minutes ago
OMG! My Snow White is a Man (2026) - Full Movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:04sorry i what's got you so focused you forgot how to walk
00:10get back i give it back beg me
00:19get off me nerd
00:27don't laugh shut the hell up
00:40go pick that ball up or i'm gonna make you regret it
00:50let him go oh come on marcus you mess with him every day now you're playing hero
00:56only i get to bully him
01:01touch him again and i'll twist your head off and use it as a soccer ball
01:07you okay mind your own business he's right this is all your fault and now you're acting
01:12like some hero marcus listen to me the person i hate most in this world is you
01:22lucas i bully you because i fucking like you
01:31lucas you're home i made you your favorite hot cocoa
01:35spare me the fake nice i know what you're doing
01:38you you know you're trying to win me over but let me make this clear you will never be the
01:43lady of this house
01:48what the hell is that were you trying to poison me
01:58your father won't marry me because of you if you're alive i'll never inherit his fortune
02:04so i have to get rid of you if my dad finds out you tried to hurt me
02:08he'll never marry a psycho like you
02:11too bad you won't get the chance to tell him
02:14die
02:21marcus what are you doing here i came down the chimney lucas
02:24i need to explain why i mess with you
02:42let go of me
02:55okay either i'm dead or i blacked out at a renaissance fair
02:59what are you a flying paper cut
03:01ah our prince charming is finally awake
03:04i am the guardian sprite of fairy tales
03:06you awaken me so i brought you into this storybook
03:12oh my god i look like a rejected disney extra
03:17why am i dressed like prince chanam's cousin who sells essential oils
03:21how can i leave this ridiculous place
03:25your highness
03:26the king commands you to depart at once to marry the princess snow white of the neighboring kingdom
03:30snow white
03:31absolutely not i'm gay i'm not about to drag some innocent girl into a straight marriage starter pack
03:37that's emotional terrorism
03:40you have got to be kidding me
03:42good morning princess snow white sleep well
03:46i'm a guy do you see the stubble the adam's apple the entire male anatomy package
03:50hmm yeah that's not supposed to happen
03:54okay looks like we've got a role assignment error
03:57let me file a ticket with fairy tale tech support
04:01oh great so how long is the wait time three business centuries
04:04why won't this thing come off
04:07i want men's clothes
04:08pants
04:08a hoodie
04:09literally anything with sleeves that aren't made in
04:11can't
04:12your character is snow white
04:14snow white has a dress
04:15it's in the contract
04:16i never signed anything
04:17you did
04:18you just didn't read the terms and conditions
04:20like everyone else
04:22look
04:23you got unlimited dresses
04:24fresh options daily
04:26it's basically princess netflix
04:31no no no no stop
04:33all right
04:34ready to meet your prince charming
04:36he'll be here soon
04:37to marry you
04:39what i'm straight
04:40i don't like men
04:41tell me how to get out of this nightmare
04:43easy
04:43you just have to truly fall in love with prince charming
04:46you're insane
04:49you inherited your father's heroic masculinity
04:54princess
04:55the queen request your presence
04:59what is it
05:01oh my god
05:03lucas
05:03you're snow white
05:06this is amazing
05:07the evil queen
05:09yeah
05:09that tracks
05:11you're dressed like a walking jewelry store
05:13afraid people might miss how greedy you are
05:15oh my dear lucas
05:17in here i'm the queen
05:19i have everything
05:21and honestly
05:22i'm in love with this place
05:24and you
05:25are the key back to reality
05:27so if i want to stay here
05:29i'll have to kill you
05:32you're sure he's the coldest killer in the kingdom
05:37yes your majesty
05:38he's the infamous hunter nicknamed
05:40mr alpha male
05:42i hate women
05:43especially women prettier than me
05:45so snow white
05:46the most beautiful cannot be allowed to live
05:52leave your snow white to me
06:06die snow white
06:13snow white is a man
06:16a man and he's hot
06:20who the hell are you
06:23i'm your
06:25secret lover
06:26snow white's taste is a felony
06:28i get it
06:29you're the queen's assassin
06:31she sent you to kill me
06:32she told me to eliminate you
06:34she just forgot to mention you're a man
06:36and exactly
06:38my type
06:39i've changed my mind
06:41a face like yours
06:43i couldn't possibly pull the trigger
06:47you don't come any closer
06:48the entire palace is under the queen's control
06:51she won't stop until you're dead
06:53but i can protect you
06:55whether you come with me
06:56is your choice
06:58you
06:58protect me
07:00that's right
07:00i'm the coldest killer alive
07:03mr alpha male
07:05he actually let that little trash escape
07:08issue a kingdom-wide manhunt now
07:12a princess with an adam's apple
07:14chest hair shouldn't be hard to spot
07:18for the last time
07:19i am not marrying snow white
07:20i only want lucas
07:21your highness
07:22bad news
07:23snow white has gone missing
07:25missing?
07:26perfect
07:27this snow white has
07:28a suspicious amount of testosterone
07:30wait
07:31snow white is lucas?
07:37i
07:38i can't run anymore
07:43hide
07:47i'll go distract them
07:48you head east
07:50and find your fiance
07:51prince charming
07:52he will protect you
07:53but what about you?
07:55don't worry
07:56i'm a mr alpha male
07:57a few guards can't hurt me
08:00remember
08:01never enter the enchanted forest
08:03there are seven total psychos in there
08:05nobody who goes in ever makes it out alive
08:11damn
08:11he's handsome
08:13too bad he doesn't like men
08:15wait
08:16does he actually like men or not?
08:19hey
08:19you ugly freaks
08:21come and catch me
08:24get him
08:25damn this dress
08:27damn the queen
08:29damn this fairy tale
08:35princess snow white
08:36her majesty request your return to the palace
08:40and what if i say no?
08:42then you'll suffer a little
08:48marcus
08:49what the hell is this jerk doing here?
08:51as long as i'm here
08:52nobody can lay a finger on him
08:54someone thinks a little too highly of themselves
09:02what are you doing?
09:04what are you doing?
09:04stop it
09:05hold the unstoppable secret technique
09:07tickle attack
09:15are you okay?
09:18you're wearing a prince's uniform
09:21you're prince charming?
09:24no no no
09:25if you're prince charming i'd rather die or stuck here forever
09:28lucas still hates me
09:30i should hide my identity for now and give him time
09:33i'm not
09:36i'm not prince charming
09:38i'm his half brother
09:39prince charging
09:40prince
09:42prince charging?
09:43what the hell is that?
09:44look
09:44bright enough to light a whole kingdom
09:46that's why they call me prince charging
09:50even your horse looks gay as hell
09:54i'm heading to find my brother prince charming
09:56why don't we go together?
09:58no thanks
09:59there are wild beasts around here
10:00it's dangerous alone
10:01well even if i'm wearing this stupid dress
10:04i'm still a man
10:05i'm not afraid of any beasts
10:14so want to reconsider my offer?
10:17and just so you know there's more than one snake out here
10:20damn it
10:21i might actually need this jerk to protect me
10:24fine
10:25whatever
10:30stop
10:31in broad daylight
10:32what are you doing?
10:34fixing my shirt
10:36what did you think?
10:39damn
10:40his body is actually amazing
10:42if you want to look
10:44you can be bold
10:45i'd be honored if my muscles have your approval
10:49who's looking?
10:50narcissist
10:52then do you want to touch them?
10:54what are you doing?
10:56what are you doing?
10:58i know you want me to
11:00i don't
11:05kissing a man
11:06actually
11:08feels pretty good
11:21baby open up a little more
11:22no
11:26come on
11:28no marcus
11:36thank god it was just a dream
11:38lucas
11:39lucas
11:39get a grip
11:40you're straight
11:41stop having stupid dreams like that
11:44and the guys you hate the most
11:45i'm straight
11:47i'm straight
11:50being queen feels wonderful
11:51even my hair is smoother than before
11:55this is
11:57my hair!
11:59what happened to my hair?
12:01wow
12:01this means snow white and prince charming have met
12:04what?
12:05from now on
12:06every time their relationship grows a little deeper
12:08you'll lose another patch of hair
12:11and when they truly fall in love
12:13your head will become one perfectly smooth boiled egg
12:17no!
12:19lucas
12:19marcus
12:20i'll kill you both
12:23spread my order
12:24hunt down snow white across the entire kingdom
12:26alive or dead
12:27your majesty
12:29perhaps the legendary magic mirror could cure your boldness
12:33right
12:33the all-knowing mirror
12:35it has to be able to fix my hair
12:37go find that mirror immediately
12:39i want it brought to me within three days
12:43lucas
12:44once i catch you i'll gonna pluck every single hair off your head
12:53look! is that a princess?
12:55princess?
12:56that's obviously a man
12:57a man who likes wearing dresses
13:00hey handsome cute dress
13:02mind lend it to my big sis sometime?
13:05just ignore them
13:07i hate this dress
13:08oh my goodness
13:10whose daughter is this?
13:11she's so tall
13:17mom! that lady has stubble
13:20don't say nonsense
13:22apologize to the lady
13:23wait
13:24he really does have stubble
13:26i'm a man
13:27a man in a dress?
13:29sick
13:30calm down
13:31don't bother with them
13:38look there's a hot girl bathing
13:40man
13:41tonight's our lucky night
13:44why does the voice sound like a guy?
13:47you know nothing
13:47androger and your beauty is trendy
13:52ahhh
13:53ahhh
13:53it's a man
13:54my eyes
13:55hey i haven't even screamed yet
13:56what are you screaming?
13:57i swear i'll never peek at bathing girls again
14:00please stop sending cross-dressing dudes to test me
14:03i've had enough of this
14:04sprite
14:05fairy
14:06whatever
14:06just get out here right now
14:12i want to get rid of this damn dress
14:15well
14:16it's not impossible
14:17play a game with me
14:18and you can change it
14:20what game?
14:21look
14:26no way
14:27whatever the game is
14:28i won't play anything with him
14:29hey
14:30what did i do to you this time?
14:32then i guess you'll just keep wearing the dress
14:34honestly
14:34the more i look at it on you
14:36the better it suits you
14:38fine
14:38what game?
14:41blindfold feeding
14:43lucas puts on the blindfold
14:45marcus sits three meters away
14:47lucas has to walk over and feed the strawberry to marcus
14:50that's it?
14:51easy peasy
14:52but you can't use your hands
14:53you have to hold the strawberry in your mouth
14:55what kind of perverted game is that?
14:58what's wrong?
14:58scared?
14:59who's scared?
15:00i'll just pretend i'm feeding a pet
15:04okay
15:24where are you touching?
15:25shut up
15:37oh my god
15:38does this count as kissing marcus?
15:40this is a straight man's greatest humiliation
15:43his lips
15:44are just as soft as in my dream
15:48wait
15:48why am i reacting?
15:50no no no
15:51that's impossible
15:51what's wrong?
15:52stomach ache?
15:53i'm fine
15:54don't come closer
15:54ho ho
15:56i see what's going on now
15:57shut up
16:00i see what's going on now
16:01you know
16:01i'm actually the same as you
16:05take some time
16:06wait
16:07does this mean i've actually been turned gay?
16:12cooled off yet?
16:14time to change the clothes
16:17finally i can get out of that damn dress
16:22i can't reveal my identity to lucas just yet
16:25please keep it a secret for me
16:26this is getting good
16:28the plot just keeps getting juicier
16:30do you think you're watching a reality show?
16:41hungry?
16:42no i'm fine
16:43here
16:45thirsty?
16:47i said i'm fine
16:48cold?
16:49drop it
16:50i'm not cold
16:56i've never seen such a beautiful flower
16:58this is for you
16:59just so you know
17:00this adorable little flower
17:01completely poisonous
17:09it has no taste at all
17:10i want juice
17:11although there's no juice
17:13honey water on the house
17:14and trust me
17:15we got plenty
17:16you're not trying to
17:18watch me
17:19marcus don't do it
17:22this is gonna end badly
17:28hey there
17:30are they coming?
17:41it's all your fault
17:42we almost got stung to death
17:44and you're still laughing?
17:46you're still cute when you're mad
17:49no no no
17:50i'm straight
17:51totally straight
17:52from now on
17:53you must stay at least
17:54one meter away from me
18:03Marcus!
18:05at your service?
18:06pull me up right now!
18:08didn't you just tell me to keep
18:09more than a meter away from you?
18:11this pit looks at least
18:12three meters deep
18:13which meets your requirement perfectly
18:15Marcus!
18:16stop messing around!
18:17but you literally make that rule
18:18like five seconds ago
18:20asshole just wait till i get up there
18:21i swear
18:22i'm gonna mess you up
18:23why don't you climb up here first
18:25then we'll talk
18:26Marcus!
18:27come back!
18:28jerk
18:29all that talk about liking me was a lie
18:31bullying me at school
18:33and now abandoning me
18:34i almost believed him
18:36crying?
18:39idiot
18:39didn't you leave?
18:41what are you doing back here?
18:42silly boy
18:42i'd never leave you here
18:45grab on
18:46i'll pull you up
18:46i've got you!
18:56aren't you the captain of the football team?
18:58how come you're so weak?
18:59maybe because you're heavier than you look
19:01i'm literally standard weight
19:03the real problem here is you're weak
19:04fine fine
19:05it's all my fault
19:08you can scoot a little closer
19:09trust me
19:10it's way warmer over here
19:12in your dreams
19:13i'd rather freeze to death
19:14fine
19:15have it your way
19:16idiot
19:16freezing your ass off
19:18and still pretending you're fine
19:22damn it
19:23why am i in his arms?
19:26hmm
19:26no wonder he won prom king
19:28two years in a row
19:29he really is good looking
19:32you're awake
19:32i i i was just
19:41what the hell are you doing?
19:45lucas i'm sorry
19:46i just
19:46let me tell you marcus
19:47i'm straight
19:48i could never like you
19:49i was just being impulsive
19:50i'll never forgive you
19:51for bullying me at school
19:52you make me sick
19:55what did you say?
19:56i said
19:57you make me sick
19:58there is no way
19:59i'd ever fall for a jerk
20:00like you
20:02you're right
20:02i am a jerk
20:03i'm such an idiot
20:04for falling for you
20:06marcus let go of me
20:07i'm such a fool
20:08for doing everything
20:09i could to get your attention
20:10for trying to protect you
20:11this whole time
20:13but from now on
20:14i'm not gonna like you anymore
20:17i finally got rid of this jerk
20:18i should be happy
20:19but why do i feel so lost?
20:23we need to figure out
20:24how to get out of here
20:26marcus
20:27i heard you
20:32grab it
20:45thanks
20:46let's go
20:53marcus
20:55where are you
21:03marcus
21:04help
21:08marcus
21:09help
21:12run
21:19i said run
21:21do you hear me
21:23no
21:24i can't leave you
21:25to face this alone
21:30marcus
21:31marcus
21:31get out of here
21:32i can't hold it off
21:33much longer
21:34but you
21:35what i said before
21:36i didn't mean it
21:37i lied to you
21:38what
21:38i still fucking like you
21:41i've liked you
21:42since middle school
21:43and i never stopped
21:51i'm not leaving you
21:52here
22:07are you hurt
22:10no i'm fine
22:11just
22:12my legs are just a little shaky
22:22he actually risked his life to save me
22:25after i was so mean to him
22:26i said
22:27you make me sick
22:28there is no way i'd ever fall for a jerk like you
22:31did i go too far with what i said
22:34if it weren't for him
22:35those scars would probably be on me
22:40it's ready
22:40you first
22:43marcus
22:44i said those things earlier
22:45out of anger too
22:47i know i was way out of line
22:48i'm sorry
22:50lucas
22:51would you just give us a chance
22:53i don't expect you to say yes right now
22:55i just want to know
22:57is there even a tiny chance you could ever like me
23:00how could i ever like a guy
23:02it should be an easy answer
23:03so why is it so hard to say
23:05i'm sorry
23:06i can't
23:07i'm really grateful you saved my life
23:09but i'm straight
23:11and i'll never be anything else
23:13i i'm sorry
23:16i get it
23:17i respect your choice
23:21but i'm still gonna like you anyway
23:27i'm finally free of his nonsense so why don't feel happy at all
23:31get a grip lucas
23:33you're just grateful he saved you
23:35you're not gay
23:36a glowing flower
23:38never seen one of those before
23:41it smells special
23:45it's so hot
23:46what's going on
24:04Marcus
24:08what's wrong
24:10what's wrong
24:13i want you
24:20you've got a fever
24:21why are you burning up
24:30lucas
24:31are you drunk
24:32there isn't even any alcohol out here
24:34marcus
24:35i know you want me
24:37you're not thinking straight
24:38i'm not taking advantage of you like this
25:06don't
25:10don't want
25:11don't stop
25:19oh my god
25:21what am i doing
25:23stop
25:23just stop
25:24no
25:25i like this
25:26no
25:27it has to be that damn pollen
25:32what are you gonna do
25:33kill me
25:34no
25:36you're gonna be my servant
25:42and now i'm ordering you
25:44take me
25:45yes your highness
25:47no
25:56oh
25:58oh
25:59Ah
26:27Morning
26:29Don't touch me!
26:31So now you're denying everything?
26:33You were pretty eager last night.
26:36I don't remember any of it.
26:38And if you tell anyone about last night, I'll cut your tongue out.
26:41This is all that stupid flower's fault.
26:44I only lost control because that damn pollen!
26:46Pollen can't create desire.
26:48It only amplifies what's already there.
26:50Admit it, Lucas.
26:51You want me.
26:53Do I really want him?
26:55No.
26:56There's no way this bastard turned me gay.
27:00That's Prince Charming's castle.
27:02Tomorrow, you'll finally meet him.
27:03Great.
27:04After tomorrow, I won't have to see your annoying face ever again.
27:08Why does it feel like my heart is breaking?
27:10That flower must have fried my brain.
27:12I'm just used to having him around all the time.
27:15That's all.
27:16Don't worry.
27:18Once I get back to the real world, everything will go back to normal.
27:24The last glowing thing we found was an aphrodisiac flower.
27:27Don't tell me this glowing water's some kind of love potion, too.
27:30Why don't you take a sip and find out?
27:34Well, look who finally made it here.
27:36You again?
27:37Every time you show up, something bad happens.
27:39Relax.
27:40I'm just here for the show this time.
27:42This is the Spring of Desire.
27:44If you look into it, you'll see what your heart wants most.
27:47Oh, yeah?
27:48Then let's see what I want most.
27:49Probably a massive feast back in the real world.
27:53Back off.
27:53Okay.
27:55Okay.
28:03No way.
28:04The thing I want most is him.
28:06What did you see?
28:07Why are you so red?
28:08Nothing.
28:09I just saw a beautiful woman bathing.
28:11A beautiful woman bathing?
28:12You really are straight.
28:15You can fool him, but not me.
28:17I know exactly what you saw.
28:20It must be because I'm Snow White.
28:22Maybe this body's female hormones are messing with my head.
28:25Stop lying to yourself.
28:27The Spring of Desire is never wrong.
28:30Do I really like him?
28:32What are you two whispering about?
28:33We were just talking about Lucas's deepest desire.
28:36Shut up!
28:37I'm an honest elf.
28:38My mother raised me never to lie.
28:40Please.
28:41You're just here for the drama.
28:43What are you two even talking about?
28:44Why can't you tell me?
28:46I saw us kissing!
28:48Really?
28:48Lucas, you like me too, don't you?
28:50So what if I do?
28:52I have to fall in love with Prince Charming if I want to leave this place.
28:56Marcus, we can't be together.
28:58It's time to tell Lucas who I really am.
29:00Lucas, wait.
29:01Lucas, there's something I have to tell you.
29:03I'm actually...
29:04I'm actually...
29:13Joanna sent them?
29:15No idea, but they don't look friendly.
29:17On three, we run in opposite directions.
29:20You think you can outrun them?
29:22Pretty sure you failed P.E.
29:23I was the 10-meter sprint champion in kindergarten, thank you very much.
29:28Your Highness, Prince Charming, we finally found you!
29:31Your Highness!
29:33You're Prince Charming?
29:35Your Highness, and this is...
29:37He's Snow White, my fiancé.
29:40No, my fiancé.
29:42Not that either.
29:43Whatever.
29:44He's the one I love.
29:45He's the legendary Snow White with the stubble?
29:47I don't care if he's a man or a woman.
29:49He's the one I'm going to marry.
29:51But His Majesty has given strict orders.
29:54He cannot accept two men marrying.
29:56This Snow White is forbidden from entering the castle.
29:58That old fossil!
29:59People are out here falling in love with ChatGPT.
30:01Lucas is at least a real human being.
30:04His Majesty also said that if you insist on marrying him, he'll hang your embarrassing
30:08baby pics at the castle gate.
30:10Your embarrassing baby pictures?
30:12Your king's got a pretty good sense of humor.
30:16Wait.
30:17So you were fucking lying to me this whole time?
30:20Lucas, I'm sorry.
30:21I didn't mean to deceive you.
30:23I was afraid that if you knew the truth...
30:24I finally accepted my feelings for you.
30:27And all this time, you were just making a fool out of me.
30:30No!
30:30Lucas, I like you.
30:32I would never hurt you.
30:33Enough!
30:33I hate being lied to more than anything.
30:36Lucas, I was wrong.
30:37Please, just let me explain.
30:42Hey, wrong way!
30:43That's the Enchanted Forest!
30:45The Enchanted Forest?
30:46The one no one's ever made it out of alive?
30:49Damn it.
30:51Liar!
30:52You kept saying you liked me, but you were lying to me the whole time!
31:04Who's there?
31:05Another stupid just wandered in.
31:08Perfect.
31:08It's been forever since we've had fresh meat.
31:11He looks delicious.
31:13Oh, crap.
31:14I must have stumbled into the legendary seven villains.
31:18God, I'd kill for a Big Mac right now.
31:23Nope, I can't hold it in.
31:25Did you see his face?
31:27He went completely white.
31:29Ha ha ha ha!
31:35You guys are the legendary seven villains?
31:38You ever seen demons this handsome?
31:40We're not demons.
31:42We're victims.
31:43Victims?
31:45We used to be guards for the evil queen, but she wanted us to take turns being her lovers.
31:50Monday through Sunday.
31:51No repeats.
31:52We're respectable guards, okay?
31:54Not rent boys.
31:55Why would we ever agree to that?
31:56So she got mad, threw us into the Enchanted Forest, and trapped us here with dark magic.
32:01I can't believe the seven dwarves from the fairy tale actually have it this rough.
32:05We've been stuck here so long, we're dying of boredom.
32:08But hey, now you're here.
32:10At least we've got a new face around.
32:11What's your name?
32:12Where are you from?
32:13Do you have a girlfriend?
32:14Please!
32:14That's outdated.
32:15Gay is in now.
32:17So, do you have a boyfriend?
32:19Oh, so there is someone.
32:21No!
32:21Nothing like that!
32:22Then why are you blushing?
32:25I...
32:26I'm hot.
32:27Okay?
32:28Tell us more.
32:35We have a witness who says Snow White ran into the Enchanted Forest.
32:39You boys wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?
32:41Wait, is that guy Snow White?
32:43By order of the queen, if you reveal Snow White's whereabouts, your freedom will be restored.
32:51They know I'm Snow White now?
32:54Are they gonna hand me over?
32:56Oof.
32:57You're too late.
32:58What do you mean?
32:59Snow White got eaten by a beast the second he ran into the Enchanted Forest.
33:03I saw it with my own eyes.
33:04It was brutal.
33:05Total bloodbath.
33:07Want me to take you to the scene?
33:08Though fair warning, you probably won't be able to eat for days.
33:12No, no, no.
33:13That won't be necessary.
33:14As long as I've got something to report back to the queen.
33:18Head back and inform the queen.
33:19Snow White is dead.
33:27Hey!
33:27They're gone!
33:28You're safe now!
33:30Why did you help me?
33:31Because we hate that old witch of a queen.
33:33The enemy of our enemy is our friend.
33:38Your Majesty!
33:39Word from the guard, Snow White is dead!
33:43Finally!
33:44That little noose is dead.
33:46So my hair should grow back now, right?
33:48Oh!
33:49Oh!
33:50No, no, no, no!
33:51No, no!
33:55I thought my hair was supposed to grow back once he died!
33:59That's because Snow White isn't dead.
34:01Who are you?
34:02I'm the all-knowing magic mirror.
34:04Oh, wow, Your Majesty, that hair is a bold choice.
34:07Shut up!
34:07Just tell me how to get my hair back!
34:09As long as Snow White and Prince Charming never fall in love, your hair will grow back.
34:13I'm going to the Enchanted Forest and killing him myself!
34:17Your Majesty, those three hairs of yours would be gone in one gust of wind.
34:20Shut up!
34:21Let me do it.
34:22I hate couples more than anything.
34:23The second I see them acting all sweet, I want to lose it.
34:26All he has to do is take one bite of this apple pie, and it's over.
34:32It's been days, and that bastard Marcus still hasn't come looking for me.
34:36Figures.
34:37You can't trust a word, men say.
34:42Who are you?
34:43I'm the little match girl's sister.
34:45The little apple pie girl.
34:47Sister, with those wrinkles, you look more like the little apple pie grandma.
34:50Oh, I have never seen such a handsome man in my life.
34:54Apple pie handsome?
34:56Wow, smells incredible.
34:58Go on, it's free.
34:59Wait, apples in fairy tales are always poisoned.
35:02You're not Joanna, are you?
35:06Who's Joanna?
35:07In fairy tales, the evil queen dresses up as an old woman and tricks Snow White into eating a poisoned
35:12apple.
35:13Joanna, stop pretending.
35:15I'm not her.
35:17I'm just the little apple pie girl.
35:19I know that's your disguise, Joanna.
35:21And your makeup is terrible.
35:23Hey, you can question my character, but not my makeup skills.
35:27Come on, let's rip the mask off her.
35:33No, no, stop.
35:36So, you really aren't Joanna.
35:38I told you I wasn't, and you still ripped my clothes off.
35:41Sorry, I got it wrong.
35:43I offered you free apple pie, and somehow I'm the bad guy.
35:47Okay, okay, don't cry.
35:48I'll eat it.
35:49I'll eat it.
35:52Lucas!
35:53Lucas!
35:55What are you doing here?
35:57I've been looking for you this whole time.
35:59Looking for me?
36:00What, so you could keep lying to me?
36:02Lucas, can you stop being impossible for one second?
36:04I'm impossible?
36:04You're the one who's heartless, shameless, and impossible.
36:07How am I heartless?
36:07How am I shameless?
36:08How am I impossible?
36:09How are you not heartless?
36:10How are you not shameless?
36:11How are you not impossible?
36:12Fine.
36:13Even if I am heartless, shameless, and impossible?
36:15What are you two doing?
36:16Practicing a damn tongue twister?
36:19Handsome.
36:20Want some apple pie?
36:21Might help you calm down.
36:22I'm not hungry.
36:23Come on.
36:25Eat a little.
36:26You need energy if you're going to keep arguing.
36:28I said I'm not hungry.
36:30Just one bite.
36:30God, you're annoying.
36:32Can't you see we're in the middle of something?
36:34Fine.
36:34I'll eat it.
36:35Happy?
36:42Spit it out!
36:43Do you have any idea how hard that was to make?
36:45I pulled three all-nighters on that pie!
36:49Let go!
36:50What are you doing?
36:51Let him go!
36:52So you do still care about me?
36:53God, I hate couples like you!
36:56Will you two die if you stop acting lovey-dooby for one second?
36:59God!
37:00Calm down.
37:01Don't do anything stupid.
37:02You can always make another one.
37:05Seriously?
37:06It was just an apple pie.
37:07That was my masterpiece!
37:09I spent forever perfecting that poison blend!
37:12Wait.
37:13So you really were sent by Joanna?
37:14Well, obviously.
37:15Why else would I drag myself into this dump of a forest to deliver apple pie?
37:19As long as we're here, you're not hurting Lucas.
37:22I wasn't even planning to hurt him.
37:24A man that handsome is practically in danger.
37:27But the queen gave me orders.
37:29No matter what it takes, I have to keep him and Prince Charmin apart.
37:32Help!
37:33He's trying to stab me!
37:34I'm not!
37:35I was just-
37:39Please!
37:43As long as I'm here, you're not laying a finger on Lucas.
37:46I- I wasn't trying to hurt him.
37:48I was going to kill myself.
37:51I failed my mission.
37:53If I go back, the queen will punish me anyway.
37:55Might as well end it myself.
37:57Oh.
37:58Sorry.
37:59My bad.
38:00Well, be our guest.
38:02Wait.
38:04Your job is to keep Snow White and Prince Charming from ending up together, right?
38:09Then wouldn't poisoning Prince Charming work just as well?
38:12Huh?
38:14You're right!
38:16Poisoning Prince Charming works just as well!
38:19Serves you right for being greedy and snatching someone else's food.
38:22That's what you get.
38:23Alright.
38:24Mission accomplished.
38:26What?
38:28You do realize that pie you just swallowed was poisoned, right?
38:31Right.
38:32The pie was poisoned!
38:37Water!
38:38Somebody get me water!
38:43I think I'm dying.
38:44Ugh!
38:46Huh?
38:47Marcus actually took the fall for you.
38:49That is so moving!
38:51Is this what true love looks like?
38:54If somebody did that for me, I'd marry him on the spot.
38:56I don't care if it's a man, a woman, a cat, or a dog.
38:59He didn't even know the pie was poisoned.
39:01What's so moving about that?
39:02Yeah, but before that, he jumped into that pit for you.
39:05He fought a beast for you.
39:07Keep going and I'm going to fall for him myself!
39:08Lying to you was wrong, but his feelings for you are real.
39:12Lucas, just forgive him.
39:13Yeah, come on, just forgive him!
39:14Alright, alright, I get it, okay?
39:16Marcus, we just did you a huge favor, so how are you going to thank us?
39:19Me?
39:20I'm poisoned!
39:21I'm dying here!
39:22Maybe help me first?
39:24Right, he's poisoned!
39:25Come on, think of something!
39:26Hmm.
39:27But you actually look pretty good.
39:29Your skin's kind of glowing.
39:30Maybe it was fake poison?
39:32Worst case, he gets diarrhea for a couple days.
39:34Okay.
39:35That's a relief.
39:38Marcus!
39:41Marcus!
39:42Okay, we know you hate him, but this is a little much.
39:45He really is poisoned!
39:47Come on, think of something!
39:49I heard my grandpa talk about a miracle cure once.
39:52Hot oil.
39:53Heat kills poison.
39:58This kind of worm feeds on toxins.
40:01If we put it inside Marcus, it'll suck all the poison out of his body.
40:08It says the best way to get poison out is to literally beat it out of him.
40:13Watch this.
40:16You didn't just break his ribs, did you?
40:23I've got another idea.
40:24Enough!
40:24At this rate, the poison won't kill him.
40:26You too will.
40:29Maybe there is one thing that might work.
40:31What?
40:31True love's kiss.
40:33In fairy tales, Snow White eats the poisoned apple, and Prince Charmia's kiss wakes her up.
40:38Yeah, but that's a fairy tale.
40:39This is the real world.
40:40You wouldn't get it.
40:41To me, this is the fairy tale.
40:43This isn't just an excuse to kiss him, is it?
40:45Like I need an excuse?
40:47We've kissed plenty of times already.
40:52I'm only doing this to save him.
40:56And he still says he's not gay.
41:02Why didn't it work?
41:03Maybe your kiss wasn't heartfelt enough?
41:05Shut up!
41:06I'm trying to save him!
41:07Kiss him again!
41:08Kiss him again!
41:10I refuse to believe I can't kiss you awake!
41:17Lucas, it's no use.
41:18He already missed the golden seven-hour window for antidotes.
41:22He's not breathing anymore.
41:23Lucas, I'm sorry.
41:25We should bury him in the prettiest garden in the enchanted forest.
41:29How could you just die like this?
41:31You said you'd protect me forever!
41:34If you're dead, who's supposed to protect me now?
41:36Marcus, you asshole!
41:38I never got to tell you.
41:40I fell for you a long time ago.
41:42Lucas, the grave's ready.
41:44It's time.
41:45I love you, Marcus.
41:50I love you, too.
41:51You're not dead?
41:53I woke up the first time you kissed me.
41:54Then why were you playing dead?
41:56Because I wanted to hear you say you loved me a few more times.
41:58Marcus!
41:59You were messing with me again!
42:02Lucas, thank you.
42:03You've made me the happiest man in the world.
42:11So this is what love looks like.
42:13We're leaving Lucas with you.
42:15You better take good care of him from now on.
42:19For taking care of me all this time.
42:23Wait!
42:24I just thought of a way to get you out of the Enchanted Forest.
42:27The way is...
42:35Lucas!
42:36Ah!
42:37You didn't finish your words!
42:39What was the way out?
42:40Lucas, come back!
42:42Wait.
42:43Could Lucas' method be true love's kiss?
42:47In your dreams!
42:49I am not kissing you!
42:50I mean...
42:51It wouldn't hurt to try.
42:53Ah!
42:57Ah!
42:59Ah!
43:00Ah!
43:02Ah!
43:04Your Majesty!
43:05Good news!
43:06Well, out with it.
43:08Mission accomplished.
43:09Prince Charming is dead.
43:11There's no way those two can end up together now.
43:13Really?
43:14i saw him eat the apple pie with my own eyes he dropped dead right after
43:20excellent if i can't poison that bitch lucas to death then poisoning his prince charming works
43:25just as well so my hair should grow back now right
43:32what what is going on didn't you say prince charming was dead i i saw him eat the pie myself
43:40then why is my hair still falling maybe maybe killing prince charming doesn't work the same way
43:51your majesty your majesty where are you i haven't even told you who the fairest woman in the land is
43:59yet obviously me
44:11i'm back
44:17was was all that just a dream
44:22if all of that was just a dream
44:25then marcus and i you damn bald woman get away from me
44:32honey you can't throw me out you said you were going to marry me i like women with hair i
44:39do not
44:39want to wake up in the middle of the night thinking i'm holding a man my hair will grow back
44:44the doctor
44:44said it's hair loss from stress stress you use my card every day to buy bags shoes and makeup what
44:50exactly are you stressed about if i were still queen i'd have your head chopped off you old fool
44:58queen so it wasn't a dream it was real i wasted years of my youth on an old fossil like
45:05you
45:05you owe me a huge settlement joanna you tried to poison me and you still think you deserve a payout
45:10want to see how fast i call the cops bitch if it weren't for you i'd still be the mighty
45:14queen
45:15joanna don't forget in fairy tales the evil queen never gets a happy ending
45:19in the fairy tale snow white falls for prince charming what about you did you fall for your
45:25prince charming too snow white your father's such an old fossil there's no way he'll accept the whole
45:31lgbt thing he'll definitely throw you out queen snow white are you two doing cosplay or something
45:36if i can't inherit your father's money then you don't get to inherit it either
45:42lucas is my son he's my only heir what happens in this family is none of your business oh yeah
45:47what if your only heir is gay you're gay
45:53i'm not not because i heard you and that boy marcus were all over each other hugging kissing the whole
46:00thing shut up dad yeah i
46:06dad you're not mad truth is i had a boyfriend when i was younger too
46:11what his name was tom six foot three eight pack abs blonde hair blue eyes insanely hot
46:19anyway that's all in the past as long as you two really love each other i don't care if it's
46:23a man
46:24or a woman wow i had no idea gay was hereditary instead of stirring the pot maybe you should focus
46:31on fixing that bald head of yours shut up
46:36so what was that boy's name again marcus i have to go find him
46:47hey nerd lend us some money get lost i don't have time for this
46:51you know who we are and you still talk to us like that i've dealt with the seven bullies
46:56what are you two supposed to be if you're not going to hand it over don't blame us for what
47:00happens next
47:03try touching him see what happens if you run now you might still make it
47:08come on let's go he's the football captain
47:13you okay marcus i missed you lucas what are you doing
47:22marcus weren't we together together since when were we together that's news to me
47:27you don't remember prince charming the enchanted forest the seven boys lucas what are you even
47:33talking about you ate the poisoned apple pie i kissed you you told me you loved me you seriously
47:39don't remember any of it lucas have you been reading too many fairy tales or something was it
47:43all just a dream it wasn't a dream marcus think we went through all of that together lucas i have
47:49no idea what you're talking about and i've never liked you
47:55then why did you save me just now if i see anybody getting bullied
47:59i step in it had nothing to do with you
48:02what the hell happened why doesn't he remember any of it
48:07damn you marcus you turned me gay and now you don't remember any of it
48:24your highness snow white
48:26i'm back in the fairy tale world again you're not back i just moved the fairy tale world into
48:32your house for now wasn't all of this supposed to be over what do you want now relax snow white
48:38and prince charming story still hasn't reached the finale the finale
48:43come on let's see the first ending you're gonna love this one
48:49guys thank god you guys made it out of the enchanted forest
48:54that's thanks to you lucas me but i didn't even finish what i was saying you and marcus gave us
48:58hope
48:59you made us believe true love really can break any curse so we try the true love's kiss thing too
49:05and the curse broke that's amazing i'm so happy for you guys first ending the seven boys break the
49:11evil queen's curse and win back their freedom hold on we're not done yet there's still the second ending
49:17second ending joanna got exactly what she deserved mrs joanna based on your test results your hair is
49:23never growing back no that's impossible your scalp is severely inflamed you need to stop wearing wigs and
49:29what how am i supposed to go out without a wig are you saying i'm supposed to spend the rest
49:33of my
49:33life as a bald beauty bald yes beauty not exactly she'd be bald and alone for the rest of her
49:40life
49:42and now for the third ending the final ending prince charming is about to officially confess to snow white
49:48that ending's probably not happening marcus doesn't remember any of it are you sure he doesn't remember
49:53anything marcus i thought you didn't remember any of it idiot i was messing with you and you said you
50:02didn't even like me i just wanted to make sure i needed to know if you really liked me or
50:06if you
50:06were just moved because of everything that happened in the fairy tale world asshole do you know how
50:10miserable i was i'm sorry lucas i promise i'll never make you feel that way again lucas i love you
50:17will you be my snow wife forever
50:23final ending snow white and prince charming finally get there happily ever after
50:30all right i'm off to mess with the next fairy tale see you in the next story
50:35you
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