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Short filmTranscript
00:04sorry i what's got you so focused you forgot how to walk
00:10get back i give it back beg me
00:20get off me nerd
00:27don't laugh shut the hell up
00:40go pick that ball up or i'm gonna make you regret it
00:50let him go oh come on marcus you mess with him every day now you're playing hero
00:56only i get to bully him
01:01touch him again and i'll twist your head off and use it as a soccer ball
01:07you okay mind your own business he's right this is all your fault and now you're acting
01:12like some hero marcus listen to me the person i hate most in this world is you
01:22lucas i bully you because i fucking like you
01:31lucas you're home i made you your favorite hot cocoa
01:35spare me the fake nice i know what you're doing
01:38you you know you're trying to win me over
01:41but let me make this clear you will never be the lady of this house
01:48what the hell is that were you trying to poison me
01:58your father won't marry me because of you if you're alive i'll never inherit his fortune
02:04so i have to get rid of you if my dad finds out you tried to hurt me
02:08he'll never marry a psycho like you
02:11too bad you won't get the chance to tell him
02:14die
02:21marcus what are you doing here i came down the chimney
02:23lucas i need to explain why i mess with you
02:42let go of me
02:55okay either i'm dead or i blacked out at a renaissance fair
02:59what are you a flying paper cut
03:01ah our prince charming is finally awake
03:04i am the guardian sprite of fairy tales
03:06you awaken me so i brought you into this storybook
03:12oh my god i look like a rejected disney extra
03:17why am i dressed like prince chanam's cousin who sells essential oils
03:21how can i leave this ridiculous place
03:25your highness the king commands you to depart at once to marry the princess snow white of the neighboring kingdom
03:30snow white absolutely not i'm gay i'm not about to drag some innocent girl into a straight marriage starter pack
03:37that's emotional terrorism
03:40you have got to be kidding me
03:42good morning princess
03:44snow white sleep well
03:46i'm a guy
03:46do you see the stubble
03:47the adam's apple
03:48the entire male anatomagy package
03:50hmm yeah that's
03:52not supposed to happen
03:54okay
03:55looks like we've got a role assignment error
03:57let me file a ticket with fairy tale tech support
04:01oh great
04:02so how long is the wait time
04:03three business centuries
04:04why won't this thing come off
04:07i want men's clothes
04:08pant
04:08a hoodie
04:09literally anything with sleeves that aren't made in
04:11can't
04:12your character is snow white
04:14snow white has a dress
04:15it's in the contract
04:16i never signed anything
04:17you did
04:18you just didn't read the terms and conditions
04:20like everyone else
04:22look
04:23you got unlimited dresses
04:24fresh options daily
04:26it's basically princess netflix
04:31no no no no stop
04:33all right
04:34ready to meet your prince charming
04:36he'll be here soon
04:37to marry you
04:39what
04:39i'm straight
04:40i don't like men
04:41tell me how to get out of this nightmare
04:43easy
04:43you just have to truly fall in love with prince charming
04:46you're insane
04:49you inherited your father's heroic masculinity
04:54princess the queen requests your presence
04:59what is it
05:01oh my god lucas
05:03you're snow white
05:06this is amazing
05:07the evil queen
05:09yeah
05:09that tracks
05:11you're dressed like a walking jewelry store
05:13afraid people might miss how greedy you are
05:15oh my dear lucas
05:17in here i'm the queen
05:19i have everything
05:21and honestly
05:22i'm in love with this place
05:24and you
05:25are the key back to reality
05:27so if i want to stay here
05:29i'll have to kill you
05:32you're sure he's the coldest killer in the kingdom
05:37yes your majesty
05:38he's the infamous hunter nicknamed
05:40mr alpha male
05:42i hate women
05:43especially women prettier than me
05:45so snow white the most beautiful cannot be allowed to live
05:52leave your snow white to me
06:06die snow white
06:13snow white is a man
06:16a man and he's hot
06:20who the hell are you
06:23i'm your
06:25secret lover
06:26snow white's taste is a felony
06:28i get it
06:29you're the queen's assassin
06:31she sent you to kill me
06:32she told me to eliminate you
06:34she just forgot to mention you're a man
06:36and exactly
06:38my type
06:39i've changed my mind
06:41a face like yours
06:43i couldn't possibly pull the trigger
06:47you don't come any closer
06:48the entire palace is under the queen's control
06:51she won't stop until you're dead
06:53but i can protect you
06:55whether you come with me
06:56is your choice
06:58you
06:58protect me
07:00that's right
07:00i'm the coldest killer alive
07:03mr alpha male
07:05he actually let that little trash escape
07:08issue a kingdom-wide manhunt now
07:12a princess with an adam's apple
07:14chest hair shouldn't be hard to spot
07:18for the last time
07:19i am not marrying snow white
07:20i only want lucas
07:21your highness
07:22bad news
07:23snow white has gone missing
07:25missing
07:26perfect
07:27this snow white has
07:28a suspicious amount of testosterone
07:30wait
07:31snow white is
07:32lucas
07:37i
07:38i can't run anymore
07:43hide
07:47i'll go distract them
07:48you head east
07:50and find your fiance
07:51prince charming
07:52he will protect you
07:53but what about you
07:55don't worry
07:56i'm a mr alpha male
07:57a few guards can't hurt me
08:00remember
08:01never enter the enchanted forest
08:03there are seven total psychos in there
08:05nobody who goes in ever makes it out alive
08:11damn
08:12he's handsome
08:13too bad he doesn't like men
08:15wait
08:16does he actually like men or not
08:18hey
08:19you ugly freaks
08:21come and catch me
08:24get him
08:26damn this dress
08:27damn the queen
08:29damn this fairy tale
08:34princess snow white
08:36her majesty request your return to the palace
08:40and what if i say no
08:41then you'll suffer a little
08:48marcus
08:49what the hell is this jerk doing here
08:51as long as i'm here
08:52nobody can lay a finger on him
08:54someone thinks a little too highly of themselves
09:02what are you doing
09:04stop it
09:05hold the unstoppable secret technique
09:07tickle attack
09:16are you okay
09:18you're wearing a prince's uniform
09:21you're prince charming
09:24no no no
09:25if you're prince charming i'd rather die or stuck here forever
09:28lucas still hates me
09:30i should hide my identity for now
09:32and give him time
09:33i'm not
09:36i'm not prince charming
09:38i'm his half brother
09:39prince charging
09:40prince
09:41prince charging
09:43what the hell is that
09:44look
09:44bright enough to light a whole kingdom
09:46that's why they call me prince charging
09:50even your horse looks gay as hell
09:54i'm heading to find my brother prince charming
09:56why don't we go together
09:57no thanks
09:59there are wild beasts around here
10:00it's dangerous alone
10:01well
10:02even if i'm wearing this stupid dress
10:04i'm still a man
10:05i'm not afraid of any beasts
10:14so
10:15want to reconsider my offer
10:16and just so you know
10:18there's more than one snake out here
10:20damn it
10:21i might actually need this jerk to protect me
10:24fine
10:25whatever
10:30stop
10:31in broad daylight
10:32what are you doing
10:34fixing my shirt
10:35what did you think
10:39damn
10:40his body is actually amazing
10:42if you want to look
10:44you can be bold
10:45i'd be honored if my muscles have your approval
10:49who's looking
10:50narcissist
10:52then do you want to touch them
10:55what
10:55what are you doing
10:58i know you want me to
11:00i
11:01i don't
11:05kissing a man
11:06actually
11:08feels pretty good
11:21baby open up a little more
11:22no
11:26come on
11:28no marcus
11:36thank god it was just a dream
11:38lucas lucas
11:39get a grip
11:40you're straight
11:41stop having stupid dreams like that
11:44and the guys you hate the most
11:45i'm straight
11:47i'm straight
11:50being queen feels wonderful
11:51even my hair is smoother than before
11:54this is
11:57my hair
11:58what happened to my hair
12:01wow
12:01this means snow white and prince charming have met
12:04what
12:05from now on
12:06every time their relationship grows a little deeper
12:08you'll lose another patch of hair
12:11and when they truly fall in love
12:13your head will become one perfectly smooth boiled egg
12:17no
12:18lucas
12:19marcus
12:20i'll kill you both
12:22spread my order
12:24hunt down snow white across the entire kingdom
12:26alive or dead
12:27your majesty
12:29perhaps the legendary magic mirror could cure your boldness
12:33right
12:33the all-knowing mirror
12:35it has to be able to fix my hair
12:37go find that mirror immediately
12:39i want it brought to me within three days
12:43lucas
12:44once i catch you i'm gonna pluck every single hair off your head
12:53look
12:54is that a princess
12:55princess
12:56that's obviously a man
12:57a man who likes wearing dresses
13:00hey handsome cute dress
13:02mind lend it to my big sis sometime
13:06just ignore them
13:07i hate this dress
13:08oh my goodness
13:10whose daughter is this
13:11she's so tall
13:17mom
13:18that lady has stubble
13:20don't say nonsense
13:22apologize to the lady
13:23wait
13:25he really does have stubble
13:26i'm a man
13:27a man in a dress
13:29sick
13:30calm down
13:31don't bother with them
13:38look there's a hot girl bathing
13:40man tonight's our lucky night
13:44why does the voice sound like a guy
13:46you know nothing
13:47androger and your beauty is trending
13:53it's a man
13:54my eyes
13:55hey i haven't even screamed yet
13:56what are you screaming
13:57i swear i'll never peek at bathing girls again
14:00please stop sending cross-dressing dudes to test me
14:03i've had enough of this
14:04sprite
14:05fairy
14:06whatever
14:06just get out here right now
14:12i want to get rid of this damn dress
14:15well
14:16it's not impossible
14:17play a game with me
14:19and you can change it
14:20what game
14:20look
14:26no way
14:27whatever the game is
14:28i won't play anything with him
14:29hey
14:30what did i do to you this time
14:31then i guess you'll just keep wearing the dress
14:34honestly
14:34the more i look at it on you
14:36the better it suits you
14:38fine
14:38what game
14:41blindfold feeding
14:43lucas puts on the blindfold
14:45marcus sits three meters away
14:47lucas has to walk over
14:48and feed the strawberry to marcus
14:50that's it
14:51easy peasy
14:52but you can't use your hands
14:53you have to hold the strawberry in your mouth
14:55what kind of perverted game is that
14:57what's wrong
14:58scared
14:59who's scared
15:00i'll just pretend i'm feeding a pet
15:03okay
15:23where are you touching
15:25shut up
15:37oh my god
15:38does this count as kissing marcus
15:40this is a straight man's greatest humiliation
15:43his lips
15:44are just as soft as in my dream
15:48wait
15:48why am i reacting
15:50no no no that's impossible
15:51what's wrong
15:52stomach ache
15:53i'm fine don't come closer
15:55ho ho i see what's going on now
15:57shut up
16:01you know
16:01i'm actually the same as you
16:05take some time
16:07wait
16:07does this mean i've actually been turned gay
16:13cooled off yet
16:14time to change the clothes
16:17finally
16:18i can get out of that damn dress
16:22i can't reveal my identity to lucas just yet
16:25please keep it a secret for me
16:26this is getting good
16:28the plot just keeps getting juicier
16:30do you think you're watching a reality show
16:41hungry
16:42no i'm fine
16:43here
16:45thirsty
16:46i said i'm fine
16:48cold
16:49drop it
16:50i'm not cold
16:56i've never seen such a beautiful flower
16:58this is for you
16:59just so you know
17:00this adorable little flower
17:01completely poisonous
17:08it has no taste at all
17:10i want juice
17:11although there's no juice
17:13honey water on the house
17:14and trust me
17:15we got plenty
17:16you're not trying to
17:18watch me
17:19marcus don't do it
17:22this is gonna end badly
17:27hey there
17:41it's all your fault
17:42we almost got stung to death
17:44and you're still laughing
17:46you're still cute when you're mad
17:49no no no
17:50i'm straight
17:51totally straight
17:52from now on
17:53you must stay at least one meter away from me
18:04marcus
18:05at your service
18:06pull me up right now
18:07didn't you just tell me to keep more than a meter away from you
18:11this pit looks at least three meters deep
18:13which meets your requirement perfectly
18:15marcus stop messing around
18:17but you literally make that rule like five seconds ago
18:20asshole just wait till i get up there i swear
18:22i'm gonna mess you up
18:23why don't you climb up here first
18:25then we'll talk
18:26marcus come back
18:28jerk
18:29all that talk about liking me was a lie
18:31bullying me at school
18:33and now abandoning me
18:35i almost believed him
18:37crying
18:39idiot
18:39didn't you leave
18:40what are you doing back here
18:42silly boy
18:42i'd never leave you here
18:45grab on i'll pull you up
18:46i've got you
18:56aren't you the captain of the football team
18:58how come you're so weak
18:59maybe because you're heavier than you look
19:01i'm literally standard weight
19:03the real problem here is you're weak
19:04fine fine it's all my fault
19:08you can scoot a little closer
19:09trust me it's way warmer over here
19:12in your dreams
19:13i'd rather freeze to death
19:14fine have it your way
19:16idiot
19:17freezing your ass off and still pretending you're fine
19:22damn it
19:23why am i in his arms
19:26hmm
19:26no wonder he won prom king two years in a row
19:29he really is good looking
19:32you're awake
19:32i i i was just
19:41what the hell are you doing
19:45lucas i'm sorry i just
19:46let me tell you marcus
19:47i'm straight
19:48i could never like you
19:49i was just being impulsive
19:50i'll never forgive you for bullying me at school
19:52you make me sick
19:55what did you say
19:56i said you make me sick
19:58there is no way i'd ever fall for a jerk like you
20:02you're right i am a jerk
20:03i'm such an idiot for falling for you
20:06marcus let go of me
20:07i'm such a fool for doing everything i could to get your attention
20:10for trying to protect you this whole time
20:13but from now on i'm not gonna like you anymore
20:17i finally got rid of this jerk
20:18i should be happy
20:19but why do i feel so lost
20:23we need to figure out how to get out of here
20:26marcus
20:27i heard you
20:33grab it
20:46thanks
20:46let's go
20:53marcus
20:55where are you
21:02marcus
21:04help
21:08marcus
21:09help
21:11run
21:20i said run do you hear me
21:23no
21:24i can't leave you to face this alone
21:30lucas get out of here
21:32i can't hold it off much longer
21:34but you
21:35what i said before
21:36i didn't mean it i lie to you
21:38what
21:38i still fucking like you
21:41i've liked you since middle school
21:43and i never stopped
21:51i'm not leaving you here
22:07are you hurt
22:10no i'm fine
22:11just
22:12my legs are just a little shaky
22:22he actually risked his life to save me
22:25after i was so mean to him
22:26i said
22:27you make me sick
22:28there is no way i'd ever fall for a jerk like you
22:31did i go too far with what i said
22:34if it weren't for him
22:35those scars would probably be on me
22:40it's ready
22:40you first
22:43marcus i said those things earlier out of anger too
22:47i know i was way out of line
22:48i'm sorry
22:50lucas
22:51would you just give us a chance
22:53i don't expect you to say yes right now
22:55i just want to know
22:57is there even a tiny chance you could ever like me
23:00how could i ever like a guy
23:02it should be an easy answer
23:03so why is it so hard to say
23:05i'm sorry i can't
23:07i'm really grateful you saved my life
23:09but i'm straight
23:11and i'll never be anything else
23:13i i'm sorry
23:16i get it
23:17i respect your choice
23:21but i'm still gonna like you anyway
23:27i'm finally free of his nonsense
23:29so why don't feel happy at all
23:31get a grip lucas
23:33you're just grateful he saved you
23:35you're not gay
23:37a glowing flower
23:38never seen one of those before
23:41it smells special
23:45it's so hot
23:46what's going on
24:04marcus
24:08what's wrong
24:11what's wrong
24:13i want you
24:20you've got a fever
24:22why are you burning up
24:30lucas
24:31are you drunk
24:32there isn't even any alcohol out here
24:34marcus
24:35i know you want me
24:37you're not thinking straight
24:38i'm not taking advantage of you like this
25:06don't
25:10don't want
25:11don't stop
25:19oh my god
25:21what am i doing
25:23stop
25:23just stop
25:24no
25:25i like this
25:26no
25:27it has to be that damn pollen
25:32what are you gonna do
25:33kill me
25:34no
25:36you're gonna be my servant
25:42and now i'm ordering you
25:44take me
25:45yes your highness
25:47don't
25:51thank you
25:51no
25:51if you're gonna be my servant
25:52no
25:52no
25:52no
25:52no
25:54no
25:54no
25:57no
25:57no
25:57no
26:01no
26:16no
26:17no
26:17no
26:17no
26:17no
26:28Morning.
26:29Don't touch me!
26:31So now you're denying everything?
26:33You were pretty eager last night.
26:36I-I-I don't remember any of it.
26:38And if you tell anyone about last night, I'll cut your tongue out.
26:41This is all that stupid flower's fault.
26:44I only lost control because that damn pollen.
26:46Pollen can't create desire.
26:48It only amplifies what's already there.
26:50Admit it, Lucas.
26:51You want me.
26:53Do I really want him?
26:55No.
26:56There's no way this bastard turned me gay.
27:00That's Prince Charming's castle.
27:02Tomorrow, you'll finally meet him.
27:03Great.
27:04After tomorrow, I won't have to see your annoying face ever again.
27:08Why does it feel like my heart is breaking?
27:10That flower must have fried my brain.
27:12I'm just used to having him around all the time.
27:15That's all.
27:16Don't worry.
27:17Once I get back to the real world, everything will go back to normal.
27:24The last glowing thing we found was an aphrodisiac flower.
27:27Don't tell me this glowing water is some kind of love potion, too.
27:30Why don't you take a sip and find out?
27:34Well, look who finally made it here.
27:36You again?
27:37Every time you show up, something bad happens.
27:39Relax.
27:40I'm just here for the show this time.
27:42This is the spring of desire.
27:44If you look into it, you'll see what your heart wants most.
27:47Oh, yeah?
27:48Then let's see what I want most.
27:49Probably a massive feast back in the real world.
27:53Back off.
27:54Okay.
27:55Okay.
28:03No way.
28:04The thing I want most is him.
28:06What did you see?
28:07Why are you so red?
28:08Nothing.
28:09I just saw a beautiful woman bathing.
28:11A beautiful woman bathing?
28:12You really are straight.
28:15You can fool him, but not me.
28:17I know exactly what you saw.
28:20It must be because I'm Snow White.
28:22Maybe this body's female hormones are messing with my head.
28:25Stop lying to yourself.
28:27The spring of desire is never wrong.
28:30Do I really like him?
28:32What are you two whispering about?
28:33We were just talking about Lucas's deepest desire.
28:36Shut up!
28:37I'm an honest elf.
28:38My mother raised me never to lie.
28:40Please.
28:41You're just here for the drama.
28:43What are you two even talking about?
28:44Why can't you tell me?
28:46I saw us kissing!
28:48Really?
28:48Lucas, you like me too, don't you?
28:50So what if I do?
28:52I have to fall in love with Prince Charming if I want to leave this place.
28:56Marcus, we can't be together.
28:58It's time to tell Lucas who I really am.
29:00Lucas, wait.
29:01Lucas, there's something I have to tell you.
29:04I'm actually...
29:13Joanna sent them?
29:15No idea.
29:16But they don't look friendly.
29:17On three, we run in opposite directions.
29:20You think you can outrun them?
29:21Pretty sure you failed P.E.
29:23I was the 10 meter sprint champion in kindergarten, thank you very much.
29:28Your Highness, Prince Charming, we finally found you!
29:31Your Highness!
29:32You're Prince Charming?
29:35Your Highness?
29:36And this is...
29:37He's Snow White, my fiancé.
29:40No.
29:41My fiancé.
29:42Hey, not that either.
29:43Whatever.
29:44He's the one I love.
29:45He's the legendary Snow White with the stubble?
29:47I don't care if he's a man or a woman.
29:49He's the one I'm going to marry.
29:51But His Majesty has given strict orders.
29:54He cannot accept two men marrying.
29:56This Snow White is forbidden from entering the castle.
29:58That old fossil!
29:59People are out here falling in love with ChatGPT.
30:01Lucas is at least a real human being.
30:04His Majesty also said that if you insist on marrying him,
30:07he'll hang your embarrassing baby pics at the castle gate.
30:10You're embarrassing baby pictures?
30:12Your king's got a pretty good sense of humor.
30:16Wait.
30:17So you were fucking lying to me this whole time?
30:20Lucas, I'm sorry.
30:21I didn't mean to deceive you.
30:23I was afraid that if you knew the truth...
30:24I finally accepted my feelings for you.
30:27And all this time, you were just making a fool out of me.
30:30No.
30:30Lucas, I like you.
30:32I would never hurt you.
30:33Enough!
30:33I hate being lied to more than anything.
30:36Lucas, I was wrong.
30:37Please, just let me explain.
30:42Hey! Wrong way!
30:43That's the Enchanted Forest!
30:45The Enchanted Forest?
30:46The one no one's ever made it out of alive?
30:49Damn it.
30:51Liar!
30:52You kept saying you liked me,
30:53but you were lying to me the whole time!
31:04Who's there?
31:05Another stupid just wandered in.
31:08Perfect.
31:08It's been forever since we've had fresh meat.
31:11He looks delicious.
31:13Oh, crap.
31:14I must have stumbled into the legendary seven villains.
31:18God, I'd kill for a Big Mac right now.
31:23Nope, I can't hold it in.
31:25Did you see his face?
31:27He went completely white.
31:35You guys are the legendary seven villains?
31:38You ever seen demons this handsome?
31:40We're not demons.
31:42We're victims.
31:43Victims?
31:45We used to be guards for the evil queen,
31:47but she wanted us to take turns being her lovers.
31:50Monday through Sunday.
31:51No repeats.
31:52We're respectable guards, okay?
31:54Not rent boys.
31:55Why would we ever agree to that?
31:56So she got mad,
31:57threw us into the enchanted forest,
31:59and trapped us here with dark magic.
32:01I can't believe the seven dwarves from the fairy tale
32:03actually have it this rough.
32:05We've been stuck here so long.
32:06We're dying of boredom.
32:08But hey, now you're here.
32:10At least we've got a new face around.
32:11What's your name?
32:12Where are you from?
32:13Do you have a girlfriend?
32:14Please.
32:14That's outdated.
32:15Gay is in now.
32:17So, do you have a boyfriend?
32:19Oh, so there is someone.
32:21No, nothing like that.
32:22Then why are you blushing?
32:26I'm hot, okay?
32:28Tell us more.
32:35We have a witness who says Snow White ran into the enchanted forest.
32:39You boys wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?
32:41Wait, is that guy Snow White?
32:43By order of the queen,
32:44if you reveal Snow White's whereabouts,
32:46your freedom will be restored.
32:51They know I'm Snow White now?
32:54Are they going to hand me over?
32:56Oof, you're too late.
32:58What do you mean?
32:59Snow White got eaten by a beast
33:01the second he ran into the enchanted forest.
33:03I saw it with my own eyes.
33:04It was brutal.
33:06Total bloodbath.
33:07Want me to take you to the scene?
33:08Though fair warning,
33:09you probably won't be able to eat for days.
33:12No, no, no.
33:13That won't be necessary.
33:14As long as I've got something to report back to the queen.
33:18Head back and inform the queen.
33:19Snow White is dead.
33:27Hey!
33:28They're gone.
33:28You're safe now.
33:30Why did you help me?
33:31Because we hate that old witch of a queen.
33:33The enemy of our enemy is our friend.
33:38Your majesty!
33:39Word from the guard.
33:40Snow White is dead.
33:43Finally!
33:44That little noose is dead.
33:46So my hair should grow back now, right?
33:48Oh!
33:49Oh!
33:50No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
33:54Ah!
33:55I thought my hair was supposed to grow back once he died!
33:59That's because Snow White isn't dead.
34:01Who are you?
34:02I'm the all-knowing magic mirror.
34:04Oh, wow, your majesty.
34:05That hair is a bold choice.
34:07Shut up!
34:07Just tell me how to get my hair back.
34:09As long as Snow White and Prince Charming never fall in love, your hair will grow back.
34:14I'm going to the enchanted forest and killing him myself!
34:17Your majesty, those three hairs of yours would be gone in one gust of wind.
34:20Shut up!
34:21Let me do it.
34:22I hate couples more than anything.
34:23The second I see them acting all sweet, I want to lose it.
34:26All he has to do is take one bite of this apple pie, and it's over.
34:32It's been days, and that bastard Marcus still hasn't come looking for me.
34:36Figures.
34:37You can't trust a word, men say.
34:42Who are you?
34:43I'm the little match girl's sister.
34:45The little apple pie girl.
34:47Sister?
34:47With those wrinkles, you look more like the little apple pie grandma.
34:50Oh, I have never seen such a handsome man in my life.
34:54Apple pie handsome?
34:56Wow.
34:57Smells incredible.
34:58Go on, it's free.
35:00Wait.
35:00Apples in fairy tales are always poisoned.
35:02You're not Joanna, are you?
35:06Who's Joanna?
35:07In fairy tales, the evil queen dresses up as an old woman and tricks Snow White into eating
35:11a poisoned apple.
35:13Joanna, stop pretending.
35:15I'm not her.
35:17I'm just the little apple pie girl.
35:19I know that's your disguise, Joanna.
35:21And your makeup is terrible.
35:23Hey, you can question my character, but not my makeup skills.
35:27Come on, let's rip the mask off her.
35:33No, no, stop!
35:36So, you really aren't Joanna.
35:38I told you I wasn't, and you still ripped my clothes off.
35:41Sorry.
35:42I got it wrong.
35:43I offered you free apple pie, and somehow I'm the bad guy.
35:47Okay, okay, don't cry.
35:48I'll eat it.
35:49I'll eat it.
35:52Lucas!
35:53Lucas!
35:55What are you doing here?
35:57I've been looking for you this whole time.
35:59Looking for me?
36:00What, so you could keep lying to me?
36:02Lucas, can you stop being impossible for one second?
36:04I'm impossible?
36:05You're the one who's heartless, shameless, and impossible.
36:07How am I heartless?
36:07How am I shameless?
36:08How am I impossible?
36:09How are you not heartless?
36:10How are you not shameless?
36:10How are you not impossible?
36:12Fine.
36:13Even if I am heartless, shameless, and impossible.
36:15What are you two doing?
36:16Practicing a damn tongue twister?
36:19Handsome.
36:20Want some apple pie?
36:21Might help you calm down.
36:22I'm not hungry.
36:23Come on.
36:25Eat a little.
36:26You need energy if you're going to keep arguing.
36:28I said, I'm not hungry.
36:30Just one bite.
36:30God, you're annoying.
36:32Can't you see we're in the middle of something?
36:34Fine.
36:34I'll eat it.
36:35Happy?
36:42Get it out!
36:43Do you have any idea how hard that was to make?
36:45I pulled three all-nighters on that pie!
36:49Let go!
36:50What are you doing?
36:51Let him go!
36:52So you do still care about me?
36:53God, I hate couples like you!
36:56Will you two die if you stop acting lovey-dooby for one second?
37:00Come on!
37:00Calm down.
37:01Don't do anything stupid.
37:02You can always make another one.
37:05Seriously?
37:06It was just an apple pie.
37:07That was my masterpiece!
37:09I spent forever perfecting that poison blend!
37:12Wait.
37:12So you really were sent by Joanna?
37:14Well, obviously.
37:15Why else would I drag myself into this dump of a forest to deliver apple pie?
37:19As long as we're here, you're not hurting Lucas.
37:22I wasn't even planning to hurt him.
37:24A man that handsome is practically in danger.
37:27But the Queen gave me orders.
37:28No matter what it takes, I have to keep him and Prince Charmin apart.
37:33Help!
37:33He's trying to stab me!
37:34I'm not!
37:35I was just...
37:43As long as I'm here, you're not laying a finger on Lucas.
37:46I...
37:46I wasn't trying to hurt him.
37:48I was going to kill myself.
37:51I failed my mission.
37:53If I go back, the Queen will punish me anyway.
37:55Might as well end it myself.
37:57Oh.
37:58Sorry.
37:59My bad.
38:00Well, be our guest.
38:02Wait.
38:04Your job is to keep Snow White and Prince Charming from ending up together, right?
38:09Then wouldn't poisoning Prince Charming work just as well?
38:12Huh?
38:14You're right!
38:16Poisoning Prince Charming works just as well!
38:19Serves you right for being greedy and snatching someone else's food.
38:22That's what you get.
38:23All right.
38:24Mission accomplished.
38:26What?
38:28You do realize that pie you just swallowed was poisoned, right?
38:32Right.
38:32The pie was poisoned!
38:37Water!
38:38Somebody get me water!
38:43I think I'm dying.
38:47Marcus actually took the fall for you.
38:49That is so moving!
38:51Is this what true love looks like?
38:54If somebody did that for me, I'd marry him on the spot.
38:56I don't care if it's a man, a woman, a cat, or a dog.
38:59He didn't even know the pie was poisoned.
39:01What's so moving about that?
39:02Yeah, but before that, he jumped into that pit for you.
39:05He fought a beast for you.
39:07Keep going and I'm going to fall for him myself!
39:09Lying to you was wrong.
39:10But his feelings for you are real.
39:12Lucas, just forgive him.
39:13Come on, just forgive him.
39:14All right, all right.
39:15I get it, okay?
39:16Marcus, we just did you a huge favor.
39:18So how are you going to thank us?
39:19Me?
39:20I'm poisoned.
39:21I'm dying here.
39:22Maybe help me first?
39:24Right.
39:24He's poisoned.
39:25Come on, think of something.
39:26Hmm.
39:27But you actually look pretty good.
39:29Your skin's kind of glowing.
39:30Maybe it was fake poison.
39:32Worst case, he gets diarrhea for a couple days.
39:34Okay.
39:35That's a relief.
39:38Marcus!
39:41Marcus!
39:42Okay, we know you hate him, but this is a little much.
39:45He really is poisoned.
39:47Come on, think of something.
39:49I heard my grandpa talk about a miracle cure once.
39:52Hot oil.
39:53Heat kills poison.
39:58This kind of worm feeds on toxins.
40:01If we put it inside Marcus, it'll suck all the poison out of his body.
40:08It says the best way to get poison out is to literally beat it out of him.
40:13Watch this.
40:16You didn't just break his ribs, did you?
40:23I've got another idea.
40:24Enough!
40:24At this rate, the poison won't kill him.
40:26You too will.
40:29Maybe there is one thing that might work.
40:31What?
40:31True love's kiss.
40:33In fairy tales, Snow White eats the poisoned apple, and Prince Charmia's kiss wakes her up.
40:38Yeah, but that's a fairy tale.
40:39This is the real world.
40:40You wouldn't get it.
40:41To me, this is the fairy tale.
40:43This isn't just an excuse to kiss him, is it?
40:45Like I need an excuse?
40:47We've kissed plenty of times already.
40:52I'm only doing this to save him.
40:56And he still says he's not gay.
41:02Why didn't it work?
41:03Maybe your kiss wasn't heartfelt enough?
41:05Shut up!
41:06I'm trying to save him!
41:07Kiss him again!
41:08Kiss him again!
41:10I refuse to believe I can't kiss you awake!
41:17Lucas, it's no use.
41:18He already missed the golden seven-hour window for antidotes.
41:22He's not breathing anymore.
41:23Lucas, I'm sorry.
41:25We should bury him in the prettiest garden in the enchanted forest.
41:29How could you just die like this?
41:31You said you'd protect me forever!
41:33If you're dead, who's supposed to protect me now?
41:36Marcus, you asshole!
41:38I never got to tell you.
41:40I fell for you a long time ago.
41:42Lucas, the grave's ready.
41:44It's time.
41:45I love you, Marcus.
41:50I love you, too.
41:51You're not dead?
41:53I woke up the first time you kissed me.
41:55Then why were you playing dead?
41:56Because I wanted to hear you say you loved me a few more times.
41:58Marcus!
41:59You were messing with me again!
42:02Lucas, thank you.
42:04You've made me the happiest man in the world.
42:11So this is what love looks like.
42:13We're leaving Lucas with you.
42:15You better take good care of him from now on.
42:18Thank you for taking care of me all this time.
42:23Wait!
42:24I just thought of a way to get you out of the enchanted forest.
42:28The way is...
42:35Lucas!
42:37You didn't finish your words!
42:39What was the way out?
42:40Lucas, come back!
42:42Wait.
42:43Could Lucas' method be true love's kiss?
42:47In your dreams!
42:49I am not kissing you!
42:50I mean...
42:51It wouldn't hurt to try.
42:53Ah!
42:57Ah!
43:04Your Majesty!
43:05Good news!
43:06Well, out with it.
43:08Mission accomplished.
43:09Prince Charming is dead.
43:11There's no way those two can end up together now.
43:13Really?
43:14I saw him eat the apple pie with my own eyes.
43:17He dropped dead right after.
43:20Excellent!
43:21If I can't poison that bitch Lucas to death,
43:23then poisoning his Prince Charming works just as well!
43:27So my hair should grow back now, right?
43:32What?
43:33Ah!
43:34What is going on?
43:36Didn't you say Prince Charming was dead?
43:38I saw him eat the pie myself!
43:41Then why is my hair still falling?
43:43Maybe...
43:44Maybe killing Prince Charming doesn't work the same way.
43:46Ah!
43:47I'm gonna kill you!
43:49Ah!
43:52Your Majesty?
43:54Your Majesty!
43:55Where are you?
43:56I haven't even told you who the fairest woman in the land is yet!
44:03Obviously me.
44:12I'm back?
44:17Was...
44:17Was all of that just a dream?
44:22If all of that was just a dream,
44:25then Marcus and I...
44:26You damn bald woman!
44:28Get away from me!
44:32Honey, you can't throw me out!
44:34You said you were going to marry me!
44:37I like women with hair!
44:38I do not want to wake up in the middle of the night thinking I'm holding a man!
44:42My hair will grow back!
44:44The doctor said it's hair loss from stress!
44:46Stress?
44:47You use my card every day to buy bags, shoes, and makeup!
44:50What exactly are you stressed about?
44:52If I were still Queen, I'd have your head chopped off, you old fool!
44:57Queen?
44:58So it wasn't a dream.
45:00It was real!
45:01I wasted years of my youth on an old fossil like you!
45:05You owe me a huge settlement!
45:07Joanna, you tried to poison me and you still think you deserve a payout?
45:10Want to see how fast I call the cops?
45:12You bitch!
45:13If it weren't for you, I'd still be the mighty Queen!
45:15Joanna, don't forget.
45:17In fairy tales, the evil Queen never gets a happy ending.
45:20In the fairy tale, Snow White falls for Prince Charming.
45:23What about you?
45:24Did you fall for your Prince Charming too, Snow White?
45:27Your father's such an old fossil.
45:29There's no way he'll accept the whole LGBT thing.
45:32He'll definitely throw you out.
45:34Queen?
45:34Snow White?
45:35Are you two doing cosplay or something?
45:37If I can't inherit your father's money, then you don't get to inherit it either!
45:42Lucas is my son.
45:43He's my only heir.
45:45What happens in this family is none of your business.
45:47Oh yeah?
45:47What if your only heir is gay?
45:49You're gay?
45:53I'm not...
45:54Not?
45:55Because I heard you and that boy Marcus were all over each other,
45:58hugging, kissing, the whole thing.
46:00Shut up!
46:02Dad, yeah, I...
46:07Dad, you're not mad?
46:08Truth is, I had a boyfriend when I was younger too.
46:11What?
46:12His name was Tom.
46:13Six foot three, eight pack abs, blonde hair, blue eyes, insanely hot.
46:19Anyway, that's all in the past.
46:21As long as you two really love each other,
46:23I don't care if it's a man or a woman.
46:26Wow, I had no idea gay was hereditary.
46:29Instead of stirring the pot,
46:30maybe you should focus on fixing that bald head of yours.
46:33Shut up!
46:36So, what was that boy's name again?
46:39Marcus.
46:40I have to go find him.
46:47Hey, nerd, lend us some money.
46:49Get lost.
46:50I don't have time for this.
46:51You know who we are,
46:52and you still talk to us like that?
46:54I've dealt with the seven bullies.
46:56What are you two supposed to be?
46:57If you're not going to hand it over,
46:59don't blame us for what happens next.
47:03Try touching him.
47:04See what happens.
47:06If you run now, you might still make it.
47:08Come on, let's go.
47:09He's the football captain.
47:13You okay?
47:14Marcus!
47:15I missed you!
47:16Lucas!
47:18What are you doing?
47:21Marcus?
47:23Weren't we together?
47:24Together?
47:25Since when were we together?
47:26That's news to me.
47:27You don't remember?
47:28Prince Charming?
47:30The Enchanted Forest?
47:31The Seven Boys?
47:32Lucas, what are you even talking about?
47:34You ate the poisoned apple pie!
47:36I kissed you!
47:37You told me you loved me!
47:38You seriously don't remember any of it?
47:40Lucas, have you been reading too many fairy tales or something?
47:43Was it all just a dream?
47:44It wasn't a dream!
47:45Marcus, think!
47:46We went through all of that together!
47:48Lucas, I have no idea what you're talking about.
47:52And I've never liked you.
47:55Then why did you save me just now?
47:57If I see anybody getting bullied, I step in.
48:00It had nothing to do with you.
48:03What the hell happened?
48:04Why doesn't he remember any of it?
48:07Damn you, Marcus.
48:09You turned me gay, and now you don't remember any of it.
48:24Your Highness Snow White.
48:27I'm back in the fairy tale world again?
48:28You're not back.
48:30I just moved the fairy tale world into your house for now.
48:33Wasn't all of this supposed to be over?
48:35What do you want now?
48:36Relax.
48:37Snow White and Prince Charming's story still hasn't reached the finale.
48:40The finale?
48:43Come on, let's see the first ending.
48:45You're gonna love this one.
48:49Guys!
48:50Thank God!
48:51You guys made it out of the Enchanted Forest!
48:54That's thanks to you, Lucas!
48:55Me?
48:56But I didn't even finish what I was saying.
48:58You and Marcus gave us hope.
48:59You made us believe true love really can break any curse.
49:02So, we tried the true love's kiss thing too, and the curse broke.
49:06That's amazing!
49:06I'm so happy for you guys!
49:09First ending.
49:09The seven boys break the evil queen's curse and win back their freedom.
49:14Hold on.
49:15We're not done yet.
49:15There's still the second ending.
49:17Second ending.
49:19Joanna got exactly what she deserved.
49:21This is Joanna.
49:22Based on your test results, your hair is never growing back.
49:24No!
49:25That's impossible!
49:26Your scalp is severely inflamed.
49:27You need to stop wearing wigs immediately.
49:29What?
49:30How am I supposed to go out without a wig?
49:31Are you saying I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life as a bald beauty?
49:35Bald?
49:35Yes.
49:36Beauty?
49:36Not exactly.
49:38She'd be bald and alone for the rest of her life.
49:42And now for the third ending.
49:44The final ending.
49:45Prince Charming is about to officially confess to Snow White.
49:48That ending's probably not happening.
49:50Marcus doesn't remember any of it.
49:52Are you sure he doesn't remember anything?
49:56Marcus?
49:57I thought you didn't remember any of it.
49:59Idiot.
49:59I was messing with you.
50:01And you said you didn't even like me.
50:03I just wanted to make sure.
50:04I needed to know if you really liked me, or if you were just moved because of everything
50:07that happened in the fairy tale world.
50:09Asshole!
50:10Do you know how miserable I was?
50:12I'm sorry, Lucas.
50:13I promise I'll never make you feel that way again.
50:16Lucas, I love you.
50:17Will you be my Snow White forever?
50:23Final ending.
50:24Snow White and Prince Charming finally get there happily ever after.
50:30Alright, I'm off to mess with the next fairy tale.
50:34See you in the next story.
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