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  • 3 hours ago
Date: 3rd June 2008

Val storms round to see Lisa when the tablecloths aren't delivered on the morning of the contest. On arrival, Val is knocked unconscious when Lisa accidentally opens the door into her face. Lisa agrees to allow Eli to take care of Val while she delivers the table cloths, but on her return she finds that Eli has taken Val hostage in the barn. Eli insists that there's money to be made from Val's capture, since she's getting married. A newly awakened Val is horrified to hear the revelation and this turns to fury as she's filled in on Eric's cheapskate wedding plans. Shocking the Dingles, Val insists that the ransom continue, providing she gets a cut. In agreement, Eli makes the call. Eric is distraught to hear of Val's kidnapping and breaks down when he realises he doesn't have the funds to pay the ransom. However, remembering Lisa's hasty retreat after dropping off the table cloths, Eric smells Dingle involvement. After interrogating the Dingles and them denying any involvement, Eric opens up to the family and reveals that he truly wanted to give Val her perfect wedding. Hearing his sincerity, Val pops up, hoping for a reconciliation. However, Eric is aghast and a massive argument erupts between the pair with both insisting the wedding is off.

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Transcript
00:09Oh! I've killed Val!
00:17Eli!
00:18He's in the stable!
00:20Is he?
00:21What's he playing at?
00:23Eli!
00:24Eli!
00:25Eli!
00:26Eli!
00:27Oh! Oi! I'll keep it down!
00:30Have you got Val in there?
00:32Yeah, yeah. Still a bit.
00:34Ah! Well, why did you move her?
00:35A bit of privacy.
00:36Yeah, you dirty devil.
00:38No! What?
00:39Look at that blue, right?
00:41Had a stroke of genius, didn't I?
00:42This, right, is the answer to all our problems, mate.
00:47Perfect!
00:48Hang it!
00:52Move your tiny mind!
00:54Look, right, Pollard is desperate, right?
00:57We need the reddies. What's big deal?
00:59Apart from umpteen years in prison, forgive that!
01:02No, no, no, relax.
01:03Look, look, I bagged her before she opened her eyes.
01:07Sounds like a good idea to me.
01:09See, a nice one, Shadders.
01:10We are not doing it!
01:13Look, we've got to clean up, can't we?
01:14Eh?
01:15I've had enough of this. I'm going to let her have.
01:16No, let me just have a blip.
01:17Well, do it the hard way, then.
01:19Don't you have something to rub on?
01:20Get down!
01:22They were an accident.
01:24Oh, I just slipped and found myself tied to a chair with a sack over me head, did I?
01:30There's been a misunderstanding.
01:32A misunderstanding?
01:34Well, now, it's your turn to be sacked.
01:37How does it feel?
01:38Get me untied before I have you arrested as well, you bunch of inbred.
01:41I told you, we should have done it my way, didn't I?
01:44I say, leave her there, let her miss a flaming wedding.
01:48Weasel!
01:49Well, I think it's romantic, like a fairy tale.
01:53Except he's not doing it for love or romance.
01:56He's doing it to save money.
01:58You don't know that for sure, eh?
02:00This is Eric Pollard we're talking about.
02:03She's got a boiler, no?
02:04Oh, hi. I'll get that for you.
02:07Oh, talk of the devil.
02:10Shall I answer it for you?
02:11No!
02:12He's the last person I want to speak to right now.
02:17I'll get that.
02:18Don't you dare.
02:20You?
02:22I'm staying kidnapped.
02:24Madness!
02:25It was your idea to kidnap me in the first place.
02:28It's got nothing to do with me?
02:29I suppose I knocked myself out, did I?
02:31I'm giving you a chance to earn a few quid here.
02:34You are dingles, aren't you?
02:35Right, how much?
02:37I'll split the ransom 50-50.
02:39Just hang on a minute.
02:40He's right, you know.
02:41We're the ones who's taking out risk here.
02:4370-30.
02:4460-40.
02:45Final offer.
02:47All right.
02:49Right.
02:50Now, let's make Eric wish he'd never been born.
02:55They want 10,000 pounds.
02:57How much?
02:59You've got to do something.
03:00I'm scared, Eric.
03:01I will.
03:02I will.
03:03Just remain calm, OK?
03:07Are you happy now, are you?
03:08If you hurt her...
03:10Shut up, William.
03:12Don't do anything daft, Narvalock.
03:13Ring in the roses.
03:14Oh, she will get hit.
03:24Hey, I'd love to see this first.
03:26I brought her in a picture.
03:27Pull the blind to them.
03:29Oh, hey.
03:31Diahed and Paul must have been in on it as well.
03:35How could they?
03:37I think I better...
03:39Feed the pigs?
03:40Yeah, that's it, yeah.
03:41Yeah, I'll get you down.
03:44Come on, lovey.
03:45I'll make you a nice cup of tea.
03:48With a brandy.
03:50See what I can find.
03:56Don't run, don't run away.
04:03Spallon!
04:03Oh, please, guest.
04:05I knew what happened.
04:06Yeah, well, we don't know that yet, do we?
04:07So just keep it cool, will you?
04:08Cool?
04:09I'll knock his flaming block.
04:10All right, all in good time.
04:11For now, just get behind there, will you?
04:12And keep the stomach natural.
04:13Come on.
04:14Pull that tongue.
04:17Where is she?
04:19Have you ever heard of knocking?
04:20I know, you know it's rude
04:22to just be bursting through someone's door.
04:24I know, but you're up to, don't I?
04:26I'm onto your little scam.
04:27What are you, Oliver?
04:28You've got her here somewhere.
04:30Valerie!
04:30Eric.
04:31Man.
04:31You're losing the plot while we have Val.
04:33Revenge.
04:35Greed.
04:35Who knows with you lot?
04:37Well, the game was up.
04:38I want her back.
04:39No!
04:39Oh, we can't give you what we haven't got!
04:45You're very quiet, Lisa.
04:48Something you want to tell me, hmm?
04:50No.
04:52Right.
04:54Well, I shall call the police.
04:55Get them to search the police.
04:57Oh, fill your boots, man.
04:59We're not too high.
05:06How did you do that?
05:07Do what?
05:10Where's Bella?
05:11Is she in on this too?
05:12Did someone want me?
05:21It's not you.
05:23It's not you.
05:24It's an order myself.
05:24He like leaving.
05:25Oh, let's have it right, yeah.
05:26He comes round here accusing us of all sorts.
05:29Look, you heard, Lisa, butn't it!
05:31Now, look, I'm sure Val will be okay.
05:34She has been kidnapped.
05:38We were supposed to be getting married half an hour ago.
05:40You're joking.
05:41No one told her.
05:42It was meant to be a surprise.
05:45Well, maybe you should have told Val.
05:47Some people don't like surprises.
05:48Oh, Val, leave Mr Pollard alone.
05:51He's got a lot on his mind.
05:52No, no, no, no.
05:53She's right.
05:55It was a stupid idea.
05:58If I'm honest, I did want to try and save some money.
06:03You know what Val's like.
06:05She has these wild ideas.
06:07It better cost me a fortune.
06:09Ah, for what price?
06:10Love her.
06:11I did want it to be special, and she deserves the best.
06:16It's just that I wanted it to be about us.
06:21What we mean to each other.
06:23And, er, what is that exactly?
06:29We're a team.
06:32Soulmates.
06:34It's taken me a long time to realise that,
06:36but now that I do,
06:38I can't face the thought of losing her.
06:40So, Eric, cuff up the Reddies, man.
06:43Get her back.
06:43Yeah, I will.
06:45Even if it takes everything I've got.
06:49I can't help it, you see.
06:52I love her.
06:55And why didn't you say that in the first place?
07:02That's my wedding reception!
07:04And it would have been great!
07:05It would have been free, you mean!
07:07Oh, I don't know what I saw in you in the first place!
07:09The feeling is mutual, I can assure you.
07:11And I'm glad you found out,
07:13because you stopped me from making a very stupid mistake!
07:16Well, you'll flatter yourself!
07:17I would have turned you down with the altar!
07:18Oh, would that be the sacrificial altar?
07:20I beg your pardon!
07:21I beg your pardon!
07:22What do you mean the sacrificial altar?
07:25You...
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