Off Campus (2026) Episode 6

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Transcript

00:02Happy Thanksgiving, Doris.

00:11They didn't see you.

00:25Night-night.

00:30Wellesie?

00:34Wellesie?

01:00We can make it happen at my sex morning.

01:03Whoa!

01:03What the fuck?

01:06You again.

01:07No, not me again.

01:08You again.

01:10Are you seriously hooking up on top of me?

01:12Well, this is my house.

01:13Yeah, where you presumably have a room.

01:15It's you from the bathroom.

01:17Yes, we've established it's me.

01:18Did you follow me?

01:19I was here first.

01:20Well, it's not my fault you won't leave me alone.

01:22Well, it's not my fault you can't survive two seconds without sticking your dick in someone.

01:25Oh.

01:26No offense.

01:28All good.

01:28You could have taken.

01:29I'd take offense.

01:30No one asked you.

01:30You know, we don't really need him.

01:33You want to go back to mine?

01:34Mm-hmm.

01:35Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

01:36She's leaving in a second, and...

01:38Jesus!

01:46Happy now?

01:47A little bit.

01:51Whatever.

01:56I'm going outside.

02:09So you're breaking up with your boyfriend?

02:12What?

02:13I'm not breaking up with him.

02:18You want to, though.

02:23You guys have been together since your freshman year, on and off, but now you're not sure

02:27about your future, because the dude's going to move to Vermont and be a boring insurance

02:31salesman, and you, you want to act.

02:38How...

02:39You told pretty much everyone tonight at karaoke.

02:44Oh, my God.

02:49Okay, so what are you going to do?

02:52I don't know.

02:53This whole thing.

03:00I just...

03:02My dad gave up so much to be there for my mom when she...

03:08And I know that meant everything to her.

03:13Her relationship was beautiful, and I want that.

03:21I don't know.

03:21But...

03:22You don't want to move to Vermont?

03:24No.

03:26Okay.

03:26So...

03:27What do you want, Allie?

03:31I guess...

03:32I want to be in love.

03:35But I don't want that to make it impossible for me to, like, move to L.A.

03:38or take a show to Edinburgh, work my ass off on Broadway, you know?

03:44I want to be able to do it all.

03:46Even though I know it's more likely I'll succeed at none of it.

03:51It's dumb.

03:52Hell no.

03:54That's not dumb.

03:56If that's what you want, go after it.

03:58People who care about you will understand.

04:00And if they don't, they're not your people.

04:04Okay.

04:05Which one of your exes taught you to be so insightful?

04:09I don't have any exes.

04:11It's...

04:12the weed.

04:13Wait.

04:14Dean De Laurentiis has never had a girlfriend?

04:17I like being the casual sex guy. It's easy.

04:21I have heard you're easy.

04:28I'm Six Flags, baby.

04:30Everybody wants a ride.

04:32They come for a good time, not a long time, and that's fine by me.

04:36Is it?

04:48Looking at it will make them text.

04:49No.

04:50No, you're so right here.

04:52Save me from myself.

04:58What...

04:59When you break up with this guy which you will you're gonna want a fun ride to distract you

05:07Call me

05:09Sorry, dude, I don't do roller coasters

05:56Oh

06:04Hello, yeah, I know I said I wouldn't call

06:09And yet you're calling I

06:17Broke up with Sean

06:21I'm sorry. No, you're not. No, I'm not

06:29I really want to call him but you called me instead I

06:35Did you lied about what?

06:41You like roller coasters

06:45No

06:47I fucking love roller coasters

07:05I just broke up with Sean. I can't hurt his feelings. This is a one-time thing

07:15Tell no one

07:17I got it

07:17Hey big

07:41Was this the last time?

07:56Okay, this is the last time.

08:35I'm sorry, I just need to know it's fine man just just go okay

09:00I just think this is really important to Garrett that this goes well that's what relationships are for honey bun

09:05supporting each other helping each other grow as people

09:09can all be about sex and fun

09:14bus almost here gotta go what no Garrett can just drive you it's fine I love a bus you hate

09:21a bus it's fine

09:24love you

09:26Happy Thanksgiving

09:44Happy Thanksgiving

09:44All roads lead back to Dean

09:46This is just a ride

09:48Allie this is

09:49Bo Maxwell

09:50Yeah

09:51Joanna Maxwell's little brother

09:52Oh yeah you know Joe

09:53Well I don't know her know her but I know her in the way that she's like a god who

09:57walks among us

09:58She booked a Lynn Nottage play like a week after graduating and now she's in Dea's understudy in Oleana on

10:03Broadway

10:04Joanna Maxwell's like iconic

10:05You're allowed to just call her Joanna you know that

10:09Okay sorry I bet you're so sick of theater talk

10:11What are you kidding?

10:12You're looking at the guy who skipped his midterm to go see Jay Groff and Merrilee

10:15No way

10:16Do these fit on you?

10:17Oh don't get them started

10:18So much

10:19I was in like the sixth row

10:20Shut up

10:21Okay favorite musical of all time

10:23Three

10:24Two

10:24One

10:25In the Heights

10:26Fuck off

10:27Stop

10:27You guys just met

10:28Okay okay second favorite

10:29Three

10:30Two

10:31One

10:31Little Shop

10:32Oh my god you guys

10:35What'd you say?

10:41Oh my god oh my god you guys

10:44What is this?

10:44Hell?

10:45You're receiving an education

10:49What is this?

10:51What?

10:51You may be perfect for a blonde but I'm not that blonde

10:53I may be in love but I'm not stupid lady

10:56I got eyes

10:57Oh my god

10:58Oh good

10:59Sorry I'm a mistake

11:00Courtney

11:01Take your brain

11:02No no no no no

11:03Ignore her she wasn't

11:04No I can't

11:04Don't listen to him Ali

11:06Alright Dean was indoctrinated by Joanna just like the rest of us

11:09What?

11:10I don't know what you mean by that

11:11Yeah you do

11:11Dean you sing?

11:12Absolutely not

11:13Dean was more of a dancer

11:16Stop

11:17Please tell me there's a video

11:18Oh there's a video

11:19I will kill you

11:26Okay the sunglasses are too good

11:28Why were there sunglasses you ask?

11:30No reason

11:31No reason at all

11:31Okay well you are sending this to me

11:33No you're not

11:34Obviously

11:34Need to ride back Friday

11:36Do I get to DJ?

11:37Hell yeah you get to DJ

11:38As long as you exclusively play songs that'll make me miserable

11:42On second thought I think you should take the bus

11:43No no no no no don't listen to him Ali he can hitchhike to New York

11:56See you Friday

12:01You're alone now can we talk about Aunt Kathy's new British accent?

12:04And she goes by Kiera now

12:05And she goes by Kiera now

12:06It's like a whole thing

12:07Wasn't she in London for like a week?

12:13Al?

12:15No

12:16Yeah totally

12:18Okay what's going on?

12:20No nothing

12:20It's just like everyone's over

12:24Hey Ali Hayes I can hear your nails

12:26Who are you texting?

12:27What?

12:28Nobody

12:29It's Shawn you're backsliding

12:31I am not

12:31Hey it's okay

12:33It's my dad

12:34He um

12:35He can't find the remote again

12:37He uh

12:38I swear he has ADHD

12:39But his generation's undiagnosable

12:41Okay

12:43Okay I should probably go help

12:45Love you miss you

12:46Gobble gobble

13:08Hey

13:10Happy Thanksgiving

13:14Cute

13:14Yeah my dad gets me one every year

13:20Holy shit

13:23I mean

13:25I kind of hate you

13:26But

13:27Holy fucking shit

13:30Thanks

13:36Oh I mean seriously

13:38It's like

13:39Gwyneth Paltrow's AD tour

13:40And the Guggenheim at a baby

13:47You said this wasn't a date

13:48It's not

13:49Feels like a date

13:50It's not

13:51It's a good bottle of wine my parents won't miss

13:55Happy Thanksgiving

13:58Happy Thanksgiving

14:04Okay

14:05Do you want the tour?

14:07Is it gonna make me hate you more?

14:11Probably

14:12Your sister's closet is the size of my bedroom

14:15I could literally live in it

14:16I don't know why one person needs so many vintage bags

14:19Usually we have a Baski out there but it's on loan to the Whitney

14:27Okay, let's see it

14:30What?

14:32Your big move

14:33Grand finale

14:34I don't know what you're talking about

14:40Fine

14:41There's a piano in the den and I usually end the tour there

14:45And I talk about the piano

14:47Then they ask if I play and then I say

14:50Kind of

14:51Kind of

14:52Exactly

14:53Then I sit down and I play Mad World

14:56Mad World?

14:57It's the only song I know

14:59And it works

14:59It works

15:00Okay?

15:01Can you be normal?

15:03It's just me

15:04I am being old

15:05No, you're not

15:07What would you be doing if I wasn't here?

15:15You play chess by yourself?

15:16I had to get better than Summer

15:18She's a chaos monster

15:20My dad taught us when we were little

15:22It was a family tradition

15:24That's sweet

15:25It's cutthroat

15:28Where is your family now?

15:31St. Barts

15:32We have a

15:33We have a place here

15:34Sounds terrible

15:35Hmm, doesn't it?

15:38You know, I'm so glad Jensen's making this practice on Friday

15:40Cause otherwise I'd be

15:42You know, I'd be laying on a beach

15:44Day drinking with Nick

15:45And destroying Summer and beach volleyball

15:47God, you need a tough life dealer in us

15:50The worst

15:56I'm sorry you can't be with your family though

16:00Seems like you miss them

16:03It's not good to be here with you

16:06Also

16:10Shit

16:11Come on

16:11Never

16:12Never

16:13Ever

16:13Let the enemy distract you

16:19Kate?

16:19?

16:28Any though

16:45Have a seat

16:46Every

16:46Here

16:46Wow

17:03Never let the enemy distract you.

17:43It's not too late to make love, but I don't want to have to make up.

17:49No, I don't want to have to make up.

17:53It's never too late to make love, but I don't want to have to make up.

18:00No, I don't want to have to make up.

18:04It's never too late to make love, but I don't want to have to make up.

18:10No, I don't want to have to make up.

18:37To be honest, how many of your neighbors have seen you butt naked?

18:42Literally all of them.

18:50Sorry, it's the guys.

18:52Take it.

18:54Seriously?

18:59Hello?

18:59Hey, what are you? Are you already asleep?

19:02It's called Trip to Fan, motherfuckers.

19:05Where are you?

19:06In fucking New York, on Thanksgiving.

19:10Yankee stuff! Yankee stuff!

19:12Hey, Yankee stuff!

19:14Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

19:15Well, at least I'm not freezing my ass off at the rink.

19:18Uh, so I took my apple and my hat.

19:21Take a look.

19:22Do you never have a shirt on?

19:25Well, don't stick to the bubble.

19:28Happy Thanksgiving!

19:32Happy Thanksgiving, dorks.

19:39I didn't see you.

19:44This just must be a one-time thing.

19:46Like Hannah's stupid happy and Garrett's your friend.

19:49I can't mess that up.

19:50How is this messing it up?

19:51By making her thing about me.

19:53She deserves this.

19:54And the second people find out we're...

19:58They're gonna ask what this is.

19:59No, no.

19:59No one's gonna ask that.

20:00They're not gonna ask you that.

20:05People are gonna talk and Sean will find out and I can't hurt him.

20:09I called you, what, 36 hours after I broke up with him?

20:13That's less than 48.

20:15Oh my God.

20:16I fucked you less than 48 hours after breaking up with Sean.

20:19We had fun.

20:20We were safe.

20:20We didn't hurt anyone.

20:21Yeah.

20:22So let's keep it that way.

20:23Allie, come on.

20:26I'm sorry.

20:27I have to go.

20:29Allie.

20:29There you stood behind your glasses.

20:35There you stood.

20:37There you stood.

20:38Regret the past, but...

20:40Regretting all the things that passed, but...

20:44Hey.

20:45How was practice?

20:47It was fine.

20:48Okay.

20:49Good.

20:50Are you gonna practice this downstairs?

20:53No, stay.

20:54I'm just gonna close my eyes.

20:58There you stood behind your glasses.

21:03In a hazy, yellow world.

21:07Alone enough for me to ask just.

21:11Alone enough to feel the heart that glow.

21:18Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

21:20The glow of star-born eyes reflect the sky

21:29Until I find I'm sinking into your

21:37Yellow, yellow haze

21:42Linkering as you pour

21:49Why'd you stop?

21:50You're exhausted.

21:51No, I like listening to you sing.

21:53I like playing for you.

21:55What do you think?

21:56You sound beautiful.

21:57How about the song?

21:59The lyrics?

22:05You hate it.

22:07No, no, I don't.

22:09At all.

22:09I really like the melody.

22:12I just...

22:13I don't get it.

22:14I mean, well, maybe I'm just tired.

22:16No, no, it's okay.

22:17I don't get it either.

22:19What exactly is a yellow haze?

22:21Justin said something about the aura of falling in love.

22:24Oh.

22:25Is it getting worse?

22:26Well, have you talked to him about it?

22:27Yeah, I thought I could fix it,

22:30but, I mean, the showcase is in two weeks,

22:32and my gut is telling me you should just start over.

22:35I just can't figure out how to tell Justin

22:37his lyrics aren't working.

22:38Well, have you tried?

22:39Hey, asshole, this isn't working.

22:41Right?

22:42No.

22:43No.

22:44I've never had a problem giving me shit.

22:45Yeah, well, this is different.

22:46This is his art.

22:48This is your art, too.

22:49And your showcase piece.

23:00Justin, her song fucking sucks,

23:03and we're gonna lose the showcase.

23:05Ooh, you got a winner here.

23:07Sounds so bad, so bad.

23:10Actually, you know what?

23:10Usually I like hearing you sing, but...

23:12Oh, Garrett hates my singing, but it's okay,

23:15because he loves me.

23:17Yeah, I do.

23:28I love you, Ossie.

23:38I love you, Ossie.

23:39I love you, too.

24:03You guys said I love you?

24:05You know, if you would have told me six months ago

24:08that I'd be hot and single,

24:10and you'd be abandoning me to go spend the night

24:12with Garrett Graham, I'd...

24:16Okay, I'm the worst.

24:18Being this happy when you're in a crisis,

24:19I'm unpacking.

24:20No, no, no, no, no.

24:22You're in love.

24:23Go be in love.

24:24No, you were texting Sean for Thanksgiving.

24:26You miss him.

24:28Actually, I was not.

24:30He's been giving me space.

24:32And that's freaking you out?

24:35Surprisingly, no.

24:36I'm enjoying the space.

24:38Well, that's great.

24:39Totally.

24:41Totally.

24:43Except if I'm enjoying the space,

24:45and that means I'm a terrible, shitty person

24:48who hurts someone she supposedly loved

24:50and then just moves on.

24:58This is about your mom.

25:02She said never give up on love.

25:05And when she got sick,

25:07my dad was there for her, you know?

25:09Like, every step of the way.

25:10Even when it got so hard.

25:13So then do I just call it quits with Sean

25:15because I'm not willing to put in the work?

25:20Did I give up on love?

25:22Of course not.

25:23If Sean's not the great love of your life,

25:25that's okay.

25:26You'll find another great love.

25:30Or, I mean, hear me out.

25:34A fling?

25:35Okay.

25:38Flings have just not been super successful

25:40for you, historically speaking.

25:41No, what are you talking about?

25:43I can fling.

25:45I can.

25:46Remember after the second Sean breakup?

25:48All those dates with frat boys

25:49who didn't believe in soap?

25:53Yeah, okay, well, maybe that was my mistake.

25:55I don't need to date someone.

25:57I just need a distraction.

26:00The fuck, buddy.

26:02Okay, you know I love you,

26:04and I think you're perfect,

26:05and I will support you no matter what.

26:08But you, Allie Hayes,

26:09are a card-carrying member.

26:11I know, I'm a team boyfriend.

26:13Team boyfriend.

26:14You like snuggling and inside jokes.

26:17You want to tell a guy about your day,

26:19meet his mom,

26:20and watch him run a 5K,

26:22and then complain about having to watch him run a 5K.

26:25It's a really stupid length for a race.

26:27Hey, look, this stuff with Sean is hard,

26:30but whether you move on

26:31or you get back together with him,

26:34bottom line is I'm here for you.

26:37I'm team Allie.

26:39Just know that and believe that.

26:41Totally ignore this giant duffel I am packing

26:45to abandon you yet again.

26:47You're not abandoning me.

26:49You're going to have super hot sex all night

26:52with a guy who loves you.

26:56But you're not taking that.

26:58It's mine.

27:05Maybe All You Can Eat was not my most romantic idea.

27:09Wellesie, saw you guys on 5th line.

27:12It's Jules.

27:13They're everywhere.

27:14Like God.

27:15We're supposed to be on a date.

27:17Oh, wow.

27:18You really splurged, G.

27:19This one was my treat.

27:20Oh, then rescinded.

27:24So, how was y'all's break?

27:27First time meeting Papa Graham, right?

27:29Yeah, it was fun.

27:34Yeah.

27:35Family.

27:36Sucks.

27:38Did you at least get that signed jersey

27:39for the Hurricanes fundraiser?

27:41That Phil Graham merch room is legit.

27:43Uh, not this year.

27:46Uh, what's the Hurricanes?

27:48It's a local youth hockey program.

27:50We do a fundraiser for them every year.

27:52Logan was a Lil Kane.

27:56Well, is that still happening?

27:57I thought the venue fell through.

27:59Yeah, they double booked.

28:00I'm trying to figure it out.

28:01Hey, we were really, uh,

28:03counting on that Phil donation.

28:05I can reach out.

28:06I'll sign a jersey and you can auction that.

28:09Okay, big shot.

28:10You're not in the pros yet.

28:11I didn't mean...

28:13I'm trying to help.

28:16Uh, what if you did it at Malone's?

28:21That's...

28:22Really?

28:22Yeah, I can run it by Della.

28:24I'm sure she'll be happy to help.

28:26What, uh, what kind of vibe were you thinking?

28:30I'll keep you my dirty little secret.

28:34Dirty little secret.

28:36Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.

28:41Just another regret.

28:43Hope that you can keep it.

28:44My dirty little secret.

28:46Dirty little secret.

28:48Dirty little secret.

29:09Dirty little secret.

29:13Dirty little secret.

29:14Dirty little secret.

29:15Dirty little secret.

29:16Dirty little secret.

29:19Dirty little secret.

29:20Doesn't get any better looking than that, and he's single ladies

29:24And we've already raised two thousand bucks for those little canes

29:27But we want to raise a hell of a lot more for those guys so get drunk hit up our

29:30silent auction and get some cool shit

29:32Sadly the photo booth is out of order, but

29:35There's still a lot of fun to be had the band is taking requests and scan those QR codes and

29:39let them know what songs you want to hear

29:41All right you guys ready

29:49I've done wrong when I've known this all along

29:56So what'd you think?

29:58For your little secret?

30:00That was mine

30:02Subtle

30:03Just reminding you in case you forgot I can't keep a secret

30:05I get that you're worried, but there's no reason we can't just keep doing what we've been doing

30:09Hooking up all over campus. Having fun

30:14Just meet me in the bathroom and let's say five minutes. You're delusional everyone we know is here

30:19And I'm not that kind of girl

30:22But you want to be

30:28Take these to your boys

30:32For the record I am not delusional

30:36I just know what I want

30:44You see how quick they are they're going to capitalize on mistakes, okay control is key Tucker

30:48You cannot let them get a step on you not a single one

30:51No, no, no, no Graham. I'm not having this put that thing away

30:56We have st. Hayes tomorrow we don't go to bars to gripe and moan about hockey we go to bars

31:00to score

31:00Okay, what the fuck is wrong with you people tell us?

31:04Thank the Lord. Bo tell them to stop talking hockey shit. Oh, no, no keep keep talking hockey shit

31:09That's why I came over here why fuck bunnies 11 o'clock

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40:28I

40:29I

40:38I

40:42I

40:43I

40:49I

40:50I

41:03I

41:04I

41:17I

41:18A lot of people got what they wanted, but

41:22not all of us

41:28So if there's any last minute requests, changes of heart, remember that the photo booth is out of order

41:46Okay, yeah, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight

41:53He's been weird tonight, right? So weird

42:13Change your mind?

42:15No, maybe

42:17Just every time we do this, I feel so

42:19Amazing

42:21Bad, I feel bad

42:23Guilty

42:23Wait, are you Kathleen?

42:25No, I'm just a girl

42:27I have to think about what everyone else feels before I can figure out what I'm feeling

42:29And I can't even do that right now

42:32Because this fucking breakup is totally messing with my head

42:36I don't even know what to think

42:37Then don't

42:37Don't think

42:40Tell me what you want

42:43Ally Cat

42:46Tell me what you want

42:49And this is not a relationship, okay? No strings, no feelings, just sex

42:54Just fucking kiss me

43:06Meet a man in an hour

43:26This is a party

43:28Parties are supposed to be fun

43:31Are you having fun?

43:32Not really

43:33You?

43:34Yeah, not really

43:36Justin and I broke up

43:37Oh, not words I was expecting to hear from my girlfriend about another guy

43:41I have two weeks to write another song

43:44There's plenty of time

43:46You and Logan gonna be okay?

43:49We'll be fine

43:51Yesterday when he asked about your dad

43:53Could have been an opening

43:54To tell him

43:57Tell him what?

43:59About Thanksgiving

44:00What you told me

44:02Phil's a dick

44:04Logan knows that, everybody does

44:06That's all they have to know

44:07Ew, what happens when Phil shows up to a game?

44:10When I win, he nods

44:12And when I lose, he says nothing

44:15He won't be that hard to ignore

44:17I think you should tell someone

44:20Jensen, Logan

44:22They care about you

44:23I don't need them to know

44:26I mean, that's why I have you

44:29I trust you

44:36You wanna go home?

44:37I wish

44:38Told Della I'd oversee clean up

44:39And I really should get started on the song

44:43Okay, you go

44:44I'm gonna stay at my place tonight

44:46You sure?

44:47Yeah, you get some sleep

44:48For the game tomorrow

44:50Big scary game against big scary St. A's

44:53You scared the shit out of them, you know

44:56Look how hard they're trying to please you

44:57Oh, they're not trying to please me

44:59They're trying to win

45:01Which you will

45:02See you tomorrow, okay?

45:04Be in the stands with the sign that says

45:05Might be kinda hard to spot you

45:08There are a lot of those signs

45:10I hate you

45:11I love you too

45:15See you tomorrow

45:16Yeah, alright

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