- 15 hours ago
Short Film She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:04Please save my child.
00:00:21Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:30Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:41Rejuvening.
00:00:49Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:53No, please! Don't call me that.
00:00:57I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:03Here you go, miss.
00:01:07Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:11in need?
00:01:24You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:29run!
00:01:32Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:42Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:45And...
00:01:47Rejuvening.
00:01:52See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:57Come on, Cleo! Let's go!
00:02:03Woah!
00:02:05Woo!
00:02:07Woah!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:13Hey, hey, hey!
00:02:14Don't you miss him?
00:02:15Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:19We have no idea what the illness is.
00:02:21If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:24The Elizander Armstrong.
00:02:26His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:02:30He's so hot.
00:02:32Does he come with the money?
00:02:33Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:36Money, fame, power. It's all yours.
00:02:44Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:46Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:50Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:54Grandma!
00:02:54I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:02:58Grandma?
00:03:00Grandma.
00:03:01When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:05I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:07And Butch is still on deployment.
00:03:09So, that's why I haven't been married yet?
00:03:14Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:21We're talking about my brother's life.
00:03:22I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:25No!
00:03:34Please go feed your dog, Miss.
00:03:36Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:37Oh, kind stranger.
00:03:39Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:42Grant me a wish?
00:03:43That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:45The downfall of humanity.
00:03:46It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:49What?
00:03:50Oh, Jesus.
00:03:51This has given me a migraine.
00:03:53Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:56I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:03:59Okay.
00:04:00Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:04Can you do that?
00:04:05I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:09Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:12Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:16Hold still.
00:04:23What?
00:04:24My migraine's gone.
00:04:26Okay, then let's go.
00:04:27If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:30Come on.
00:04:31Come on.
00:04:31Oh!
00:04:45How is he?
00:04:46What is the diagnosis?
00:04:48Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:51I'm sorry.
00:04:52I don't know what this is.
00:04:53Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:55You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:57Don't worry, General.
00:04:58I'm the Angel Herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:03I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:24I have no clue what this is.
00:05:28Oh, it looks like the Angel Herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:33That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:35Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:37I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:50He's not budging.
00:05:51There's no movement.
00:05:52Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:05:59Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:06:02They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
00:06:04If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:10Who?
00:06:14The goddess of healing.
00:06:17Wait a second.
00:06:19You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:21That's correct.
00:06:23Her right rewrites the rond, and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:28That's her motto.
00:06:29It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:32We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:34She is eccentric and elusive.
00:06:38No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:39If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son,
00:06:44I don't care if I go bankrupt.
00:06:46I will find her.
00:06:47James, come.
00:06:49Put out a bounty.
00:06:51To the entire world.
00:06:52Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:57There's no need.
00:07:12I'll save your son.
00:07:15Who the hell is she?
00:07:16Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:18She's going to save your brother?
00:07:20Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:21How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:25Exactly.
00:07:26Holy God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:29She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:32Ew!
00:07:33She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:36I bet it has fleas.
00:07:38That flea-infested, dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:42Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:49Don't touch him.
00:07:52They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:57So step aside.
00:07:59I'll take it from here.
00:08:01Could you hold this?
00:08:01Oh, you're not going to touch my son.
00:08:05I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:09I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:12I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:18Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:22A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:28Ew!
00:08:30Disgusting.
00:08:31Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:33Security!
00:08:34Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:37Let's go.
00:08:38If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:45Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander into no avail.
00:08:50Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:53You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:56All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:08:58But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:05Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:08You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:10And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:13But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:18Devin, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:21No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:22My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:24I can't lose him.
00:09:27Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:32My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:37Also, he's great with puppies.
00:09:38He'd make a great husband.
00:09:42Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:44As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:50Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:53I mean, look at her.
00:09:54Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:00Only those cuts in the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:04Continue wasting your time.
00:10:05But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:17Oh, okay.
00:10:20What's happening?
00:10:22What are we doing?
00:10:33What the hell are you doing?
00:10:37I knew she was a perv!
00:10:39She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:42Do you all not know that Sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:45Are you insane?
00:10:47Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:51He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:10:58Yeah, right.
00:10:59I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:11:02Oh, okay.
00:11:03I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:05I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:09And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:16But this is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:26What?
00:11:27What?
00:11:28So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, the rod of a sepulius?
00:11:34Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:39I agree. I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point as of doctors who
00:11:45have studied for years?
00:11:47We are all certified.
00:11:49But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:52She's right about everything.
00:11:56Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:01And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
00:12:05Endogenic cryomorphy.
00:12:06Oh.
00:12:07And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:09Because I just discovered it.
00:12:11This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:15The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:17A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:20But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:25What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:26I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:31Precisely.
00:12:32You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:34You don't compare to me, us, who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:39I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:43Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:47And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases, which mean nothing, if you can't
00:12:54wake him up.
00:12:55Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:57Oh my God.
00:12:59If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up, I think you all should grow parts of your brain
00:13:05back.
00:13:05Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:09What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:11It means you're being schooled by me.
00:13:13And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:17Then let's have a bet.
00:13:19If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:13:24And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:30These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:35You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:38Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:41There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:45Don't worry. I got this.
00:13:50It's a deal.
00:13:51I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:54No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:02Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:09Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:12Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:25I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:28I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:31I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:36Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:39Wait, wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:14:41Don't listen to her.
00:14:43She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:48Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:51Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:14:59What? Did you just call me?
00:15:03There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:08Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:12Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:18Oh yeah?
00:15:19Hey, you want to see real pain? Where's the dog?
00:15:21Well, put down the dog!
00:15:23With pleasure.
00:15:33Oh!
00:15:39Left leaves the wrong breath.
00:15:46You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:51She's been poisoned!
00:15:54It was her!
00:15:55Do you see any poison on me?
00:15:58Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:04This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:07Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:09Of course.
00:16:11I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:14If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:34Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:35This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:37I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way.
00:16:40Angel herbalist.
00:16:41This is what I call...
00:16:43Malpractice.
00:16:45This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:16:48But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:50Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:52Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:53Right this way.
00:16:55Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:56What the hell is going on?
00:16:57You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:02Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:03Every second counts.
00:17:06Let's go for a dip, shall we?
00:17:12General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:17Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:21Hold on.
00:17:22You two are going in there alone?
00:17:25If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure.
00:17:29Invite everyone in.
00:17:31All right.
00:17:32But I warn you.
00:17:34No funny business.
00:17:36Hmm.
00:17:39No funny business.
00:18:13No funny business.
00:18:36you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman
00:18:40general armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him
00:18:44she could blackmail you for millions that's what i would do if i was that poor and then the
00:18:51armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation held for ransom by a homeless woman
00:18:57dad you can't seriously be listening to that we have to have faith where did you actually find
00:19:03this little light uh on the streets are you shitting me you found this bum on the streets
00:19:12are you nuts you don't know her you don't know her background she could be a psychotic murder
00:19:17that is it general you have to go in and stop this now you're right that's it i'm shutting
00:19:22down this clown show right now james let's go yes sir oh my god
00:19:36i told you all to stay out
00:19:43this is a critical moment for you we can't be interrupted otherwise we'd both die
00:19:52i'm not gonna let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son
00:19:58i'm gonna save him myself
00:20:04you see that general this isn't just a gull-dicking con woman this is a witchcraft
00:20:11i know what this is this is the dark witch i've heard of her she uses her dark magic to
00:20:19steal the
00:20:19hearts of young handsome men and she eats them alive oh i'm gonna kill that bitch before she takes
00:20:25my son james get the swat team yes sir
00:20:32you regain consciousness
00:20:44help me i just want
00:20:50something's wrong
00:20:54you were drunk with an aphrodisiac
00:20:57lysander armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
00:21:02that's one more thing i'm saving you from
00:21:11sir
00:21:12the swat team is here
00:21:14captain morales
00:21:17my son is trapped behind there with a devious man-eating witch i need you to do whatever you
00:21:23can to tear down that door rest assured general armstrong we'll break down that door and bury that
00:21:29bitch alive
00:21:34right
00:21:35rewrite the world
00:21:44who the fuck are you and why the hell are we
00:21:49good you're awake
00:21:51i'm saving you
00:21:52saving me
00:21:54by bathing with me
00:21:56who are you a fucking spy
00:21:59top i swear to god i'll have you arrested for this
00:22:03you're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stupper
00:22:08i will never
00:22:09oh really
00:22:23look who's guilty now
00:22:27look i don't know what the fuck this is
00:22:29all right but it is a biological fact
00:22:31a man
00:22:32is attracted
00:22:33to
00:22:34a naked woman
00:22:35and her breasts
00:22:37science okay it just means that my body
00:22:39oh shut up
00:22:40is physically
00:22:43you're distracted me with your funny
00:22:45and i'm a professional
00:22:46i hear lysander's voice
00:22:48captain do something now
00:22:50ready
00:22:56we're almost there
00:22:58aim
00:23:01get him boys
00:23:02get him
00:23:04fire
00:23:08fire
00:23:23those
00:23:24demons
00:23:24how is this possible
00:23:26it's not even a scratch
00:23:28i told you this is dark magic
00:23:31of course your earthly bullets won't do a thing
00:23:33no i believe miss trixie is a good person
00:23:36she's not the dark witch
00:23:38young master armstrong you are too easily fooled
00:23:42this homeless psycho
00:23:44doesn't even have the skills to make a living
00:23:46how is she going to save someone else's life
00:23:48that's right
00:23:49the queen angel and i are already the top female doctors in the world
00:23:53if we can't save him
00:23:55no one can
00:23:56except for the goddess healer
00:23:57think about it
00:23:58we heard lysander's voice
00:24:00he's been in a coma for two years miss trixie must have woken him up
00:24:03you're right
00:24:04this homeless girl is maybe
00:24:07the goddess
00:24:10maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess
00:24:13no no
00:24:14absolutely not
00:24:15there is no way this hobo girl is better than us
00:24:19how could you know for sure
00:24:20right now what we need to do is not interrupt miss trixie
00:24:24you're wrong sir
00:24:25this homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on master lysander
00:24:29it's called borderline revival
00:24:32she uses torturous pain to wake the patient
00:24:35but only temporarily
00:24:37it's a trick
00:24:38to pull the wool over your eyes and ears
00:24:41that means my son is in tremendous pain
00:24:44i'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can
00:24:47to kill that antler rod bearing witch
00:24:50my son doesn't deserve this
00:24:52he is dying right now
00:24:53naked in a jacuzzi
00:24:55with a smelly vagrant
00:24:56then it looks like it's up to me
00:24:58the witch doctor
00:25:00only i know the right techniques to take her down
00:25:04my son's life is in your hands
00:25:07you heal him
00:25:08i will give you whatever your heart desires
00:25:11i don't know who you are
00:25:13but there is no way i am letting you rip my golden bachelor away from me
00:25:19this is it
00:25:20the finishing touch
00:25:23i must now give you the kiss of life
00:25:25so we can both survive
00:25:45it's poison gas
00:25:48poison gas will smoke them out
00:25:50and end her torture over master lysander
00:25:52poison gas
00:25:54my son is in there
00:25:56you're jeopardizing his life as well
00:25:58no don't worry general
00:25:59gold diggers like her only care about themselves
00:26:03soon
00:26:03she'll come out crying to mommy
00:26:05then we can reverse the poison on your son
00:26:08and then he can marry one of us
00:26:11they really won't stop until they get both of us killed
00:26:16i made a promise to you that i'd save you
00:26:19it's now or never
00:26:33what the hell are they doing in there
00:26:35it's been over 10 minutes
00:26:36wait a second
00:26:38you don't think that they're
00:26:40you
00:26:41you suffocated my brother and miss trixie in there
00:26:43don't point your fingers at me
00:26:45if your brother's dead
00:26:46it's because of that homeless gold digger
00:26:49oh my god
00:26:49yeah
00:26:49she's the one who sealed the door shut
00:26:52i mean she probably locked themselves in there on accident
00:26:55miss trixie wouldn't have to do that
00:26:57if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother
00:27:00this is taking way too long
00:27:03captain morales
00:27:04it's time to get out
00:27:05the big guns
00:27:07these bazookas
00:27:08can flatten even a bomb shelter
00:27:10bazooka
00:27:11she won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself
00:27:14crap oh my god
00:27:15get back son
00:27:17ready
00:27:19aim
00:27:20oh shit
00:27:25quit your whining and stand down
00:27:40the parasite's been extracted
00:27:41shoot her dead now
00:27:42do i need to fix your hearing too
00:27:45i said stand down
00:27:48don't listen to her
00:27:49she's a fraud
00:27:50a termite to the field of medicine
00:27:52i just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care
00:27:56if i'm a termite then
00:27:58you're worse than a disease spreading tick
00:28:01wait a second
00:28:02are you saying you cured my son
00:28:04he'll wake in just a moment
00:28:05you can see for yourself
00:28:07well now you're just asking to be exposed
00:28:10that is it
00:28:11no more stalling general
00:28:13if you won't punish her
00:28:14i will
00:28:19don't hurt her
00:28:25he's a cure
00:28:32his pulse is regular
00:28:33in fact it's never been better
00:28:38there's no sign of illness infection or disease
00:28:49miss trixie did it dad
00:28:51lysander's warm again
00:28:52he's not cold and pale like before
00:28:54and his heart is strong
00:28:56come feel it
00:28:59i saved my son
00:29:00thank you
00:29:01next time don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will
00:29:05your son would have otherwise died
00:29:07by their greedy and unskilled hands
00:29:09i've learned my lesson
00:29:11i will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again
00:29:16wait wait no no there is only one person in the world
00:29:20who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen angel and i
00:29:26the goddess healer
00:29:31could you really be the goddess of healing
00:29:34but rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old
00:29:38and you don't look a day after 20
00:29:41it doesn't matter who i am
00:29:43what matters is that the patient is healthy again
00:29:45devon i've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother
00:29:49take care
00:29:50no wait
00:29:52miss trixie we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet
00:29:55he's right
00:29:56we are men of our words
00:29:58and as i promised you my heir lysander would take you as a wife if you cured him
00:30:02and you did just that
00:30:03of course you're welcome to marry me instead
00:30:06i really appreciate it but i'm sorry i
00:30:13i'm already engaged
00:30:17already engaged
00:30:18i am
00:30:19i've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years
00:30:23and he's coming back today
00:30:25but don't be disappointed
00:30:27really i'm no one special
00:30:29i just got lucky with your brother
00:30:31some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments
00:30:34but you're still lysander's savior
00:30:36please let me give you what i promised
00:30:38take the gold
00:30:39no really
00:30:42i don't need anything
00:30:44i just believe in doing good in the world
00:30:49trixie
00:30:50it's your fiance
00:30:51he's back
00:30:52and he says he's breaking up with you
00:30:56i must go
00:31:04hobo close
00:31:05halo glow
00:31:06i bet the goddess healer is just like miss trixie
00:31:10it was just dumb luck
00:31:12she's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal
00:31:15she could have been the richest woman in the world
00:31:17marrying the hottest most powerful bachelor around
00:31:23i'm gonna marry that homeless woman
00:31:30oh my god
00:31:31i mean i don't know about that homeless bimbo but this is godly
00:31:37no no no no my standard
00:31:39my standard office job is supposed to be mine
00:31:43i'd so much rather share them with you than let that penniless ugly bitch have them
00:31:48you two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession
00:31:51take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses
00:31:54wait no
00:31:55we're not we're high
00:31:57no she's just better than us
00:32:00oh my god
00:32:04we were truly blessed to have miss trixie here huh
00:32:07she's no average jane
00:32:08no she isn't
00:32:09she said it was just dumb luck
00:32:11but if she truly had these special skills
00:32:13why did she wear that shit stained dress and had an impeccable looking doll
00:32:17but think about the impenetrable walls
00:32:19no normal person could have done that
00:32:21goddess or not
00:32:23homeless or not i don't care
00:32:25i have never met a woman like that
00:32:26i have to find her i have to make her my life
00:32:29she won my heart over too
00:32:30but if my bestest big bro wants her
00:32:33i'll help you find her
00:32:34all right listen
00:32:36i need help finding three wedding gifts
00:32:43i'm dumping trixie
00:32:44so i want you
00:32:45your granddaughters
00:32:47filthy things
00:32:48out of my house
00:32:50now
00:32:51trixie paid for this house
00:32:53she waited for you
00:32:54for three years
00:32:56she was dumb enough to put my name on the lease
00:32:58and i'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now
00:33:00one with some serious
00:33:01fuck you money
00:33:03so get lost
00:33:05who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house
00:33:14grandma
00:33:15beatrice
00:33:16trixie
00:33:17amori
00:33:18i've been dying to throw this in your face
00:33:21i'm dumping you
00:33:22for your best friend
00:33:23marissa
00:33:25in fact
00:33:26the wedding's tomorrow
00:33:28so sign over the house
00:33:29now
00:33:35you gave me this ring and asked me to wait
00:33:38and i did
00:33:40for three years while you were deployed
00:33:42yet you cheat on me with my best friend
00:33:44and now you're trying to swindle my home
00:33:48do you have no shame
00:33:49we were together for three years
00:33:51and uh
00:33:52it was a complete waste of my life
00:33:53when i could have been with a loaded girl like marissa
00:34:01that's how much she would owe me
00:34:03if i was in the rent-the-boyfriend business
00:34:07i see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute
00:34:15oh yeah
00:34:16well marissa
00:34:19is so much better than you
00:34:21she grew up even poorer than you
00:34:24and now
00:34:25she's the ceo of an entire corporation
00:34:31and you
00:34:33you're still nothing
00:34:35so you think she's an upgrade
00:34:37of course she's an upgrade
00:34:39look what she uh got me for my engagement
00:34:43oops
00:34:44yeah
00:34:45that's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract i gave her
00:34:55you gave her the presidential contract
00:34:57i certainly did
00:34:58in fact
00:35:00marissa
00:35:01you and your dimwit brother
00:35:03only have everything you have all thanks to me
00:35:11oh i think she's losing it bro
00:35:13that breakup must have hit her hard
00:35:15you two
00:35:16are the ungrateful cheating scum here
00:35:19my granddaughter
00:35:20supported you
00:35:22and your entire family
00:35:24for three years while you were gone
00:35:26how dare you insult her
00:35:29it's okay grandma
00:35:30let's not stoop to that level
00:35:33poor edna
00:35:34she still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets huh
00:35:36what is he talking about joseph
00:35:39show her bob
00:35:45this is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is
00:35:48she didn't purchase this house on her own
00:35:50she was begging on the street for money
00:35:54i can't be caught with a piss poor nobody like you
00:35:57even if you got no game
00:35:59i got street crit i got out of keep
00:36:01you dig
00:36:01the word you're looking for is dignity
00:36:04and you're one to speak
00:36:06cheater
00:36:08is this true tricksy
00:36:13i've been broadening my horizons grandma
00:36:15i want to see how regular everyday people live
00:36:18so that i can help them
00:36:20of course
00:36:21those without substance underneath would never understand that
00:36:25what is that supposed to mean
00:36:26it means
00:36:27the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade
00:36:30is actually a downgrade
00:36:35enough bullshitting already
00:36:36just sign the damn papers
00:36:38and we can each get on with our lives
00:36:52at your wedding i will
00:36:53what
00:36:55if you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend
00:37:00why should i do good by you
00:37:02i'll give you my john hancock at your wedding
00:37:05as
00:37:06my charity
00:37:07to you
00:37:08fucking bitch
00:37:09you better keep your word
00:37:11oh that's rich
00:37:13after tomorrow you will never feel so rich ever again
00:37:15do you remember that
00:37:24tricksy
00:37:25marissa's a millionaire now
00:37:26they'll destroy you if you show
00:37:29even so much as a hair at their wedding
00:37:31grandma
00:37:32i have to confess something to you
00:37:34i've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions
00:37:37trillions
00:37:41that would make you
00:37:42the richest person
00:37:44on the planet
00:37:45it's because of the healing hands i inherited from aseplius
00:37:48the god of healing
00:37:50i've saved several world leaders with these hands
00:37:53that's how i was able to give marissa the presidential contract
00:37:57and become the goddess healer
00:37:59it makes me angrier
00:38:01hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you
00:38:03but please tricksy dear
00:38:05i know it must have broken your heart
00:38:08but
00:38:10embellishing your worth and who you are
00:38:12it will only delay the healing process
00:38:15you don't have to believe me just yet
00:38:17after we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills
00:38:23i vowed that i would do everything i can to serve those in need
00:38:27that's why i'm taking everything back from butch and i'm giving it back to charity
00:38:30you've always had an angel's heart
00:38:33i'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right
00:38:37who actually deserves you
00:38:39you will see tomorrow grandma
00:38:43oh yeah
00:38:49you said tricksy's crashing your wedding
00:38:51she was bullying us too sasa
00:38:54she's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck
00:38:58when hope when nobody steps on snake
00:39:00snake bites back hard
00:39:02so let her come and embarrass herself
00:39:05yeah
00:39:05you mean
00:39:08we broadcast
00:39:10that video
00:39:11yes
00:39:14her cavewoman stick the 19th century tin can
00:39:18she'll prop me up higher on my pedestal
00:39:20and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:22against my presidential glow up
00:39:24let's turn this party into her funeral
00:39:33there he is
00:39:36welcome home brother
00:39:38welcome home general
00:39:42sir
00:39:43it's the homeless woman who saved you miss trixie
00:39:45this is the file of her ex butch tanner
00:39:47he served with your regiment in the marines
00:39:49you mean the butch tanner that can barely carry supplies
00:39:52well she's been providing for him and his entire family
00:39:54while he's been deployed overseas sir
00:39:56so she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her
00:39:59fucking coward
00:40:00according to intel she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding
00:40:03then we should join her
00:40:05men
00:40:06i'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman
00:40:09and her incredible power
00:40:10that saved my life
00:40:11so she needs our support
00:40:12will you join me in protecting her
00:40:14yes sir
00:40:15we will learn our lives to protect her
00:40:17sir
00:40:18let's roll
00:40:34welcome everyone to my wedding
00:40:37today is a very special day for me and butch
00:40:39not only are we getting married
00:40:40but in just one hour my company will be receiving the presidential contract
00:40:44allowing my biomedical company to go public
00:40:50congratulations on the contract once again mrs.
00:40:53wait who
00:40:54wait who stowe butch is taking my last name
00:40:56oh and please don't be so uptight secretary cho
00:41:00you are the secretary of the entire u.s. health department but this is a par-tay after all
00:41:05i see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate
00:41:10you
00:41:11the u.s. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself
00:41:17it's an honor
00:41:18and that's why sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of
00:41:23we will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight
00:41:26we'll let the wedding begin
00:41:30not so fast
00:41:31the party doesn't start until i say it does
00:41:56you two really are a match made in hell
00:41:58so i've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck
00:42:02i don't recognize it from any of our elite circles
00:42:05who is she
00:42:05uh this is our entertainment for tonight sir
00:42:09just watch
00:42:13tricksy what are you doing here
00:42:14this isn't the homeless shelter you lost
00:42:16i bet she's here to bum a meal off us
00:42:18you know being this poor
00:42:22me
00:42:22but my meal
00:42:24have you forgotten that it was i who bankrolled you two for the last three years
00:42:27and what evidence do you have of that
00:42:30look at me then go look at yourself in the mirror
00:42:32i'm a millionaire ceo
00:42:34even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me
00:42:39and you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat
00:42:42sasa
00:42:42she's like so obsessed with me
00:42:44she's like
00:42:46see everyone
00:42:47but
00:42:48already cut ties with his ex
00:42:50but she's so shameless
00:42:51and desperate that she'd still show up to my wedding
00:42:54to suck up to me
00:42:55this is what poor sad girls do
00:42:58they beg
00:42:59for scraps
00:43:00from
00:43:00us
00:43:01the rich and glorious
00:43:02projecting much marissa
00:43:04you might feel all high and mighty now but don't bite the hand that feeds you
00:43:09especially when i'm the one who's giving you the contract
00:43:16you
00:43:17giving me the contract
00:43:19you have no skills
00:43:21no education
00:43:22no connection
00:43:23so how could you possibly have a pool
00:43:25to get the u.s. fucking president
00:43:27to give me a billion dollar contract
00:43:30we both share humble beginnings marissa
00:43:32and i saw potential in you
00:43:34even trusted you as my best friend
00:43:36but i recognize now that greed has poisoned you
00:43:39don't be all sore now just because i stole your man
00:43:42this is what us rich girls do
00:43:45they steal from lame spinsters for fun
00:43:48damn right
00:43:49you were
00:43:50too embarrassing
00:43:52for me
00:43:52sasa tramples you any day
00:43:54i can say that now that i'm marrying the rich
00:43:58bravo
00:43:58self-admission of a gold digger
00:44:00quick
00:44:01somebody put that on a memoir
00:44:02sasa
00:44:03she's embarrassing me in front of everyone
00:44:04you should make her stop
00:44:05don't listen to her everyone
00:44:07she's the gold digging blood sucking leech
00:44:10i don't even have to lift a finger
00:44:12and you're already embarrassing yourself
00:44:13in front of everyone for me butch
00:44:17you may look and sound like a man
00:44:18but you're nothing but a pathetic coward
00:44:21okay enough
00:44:22you know what i always couldn't stand about you
00:44:24your moral posturing
00:44:26but guess what
00:44:27morals are just lies to make you lame girls
00:44:30feel better about yourselves
00:44:31that's why no man will choose you
00:44:33over marissa trixie
00:44:35because i've got the material goods
00:44:37and you're just all empty talk
00:44:39i'm not here to request to be chosen
00:44:41because i'm the one who's doing the choosing
00:44:45see this
00:44:57oh my god
00:44:59is that the billion dollar contract for sasa?
00:45:04the one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:06no absolutely not
00:45:08i don't believe it
00:45:10you all sound so scared already
00:45:12don't worry
00:45:12this isn't that contract
00:45:15it's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me
00:45:21see everyone
00:45:22she's just trying to bluff us
00:45:24but you don't even have the guts to go all the way
00:45:26look at her following orders
00:45:27i asked her to sign over the lease and here she is
00:45:30like a good little uh peasant slave
00:45:33that house is worth all her life savings
00:45:38you want to uh i don't know beg for a little treat while you're at it
00:45:52you must understand me
00:45:54i'm here to take back everything i've ever given you
00:45:57i'm giving it to charity
00:46:05bro
00:46:06she's gone cuckoo in the head
00:46:08she thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress
00:46:10she can pretend to be a deep pocket investment baddie
00:46:13you wish you had that kind of money to just toss away trixie
00:46:16it's just a drop in the bucket for me
00:46:18uh i i know what this is
00:46:21you've gotten delusional
00:46:22and you think you're cinderella
00:46:23so you can just show up to a fancy party
00:46:25and some prince charming will scoop you into money forever
00:46:28well that's not happening
00:46:30security lock the doors
00:46:32this woman doesn't leave until we're through with her
00:46:37this is where your dreams will die bitch
00:46:43we found miss trixie lysander
00:46:44she's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the wickham wedding right now
00:46:47butch tanner
00:46:49well he's gonna wish he died in battle after i'm done with him
00:46:52let's go
00:46:57you think a few toy guns scare me marissa
00:46:59i've saved plenty of people for much worse
00:47:03including your head of command butch
00:47:06general lysander armstrong
00:47:08you mean the legendary war hero
00:47:10he's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack
00:47:14you're an unskilled
00:47:15unemployed
00:47:16ugly leech
00:47:18so how could you possibly have this magical ability
00:47:21to heal someone like general lysander armstrong
00:47:24no one here is gonna believe you
00:47:25if you really cured the incurable general
00:47:27then sasa is the fucking virgin mary
00:47:30and she's not
00:47:31you're just asking to be humiliated trixie
00:47:34show them butch
00:47:41see for yourselves everyone
00:47:43trixie's just a
00:47:45freeloading beggar
00:47:49she won't leave me and marissa alone
00:47:51because
00:47:51we're rich as fuck now
00:47:53i'm a major in the marines
00:47:55sasa
00:47:56she has
00:47:57a billion dollar biomedical contract
00:47:59with the military
00:48:01approved by the first female president of the united states herself bitch
00:48:06how despicable
00:48:07she's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger
00:48:11get out of here no one wants to marry you
00:48:13no free meals for the poor
00:48:15do you see this trixie
00:48:17this is high society
00:48:19so you're either born on a silver spoon
00:48:21or you're as accomplished as me to be here
00:48:24maybe if you do some serious dick sucking here
00:48:27maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can
00:48:33i already have everything one can dream of
00:48:35but i valued our friendship marissa
00:48:37which is why i came here to give you a second chance
00:48:40to see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing
00:48:43but no
00:48:44you stooped so low
00:48:46it disgusts me
00:48:47nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners
00:48:51like a bum
00:48:52and who knows
00:48:53if you've already started offering sexual services
00:48:57well then
00:48:59why don't you get on your knees for me trixie
00:49:01my brother will never take you back
00:49:04no man will marry an embarrassment like you
00:49:07but make me happy
00:49:08and i might consider making you my personal prostitute
00:49:23how dare you hit my brother
00:49:25i'm never letting you leave here alive
00:49:30don't worry my dear
00:49:31after i'm done with you trixie
00:49:33not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you
00:49:37oh
00:49:38is that so
00:49:40security
00:49:42get down on your knees
00:49:44and give bob
00:49:45one hell of a blowjob
00:49:46in front of everybody here
00:49:48or i'll pop so many holes in you
00:49:50the men here won't know which one to fuck
00:49:52i don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you
00:49:55any of the powerful leaders i've saved before
00:49:57could crush you
00:49:58before you even touch me
00:50:00dream on
00:50:02you wish general lysander scooped you off your feet
00:50:05but you weren't good enough for me
00:50:06you're definitely not good enough for him
00:50:08enough you're souring my party so you either get the fuck out
00:50:14or i'm gonna shoot you
00:50:16on the count of three
00:50:17i think i quite like it here
00:50:19two
00:50:32this wine is so delicious
00:50:34one
00:50:35shoot
00:50:38nobody is laying a hand on my future wife
00:50:59who the hell is this
00:51:04i'm sorry that i'm late
00:51:05did they hurt you
00:51:07no i'm fine
00:51:09but um
00:51:10when did i become your future wife
00:51:14you saved me
00:51:15trixie remember
00:51:16i'm a man of my word
00:51:18they're never gonna hurt you ever again
00:51:20really it was nothing
00:51:22i saved you because you're a good man
00:51:25not because i want you to owe me any favors
00:51:33i see what this is
00:51:34you're the one who cheated on me trixie
00:51:36look at you guys all lovey dove
00:51:38don't try to pin this on her
00:51:40she waited for you for three years
00:51:41this is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for
00:51:46virtue
00:51:48don't make me laugh
00:51:50she's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash
00:51:52no man who in a hundred foot pole would want to touch her
00:51:56she should be happy bob was willing to give her some
00:52:03i see her in the marines
00:52:06i'm a major
00:52:07you know
00:52:08look man
00:52:09i know trixie is like a i don't know
00:52:11like a seven
00:52:12now that she's all cleaned up
00:52:14but don't waste your manhood on a whiny worthless woman like that
00:52:18ow
00:52:20ow
00:52:20ow
00:52:23a real man
00:52:25never talks about a woman that way
00:52:28you're a coward
00:52:38we don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them
00:52:42you're very gracious trixie you know that
00:52:47you're only getting off with it because she's so kind
00:52:49so you're going to do me the favor of never coming near her again you understand
00:52:52you want to fuck with me you little dipshit
00:52:54i'm a fucking major
00:52:56you're probably lowest rank of the military grunts i'll destroy you
00:53:00do you really not know who this is butch i thought you were in the marines
00:53:05what have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is
00:53:09he was just a supply boy
00:53:13war hero
00:53:15is this all part of your plan trixie
00:53:17poor girl
00:53:19did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself
00:53:23a woman's worth is tied to the man she marries
00:53:26trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy
00:53:32a bum girl and a pimp
00:53:34what a pair
00:53:36seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long
00:53:40we should try to play some of some more don't you think
00:53:44bring in the wedding gifts
00:53:53what is all this
00:53:55trixie listen i know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life
00:53:59but i know that we shared a moment
00:54:04i'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear
00:54:08it's not in my nature
00:54:10i'm like somebody else here
00:54:12listen trixie i have never met a woman like you
00:54:19so incredible and kind and beautiful
00:54:22so i know that you're the one for me
00:54:27this guy's either nuts or a really really good actor
00:54:32Oscar worthy
00:54:33Oscar worthy
00:54:34no
00:54:35first gift
00:54:41trixie i know that you just lost your home so i'm gifting you with your own new mansion
00:54:47worth 500 million dollars
00:54:49previously owned by jennifer aniston
00:54:53second guess
00:54:57this contains all the rights to my entire fortune
00:55:00which is now yours
00:55:02entire fortune from a cowboy actor
00:55:05it must be pennies
00:55:06they already spent their entire life savings on this clown show
00:55:09they've got nothing left
00:55:10why sander
00:55:11i really don't care for any of us
00:55:13look i i know
00:55:15i know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman
00:55:18okay
00:55:19which is exactly why
00:55:20well my third gift
00:55:22is um
00:55:24well
00:55:39clio
00:55:40hey
00:55:41oh my god
00:55:43you found my dog
00:55:50trixia i'm just a man
00:55:51but with you it's so much more
00:55:54trixia more
00:55:58will you marry me
00:56:01you know i can't say no to this doggo
00:56:07yes
00:56:08i will marry you
00:56:25go go power couple
00:56:27whoo ha ha
00:56:29okay stop
00:56:30the only power couple here is butch and i
00:56:35let's remind everyone how worth his trixia is
00:56:39no man in their right mind
00:56:42would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:56:44hey
00:56:45i don't care if she's homeless or not
00:56:46but i'm making this woman my wife
00:56:49which means that she will be treated as
00:56:51and cherished as
00:56:52the most precious woman on earth
00:56:54understand
00:56:58you still don't realize
00:57:00that my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:57:03this is general
00:57:04lysander armstrong
00:57:13as if
00:57:14like the almighty general lysander armstrong
00:57:17would propose to a homeless prostitute like trixie
00:57:20yes the armstrong family basically control the global stock market
00:57:24lysander armstrong would sooner marry the princess of england than
00:57:27someone from the lowest rank of society
00:57:29i bet my life you're all just
00:57:32actors
00:57:33then you better enjoy your last breath
00:57:35come on lysander what are we waiting for
00:57:36let's show them what we can do and get revenge for trixie
00:57:38what can a bunch of piss poor people do to us
00:57:41the elites
00:57:42infect us with your poor people bad luck
00:57:44she wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:57:48truth is she's just a useless
00:57:50lazy bitchin bum
00:57:51she's utterly unmarriable
00:57:56i can dispose of them
00:57:58in other means if you don't prefer violence
00:58:00i'd handle them myself but
00:58:05i'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:58:07go ahead lysander
00:58:15yes hello this is lysander
00:58:16please bankrupt marissa wickham for me
00:58:20oh my gosh i'm so scared
00:58:22anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:58:33uh hello
00:58:35yes
00:58:37what
00:58:42i'm going bankrupt
00:58:52hey hey hey
00:58:53are you sure that was the call sasu
00:58:55that that was a real call
00:58:57people don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:58:59my company's dead
00:59:01evaporated
00:59:01it's a thin air
00:59:06that's impossible
00:59:08who are you
00:59:09what did you do
00:59:10secretary cho
00:59:12you said you're the secretary of health right
00:59:14and you yourself said that the armstrong family owns the entire global stock market
00:59:18could that be how they bankrupted miss wickham
00:59:21then that means
00:59:24you're
00:59:25really lysander armstrong
00:59:27the richest
00:59:28and most powerful man
00:59:30in the country
00:59:31trick sees mary
00:59:32the famed war hero
00:59:34the man every girl wants
00:59:36and every man wants to be
00:59:39now you believe me
00:59:40those who do bad
00:59:41will always end up losing everything
00:59:43there's got to be some trick to this
00:59:46you guys are just bums
00:59:47trying to extort money from us
00:59:49it's awesome
00:59:58i know why you're all over tricksy
01:00:00because you've been in the military for so long
01:00:02you don't know what a real woman can do for you
01:00:05let me take you to my wedding chamber
01:00:07and i'll show you a good time
01:00:10do you have your hands for me
01:00:12or i'll have them removed for you
01:00:14i would never be interested in a woman
01:00:20who's as vile and cruel and wicked
01:00:23as you are
01:00:24guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:29sasa was just trying to save the company
01:00:32i don't blame her at all
01:00:33your double standards are incredible
01:00:35okay you don't want me
01:00:37fine
01:00:37but there's plenty of other efficiency
01:00:39i can give you a room full of pageant winners
01:00:4218 years old
01:00:43fresh for the taking
01:00:52i did that so you wouldn't have to
01:00:53miss trixie
01:00:54thank you devon
01:00:57marissa
01:00:58not only have you backstabbed me
01:01:00your best friend
01:01:02by stealing my fiance
01:01:03but now you'd sell out other innocent girls
01:01:06just to get your company back
01:01:07you're an insult to all good women out there
01:01:10no to all of humanity
01:01:11so now everything that i've ever given you to
01:01:15i'm taking it all back
01:01:19wait everyone stop
01:01:23they're imposters
01:01:28i just got off the phone with the president
01:01:30and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:32because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
01:01:35so we won't go bankrupt
01:01:38the goddess healer
01:01:39you mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine
01:01:42approved of my biomedical products
01:01:45yes that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
01:01:49the goddess healer's motto is
01:01:51the right rewrites the wrong the left leave the wrong bereft
01:01:56that means she's rewarding me
01:01:58the president would never let your company go bankrupt
01:02:01in fact she's on her way now
01:02:06so you're telling me
01:02:07this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here
01:02:10isn't lysander armstrong
01:02:12who the fuck cares who he is
01:02:13if the president and the goddess healer
01:02:16approves of my product
01:02:17who cares about this washed up war hero
01:02:19we can break his legs break his arms
01:02:21no one would even bat an eye
01:02:22she even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services
01:02:26FBI
01:02:27FBI
01:02:29you're under arrest for fraudulent claims
01:02:32and identity theft
01:02:34gotcha
01:02:39guess i still get the last laugh tricksy
01:02:42no don't arrest her
01:02:44tricksy is a good person
01:02:46please officer don't arrest her
01:02:48grandma
01:02:48mr rogers
01:02:50mrs williams
01:02:51what are you all doing here
01:02:52the neighbors heard about the breakup between you and butch
01:02:55we were worried
01:02:56so we came here to back you up
01:02:58listen officer
01:02:59i can attest that tricksy amoria is a good neighbor
01:03:02she's very kind hearted
01:03:04and would never break the law
01:03:06yes and one time when my daughter needed university tuition
01:03:09tricksy gave her everything she had just to help her out
01:03:13she also paid for my recent heart surgery as well
01:03:16my fiance really is an incredible woman
01:03:19she's an angel
01:03:20descended from heaven
01:03:26you must be the criminal pretending to be general lysander armstrong
01:03:30my brother is not a criminal
01:03:32he's a war hero
01:03:33who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
01:03:36without him this whole country would have been bombed to ash
01:03:39and that's why it's twice the crime is stealing his identity
01:03:43general lysander armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist
01:03:47and we've received no word that he's woken up yet so this must be an imposter
01:03:52i can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble
01:03:56i promise i'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex
01:04:02if you want to arrest me fine
01:04:05but don't fuck with my fiance
01:04:06you don't get to decide punk let's go
01:04:31you don't get to decide punk let's go
01:04:32get him
01:04:33if you can
01:04:35oh
01:04:36oh
01:04:38oh
01:04:38oh
01:04:38oh
01:04:40oh
01:04:43oh
01:04:56oh
01:04:57oh
01:04:58oh
01:04:59oh
01:04:59oh
01:05:00oh
01:05:01oh
01:05:01oh
01:05:03oh
01:05:03oh
01:05:06oh
01:05:07oh
01:05:07oh
01:05:07oh
01:05:07oh
01:05:09oh
01:05:09oh
01:05:14oh
01:05:15oh
01:05:16oh
01:05:16oh
01:05:17oh
01:05:17oh
01:05:18oh
01:05:21oh
01:05:24Is that enough pain?
01:05:26Or do you want more?
01:05:35Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
01:05:40Drama.
01:05:42Meet my new fiancé.
01:05:46Wow, your new fiancé.
01:05:48He's so manly.
01:05:50Much better than your last one.
01:05:52I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:55It's Butch's loss.
01:05:57Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:06:00She's like a shining star in the sky,
01:06:02and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:05Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:06:07I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, Sam?
01:06:10Drown out the poor!
01:06:11Drown out the poor!
01:06:13Drown out the poor!
01:06:14Drown out the poor!
01:06:16Drown out the poor!
01:06:17Drown out the poor!
01:06:19See, Trixie?
01:06:20You've got no connections,
01:06:21no power.
01:06:22You can't compete against me,
01:06:24even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:26We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:28So you're using defenseless lives as your shield,
01:06:31because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:33Let them eat cake!
01:06:44You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:46Grab what you can't, fam.
01:06:47Attack!
01:07:05You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:14What the fuck was that?
01:07:15I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:07:17I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:07:27Damn it!
01:07:28Damn it!
01:07:28Damn it!
01:07:28Damn it!
01:07:30You forgot I had a gun, too.
01:07:33That'll teach you from messing with the Wickhams.
01:07:35Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:37We're cornered.
01:07:38I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:40Devon, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:43I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:46They will be punished.
01:07:50Now hold still for me.
01:07:54Rite rewrites the world.
01:08:06Holy fuck!
01:08:08Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:10By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:11She the goddess healer?
01:08:17I'm all better now.
01:08:18Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:20See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:23No.
01:08:24Please.
01:08:25I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:27Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:28Sure.
01:08:30You hear that?
01:08:31She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:08:34She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:37While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:41Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me,
01:08:44but now you've hurt the innocent, too.
01:08:46I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:49And who are you?
01:08:50To judge me for what I do.
01:08:52God?
01:08:53Wrong.
01:08:54But you're close.
01:08:56Oh, bullshit.
01:08:57I'm gonna show you how the elite can travel in your little lives.
01:09:02You wanna cross the line so bad?
01:09:04Then let's see you try.
01:09:05Charge!
01:09:15The hell is this?
01:09:17This is the line between life and death.
01:09:21Yeah, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:24I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:29You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:31What if it's a trap?
01:09:32That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:34We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:35She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:38Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:41I will.
01:09:45Left leaves the wrong breast.
01:09:54I'm fine.
01:09:55Nothing happened.
01:09:57You'll see soon enough.
01:09:58Oh, please.
01:09:59I really wanna die.
01:10:01And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:03I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:05Whoops.
01:10:06Just crossed it again.
01:10:08Whoops.
01:10:09And again.
01:10:10Nothing's happening.
01:10:13Spon.
01:10:17Spon.
01:10:18Spon.
01:10:22No.
01:10:23No, Bob.
01:10:24Hey.
01:10:25What did you do to my brother?
01:10:27I didn't do anything.
01:10:29Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:32I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:34If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:37Come on.
01:10:39Major.
01:10:40Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:10:41How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:43See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:48Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:51Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:00You're so sore I wouldn't marry you.
01:11:02You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:03Oh, please.
01:11:04You hurt us first.
01:11:06At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:09But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:13Marissa, thanks for taking this low life from me.
01:11:18You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:21You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:26When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:32Don't touch my wife.
01:11:36And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:41You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:43But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:47That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:51Oh, really?
01:11:52Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:55You've got nothing on me.
01:12:01Yes.
01:12:01Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:08Goddess.
01:12:09Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:13Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:17Get the VP.
01:12:18We're leaving now.
01:12:22Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:26God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:29I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:32You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:34A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:38Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:39I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:41Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:45You hear that, everyone?
01:12:46There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:52She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:12:58No, my granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:01Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:13:06Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:15Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:21and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:26Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:30I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:32You can only dream of what you can never have, while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:39Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:43It ain't working.
01:13:44You can't just fake the...
01:13:48Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary.
01:13:51It's like real magic.
01:13:53Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:13:58And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:06No.
01:14:07Trixie, look, I believe you.
01:14:10You saved me.
01:14:12Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:16No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:19We'll riot against you now.
01:14:21Tear her apart!
01:14:23Tear her apart!
01:14:24Tear her apart!
01:14:27Tear her apart!
01:14:29The vice president arrives!
01:14:46Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:51You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:54Wait, what?
01:14:57He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:14:59No, no.
01:15:00We've been through this already once, okay?
01:15:02Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:04This actor Trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:15:10But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:14Yes.
01:15:14We all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:16What I mean is...
01:15:19You're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:22And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:25The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell?
01:15:29And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:33So he is the general.
01:15:35Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:37Did you hear that?
01:15:39Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:43So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:46We got the VP and the president.
01:15:49On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:53I told you.
01:15:54Now punish them, Vice President Langley.
01:15:57This is treason.
01:15:58Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:16:06Hurry!
01:16:07The goddess healer needs us.
01:16:11You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:13My brother is a war hero.
01:16:15He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:18He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:20If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:16:21Enough!
01:16:21You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:26Not just your brother.
01:16:28Devin, it's okay.
01:16:31Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:34I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancée's life.
01:16:39And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:41I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:47I truly saved a good man.
01:16:54I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancée.
01:16:57And what can you do about it?
01:16:59Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:17:02My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:17:07Let's try it out on them.
01:17:10Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:17:12There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:13Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:16Despicable!
01:17:16What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:22Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:26Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:35Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:40Shoot!
01:17:41Wait, that's the president.
01:17:55Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:18:07That was, they were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:18:12What?
01:18:12What is this?
01:18:14Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:17This is a war crime.
01:18:19These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:21You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:23I can shoot whoever I want.
01:18:24I have the presidential contract.
01:18:26With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:28And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:33What are you doing?
01:18:34Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:18:37That is easy.
01:18:39There's no need.
01:18:41I'll save everyone.
01:18:54It's raining gold.
01:18:59What's happening?
01:19:00Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:19:02It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:06She, she, she is.
01:19:08She is a criminal.
01:19:10Don't worry, Madam President.
01:19:11We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:13I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:15Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:18What are you talking about?
01:19:19The president literally came here to give me my billion-dollar contract.
01:19:32This contract?
01:19:34Yes.
01:19:36Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:55My contract, you bitch!
01:19:57And that's not all.
01:20:10This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:13There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:16Don't you realize?
01:20:17Or are you too much of a goody-two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:21You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:24Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:26And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:29So prepare yourself.
01:20:30Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:33What are you going to do?
01:20:35The president is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:42You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:45Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:48So what's your final decision?
01:20:52I'll...
01:20:52She's going to give me my billion-dollar...
01:21:00I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:07Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:09You're supposed to be giving me the billion-dollar contract.
01:21:12You wish, idiot!
01:21:16I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:22I don't understand.
01:21:23I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the Goddess of Healing.
01:21:29And do you know the Goddess Healing saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:34You've really seen the Goddess Healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:38The one and only.
01:21:42And it's...
01:21:45Her.
01:21:46Oh!
01:22:01Welcome, Goddess.
01:22:09Uh, we, uh...
01:22:13You really are the Goddess of Healing, aren't you?
01:22:15How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:19Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:23I wanted to walk the Earth as a normal person.
01:22:26Help those in need.
01:22:28And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:31No, so that means the billion-dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:37Then she took it away just like that.
01:22:40That was her golden ticket.
01:22:42You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:22:45But after everything you've done, I'm officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:49No, please, I swear to you, I didn't know you were an actual saint.
01:22:55It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:57Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:22:59She's an amazing person.
01:23:00And you ruin that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:04She's gonna be my wife.
01:23:05Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:14I love you.
01:23:28All her gold, all her clothes, all that could have been mine.
01:23:33This is all your fault.
01:23:34This is all...
01:23:35You seduced me!
01:23:37Stop!
01:23:37You were the one that came on to me, you himbo!
01:23:42Please, Trixie, give me another chance!
01:23:46I want to be rich again!
01:23:47I'll be your slave.
01:23:49Kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:51You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:53But it's too late now.
01:23:55All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:00You two should be locked up.
01:24:01And she shall.
01:24:03For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:24:06arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:09It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:24:11I never loved you.
01:24:12It's your fault!
01:24:13I was only with you for your money.
01:24:15I don't care.
01:24:16You were rich!
01:24:17I'll see myself now!
01:24:20Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:22We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:25My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:24:29I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:31That is why I saved you.
01:24:33With these healing hands,
01:24:35I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:39Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:45Let's party!
01:24:47Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:49Right now?
01:24:50Yes.
01:24:51Well.
01:24:52Woo!
01:24:54Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:24:59I do.
01:25:00I do.
01:25:01You may kiss the bride.
01:25:03No.
01:25:04You may kiss the bride.
01:25:06See you.
01:25:06Bye.
01:25:07Bye.
01:25:07Of course.
01:25:08Bye.
01:25:09Bye.
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