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00:02How the order of the alphabet came to be.
00:07Bartholomew, we've done it.
00:08This is the definitive order in which the letters of the alphabet shall be listed.
00:13A, B, X, M.
00:15S, V, Q, O.
00:17P, L, F.
00:18I, D, N.
00:19W, T.
00:20C, E.
00:21Y, G.
00:22K, Z, J, U.
00:24R.
00:25H.
00:28Yep, that's it.
00:29It's good.
00:30It just feels so random.
00:32I love the first two letters, A and B.
00:34But I think the third letter should be C.
00:38A, B, C.
00:45Oh, Bartholomew, my dear boy, that is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard.
00:50All right, we'll try it.
00:52I respect you, you know.
00:55Yuck.
00:58Oh, it felt wrong when I wrote it.
01:01Maybe C, it's awkward.
01:04It rhymes.
01:05It's fun, yet profound.
01:07Then where are we going to put the X?
01:09Somewhere towards the end.
01:11X is like the big finish.
01:13Bigger than H?
01:17H is the star.
01:21Next thing you're going to say, you want to end with Z or something like that.
01:24Ew, what, ew.
01:26Vencente, please calm down.
01:28I've worked something out and I think it sounds nice.
01:31A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
01:34Stop, stop, bleh, ugh.
01:36Yeah.
01:37I hate that tune.
01:40Sounds like a song for babies.
01:44I thought we agreed the tune needed to be edgy and sophisticated and raw.
01:50Allow me.
01:56ABXM, FZQO, PLF, IDN, WT, C, U, I, G.
02:05KCJU, KCJU, KCJU, KCJU.
02:10The beach!
02:18So, obviously we can't change that.
02:23Isn't that kind of hard to remember?
02:24No, of course not.
02:26I made a mnemonic device.
02:28All big xylophones make sounds.
02:32Very quiet, or pretty loud.
02:41For instance, do not wait to celebrate each year.
02:48Goodness knows, zebras jump up really high.
03:03You're right.
03:06That's a really good sentence. I'm sorry I popped that.
03:09It's fire. It's fire, Bartholomew.
03:14Looking has arrived.
03:26You have the order ready for me?
03:30Your Majesty, we present the alphabet.
03:36A, B, X, N, S, V, Q, L.
03:40Stop!
03:42Now, this displeases me.
03:45It's too edgy.
03:48I feel like I'm being assaulted by letters.
03:53Executioner, off with their heads!
03:55No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
03:57A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
04:01What are you doing?
04:03H, I, J.
04:05H in the middle, no!
04:06K, L, M, N, O, P.
04:08That sounds like one big mushy word.
04:10Q, R, S, T, U, V.
04:14Oh, he's gonna finish with Z, isn't he?
04:16W, X, Y, and Z.
04:20Now, I know my A, B, C's Next time, won't you?
04:30You sing with me.
04:36That was, without a doubt, one of the dumbest, most stupid, idiotically, perfect order of
04:50the alphabet I've ever heard.
04:52I love it!
04:53We did it!
04:55Yeah!
04:57One note, though.
04:58Put the H at the end.
05:01I told you, H is the star!
05:08I wanna run, I wanna run into the night.
05:12I wanna step inside, cause I know what we can do.
05:21I wanna run, I wanna run into the night, I wanna step into a dream with you.
05:29I wanna run, I wanna run into the night, I wanna step inside, cause I know what we can
05:36do.
05:40What a moving film.
05:42Just beautiful.
05:44Please, welcome the writer, director, and star of the film, Vanessa Milton.
05:54Thank you so much.
05:55I always get a little nervous to do a Q&A.
05:58Nothing to be nervous about, just a few questions from our thoughtful audience.
06:02Let's open it up, who has a question?
06:04Yes, you miss.
06:05Uh, yes.
06:06Uh, congratulations on your film premiering at such a prestigious festival.
06:10Thank you so much.
06:12Um, this is actually just a dream come true for me.
06:14I didn't like it.
06:17I'm sorry?
06:18Your movie, I didn't like it.
06:21I thought it was boring.
06:23Oh, okay.
06:26Uh, did you have a question?
06:28Oh, uh, okay.
06:29Um, why did you make it so boring?
06:36The question is about the film and why it was so boring.
06:44I guess I didn't think it was.
06:46Really?
06:47Huh.
06:50Who's next?
06:51You, sir.
06:51What's your question?
06:52Uh, yeah.
06:53Uh, can I be in your next movie?
06:57Are you an actor?
06:58Oh, no.
06:59I just, uh, it seemed pretty easy.
07:04I'll keep you in mind.
07:06All right.
07:08Great question.
07:09Who's next?
07:10Yes.
07:10Uh, yeah.
07:11Hi.
07:11Congrats on your film.
07:13I'm actually editing my first film right now.
07:15Oh, congratulations.
07:16It's nice to meet a fellow artist.
07:18Yep.
07:18Uh, so my question is about my computer.
07:22When I press Command Z on my laptop, it doesn't undo anything.
07:29Is there something else I should be pressing?
07:33Yeah, I don't know.
07:35Let's go to someone else.
07:36Yes, you, sir.
07:37Pink Scarf.
07:39Uh, hi.
07:40I found this film to be deeply moving.
07:43Just so sad.
07:45Really, really depressing.
07:49And it's about your life.
07:51Woof.
07:54Um...
07:54Would you agree that you're the saddest woman with the worst life ever?
08:00No.
08:02Thank you for these thoughtful questions.
08:05Who's next?
08:06Yes, you in the sweater.
08:08I was hoping you could talk a little bit about the rehearsal process.
08:11Yes.
08:12Okay.
08:13Actually, I would love to talk about that.
08:14I'm sorry.
08:15I meant the other person in the other sweater.
08:19You, sir.
08:20Yes.
08:20What's your question?
08:22Yeah, what was the name of this?
08:26The question is about the name of the film and what it is.
08:31It's unsung memories.
08:32It's literally on the screen.
08:36Yes?
08:37Uh, yeah.
08:38If you need to get in contact with me, uh, my email is jellygirl with a U at AOL dot
08:46com.
08:47Was there a question in there?
08:49Oh, uh, I guess my question is, uh, did you write down my email?
08:54For those in the back, the question is, did you write down jellygirl at AOL dot com?
09:01No.
09:02She did not.
09:05Okay, looks like we have time for one more question.
09:10Yes, one more.
09:13One more question.
09:16I don't think there's any more questions.
09:18Not gonna leave.
09:22Until we get one more question.
09:29Yes, you again, sir.
09:32Yeah, what was the name of this?
09:38I still need all the memories that we'll never be.
09:57Of course I'm afraid.
10:01I mean, if you think about it numerically, we're as close as it gets.
10:07I've never met him, but I've heard the stories.
10:10What stories?
10:12What he did.
10:13What did he do?
10:15Seven, eight, nine.
10:24Can you tell me from the beginning?
10:26I always wanted to settle down.
10:29We had a nice variable, become his coefficient, start an equation together.
10:33So when I first met my ex...
10:35You were divorced?
10:35No, that's his name.
10:37Ex and I got married and soon we had our lucky number.
10:41Our little baby seven.
10:43Prime number, just like me.
10:45He was always such a curious little integer.
10:48Always tinkering.
10:52I think things started going south in high school.
10:54Started hanging out with a lot of negative numbers, a lot of improper fractions.
10:57Just felt like he was subtracting his life away.
11:00I don't know.
11:00Maybe I was too hard on a boy, but almost parenthetical, not his friend, you know?
11:03Once he graduated, he just wasn't the same.
11:07He started talking like an irrational number, going on these crazy tangents.
11:11Looking back, all the signs were there.
11:14And the cosines.
11:17Where were you the day nine died?
11:19I was at the precinct, and I got a call with the description of the victim.
11:22Young, single, digit.
11:24Did you ever see the body?
11:25Yes and no.
11:26By the time we got there, there were only fractions left.
11:28Real small ones.
11:30I'm talking numerator one, denominator in the fifties, even sixties.
11:35Who would do something like that?
11:37It wasn't a big number, but he had absolute value.
11:41We all do.
11:43At first, I thought maybe five eight nine, or twelve eight nine.
11:48But then we ran the numbers.
11:50We didn't check out.
11:50It just wasn't the right order of operations.
11:53Then I thought seven eight nine.
11:57Sequentially, it made the most sense.
11:59I was shocked.
12:01I didn't try to reach out to seven.
12:03I just called my husband.
12:05Y.
12:06No, X.
12:07Y is my cousin.
12:09It's hard, you know.
12:11But it's like my old man used to say.
12:13Four Y plus ten Z.
12:16What does that mean?
12:19It's just an expression.
12:21I don't feel safe.
12:23I mean, if you think about it, what's the difference between nine and six?
12:28Technically three, but visually?
12:31Just four?
12:34Whoop!
12:34Whoop!
12:36Where's seven now?
12:38Guess you could say that's divided by zero.
12:42Undefined?
12:44Undefined.
13:06Hey, you the foreman here?
13:08Yeah, who's asking?
13:09Hey, don't get smart with us, pal.
13:12Poor police.
13:13Play nice.
13:14Yeah, sure, fellas.
13:15I'm the foreman.
13:17And we're tracking a suspicious container that came in on the Ocean Spirit.
13:20Was that unloaded here?
13:22Maybe it was.
13:23Maybe it wasn't.
13:24I don't know.
13:25My memory ain't so good, you know.
13:28Would 50 bucks jog your memory?
13:31I don't know.
13:33My memory issues, they real bad.
13:35A wise guy, huh?
13:37All right.
13:37How about $8,000?
13:40Would $8,000 jog your memory?
13:43Uh, yes.
13:44A ship came in on the 27th.
13:46That lady ran the manifest.
13:47Hot peanuts!
13:48I'm rich!
13:49Uh, that was a lot of money.
13:53Price of crime in this dirty town.
13:55Is it?
13:56Hey, where's your ship's manifest?
13:58I don't show nothing to cops.
14:00Oh, yeah?
14:01Well, would you show it to $8,000?
14:04$8,000?
14:06I'd have rolled over for $100.
14:08She's all yours.
14:10We're a couple of bloodhounds sniffing out crime.
14:14$8,000?
14:15Again?
14:16Listen, O'Keefe, there are two amounts of money in this world.
14:19The wrong amount and $8,000.
14:24She said she'd do it for $100.
14:26We're tracking counterfeit VHS tapes.
14:28This ain't a huge case.
14:29Yeah, but I really need this promotion.
14:32Money's been pretty tight.
14:33Okay.
14:35Listen to me.
14:35We're doing this the old-fashioned way.
14:37No more bribes, okay?
14:38Hey, you!
14:40Oh.
14:42Where can we find Mickey Peanuts?
14:44Oh, I, uh...
14:46I don't know nothing.
14:47Well, uh, perhaps a friendly handshake would jog your memory.
14:51What are you doing?
14:53Just a friendly handshake with a friendly $8,000.
14:58Woo-hoo!
14:59Mickey hangs out over there!
15:02Hey, listen to me.
15:04We're gonna go over to these guys.
15:05I forbid you from giving them $8,000.
15:08You sound like my wife.
15:10Quit draining the kid's college fund in $8,000 chunks.
15:14I'm serious.
15:16Uh, yeah, fine, me too.
15:17No more eight grand.
15:18Okay.
15:18Okay, folks, which one of you is Mickey Peanuts?
15:21Nine grand, final offer.
15:23Oh, this guy's Mickey.
15:24Yeah, the one in the stupid hat.
15:27Nine grand?
15:28Yeah, that didn't feel right.
15:29We definitely overpaid.
15:32Should've done eight.
15:34Ah, crud.
15:35I didn't do it.
15:36Oh, yeah?
15:36Tell it to the eight grand I'm giving you right now.
15:40What?!
15:40I did do it.
15:43Well, you may be an idiot, but you get results.
15:46We're letting you off with a warning.
15:48No more bad stuff.
15:50Okay.
15:52Our work here is done.
15:54Let's go, O'Keefe.
15:55I'll buy you a steak.
15:56I know a place that'll give you a free baked potato if you slip a mate grand.
16:13Mom, I don't think that spray used worked.
16:16I'm still seeing ants.
16:17Ugh, they're everywhere.
16:19Don't worry, guys, alright?
16:20I just called an exterminator.
16:21She should be here any second.
16:23Oh, that's probably her.
16:25Hello, Campbell family!
16:32My name is Tam Flank, former Hollywood animal wrangler turned exterminator.
16:40I was a master at getting monkeys to do what I wanted, and now I work with insects.
16:46Or as I call them, very tiny monkeys.
16:51So, what's the play?
16:53Uh, it's ants.
16:54Yeah, we think they're getting in right here.
16:57Yeah, they're pretty persistent.
16:59Heh.
17:00Ants?
17:00Thought you said this would be a tough one.
17:03Should be a piece of cake.
17:04Thank you so much.
17:05Now watch the master at work.
17:09Ants!
17:10Please!
17:11Leave!
17:13Please!
17:14Please!
17:16Please!
17:17Guys, just get out of here, would ya?
17:20Just do me a solid.
17:21Pick another place anywhere else.
17:23Just not here, please!
17:25There's a teenager here and he thinks I'm an idiot because you guys won't just go!
17:29Can they understand you?
17:31What the heck is going on?
17:34I'm about to close this deal and you dummies won't zip it?
17:38Sorry, it's just, is this your whole plan?
17:41Beg the ants to leave?
17:42Would you rather I just sprayed chemicals all over your house and your food and your wife?
17:48And then she eats the food and she dies?
17:51Oh!
17:53Oh!
17:55Oh!
17:57Oh!
17:58Oh!
18:00Okay, it just doesn't seem like your tactics are working.
18:03That's cause I keep getting interrupted!
18:07May I?
18:09Thank you!
18:10And now watch and witness genius in your very own!
18:16Okay ants, you ding-dongs!
18:19Why won't you listen?
18:21Just go!
18:23I got fresh strawberries in my truck.
18:27It's in the driveway!
18:30What do you ants want?
18:32Okay, fine.
18:33You want this flat screen TV?
18:35I'll give you a flat TV if you leave.
18:36Hey, hey, hey!
18:37No, no, no, no, no, no!
18:38Why?
18:39This is working!
18:40This isn't working.
18:42Well, they just stopped following me.
18:45When you said that they went,
18:46Hey, he don't believe in I?
18:47Why should we?
18:49Mom, Dad, my advice?
18:51Lose the bozo!
18:53You're a bozo!
18:55If I'm a bozo, how come I'm Tonka the Chimp's emergency contact?
19:00Huh?
19:01What?
19:01What?
19:03I don't know what that means.
19:05Well, do you know what this means?
19:06Ooh, ooh, ah, ah!
19:08Cause all the tangs I work with do.
19:12Ooh, ooh, ooh!
19:13Just called you a bozo again.
19:16Can we just hire a regular exterminator?
19:19Please, just get rid of these ants.
19:21I am!
19:23Now, pull out your phones and take a movie of this.
19:26Cause you're about to see a virtuoso do what they do best.
19:31You win!
19:33I surrender!
19:35Please, eat my body and carry it away in tiny ant-sized pieces, please!
19:41I don't know what I'm doing.
19:42They're filming me on their phones and I look ridiculous right now!
19:48I'll give you anything in this house.
19:50Do this one thing for me and I'll give you everything this family owns.
19:53No, you will not.
19:54Yeah, we're paying you to kill these ants. Just kill the ants, would ya?
19:57Fine!
20:00You want me to kill these ants?
20:02I'll be your crusty monster.
20:05Say goodbye to these ants.
20:07Cause this is the day they all die!
20:11Shoot, missed.
20:13Shoot, missed.
20:14Shoot, that's a raisin.
20:20We present the alphabet.
20:23A is for Alexa.
20:24B is for Bozo.
20:25C is for Call the Coroner.
20:27Pastapal passed on.
20:28B is for Debbie.
20:30F for Trick or Treat.
20:32Just kidding.
20:32FBI!
20:34G for H for H for Ego.
20:36I don't think I'm at the right party.
20:38J for Jimmy.
20:40K for Kevin!
20:40L for...
20:41Listen to my lips.
20:43No, you like your ABCs.
20:46Everybody's sitting along with me.
20:48It's as easy as can be.
20:50I'm a little alpha.
20:52M for Barney!
20:54N for...
20:55O for...
20:56Our parents have amnesia!
20:58P is for Princess!
20:59Q is for Quiet!
21:00R for...
21:01Red hair, she's a bear.
21:02S for Cindy.
21:04T for...
21:04U for...
21:05I'm going undercover!
21:07B for Vinny.
21:08W for...
21:09B is for...
21:10X f...
21:12Y...
21:12Wise feet.
21:13Yes, Your Honor.
21:14Z...
21:15Santisfits.
21:15And Barry on time.
21:17And now we know the Alpha beat.
21:19We can make music with anything.
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