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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28The End
00:00:29But you really shouldn't, after all those dreadful warnings.
00:00:33Mrs Carpenter's husband gave it up and he got run down by a bus a week later.
00:00:38That's got nothing to do with him giving up smoking.
00:00:41No, but it didn't do him any good, did it?
00:00:43Mrs Craig?
00:00:49I'm Miss Pinson, your area supervisor.
00:00:51Were you smoking, Mrs Craig?
00:00:53Yeah.
00:00:55No, it's against company rules. I shall report you.
00:00:58You do that.
00:01:00Area supervisor.
00:01:02She's all mouth and trousers.
00:01:16Spaz in.
00:01:17Fags out.
00:01:30Spaz in. Fags out.
00:01:30Good morning, Mrs Beddoweth.
00:01:31Good morning, Miss.
00:01:42Spaz in. Fags out.
00:01:52Jim?
00:01:59Jim?
00:02:00Jim?
00:02:03Where the hell is he?
00:02:05Good morning, Mrs Beddoweth.
00:02:24Good morning, Mrs Beddoweth.
00:02:28Would I have got up in the middle of the night to be here otherwise?
00:02:31You're lucky. I've been up all night in that blasted train.
00:02:33I couldn't get a sleeper. No breakfast evening.
00:02:35What's all the excitement about?
00:02:36Poor Macfarlane. He can't raise the money.
00:02:39He's dropping out.
00:02:40Then Waldron's takeover bid will fall through.
00:02:41Not on your nally, it won't, mate.
00:02:46Sidney. Sidney, my boy.
00:02:48You and I are going to make a bid to take over Waldron's properties.
00:02:52What's talking about our own, Sidney?
00:02:54You're so quick.
00:02:55The shares were down to 15 bob last night.
00:02:58We are going to offer Waldron a pound.
00:03:00Cash.
00:03:01A pound? Cash?
00:03:03Jim Ryder, have you gone raving mad?
00:03:05Where's that dumb blonde put that Waldron file?
00:03:08Well, I've found her.
00:03:10Look, as soon as I got that wire, I knew it meant trouble.
00:03:13Anyway, where the hell are we going to find the money?
00:03:15Borrow it.
00:03:16Borrow it?
00:03:17Borrow it?
00:03:17At 40%?
00:03:18Now I know you've gone mad.
00:03:20Course I have.
00:03:23You buy me breakfast.
00:03:24I'll explain why.
00:03:25Come on, we'll go to that cheap dump round the corner.
00:03:27It won't cost you so much.
00:03:29Pound. Cash.
00:03:34Give them a quid out me own pocket
00:03:36if only they'd stop walking over my clean floor.
00:03:43Oh, dear.
00:03:45I thought I heard voices.
00:03:48Come, have you finished this floor yet?
00:03:50I did.
00:03:51I'd heard of rhinoceroses just went through.
00:03:54Rhinoceroses?
00:03:56Oh, dear.
00:04:06Well, if he doesn't want it, I'll know somebody what does.
00:04:25Good morning, Mrs. C.
00:04:27Morning, Colonel.
00:04:30Bills, bills, bills.
00:04:32Oh.
00:04:34They say rain's on the way?
00:04:36Well, I hope so.
00:04:37I need heavy going for Epsom this week.
00:04:39You and your horses.
00:04:40What happened to that one yesterday?
00:04:42You know, the one what couldn't lose?
00:04:44Last.
00:04:45In a field of 15.
00:04:46Well, then, my better luck next time.
00:04:48How long can this sort of luck last, Mrs. C?
00:04:50It doesn't matter what it is.
00:04:52Horses, dogs, the boat race.
00:04:53I get a tip to buy Belling's machine tools.
00:04:56Straight from the horse's mouth.
00:04:58I buy the shares.
00:04:59They double their profits.
00:05:01Well, that's nice, isn't it?
00:05:03Lovely.
00:05:04What did they do?
00:05:05They dropped half a crown.
00:05:07Oh, you never can tell with horses.
00:05:10Horses?
00:05:10You don't listen to a word I say, do you?
00:05:13Oh, yes, I do.
00:05:14I don't understand a word of it, but I do listen.
00:05:18Oh.
00:05:20I've got something for you.
00:05:21What is it?
00:05:23Oh, the cigar.
00:05:26Good condition, too.
00:05:28Where did you pinch this?
00:05:30I didn't pinch it.
00:05:31I don't pinch things as well you should know.
00:05:34Mrs. C, you didn't buy it.
00:05:35There's no band, and it's been pierced.
00:05:38That's why I took it.
00:05:39I found it in the waste paper basket.
00:05:41Oh, thanks very much.
00:05:43Very kind thought.
00:05:44Now, you sit there and have a little smoke.
00:05:46It'll do you good.
00:05:47I'll go and make you a nice cup of tea.
00:06:05Oh, dear.
00:06:06You did give me a turn.
00:06:07I'm sorry.
00:06:08Where did you get the cigar?
00:06:09Why?
00:06:10What's the matter with it?
00:06:11Isn't it any good?
00:06:12Just shows you can never tell, can you?
00:06:15Posh, offices and holes.
00:06:16There's nothing the matter with the cigar, dear.
00:06:17It's probably one of the best cigars that's made.
00:06:19Where did you get it?
00:06:20The place where I work early mornings.
00:06:23I saw it lying there, and I says to myself, I says,
00:06:25Oh, the Colonel would love that, I says.
00:06:28So I took it.
00:06:29He didn't want it.
00:06:30Mrs. C, who is he?
00:06:31The man I work for, Mr. Ryder.
00:06:33Not James Ryder.
00:06:34That's him, Jim Ryder.
00:06:36You know him well enough to call him Jim.
00:06:38Oh, me now.
00:06:39I've never spoken to him in me life.
00:06:41Why, what's the special about him, anyway?
00:06:43Nothing, really.
00:06:44He's just one of those wide boys who's making a fortune just now out of property development.
00:06:48Oh, he can't be the same bloke.
00:06:51If you'd have heard him carrying on about a quid one way or the other,
00:06:54he'd have to borrow that anyway.
00:06:56What wouldn't I give to know what's going on in his mind?
00:06:58Not much, I shouldn't think.
00:07:00If you could have seen the way they was marching up and down on my clean floor,
00:07:05I could have killed them stone dead, the pair of them.
00:07:08I thought the other bloke was going to drop dead when he said he was going to offer Waldron a
00:07:11quid.
00:07:12Mrs. Craig, are you sure he said that?
00:07:14Sure as I'm here.
00:07:16He said, I am going to offer Waldron one pound cash.
00:07:21Kimmy quite a turn it did.
00:07:23Because Waldron was Mr. Craig's second name.
00:07:28Oh dear, another one for the nut house if you ask me.
00:07:32Yes, all right. I'll hold on.
00:07:34Here's your cup of tea. It's getting cold.
00:07:36Damn the tea. I'm sorry, Mrs. C, but this is important.
00:07:38This is probably the hottest tip I've ever had.
00:07:40Dear, oh dear, you and your horses.
00:07:43Mrs. C, this has nothing whatever to do with... Yes, I'm holding on.
00:07:45You see, a chap was going to buy a firm called Waldron's.
00:07:49According to this, he changed his mind.
00:07:51The shares will go down. I shall buy some.
00:07:54Then I shall wait for Ryder to make his offer.
00:07:55The shares will rise, and I'll sell them at a profit.
00:07:57It's as simple as that.
00:07:59Yeah, it's just about as simple as that horse that couldn't lose yesterday.
00:08:03I'll make you a fresh cap.
00:08:04Mr. Gordian, sir.
00:08:04Yes, yes, I am holding on.
00:08:07Your cousin, the gallant colonel.
00:08:09Oh, boy, blimey. More dad tips.
00:08:13Hello, sir. What can I do you for?
00:08:15Roderick, can you give me a quotation for Waldron this morning?
00:08:19I might have guessed he wants a quotation on Waldron's.
00:08:22Listen, one hour ago, the news broke that McFarlane's bid had been withdrawn.
00:08:27They haven't been off the phone since. You can't even give them away.
00:08:29You can't? Splendid.
00:08:30I want you to buy me £5,000 worth of Waldron's ordinaries.
00:08:34£5,000?
00:08:36Are you completely out of your tiny mind? Where the hell could you find £5,000?
00:08:39I don't have to find it. I'm buying it for the account.
00:08:42For the account?
00:08:43My dear idiot, do you realise they've got to be paid for eventually?
00:08:46And on the present showing, they wouldn't be worth the paper they're printed on.
00:08:49I'll give you security.
00:08:51Security? Such as what?
00:08:52A pair of cufflinks, a watch.
00:08:53Sorry, old man, I'm a stockbroker, not a pawnbroker.
00:08:55I wasn't thinking of cufflinks or a watch. I was thinking of this house.
00:09:00Do I get this right?
00:09:02You'll put that house up against my buying £5,000 worth of Waldron shares?
00:09:07Yes.
00:09:08Get your solicitor to send the deeds round right away.
00:09:11Bye, sir.
00:09:19Well, Mrs. Craig, I've done it. I've plumbed for Waldron's up to the hilt.
00:09:23Well, I hope it wins. Here's your tea.
00:09:24If it does, we'll split the profits 50-50.
00:09:27Well, that's very kind of you, Colonel, but if you don't...
00:09:29No, no, no, I insist. One doesn't get a tip like that every day. Fair's fair. 50-50.
00:09:34I was about to say, Colonel, as how I haven't had no wages for the past fortnight. So that'll be
00:09:41£2.10, if you don't mind.
00:09:43Well, I am a little bit short of the ready this week. I wonder if you could possibly wait till
00:09:47next Monday.
00:09:48Looks as though I shall have to, doesn't it?
00:09:51If we get control of Waldron's, we can take over this site just like that. Think of it. All on
00:09:57the one conveyance, one owner, due for demolition in the next ten years. Nice and tidy, eh?
00:10:03If we get a wiggle on, we can have the whole thing completed in eight, ten months, say, a year
00:10:07at the outside.
00:10:10Hey, I still don't like it, Jim. I mean, we've got enough on our plate as it is.
00:10:15Do you realise if I'd have listened to your gloomy warnings, we'd still be in Stepney with 18 quid in
00:10:19the bank?
00:10:20And you made sure I could only get that out at three quid a day, didn't you?
00:10:2318 quid is a lot more than we've got in the bank at the moment, Jim Ryder.
00:10:28Hello?
00:10:28Were they kicked?
00:10:29Yes, sir. Will you hold on a moment, sir? I'll just see if he's in.
00:10:33Er, out.
00:10:34That's what they come down. I got the tip this morning.
00:10:38Excuse me, sir. You're wanted on the telephone.
00:10:42Hello. Ryder.
00:10:44What?
00:10:48What?
00:10:50No, I certainly did not.
00:10:54Okay. Thanks.
00:11:00Only two people knew that we'd made a takeover bid for Waldron's. You and I.
00:11:05Have you been talking?
00:11:07No. Why?
00:11:08Because this morning somebody bought 5,000 quids worth.
00:11:11What?
00:11:11They sent the price up by one and sixpence already.
00:11:14Come on, we'd better get back. I'll get in contact with Waldron's, full of price rises any higher.
00:11:24Hello?
00:11:25Oh, hello, Roderick.
00:11:27What's been happening? I've been trying to get you all the morning.
00:11:29Well, I didn't think they could sink any lower, but they managed it.
00:11:32Lower? Oh, no.
00:11:34And I was just coming round to measure the house for carpets and curtains when the rumour of the writer
00:11:37takeover began to circulate.
00:11:38The shares started to rise. Then the rumour was confirmed and they rocketed.
00:11:42Rocketed? Well, what are they standing at now?
00:11:44Nineteen and six. This means you've already doubled your investment.
00:11:48Yes, you've made a nice, cool 5,000 pounds.
00:11:50Sell them? Sell the lot?
00:11:52You're a lucky devil. You must have had the tip straight from the horse's mouth.
00:11:54Well, from my charlady.
00:11:56Charlady?
00:12:03Good morning, Colonel.
00:12:04Good morning, Mrs. C.
00:12:07Here we are.
00:12:10Hello?
00:12:12You don't look too good.
00:12:15You stay there and I'll get you a nice pick-me-up.
00:12:18And what brought this little lot on, if it's not a rude question?
00:12:22Mrs. C., you remember when we bought those shares, I told you we'd split the profit 50-50?
00:12:27Yes, so you did. I'd forgotten all about it. Don't you worry about that here.
00:12:32Take this. It'll make you feel better. I'll go and put the kettle on your tea.
00:12:36You'll be ready and no time.
00:12:36In fact, of course, when I bought the shares, you see, I didn't realise what might happen.
00:12:41Oh, Colonel.
00:12:43You haven't lost a lot of money over that bit of paper I give you, have you?
00:12:47No, no, no. I didn't lose money, Mrs. Craig. I made it.
00:12:50You made it?
00:12:51Oh, I am glad. Isn't that nice? You could do with a few quid.
00:12:59Yes, it's more than a few quid, Mrs. Craig. It's quite a lot more.
00:13:04More?
00:13:06Yes. Guess.
00:13:09Erm... 50 pounds?
00:13:11More.
00:13:13Not a hundred pounds.
00:13:16More.
00:13:21More?
00:13:23Not as much as 200 pounds?
00:13:29Yes, Mrs. Craig. As much as 200 pounds.
00:13:33Oh, well, that's wonderful, isn't it?
00:13:37And remember, you're in 50-50.
00:13:39Oh, no.
00:13:40Oh, nonsense, Mrs. Craig. I insist. A bargain's a bargain.
00:13:44200 pounds?
00:13:46I can't make the tea.
00:13:51No, Colonel.
00:13:52That money. It isn't right.
00:13:55Well, I may have slightly underestimated it. You see, I'm not very good at figures.
00:13:59No, Colonel. It was your idea.
00:14:02Yes, but, Mrs. Craig, I...
00:14:03No. I will take 50 pounds and not a penny more.
00:14:07Is that as much as you expected?
00:14:09As much as I...
00:14:11I didn't expect a brass farthing.
00:14:14I'll go and make the tea.
00:14:21It was real kind of you giving me that 50 pounds, Colonel.
00:14:25I know you did promise me half,
00:14:28but a lot of people would have kept their mouths shut.
00:14:32And I would have been none the wiser, would I?
00:14:34Nonsense, Mrs. Craig. You had my word as an officer.
00:14:37And I trust a gentleman.
00:14:40Oh, you could have told me you only made a fiver.
00:14:43I'd have been quite happy.
00:14:45That's half your trouble, Colonel. You're too honest.
00:14:58And all we was a bit push for the street outing.
00:15:01And the kids don't half enjoy that, no mistake.
00:15:04So it was lucky for them you made that 200 pounds, wasn't it?
00:15:07I didn't.
00:15:08Didn't what?
00:15:09I didn't make 200 pounds.
00:15:11But you distinctly told me!
00:15:14Never mind what I told you, Mrs. Craig.
00:15:16I didn't make 200 pounds.
00:15:18I made 5,000.
00:15:31Did you say 5,000 pounds?
00:15:35I did, Mrs. Craig.
00:15:39I think perhaps it would be safer
00:15:40if I were to give you your share right away.
00:15:45Now, just a minute, Colonel.
00:15:48Let me get this straight.
00:15:50Are you telling me
00:15:52that you made 5,000 pounds
00:15:55out of that bit of paper I give to you?
00:15:57That and a little bit of specialised knowledge.
00:16:00Then somebody must have lost 5,000 pounds.
00:16:02No, nobody lost 5,000 pounds, Mrs. Craig.
00:16:05We bought shares at a certain price
00:16:07and sold them at a better price.
00:16:08That's high finance.
00:16:10It smells high to me.
00:16:12Oh, that's what the Stock Exchange is for, Mrs. Craig.
00:16:15So that ordinary people, you know,
00:16:17people like you and I can express our trust
00:16:19in this or that industrial concern
00:16:21and keep the great wheels of commerce turning.
00:16:25I didn't see no wheels of commerce.
00:16:28All I saw was a bit of paper.
00:16:30And I didn't have no confidence in that
00:16:32because I didn't know what was written on it, did I?
00:16:34And you didn't have no confidence neither
00:16:36because you never knew it existed,
00:16:38not until I give you that cigar wrapped up in it.
00:16:41It isn't right. It can't be.
00:16:44A few pounds is one thing,
00:16:46but 5,000 pounds is a different kettle of fish.
00:16:48Nonsense, Mrs. Craig. People are doing it all the time.
00:16:51Not people like me, isn't.
00:16:52There must be something wrong somewhere.
00:16:55Mrs. Craig, there's nothing wrong.
00:16:56You don't think I do anything dishonest, do you?
00:16:59Yes!
00:17:01Well, I didn't in the end, did I?
00:17:03Well, it's legal, Mrs. Craig.
00:17:05What's legal can't be dishonest.
00:17:07In that case, there won't be any harm in my telling him about it, will there?
00:17:11Telling who?
00:17:11Mr. Ryder, it was his bit of paper.
00:17:14And he can have this and all.
00:17:16After all, it must be his.
00:17:17It was him what had the confidence.
00:17:19But you're not going to take my cheque to Mr. Ryder?
00:17:22I am.
00:17:24My mind is made up.
00:17:26There is no time like the present.
00:17:38Come in.
00:17:42Good morning. Can I help you?
00:17:44Good morning, Miss.
00:17:46I'm the lady what does hear of a morning.
00:17:48Oh, yes.
00:17:49Well, I was wondering if I might see the gentleman...
00:17:53Oh, Mr. Ryder.
00:17:56Of course, if they had their way, they'd bang us all into crowded grottos like what the Germans did.
00:18:01I told you it was big business, and if a superb block of luxury offices ain't big business, I'd like
00:18:07to know what is.
00:18:09Ryder Enterprise Limited.
00:18:11Sounds like a cartel to me.
00:18:13What's a cartel?
00:18:17Well, anyway, they're the worst.
00:18:19You mark my words.
00:18:20They'll ground us all to pieces just like the rest of them.
00:18:25Ground us to pieces?
00:18:26Who?
00:18:27The capitalists.
00:18:29And what will they say when our bellies are flapping for lack of bread?
00:18:33What will they say?
00:18:35Let them eat cake.
00:18:36Oh, I like cake.
00:18:38What can I do for you?
00:18:41Well...
00:18:45Yes?
00:18:46Mr. Baker of Southern Demolition for you, sir.
00:18:49Put him through.
00:18:54Ryder.
00:18:54All right, there's George here.
00:18:56Hello, George.
00:18:57Hello, mate. Are you all right?
00:18:59Fine, old boy, fine.
00:19:01I've got a little job for you.
00:19:02Oh.
00:19:03I want you to give me a price.
00:19:04I'm pulling down some houses in Pitt Street.
00:19:06I'll beg your pardon?
00:19:07No.
00:19:08Pitt Street.
00:19:08It's a property we've just taken over.
00:19:11Are you in a hurry about it, mate?
00:19:12Of course I'm in a hurry.
00:19:13Any sitting tenants?
00:19:14Sitting tenants?
00:19:15Well, after always, old boy.
00:19:17Don't you worry about it.
00:19:18I'll have them out of there before you can say bulldozer.
00:19:20Yeah, careful.
00:19:21Well, I'll pick you up in a few minutes and we'll go straight down to the site.
00:19:24All right, see you down there, Jim.
00:19:25Out of a dirge.
00:19:26Right.
00:19:34Now, Mrs. Crack.
00:19:35Well, sir, there were two things, really.
00:19:39Two?
00:19:40Look, sir, this won't take up very much of your valuable time.
00:19:46So you're the man who's going to pull down Pitt Street.
00:19:50That's right.
00:19:51You live there.
00:19:52Yes, I do.
00:19:53And all me friends live there and all.
00:19:55I get it.
00:19:56And I've asked you to use your position here to persuade me not to pull it down.
00:20:00Nobody has asked me to do nothing.
00:20:02I've come here off me own bat.
00:20:04Now, look, Mrs. Crack.
00:20:05The world is changing.
00:20:08And it's no good you and your friends resisting that change.
00:20:10You've got to accept it, assist it, and if possible, anticipate it.
00:20:16Let me tell you what the ministry says about Pitt Street.
00:20:21These buildings are scheduled for demolition in the next ten years
00:20:24as they no longer measure up favorably to the required standards of housing.
00:20:28God, those houses are no better nor no worse than the day they was built.
00:20:33They haven't changed.
00:20:34And human beings haven't changed neither.
00:20:36They've still got two legs and two hands, haven't they?
00:20:38And they've only got one head.
00:20:40Nothing's changed.
00:20:41Some of them families have lived in their houses all their lives.
00:20:44They've grown up together.
00:20:45Why, there's one old lady there of over 80.
00:20:48She's lived there 60 years.
00:20:51It's about time she had to change then, isn't it?
00:20:55It's always the same with progress.
00:20:57As soon as anybody wants to build anything, somebody squawks.
00:21:03Now, look, Mrs. Crack.
00:21:04If you and your friends had any sense,
00:21:06they'll take the alternative accommodation I'm offering and get moving.
00:21:09Alternative accommodation?
00:21:10And what had you in mind for me?
00:21:13Well, let's see.
00:21:19Ah, here's a nice little house in, er, Birkborough.
00:21:24Birkborough.
00:21:24I wouldn't live there if you paid me.
00:21:27That's one of them new towns, isn't it?
00:21:29I don't understand you people.
00:21:30The minister goes to all his trouble and expense at building these new towns.
00:21:33Are you...
00:21:34Take Birkborough.
00:21:35You take it.
00:21:36He's got the lot.
00:21:38Pubs.
00:21:39I've got a pub.
00:21:41Dance halls.
00:21:42Dance halls.
00:21:44Golf course.
00:21:46Do you know I haven't had a round of golf for I don't know how long?
00:21:51All right, then.
00:21:52What has Pitt Street got that Birkborough hasn't?
00:21:55Me friends.
00:21:58And I'm not getting out.
00:22:01And you can't bundle us into the street because the law wouldn't let you.
00:22:05You're forgetting that.
00:22:06And you're forgetting that technically this is a condemned slum.
00:22:09Slum.
00:22:10Slum, indeed.
00:22:11Yes.
00:22:12Slum.
00:22:12And any judge would lend a sympathetic ear to any proposition I might make,
00:22:15especially as I'm offering alternative accommodation.
00:22:17He might.
00:22:18And then again, he might not.
00:22:20Granted.
00:22:21And if he didn't, I could appeal.
00:22:23Can't you see you're playing a game you can't possibly win?
00:22:25You mean because we haven't got no money?
00:22:28Partly.
00:22:29Their money isn't everything.
00:22:30Oh, you mean it's something else?
00:22:32Oh, it might do you a bit of good to want for something, me lad.
00:22:38To know what it's like to struggle.
00:22:40Marnet!
00:22:41Let me tell you something.
00:22:44Do you know Orpington Street?
00:22:46Yes.
00:22:47Orpington Street.
00:22:48Just behind Pitt Street.
00:22:49I was born there.
00:22:50Number 13.
00:22:52Do you know how much my old mother got when she was a char?
00:22:55A bloody sight less than what you get now.
00:22:58Nine pence an hour.
00:22:59That's what she got.
00:23:00When she could get it.
00:23:05When the landlord kicked her out of the arse, there was no alternative accommodation.
00:23:09She went into her work class.
00:23:11I went into her home.
00:23:14I learned.
00:23:15Nobody gives you anything for nothing.
00:23:19Don't they?
00:23:19Of course they don't, gal.
00:23:23You think I'm hard, don't you?
00:23:25Maybe I am.
00:23:27Good business and sentimentomics.
00:23:29If you want anything, you've got to go out and get it.
00:23:33So long as it's legal.
00:23:35So long as it's legal.
00:23:42Thank you, sir.
00:23:46I'll remember that.
00:23:48That letter.
00:23:49Is it for me?
00:23:50No, sir.
00:23:51It's for me.
00:24:00So you didn't give him back his cheque, Mrs. Craig?
00:24:02No.
00:24:03I want you to...
00:24:06What do you call it?
00:24:08Re-invest it.
00:24:09Re-invest it?
00:24:10Oh, I don't think I care to do that.
00:24:11You see, it wouldn't be the same next time.
00:24:13I only wish we could get a tip like this every day.
00:24:16There is no reason why we shouldn't.
00:24:19Do you know what he said to me?
00:24:21He said to me, if you want something, go out and get it.
00:24:26Any way you can.
00:24:28He said it.
00:24:30I didn't.
00:24:31So he's only got himself to blame for what happens next.
00:24:35Next?
00:24:35What's been done once can be done again and again.
00:24:40Steady on, Mrs. Craig.
00:24:41I mean, I don't know what...
00:24:42Do you know these people?
00:24:44Well, of course.
00:24:45These are household names in the city.
00:24:47Property tycoons, investment trusts, watching machines.
00:24:50These are some of the smartest operators that are.
00:24:53But you don't work for them, do you?
00:24:55No.
00:24:56But I know the ladies who do.
00:25:06I'm not having nobody telling me where I'm going to live.
00:25:09And the only way to stop them pushing us around is to fight them.
00:25:16What with?
00:25:17Where are we going to get the money?
00:25:18Where everybody else gets it from.
00:25:20We are going to make it.
00:25:21Make it?
00:25:22How?
00:25:23Out of bits of waste paper that we find lying about in the offices, what we clean.
00:25:28Oh, I don't think that would be much good, Mrs. Craig.
00:25:31Mum had 200 copies of Ravalli she wanted me to sell them.
00:25:34When I took them to the fish shop, they only gave me a shilling.
00:25:36Do you mind?
00:25:37We are not going to sell this waste paper.
00:25:40We are going to make use of it for information.
00:25:44Information?
00:25:47There is lots of information to be had from waste paper baskets, blotters, writing pads and such like.
00:25:54But we do nothing dishonest, understand?
00:25:57Nothing that isn't strictly legal.
00:25:59What Mrs. Craig means is we only make use of material which is in the public domain.
00:26:07Things that have been thrown away or left lying around for anyone to see.
00:26:11No opening of drawers or prized private letters, if you know what I mean.
00:26:17I don't know what you mean. I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
00:26:20We just pick up anything what looks interesting and hand it over to the Colonel.
00:26:25It'll be my job to examine and evaluate the contents.
00:26:29Oh dear.
00:26:29And acting on the information, evaluated, we buy stocks and shares and such like.
00:26:37What with?
00:26:38With money of course. What the hell do you usually buy things with?
00:26:42You can't make money without money. What could we raise?
00:26:46We'd be lucky to put up 40 quid between the lot of us.
00:26:49We shall start with a modest capital of 5,000 pounds.
00:26:53Oh.
00:26:54Did I hear you say? 5,000?
00:26:575,000 is what Mrs. Craig and I made this week from one piece of information from one waste paper
00:27:03basket.
00:27:06Oh, I'm sorry. My abbey would never...
00:27:08I mean, we've always been a respectable family. I couldn't be a party to anything like that.
00:27:13But why not, madam? It's perfectly legal.
00:27:15It couldn't be. Not like Bingo or the football pools.
00:27:18But it's exactly like the football pools, except that we know the results beforehand.
00:27:22Does that satisfy you, Mrs...
00:27:24Merriweather?
00:27:26I suppose, sir.
00:27:27The stock exchange is a cankerous growth on the dying body of capitalism.
00:27:31A slave market for the buying and selling of the workers.
00:27:35After the revolution, there won't be no stock exchange.
00:27:38Now, do leave off about the perishing revolution.
00:27:42Are you coming in or stopping out?
00:27:45Well?
00:27:46Well, seeing the revolution don't seem to be happening yet a while, all right.
00:27:51Here, but don't you forget.
00:27:53It's against me principles to make money out of the exploitation of the workers.
00:27:57Very well, then.
00:27:57I'll set about forming the company and finding us some office premises.
00:28:02And don't forget, absolute secrecy is essential.
00:28:04A careless word to a husband or a fellow char...
00:28:08I mean, office cleaner and, well, need I go on?
00:28:12Well, if you're sure it's all right.
00:28:14Well, of course it's all right.
00:28:15Good heavens, there's nothing to prevent any of you ladies being accepted into the Salvation Army.
00:28:20Now, there are only two things to remember.
00:28:23You may be able to obtain useful information from other ladies in your profession.
00:28:27Pick their brains by all means, don't confide in them.
00:28:30And remember, however well we do, we shall all of us have to go on being charladies.
00:28:35I mean, of course, I shall have...
00:28:37Any question?
00:28:40Yes.
00:28:40Yes.
00:28:42I'm sure it's a wonderful organisation.
00:28:45I don't want to join.
00:28:49You want to join us?
00:28:50Why not?
00:28:51I want to join you.
00:28:52I don't want to join the Salvation Army.
00:28:55It's them acts.
00:29:10Oh, I'll run yours down for a damage.
00:29:12No, it's all right, I'll do it.
00:29:12No, don't bother, Mrs. Isley.
00:29:14It's no bother.
00:29:16Two's as easy as one.
00:29:36Good morning, Mrs. Harris.
00:29:38Good morning, Miss.
00:29:40Good morning, Miss.
00:29:41Good morning, Miss.
00:29:42Good morning, Miss.
00:29:42Good morning, Miss.
00:29:43Good morning, Miss.
00:29:43Good morning, Miss.
00:29:43Good morning, Miss.
00:29:44It's all clear.
00:29:46Good morning, Miss.
00:29:49Good morning, Miss.
00:29:51Good morning, Miss.
00:29:52Good morning, Miss.
00:29:52Good morning, Miss.
00:29:53Good morning, Miss.
00:29:54Good morning, Miss.
00:29:54Good morning, Miss.
00:29:55Good morning, Miss.
00:29:55Good morning, Miss.
00:30:0432, 33, that's it.
00:30:07Oh, no, can't, but that looks foreign.
00:30:11Perhaps it's 53.
00:30:1353.
00:30:17Oh, come along, ladies.
00:30:18You're late.
00:30:20How do you expect us to find the place
00:30:23when you've got that Lardy Zulu on the door?
00:30:26Not very bright, are we?
00:30:27That's our name.
00:30:28Ladies who do.
00:30:30Ladies who do.
00:30:33Oh, yes, very comical.
00:30:37Caw!
00:30:39This must be costing us a bomb.
00:30:41Well, it's one of the finest addresses in the city.
00:30:43Naturally, it's not cheap.
00:30:45How much?
00:30:46Well, including the rates, the central heating,
00:30:50and, of course, the lift, it comes to...
00:30:52Duff!
00:30:53Don't tell me.
00:30:54It'll spoil me day.
00:30:55Well, ladies, welcome to the first board meeting
00:30:58of Ladies Who Do Limited.
00:31:01I see you've all brought your basic material with you.
00:31:04Now, remember, information is the source of all wealth,
00:31:07and hidden in these shopping bags
00:31:08is the information we need.
00:31:10All we have to do is to sift and sort and sift again.
00:31:14Naturally, there'll be a lot of rubbish,
00:31:16but among the rubbish will be what we're looking for,
00:31:18glittering, shining gold.
00:31:22Well, now, have any of you ladies any questions?
00:31:25Well, shall we get on with the business?
00:31:26l4o0t
00:31:39l4o0t
00:31:57Excuse me, I'm his lady cleaner.
00:32:01Am I his what? Certainly not. I'm his wife.
00:32:11But I only... Well, you said to develop contacts.
00:32:16I meant with fellow office cleaners, not the wives of our national leaders.
00:32:24Well, now, ladies, I have to report very satisfactory progress.
00:32:28Our cash balance now stands at £26,007, six shillings and fourpence-half.
00:32:33Yes, on paper.
00:32:49Goya.
00:32:50What on earth are you doing, Mrs. Crag?
00:32:52Oh, morning, miss. Still cold.
00:32:55I said, what are you doing, Mrs. Crag?
00:32:59A mosquito. Places teeming with them. It's the central heating.
00:33:04It isn't on.
00:33:05Er, no, that's just the point. It's cold outside, so they come inside looking for the warmth.
00:33:13When they can't find it, they try to get out again, mistake the mirror for the window and get stuck
00:33:18on the glass.
00:33:20Guess what I found in my toilet?
00:33:22A mosquito!
00:33:24That's right, a dirty great mosquito.
00:33:29See, the place is teeming with them.
00:33:44He's done it again.
00:33:51He's done it again.
00:34:01Well, this means he's nearly doubled his capital again.
00:34:07Why didn't I buy any of the wretched things?
00:34:12That'll be all.
00:34:41Well, gentlemen, we've all been hit by this thing.
00:34:45I'm getting so jumpy, I don't even trust myself.
00:34:51What we want to know is, who is this Whitforth fellow?
00:34:56Where does he get his information?
00:34:57He seems to be able to anticipate every move I make.
00:35:01Gentlemen, has it occurred to you that he may be an agent?
00:35:06What the hell for?
00:35:08Some foreign power who shall remain nameless.
00:35:10Oh, not them again. Oh, my God.
00:35:13Mr. Ryder, perhaps you have a better explanation.
00:35:15Perhaps he's psychic.
00:35:17Spiritualists say that the power of transferring thought...
00:35:19I'm interested in a pile of transferring shares.
00:35:22Now, let's get down the cases.
00:35:24Take this Waldron business.
00:35:26I hadn't discussed it with a soul, living or dead.
00:35:29Not even my partner.
00:35:31It was all in my mind.
00:35:33Do you talk in your sleep?
00:35:35I'm not married.
00:35:40I expect you're wondering why I've called this special meeting.
00:35:43Well, two pieces of information have recently come into our possession.
00:35:47Neither of them of much importance alone, but together.
00:35:50Well, let me explain.
00:35:51On the one hand, we know that the shares of an Irish concern, Pig Producers Limited, have fallen.
00:35:57Apparently, they're having marketing difficulty.
00:36:00Your scribbling pad, Mrs. Higgins.
00:36:03On the other hand, your blotting paper, Mrs. Craig.
00:36:07Cash and Carry Supermarkets, one of the largest in the country,
00:36:10has bought land within five miles of pig producers.
00:36:13They are planning to open a bacon-curing factory.
00:36:16This will send the shares of Pig Producers Limited rocketing.
00:36:20That makes sense.
00:36:22Well, what's on your mind, Colonel?
00:36:24I suggest we go for the killing.
00:36:26Put the lot on pig producers.
00:36:28The lot?
00:36:30Well, it's taking a hell of a risk, isn't it?
00:36:32Well, of course it's a risk, but we might wait a lifetime to get two bits of information like this.
00:36:37Putting money on pigs.
00:36:39It's like putting money on horses, innit?
00:36:42Well, I don't see why.
00:36:43I mean, after all, the pigs are there.
00:36:45They're going to build the factory.
00:36:46The shares must double.
00:36:48If it comes off, we shall have £120,000 in the kitty.
00:36:54Well, ladies, shall we vote on it?
00:36:56Those in favour?
00:36:58Well, I can't sit here all day.
00:37:00I've got me ironing to do.
00:37:03I always did fancy a bit of Irish bacon myself.
00:37:07I might as well be hung for a pig as a lamb.
00:37:09What are we voting for?
00:37:13Pigs!
00:37:15Carried unanimously.
00:37:39We can get them in a signing and undertaking and move straight away.
00:37:42It's worth paying them under a quid each.
00:37:43Well, I don't like it, Jim.
00:37:44I don't like it.
00:37:45I mean, legally, they're in the right.
00:37:46Oh, go blind.
00:37:48Here we go again.
00:37:49Can't you understand?
00:37:51Unless we get moving right away, we're going to have to borrow money at 50% to pay back a
00:37:5540% loan.
00:37:57Jim!
00:37:57Jim!
00:37:58You...
00:38:02I can't understand these people round here.
00:38:06They'd be much better off in one of those new towns.
00:38:09Like that one we passed through on the Great North Road the other week.
00:38:14Marvellous.
00:38:15And another thing.
00:38:16I'm surprised at you, a working man.
00:38:18A lick spittle for the capitalist bosses.
00:38:21And look at you.
00:38:21Not an ounce of flesh on you, probably weeks since you had a square meal.
00:38:24What did you have for your dinner?
00:38:25If you had any dinner.
00:38:27I'm asking you, what did you have for your dinner?
00:38:28I'm trying to tell you.
00:38:30As a matter of fact, I didn't have any.
00:38:31No, of course, you didn't.
00:38:33And what about your bosses, eh?
00:38:35Look at them sitting there stuffing themselves with goose and caviar.
00:38:38Yeah, well, you go and tell them that the bourgeois and proletarian blood
00:38:42all mingle in the gutters of the Charing Cross Road before they get us out of here.
00:38:46Go on.
00:38:46Oh, tell them.
00:38:53Go on.
00:38:54Try one.
00:38:55I think you'll find them very nice.
00:38:57Try.
00:38:59Oh, is it clear?
00:39:01Oh.
00:39:02We have to put the hole in, don't we?
00:39:04Oh.
00:39:05Ah.
00:39:06Mrs. Gubbins?
00:39:07Oh, yes.
00:39:10You have arrived just in time to see your husband receive the sum of 100 pounds, eh?
00:39:16Oh, whatever for?
00:39:17Sure.
00:39:17All you have to do is to sign this undertaking to move within the next month.
00:39:23Oh, we couldn't do that, I'm afraid.
00:39:25Why don't you shut up?
00:39:28And, er, let the gentleman finish.
00:39:30Now.
00:39:32Your sign?
00:39:33Uh-huh.
00:39:35A wise decision, Mr. Gubbins.
00:39:38One I'm sure you won't regret.
00:39:40I'm sure I won't, neither.
00:39:48You see, uh, Will was moving out next week, anyway.
00:39:51Cut off.
00:39:52Okay.
00:39:57Good.
00:40:06Good afternoon, madam.
00:40:07We don't want any today, thank you.
00:40:09Oh, yes, you do, madam.
00:40:11Believe me, you do.
00:40:12If you wake my husband before he's finished his laydown, he'll kill you.
00:40:15Oh, not when he knows what I've come for.
00:40:17What have you come for?
00:40:19To give you 100 pounds.
00:40:22100 pounds?
00:40:24100 pounds.
00:40:28My husband don't want to move.
00:40:28Shhh.
00:40:29What ever for?
00:40:31As you know, these houses are being pulled down to make way for new blocks of offices.
00:40:37Now, my firm are very anxious to get started as soon as possible.
00:40:41Now, all you have to do is to sign this form here, stating that you are prepared to leave
00:40:46the house within the month, and I shall give you 100 pounds.
00:40:49My husband don't want to move.
00:40:51He said so only the other day.
00:40:53It's not a question of what he wants to do.
00:40:55It's not a question of what he wants to do.
00:40:57It's a question of what he's got to have to do.
00:40:59Now, we have the law on our side, Mrs. Merriweather, and the council.
00:41:03Dear, you put the councilman in hospital last year.
00:41:07Now, look.
00:41:08Now, look, Mrs. Merriweather.
00:41:09I'm being as nice as I possibly can about this.
00:41:12He's got a question of what he wants to do.
00:41:13Now, we've got the law on our side.
00:41:15We'll have to get your husband to see reason.
00:41:17Otherwise, I'm afraid that I shall...
00:41:18Otherwise, you're what?
00:41:21You're lucky.
00:41:22I'm in a good mood today.
00:41:24So I'm going to explain something to you.
00:41:26Yes, yes, of course.
00:41:27We ain't going to move.
00:41:28No, no.
00:41:29Quite the matter.
00:41:29Not for nobody.
00:41:31No, no.
00:41:32And if you come back here annoying me and my little missus, I'll splatter you all over that ball.
00:41:38Do you understand?
00:41:39You make yourself abundantly clear, sir.
00:41:45Come back here again and I'll break your neck.
00:41:57What's this?
00:41:58Tea, silly.
00:42:00What do you think it was?
00:42:01I wouldn't say what I thought it was, but it isn't tea.
00:42:05Warm dishwater more like.
00:42:07Mine tasted all right.
00:42:10Perhaps you like tepid water.
00:42:12Some people prefer theirs boiled.
00:42:15It was boiled.
00:42:17You heard the whistle.
00:42:19It doesn't matter what I heard.
00:42:20It's what I taste that counts.
00:42:22This water wasn't boiled.
00:42:25Go and boil your head.
00:42:29God may forgive you for that, but I won't.
00:42:32Never.
00:42:33Not if I live to be a hundred.
00:42:36But, but, but she's, she's lived here sixty years.
00:42:38She's over eighty.
00:42:40It'd kill her to move.
00:42:41She's very frail.
00:42:43Oh, how frail?
00:42:44Well, I mean, one doesn't like to think of such things, but how long will the poor old, hmm?
00:42:51Do you think?
00:42:52Well, it's difficult to say.
00:42:54Her mother, my gran, lived to be hundred and four.
00:42:57Hundred and four.
00:42:58Hundred and four?
00:43:00That's twenty-four years.
00:43:01Now, look, Miss Parrish, we're starting on the site right away.
00:43:04It's for her own good, you know.
00:43:06I mean, all these old houses round here are gonna be torn down.
00:43:09There'll be bulldozers and dynamite and, and dust.
00:43:12It'll be like the blitz all over again.
00:43:15Oh, she loved the blitz.
00:43:17She was never happier than when the bombs were falling.
00:43:19She'd, she'd look out of her window and she'd shake her fist and, and...
00:43:22Miss Parrish, if people aren't reasonable with us, we can take it to the court.
00:43:27And let the judge decide.
00:43:29Oh, dear.
00:43:30I'm sure...
00:43:31Quite right.
00:43:31You are sure that any court will say that a nice modern flat is better than a dusty old relic
00:43:37like this.
00:43:39Let me talk to her.
00:43:41I'm quite sure I can make her see the wisdom of it.
00:43:45Well, we can about try.
00:43:50Oh, dear!
00:43:51I've never been suggested like that.
00:43:52Now, go on!
00:43:53Get out of my house!
00:43:54Get out and stay out!
00:43:55Hey!
00:43:58Parrish.
00:43:59Better mark that one, er, Dartford.
00:44:04How you doing?
00:44:05How am I doing?
00:44:07Would you rather like to know?
00:44:09I've just been dragged through the Kremlin backwards and bounced by a bruiser.
00:44:13Well, I got one signature.
00:44:14A bit of a struggle, but I, er, finally persuaded him.
00:44:17One?
00:44:18What is the good of one?
00:44:19You've got to get the last one before you can start work here.
00:44:22And do you know what she just said?
00:44:24She said the gutters will be flowing with blood before they leave here.
00:44:27I think she's right.
00:44:28Don't tell me you're worried about a few old scrubbers.
00:44:31You're forgetting there's a fortune in this deal and half it's yours.
00:44:34Nearly half.
00:44:35No, Jimmy boy.
00:44:37It's all yours because I am going back to the office to dissolve the partnership before
00:44:42you have to borrow money at 60% to repay the money you borrowed at 50% to pay back
00:44:47the
00:44:4740% loan.
00:44:49Sid?
00:44:49Sid?
00:44:51Ow, yellow legs!
00:45:09Good morning.
00:45:13The morning?
00:45:16I expect you were wondering why I spent the night here.
00:45:16Oh...
00:45:24I expect you were wondering why I spent the night here.
00:45:38I was waiting for you.
00:45:46What's in the flask?
00:45:48Tea.
00:45:50Any spare drop?
00:45:52Help yourself.
00:45:53I've got a throat like an axle.
00:45:58I've been celebrating rags to riches in 15 years.
00:46:07Yeah, that's the truth to know.
00:46:09I started out buying rags.
00:46:11Did you know that?
00:46:13My partner reckons I'm going back again.
00:46:15My ex-partner, I should say.
00:46:18He's walked out and taken his share of the capital with him.
00:46:23Does that mean you'll be giving up Pitt Street?
00:46:27None, you're Nelly.
00:46:28Well, if you're that skinned, how can you go on with that great big office building?
00:46:38Come here.
00:46:42Don't let high finance baffle your girl.
00:46:46It's dead simple.
00:46:47The secret is in using other people's money.
00:46:53The building contractor cuts himself in for a share of the profits, so he works for nothing.
00:46:58I sell the office blocks, floor by floor, in advance.
00:47:03So I've had a huge profit before I've even got the foundations in.
00:47:07Oh, that's clever, isn't it?
00:47:10When it comes off.
00:47:11No, thanks.
00:47:12I'd rather smag me on.
00:47:13Go on, treat yourself.
00:47:15Do you good.
00:47:16Ciao.
00:47:20I'll be frank with you.
00:47:23Unless I can get to work on Pitt Street, I'll have to sell the whole site at a thumping great
00:47:28loss.
00:47:29One minute up to my neck.
00:47:33If I'm going to save anything out of this mess, I'm going to have to get to work on Pitt
00:47:36Street.
00:47:38Look, Ma, you can help me.
00:47:41How?
00:47:42There's 500 quid in it for you.
00:47:44500?
00:47:45For doing what?
00:47:47Nothing.
00:47:48You told me yourself that nobody gives you anything for nothing.
00:47:53Practically nothing.
00:47:55All you've got to do is persuade to sit in tennis to sign on the dotted line by Monday morning.
00:48:02A dozen.
00:48:03That's my top.
00:48:06Now, don't tell me you couldn't do with it.
00:48:08I'll bet you ain't got two acenies to scratch yourself with.
00:48:13You don't understand, do you?
00:48:16We don't want to move.
00:48:19Then you don't understand.
00:48:21Somebody sometime is going to go ahead with a scheme down there, even if I don't.
00:48:25So why fight it?
00:48:27So cash in.
00:48:28Do yourself a bit of good.
00:48:30What good will it do me to sell me friends?
00:48:33There's one thing that money can't buy, and that's friends.
00:48:37No.
00:48:38I reckon we'll just stick, won't we, huh?
00:48:40All right, all right.
00:48:42I'm going to have to do it the hard way.
00:48:47Spicey fags out.
00:48:50Spicey fags it.
00:48:52Some nut of a gem with the wrong number.
00:48:54Hey, you were saying what you was going to do.
00:48:58Was I?
00:48:59Don't worry about it, Ma.
00:49:02You'll find out soon enough.
00:49:12Thanks for the thing.
00:49:28Hello.
00:49:30That James Ryder.
00:49:31Sir, this is Mark Strang.
00:49:33I've spoken to my associates.
00:49:35We're prepared to come in with you on the Pitch Street project, but we'd have to start right away.
00:49:40We don't want our capital tied up indefinitely.
00:49:42The contractors are starting on the empty houses first thing Monday morning.
00:49:46Is that soon enough?
00:49:47Yes.
00:49:48I'll be frank with you, Ryder.
00:49:50A little dicky bird told us you had some trouble down there.
00:49:53A few old bags being difficult.
00:49:56I can handle them.
00:49:57Don't you worry.
00:49:58I hope so, because if there's any trouble at all, you can count us out.
00:50:02Oh, there's the pips.
00:50:03I'll be down first thing Monday morning.
00:50:07Did I hear voices?
00:50:09I was singing.
00:50:13And then the supervisor come in and I have to switch it off.
00:50:16Yes, it's all very interesting, but I don't see how it helps your situation.
00:50:20You see, even if you make things difficult for Mr Strang and he drops out, somebody else will step in
00:50:24and buy it.
00:50:25Yes, we will.
00:50:26What did you say?
00:50:27I said we'll buy it.
00:50:29Whatever for?
00:50:30What can we do with it?
00:50:32Look, if Ryder can get permission to build offices, we can get permission to put up two blocks of flats
00:50:39with shops underneath.
00:50:40They'll let like hotcakes.
00:50:42But we haven't got the capital.
00:50:44We will have, when the pig producer's deal comes through.
00:50:47I'm afraid you don't know what you're saying.
00:50:49I know exactly what I'm saying.
00:50:52Look, supposing we did buy the area, that would leave us with not a penny in the bank, right?
00:50:57Right.
00:50:57But how are we going to get the money to put up two blocks of flats?
00:51:00I don't know how much you know about high finance.
00:51:04It's not a question of high finance.
00:51:05It's a question of simple arithmetic.
00:51:07The secret is to use other people's money.
00:51:11We cut the contractors in for a share of the profits so they work for nothing.
00:51:15Then we let off the flats before even the foundations is laid.
00:51:20All we've got to do now is to wait for the pigs to bring home the bacon.
00:51:25Just a moment.
00:51:28Hello, Colonel Whitforth speaking.
00:51:30Roderick, yes?
00:51:30Oh, hello, Roderick.
00:51:32Roderick, I hear you helped yourself to some of those pig producer shares.
00:51:36Wise fellow, always follow them.
00:51:37Wise fellow, have you heard the news?
00:51:39What news?
00:51:39They've gone bust.
00:51:40Are you sure?
00:51:52Colonel, what is it?
00:51:54What's wrong?
00:51:55Swine fever.
00:51:57Not our pigs.
00:51:59They haven't passed away.
00:52:02All 15,000.
00:52:04Where is our capital then?
00:52:06Gone.
00:52:07All gone.
00:52:08Oh, marvellous.
00:52:08That's a fine way.
00:52:09What did I tell you?
00:52:10I told you we shouldn't risk our lot on it.
00:52:12There he goes.
00:52:13Hold up!
00:52:15Hold up!
00:52:17Listen to me, all of you.
00:52:19The colonel here pointed to the vote, and we all voted.
00:52:23So it's no good blaming him, and it's no good blaming one another.
00:52:28After all, it's not as though we saw the money.
00:52:32It was only writing on bits of paper.
00:52:35Somehow it don't seem so important to me.
00:52:39But what is important is we can't stop Ryder pulling Pitt Street down on Monday.
00:52:45Yeah, finance.
00:52:48It's a funny business.
00:52:52Ten minutes ago, we had 15,000 pigs.
00:52:56Now we haven't got a ham sandwich between us.
00:53:15Oh, no, Dad, doof.
00:53:24Oh, well, that's that, then.
00:53:26Let's have a nice cup of tea.
00:53:28Now, I told you big business would beat you in the end.
00:54:15Wait.
00:54:16Wait.
00:54:19Don't tell me they've started on my place already.
00:54:22I'll tell them a thing or two.
00:54:25Colonel, what brings you round here?
00:54:27Important news, ladies.
00:54:29Colonel, whatever has happened?
00:54:32Don't tell me them pigs have come back to life again.
00:54:34Better than that. This has just come through on the ticker tape.
00:54:39Large deposit. Valuable minerals found in Ireland.
00:54:44They discovered the deposit when they were burying the pigs.
00:54:47Causing heavy speculation in pig producers' shares.
00:54:53Yeah. Does this mean we'll get our capital back?
00:54:55Almost certainly. That and a great deal more.
00:54:59Petty it had to happen too late to save the stream.
00:55:02Yeah. Maybe it isn't too late.
00:55:05Do you remember what Mr Strang said?
00:55:08He said, if there is going to be any trouble, I am getting out.
00:55:15So we are going to see that he gets plenty of trouble, aren't we?
00:55:25Colonel, you go back and look after that contraption of yours
00:55:30and leave us to look after Mr Ryder and Mr Strang.
00:55:35Ladies.
00:55:41Shall we take your car and mine?
00:55:42It'll have to be yours, I'm afraid.
00:55:45My Rolls is away having a second telephone installed.
00:55:48Not to sell it, have you?
00:56:04This little bus has done me very well for 17 years.
00:56:07So I don't see the sense in wasting my brass on Rolls Royces.
00:56:13Mind my anvil.
00:56:16Here, look out. Here comes Big Ed.
00:56:26Righto, lads. This is it.
00:56:29I've got you again, eh?
00:56:30All right, lads. These are the houses we're going to knock down.
00:56:33Starting, of course, with the empty ones.
00:56:35Don't want to make any mistakes about them, do we?
00:56:40Six, eight, thirteen, fifteen, eighteen, and twenty-two.
00:56:43That's the one in the air there, righto.
00:56:44Come on, lads. Get the compressor going.
00:56:46Get the gear up, truck.
00:56:47Come on, let's be having you.
00:56:49Let's be having you.
00:56:52I just cannae understand it.
00:56:55From her heartbeat, I'd say she'd live another twenty years,
00:56:58but I can find absolutely nothing wrong with her.
00:57:01But there it is.
00:57:03Sometimes these old people know best.
00:57:05They know when the time has come to pass on.
00:57:09How true.
00:57:11How very true.
00:57:13She must have absolute quiet, of course.
00:57:16I'll bring her round something to make her sleep later on.
00:57:19In the meantime, give her anything she fancies.
00:57:22Anything she fancies?
00:57:24Within reason.
00:57:24A drop of thin gruel, of a weak tear.
00:57:30Poor soul.
00:57:31I'm going.
00:57:32I know I'm going.
00:57:35Don't forget.
00:57:37Absolute quiet.
00:57:40Oh, the noise.
00:57:51Do you hear me?
00:57:58Would you mind explaining what the hell you think you're trying to do?
00:58:01Do you realize that...
00:58:02And do you realize there's a dear old lady dying in that house?
00:58:07Dying?
00:58:08Yes, dying.
00:58:09You've heard of it, I suppose.
00:58:10Oh, yes.
00:58:11Well, if you start up your damn machinery before she...
00:58:16Anyway, if you start it up, I'll have the authorities on ye.
00:58:23Well, I...
00:58:24I was only trying to get the work done, eh?
00:58:26How would you like it if it was your poor old mother lying up there, breathing her last?
00:58:33Poor dear old lady.
00:58:36Lying there, wandering in her mind.
00:58:40Terrified, thinking the air raids have started all over again.
00:58:46I don't know what to do.
00:58:48I can only suggest one course of action.
00:58:50What's that?
00:58:51We'll have to have a meeting, won't we?
00:58:53Right, brothers?
00:58:54Right.
00:58:55Come on, let's go.
00:59:09Right, brothers, I see we have a quorum.
00:59:12Now, I needn't prevail upon you to show your cards.
00:59:14I think we'll go straight ahead with the, uh...
00:59:17Would you close in a little bit, brothers?
00:59:18We have a spy on the outside of our little community here.
00:59:22Now.
00:59:25That's Ryder.
00:59:27Now, look.
00:59:28That must be Strang.
00:59:31There's one.
00:59:32We're all in the queue.
00:59:33There we go.
00:59:33Right, right.
00:59:34Hands up, then.
00:59:35Must be that tea break.
00:59:38Oi!
00:59:39What's going on here?
00:59:40Who's the foreman?
00:59:41Shh.
00:59:42I am the foreman, sir.
00:59:45Why aren't you all men working?
00:59:48Why aren't you all men working?
00:59:49What the hell's going on here?
00:59:50Be quiet!
00:59:53I'll tell you what it's all about.
00:59:56There's a poor old lady lying in there, sick and dying.
01:00:00And these gentlemen have kindly agreed to stop work.
01:00:08Kindly agreed to stop?
01:00:10Yeah, and we held a meeting.
01:00:13And this resolution was passed unanimously.
01:00:18This meeting seriously deprecates the derogatory effect on the old lady's health
01:00:21and unanimously decides to adjourn work until status quo reigns.
01:00:25Are you talking about old mother Parrish?
01:00:28You couldn't have a derogatory effect on her health if you ran over her with a bulldozer.
01:00:32Don't listen to him!
01:00:35Here's the poor old lady's daughter.
01:00:38How old is your mother, dear?
01:00:4081.
01:00:41Did you hear that?
01:00:42Did you hear that?
01:00:4481!
01:00:46Isn't she entitled to a little peace and quiet?
01:00:50Lying there so frail and weak.
01:00:53Frail and weak?
01:00:54She wasn't frail and weak when I saw her.
01:00:56She went into a rapid decline.
01:00:58Rapid decline, huh?
01:01:01Ah, if she's so sick, she should be in an hospital.
01:01:07I'll send for an ambulance at my own expense.
01:01:09She's too weak.
01:01:10She can't be moved.
01:01:11This is a frame-up.
01:01:13Can't you see what she's doing?
01:01:14She's trying to stop you pulling down the houses.
01:01:18Have you actually seen the old bird?
01:01:21No, no, I haven't actually seen her.
01:01:24Of course you haven't.
01:01:26Well, why don't you ask if you can see her?
01:01:30After all, it's going to cost your firm a lot of money when I sue, isn't it?
01:01:35Yes, well, I mean, like, it wouldn't do any harm, would it?
01:01:39I mean, like, just to have a look.
01:01:41All right, then.
01:01:42Just a look.
01:01:44But remember, she's unconscious.
01:01:47Well, she's unconscious.
01:01:48The noise can't be worrying her.
01:01:49She's unconscious from time to time!
01:01:53Would you step this way, please?
01:01:58Now, Mother, you sure you know what to do?
01:02:01Of course I know what to do.
01:02:02I've seen more people snuff it than the rest of this Derrishin street put together.
01:02:06I must ask you to keep very, very quiet, please.
01:02:10If you'll come this way.
01:02:13Here they come.
01:02:26Poor old soul.
01:02:30How long do you think?
01:02:32She might linger for days.
01:02:39There he is.
01:02:40That's him.
01:02:43I'll throw him out once, and I'll throw him out again.
01:02:48Get out of my house, all of you.
01:02:51Get out!
01:02:57I told you to stop out of my house, and I meant it!
01:03:02I'll throw him out of my house, and I'll throw him out of my house.
01:03:03Get out of my house!
01:03:05Get out of my house, and I'll throw him out of my house.
01:03:06I'm going.
01:03:07She hasn't even got her hand in yet.
01:03:09I will.
01:03:10You, stop me!
01:03:13See what I mean.
01:03:18What do we do now?
01:03:19It's 11 o'clock.
01:03:21She'll either get tired or run out of ammunition soon.
01:03:27Bringing up the heavy artillery, eh?
01:03:29You won't get me out of my house in a million years.
01:03:33Not in a million trillion years.
01:03:42Take more than a bulldozer to put that old battle axe under the ground, right?
01:03:46I'll talk to the men.
01:03:48Yet, what happened?
01:03:50She wrecked the old perishing thing, that's what happened.
01:03:52Yeah.
01:03:53Everything was going fine until she caught Sartarada.
01:03:56Then she went, start raving, blowing mad.
01:03:59Well, I'll, er, phone the police.
01:04:03Decide if a couple of bobbies will knock some sense into them.
01:04:06Oh, believe me, once this thing gets rolling, nothing will stop it.
01:04:09Absolutely nothing.
01:04:11All right, I'll give you till noon.
01:04:18Council of War in my house, come on.
01:04:21Yeah, well, I reckon they made proper charlies out of us.
01:04:23They're from me.
01:04:24Well, well, sir, we passed this resolution.
01:04:28This meeting deplores the diabolical liberties taken
01:04:30and applies non-ratification to the resolution taken by the previous meeting
01:04:34and declares that a status quo now reigns.
01:04:37What the hell does all that mean?
01:04:39What does it mean?
01:04:40It means that we go back to work.
01:04:43Wonderful, marvellous.
01:04:44After a tea break.
01:04:46Come on, Mr. T.
01:04:47What do they want a tea break for?
01:04:49They haven't done anything yet.
01:04:50Haven't done anything?
01:04:52They've been on the clock since eight.
01:04:54Look, I'll pay them to work through the tea break.
01:04:57Work through?
01:04:58They can't do that.
01:04:59That would be creating a precedent.
01:05:04Now, what's the matter?
01:05:05Oh, the men are having a tea break.
01:05:07This is where I came in.
01:05:09No, not quite.
01:05:10The men are up in mad.
01:05:12Well, you'll see, you'll see.
01:05:13They went out and had their tea.
01:05:15The women will wish they'd never started this.
01:05:18That makes two of us.
01:05:21And they've gone to phone the police.
01:05:22Oh.
01:05:23So they've called in the police now, have they?
01:05:26Well, what can we do?
01:05:27We can't fight the old metropolitan police force.
01:05:29Oh, yes, we can if we have to.
01:05:32So no more despondent talk, if you don't mind.
01:05:35Well, what about the machines?
01:05:36What about when they start using them?
01:05:38What about it?
01:05:39We'll have to stop them, won't we?
01:05:40I saw a picture once about the French resistance.
01:05:43They didn't do so badly against the old German army.
01:05:46There's more than four of them.
01:05:47There'll be more than four of us by the time I'm finished.
01:05:49Now, Ali, I want you to deliver these to all the people in the street
01:05:54just as quickly as you can.
01:05:55Do I understand you wish to bring a charge of assault against poor old Mrs. Parrish?
01:06:00I don't wish to bring a charge against anybody.
01:06:02I've got some very hard men working here.
01:06:04I'm warning you there might be more trouble.
01:06:06Still, sir, I don't see what harm they could do to a bulldozer.
01:06:08You don't know these old dragons, mate!
01:06:11Now, listen, I'm telling you straight.
01:06:13If there is any more trouble, and there are no police around,
01:06:16I shall make out a report and see if it gets to the right quarters.
01:06:27Take this round Albertson Street, quick as you can.
01:06:29Right.
01:06:32Come on, lads, let's be avenue. Come along now.
01:06:34Right, though, get the compressor started.
01:06:36Now, then, I want you to get all them flagstones up to get the bulldozer in.
01:06:44Don't strain yourself, will you?
01:06:46Now.
01:06:47They're not hopping very fast, are they?
01:06:49You know the British workman.
01:06:51Loses every battle but the last.
01:06:53Does he?
01:06:58Come on, girls.
01:07:00Let's get out there and remember, behave absolutely normal
01:07:04and don't do nothing illegal.
01:07:06And if you do, don't get caught.
01:07:08Come on.
01:07:23Morning, Mrs. Frank.
01:07:24Good morning, all.
01:07:25Morning.
01:07:26Off you go.
01:07:27Good.
01:07:32Rose!
01:07:33No.
01:07:34Rose!
01:07:35That's her.
01:07:36Thanks.
01:07:36See, bumping into you like this.
01:07:38I haven't seen you in ages.
01:07:39Neither have you.
01:07:40Not since my operation.
01:07:42That's right.
01:07:42Excuse me, ladies.
01:07:43Well, now, I come over queer on the Wednesday.
01:07:47No, wait.
01:07:48Wait, I'm a liar.
01:07:49It was the Tuesday.
01:07:50The Tuesday.
01:07:51Oh, I was poor.
01:07:52Well, I can tell you look peaky now.
01:07:54I see you, yes.
01:07:55I've never got over it, you know.
01:07:57No.
01:07:57Yes.
01:07:58You go down there and stop that shovel thing.
01:08:01Go on.
01:08:02Right now.
01:08:02You and you go down there and make a nuisance of yourself now.
01:08:06Where the hell are those felice got to?
01:08:17Could you tell me where I can find Mr. Ryder?
01:08:19You have found him.
01:08:22What appears to be the matter, sir?
01:08:27Saunders?
01:08:27Sir.
01:08:29Ask those women, ladies, to move out of the way of the shovel, will you?
01:08:32Yes, sir.
01:08:40Come's the Friday.
01:08:42Back, I'll go into hospital again.
01:08:44Again.
01:08:44Yeah, the ambulance come at one.
01:08:46Yeah.
01:08:47And at two, they was getting me ready for the table.
01:08:51When I saw the engine, I thought...
01:08:53Ladies, would you mind, please?
01:08:53Hello, my girl.
01:08:55If you wouldn't mind.
01:08:56You've been up to something.
01:08:58Look at yourself.
01:08:59Butter, melt in her mouth.
01:09:00A little further, ladies, please.
01:09:03Come on.
01:09:04I'm telling you, I'm on a strike.
01:09:09Hey, get out of it!
01:09:13Well, when they'd sewn me up and I'd come round, the doctor told me I was lucky to be alive
01:09:19to tell the tale.
01:09:20Oh, how awful.
01:09:21Yeah.
01:09:22Five hours I was laying on that...
01:09:24Now, ladies, I'm afraid you're going to get hurt if you'll stay here.
01:09:27Did they ever find out what it was, then?
01:09:29Yeah.
01:09:30You all right, son?
01:09:31You don't look too good.
01:09:33Hey?
01:09:33I said you don't look too good.
01:09:35I ain't.
01:09:36I've just had a diabolical operation.
01:09:38Well, you oughtn't to be using that thing.
01:09:39Here.
01:09:39All right, quick.
01:09:40Come here.
01:09:41Give us that.
01:09:43Take him up.
01:09:43Right, then.
01:09:44Here we go.
01:09:52Why the hell doesn't he get some help?
01:09:53Mr. Ryder, if you need me, I'll be in my car.
01:10:02It's bad enough with that lot.
01:10:03Now, don't you start.
01:10:07Are you all right?
01:10:10What a shit.
01:10:15Get more help.
01:10:18Get on to HQ and tell him to send around another patrol car right away.
01:10:21Go on.
01:10:21Yes, sir.
01:10:23You haven't had an operation, have you?
01:10:25No, Governor.
01:10:26Thank God for that.
01:10:35If you don't get that thing started and knock something down, I shall go start raving mad.
01:10:58Somebody's had all me blinkin' fuel out.
01:11:03Be blue to MP.
01:11:06Be blu.
01:11:19Now, ladies, please, we'll move on.
01:11:23Why don't you arrest a lot of them?
01:11:24How the hell can I do that?
01:11:26They won't stand still long enough to be knocked off for obstruction.
01:11:28Besides, what would I put them in?
01:11:30There's about 50 of them at least.
01:11:33Did you get that message away?
01:11:34No, sir.
01:11:35What do you mean, no, sir?
01:11:36I distinctly talk...
01:11:37Why the hell didn't you get it away?
01:11:38Well, sir, my aerial dropped off.
01:11:41I can't understand it.
01:11:43Oh, Cain.
01:11:46There's a telephone box over there.
01:11:48Go and get that message in.
01:11:50And tell them I want two black Mariahs as well now.
01:11:52Yes, sir.
01:12:01Do you mind, madam?
01:12:02Do you mind?
01:12:03Do you mind?
01:12:03Do you mind?
01:12:04Do you mind?
01:12:05It's 5 to 12, and I...
01:12:08Oh, no, oh, no.
01:12:09If something doesn't get moving, Sony, bar gum, you're coming back to Bradford.
01:12:13Come on, now.
01:12:20No, no, no.
01:12:21Come on, now.
01:12:22Please, you can't stay here all day now.
01:12:26Excuse me, madam.
01:12:31Excuse me, madam.
01:12:43Excuse me, madam.
01:12:45embarrassing
01:13:02I'm not interrupting you am I then I wonder if I can impress upon you how
01:13:08important it is for me to carry on with this work well sir as soon as our
01:13:12police driver turns back soon as what the steaming knits still standing outside the telephone box
01:13:21madam wait wait there's a woman in the box sir well get her out man get her out excuse me
01:13:32madam
01:13:32but excuse me now look i am fed up with you policemen busting in here like this this is a
01:13:37public phone box isn't it i know that madam and i am a member of the public and i am
01:13:42using it
01:13:42aren't i i have a very important call madam and i have a very important call and i have paid
01:13:48for it
01:13:48and i am making it excuse me colonel there's a blue bottle in the box in it rather put me
01:13:55on
01:13:59saunders sir get in that car go around the station and tell them if i don't have two patrol cars
01:14:06and two blackmail eyes here in 15 minutes i'll have the old horse back on a beat yes sir
01:14:40i'm a man of my word mr wright
01:14:43i said i'd give you till noon and i will that gives you just three minutes to knock something down
01:14:55i and i can't do
01:15:19i and it's safe
01:15:19and i know
01:15:36look what you've done you murderer well there's no need to go on like that
01:15:43it was only an old wreck it couldn't have been worth more than 50 quid couldn't have been worth
01:15:48more than do you know what you're saying i said old pie hey hey oh you'll pay all right don't
01:16:13you
01:16:13mother the moment i get back to bradford you'll be hearing from my solicitors i'll be suing you
01:16:18for shock damages expenses default and the car
01:16:44funny how your luck changes in it yes it is i think there was gonna be two blocks of offices
01:16:53there
01:16:55down there i found it and a gold statue painted of course
01:17:03and now and now you're thinking of selling that's right just a minute who the hell are you
01:17:11whitforth is the name colonel whitforth
01:17:16why don't we talk it over at lunch tomorrow suppose you call for me at my office 12 o'clock
01:17:27ah this is a pleasure mr rider won't you come in i want you to meet my board
01:17:36mrs craig you
01:17:41chars all of you chars do you mind so that's how you did it
01:17:48what didn't i think of that you crafty ah now now mr rider flattery won't get you nowhere
01:17:59mr rider we've decided to invite you to join the board i suggest we discuss the whole matter
01:18:05who would have a bite of lunch at the savoy
01:18:10something terrible's happened all right let's have it when i told mother we were gonna put her
01:18:18in a nice new flat she said we wouldn't get her out of her house not in a million years
01:18:25oh blimey she can't do that to us we're offering her alternative accommodation
01:18:33oh well let's go and have our luncheon and then i'll go and butter up the old watch it shall
01:18:42we go
01:18:58well shall we join the ladies
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