Head witch in charge - Full English Sub
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:23Jesus! Mom! Can you at least warn me when you're gonna do that? Please?
00:00:28Oh, please. Don't be such a child. Do you still have the Wand of Light?
00:00:43See? The all-powerful magic heirloom. Still safe and sound.
00:00:48Well, you should be more careful.
00:00:49The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
00:00:54Yeah. And if it falls into the wrong hands, it would become the most dangerous weapon in the world.
00:01:01But a marriage to another noble witch family would only strengthen your power.
00:01:06Yeah. Unless it's an evil Svensson, right?
00:01:10The Svensons are our worst enemies, Leona.
00:01:13Do you know how much our family has suffered over the centuries because of them?
00:01:18I know. Sorry.
00:01:21You are the guardian of the Wand of Light, Leona.
00:01:25And you can't reach your full potential until you marry and succeed me as head of the family.
00:01:31Come home with a husband next week or I will pick one for you.
00:01:35What?
00:01:36Mom, no. Please don't.
00:01:38Leona Sherwood, you are getting married whether you like the boy I pick or not.
00:01:43Mom, please.
00:01:44Understand?
00:01:47Don't worry, Mom. I'm the responsible daughter. Remember.
00:01:59Okay, Leona Sherwood. This is your last weekend of freedom.
00:02:07For two more nights, fuck my responsibility. I'm gonna have some fun.
00:02:26Thank you. That would be $25.
00:02:30I think you mean it's on the house, right?
00:02:35Right. It's on the house.
00:02:54There you are, little Miss Sherwood.
00:03:03Where the hell are you?
00:03:04I'm in Vegas like I said I would be old man.
00:03:06Hey, don't you get smart with me, you little shit.
00:03:10Remember your mission.
00:03:11Seduce the Sherwood heir and marry her and then that whole obnoxious family will be there to pay off our
00:03:17debts.
00:03:18You mean your debts.
00:03:19Quiet!
00:03:20It's bad enough that I have a sorry excuse for an heir.
00:03:23You are an embarrassment to the Spence in name.
00:03:27Now, if you don't marry the Sherwood girl like I told you,
00:03:30I am going to sell your little sister off to old Fitzgerald to be his fourth wife.
00:03:36Dad's secret is just a kid.
00:03:38When I want your opinion, I will ask for it.
00:03:41Until then, you shut up and do as I say.
00:03:45Do you understand?
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:47I understand.
00:03:49Good!
00:03:50And you, keep practicing.
00:03:52You sound god-awful.
00:03:55Heartless fucking bastard.
00:04:11It's two of us.
00:04:13You're saying you don't remember me?
00:04:15Who remembers Shippen and his dumb teens anyways?
00:04:17No way.
00:04:19Totally.
00:04:19I love that show.
00:04:20I watched it in one setting at like 2am.
00:04:23This is one of my favorites.
00:04:25It definitely doesn't get the love that it deserves.
00:04:27But I think it's one of their best ones.
00:04:28Really?
00:04:30I never begged you for a sappy romance kind of guy.
00:04:35Looks can be deceiving.
00:04:41The wand of light.
00:04:43So it does exist.
00:04:45Maybe I'm just jaded.
00:04:47It's hard to believe that love like that actually exists in real life.
00:04:50Why not?
00:04:51We're witches.
00:04:53Monsters and magic exist in our world.
00:04:55Why can't true love?
00:04:58I'm Lili, by the way.
00:05:01Lili Collins.
00:05:05Eric Phillips.
00:05:06Nice to meet you, Lili Collins.
00:05:09Damn, he's hot.
00:05:11And I'm in Vegas.
00:05:12I deserve a little fun.
00:05:14Well, Eric Phillips.
00:05:16I'll be in the poker room tonight.
00:05:18Maybe I'll see you there.
00:05:20Maybe.
00:05:39Okay, Svenson.
00:05:40Don't fuck this up.
00:05:55Eric motherfucking Svenson.
00:05:57Excuse me?
00:05:58You ghost me for three months after sleeping with me?
00:06:01And you think you can sit there and act like nothing happened?
00:06:03I think you've got me confused with someone else.
00:06:06Don't gaslight me, Svenson.
00:06:07I know exactly who you are.
00:06:23You know who she is?
00:06:26I think she's got me confused with someone else.
00:06:40You nervous?
00:06:41Not at all.
00:06:43You can always vote, you know.
00:06:45I'd hate to send you home empty-handed.
00:06:50Not a chance.
00:06:52I'm here to win.
00:06:54You sure?
00:06:55Seems like your focus is somewhere else.
00:06:58Oh.
00:06:59I am very focused.
00:07:04Are you guys done making Google eyes at each other or what?
00:07:08You're full of shit, Phillips.
00:07:10I call.
00:07:12Yeah, there is no way that you have this.
00:07:15But don't worry.
00:07:16I'll let you go another round.
00:07:18Once I beat you.
00:07:20Actually, I think I'm about to hit the jackpot.
00:07:26Eric?
00:07:29Eric?
00:07:46I have wanted to do that since I saw you by the pool in your bikini.
00:07:49Eric.
00:07:50Everyone can see.
00:07:52Do you want me to stop?
00:08:09Let's see.
00:08:10Let him watch.
00:08:12Give him a shower.
00:08:25Please don't stop use your words tell me what you want. I want your tongue inside me, please. That's a
00:08:35good girl
00:08:45Wait, I think I'm gonna... Was that some kind of vision? No, that was from him
00:09:05Lucky son of a bitch. Beginner Lux, let's see you do it again next hand. No can do. I have
00:09:13a date.
00:09:13With a very pretty lady. Why do I have the feeling that you're not exactly as you present, Eric Phillips?
00:09:27It is Vegas. Isn't that part of the fun?
00:09:42You know, it wasn't very nice of you to tease me with your strap of your dress during our game.
00:09:49It's very distracting.
00:09:53Well, you know, it wasn't very nice of you to send me that little vision during our game.
00:09:58I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview.
00:10:09Eric, there are people. And if you're quiet, they won't see you.
00:10:17I should stop. This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go. You know, you were right before. I'm not
00:10:23who I say I am.
00:10:24And who out there is exactly as they present.
00:10:28But I am... Look, I don't care who you are outside of this. For once in my life, I... I
00:10:35just want to forget about everything.
00:10:38Just live in the moment. And I think you... can help me do that.
00:10:51Remove the camouflage. I want you to see you. The real you.
00:10:58But then you'll know who I am.
00:11:00I already know who you are. The real you... wants to let go.
00:11:11No one's ever looked at me like that. He really wants me. The real me.
00:11:17Fuck. You are gorgeous.
00:11:23I want you, Eric. I need you.
00:11:30Spread your legs for me.
00:11:36Keep your eyes open.
00:11:39I want you to watch yourself come... all over my fingers.
00:11:48Keep your eyes open.
00:11:55I thought you said that they couldn't hear me.
00:11:57They can't if you stay quiet.
00:11:59Keep your eyes open. We're all stuck.
00:12:06That's a good girl. Look down at my hand.
00:12:14Oh my god, they hurt me.
00:12:16I can't. Just relax.
00:12:20I can't, Eric.
00:12:23It's okay. Don't think.
00:12:26Just tell. Tell me anything.
00:12:30It's okay.
00:12:31It's so good.
00:12:32It's so good.
00:12:32But I need more, Eric.
00:12:37You feel so good.
00:12:39I can't wait to put my mouth on you.
00:12:44It's okay to make you come.
00:12:46I'll reach you there.
00:12:48I'm gonna go down.
00:12:50I want you to scream my name.
00:12:52Let it come.
00:12:53Five.
00:12:55Four.
00:12:57Three.
00:12:58Two.
00:13:02Four.
00:13:03Four.
00:13:04Four.
00:13:05Four.
00:13:06Four.
00:13:06Four.
00:13:08Four.
00:13:09Four.
00:13:09Four.
00:13:10Four.
00:13:19Four.
00:13:22Four.
00:13:23I can't believe I just came on his hand.
00:13:25In front of other people.
00:13:28I think this is your floor.
00:13:36I'll be at the fountain tomorrow at eight o'clock.
00:13:40if you decided that you want more see you there
00:13:53how did he know what floor i was on
00:14:00so you've told me all about your wild sister and the things that she's done
00:14:04mm-hmm what about you me i'm the responsible sister the boring one if you will yeah i do what
00:14:16i'm
00:14:16supposed to do all the rules and all that good stuff i don't believe you i mean i know how
00:14:23you
00:14:23are in an elevator oh come on come on it's vegas let me be your bad influence just for tonight
00:14:35so any bad ideas
00:14:41just one
00:14:48what are you doing
00:15:06no games just me already i thought i would try to woo you first consider me rude
00:15:12maybe we could take it slow oh your lips say one thing but your body says something else
00:15:22oh
00:15:29wait
00:15:32shit i almost lost my cool i gotta remember the plan
00:15:38oh my god i can't believe i just did that that was so embarrassing this is why i don't do
00:15:43crazy
00:15:44shit that was way too much hey you're never too much you don't understand eric okay if my family
00:15:50saw me do any of that they would freak out tonight's not about your family tonight's about you remember
00:15:57forget what everyone else has told you to do do something that you want to do something no one would
00:16:03expect expect maybe he's right i've spent my whole life doing what my family's told me to do
00:16:12for once in my life i'm doing something for myself she spotted the chapel just like i planned
00:16:23so are you uh you sure about this marriage thing it's only temporary okay and old magic is weak the
00:16:29hand fast
00:16:30bond will probably only last till the morning so are you ready for a holy matrimony
00:16:36i'm ready if you're ready come on let's go
00:16:48you nervous just never been married before
00:17:00uh it's my sister i need to take this oh yeah take your time
00:17:05elvis here wants me to pick out a hand fast bouquet hey mama let's get some flowers for
00:17:08you come on let's do it you need to come home now i can't secret eric dad's up to something
00:17:16he
00:17:16invited bit surreal to the house and made me dress up he looks at me weird it really freaks me
00:17:22out
00:17:22you were my big brother e i need you here listen i can't leave right now but i promise
00:17:28when i come home i'll have enough power to get rid of dad forever okay
00:17:36hey is everything okay yeah yeah it's fine
00:17:44you uh you sure about this it's only temporary come on we'll be laughing about this for years
00:17:56let's go
00:18:11right only temporary unless you get hand fasted under a full moon then the hand fast bond is nearly
00:18:19unbreakable but she doesn't know that and once she does she'll hate me is your sister okay is
00:18:27something wrong nothing's wrong we're about to get married in vegas by ovis what could possibly be
00:18:35wrong all right you ready to rock and roll you hunk a hunk a hot couple let's get this show
00:18:42started
00:18:42whoosh
00:19:10This is it.
00:19:11I have the Wand of Light.
00:19:14The most powerful object in the world.
00:19:16If I leave now, I could use it to take control away from my father.
00:19:21Set Sigrid and I free.
00:19:29But I already betrayed her once.
00:20:00I'll see you next time.
00:20:12I'll have to get more chocolate strawberries.
00:20:14Be back soon.
00:20:25It's only temporary.
00:20:27Okay, and old magic is weak.
00:20:28The hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning.
00:20:31Hmm, that's weird.
00:20:34The mark should have worn off by now.
00:20:44So, did you marry the girl yet?
00:20:49No, it's complicated.
00:20:53Complicated or distracted.
00:20:56You were sent there to marry the Sherwood heir and bind her power to this family, not to play house.
00:21:03You're a Svensson.
00:21:05Act like one.
00:21:06Eric is a Svensson?
00:21:08I married my family's worst enemy?
00:21:11I don't need you to tell me what I am.
00:21:14Then stop hesitating.
00:21:16If the rumors about the Wand of Light are true, we might catch an even bigger prize.
00:21:20So, hurry up and marry the Sherwood girl and then bring her to me, idiot.
00:21:34He's been lying this whole time.
00:21:42I need to tell her the truth.
00:21:46You lying piece of cruel shit!
00:21:49You didn't want me, you just wanted the fucking wand, didn't you?
00:21:54I didn't even know the wand existed until I met you.
00:21:56You still lied to me, Eric.
00:21:57You knew I was a Sherwood from the start.
00:21:59That's why you gave me a fake fucking name, right?
00:22:02Okay, I did, but that was before we...
00:22:04Why before?
00:22:04Before you decided to mess with me?
00:22:06Get your dick wet before you ruin me and my family forever?
00:22:09I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:22:11I'm trying to save mine.
00:22:12Oh, I know all about you, Svensons.
00:22:15All you do is lie and cheat and steal to get whatever you fucking want.
00:22:20I should have caught it at the poker table, but your little tricks won't work on me this time.
00:22:25The hand fast mark, it'll fade.
00:22:28Just like you, just like whatever this was.
00:22:30The hand fast wasn't a trick.
00:22:32Not that part.
00:22:34Not with you.
00:22:35It doesn't matter, Eric.
00:22:37You will never, ever get the wand.
00:22:41Lily, what?
00:22:44When this fades, Eric, I will never have to see you again.
00:23:01So, that didn't happen.
00:23:04My older sister, Effie, told me that the mark would fade a week later.
00:23:09Then a month went by.
00:23:12Then, well...
00:23:17See, this is where you don't fuck with old magic.
00:23:20It's all fun and games, so there's a full moon.
00:23:23Then it's the most powerful magic in the universe.
00:23:29Apparently, getting hand fast married under a full moon creates a bond that's almost unbreakable.
00:23:36Also, apparently, the almost part means that both people have to perform the divorce spell.
00:23:44I tried calling, texting, sending flying monkeys, nothing.
00:23:50Not a single word from my beloved husband for half a year.
00:24:04Yes, I still sleep with a wand under my pillow.
00:24:08The emotional ass whooping I got from my mother for getting hand fasted to a stranger was bad enough.
00:24:14No one can ever find out that I almost lost the wand, too.
00:24:17I just need one night to sleep without thinking about him.
00:24:46Who are you?
00:24:48What do you want with the wand of light?
00:24:51Nothing.
00:24:51I'm just here to collect my payday from my client once I bring him that wand.
00:24:56Payday?
00:24:58Someone sent you!
00:24:59Who?
00:25:00I'm afraid I can't break client confidentiality.
00:25:02Sorry, sweetie.
00:25:05Well, I'm afraid that you chose the wrong witch to fuck with tonight.
00:25:09Oh!
00:25:12Oh!
00:25:14Oh!
00:25:15Oh!
00:25:17Oh!
00:25:18Oh!
00:25:18Oh!
00:25:18Oh!
00:25:19Oh!
00:25:19Oh!
00:25:19Oh!
00:25:21Be wise not to fight back, witch.
00:25:23You're in over your head.
00:25:26I'd rather die than let you take the wand!
00:25:31Suit yourself.
00:25:36Suit yourself.
00:25:45What the fuck?
00:25:47What the fuck?
00:25:49What the fuck?
00:25:49What the fuck?
00:26:00Get off me!
00:26:01She has the wand!
00:26:03I got the wand.
00:26:04I'll get the rest later.
00:26:05I'll get the rest later.
00:26:08No!
00:26:12You are the reason I lost the wand!
00:26:14Who are you?
00:26:20The hand fast mark.
00:26:25Hello, wife.
00:26:27Miss me?
00:26:30What are you doing here?
00:26:32Oh, well, you know, I thought I'd spice up our marriage, do a little role-playing, but
00:26:36it looks like you're more into bondage.
00:26:38I didn't know you were so kinky.
00:26:40Shut up!
00:26:44Look, you should be thanking me.
00:26:46I did just save you.
00:26:47Thanking you?
00:26:47You're the reason my family's most powerful heirloom is gone.
00:26:51How did you even find me?
00:26:54Wait a minute.
00:26:55You were trying to steal the wand too, weren't you?
00:26:59Maybe.
00:27:01Oh, you slimy, tote-faced motherfucker!
00:27:05Okay, first, you tricked me into marrying you, then you ghost me for six months, and now
00:27:10you come in here like a goddamn fucking cartoon burglar and try to take my wand!
00:27:15Look, I was just gonna borrow it!
00:27:17Yeah, for one of your dirty, no-good-spensin schemes!
00:27:20I-I just-I need it, okay?
00:27:23It's-it's the only way that we can be free.
00:27:27Look, my dad doesn't know about our marriage.
00:27:30Not yet.
00:27:31But he knows about the wand.
00:27:32If he gets a hold of it, he's gonna sell it to the highest bidder.
00:27:35Whoever controls the wand has the power to take over the world.
00:27:38Or worse.
00:27:39No!
00:27:40Worse than tricking me into marrying you?
00:27:42I told you that that wasn't a trick.
00:27:44It doesn't matter, Eric.
00:27:46She has the wand, that shadow thief or whatever!
00:27:49And that's your fault!
00:27:51I can get it back!
00:27:53Look, I know I don't deserve it, but just give me one more chance.
00:27:58I can get the wand back, take care of what I need to take care of, and then I'll do
00:28:02the
00:28:02divorce spell.
00:28:03Please, Lele, just give me one more chance.
00:28:06Please.
00:28:07I can't trust him.
00:28:09I shouldn't.
00:28:11But my gut tells me, this time, it might be different.
00:28:20No.
00:28:22No, we're both gonna go get it.
00:28:25It is my job as a Sherwood heir to set things right, so I don't let the wand fall into
00:28:30the
00:28:30wrong hands.
00:28:31And you really think after Vegas, I would let you go alone to find the most powerful magical
00:28:36object in the entire world?
00:28:39Fair.
00:28:40Uh, whatever you want, Lele.
00:28:42God, I hate when you call me that.
00:28:45Alright, I'll call you wife.
00:28:47And you can call me whatever you want.
00:28:50Eric, husband, daddy...
00:28:53Shut up!
00:28:54Don't call me wife, either.
00:28:55After we get this wand, we will do the divorce spell.
00:28:58Got it?
00:28:58You're breaking my heart.
00:29:00I mean, you're the better half of my soul.
00:29:03Yeah, you're not gonna sweet-talk your way into my pants again, Eric.
00:29:07We'll see.
00:29:12Now, the wand forbids a direct tracking spell, so we have to track its trail.
00:29:17That's a ten-mile radius.
00:29:19We'll never find a wand inside that circle.
00:29:21Well, with the tracking spell, I get a location, okay?
00:29:24It doesn't last long, though.
00:29:26We'll have like three or four days.
00:29:28Well, lucky for you, I already packed your bags.
00:29:32Consider it our official honeymoon.
00:29:39After this, we're done.
00:29:40You got it?
00:29:41Don't go back on your words, Vincent.
00:29:43We will do the divorce spell.
00:29:45Cross my heart.
00:29:46Hope to die.
00:30:04You magicked a car here?
00:30:06This isn't just any car.
00:30:14This is Bessie.
00:30:16You really expect us to track down the most powerful, magical object in the world?
00:30:21In a car without a roof?
00:30:24I mean, if you're not comfortable, I could go by myself.
00:30:32If you trust me not to throw it away.
00:30:35Hmm.
00:30:36I wouldn't trust you with a half-eaten newt muffin.
00:30:39I was gonna throw in the trash.
00:30:42Then your chariot awaits.
00:30:45Wife.
00:31:04We've been driving all day, and she hasn't said a single word.
00:31:19You're Svensson.
00:31:21You don't play house with sheriffs.
00:31:22Wait, why are we turning?
00:31:24We don't have any time.
00:31:25We have to find the wand, Eric.
00:31:27That circle is getting further and further away.
00:31:30Plus, it's getting dark.
00:31:32We need to stay somewhere for the night.
00:31:33Why don't you just let me drive?
00:31:34Because you haven't slept either.
00:31:36Plus, no one can drive Bessie but me.
00:31:40What is with guys in cars?
00:31:41Jesus.
00:31:42No.
00:31:43I mean literally, no one else can drive Bessie.
00:31:46My great-great-grandfather put a hex on all of our possessions.
00:31:49Anyone that's non-blood related can't touch it.
00:31:52The Svensons like to hoard their treasures.
00:31:54Your family has issues.
00:31:57Finally.
00:31:58Something we can agree on.
00:31:59Was this your plan all along?
00:32:01To make me feel bad for you because your family's evil so I get all ooey gooey and forget
00:32:06about the divorce?
00:32:07Not everyone in my family is evil.
00:32:10Yeah.
00:32:11Okay.
00:32:24You cross this wall or do anything to piss me off more than you already have, then you
00:32:29do not even want to imagine the hex I'm going to put on you.
00:32:36I promise.
00:32:38No funny business.
00:32:40Peaky promise.
00:32:43I promise.
00:32:59I promise.
00:33:01I promise.
00:33:02I'll take it over to you too.
00:33:03What?
00:33:09Yeah.
00:33:16In Vegas
00:33:19You said you had a sister, right?
00:33:23Yeah
00:33:24Sigrid
00:33:27She didn't ask to be a Svensson
00:33:29She's different than us
00:33:32Better
00:33:33Not like you?
00:33:35No
00:33:37Not like me
00:33:38But you already know that
00:34:05You already know that
00:34:31Good morning, wife
00:34:34I told you not to call me
00:34:52You were saying something?
00:34:54What?
00:34:58How did you know I was awake?
00:35:00The husband always knows
00:35:06Well, if you don't mind
00:35:10I'm gonna shower
00:35:14No peeking
00:35:20Cross my heart
00:35:22Hope to die
00:35:30I need to get a grip
00:35:32Some washboard ads and a cocky grin aren't enough to make me fall for him
00:35:37I just need this one time
00:35:42To take the edge off
00:35:50I remember
00:35:52He touched me like this in Vegas
00:36:05Look, I'm so close
00:36:07Look, I'm so close
00:36:12That's it, Lily
00:36:14Be a good girl
00:36:16And go for me
00:36:18And go for me
00:36:23Are you ready?
00:36:28Are you ready?
00:36:28Okay
00:36:30Eric
00:36:44You said that you wouldn't look
00:36:48I don't need to look to know what you were doing
00:36:51While thinking about me
00:36:54God, you are so full of yourself
00:36:56Do I know what I heard?
00:36:58Say another word
00:36:59And I'll turn you into a frog
00:37:04Were you thinking about that time
00:37:06In Vegas
00:37:08Where I ate you out
00:37:09In the shower
00:37:10And you came so hard
00:37:12You almost crushed my skull
00:37:13Between your thighs
00:37:16I think about those times a lot
00:37:19Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all
00:37:45You still haven't even told me
00:37:47What you want the one for yet
00:37:49It's on a need-to-know basis
00:37:51Oh, don't you think I need to know?
00:37:55I am your wife, after all
00:37:57Oh, now you remember you're my wife
00:37:59Funny how you only remember that
00:38:00Once convenient for you
00:38:01I remember every time I think about
00:38:03How badly I fucked up in Vegas
00:38:05So all I am is a mistake
00:38:07If I remember right
00:38:08You're the one that suggested
00:38:09That we get handfast married
00:38:11Obviously that was before I knew
00:38:12About all your bullshit and lies
00:38:15Duty and responsibility
00:38:16Might not be a big deal in your family
00:38:18But in mine, it's huge
00:38:21See? There you go again
00:38:22Always worried about what your family wants
00:38:24It's never about what you want
00:38:26I follow the rules because I have to, Eric
00:38:29If I don't, I end up in situations like this
00:38:32Did you ever stop to think
00:38:33That maybe that's unfair?
00:38:35That maybe your ideas
00:38:37And their ideas are bullshit?
00:38:39You ever think of that?
00:38:41Spoken like a true Spinson
00:38:42Well, you're a Spinson too, sweetheart
00:38:44Not much longer, I can tell you that
00:39:05I'm gonna get some coffee
00:39:07It's being dark
00:39:08You really think you should be alone?
00:39:09So now that we're married
00:39:10You think you have to babysit me too?
00:39:16Fine, just don't take too long
00:39:22You got her in the car or what?
00:39:24Who?
00:39:25Don't play dumb with me, boy
00:39:27The little Sherwood witch you married
00:39:29You forgot to tell me about
00:39:32You thought I wouldn't find out, huh?
00:39:34You did a good job of hiding it
00:39:36I'll give you that
00:39:37Maybe you are my son after all, huh?
00:39:40What's the end game here?
00:39:41You said you just needed to get the Sherwood's wand
00:39:43So you could pay off your debts
00:39:44What does she have to do with it?
00:39:46Because I'm not an idiot like you
00:39:48I'll finally have all the leverage I need
00:39:51Over the Sherwood family
00:39:53When I tell them their pretty little heir
00:39:55Is my new daughter-in-law
00:39:57And then it'll be our family
00:39:59That gets to call the shots in the magic world
00:40:01So you just want to use her
00:40:03Like you use mom
00:40:04Like you're using your own daughter
00:40:06This is not a request, boy
00:40:09Bring the girl and the wand to me
00:40:11Or you will be stripped of your name
00:40:13Your magic, everything
00:40:15And your sister
00:40:16She'll be the one paying the price
00:40:18For your mistakes
00:40:30This isn't right
00:40:31The trail should still be here
00:40:34Would you like some coffee, Miss Sherwood?
00:40:36Yeah, thank you
00:40:37Wait, how did you know my
00:40:39You
00:40:43But the map said that
00:40:45That's cute
00:40:47You think that dusty old map could track me?
00:40:54That wand is mine
00:40:59Not anymore, it's not
00:41:01And sadly, my employers need your powers too
00:41:04Employer?
00:41:07Hold still
00:41:08This will only hurt a bit
00:41:10No, stop
00:41:11Stop
00:41:14Hold still
00:41:19Get away from her
00:41:25Eric, the wand
00:41:38My magic
00:41:40She took half of my magic, Eric
00:41:42You're okay
00:41:43I got you
00:41:45You're okay
00:41:48You don't understand
00:41:50The map said that the wand was miles away
00:41:52What did she want with my powers?
00:41:54Thief must have found some way to bypass the tracking spell
00:41:57She can't have gone far, we'll find her
00:41:59Lay low for now
00:42:01Eric, stop the car, I can't breathe
00:42:04Okay
00:42:14Okay
00:42:14Hey, hey, hey
00:42:15Look at me, look at me
00:42:16You're okay
00:42:17You're okay
00:42:18Just breathe
00:42:18I got you
00:42:20You're safe
00:42:22I thought she was gonna kill me, Eric
00:42:25I'm not gonna let that happen
00:42:28Not while I'm breathing
00:42:41I still hate you
00:42:45If you hated me
00:42:47You wouldn't let me touch you like this
00:42:50This doesn't change anything
00:42:52It's only scratching an itch
00:42:55Once we get the wand
00:42:57And we do the divorce spell
00:42:58Now we forget each other existed
00:43:05Is that what you want, Lily?
00:43:07You wanna forget how good I make you feel?
00:43:10You wanna forget
00:43:11I'm the only person in the whole fucking world
00:43:14Who can make you feel this way
00:43:20Eric
00:43:23Wait, wait, wait, wait
00:43:31We can't do this
00:43:34This is what goes wrong between us
00:43:36We can't make that mistake again
00:43:38We have a job to do, Eric
00:43:40Let's get the wand
00:43:41That's it
00:43:42And then what?
00:43:45You know what happens after, Eric
00:43:47We do the divorce spell
00:43:49And we never see each other again
00:43:51We don't know what to do
00:43:52We don't have a job for her
00:44:08Just go
00:44:08And you know what
00:44:09I don't know what's running
00:44:11I don't know
00:44:11I don't know
00:44:12Maybe I don't know
00:44:14I don't know
00:44:22It smells like fresh baked pastries, cinnamon, old magic.
00:44:31I should have known.
00:44:34It's a Seder's Inn.
00:44:36That smell.
00:44:38An almond-inhabitus smell.
00:44:40It's woven into places like this for couples.
00:44:45You mean Orchase?
00:44:48Seder's are the horniest bastards in the lone world.
00:44:51It lowers any fear, doubt, shame, currency of your deepest desires without any fear of judgment or consequences.
00:45:12Here I don't.
00:45:14I'm trying not to.
00:45:24Here I don't.
00:45:26I'm trying not to.
00:45:33This spell doesn't create desire.
00:45:37It lets go of the lies.
00:45:39It tells us what we really want.
00:45:41What I want doesn't matter.
00:45:44It matters in here.
00:45:47Tell me what you really want.
00:45:50You can say goodbye.
00:45:51Let go our separate ways.
00:45:54Where you can tell me you want this.
00:45:57You want me.
00:46:00Tell me to stay.
00:46:04Stay here.
00:46:06Please.
00:46:07God, what is this?
00:46:09Is this just the magic?
00:46:11No.
00:46:14It's not the spell.
00:46:16It's freedom.
00:46:18To be here in the outside world doesn't matter.
00:46:21Just you.
00:46:23And me.
00:46:25I shouldn't want this.
00:46:27I know.
00:46:30I shouldn't be doing this.
00:46:34Or this.
00:46:37To be able to share with.
00:46:39To the most respected family of the whole rich world.
00:46:43You definitely shouldn't sound this fucking sexy.
00:46:47To mine.
00:46:49You'd love the ear.
00:46:51To the Sherwood family.
00:46:54Who are you?
00:46:55I want you, Eric.
00:46:58I need you.
00:47:02Tell me who you are.
00:47:05Lily.
00:47:07Close.
00:47:11But not quite.
00:47:13Tonight.
00:47:15Tell me who you are.
00:47:17Your wife.
00:47:36No.
00:47:42This doesn't change anything.
00:47:44I know.
00:47:46We can have tonight and then tomorrow we go back to who we are on the outside.
00:47:51Sure.
00:47:52I'll go back to being my bad self and you can go back to pretending to be a good little
00:47:56witch.
00:47:57Excuse me.
00:47:59Don't deny.
00:48:00Lily, Sherwood, Sven said.
00:48:02I know I'm kind of dork.
00:48:04Naughty thoughts you have.
00:48:06I don't.
00:48:09It's okay to be bad.
00:48:11You don't have to pretend.
00:48:15I don't, huh?
00:48:20You know, just because I have half my magic doesn't mean I can't play it with you for tonight.
00:48:24Why?
00:48:37Now you're gonna sit there like a good little witch.
00:48:47And I'm gonna do whatever I want to you.
00:48:59I don't remember packing that lingerie.
00:49:02Close your eyes.
00:49:05Eric, you're so good for being such a bad boy.
00:49:11I'm being properly motivated not to move.
00:49:19See how long it takes you to break.
00:49:20For you I could stay here forever.
00:49:23Pretty to think so.
00:49:25Why don't we test that little theory, huh?
00:49:29We're playing a dangerous game.
00:49:32All you have to do
00:49:35is admit that I win.
00:49:37I'll let you fuck me.
00:49:39I'll even
00:49:42let you come wherever you want.
00:49:46God.
00:49:47You can come here.
00:49:50Or here.
00:49:53I'll even
00:49:54let you come in here.
00:49:58God.
00:49:59Come on.
00:50:01I know you wanna.
00:50:03Just admit
00:50:05I'm right.
00:50:07Fine.
00:50:08You win.
00:50:10Oh, what was that?
00:50:12You hurt me.
00:50:13Oh.
00:50:22So what's my prize?
00:50:27I could torture you like you did me.
00:50:32But I want to be inside you.
00:50:35I want to feel you squeeze me tight.
00:50:38And take me to bed, husband.
00:50:43Call me that again.
00:50:47You want me to fuck you, husband?
00:50:50Fuck me.
00:50:51Oh.
00:50:59Tell me a story.
00:51:03Like the ones you did in Vegas.
00:51:05I've got a story about
00:51:08I've got a story about
00:51:08my pet goat, Gilmore
00:51:09and how he got stuck on a magic carpet
00:51:14or the story about
00:51:15how my sister tried to negotiate with a troll
00:51:18using only redimines.
00:51:19I know.
00:51:22I already know about your family.
00:51:26I want to know about you.
00:51:29What's it like to be a Svensson heir?
00:51:31You want the insider info.
00:51:34Mmm.
00:51:34Mmm.
00:51:35You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.
00:51:37You gonna tell me how wonderful it was
00:51:39growing up as a beloved and blessed Sherwood?
00:51:46Is that what you think being a Sherwood is like?
00:51:50Is that what you think being a Sherwood is like?
00:51:52All fun and rainbows?
00:51:54Yeah, everybody loves your family.
00:51:56That's not true, Eric.
00:51:58There are so many people
00:51:59who would love it if we just disappeared.
00:52:02My mother has been shouldering
00:52:03all that responsibility and pressure for decades.
00:52:06And next year,
00:52:07I will be the head witch in charge.
00:52:10Everyone's counting on me to do the right thing.
00:52:12Like eat your fruits and veggies?
00:52:14Like spending my whole childhood
00:52:16being told that the whole world depended on me.
00:52:20Like never bothering to have any hopes
00:52:22or dreams because
00:52:24my whole life was planned for me
00:52:26from the very start
00:52:27before I was even born.
00:52:29I'm always doing the right thing
00:52:30for the family.
00:52:31I was never allowed to even think
00:52:33of doing the wrong thing.
00:52:35I couldn't be tired.
00:52:36I couldn't be scared.
00:52:37I couldn't be angry.
00:52:39One mistake and my family
00:52:41loses everything that they've ever worked for.
00:52:43If this whole world fades to black,
00:52:45it's because I messed up.
00:52:47It's because I didn't do a good job.
00:52:52I don't think I've ever said that out loud before.
00:52:55I'm glad you did.
00:52:58Your turn.
00:53:00Growing up with Svinson was
00:53:03a little different.
00:53:04The old man likes to say
00:53:06I was the first of his disappointments.
00:53:09I guess it's good.
00:53:11At least I was first in something.
00:53:14I didn't care about disappointing him.
00:53:17I just wanted to get away from him.
00:53:19I had it all planned out
00:53:20when I turned 16.
00:53:22I'd leave, change my name,
00:53:24and the Svinson bloodline would die with me.
00:53:27My mom died when Secret was born.
00:53:31My dad used her against me
00:53:34every day since.
00:53:41I'm so sorry, Eric.
00:53:43I...
00:53:44I shouldn't have asked.
00:53:47It's okay.
00:53:49Svinsons have always lived in the Sherwood shadows.
00:53:53We are the shadows.
00:53:57All you do is shine.
00:54:08You always ask me what I want.
00:54:12What do you want, Eric?
00:54:17You'd hate me if I told you.
00:54:19I mean, more than you already do.
00:54:24I don't hate you.
00:54:25I don't know.
00:54:27I never did.
00:55:02Eric.
00:55:03Something's wrong.
00:55:05Dad's got visitors.
00:55:07A bunch of old guys.
00:55:08I don't know who they are.
00:55:09He made me play piano for them
00:55:11like some kind of dress of doll.
00:55:13It's like freaking me out.
00:55:19Eric.
00:55:20Are you safe?
00:55:28For now.
00:55:29All those weird old men lived last night.
00:55:33And I hexed my door so no one could get in.
00:55:36Don't let anyone in.
00:55:37If Dad tries to get you to play with any of those weird old men, just...
00:55:39I know.
00:55:41I'll just do what he says.
00:55:44I always do.
00:55:45I'm so sick of this E.
00:55:47What if he actually does make me marry one of those guys?
00:55:50I'm never going to let that happen.
00:55:51All right?
00:55:53Look, I'm close to getting the Wand of Light.
00:55:56The Wand of Light?
00:55:59Like, the one from the fairy tales?
00:56:01You can't tell Dad secret.
00:56:04When I get the wand, be ready for my call.
00:56:07I have a plan.
00:56:09I barely know basic spells.
00:56:12I don't know if...
00:56:13You can.
00:56:15I know you can.
00:56:15I know you can.
00:56:17When the time is right, you'll be ready.
00:56:26Call handed.
00:56:44Filling up Bessie.
00:56:46Meet me downstairs when you're ready.
00:56:57Oh, my God!
00:56:59Why do you and Mom always do that?
00:57:01A bit high strung, aren't you, sis?
00:57:05I was just in the middle of thinking.
00:57:07Yeah, and going by your aura, I can guess about who.
00:57:10Very much giving post-orgasmic afterglow.
00:57:13Aw, yeah.
00:57:14Well, you and your little aura reading can go jump in a lake.
00:57:17Oh, aren't we feisty this morning?
00:57:20Your super-hot hubby isn't around, I'm guessing?
00:57:22Or have you already murdered him after catching his dick?
00:57:25I know all the best places to hide a body, by the way.
00:57:29I'm fine, Effie.
00:57:31I know all about Eric Spenson.
00:57:33I'm not stupid.
00:57:34And when we get the wand back...
00:57:36You mean if you get the wand back?
00:57:39We will.
00:57:40And when we do, we'll do the divorce spell.
00:57:43This mark will be gone.
00:57:45I'll go home and marry the best person who serves our family alliance.
00:57:53It's not fair, you know.
00:57:55I know I'm the last person who should be saying that,
00:57:58because it's not like I can change it.
00:58:00But it's not.
00:58:02It's just the way it goes, right?
00:58:04There has to be a way for you to be with who you actually want and be a good heir.
00:58:12Effie, what I want has nothing to do with anything in my life.
00:58:15That's fine.
00:58:17It's what it means to be a sure what.
00:58:19Just remember, repeating it doesn't make it true.
00:58:25All right.
00:58:26Whatever you say, sis.
00:58:28You know best.
00:58:30I know.
00:58:32Give everyone a hug for me.
00:58:34Tell them I'll be back home soon.
00:58:45Last night was the last time.
00:58:47After today, we're done.
00:58:49If I say that enough times, maybe I'll finally believe it.
00:59:02I'll tell you about my plan with the wand.
00:59:06My family's magic is dying.
00:59:08My father's been cashing in on broken promises for years.
00:59:11But he holds most of the power,
00:59:13and me and Sieg would just get the scraps.
00:59:15That's how he controls us.
00:59:18If I could use the wand just once,
00:59:20I could take his power away from the break.
00:59:24I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:59:25I'm trying to save mine.
00:59:26It's the only way that we can be free.
00:59:30That's what you meant by trying to save your family.
00:59:34I was going to tell you the night before.
00:59:36I was going to tell you the truth.
00:59:38And then I was just going to ask if I could use the wand just once.
00:59:42And then I would do whatever you want.
00:59:44Get a divorce, leave you alone forever.
00:59:48Why didn't you tell me?
00:59:51Why didn't you tell me that morning?
00:59:54Maybe things could have been different.
00:59:57I would have asked you to stay.
00:59:59It's a nice idea.
01:00:02But our families have been at war since the beginning of time.
01:00:06Maybe if we were different people.
01:00:09We have different lives.
01:00:11This would have worked.
01:00:13Maybe we can work.
01:00:16Maybe the wand has a spell for that, Eric.
01:00:19A witch can hope.
01:00:27What?
01:00:29Do I have mushrooms growing out of the side of my head?
01:00:31Why are you looking at me like that?
01:00:45Wait.
01:00:46I'm driving.
01:00:47Pull over.
01:01:06You have got to be kidding me.
01:01:14End of the line, witches.
01:01:31Look away!
01:01:44Oh
01:02:03Now's not a good time old man.
01:02:05Well, it sounds like my insurance policy worked.
01:02:09You... you sent the shadow thief?
01:02:12Of course I sent her.
01:02:14Do you think I would trust you to finish the job?
01:02:28Demons are very expensive, you know?
01:02:31But I thought that the Sherwood girl's soul in exchange for the wand was a good enough bargain.
01:02:39Souls of magic users apparently taste better.
01:02:53You said you needed her alive.
01:02:55The Sherwoods will never pay off your debts if you kill their heir.
01:02:58I've reconsidered.
01:02:59Once I have that wand, I will be the most powerful witch alive.
01:03:05Debts won't matter.
01:03:06The stupid Sherwoods won't matter.
01:03:08And as for the girl, well...
01:03:10I don't need her breathing to use her power.
01:03:13I can always marry Sigrid off to form new alliances.
01:03:18Guess you won't be trapped in a marriage after all, son.
01:03:22You're welcome.
01:03:25Go to hell home, man.
01:03:27Go to hell home, man.
01:03:37Take it!
01:03:40No!
01:03:42Your soul will be delicious!
01:03:51I can take Dad's magic.
01:03:53End him.
01:03:54Finally be free.
01:03:59Get off my wife!
01:04:08You'll pay for that, witch!
01:04:21This isn't the last you'll see of me.
01:04:29Hey!
01:04:29Hey!
01:04:30I've got you!
01:04:31You didn't run!
01:04:33You're kidding?
01:04:34I'd be your pretty shitty husband if I let my wife's soul get sucked out by a demon.
01:04:41Eric!
01:04:42You can't get rid of me that easily.
01:04:44No, no, no, no!
01:04:44Stay with me!
01:04:46Eric!
01:04:47Oh my God!
01:04:48Eric!
01:04:49No, no, no, no, no!
01:04:50Stay with me!
01:04:50Oh my God!
01:04:53I can't save you!
01:04:54I don't have my powers!
01:04:57Why didn't you run?
01:04:58You could have saved yourself!
01:05:01I've been saving myself.
01:05:04My whole life.
01:05:06I thought I'd try something new.
01:05:09You idiot.
01:05:10You stupid, stupid idiot.
01:05:13Yeah.
01:05:16But I'm your idiot.
01:05:23You took a divorce spell.
01:05:26I had a promise.
01:05:28Now you're free.
01:05:30Yeah.
01:05:32I don't want to be free.
01:05:35I don't want to be free.
01:05:37I don't want to be with you.
01:05:40Just keep secrets safe.
01:05:42Safe from my father.
01:05:44Safe from all of it.
01:05:48You know, those days in Vegas...
01:05:52We're the best three days of my life.
01:05:54All right, let's get this show started, okay?
01:05:56What do we want?
01:06:00I love you.
01:06:02I love you too.
01:06:05I love you.
01:06:06I love you.
01:06:08I love you.
01:06:11No!
01:06:12No!
01:06:32The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
01:06:42Please, please, please.
01:06:52Eric.
01:06:55Please.
01:06:57Eric.
01:07:05Please.
01:07:09You absolute moron.
01:07:14You absolute moron.
01:07:16Be gentle.
01:07:17I was dead for like ten seconds.
01:07:20You're alive.
01:07:23That is for divorcing me on your literal death bed, you asshole.
01:07:27I thought I was doing something noble.
01:07:29Something cool.
01:07:31The Wand give you your power back?
01:07:34My mom used to say that the wands user grants it its deepest desire.
01:07:39I guess it knew what I really wanted.
01:07:42What did you want?
01:07:45You.
01:07:48Don't scare me like that again, okay?
01:07:52You know, I thought I heard something when I was bleeding out.
01:08:00Maybe you could say it again.
01:08:06Maybe you could say it again.
01:08:10I love you, Eric's Vincent.
01:08:14That's my girl.
01:08:21Let's go.
01:08:35You ready for one last stop?
01:08:38Yeah.
01:08:57Ah.
01:08:59There you are.
01:09:01I knew I could always trust a demon to get the job done.
01:09:05Now, where is my wand?
01:09:08Wait.
01:09:10You're supposed to be dead.
01:09:12Wow.
01:09:13You weren't kidding.
01:09:14He really is evil.
01:09:15I put a barrier around this whole house.
01:09:18It's impossible.
01:09:19There's no way you should be able to be in here.
01:09:21There's always a loophole, old man.
01:09:26Secret.
01:09:27You ungrateful brat.
01:09:29How dare you betray me like this?
01:09:31Really, Dad?
01:09:32Playing the family card after you almost sold me into child marriage?
01:09:36You ungrateful little pests.
01:09:45You're powerless now, old man.
01:09:47Magic's gone.
01:09:48Forever.
01:10:01Eric.
01:10:03Aldous.
01:10:04Svensson.
01:10:04Release me this instant.
01:10:06That is an order.
01:10:09You can handle it from here, right?
01:10:12Those powers are gone.
01:10:13It doesn't scare me anymore.
01:10:16You ungrateful little brats.
01:10:18Both of you will pay for this.
01:10:20You will both pay for this.
01:10:25Yeah, yeah.
01:10:26Talk soon, pups.
01:10:28We're gonna hit the road.
01:10:29I said get back here.
01:10:31I said get back here.
01:10:32Get back here.
01:10:33Please don't do this, you little b-
01:10:36You won't.
01:10:37You won't.
01:10:38You won't.
01:10:49You won't.
01:10:51So, where to now?
01:10:54Should we go and drop off the Wand of Life?
01:10:57Yeah.
01:10:59But there's something I wanna do first.
01:11:02That sounds ominous.
01:11:04just so happens that there's another full moon tonight leona sherwood are you asking me to hand
01:11:13fast marry you yeah i think i am eric spenson well we better hurry if we're gonna take the wand
01:11:22of
01:11:22light home and make it back in time to the hunkah hunkah wedding chapel of love i wonder if they
01:11:28have
01:11:28the same of us i sure hope so but if we're gonna get hand fast married again no more secrets
01:11:34this
01:11:34time so is there anything you want to come clean about now soon to be again husband there is one
01:11:44thing you might want to buckle up we're about to go super speed bestie could have been going super
01:11:51speed this entire time you didn't tell me to make our trip last longer didn't you you know me so
01:11:58well soon to be again wife leona sherwood will you marry me and not because of some spell or because
01:12:08it's your duty but because you want to yes i will
01:12:27ready oh yeah
01:12:36you
01:12:38you
01:12:38you
01:13:02you
01:13:03you
01:13:04you
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