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Host: Nida Yasir
Guests : Mariyam Nafees, Shermeen Ali, Saima Hashim, Sumbul Chandana,
Watch todays’s show as experts share the amazing health and skin benefits of kairi, along with useful home remedies and how it supports wellness, skincare, and healthy hair
Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Timing: Every Monday – Friday at 9:00 AM on ARY Digital..
Guests : Mariyam Nafees, Shermeen Ali, Saima Hashim, Sumbul Chandana,
Watch todays’s show as experts share the amazing health and skin benefits of kairi, along with useful home remedies and how it supports wellness, skincare, and healthy hair
Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Timing: Every Monday – Friday at 9:00 AM on ARY Digital..
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00:00:05This is the morning that comes to your face
00:00:09And when you wake up, it comes to your face
00:00:13And when you wake up, it comes to your face
00:00:14And when you wake up, you wake up and you wake up
00:01:12as
00:01:15as salam alaykum good morning good morning pakistan bhai
00:01:20that I don't want to be angry when I'm going to start a show.
00:01:22This is our program's format today.
00:01:26I'm sitting here and I'm going to talk a little bit about you.
00:01:33Today, we're going to segregate women a little bit.
00:01:37There are some qualities of men, some qualities of women.
00:01:41And they're going to become a couple of qualities.
00:01:46And then, they're going to drive their car.
00:01:54And the way they do.
00:01:55They're going to drive their car.
00:01:56They're going to manage the car.
00:01:57Are they going to do it?
00:01:58and they can't do it.
00:02:00Then, when they're going to ride their cars?
00:02:03It's just a small part of the car.
00:02:05For the kids,
00:02:06and for them,
00:02:09in terms of people,
00:02:09for the families,
00:02:12for the children.
00:02:15Even from them,
00:02:16in terms of somebody,
00:02:17foreign
00:02:47a lot of people have their looks, their age, their weight, their education and many other things
00:02:58which compare them to another woman, they have their insecurities. But it is not necessary that it can't be above
00:03:08it.
00:03:34As-salamu alaykum.
00:03:49As-salamu alaykum as-salamu alaykum.
00:04:22As-salamu alaykum.
00:04:26As-salamu alaykum.
00:04:56As-salamu alaykum.
00:05:22As-salamu alaykum.
00:05:25As-salamu alaykum.
00:06:06As-salamu alaykum.
00:06:09As-salamu alaykum.
00:06:33As-salamu alaykum.
00:07:14As-salamu alaykum.
00:07:25As-salamu alaykum.
00:07:29As-salamu alaykum.
00:07:41As-salamu alaykum.
00:07:44As-salamu alaykum.
00:07:45As-salamu alaykum.
00:08:01Then you can say, no, I know what I am doing.
00:08:05I was pretty all right.
00:08:08I don't think I went through that.
00:08:09I don't think I went through that.
00:08:12I wouldn't call it insecurity, but a level of responsibility in a way.
00:08:18I have a responsibility in a way that a child has a child and a child.
00:08:22You have to grow up.
00:08:24So I think that's a little shaky.
00:08:26I think that when I'm doing it, I don't want to be able to grow up.
00:08:32That is the only factor I would say that I am feeling.
00:08:37That's probably the only thing.
00:08:38I believe you mentioned it's a kind of a fear.
00:08:42Yeah.
00:08:42And insecurity is a fear.
00:08:44Our fear, fear and fear are very deep-rooted.
00:08:49Although, like you said, our parenting has done very confidently.
00:08:53And education has given us, our parents have given us, exposure has given us.
00:08:58But this societal, I would say, the kinds of things in terms of words,
00:09:05you have been so insecure, like, I'm sure you all would agree,
00:09:10when girls say, what will you do with Sussral?
00:09:13You know, so why is Sussral such an important,
00:09:18it can be made so important?
00:09:19Hwa, Hwa, Hwa.
00:09:20Exactly.
00:09:21Basically, it's the right word.
00:09:22If I use it, it can be made so important that it can be made so that we can't be
00:09:28able to live there.
00:09:29But it can be made so that it can be made so important.
00:09:32Because when you go to Sussral, I know of Sussral,
00:09:34which gives you so many tears and so much.
00:09:39That is also true.
00:09:40If you give confidence to your child and don't be scared of them,
00:09:46then I think you will pull it off, Marshallah, beautifully.
00:09:50Because it's fear in your back of the mind.
00:09:52It's fear to make a marriage.
00:09:55And it's not a girl, a girl, a girl.
00:09:58So appearances start at home.
00:10:01They start from childhood and they have not been intentional.
00:10:05Yes, the mothers are talking about love and love.
00:10:09They don't think about their thoughts.
00:10:11So the mothers say,
00:10:12what are you doing,
00:10:13what are you doing, what are you doing,
00:10:15what are you doing,
00:10:15what are you doing,
00:10:16what are you doing.
00:10:18Anyway, all mothers say love and love.
00:10:21But they're trying to fall in their heart.
00:10:24Sharmeen,
00:10:24Why did you have a patch in your life with insecurities?
00:10:28Of course, and I have discussed a long time in your show that I was a very overweight child
00:10:35and this concept of body shaming has come.
00:10:41I didn't feel like this before.
00:10:43There were so many harsh words that used to be used,
00:10:46because people were in their minds.
00:10:48And when I say people, I mean everybody.
00:10:51To family, to family, to friends.
00:10:55I was so unfortunate that I even had teachers who used to mock me for my weight.
00:11:03And because I was so small, I was sitting in my head.
00:11:07It was so traumatizing for me.
00:11:09Even though now I have corrected the situation,
00:11:12I have overcome the issues,
00:11:15but then that insecurity is so deeply rooted.
00:11:20That even when I go outside,
00:11:23and I see that if I look at someone who is watching me,
00:11:27then instantly my mind goes,
00:11:30oh, I'm thinking that I'm fat.
00:11:33Oh, I'm not feeling my body in this dress.
00:11:37I'm wearing a wrong dress.
00:11:38I'm wearing a wrong color.
00:11:39I'm wearing a mask.
00:11:39I'm wearing a mask.
00:11:40I'm going to go on such a negative side.
00:11:43People believe me,
00:11:45can that happen?
00:11:45That's why they like what you're wearing.
00:11:48It looks good.
00:11:49But I can't think like this.
00:11:51My reaction is that
00:11:53I just can't overcome it, I just can't overcome it.
00:12:01Until my relationship starts, when girls grow up and they start to grow up,
00:12:08one or two people have also said that a girl is a big girl.
00:12:12So I live with that insecurity today.
00:12:17And I don't think that I've ever been...
00:12:21You know, I've never seen this bulge, I've never seen this bulge.
00:12:26I can't do it, I've never seen it.
00:12:28You know, I've once told you a show and I've become a lot of online jokes.
00:12:32But there are some traumas that you can't overcome, there are issues.
00:12:38I check my weight every day. I'm not saying it's healthy.
00:12:41I don't want to say that I should do this.
00:12:43But for me, there's so many issues that...
00:12:46This is a phobia.
00:12:47In the past nine years, I've never seen the fluctuation in this situation.
00:12:52Because I'm very obsessive in this situation.
00:12:57And again, I know I need help. I'm not saying it's healthy.
00:13:00I'm not sitting here and saying what I'm doing is right.
00:13:03But this is a problem and I'm living with it.
00:13:06And I will live with it for the rest of my life.
00:13:07It probably constantly triggers you also a lot.
00:13:10I mean, if I get two pounds on the machine, I just sleep in my nights.
00:13:16Literally, it's that bad.
00:13:18Because I've lived with it.
00:13:19It may be that people are passing through such situations, but it doesn't affect them.
00:13:24In the past nine years, Ajaaz Aslam, they were obese.
00:13:27Really?
00:13:28Yes, they were obese.
00:13:30So, sometimes, this trauma is such a thing.
00:13:32They've heard someone else and everything.
00:13:34And they've also heard a story in our show.
00:13:36But we've shared their pictures and I'll show them.
00:13:40So, you see, sometimes, some trauma becomes a positive thing.
00:13:46We've never seen it.
00:13:48They're the most fit.
00:13:50Exactly.
00:13:51So fit.
00:13:51So, sometimes, your phobias,
00:13:55Yes, I'll say that it's better.
00:13:58But to check the weight daily and so much
00:14:01Mental health is also very important.
00:14:03Her society, people around her,
00:14:06they've cultivated it for her.
00:14:08That, you're a big one.
00:14:09I mean, if we are comfortable in our skin,
00:14:13you let the person be.
00:14:15Yes.
00:14:16You know, the person who's big is, he knows he's big.
00:14:19Exactly.
00:14:19The person who's big is,
00:14:20I mean, his insecurities exactly know.
00:14:24If someone's blabbering, he knows he's blabbering.
00:14:26There's no difference between your point-out.
00:14:29Okay, you'll note, people will meet you.
00:14:32You'll say, hey, it's big.
00:14:34It's very big.
00:14:35It's just a mouth.
00:14:37It's very big.
00:14:39It's a bad thing.
00:14:39You always meet someone.
00:14:41It's dark.
00:14:42It's gone.
00:14:43It's gone.
00:14:43They don't feel like.
00:14:48It's gone.
00:15:11It's gone.
00:15:14It's gone.
00:15:15It's gone.
00:15:15It's gone.
00:15:23It's gone.
00:15:26It's gone.
00:15:30It's gone.
00:15:31It's gone.
00:15:33It's gone.
00:15:42It's gone.
00:15:51It's gone.
00:15:57It's gone.
00:15:58It's gone.
00:16:00It's gone.
00:16:03It's gone.
00:16:05and I was so happy that our children have come to break.
00:16:12That's amazing, it's amazing.
00:16:15Do you say anything about insecurities?
00:16:17How do they build it?
00:16:21What do they do?
00:16:24What do they do?
00:16:25You said that insecurities are a very bad thing
00:16:28to try to correct others.
00:16:32This is a very bad thing,
00:16:33but this is a very damaging thing.
00:16:35Life-time people are traumatized.
00:16:38I feel like the first thing is that
00:16:42girls are saying this,
00:16:43when they are in middle adolescence,
00:16:46they are saying that
00:16:47their mood is changing,
00:16:50their mood is changing,
00:16:51this change gives a lot more
00:16:54complaints.
00:16:55Now the change is a different thing.
00:16:58I'm talking about emotional.
00:16:59Where is it?
00:17:00It's very small,
00:17:02when they don't know their expression.
00:17:06Look at that,
00:17:08a girl is standing on the floor,
00:17:10the girl is standing on the floor,
00:17:12she says,
00:17:12she says,
00:17:12she says,
00:17:12she says,
00:17:12she says,
00:17:13she says,
00:17:25she says,
00:17:26she says,
00:17:27she says,
00:17:29she says,
00:17:31to do this.
00:17:32You have to learn from a person.
00:17:34You have to learn from a person.
00:17:35Because when you put this girl's-girls, you have to tag them.
00:17:40That's why these insecurities are more in the girls.
00:17:43How much is it for children?
00:17:45How much is it for children?
00:17:46How much is it for children?
00:17:48You don't eat it.
00:17:49You will stay alive.
00:17:50You will be very poor.
00:17:51You don't have to be able to play.
00:17:55You don't have to be able to play.
00:17:55You are a little older.
00:17:56You say, you have to be born.
00:17:57You have to be born.
00:17:59You can give the children to your child.
00:18:03You have to be born.
00:18:03Those who move and grow up are the same way.
00:18:04When they grow up, they take care of everyday.
00:18:08When you come up with adolescence,
00:18:09when you come to the middle,
00:18:12there is a complexion.
00:18:14The weight of the weight.
00:18:16Don't do it.
00:18:17Don't get out.
00:18:17Don't get out.
00:18:19Don't go out.
00:18:20Don't get out.
00:18:21Don't get out.
00:18:21Don't get out.
00:18:21You ask them to learn that.
00:18:24Look, these things will be taught by mothers.
00:18:26What is the way they learn?
00:18:28What is the way they learn?
00:18:29What is the way they learn?
00:18:29We will also try to learn this together.
00:18:32We will take a little break.
00:18:33We will come back again.
00:18:35How do the insecurities develop?
00:18:37How do the planners learn?
00:18:39This is also very important to know mothers.
00:18:42Good morning, Pakistan.
00:18:43Because it starts with mothers.
00:18:50Welcome, welcome back.
00:18:52Good morning, Pakistan.
00:18:53Today, we are talking about the insecurities.
00:18:57Don't be happy to see your children.
00:19:00You also have a lot of insecurities.
00:19:02That's why I have to design another show.
00:19:05Today, I am only focusing on the insecurities.
00:19:08Okay?
00:19:09So, if you want to go up, then go up.
00:19:12If you want to listen and understand.
00:19:14Because the insecurities, alhamdulillah,
00:19:16have not been created.
00:19:17I was about to say that.
00:19:19In many cases, when women get married,
00:19:23as a brother,
00:19:25you can control a lot of damage and refrain.
00:19:29But when you get married,
00:19:31you have such a big responsibility.
00:19:33As a husband.
00:19:34that you protect your daughter,
00:19:36and your daughter as a father.
00:19:38As a father,
00:19:38protect those insecurities.
00:19:40So, this is equally, I feel very important for men also.
00:19:43Sometimes, we say that the father is a son of a father.
00:19:45That's why we say that the father is a son of a father.
00:19:48Yes.
00:19:49We talked about the last segment,
00:19:51which I wanted to ask you about it.
00:19:53That we have to make a good human,
00:19:56we have to learn manners.
00:19:58We have to learn manners,
00:19:59we have to understand their health point of view.
00:20:03We have to understand how to eat good.
00:20:13and learn about children.
00:20:16So, I have to understand that.
00:20:18As a child,
00:20:18I have to understand that.
00:20:18Parents, first of all,
00:20:19one simple thing to understand is,
00:20:21is that nature is sacred wisdom.
00:20:24There is a diversity in nature
00:20:26and this is by mistake.
00:20:28It is by design.
00:20:30Nature has designed the whole world
00:20:32that the whole person has different ways.
00:20:35The other person is different.
00:20:35The other person is different.
00:20:38The other person has different people.
00:20:38So, what is the whole universe?
00:20:42But if we start to understand from nature, then we will accept that yes, there is something
00:20:50in diversity.
00:20:51First of all, let's accept it.
00:20:53Of course, the upbringing should be very good.
00:20:56They should train them in the future.
00:20:58But not in the name of marriage.
00:21:01A marriage becomes a threat.
00:21:03It becomes a danger of life.
00:21:05What do you do after marriage?
00:21:06How will marriage be?
00:21:09How will marriage be?
00:21:11Literally, it is like marriage is going to be a fight in India.
00:21:16You have become a threat to marriage.
00:21:18The marriage is very complicated.
00:21:21They are complicated.
00:21:23They are like my body, my cooking, my way.
00:21:29Now, parenting is good.
00:21:33They communicate with children.
00:21:36They are like the same.
00:21:39They are like the same.
00:21:40They are like the same.
00:21:41If you have two or three friends, then they are like siblings?
00:21:45Siblings, cousins, neighbors.
00:21:48They are like friends with their children.
00:21:51They are like the same.
00:21:52They are like the same.
00:21:54They are like children, they are like the same hehe,
00:21:57Of the relationship, I can make it out.
00:22:03So, not à couple of times,
00:22:03they want to know about this jax.
00:22:12That is, the Animatrix comes,
00:22:13that the brain bill needs to go.
00:22:15beighed and talk about it.
00:22:17Talk about health issues.
00:22:19Healthy living is necessary.
00:22:21Healthy living is necessary to maintain weight.
00:22:24It is necessary to maintain weight.
00:22:25Healthy eating is necessary to eat.
00:22:27We talk about health concerns.
00:22:30We talk about a spot where they ask questions.
00:22:35You don't need your love, your care, parenting performance based.
00:22:41If you are like this, we will do it.
00:22:43You will do it like that. Don't do it for parenting. It is not that difficult. It is not that
00:22:50difficult.
00:22:51You just need to be genuine.
00:22:54You need to be conscious. Basically, when our children were little, we were not as conscious parents.
00:23:00But like Maryam, Maryam will think a lot of things.
00:23:04She is a new parent. She is aware of her.
00:23:07You talk with your child and tell her. There is a lot of things happening in the background.
00:23:14Nidra, I feel like we have a little bit of ease.
00:23:18We have the internet.
00:23:20As compared to your time, there is a lot of awareness.
00:23:26Our issues will be slightly different.
00:23:30But I feel like if you practice what you preach.
00:23:36If you are constantly triggering those points, then my child will also say,
00:23:39go, you do it yourself first.
00:23:42You do not do those things.
00:23:44So I feel like you need to practice a little bit.
00:23:47Yes, the kids are saying, leave the iPad and we don't leave the phone alone.
00:23:51So they will say that.
00:23:53Nidra, what is irony?
00:23:55I have seen a very interesting thing.
00:24:22Imagine the irony.
00:24:25different things you can use to give some insecurity,
00:24:29and even mock the insecurity,
00:24:30what is the need for that person?
00:24:33If you take some examples,
00:24:35everyone will relate to me.
00:24:37Husbands, they are big, they are big, they are big.
00:24:40Wherever they go to gym,
00:24:41they start to go to gym one day and a half-gню.
00:24:45That's true.
00:24:47Why are they going to gym?
00:24:49I feel that if people say,
00:24:55and why are you not in shape, their ego is very hurt.
00:25:01In fact, they are very big and they are very beautiful.
00:25:04This part is different.
00:25:07Practice what you preach.
00:25:10I know we are talking about weight,
00:25:13but my daughter is a teenager,
00:25:15so it happens a little up and down.
00:25:17So if I see her that she is very skinny,
00:25:20but if she is putting on weight,
00:25:21because I don't want her to go through that,
00:25:24I don't say to her that,
00:25:26you are putting on weight,
00:25:27I instantly apply healthier choices in cooking at home.
00:25:35She is not even aware of what I am doing,
00:25:39but when she has healthier choices,
00:25:40when she is eating healthy,
00:25:42she automatically changes.
00:25:45Obviously, we do mistakes,
00:25:47it is not like we are perfect parents.
00:25:48So, I have told her one day,
00:25:51that you are very tiny,
00:25:53put it in sunblock.
00:25:54She is so offended.
00:25:55She said, I love my skin color.
00:25:57I love my skin.
00:25:58What are you talking about?
00:25:59I have also changed my approach.
00:26:01You say that sunblock is damaging for your skin.
00:26:05The skin is bad.
00:26:06There are so many risk factors.
00:26:07Sunblock.
00:26:08So, you can never teach the child,
00:26:12you can never teach the child.
00:26:13You are in a very different way.
00:26:16Now, your generation is gentle parenting.
00:26:19When I got my daughter,
00:26:21there was no concept of gentle parenting.
00:26:23We have applied that,
00:26:24what we have taught from our parents.
00:26:25When I got my daughter,
00:26:26there is no gentle parenting.
00:26:29There is no time for that.
00:26:30There is no time for that.
00:26:30There is no time for that.
00:26:31This is in the last three to four years,
00:26:32which has been introduced,
00:26:34and I am so happy for it.
00:26:35Yes, somewhere else,
00:26:36there is also a difficult
00:26:36for gentle parenting.
00:26:38Somewhere else,
00:26:39there is also a little damaging
00:26:40for gentle parenting.
00:26:42So, I think you need to balance it out.
00:26:46Yes, balance it out.
00:26:47It is trial and error basically.
00:26:48We try and error,
00:26:50and then we re-correct.
00:26:51But I feel,
00:26:52that we remove fear-based parenting
00:26:54with positive reinforcement.
00:26:56Like we told our children
00:26:58that we don't teach the child,
00:26:59we will give God.
00:27:00No.
00:27:00Or we will go to school.
00:27:01No.
00:27:02If you teach the child,
00:27:03God will open up for you.
00:27:05He will bless you in your life.
00:27:07He will bless you.
00:27:08So, the negative reinforcement
00:27:10is that our children
00:27:12are born to us.
00:27:14They are born to us
00:27:14later on in life.
00:27:16It goes on.
00:27:17Then we have to overcome it.
00:27:18Then we have to struggle
00:27:19again.
00:27:19Insecurity create
00:27:20instead of creating
00:27:22positive aspects.
00:27:23Tell us.
00:27:24If we do this,
00:27:25then how much better
00:27:26will your life will be.
00:27:28So, they also want to do it.
00:27:29So, the other thing is,
00:27:29if you have a friend,
00:27:31your family,
00:27:32anyone,
00:27:32you have to talk about
00:27:34and you have to convey that
00:27:35you have to bother
00:27:36that you have to wait
00:27:37or you have to tell the person.
00:27:39Now, if you have to ask
00:27:40your child,
00:27:40there is a way of communicating.
00:27:42You know,
00:27:43I am concerned.
00:27:44You do this,
00:27:45that you do it.
00:27:45Also, I feel like,
00:27:46you know,
00:27:47you know,
00:27:48you know,
00:27:51I have always been very,
00:27:52very thin.
00:27:53And when I conceived
00:27:55and when I was expecting,
00:27:57I had a lot of weight.
00:27:59Like 25 kg plus,
00:28:01I told you.
00:28:01and I felt like,
00:28:03I look better
00:28:04with some weight on,
00:28:06right?
00:28:06And I have,
00:28:07and that's the way,
00:28:08I did not go back to my old weight
00:28:10because I felt like,
00:28:11I look better with a little bit
00:28:12of mass on me.
00:28:14So, you know,
00:28:15it is not necessary
00:28:15that if a person is very thin,
00:28:17he looks very beautiful.
00:28:19Be healthy.
00:28:20That should be your agenda.
00:28:22Instead of,
00:28:22that you just get dry,
00:28:23you get dry,
00:28:24you get dry,
00:28:24you get dry,
00:28:26you get dry.
00:28:27Okay,
00:28:27one important thing
00:28:28that I want to ask,
00:28:29is that,
00:28:30sometimes,
00:28:31when your child is frank
00:28:32and you have to discuss
00:28:34and you have to discuss
00:28:35every single thing
00:28:36about your heart
00:28:36and when they discuss
00:28:37their insecurities
00:28:38with you,
00:28:40how do they save them?
00:28:43Because now,
00:28:43those insecurities
00:28:44have come in.
00:28:47Okay,
00:28:48well,
00:28:48I have not come here
00:28:49but maybe
00:28:50class fellows
00:28:51bully them.
00:28:52Societal pressure.
00:28:53Social media.
00:28:54Social media.
00:28:56For friends.
00:28:58How do they save them
00:29:00in that age?
00:29:02What is the way?
00:29:04Neda,
00:29:05first of all,
00:29:06when you have to remove
00:29:07anything from someone
00:29:08or any problem,
00:29:10you have to normalize
00:29:10it.
00:29:11That means,
00:29:11not accept,
00:29:12but normalize.
00:29:13First,
00:29:14share your experience
00:29:15with the child.
00:29:16Tell them,
00:29:17yes,
00:29:18it is quite human.
00:29:19We all,
00:29:19at some point in life,
00:29:21are insecure and free.
00:29:23you have to convince
00:29:24their experiences
00:29:27that,
00:29:27look,
00:29:28it was like
00:29:29when we went to college
00:29:30when we went to college,
00:29:31when we went to school,
00:29:33we went to school.
00:29:34It is quite normal.
00:29:35It is quite normal.
00:30:29It is quite normal.
00:30:30I feel like the weakness and the strength is within all people.
00:30:37As a mother, I feel like I have not been concerned with anyone,
00:30:41but as many people come to my show, people learn a lot of things.
00:30:47I've been doing a lot of years, so I've also learned a lot of things from people.
00:30:51My experience is that when my child comes to some insecurity,
00:30:56as a mother, I knew their strength.
00:30:57If they feel that they have weakness, then they have strength.
00:31:04And I have given their strength to help them.
00:31:08I said, why are you losing this?
00:31:11Why do you have that too?
00:31:12You have to take care of them.
00:31:14And polish their strength.
00:31:16So I felt like that thing worked out.
00:31:19I was getting to that, that in my family,
00:31:22because we're very work-oriented women.
00:31:27Especially because we're women-related.
00:31:29So the idea always was that the kids keep in any kind of thing at all times.
00:31:35They're swimming, they're playing football, they're playing cricket,
00:31:37whatever they're doing, so that you have to excel in any kind of thing.
00:31:54That they say that negativity automatically.
00:31:56Sometimes when someone's doing their own work and doesn't excel in any kind of thing,
00:31:59they feel that they don't have any worth, they don't have anything.
00:32:02Or some teacher hasn't said anything like that.
00:32:04Sometimes teachers also keep developing insecurities.
00:32:07They keep moving forward.
00:32:09Teachers are teaching students.
00:32:12They say, you're deaf, you don't understand anything.
00:32:14Or they say, you don't listen to them.
00:32:17Or you don't listen to them.
00:32:19Or you don't listen to them.
00:32:43Or you don't listen to them.
00:32:55Or you don't listen to them.
00:33:04Or you don't listen to them.
00:33:06That's kind of what they're doing.
00:33:07Teachers also kind of...
00:33:12I won't use the word bully.
00:33:14But they start to pressure on a lot of kids.
00:33:17So you also have to understand this.
00:33:20Because they're under pressure.
00:33:23They're very bad for their mental health.
00:33:25Okay.
00:33:27You don't perform in math.
00:33:28If you can do better.
00:33:29Yes, I can get you extra help.
00:33:31Yes, I can sit and do extra hours with you.
00:33:33But you also see that you're very accelerating in other subjects.
00:33:35Now those subjects could be anything. If your child is doing art in art, it is okay.
00:33:42If your child is doing art, it means that he will explore it.
00:33:53My insecurity was that I was 17 when I got married. I did not complete my education.
00:34:01When my husband and I parted ways, I didn't have a degree that I could go and apply.
00:34:06That was the insecurity of childhood, that I got married and the education was not complete.
00:34:11But in practical life, I would encourage my daughter that education is very important.
00:34:21What do you want to do with that and do it in any field?
00:34:27Do whatever you want.
00:34:29I took my insecurity to my child's teacher,
00:34:33that my son's writing is so bad, how do you understand it?
00:34:36His teacher said, I am a teacher, I know how to do his writing.
00:34:41So you are very careful. He is very creative.
00:34:44And today he is the time of typing.
00:34:45He is always trying to practice.
00:34:49Practice it, practice it, practice it, practice it.
00:34:51So he would say that writing is good and not creative.
00:34:55He does not want to be creative or essays.
00:34:57He does not want to realize all things.
00:35:01Nida, this is the only thing.
00:35:02We are unintentionally,
00:35:04our generational traumas are passing on to our children.
00:35:07It is on us.
00:35:08Exactly.
00:35:14And for the longest of time, Nida, when I was growing up,
00:35:17I would say, oh, you are so short.
00:35:19You are very small.
00:35:20I remember one of the uncles in my family,
00:35:23who was not very close.
00:35:25One day he came and he was telling my mom,
00:35:28I felt very close to him.
00:35:30To marry him,
00:35:30because he is small.
00:35:32And at that moment we were very small.
00:35:35We are not only little uncles with aunties.
00:35:37Yes, yes.
00:35:38What happens to them?
00:35:39There are 4 aunties in her.
00:35:40No.
00:35:42Uncles have double aunties.
00:35:43I tell you.
00:35:45I tell you that.
00:35:46I tell you to love it.
00:35:47God don't marry your child in the house
00:35:49without a divorce in her house.
00:35:50There are 4 aunties in her.
00:35:52And she was very difficult.
00:35:53What is good?
00:35:54That is the word perfection.
00:35:56After a break, we will come back again and then we will talk about the children's insecurities.
00:36:01We will talk about the children's insecurities.
00:36:03Good morning.
00:36:09Welcome back. Good morning, Pakistan.
00:36:12We will go back to our topic.
00:36:13But before that, Tepal Green Tea's new flavors.
00:36:18There are two flavors, pineapple and orange.
00:36:21Which is limited edition.
00:36:22You must use it before you get sold out.
00:36:25Because it is obvious that you have so many advantages.
00:36:29You boost your power and metabolic process.
00:36:34You reduce your weight.
00:36:36You help your food.
00:36:39Everyone knows that green tea is more than ever.
00:36:43And there are antioxidants.
00:36:46Which are important for your age.
00:36:50You help your health.
00:36:54We are talking about the insecurities.
00:36:55So, today we are talking about insecurities.
00:36:59And it is obvious that everyone has shared their insecurities.
00:37:02Sometimes in a certain phase of life.
00:37:06And then you often overcome it too.
00:37:09So, let's start with you.
00:37:10Do you have any insecurity in your life?
00:37:14To learn something?
00:37:15Absolutely.
00:37:16When I got married, I got married.
00:37:21I was working.
00:37:23I was working.
00:37:24After my marriage, I left everything.
00:37:26After my marriage, my family and everything.
00:37:28After my marriage, I left everything.
00:37:29After my marriage, I left everything.
00:37:30You have told me that it was like this.
00:37:32I felt like my self-worth.
00:37:34What is my self-worth?
00:37:35What is what I am from myself?
00:37:36After my marriage, I have taken a few of my actions.
00:37:36That was a piece of loss.
00:37:38I'm not doing anything.
00:37:40You are home.
00:37:41You're children.
00:37:42What are my kids?
00:37:44After that, I had done my work on fitness.
00:37:51My passion.
00:37:52That was my profession.
00:37:54So, I was improved my profession.
00:37:55from different places and then as a professional manager. But then what is the insecurity?
00:38:03It's different in every phase. It's not that I didn't work at that time. When I started
00:38:11working, now I don't have time. Now what is the insecurity? Do I have enough time for my children?
00:38:20Do I have enough time for my husband? Do I have enough time for my husband?
00:38:25Or do I have enough time for my husband? Or do I have enough time for my husband?
00:38:27It's a guilt. Mom guilt. Mom guilt as a wife can also be insecure. If I'm not there for him,
00:38:35then take another place. Exactly. It's an insecurity.
00:38:39If you have questions about your self-worth in any way, then it's an insecurity.
00:38:44Insecurity is not about that. If you are overweight, then you are insecure.
00:38:51Insecurity can also be financially. You can also take a relationship.
00:38:55You can also take a career. There are many things. We all deal with insecurity.
00:39:02Are we talking about it or not? This is the thing.
00:39:05How do you overcome? How do I overcome?
00:39:08How do I overcome? Then I have enough time for my children to spend a little bit of time.
00:39:14Now I have enough time for your children to talk about it.
00:39:16Exactly. Time for your profession.
00:39:18Time for your profession. Time for your profession.
00:39:19Sometimes you will also have enough time for me.
00:39:21I don't have enough time for my children.
00:39:24Do I spend quality time for my husband?
00:39:27Because of my job, because of my work.
00:39:29And when our problem comes to word perfection.
00:39:36Perfection doesn't exist.
00:39:38We are running after perfection.
00:39:41That we are perfect.
00:39:43Our problem is that we don't accept our individuality.
00:39:46We don't accept our self-love.
00:39:48And our self-love can be called selfishness.
00:39:52Exactly.
00:39:53Don't make self-love selfish.
00:39:57It is necessary.
00:39:58And I come to my ladies.
00:40:01Every day.
00:40:02It is not that they are not lean.
00:40:05Or they are overweight.
00:40:06They are coming.
00:40:07And I am just lean.
00:40:08After I know how many emotional damages are.
00:40:12They have all the emotional insecurities.
00:40:16To take you, take your family, take your things.
00:40:20After that, only overweight women are insecure.
00:40:24Lean women are insecure.
00:40:26I am underweight.
00:40:28What do I do?
00:40:30My husband says that you are not good.
00:40:33You are very lean.
00:40:35You are very underweight.
00:40:36Every day we are facing women.
00:40:38So, they come to us and say that what do I do?
00:40:41Weight put on?
00:40:43We are talking about overweight.
00:40:46Sometimes it happens that they are young age.
00:40:50They say that we are not able to sit down.
00:40:53We are not able to climb stairs.
00:40:56We are not active.
00:40:58We are not active.
00:40:59We are not active.
00:41:00We are not insecure.
00:41:01People say that we are not active.
00:41:05You are lazy.
00:41:06You are lazy.
00:41:06We are taking our own comparison.
00:41:10We are talking about all the other things.
00:41:12This is the wrong thing.
00:41:14Exactly.
00:41:15This is the same.
00:41:16Exactly.
00:41:17This is the same.
00:41:18This is the same.
00:41:19It is not the same.
00:41:20This is the same.
00:41:21I don't think that we are talking about it.
00:41:21Security is a lot of things.
00:41:30Insecurity is a lot of things.
00:41:34In society, I mean.
00:41:36Well, what's your question?
00:41:36relationship
00:41:37shatm ho gaffi
00:41:39that a partner
00:41:40so insecure
00:41:41that
00:41:42he had to
00:41:42his life miserable
00:41:44over his own
00:41:46or her own security
00:41:47so what do you think
00:41:49how do you deal with that?
00:41:52if
00:41:52where
00:41:53where
00:41:53it's not
00:41:54insecure
00:41:54but
00:41:55it's
00:41:56where
00:41:56it's
00:41:56what
00:41:57the
00:42:00insecure
00:42:00is
00:42:01who
00:42:02his
00:42:02insecurities
00:42:03is
00:42:03over
00:42:04shock
00:42:05the other person is standing up and standing up and making the life of his life.
00:42:10Where are you going? What are you doing? Or where are you going?
00:42:14Maybe your wife is very happy.
00:42:17Open the mic and talk to them.
00:42:20They are checking their messages.
00:42:21They are calling on Instagram.
00:42:23My husband is sitting with your friends.
00:42:25Yeah, absolutely.
00:42:27Or sitting in a meeting, call on video.
00:42:28It means that it's a shame.
00:42:30A man is saying that she is calling on video.
00:42:32No.
00:42:33It means that you are with someone.
00:42:35Whether it's a woman or a woman,
00:42:37if you are insecure and you are in trouble with your partner,
00:42:40it's a very unbearable situation.
00:42:43For 5-6 months or a year,
00:42:45we will not go through this situation.
00:42:47So how do you work on this insecure person?
00:42:51How do you overcome these insecurities?
00:42:54I guess it's a help.
00:42:56If someone understands it,
00:42:58the insecure person knows it.
00:43:28There is no stigma.
00:43:29It's a lack.
00:43:29partner in their experiences. Trauma also has a role model for them. You know, husbands
00:43:37do this. They do this. They do this. Or if they have something with their daughter or
00:43:44their family, they tell me that my mom has done this. So the other's mom is right.
00:43:54And not just that, not just that. If you have any insecurities, any complexes, for instance
00:44:00if my baby is fat, if I have weight issues, then my mind is that I am not good enough
00:44:07because I am overweight. Then you will be sure that I hope he doesn't see any fit girl.
00:44:13No one sees me in the office. No one sees me in a fit girl. No one sees me in
00:44:17a fit girl.
00:44:17He doesn't like my husband. He doesn't like a fit girl. Anything else. And in this
00:44:23way, men also have insecurities. Some people say that I am not earning enough. So then
00:44:28they say that I am not going to leave my baby because I am not able to provide for her
00:44:33the way another man can. So insecurities, it is not necessary that someone is triggering
00:44:37that insecurity, they can be in your own own issues. So I think the one who has insecurity
00:44:42is, if it is better for her family, then it is necessary to go to the therapist.
00:44:48It is necessary to go to the therapist. Sometimes it happens that you choose the right person
00:44:51and the therapist is doing the right person and the therapist is doing the right person.
00:44:54Of course. Of course.
00:44:55The one who has insecurity, he is understanding the right person and practicing it.
00:45:03the right person and the therapist is doing the right person and the therapist is doing the right person.
00:45:07Now, the other person who is suffering, he can talk and communicate.
00:45:12Then, with mutual consent and understanding, you have professional help.
00:45:17Because when he is doing it, he has a lot of confidence.
00:45:19Tell me that I am going to go to the right person for professional help.
00:45:21I am not going to go to the right person.
00:45:22I don't think this is going to go to the right person.
00:45:23No, no. This is not going to go to the right person.
00:45:25Marriage counseling.
00:45:28I didn't mean that we are going to go to the right person.
00:45:30But make mutual understanding so they can do it.
00:45:33But, I personally have seen many cases in my generation and the generation above.
00:45:40This is very different from people. As a third person that you know,
00:45:45because he doesn't judge you, he doesn't judge you, he doesn't judge you.
00:45:47So involving a third party and talking about those things, I have seen a lot of improvement in people.
00:45:53When it comes to parent and child, in that scenario, and in couples, it has really worked.
00:46:00So you say, you should go together? No.
00:46:01Or different sessions? No.
00:46:03The people who go together automatically divide, right?
00:46:07It has really worked for some people.
00:46:12Because we don't have any practice.
00:46:15So you know that for your heart,
00:46:18your friend will go to your best friend,
00:46:22or your mother will go to your mother,
00:46:27or your brother or brother.
00:46:30She will go to her mother,
00:46:32or her daughter,
00:46:33or her best friend.
00:46:37So they start working with them.
00:46:39Then they start working with them.
00:46:42Okay.
00:46:42So you're taking them,
00:46:43they won't be a man of blood.
00:46:45They're a human.
00:46:46Or they'll go through their trauma.
00:46:49And they'll be biased.
00:46:51They'll be biased.
00:46:52You expose your partner,
00:46:55and you're forgetting that you're the boundary of respect.
00:46:58They'll end.
00:46:59If you're my sister,
00:47:00and if I'm going to do it with you,
00:47:02then you don't see it from that perspective.
00:47:05We've made this rule in our house.
00:47:08That we won't talk with anyone.
00:47:10Whatever we want to talk about,
00:47:11on the 25th of every month,
00:47:13we talk about it.
00:47:14That's our anniversary date.
00:47:16That's our anniversary date.
00:47:16So every month of 25th,
00:47:18we go on a dinner.
00:47:19You want to talk about something?
00:47:21You tell me right here.
00:47:22Without any judgement,
00:47:23we discuss it.
00:47:24Instead of that,
00:47:25that it will go to my parents,
00:47:26or your parents,
00:47:28then you'll see it.
00:47:29It will change your attention to others.
00:47:31In this family,
00:47:32if you talk about it,
00:47:34it's not made a secure environment.
00:47:34It's not made a marriage.
00:47:37Like you're talking about the 25th.
00:47:39It's a secure environment.
00:47:40We create a secure environment.
00:47:41So then,
00:47:42our insecurities,
00:47:43we don't go to the wrong places.
00:47:46Okay.
00:47:47Let's move on to your life.
00:47:49The story.
00:47:50Everyone is different.
00:47:51The story is different.
00:47:52My insecurity is just at that time.
00:47:55As you said,
00:47:57I married in 17 and 18.
00:48:00I have been married in 17 years.
00:48:00By the age of 26,
00:48:02I have three kids.
00:48:02I have enjoyed my mother.
00:48:04But when parents grew up,
00:48:06their education was good.
00:48:09I realized that I'd be a outdated mother for them.
00:48:14Since I hadn't married in 17 years.
00:48:16The education wasn't completed.
00:48:19The Cambridge system was changing the dynamics of the education system.
00:48:22The WhatsApp was new and new.
00:48:23The social media platform, the Facebook account started on social media.
00:48:28The technology was introduced, the syllabus was different.
00:48:32So I thought I would be totally outdated. I would be a kitchen mom.
00:48:36You know, a housewife and all that.
00:48:38So by that time, my little girl was so big and so independent
00:48:43that she started with her own homework.
00:48:45She said, I don't need your help now.
00:48:47I thought that I have time for her.
00:48:50So I started to study again.
00:48:52And I will say that, please, you know,
00:48:56that if you have a child, a married, even if you have a daughter's婚,
00:48:59you can learn after that.
00:49:01I have done my daughter's婚 after that.
00:49:03So you have overcome your insecurity.
00:49:06It is my strength now.
00:49:08I feel like I am a student.
00:49:11I am a student.
00:49:12I am learning new courses.
00:49:15I am learning new things.
00:49:16I mean, I am learning new things.
00:49:17I am learning new things.
00:49:17I am learning new things.
00:49:18I have learned a lot about my children myself and my children in the latest world.
00:49:21I am learning information about them.
00:49:24I am not that outdated mother.
00:49:26I was afraid that if I didn't evolve, then what will happen?
00:49:30So I will tell everyone that if you get children or get married,
00:49:33then don't stop yourself.
00:49:35Don't stop yourself.
00:49:37Because what will happen?
00:49:38It will go into depression, gossip,
00:49:41then we won't get involved in politics.
00:49:42You have a success story, right?
00:49:45I am very happy with it.
00:49:47I think I got a very supportive environment.
00:49:50And I think that my daughter,
00:49:52she was born in 18 years,
00:49:54and she was born with her.
00:49:58Because our parents didn't exist,
00:50:01we are not exposed.
00:50:02We didn't have any exposure.
00:50:04In a certain environment,
00:50:06I think I grew up with my daughter.
00:50:08I learned a lot with her.
00:50:10We explored a lot of things.
00:50:12Even though I took my daughter,
00:50:14we only went on the international tour.
00:50:17I am my daughter.
00:50:18And it was so fun.
00:50:20So I will tell you,
00:50:21don't stop yourself.
00:50:23Don't stay in the house.
00:50:24Don't stay in the house.
00:50:26I am managing my own.
00:50:29It's not like eating food or something like that.
00:50:32But again, I am very hands-on.
00:50:33I am going to go with my daughter.
00:50:35Absolutely.
00:50:35And I am going to talk to you with the children.
00:50:37So you can talk to you with the children.
00:50:39Related to us.
00:50:39But if your life,
00:50:40see our life,
00:50:41you can say anything,
00:50:42your own or your own,
00:50:43it is your children.
00:50:44Yes, absolutely.
00:50:46Exactly.
00:50:46So if you are in that circle,
00:50:47you are feeling your feelings,
00:50:49or outdated feelings,
00:50:50then then you are insecure.
00:50:51Look, the mothers,
00:50:53who are living with their children,
00:50:55they are making food for their children.
00:50:58They are making food for their children.
00:50:59I am living with them.
00:51:00The mother is always proving it.
00:51:02Exactly.
00:51:03What do you want to tell us?
00:51:05So Nida,
00:51:05I think that because our society,
00:51:08unfortunately,
00:51:09built like this,
00:51:10that we have emotional strength
00:51:12and emotional pressure
00:51:14since childhood.
00:51:15So I will say that
00:51:17that we have confidence to our children.
00:51:19And you will agree,
00:51:21that from childhood,
00:51:23God will give the gifts of children.
00:51:24Absolutely.
00:51:25Inshallah,
00:51:26all the gifts of children.
00:51:27But this is not a prayer.
00:51:29It is a prayer.
00:51:29It is a prayer.
00:51:30It is a prayer.
00:51:31It is a prayer.
00:51:32It is a prayer.
00:51:33So they are being faithful,
00:51:35their education,
00:51:36they can have better a house.
00:51:39They can build their career.
00:51:41It is a prayer based.
00:51:43God is not worthy of their children.
00:51:47They are equally worthy of their children.
00:51:50They are also equally vulnerable.
00:51:52Yes.
00:51:53We should be confident
00:51:53and you do not compare yourself with someone else.
00:51:56Okay?
00:51:57Do not understand any less or compare,
00:51:59because when you compare yourself,
00:52:01then you feel
00:52:01and then you are more insecure.
00:52:03He has lost weight in 2 months,
00:52:06I will try it from 6 months.
00:52:08And it could be anything.
00:52:08What is your life's insecurity?
00:52:10As I told you,
00:52:12I was bullied by height.
00:52:15And honestly, after marriage,
00:52:17my kids are...
00:52:19all three kids are petite.
00:52:21They are short.
00:52:22And they also bully their peers.
00:52:24They get that a lot.
00:52:26I always tell them that
00:52:28we are confident.
00:52:31You have created
00:52:32that creator,
00:52:34who is the ultimate creator.
00:52:35He can never go wrong.
00:52:37And now, when I give them my example,
00:52:40that when I come to the field,
00:52:41I am an entrepreneur, I am into catering business.
00:52:44So, you know,
00:52:45when I go out for work,
00:52:48people are surprised
00:52:49that you are so young
00:52:52and you manage everything.
00:52:53So, it has turned into my strength.
00:52:55So, I give them an example.
00:52:57It is your strength.
00:52:58Because people understand that you are so young
00:53:00and, mashallah, my daughter is now entering A-levels.
00:53:04So,
00:53:05as you initially said,
00:53:07your insecurities become your strength
00:53:09later on.
00:53:11So, please,
00:53:12work on your self-esteem
00:53:15and always be comfortable in your own skin.
00:53:17So,
00:53:18you are the ultimate creation of the ultimate creator.
00:53:24Alhamdulillah.
00:53:25So,
00:53:25if you are the ultimate creator,
00:53:28you don't know what you are,
00:53:31you are the ultimate creator.
00:53:33You are the ultimate creator.
00:53:33For example,
00:53:35I don't know my name,
00:53:36but I know my daughter.
00:53:38She is a daughter.
00:53:39She is a beautiful woman.
00:53:41But, she understood her very sweet.
00:53:44And, she is the credit to her mother-in-law.
00:53:46Because, she is sitting at her every time.
00:53:49So,
00:53:50like,
00:53:51the third master's student knows how
00:53:54she is a gay daughter.
00:53:56She is a masculine kid,
00:53:57she is not davidably in her mother-in-law.
00:53:58But,
00:53:58whereas,
00:53:59she is a Crown girl in her.
00:54:01The credit to her.
00:54:03Because,
00:54:03she has the son'sProperâ,
00:54:06she is Adrian's child.
00:54:08She loves himself.
00:54:09She loves herself.
00:54:12That's beautiful.�And,
00:54:14Does it feel
00:54:14like each child should feel such a franc? Thank you often.
00:54:16I have confidence that his kind of badness and feelings are like, I am happy.
00:54:26I feel so good that he doesn't matter that his kind of personality is like that.
00:54:34That's how it should be.
00:54:37That's how it should be.
00:54:37That's how it should be.
00:54:37That's how it should be.
00:54:37Our friends are not the best friend of mine.
00:54:43That's how it should be.
00:54:46What's your name?
00:54:47How popular is that?
00:54:51Like, I have a lot of women, and I know some women that are very long.
00:54:58They are very much height.
00:55:01Like, six and six above, right?
00:55:04So, like, look at, and she's beautiful.
00:55:07But the point is that she's also the same.
00:55:10She says, I'm going and I don't make my size clothes.
00:55:12I don't make my size clothes.
00:55:14and you know so there are someone's struggles in life
00:55:18you don't know what they're going through
00:55:21and I always thought you should just be on the ramp
00:55:24so what are you doing?
00:55:25but at the end of the day she has you know
00:55:28very beautifully embraced her height
00:55:30and she says you know she married a very long girl
00:55:33nice
00:55:34she got it
00:55:36but I'm just saying that you know
00:55:37everyone's struggles you don't know what they're going through
00:55:41you are the society we individually and collectively we're the society
00:55:45we have to break these cycles
00:55:47you know we don't have to do such things
00:55:48we don't have to be conscious actually
00:55:50we don't have to be very casually
00:55:53like I said you often say we also have to say
00:55:56what's your friend, what's your name?
00:55:58and the fun thing is we don't go out and go out
00:56:01you say someone out and you will say it out
00:56:05how do you humiliate me?
00:56:06how did we do that?
00:56:07we just drive the bus and keep going on the other side
00:56:10let's see a little bit of break
00:56:12after a break
00:56:13Good morning Pakistan
00:56:19Welcome
00:56:19Welcome back
00:56:20Good morning Pakistan
00:56:21Today we're going to talk about
00:56:23about the insicurities of women
00:56:26We have had a lot of things about children's insecurities and women's insecurities.
00:56:32This is a very important topic which I will disclose now.
00:56:37That when you have married for a few years, you don't have children.
00:56:43When a woman has not been born, she has a very big insecurity.
00:56:49We must talk about that.
00:56:51Many women will see us and see things.
00:56:55One or two days before Mother's Day, she has written a book.
00:57:02She has all the children who call them, they call them, they call them, they call them.
00:57:08They have pictures.
00:57:10She has said that I know I can't become a mother.
00:57:14They are also my children.
00:57:17She treats me like my mother.
00:57:19It was a very good attitude towards her life.
00:57:24She didn't think that she had no idea.
00:57:28She also celebrated Mother's Day.
00:57:30Yes, absolutely.
00:57:34Of course, we can probably not understand what they go through.
00:57:39Because we are probably children here.
00:57:41But one thing that if she is insecure, she knows that she is not being a mother.
00:57:48And she knows that she is the mother of owls, she is a mother.
00:57:57And many women will tell them about that.
00:58:02They will tell them about that.
00:58:06So I just feel like if someone automatically knows, you don't know that.
00:58:12So don't trigger that.
00:58:17That is probably the only thing that I think.
00:58:19That is the only thing that I think.
00:58:22But what do they have three daughters and four daughters in their house?
00:58:26They always say that they don't have a child.
00:58:29No problem.
00:58:31No problem.
00:58:32No problem.
00:58:33I don't know.
00:58:34But in general, the society, like the motherhood,
00:58:40it's tied to identity.
00:58:42That if you don't become a mother, you will not be incomplete.
00:58:46So if you don't have a child,
00:58:48you will directly attack your identity.
00:58:51That it's not a child.
00:58:52It's three daughters.
00:58:53And you have a lot of fears in your mind.
00:58:56Society and many families have a lot of fears.
00:58:59You take a coaching time-making movies.
00:59:00Thankfully, three daughters are good mina.
00:59:06You achieve.
00:59:06That's a smaller nation.
00:59:09That's it.
00:59:20It's doing well.
00:59:22a wife, a daughter is a daughter, all her life.
00:59:25So, and I also see that the children
00:59:27after their marriage, they support their parents
00:59:30when their parents are big. I didn't say that they are good children
00:59:33but they are also good children. But this is
00:59:36very old and we need to eradicate this.
00:59:40In front of us, this is the example of Nabi Kareem
00:59:42Masha'Allah, their children. And they live with their children
00:59:46their children, Bibi Fatima. And they have
00:59:49also set this example, that no child has not
00:59:51understood. There is an example in the world
00:59:54that my favourite person is
00:59:57Again, we don't understand
00:59:58by looking at it. We used to quote the example
01:00:00we used to quote ourselves, but
01:00:03we don't try to highlight these things
01:00:05and understand them. I would sum up
01:00:07I would sum up this, that if anyone
01:00:09if you have these insecurities
01:00:11color-wise, gender-wise,
01:00:14baby-wise,
01:00:15if it is happening or not, I think
01:00:19I think that Allah can be
01:00:21or the one that is not
01:00:23I don't know. There is nothing
01:00:25that I am not in my hands, that I will
01:00:27or my daughter will be
01:00:28or my daughter. So the one who
01:00:29will be pointing out
01:00:30that you will be pointing out
01:00:31or the one that has been
01:00:33not in your hands. But I think
01:00:34that you should think
01:00:34that you have a good deal
01:00:38and that you have a good deal.
01:00:40I don't want to point out my hair, but you don't have color in your hands, you don't have to
01:00:45wear your hair, right?
01:00:48Everyone wants to be a beauty queen.
01:00:49I think that if someone says something on the color,
01:00:52you don't want to say that you are not respectable, you do better your habits.
01:01:00But if you think about the color, the height, the child, the children, the children, the children...
01:01:07You understand this, I understand them.
01:01:09If we discuss this, then we will go to our women.
01:01:14I have said something about this, because somebody said that they are black,
01:01:19I have said that you are black or white,
01:01:22because it is black or white.
01:01:25Without a doubt, if we make a little food, then we will get so bad.
01:01:30Then Allah is our creator.
01:01:32But this is a very sad reality, and this is also a bias to society.
01:01:36When she is not a child, she says that the female is responsible for it.
01:01:39Although female is not responsible for it.
01:01:42You have to prove it from medical science.
01:01:45We also say that the child is a good person.
01:01:50And you also ask that the three children or two children,
01:01:54how many children are, they are so bad.
01:01:58They are so bad.
01:01:58So society has become a norm that within the family,
01:02:01if anything is wrong, in any situation, all are responsible.
01:02:06It is to be blamed.
01:02:07This is not a woman, it is not a woman.
01:02:09Absolutely wrong.
01:02:10Basically, a woman is not responsible, it is a woman.
01:02:13If the woman is a woman, if the woman is a woman is a woman,
01:02:17that one is making a bad thing.
01:02:18As the woman is a woman, if a woman is a woman,
01:02:20it is a woman, if a woman is a woman,
01:02:21if she is a woman, if it is a woman,
01:02:23we make a family, if they are not responsible,
01:02:24if it is the woman, if she is a woman.
01:02:25Yes, because in our classes, there are less people.
01:02:27But now, we have to see, a woman,
01:02:30we are also, a woman.
01:02:31For us, it is the male-dominating society.
01:02:33It's a lazy call. Why do they want to make their children in their homes?
01:02:40Because they don't give so much affection as they give their children.
01:02:44They don't.
01:02:45Every person will be the answer to each person that they will make their homes in their homes.
01:02:50You can make their homes themselves, right?
01:02:52You can earn so much money that your retirement life will be better.
01:02:56No.
01:02:57It's not a financial connection.
01:03:01It's a emotional support, moral support in your older age.
01:03:07The problem is that when a girl is married,
01:03:10she has a family, a baby, a child.
01:03:12It's not necessarily that she will live with you.
01:03:15It's possible that her baby and her children will leave her home.
01:03:21I think that a baby is equal for a child.
01:03:25My parents, Mashallah, had five daughters.
01:03:28I am a fifth daughter.
01:03:30And I think every time they were trying for a boy.
01:03:32Every time they failed.
01:03:33And for many years they had a disappointment too.
01:03:37But I think with time now,
01:03:39Mother has realized that if a child is or a child,
01:03:42there is no guarantee that she stays with her.
01:03:43It's possible that she will go.
01:03:45And Mother doesn't stop.
01:03:46Because she is the right and the baby is the right.
01:03:48If there is no place for whatever they need.
01:03:53It's possible that she is the right and the baby is the right and the baby is the right.
01:03:57So I think that this is our concept.
01:04:00This needs to change.
01:04:02Son or son, they are all equal.
01:04:04Okay.
01:04:04Now, let's talk about this.
01:04:08In many houses,
01:04:10there is insecurity of the child.
01:04:12And what is the insecurity of the child?
01:04:14If the child is married,
01:04:15the baby will take away.
01:04:16Oh my God.
01:04:17Yes.
01:04:17In that insecurity,
01:04:19the child is always very much with the child.
01:04:22But if it is not bad,
01:04:25the child is always put in his eyes,
01:04:27to keep it like this,
01:04:29keep it like this,
01:04:30keep it like this,
01:04:31keep it tight.
01:04:31Then it will go.
01:04:32Or else it will take away.
01:04:34So you will see in many houses,
01:04:37that the child is overdramatic.
01:04:40So she is also living without herself?
01:04:43What do you mean?
01:04:44She is also living with her in-laws.
01:04:47She is also living with her in-laws.
01:04:48She is also a dominating mother.
01:04:50Majority times,
01:04:51what happens with her,
01:04:52she is projecting.
01:04:54True.
01:04:55When she has made her mind make-up,
01:04:57that my mother will be like this,
01:04:59and I have to live in a certain way,
01:05:01tell me how difficult it will be.
01:05:03Before the child's marriage,
01:05:05I talk about the majority.
01:05:06Again, not 100%.
01:05:07It's a fear that my authority will be a challenge.
01:05:10Now,
01:05:11there will be changes in household structure.
01:05:13Because it's obvious that a child is coming,
01:05:15and she will do some changes in her home.
01:05:18Or she will do it.
01:05:19So here,
01:05:20there is also a danger of identity loss.
01:05:23Our house,
01:05:25our house changes.
01:05:27But you can see,
01:05:28in our life,
01:05:29when children get married,
01:05:30they will be different.
01:05:32Because every family needs a separate space.
01:05:37When we all have children,
01:05:38I have actually been married,
01:05:39that she is not even two years old.
01:05:41And I started to thank you,
01:05:43that you know,
01:05:44he is going to grow up in a way,
01:05:45that you know,
01:05:45we will be different.
01:05:47That's beautiful.
01:05:48That's beautiful.
01:05:48The mother,
01:05:49the mother,
01:05:50the mother,
01:05:50the mother,
01:05:51the mother,
01:05:51the mother,
01:05:51the mother,
01:05:52the mother,
01:05:54the mother,
01:05:54So,
01:05:55if you don't have to deal with this,
01:05:57if your house is so big,
01:05:59and you can get a new place,
01:06:01you can get better than that,
01:06:03your kitchen can,
01:06:03you can give a space for your kitchen,
01:06:05that's good,
01:06:06to be the energy,
01:06:07you can pay a space for youres,
01:06:07that the mother,
01:06:09you will set up some things with youres.
01:06:11If your kitchen has a room,
01:06:13it's a right.
01:06:13Yes.
01:06:14You know at the end of the day,
01:06:16maybe better,
01:06:17even better things,
01:06:17I have to bring great things,
01:06:18When people understand this, especially with aunts,
01:06:21that we are in our age, we are just fine.
01:06:24And that's where the damage starts getting.
01:06:26That's also where the damage starts getting.
01:06:29This is bad at home.
01:06:31At a certain age, a woman seems to understand yourself.
01:06:36What do they do with a new IV?
01:06:38That's what happened to us.
01:06:40That's what happens.
01:06:40I wanted to say that, as we were talking about parenting,
01:06:43that we applied a little bit what we learned from our parents.
01:06:47But our generation is unlearned.
01:06:52In a way, toxic behavior,
01:06:55that we have seen in our past.
01:06:57So I'm very happy that,
01:06:59as we have brought many changes in our children's upbringing,
01:07:02our parenting changes,
01:07:03I feel that when our children are married,
01:07:05whether they are sons or daughters,
01:07:07we may not go into these concepts.
01:07:11Now times have changed.
01:07:12Because we need to understand,
01:07:14that's what we need to understand,
01:07:15that every family needs their own space.
01:07:18And I think now,
01:07:19the mothers of the people who don't expect,
01:07:22that their children are coming,
01:07:23that their children are under,
01:07:26and that their children are under.
01:07:27one thing that matters,
01:07:28one thing that matters,
01:07:28one thing that matters,
01:07:30again, in many families,
01:07:31this system is the same thing.
01:07:33You're right.
01:07:34Yeah, it's a lot of families.
01:07:35It's a lot of families.
01:07:36And you know what?
01:07:37Your son is not sitting with you.
01:07:39He goes to his friends.
01:07:39He goes to his family.
01:07:40He's still in his life.
01:07:41After marriage,
01:07:42he goes to his family,
01:07:43and then he changes his family.
01:07:45After marriage,
01:07:46he goes to his family.
01:07:47He goes to his family.
01:07:49He doesn't.
01:07:50He doesn't.
01:07:52He doesn't.
01:07:52He doesn't.
01:07:54Exactly.
01:07:55And when we first socialize our children, I think that what is the desire to do that?
01:08:01I would like to say this to our parents.
01:08:04They have started to tune you from now.
01:08:07You have to tune you from before your children.
01:08:10And please, leave a way to get busy for yourself.
01:08:15You have all your life, kitchen, house, everything.
01:08:19You have grown to the kids, you are very busy.
01:08:23You are very busy.
01:08:26If you are home, you are a family.
01:08:27You are a family.
01:08:29You are a family.
01:08:30It is a family.
01:08:31It is a family.
01:08:33So, don't give a family to you.
01:08:36You can get busy in your life.
01:08:39You can start working in this age.
01:08:42You are sitting in your house.
01:08:45You will be right in your house.
01:08:47You will be right in your age group.
01:08:49You will be right in your house.
01:08:50You will be right in your house.
01:08:51You will be right in your house.
01:08:54You will be right in your house.
01:08:54But in every time, there were such women.
01:08:58I am sure.
01:08:59My daughter, she is, mashallah, 70 years above.
01:09:04She has her daughter, Aman is the only child.
01:09:07She has given her daughter after marriage.
01:09:08You live.
01:09:09And we also say,
01:09:10Amiabu, you live with us.
01:09:11They are not with us.
01:09:13You are alone.
01:09:14We are alone.
01:09:15You are alone.
01:09:15Come and meet.
01:09:16Take Issa.
01:09:17And that is how we live.
01:09:19So, she is also going to be like this.
01:09:22And I must give credit where it is due.
01:09:25When I was married,
01:09:28that was a joint family system.
01:09:30There were two, three, four brothers.
01:09:32But my mother-in-law,
01:09:36I was very proud of you.
01:09:37She is an exemplary woman.
01:09:38I have no such woman.
01:09:40I have never seen such woman.
01:09:42She has never had to have any problem.
01:09:44She does not interfere with a woman in life.
01:09:46She does not only love.
01:09:47And when you have your very love,
01:09:50You know, you will respond like this.
01:09:53Meikle,
01:09:54Meikle,
01:09:54Meikle,
01:09:54Meikle was watching a real woman.
01:09:55There was a woman sitting in the kitchen
01:09:58and she made a real woman.
01:10:00She says,
01:10:00I get the work from my house at 5h30.
01:10:03The child takes me, and the child gets your child.
01:10:05I can take it to my house.
01:10:06I can take a little bit of time.
01:10:08I can take it to sleep at 5h30.
01:10:10It's like my house at the morning,
01:10:13I can take my house at 7h30.
01:10:15My child takes my house at 7h30.
01:10:18I can take my house at 12h30.
01:10:20I can still take the rest of the morning.
01:10:20And now I can still do anything.
01:10:22At that time, the sleep is necessary.
01:10:26and if they showed kindness at that time,
01:10:31then it will not happen that when they give their help
01:10:33or they will not do bad, you will not do it automatically.
01:10:40Because they have a good idea to meet their needs.
01:10:43This is my job.
01:10:44At that time, you are still trying to keep your children
01:10:47when you are young, you will give me 2 hours.
01:10:50You are not satisfied with that.
01:10:52If anyone is in the lowest time of your work,
01:10:56then you will be indebted for life.
01:10:58It's human nature.
01:10:59Exactly.
01:11:00When they have a break, you do it yourself.
01:11:03You do it yourself.
01:11:03You do it yourself.
01:11:04I have done it.
01:11:05After a short break,
01:11:07after a short break,
01:11:07after a short break,
01:11:08good morning Pakistan.
01:11:14Welcome back.
01:11:15Good morning Pakistan.
01:11:16We are talking about insecurities.
01:11:17you are talking about insecurities,
01:11:18and now a certain insecurity,
01:11:21as I think my life is making them become an impact.
01:11:25You get married,
01:11:26and you have not married.
01:11:27You have married yourself.
01:11:29You have married in a bigger world.
01:11:31You have married yourself,
01:11:32this is also a great insecurity.
01:11:34And everyone asks you to get married,
01:11:36when you are young,
01:11:37when you will have a child,
01:11:37you start to face your mind,
01:11:42you will not stop that.
01:11:43You have married your marriage.
01:11:46They look at their wedding, but it's the same as a girl.
01:11:47It's different than the girls that look.
01:11:50They look at red flags when they see married and their parents.
01:11:53Until they see, they don't have any red flags.
01:11:56They're watching them.
01:11:56If they're written and they're intelligent,
01:11:59then the parents are here,
01:12:01they're like,
01:12:01I'm mad.
01:12:02You're watching your choices.
01:12:04And you're watching your Entscheid,
01:12:06you're not about to compromise.
01:12:07Or because they get married,
01:12:09who will do this?
01:12:10So we're both considering the complex of their parents.
01:12:15If you have a great age and you don't get married, it's a different insecurity.
01:12:20This is because you are ready for marriage.
01:12:23You are ready for marriage.
01:12:28So, imagine that if you don't get married and I will say that it's a great age.
01:12:33But if you think that the age will become more than that,
01:12:38people start to say that it's a great age.
01:12:39So, the fear of being left behind.
01:12:44That I will go back from people.
01:12:46Because these things happen in my house.
01:12:47That my cousin got married.
01:12:49She was a little girl.
01:12:50And the big aunties tell me,
01:12:52you were four kids.
01:12:55Okay, you were four kids.
01:12:57But what did you do in your life?
01:13:01They told you.
01:13:02So, social comparison has also taken care of the girl.
01:13:07They are constantly comparing yourself.
01:13:10No one will say that.
01:13:11But they are internally comparing them.
01:13:15I know so many boys.
01:13:17I will say that 40 and above.
01:13:21They are sitting quietly and chilling.
01:13:24We will get married when we get married.
01:13:26Yes.
01:13:26I know that girls are born.
01:13:29There is a science behind it.
01:13:32Biological clock.
01:13:33But biological clock is somewhat for girls.
01:13:37Yes.
01:13:38If our eggs are deteriorating, so are the boys.
01:13:43Healthy.
01:13:43Yes.
01:13:45But they have a little margin.
01:13:48Yes.
01:13:48Exactly.
01:13:49We are also thinking about it.
01:13:50But I still feel that,
01:13:51because of that margin,
01:13:54that girls don't get married in a wrong way.
01:13:57Yes.
01:13:58What they have written in the book,
01:14:00I have written in the book,
01:14:01I have written in the book.
01:14:02Yes.
01:14:02Just because,
01:14:03when a child gets married,
01:14:04when a child gets married,
01:14:05when a child gets married,
01:14:08they become a responsibility for you.
01:14:10Yes.
01:14:10Yes.
01:14:11So,
01:14:12you know,
01:14:13it's a,
01:14:14in my family,
01:14:15my mother wanted to marry soon.
01:14:17But of course,
01:14:18there was no pressure as such.
01:14:20They said,
01:14:20okay,
01:14:21let's look at it.
01:14:21According to her,
01:14:23I was a decade late.
01:14:25Oh.
01:14:26A decade.
01:14:27Ten years late.
01:14:28Oh my God.
01:14:29in her,
01:14:30apparently in her timelines.
01:14:32But,
01:14:32I have married with her,
01:14:33and she says,
01:14:35yeah,
01:14:35if I am married,
01:14:37somewhere wrong,
01:14:38then,
01:14:39by now,
01:14:42they will be married.
01:14:44You know,
01:14:45mom,
01:14:45they have also got pressure
01:14:47when children get married.
01:14:48But,
01:14:49don't get into this thing,
01:14:50you know,
01:14:51if to marry quickly,
01:14:52then they are wrong.
01:14:53If you are not married,
01:14:53That's right.
01:14:54Do not do the stuff in life.
01:14:56One day,
01:14:56then one day,
01:14:57it will be married.
01:14:58And the thing,
01:14:59it will be married.
01:14:59When can you say,
01:15:00I am married.
01:15:01Because of the life in life.
01:15:27And I used to talk with my daughter, so I tell her this,
01:15:42I said, I'll do the same thing.
01:15:44I have to say that I'll work with my daughter.
01:15:45I'll work with my daughter, and I'll work with my daughter.
01:15:45I'm going to say that everything is together.
01:15:48I'm not saying that you'll make a marriage,
01:15:51but I'm not saying that you'll make a whole career.
01:15:55and after that you have to do it.
01:15:58I said, no.
01:15:59Give together.
01:16:01Because people are multitasking.
01:16:02Balance.
01:16:03Balance is very important.
01:16:05I give them my example.
01:16:07I say, look, I have completed my career.
01:16:09I have developed you.
01:16:11I have married.
01:16:12I have done everything.
01:16:13So, I understand that.
01:16:16As you were saying.
01:16:17When do you have time for your husband?
01:16:20When do you have time for your children?
01:16:22When do you have time for your career?
01:16:22When do you have time for your career?
01:16:24When do you have time for your career?
01:16:26So, then you balance your life.
01:16:28So, you have to say that your ultimate goal is a good relationship.
01:16:34What will you give the mother to the child to give the children
01:16:39and not the teachers so that they don't feel more age?
01:16:43What is the difference between age?
01:16:45How do you feel more age?
01:16:47Many people fail and fail.
01:16:49They give 4 or 3 retakes in the metric
01:16:54Gapier is not so bad if you have reasons
01:16:56No, the reason gapier is that their relationship will come
01:17:01They will say that they are already studying
01:17:03They will send a relationship so that they are young
01:17:06Look, women have cultivated that we need a small girl
01:17:10That we can mold from our own
01:17:13A woman is coming, she is her personality
01:17:16She is a human being
01:17:18You are not taking a doll
01:17:19I have a sense
01:17:22If my son will like a girl
01:17:25Or when I discuss her
01:17:27I feel that as much as she is written
01:17:29If she is out, she doesn't need a girl
01:17:33She has so much awareness and mature
01:17:36She has so much support
01:17:38She has a small girl
01:17:40She has not left from the earth
01:17:42She doesn't know about the world
01:17:44She will make a girl
01:17:45That she will create a girl
01:17:47She can have a girl
01:17:50She will make a girl
01:17:51She can have a girl
01:17:52And she will become a girl
01:17:54And she will make a girl
01:18:00and we have to do it in our own way.
01:18:01So I think our house is better.
01:18:04Let's do it in our own way.
01:18:05Let's do it in our own way.
01:18:07We have to do it in our own way.
01:18:08We have to do it in our own way.
01:18:10If they have to do it in our own way.
01:18:13So that's how you can rely on your children.
01:18:18You think that today is the case that if the girls are out there,
01:18:21they are prepared to marry their parents.
01:18:24And then they say we will not marry that girl.
01:18:26And they have to marry that girl.
01:18:27So, this is still happening.
01:18:29In today's time.
01:18:31So, why do you marry the parents?
01:18:34Yes.
01:18:35You are wrong with someone,
01:18:38someone who has helped him with his father.
01:18:41You can think that you will do it in your own way.
01:18:45And also, I feel like you will do it in your own way.
01:18:49You will have to come.
01:18:50Absolutely.
01:18:51Whether that girl is a child or whatever.
01:18:55I will work with you,
01:18:57Thank you, thank you very much for your support of Africa.
01:19:01Today's basically program was on insecurities.
01:19:04And we shared our own insecurities with you.
01:19:07There is no one who doesn't have insecurity.
01:19:09Someone has less or more.
01:19:12Someone is so proud that they can overcome themselves.
01:19:15They can overcome themselves.
01:19:17And basically, we have come alone in this world.
01:19:19We have to go alone.
01:19:21So we have to face alone.
01:19:23We have to face over the world.
01:19:24We will be on our own,
01:19:25We will be on our own,
01:19:25We will be on our own.
01:19:26So we will be on our own.
01:19:28To make it that you can also overcome ourselves.
01:19:32We will be on our own.
01:19:34Good morning Pakistan,
01:19:35Good morning Pakistan.
01:19:36I will be on our own.
01:19:41I will be on our own.
01:19:47Hello there.
01:19:47I will be on our own.
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