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Short filmTranscript
00:00:25Jesus, Mom, can you at least warn me when you're going to do that?
00:00:30please oh please don't be such a child do you still have the wand of light
00:00:45see the all-powerful magic heirloom still safe and sound no you should be more careful
00:00:51the wand of light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires yeah and if it falls into
00:00:58the wrong hands it would become the most dangerous weapon in the world but a marriage to another
00:01:05noble witch family would only strengthen your power yeah less than evil Svensson right
00:01:12the Svensons are our worst enemies Leona do you know how much our family has suffered over the
00:01:18centuries because of them I know sorry you are the guardian of the wand of light Leona and you
00:01:27can't reach your full potential until you marry and succeed me as head of the family come home
00:01:34with a husband next week or I will pick one for you what mom no please don't Leona Sherwood you
00:01:41are
00:01:42getting married whether you like the boy I pick or not mom understand
00:01:49don't worry mom I'm the responsible daughter remember
00:02:01okay Leona Sherwood this is your last weekend of freedom
00:02:09for two more nights
00:02:10you guys fuck my responsibility I'm gonna have some fun
00:02:27thank you that would be 25 dollars
00:02:31I think you mean it's on the house right right it's on the house
00:02:57there you are little Miss Sherwood
00:03:06where the hell are you I'm in Vegas like I said it would be old man
00:03:09hey don't you get smart with me you little
00:03:11shit remember your mission seduce the Sherwood heir and marry her and then that whole obnoxious
00:03:18family will be there to pay off our debts you mean your debts
00:03:22quiet it's bad enough that I have a sorry excuse for an heir you are an embarrassment to the
00:03:28Spence in name now if you don't marry the Sherwood girl like I told you I am going to sell
00:03:34your
00:03:35little sister off to old Fitzgerald to be his fourth wife
00:03:39dad secret is just a kid when I want your opinion I will ask for it until then you shut
00:03:45up and do
00:03:46as I say do you understand yeah I understand good and you keep practicing you sound god-awful
00:03:57it's the heartless fucking bastard
00:04:13it's two of us
00:04:15you're saying you don't remember me
00:04:17who remembers shipping in his dumb teens anyways
00:04:20no way
00:04:21totally
00:04:22I love that show
00:04:23I watched it in one sitting at like 2am
00:04:26this is one of my favorites
00:04:27it definitely doesn't get the love that it deserves
00:04:29but I think it's one of the best ones
00:04:31really
00:04:33I never begged you for a sappy romance kind of guy
00:04:38looks can be deceiving
00:04:44the wand of light
00:04:46so it does exist
00:04:48maybe I'm just jaded
00:04:50it's hard to believe that love like that actually exists in real life
00:04:53why not we're witches monsters and magic exist in our world
00:04:58why can't true love
00:05:01I am lily by the way
00:05:04lily collins
00:05:08eric phillips
00:05:09nice to meet you lily collins
00:05:12damn he's hot
00:05:13and I'm in vegas
00:05:15I deserve a little fun
00:05:16well eric phillips
00:05:19I'll be in the poker room tonight
00:05:21maybe I'll see you there
00:05:22maybe
00:05:26I'll be in the poker room tonight
00:05:42okay Svinson
00:05:44don't fuck this up
00:05:45don't fuck this up
00:05:59Eric motherfucking Svinson
00:06:01excuse me
00:06:01you ghost me for three months after sleeping with me
00:06:04and you think you can sit there and act like nothing happened
00:06:07I think you've got me confused with someone else
00:06:09don't gaslight me Svinson
00:06:11I know exactly who you are
00:06:26you know who she is
00:06:28I think she's got me confused with someone else
00:06:35thank you
00:06:43you nervous
00:06:44not at all
00:06:47you can always fold you know
00:06:49I'd hate to send you home empty-handed
00:06:53not a chance
00:06:55I'm here to win
00:06:57you sure
00:06:58seems like your focus is somewhere else
00:07:01oh
00:07:02I am
00:07:04very focused
00:07:07are you guys done making good eyes at each other or what
00:07:12you're full of
00:07:13you're full of shit Phillips
00:07:13I call
00:07:15yeah there is no way that you have this
00:07:18but don't worry
00:07:20I'll let you go another round
00:07:22once I beat you
00:07:23actually
00:07:24I think I'm about to hit the jackpot
00:07:29Eric
00:07:50I've wanted to do that
00:07:51since I saw you by the pool in your bikini
00:07:53Eric
00:07:54everyone can see
00:07:56do you want me to stop
00:08:12let's see
00:08:13let him watch
00:08:16give him a show
00:08:28wait please don't stop
00:08:31use your words
00:08:33tell me what you want
00:08:34I want your tongue inside me
00:08:37please
00:08:38that's a good girl
00:08:41oh
00:08:45Eric
00:08:49wait
00:08:49wait
00:08:50wait
00:08:50I think I'm gonna
00:08:53was that some kind of vision
00:08:58no
00:08:59that was from him
00:09:08lucky son of a
00:09:10bitch
00:09:10beginner lux
00:09:12let's see you do it again next hand
00:09:14no can do
00:09:16I have a date with a
00:09:18very pretty lady
00:09:24why do I have the feeling that you're not exactly as you present
00:09:28Eric
00:09:29Phillips
00:09:31it is
00:09:31it is Vegas
00:09:33isn't that part of the fun
00:09:46what do I have the feeling that you're not going to do it again next time
00:09:47it wasn't very nice of you
00:09:49to tease me with your strap of your dress during our game
00:09:52hmm
00:09:53it's very distracting
00:09:57well you know it wasn't very nice of you
00:10:00to send me that little vision during our game
00:10:03I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview
00:10:13Eric there are people
00:10:15and if you're quiet
00:10:17they won't see you
00:10:21I should stop
00:10:22this wasn't how the plan was supposed to go
00:10:24you knew you were right before
00:10:26I'm not who I say I am
00:10:28and who out there is exactly as they present
00:10:32but I am
00:10:33look I don't care who you are outside of this
00:10:36for once in my life I
00:10:39I just want to forget about everything
00:10:42just live in the moment
00:10:44and I think you
00:10:47can help me do that
00:10:55remove the camouflage
00:10:57I want you to see you
00:10:59the real you
00:11:02but then you'll know who I am
00:11:04I already know who you are
00:11:07the real you
00:11:09wants to let go
00:11:15no one's ever looked at me like that
00:11:18he really wants me
00:11:20the real me
00:11:21fuck
00:11:23you are gorgeous
00:11:27i want you eric
00:11:30i need you
00:11:35spread your legs for me
00:11:41keep your eyes open
00:11:44i want you to watch yourself
00:11:46come
00:11:47come all over my fingers
00:11:53keep your eyes open
00:11:59i thought you said that they couldn't hear me
00:12:02they can if you stay quiet
00:12:04keep your eyes open
00:12:05or i'll stop
00:12:10that's a good girl
00:12:12that's a good girl
00:12:13went down in my head
00:12:18oh my god they hurt me
00:12:21i can't
00:12:23just relax
00:12:24i can't eric
00:12:41i can't wait to put my mouth on you
00:12:53i can't wait to put my mouth on you
00:12:57go
00:12:57fire
00:12:58one
00:13:00one
00:13:02four
00:13:04two
00:13:07four
00:13:28I can't believe I just came on his hand in front of other people.
00:13:33I think this is your floor.
00:13:41I'll be at the fountain tomorrow at 8 o'clock.
00:13:45If you decide that you want more.
00:13:47See you there.
00:13:58How did he know what floor I was on?
00:14:05So you've told me all about your wild sister and the things that she's done.
00:14:11What about you?
00:14:15I'm the responsible sister.
00:14:17The boring one, if you will.
00:14:20And I do what I'm supposed to do.
00:14:22Follow the rules and all that good stuff.
00:14:25I don't believe you.
00:14:26I do. I mean, I know how you are in an elevator.
00:14:29Oh, come on.
00:14:32Come on.
00:14:34It's Vegas.
00:14:35Let me be your bad influence.
00:14:37Just for tonight.
00:14:41So, any bad ideas?
00:14:47Just one.
00:14:54What are you doing?
00:15:12No games.
00:15:13Just fuck me already.
00:15:15I thought I would try to woo you first.
00:15:16Consider me wooed.
00:15:18Then we could take it slow?
00:15:19Oh, your lips say one thing.
00:15:21But your body says something else.
00:15:35Wait.
00:15:37Shit.
00:15:39I almost lost my cool.
00:15:40I gotta remember the plan.
00:15:44Oh, my God.
00:15:45I can't believe I just did that.
00:15:47That was so embarrassing.
00:15:48This is why I don't do crazy shit.
00:15:50That was way too much.
00:15:51Hey.
00:15:52You're never too much.
00:15:54You don't understand, Eric.
00:15:56Okay, if my family saw me do any of that, they would freak out.
00:15:59Tonight's not about your family.
00:16:01Tonight's about you.
00:16:02Remember?
00:16:03Forget what everyone else has told you to do.
00:16:06Do something that you want to do.
00:16:08Something no one would expect.
00:16:10Maybe he's right.
00:16:12I've spent my whole life doing what my family's told me to do.
00:16:18For once in my life, I'm doing something for myself.
00:16:22She spotted the chapel.
00:16:25Just like I planned.
00:16:29So, are you, uh, you sure about this marriage thing?
00:16:32It's only temporary.
00:16:34Okay, and old magic is weak.
00:16:35The hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning.
00:16:39So, are you ready for a holy matrimony?
00:16:42I'm ready if you're ready.
00:16:45Come on.
00:16:49Let's go.
00:16:55You're nervous?
00:16:58Just, never been married before.
00:17:07Uh, it's my sister.
00:17:08I need to take this.
00:17:09Oh, yeah, take your time.
00:17:11Elvis here wants me to pick out a hand fast bouquet.
00:17:14Hey, mama, let's get some flowers for you.
00:17:15Come on.
00:17:15Let's do it.
00:17:17You need to come home, now.
00:17:19I can't, secret.
00:17:21Eric, Dad's up to something.
00:17:22He invited Fitzgerald to the house and made me dress up.
00:17:26He looks at me weird.
00:17:27It really freaks me out.
00:17:28You were my big brother, E.
00:17:30I need you here.
00:17:32Listen, I can't leave right now, but I promise when I come home, I'll have enough power to
00:17:36get rid of Dad forever, okay?
00:17:41Hey.
00:17:43Is everything okay?
00:17:45Yeah.
00:17:48Yeah, it's fine.
00:17:51You, uh, you sure about this?
00:17:54It's only temporary.
00:17:56Come on, we'll be laughing about this for years.
00:18:02Let's go.
00:18:18Right, only temporary.
00:18:20Unless you get hand fasted under a full moon, then the hand fast bond is nearly unbreakable.
00:18:26But she doesn't know that.
00:18:27And once she does, she'll hate me.
00:18:31Is your sister okay?
00:18:33Is something wrong?
00:18:36Nothing's wrong.
00:18:37We're about to get married in Vegas by Ovis.
00:18:40What could possibly be wrong?
00:18:43All right, you ready to rock and roll, you hunk-a-hunk-a-hot couple?
00:18:47Let's get this show started.
00:18:49Woo!
00:18:50Woo!
00:18:51Woo!
00:18:51Woo!
00:18:51Woo!
00:18:52Woo!
00:18:53Woo!
00:18:54Woo!
00:18:55Woo!
00:19:02Woo!
00:19:02Woo!
00:19:02Woo!
00:19:04Woo!
00:19:05Woo!
00:19:05Woo!
00:19:09Woo!
00:19:16this is it i have the wand of light the most powerful object in the world
00:19:22if i leave now i could use it to take control away from my father
00:19:27set secret and eye free
00:19:35but i already betrayed her once
00:19:40so
00:19:55so
00:19:56so
00:20:01so
00:20:06so
00:20:09so
00:20:19i'll have to get more chocolate strawberries be back
00:20:22soon
00:20:32it's only temporary okay and old magic is weak the hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning
00:20:39that's weird the mark should have worn off by now
00:20:51so
00:20:51so did you marry the girl yet
00:20:56no it's complicated
00:21:00complicated or distracted you were sent there to marry the sherwood
00:21:06and bind her power to this family not to play house you're a svensson act like one
00:21:12eric is a svensson i married my family's worst enemy
00:21:18i don't need you to tell me what i am
00:21:20then stop hesitating
00:21:22if the rumors about the wand of light are true we might catch an even bigger prize
00:21:27so hurry up and marry the sherwood girl and then bring her to me
00:21:33idiot
00:21:41he's been lying this whole time
00:21:49i need to tell her the truth
00:21:53you
00:21:53you
00:21:54lying piece of
00:21:54troll shit
00:21:56you didn't want me you just wanted the
00:21:57fucking wand didn't you
00:22:01i didn't even know the wand existed until i met you
00:22:03you still lied to me eric
00:22:04you knew i was a sherwood from the
00:22:06start that's why you gave me a fake fucking name right
00:22:09okay i i did but that was before we
00:22:11why before before you decided to mess with me
00:22:13get your dick wet before you ruin me and my family forever
00:22:16i'm not trying to ruin your family i'm trying to save mine
00:22:19i know all about you svensson's
00:22:22all you do is lie and cheat and steal to get whatever you fucking want
00:22:27i should have caught it at the poker table but
00:22:29your little tricks won't work on me this time
00:22:32the hand fast mark it'll fade
00:22:35just like you just like whatever this was
00:22:37the hand fast wasn't a trick not that part
00:22:40not with you
00:22:43it doesn't matter eric
00:22:44you will never
00:22:46ever
00:22:47get the wand
00:22:49lily
00:22:49what
00:22:51when this fades eric
00:22:53i will never have to see you again
00:23:08so
00:23:08that didn't happen
00:23:12my older sister effie told me that the mark would fade a week later
00:23:17then a month went by
00:23:19then
00:23:20well
00:23:25see this is where you don't fuck with old magic
00:23:27it's all fun and games so there's a full moon
00:23:30then it's the most powerful magic in the universe
00:23:37apparently getting hand fast married under a full moon creates a bond that's almost unbreakable
00:23:44also apparently the almost part means that both people have to perform the divorce spell
00:23:51i tried calling
00:23:53i tried calling
00:23:54texting
00:23:55sending flying monkeys
00:23:57nothing
00:23:57not a single word
00:23:59from my beloved husband
00:24:02for half a year
00:24:12yes
00:24:13i still sleep with a wand under my pillow
00:24:15the emotional ass whooping i got from my mother for getting hand fasted to a stranger
00:24:20was bad enough
00:24:22no one can ever find out that i almost lost the wand too
00:24:25i just need one night
00:24:27to sleep without
00:24:30thinking about him
00:24:54who are you?
00:24:55what do you want with the wand of light?
00:24:58nothing
00:24:59i'm just here to collect my payday from my client once i bring him that wand
00:25:04payday
00:25:06someone sent you
00:25:07who?
00:25:08fred i can't break client confidentiality
00:25:10sorry sweetie
00:25:13well i'm afraid that you chose the wrong witch to fuck with tonight
00:25:29be wise not to fight back witch
00:25:31you're in over your head
00:25:34i'd rather die than let you take the wand
00:25:39suit yourself
00:25:51what the fuck?
00:25:55what the fuck?
00:26:09that means she has the wand
00:26:11i got the wand
00:26:12i'll get the rest later
00:26:16no!
00:26:20you are the reason i lost the wand
00:26:22who are you?
00:26:29the hand fast mark
00:26:33hello wife
00:26:35miss me?
00:26:39what are you doing here?
00:26:41well you know i thought i'd spice up our marriage
00:26:43do a little role playing
00:26:44but it looks like you're more into bondage
00:26:46i didn't know you were so kinky
00:26:48shut up
00:26:52you should be thanking me i did just save your house
00:26:55thanking you?
00:26:56you're the reason my family's most powerful heirloom is gone
00:26:59how did you even find me?
00:27:02wait a minute
00:27:04you were trying to steal the wand too weren't you?
00:27:07maybe
00:27:09god you slimy tote face motherfucker
00:27:13okay first you tricked me into marrying you
00:27:15then you ghost me for six months
00:27:17and now you come in here like a goddamn fucking cartoon burglar
00:27:21and try to take my wand
00:27:23look i was just gonna borrow it
00:27:25yeah for one of your dirty no good spends and schemes
00:27:28i i just i need it
00:27:31okay it's
00:27:32it's the only way that we can be free
00:27:35look my dad doesn't know about our marriage
00:27:38not yet
00:27:39but he knows about the wand
00:27:40if he gets a hold of it
00:27:41he's gonna sell it to the highest bidder
00:27:43whoever controls the wand has the power to take over the world
00:27:46or worse
00:27:47no
00:27:48worse than tricking me into marrying you
00:27:50i told you that that wasn't a trick
00:27:52it doesn't matter eric
00:27:54she has the wand
00:27:55that shadow thief or whatever
00:27:58and that's your fault
00:27:59i can get it back
00:28:02look i know i don't deserve it
00:28:03but just give me one more chance
00:28:06i can get the wand back
00:28:08take care of what i need to take care of
00:28:09and then i'll do the divorce spell
00:28:11no
00:28:12please lily just
00:28:13give me one more chance
00:28:14please
00:28:15i can't trust him
00:28:17i shouldn't
00:28:19but my gut tells me
00:28:22this time
00:28:22it might be different
00:28:29no
00:28:31no we're both gonna go get it
00:28:34it is my job as a sherwood heir
00:28:36to set things right
00:28:37so i don't let the wand
00:28:39fall into the wrong hands
00:28:41and you really think after vegas
00:28:42i would let you go alone
00:28:43to find the most powerful magical object
00:28:46in the entire world
00:28:48fair uh
00:28:49whatever you want
00:28:50lily
00:28:52god i hate when you call me that
00:28:54all right
00:28:55i'll call you wife
00:28:57and you can call me whatever you want
00:28:59eric
00:29:00husband
00:29:01daddy
00:29:02shut up
00:29:03don't call me wife either
00:29:05after we get this wand
00:29:06we will do the divorce spell
00:29:07got it
00:29:07you're breaking my heart
00:29:09i mean you're the better half of my soul
00:29:13yeah you're not gonna sweet talk your way into my pants again
00:29:15eric
00:29:16we'll see
00:29:22now the wand forbids a direct tracking spell so we have to track its trail
00:29:27that's a ten mile radius we'll never find a wand inside that circle
00:29:30well with the tracking spell i get a location okay
00:29:33it doesn't last long though
00:29:35we'll have like three or four days
00:29:37well lucky for you
00:29:39i already packed your bags
00:29:42considered our official honeymoon
00:29:48after this we're done
00:29:49you got it
00:29:50don't go back on your words fenson
00:29:52we will do the divorce spell
00:29:54cross my heart
00:29:56hope to die
00:30:14you imagicked a car here?
00:30:17this isn't just any car
00:30:25this is Bessie
00:30:26you really expect us to track down the most powerful magical object in the world?
00:30:32in a car without a roof?
00:30:34i mean if you're not comfortable
00:30:40i could go by myself
00:30:42if you trust me not to run away
00:30:45hmm
00:30:46i wouldn't trust you with a half eaten newt muffin
00:30:49i was gonna throw in the trash
00:30:53then your chariot awaits
00:30:55wife
00:31:15well you've been driving all day and she hasn't said a single word
00:31:30you're Svensson
00:31:31you don't play house with sheriffs
00:31:33why are we turning?
00:31:35we don't have any time
00:31:36we have to find the wand eric
00:31:38that circle is getting further and further away
00:31:41plus it's getting dark
00:31:43we need to stay somewhere for the night
00:31:44why don't you just let me drive?
00:31:46because you haven't slept either
00:31:47plus no one can drive Bessie but me
00:31:51what is with guys and cars?
00:31:53jesus
00:31:53no i mean literally
00:31:55no one else can drive Bessie
00:31:57my great great grandfather put a hex on all of our possessions
00:32:00anyone that's non-blood related can't touch it
00:32:03the Svensons like to hoard their treasures
00:32:06your family has issues
00:32:08finally
00:32:09something we can agree on
00:32:11was this your plan all along?
00:32:13make me feel bad for you because your family is evil
00:32:15so i get all ooey gooey and forget about the divorce?
00:32:18not everyone in my family is evil
00:32:21yeah
00:32:22okay
00:32:35you cross this wall or do anything to piss me off
00:32:38more than you already have
00:32:39then you do not even want to imagine the hex i'm going to put on you
00:32:48i promise
00:32:49no funny business
00:32:52peaky promise
00:33:13goodnight to you too
00:33:22goodnight to you too
00:33:28yes
00:33:29in vegas
00:33:30in vegas
00:33:31you said you had a sister right?
00:33:34yeah
00:33:36segred
00:33:38she didn't ask to be a Svensson
00:33:41she's different than us
00:33:43better
00:33:45not like you
00:33:46not like you?
00:33:47no
00:33:49not like me
00:33:50but you already know that
00:33:51never been in a car
00:33:54no
00:33:54no
00:33:59no
00:34:01no
00:34:06no
00:34:08no
00:34:43Good morning, wife.
00:34:45I told you not to call me.
00:35:04You were saying something?
00:35:06What?
00:35:10How did you know I was awake?
00:35:13The husband always knows.
00:35:21Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to shower.
00:35:27No peeking.
00:35:32Cross my heart.
00:35:34I hope to die.
00:35:42I need to get a grip.
00:35:44Some washboard ads and a cocky grin aren't enough to make me fall for him.
00:35:49I just need this one time to take the edge off.
00:36:02I remember he touched me like this in Vegas.
00:36:17Look, I'm so close.
00:36:24I'm so close.
00:36:36Are you ready?
00:36:40Are you ready?
00:36:43Eric.
00:36:57You said that you wouldn't look.
00:37:01I don't need to look to know what you were doing while thinking about me.
00:37:07God, you are so full of yourself.
00:37:09Do I know what I heard?
00:37:11Say another word and I'll turn you into a frog.
00:37:16Are you thinking about that time in Vegas where I ate you out in the shower?
00:37:23You came so hard you almost crushed my skull between your thighs.
00:37:28I think about those times a lot.
00:37:32Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all.
00:37:59You still haven't even told me what you want the wand for yet.
00:38:02It's on a need-to-know basis.
00:38:05Oh, don't you think I need to know?
00:38:08I am your wife, after all.
00:38:10Oh, now you remember you're my wife.
00:38:13Funny how you only remember that when it's convenient for you.
00:38:15I remember every time I think about how badly I fucked up in Vegas.
00:38:19So all I am is a mistake.
00:38:20If I remember right, you're the one that suggested that we get hand-fast married.
00:38:24Obviously that was before I knew about all your bullshit and lies.
00:38:29Duty and responsibility might not be a big deal in your family, but in mine, it's huge.
00:38:34See?
00:38:35There you go again.
00:38:36Always worried about what your family wants.
00:38:38It's never about what you want.
00:38:39I follow the rules because I have to, Eric.
00:38:42If I don't, I end up in situations like this.
00:38:45Did you ever stop to think that maybe that's unfair?
00:38:48That maybe your ideas and their ideas are bullshit?
00:38:52You ever think of that?
00:38:54Spoken like a true Spinson.
00:38:56Well, you're a Spinson too, sweetheart.
00:38:58Not much longer, I can tell you that.
00:39:19I'm going to get some coffee.
00:39:21It's getting dark.
00:39:21You really think you should be alone?
00:39:23So now that we're married, you think you have to babysit me too?
00:39:30Fine, just don't take too long.
00:39:35You got her in the car or what?
00:39:38Who?
00:39:38Don't play done with me, boy.
00:39:40The little Sherwood witch you married forgot to tell me about.
00:39:46You thought I wouldn't find out, huh?
00:39:48You did a good job of hiding it, I'll give you that.
00:39:51Maybe you are my son after all, huh?
00:39:54What's the end game here?
00:39:56You said you just needed to get the Sherwood's wand so you could pay off your debts.
00:39:59What does she have to do with it?
00:40:00Because I'm not an idiot like you.
00:40:03I'll finally have all the leverage I need over the Sherwood family.
00:40:07When I tell them their pretty little heir is my new daughter-in-law.
00:40:12And then it'll be our family that gets to call the shots in the magic world.
00:40:16So you just want to use her?
00:40:18Like you use mom?
00:40:19Like you're using your own daughter.
00:40:21This is not a request, boy.
00:40:23Bring the girl and the wand to me or you will be stripped of your name.
00:40:28Your magic, everything.
00:40:30And your sister, she'll be the one paying the price for your mistakes.
00:40:44This isn't right.
00:40:45The trail should still be here.
00:40:48Would you like some coffee, Miss Sherwood?
00:40:50Yeah, thank you.
00:40:51Wait, how did you know my...
00:40:53You.
00:40:58But the map said that...
00:41:00That's cute.
00:41:02You think that dusty old map could track me?
00:41:09That wand is mine.
00:41:14Not anymore, it's not.
00:41:15And sadly, my employers need your powers too.
00:41:19Employer?
00:41:22Hold still.
00:41:23This will only hurt a bit.
00:41:25No, stop.
00:41:26Stop!
00:41:34Get away from her!
00:41:40Eric, the wand!
00:41:53My magic.
00:41:55She took half of my magic, Eric!
00:41:57You're okay.
00:41:58I got you.
00:42:00You're okay.
00:42:01You're okay.
00:42:01You're okay.
00:42:03I don't understand.
00:42:05The map said that the wand was miles away.
00:42:08What did she want with my powers?
00:42:10The thief must have found some way to bypass the tracking spell.
00:42:13She can't have gone far.
00:42:14We'll find her.
00:42:15Lay low for now.
00:42:16Eric, stop the car.
00:42:17I can't breathe.
00:42:19Okay.
00:42:29Hey, hey, hey.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:32You're okay.
00:42:32You're okay.
00:42:33Just breathe.
00:42:34I got you.
00:42:36You're safe.
00:42:37I thought she was going to kill me, Eric.
00:42:41I'm not going to let that happen.
00:42:43Not while I'm breathing.
00:42:57I still hate you.
00:43:01If you hated me, you wouldn't let me touch you like this.
00:43:05This doesn't change anything.
00:43:08It's only scratching an itch.
00:43:10Once we get the wand, and we do the divorce spell, and we forget each other existed.
00:43:21Is that what you want, Lily?
00:43:23You want to forget how good I make you feel?
00:43:26You want to forget I'm the only person in the whole fucking world who can make you feel this way?
00:43:36Eric.
00:43:39Wait, wait.
00:43:40Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:43:47We can't do this.
00:43:50This is what goes wrong between us.
00:43:52We can't make that mistake again.
00:43:54We have a job to do, Eric.
00:43:56Let's get the wand.
00:43:58That's it.
00:43:59And then what?
00:44:01You know what happens after, Eric.
00:44:03We do the divorce spell.
00:44:05And we never see each other again.
00:44:14This is what goes wrong.
00:44:18Oh, my God.
00:44:20Oh, man.
00:44:23Oh, boy.
00:44:30Oh, boy.
00:44:33Oh, boy.
00:44:39It smells like fresh baked pastries, cinnamon, old magic.
00:44:48I should have known.
00:44:51It's a Satyr's Inn.
00:44:53That smell.
00:44:55The Norman Inhabitus smell.
00:44:57It's woven into places like this for couples.
00:45:02Human orgies.
00:45:05Satyr's are the horniest bastards in the long world.
00:45:08It lowers any fear, doubt, shame, grits of your deepest desires.
00:45:16Without any fear of judgment or consequences.
00:45:28You don't.
00:45:31I'm trying not to.
00:45:50The spell doesn't create desire.
00:45:54It lets go of the lies.
00:45:57It tells us what we really want.
00:45:59What I want doesn't matter.
00:46:02It matters in here.
00:46:05Tell me what you really want.
00:46:07You can say goodbye.
00:46:09And go our separate ways.
00:46:11Or you can tell me you want this.
00:46:14You want me.
00:46:17Tell me to stay.
00:46:22Stay here.
00:46:24Please.
00:46:25God, what is this?
00:46:27Is this just the magic?
00:46:29No.
00:46:32It's not the spell.
00:46:34It's freedom.
00:46:35No.
00:46:37You can hear the outside world.
00:46:39It doesn't matter.
00:46:40Just you.
00:46:41And me.
00:46:44I shouldn't want this.
00:46:45I know.
00:46:49I shouldn't be doing this.
00:46:53Or this.
00:46:55To be able to share with you.
00:46:58To the most respected family of the whole rich world.
00:47:02You definitely shouldn't sound this fucking sexy.
00:47:04To mind.
00:47:07Your love here.
00:47:09To the Sherwood family.
00:47:12Who are you?
00:47:14I want you, Eric.
00:47:16I need you.
00:47:20Tell me who you are.
00:47:24Lily.
00:47:25Close.
00:47:29But not close.
00:47:32Tonight.
00:47:32Tell me who you are.
00:47:36Your wife.
00:47:41Your wife.
00:47:45Oh.
00:48:01This doesn't change anything.
00:48:03I know.
00:48:05We can have tonight, and then tomorrow we go back to who we are on the outside.
00:48:10Sure.
00:48:11I'll go back to being my bad self.
00:48:12and you can go back to pretending to be a good little witch.
00:48:16Excuse me?
00:48:18Don't deny Lili's shirt with Svenson.
00:48:21I know I'm kind of dark, naughty thoughts you have.
00:48:26I don't.
00:48:28It's okay to be bad.
00:48:31You don't have to pretend.
00:48:34I don't, huh?
00:48:39You know, just because I have half my magic
00:48:42doesn't mean I can't play with you for tonight.
00:48:56Now you're going to sit there
00:48:58like a good little witch.
00:49:07And I'm going to do whatever
00:49:10I want
00:49:14to you.
00:49:19I don't remember packing that lingerie.
00:49:21Close your eyes.
00:49:25Eric, you're so good
00:49:27for being such a bad boy.
00:49:32I'm being properly motivated
00:49:36not to move.
00:49:39See how long it takes you to break.
00:49:41For you, I could stay here forever.
00:49:43Pretty to think so.
00:49:45Why don't we test that little theory, huh?
00:49:48We're playing a dangerous game.
00:49:51All you have to do
00:49:55is admit that I win.
00:49:57I'll let you fuck me.
00:49:59I'll even
00:50:00let you come wherever you want.
00:50:06You can come here
00:50:09or here.
00:50:12I'll even
00:50:14let you come in here.
00:50:18God.
00:50:19Come on.
00:50:21I know you want her.
00:50:23Just admit
00:50:24I'm right.
00:50:27Fine.
00:50:29You win.
00:50:30Oh, what was that?
00:50:32You hurt me.
00:50:43So what's my prize?
00:50:48I could
00:50:49torture you
00:50:50like you did me.
00:50:53But I want to be inside you.
00:50:55I want to feel you
00:50:56squeeze me tight.
00:50:59Then take me to bed, husband.
00:51:04Call me that again.
00:51:07You want me to fuck you, husband?
00:51:10Yeah.
00:51:11Fuck me.
00:51:15Tell me a story.
00:51:24Like the ones you did in Vegas.
00:51:27I've got a story about
00:51:29my pet goat, Gilmore,
00:51:31and how he got stuck
00:51:33on a magic carpet.
00:51:34Or the story about
00:51:36how my sister tried to
00:51:37negotiate with a troll
00:51:39using only red emits.
00:51:41I know.
00:51:43I already know about
00:51:44your family.
00:51:47I want to know about you.
00:51:50What's it like to be
00:51:51a Svensson heir?
00:51:52You want the
00:51:53insider info.
00:51:55Mm-hmm.
00:51:55Mm-hmm.
00:51:56You tell me yours,
00:51:57I'll tell you mine.
00:51:58You're going to tell me
00:51:59how wonderful it was
00:52:01growing up as a
00:52:02beloved and blessed
00:52:03Sherwood.
00:52:07Is that what you think
00:52:08being a Sherwood
00:52:09is like?
00:52:11Is that what you think
00:52:12being a Sherwood
00:52:13is like?
00:52:14All fun and rainbows?
00:52:16Yeah, everybody
00:52:17loves your family.
00:52:17That's not true, Eric.
00:52:20There are so many people
00:52:21who would love it
00:52:22if we just disappeared.
00:52:23My mother has been
00:52:24shouldering all that
00:52:25responsibility and pressure
00:52:27for decades.
00:52:28And next year,
00:52:29I will be the
00:52:30head witch in charge.
00:52:32Everyone's counting on me
00:52:33to do the right thing.
00:52:34Like eat your fruits
00:52:35and veggies?
00:52:35Like spending my whole
00:52:37childhood being told
00:52:38that the whole world
00:52:39depended on me.
00:52:41like never bothering
00:52:43to have any hopes
00:52:44or dreams
00:52:45because my whole life
00:52:47was planned for me
00:52:47from the very start
00:52:48before I was even born.
00:52:50I'm always doing
00:52:51the right thing
00:52:51for the family.
00:52:52I was never allowed
00:52:53to even think
00:52:54of doing the wrong thing.
00:52:56I couldn't be tired.
00:52:58I couldn't be scared.
00:52:59I couldn't be angry.
00:53:00One mistake
00:53:01and my family
00:53:02loses everything
00:53:03that they've ever worked for.
00:53:05If this whole world
00:53:05fades to black,
00:53:06it's because I
00:53:07messed up.
00:53:08It's because I
00:53:09didn't do a good job.
00:53:13I don't think
00:53:14I've ever said
00:53:15that out loud before.
00:53:16I'm glad you did.
00:53:19Your turn.
00:53:21Growing up with
00:53:22Vincent was
00:53:24a little different.
00:53:26The old man likes
00:53:27to say I was
00:53:29the first
00:53:29of his disappointments.
00:53:31I guess it's good.
00:53:33At least I was
00:53:34first in something.
00:53:36I didn't care
00:53:37about disappointing him.
00:53:38I just wanted
00:53:39to get away from him.
00:53:41I had it all planned out
00:53:42when I turned 16.
00:53:44I'd leave,
00:53:45change my name,
00:53:46and the Svensson bloodline
00:53:47would die with me.
00:53:48My mom died
00:53:49when Secret was born.
00:53:53My dad used
00:53:54her against me
00:53:56every day since.
00:54:03I'm so sorry,
00:54:04Eric.
00:54:05I shouldn't have asked.
00:54:09It's okay.
00:54:11The Svensson's have always
00:54:12lived in the Sherwood
00:54:12shadows.
00:54:14We are the shadows.
00:54:18All you do is shine.
00:54:30He always asks me
00:54:31what I want.
00:54:34What do you
00:54:35want, Eric?
00:54:39You'd hate me
00:54:39if I told you.
00:54:41I mean,
00:54:42more than you already do.
00:54:46I don't hate you.
00:54:49I never did.
00:54:58I don't want you
00:54:59I love you.
00:55:02I love you.
00:55:07I love you,
00:55:09so I love you.
00:55:10I love you.
00:55:11I love you.
00:55:14I love you.
00:55:16I love you.
00:55:25Eric, something's wrong.
00:55:27Dad's got visitors.
00:55:29A bunch of old guys.
00:55:30I don't know who they are.
00:55:31He made me play piano for them, like some kind of dress-up doll.
00:55:35It's like freaking me out.
00:55:41Eric.
00:55:43Are you safe?
00:55:50For now.
00:55:52All those weird old men lived last night.
00:55:55And I hexed my door so no one could get in.
00:55:58Don't let anyone in.
00:55:59If Dad tries to get you to play with any of those weird old men, just...
00:56:02I know.
00:56:03I'll just do what he says.
00:56:06I always do.
00:56:08I'm so sick of this E.
00:56:10What if he actually does make me marry one of those guys?
00:56:12I'm never going to let that happen, all right?
00:56:15Look.
00:56:16I'm close to getting the Wand of Light.
00:56:19The Wand of Light?
00:56:21Like, the one from the fairy tales?
00:56:24You can't tell Dad secret.
00:56:26When I get the wand, be ready for my call.
00:56:30I have a plan.
00:56:31I barely know basic spells.
00:56:35I don't know if...
00:56:36You can.
00:56:37I know you can.
00:56:38I know you can.
00:56:39When the time is right, you'll be ready.
00:56:47All handed.
00:57:07Filling up Bessie, meet me downstairs when you're ready.
00:57:20Oh my god! Why do you and mom always do that?
00:57:24A bit high-strung, aren't you, sis?
00:57:28I was just in the middle of thinking.
00:57:30Yeah, and going by your aura, I can guess about who.
00:57:33Very much giving post-orgasmic afterglow.
00:57:36Aww, yeah, well you and your little aura reading can go jump in a lake.
00:57:40Oh, aren't we feisty this morning?
00:57:43Your super hot hubby isn't around, I'm guessing?
00:57:45Or have you already murdered him after catching his dick?
00:57:48I know all the best places to hide a body, by the way.
00:57:52I'm fine, Effie.
00:57:54I know all about Eric Spenson.
00:57:56I'm not stupid.
00:57:57And when we get the wand back-
00:57:59You mean if you get the wand back?
00:58:01We will.
00:58:03And when we do, we'll do the divorce spell.
00:58:06This mark will be gone.
00:58:08I'll go home and marry the best person who serves our family alliance.
00:58:16It's not fair, you know.
00:58:18I know I'm the last person who should be saying that, because it's not like I can change it.
00:58:23But it's not.
00:58:26It's just the way it goes, right?
00:58:28There has to be a way for you to be with who you actually want and be a good heir.
00:58:35Effie, what I want has nothing to do with anything in my life.
00:58:38That's fine.
00:58:40It's what it means to be a sure what.
00:58:43Just remember, repeating it doesn't make it true.
00:58:48All right.
00:58:50Whatever you say, sis.
00:58:51You know best.
00:58:54I know.
00:58:55Give everyone a hug from me.
00:58:57Tell them I'll be back home soon.
00:59:08Last night was the last time.
00:59:10After today, we're done.
00:59:13If I say that enough times, maybe I'll finally believe it.
00:59:25I'll tell you about my plan with the wand.
00:59:30My family's magic is dying.
00:59:32My father's been cashing in on broken promises for years.
00:59:35But he holds most of the power.
00:59:37And me and Sieg, we just get to scratch.
00:59:39That's how he controls us.
00:59:42If I could use the wand just once, I could take his power away from the grave.
00:59:48I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:59:49I'm trying to save mine.
00:59:50It's the only way that we can be free.
00:59:54That's what you meant by trying to save your family.
00:59:58I was going to tell you the night before.
01:00:00I was going to tell you the truth.
01:00:02And then I was just going to ask if I could use the wand just once.
01:00:05And then I would do whatever you wanted.
01:00:08Get a divorce.
01:00:09Leave you alone.
01:00:11Forever.
01:00:12Why didn't you tell me?
01:00:16Why didn't you tell me that morning?
01:00:18Maybe things could have been different.
01:00:21I would have asked you to stay.
01:00:23It's a nice idea.
01:00:26But our families have been at war since the beginning of time.
01:00:30Maybe if we were different people.
01:00:33We have different lives.
01:00:34It works.
01:00:36This is what it works.
01:00:38Maybe we can work.
01:00:40Maybe the wand has a spell for that, Eric.
01:00:43A witch can hope.
01:00:51What?
01:00:53Do I have mushrooms growing out of the side of my head?
01:00:55Why are you looking at me like that?
01:00:57Why are you looking at me like that?
01:01:09Wait.
01:01:10I'm driving.
01:01:11Pull over.
01:01:24Pull over.
01:01:25Pull over.
01:01:26Pull over.
01:01:27Pull over.
01:01:31Pull over.
01:01:31You have got to be kidding me.
01:01:39End of the line, witches!
01:01:45Oh
01:02:28Now's not a good time, old man.
01:02:30Well, it sounds like my insurance policy worked.
01:02:34You?
01:02:36You sit the shadow thief?
01:02:37Of course I sit her.
01:02:39Do you think I would trust you to finish the job?
01:02:53Demons are very expensive, you know?
01:02:57But I thought that the Sherwood girl's soul in exchange for the wand was a good enough bargain.
01:03:05Souls of magic users apparently taste better.
01:03:19You said you needed her alive.
01:03:21The Sherwoods will never pay off your debts if you kill their heir.
01:03:23I've reconsidered.
01:03:25Once I have that wand, I will be the most powerful witch alive.
01:03:30Debts won't matter.
01:03:32The stupid Sherwoods won't matter.
01:03:34And as for the girl, well...
01:03:35I don't need her breathing to use her power.
01:03:39I can always marry Sigrid off to form new alliances.
01:03:43Guess you won't be trapped in a marriage after all, son.
01:03:48You're welcome.
01:03:51Go to hell, old man.
01:04:03Take it!
01:04:06No!
01:04:08Your soul will be delicious!
01:04:17I can take Dad's magic into him and finally be free.
01:04:26Get off my wife!
01:04:34You'll pay for that, witch!
01:04:37God...
01:04:48This isn't the last you'll see of me.
01:04:55Hey, I've got you.
01:04:57You didn't run.
01:04:59You're kidding?
01:05:00I'd be a pretty shitty husband if I let my wife's soul get sucked out by a demon.
01:05:08You can't get rid of me that easily.
01:05:10No, no, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:12Eric!
01:05:13Oh, my God!
01:05:15Eric, no, no, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:17Oh, my God!
01:05:20I can't save you, I don't have my powers!
01:05:23I need you to run!
01:05:26You could have saved yourself!
01:05:28I've been saving myself my whole life.
01:05:32I thought I'd try something new.
01:05:36You idiot, you stupid, stupid idiot!
01:05:40Yeah.
01:05:42But I'm your idiot.
01:05:50You took a divorce spell.
01:05:53I had a promise.
01:05:55Now you're free.
01:05:57Yeah.
01:05:59I don't want to be free.
01:06:02I don't want to be free.
01:06:05I want to be with you.
01:06:07Just keep secrets safe.
01:06:09Safe from my father.
01:06:12Safe from all of it.
01:06:15You know, those days in Vegas...
01:06:20were the best three days of my life.
01:06:22All right, let's get this show started, okay?
01:06:27I love you.
01:06:29I love you, too.
01:06:32I love you, I love you.
01:06:36Eric.
01:06:39No!
01:06:40No!
01:07:00The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
01:07:10Please, please, please.
01:07:20Please, please.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:33Lily.
01:07:35I can't.
01:07:37You absolute moron.
01:07:42You absolute moron.
01:07:44Be gentle. I was dead for like 10 seconds.
01:07:49You're alive.
01:07:51That is for divorcing me on your literal deathbed,
01:07:54you asshole.
01:07:56I thought I was doing something noble.
01:07:58Something cool.
01:07:59The wand gave you your power back?
01:08:03My mom used to say that
01:08:04the wand's user grants it
01:08:06its deepest desire.
01:08:07I guess it knew what I really wanted.
01:08:11What did you want?
01:08:14You.
01:08:17Don't scare me like that again.
01:08:18Okay.
01:08:20You know, I thought
01:08:22I heard something
01:08:24but I was bleeding out.
01:08:29Maybe you could
01:08:30say it again?
01:08:34Maybe you could
01:08:36say it again?
01:08:39I love you.
01:08:40You're expensive.
01:08:43That's my girl.
01:08:50Let's go.
01:09:03You ready for one last stop?
01:09:05Yeah.
01:09:26Ah.
01:09:28There you are.
01:09:30I knew I could always trust a demon
01:09:32to get the job done.
01:09:34Now.
01:09:35Where is my wand?
01:09:38Wait.
01:09:39You're supposed to be dead.
01:09:41Wow.
01:09:42You weren't kidding.
01:09:43He really is evil.
01:09:45I put a barrier
01:09:46around this whole house.
01:09:47It's impossible.
01:09:48There's no way you should be able to be in here.
01:09:50There's always a loophole.
01:09:51Hold me in.
01:09:55Secret.
01:09:56You ungrateful brat.
01:09:58How dare you betray me like this?
01:10:00Really, Dad?
01:10:01Playing the family card
01:10:03after you almost sold me
01:10:04into child marriage?
01:10:05You ungrateful little pests.
01:10:15You're powerless now, old man.
01:10:17Your magic's gone.
01:10:18Forever.
01:10:31Eric.
01:10:32Otis.
01:10:33Svensson.
01:10:34Release me this instant.
01:10:36That is an order.
01:10:39You can handle it from here, right?
01:10:41His powers are gone.
01:10:42It doesn't scare me anymore.
01:10:46You ungrateful little brats.
01:10:47Both of you will pay for this.
01:10:49You will both pay for this.
01:10:55Yeah, yeah.
01:10:56Talk soon, pups.
01:10:58We're gonna hit the road.
01:10:59I said get back here.
01:11:00I said get back here.
01:11:02Get back here.
01:11:03Please don't do this, you little bitch.
01:11:18Okay.
01:11:21So, where to now?
01:11:24Should we go and drop off the wand of life?
01:11:27Yeah.
01:11:29But there's something I wanna do first.
01:11:32That sounds ominous.
01:11:34Just so happens that there's another full moon tonight.
01:11:39Leona Sherwood, are you asking me to hand fast Mary?
01:11:44Are you?
01:11:45Yeah.
01:11:47I think I am Eric Sponson.
01:11:50Well, we better hurry.
01:11:51If we're gonna take the wand of light home and make it back in time to the hunk-a-hunk
01:11:55-a wedding chapel of love.
01:11:57I wonder if they have the same Elvis.
01:11:59I sure hope so.
01:12:01But, if we're gonna get hand fast married again, no more secrets this time.
01:12:06So, is there anything you wanna come clean about now?
01:12:09Soon to be again husband?
01:12:13There is one thing.
01:12:16You might wanna buckle up.
01:12:18We're about to go super speed.
01:12:21Bessie could've been going super speed this entire time.
01:12:24You didn't tell me to make our trip last longer.
01:12:26Didn't you?
01:12:27You know me so well.
01:12:29Soon to be again wife.
01:12:33Leona Sherwood.
01:12:34Will you marry me?
01:12:36And not because of some spell or because it's your duty.
01:12:41But because you want to.
01:12:45Yes, I will.
01:12:57Ready?
01:12:58Hell yeah.
01:12:59Don't be too high.
01:13:02I'm sorry.
01:13:04You're right back.
01:13:07I'm sorry.
01:13:07I'm not gonna lie.
01:13:08Look at me.
01:13:10It's a bit.
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