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Short filmTranscript
00:03I'm nervous.
00:05I'm gonna take it one step at a time.
00:07In a world saturated with sex...
00:10I'm absolutely petrified.
00:12More young adults than ever are living without it.
00:16The thought of having sex with someone...
00:18Scares me.
00:19It gives me the ick.
00:20I'm missing out.
00:21Terrified.
00:22Nerve-racking.
00:22Gut-wrenching.
00:23Embarrassing.
00:24All I think about is what I'm gonna get wrong.
00:27Can you point to the outer labia?
00:31Nope.
00:33Now...
00:3512 virgins are getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:39Social media, porn, dating apps.
00:42There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
00:45Use it by stimulating the area.
00:48They'll be guided by experts.
00:50You see yourself as...
00:52Proposal.
00:52To explore all aspects of intimacy.
00:56And maybe even have sex with a trained therapist.
01:00Do you wanna put a condom on?
01:03Or each other.
01:04Get a room, guys!
01:07I really do need to change my life.
01:10Who will be ready...
01:11Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:14To go all the way.
01:25Over the last few days on Virgin Island, the group were challenged to bear all in the nudity phase.
01:31This is my body.
01:32Which led to breakthroughs for Ed.
01:35Will you touch my scars while I touch yours?
01:38I feel like I can be vulnerable as well and like I'm not alone.
01:42And Teagan.
01:43Look at my pussy.
01:44Uh-huh.
01:45It's a very nice pussy.
01:46Mmm.
01:47That's nice.
01:49Oh, I'm bothered.
01:50It was the first time I had my fingers and saved my woman.
01:54Bertie also reached an important milestone.
01:57Good.
01:57That was my first kiss.
01:59You did great.
02:00We're making very good progress and I am feeling absolutely incredible.
02:05Now, halfway through the course, the group are about to enter a whole new realm.
02:11The truth is that many people have a lot of kinky fantasies and desires
02:16and it's really important to give people permission to explore those parts of themselves.
02:21And we know just a person who can help the group unlock the kink in a very playful way.
02:29Is that for me?
02:44Brilliant.
02:45Another letter.
02:46Another day in Paradox.
02:47It's the fifth phase of the course and time for some fun.
02:53It's time to explore.
02:54The next phase of the course is playtime.
02:57Oh.
02:59I imagine they don't mean an Xbox.
03:05What do you reckon we're going to be playing?
03:08Oh, noughts and crosses.
03:09Oh, I'd love that.
03:11This is going to be fun, I think.
03:13For me anyway.
03:14Not so sure how some of the others are going to take it.
03:17Some will be more nervous than others, I think.
03:19But, yeah.
03:21I'm excited.
03:24Well, I'm sure the cuffs are coming out today, so...
03:26Oh, mate.
03:29Purty, how are you feeling about this phase?
03:31You should be yourself.
03:31God knows what's going to happen.
03:32After what I've done in the last phase, there's no going back, so, yeah.
03:35Yeah.
03:38It's playtime.
03:40If there's a ball pit, that would be great.
03:43Revolvers and penises.
03:46In today's workshop...
03:48Morning, guys.
03:49Morning.
03:50Hi, y'all.
03:51The experts want to encourage the group to find pleasure in play.
03:56Some people might think, oh, why are you bringing in kinks with a bunch of virgins?
04:00But, ultimately, they need to have the full menu of options, because maybe they're not having sex because they haven't
04:07found the sex that really turns them on.
04:10Sex is this place that adults go to play, and this phase is all about inviting you to play.
04:17We have a special guest for you today, who is going to help you explore different ways that you might
04:25want to play.
04:26We want to welcome Shelby.
04:37Sorry.
04:39I didn't say anything.
04:43Hello, everyone.
04:44Hi.
04:44I am a BDSM and kink expert from San Francisco, California.
04:50Some of you are probably thinking this might be a little advanced, but it's a game of leading and following.
04:57And I'm betting that most of you struggle when it comes to leading and following sexual encounters.
05:04And so that's why we're going to explore that today.
05:08Sex makes everyone feel really vulnerable.
05:11And so what I want for the virgins is to understand that what turns them on is good and should
05:19be normalized.
05:20Education around BDSM is grounded in consent and boundaries, and I want them to have a safe and meaningful experience.
05:30BDSM is an acronym.
05:33It means bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism.
05:37A way to think about BDSM and kink is adults playing a very sexy game of pretend.
05:42And what better way for the games to begin than a lesson in submission.
05:47Submissives want undivided attention.
05:51They know deep down that they want someone to take the reins and this is what we're going to explore
05:56today for our first adventure.
05:59Is anyone curious to come up here and try?
06:07Oh, I don't know. I don't know. What do you think? They both raise their hand at the same time.
06:12Take both of them.
06:17That sounds great. Both of you, come here.
06:25I hope you're both good at sharing.
06:29I fantasize being more in a submissive role, probably from me not knowing what I'm doing.
06:37I'd rather have a girl taking the dominant role.
06:40I've always been curious about what it would be like to be in that situation.
06:44You know why you're both up here at the same time?
06:47What?
06:48I don't need you to talk.
06:49Okay. Sorry.
06:50It's because it would take both of you to satisfy me.
06:55Do you think you have what it takes?
06:58I think so.
06:59Then get on your knees.
07:04Adequate.
07:05I think we have some work to do before you're ready.
07:09Look how bad they are.
07:12You nailed it.
07:15Can I give you a hand?
07:16Yes.
07:17Good job.
07:19Thank you for trusting me.
07:20I need a cold shower after I work.
07:25As the tools of a trader revealed,
07:29Mistress Shelby is happy to help the group experiment.
07:33How long before you ask me to bark?
07:37Do you want to bark for me?
07:40Good boy.
07:42Bondage can make people feel really safe.
07:45Think of getting a really firm hug.
07:47That lowers our blood pressure when we have that compression in our body.
07:52It can make us feel calm and secure and held.
07:57Nice.
07:58Very good.
07:59Can you make it back to your seat with Tom?
08:02Good job.
08:08All right.
08:10So now we're going to get into impact play.
08:13Okay.
08:16As the group relaxes and becomes more playful,
08:19some begin to explore their own fantasies.
08:22Climb up here and get on all fours, please.
08:27As 22-year-old theatre rusher Millie takes to the stage.
08:31My fantasy would be people dominating the other person
08:36and I'd be the one that's being dominated.
08:39That makes me feel a bit fuzzy and warm inside.
08:43I'm like, you know what, maybe I'd like that.
08:48This is a paddle, see Millie.
08:52And when it comes to spanking, for some, it's not just a physical sensation.
08:58What happens in the brain is we get a lot of cortisol and opiates
09:04and basically we get a lot of fun brain drugs.
09:08It heightens our pleasure.
09:10Good girl, Millie.
09:12Taking it like a champ.
09:13How did that feel?
09:15Yeah.
09:17Good job, Millie.
09:24Are you able to sit down?
09:29Thank you, Millie.
09:30No, thank you.
09:32It's my pleasure, truly.
09:35Millie, was that the first time you've ever been spanked?
09:38Like that.
09:40I'm on cloud nine right now.
09:42Like, I really enjoyed it.
09:44I think it was something that I really wanted to do for a while
09:46and I knew I would like.
09:49That was a lot, but Jesus Christ.
09:52Privately, it's something I can certainly imagine myself doing.
09:58In front of everybody else, it's a bit much.
10:01But we're breaking down boundaries, I guess.
10:06I'm in love, guys.
10:08The Shelby.
10:09She's fantastic.
10:10It does feel like my thing is being more submissive.
10:14If we were given the chance to explore this in a one-to-one,
10:17I would absolutely go for it.
10:19But not everyone is feeling the Shelby effect.
10:23How did you find it, Bertie?
10:25I mean, it's not exactly my cup of tea,
10:28but I've got nothing against people that do.
10:31I just didn't participate because it's not my thing.
10:34Fair.
10:35I mean, I've never had sex, that's why I'm here,
10:38but I'm probably going to be as vanilla as they come.
10:40I've never really been that adventurous in other things.
10:43I don't think I'd be particularly kinky in the bedroom at all.
10:49So, at this point in time, and possibly forever,
10:53these kinds of activities are not for me.
11:04Do you want me to spank your bum?
11:06Yes. Please.
11:08It's the afternoon on Virgin Island.
11:11Roll over and get onto all fours.
11:13The Playtime workshop is already having a big impact
11:16on some of the group.
11:19That was a good one.
11:21That was a good one.
11:23Hello, everyone.
11:25And Shelby is hoping to get everyone involved
11:28in some extracurricular activity.
11:31I have a box of goodies for you all to enjoy.
11:36Yay!
11:37You can either explore on your own or with a partner.
11:41Have as much fun as you possibly can today.
11:45Hi.
11:45Bye.
11:47Immediately get dinner.
11:49Oh, my God.
11:52This is just Fifty Shades of Grey right now.
11:54Oh, sweetie.
11:55Edible underwear.
11:57Is it?
11:57It could be someone's laundry they just found.
12:09Hello.
12:11Dinner's ready.
12:14Is it yummy?
12:15Really good.
12:19As the group continues to play...
12:22Come with me.
12:24It's clear some are embracing the theme more than others.
12:28Are you having fun?
12:29Yeah, I am.
12:30Good.
12:31Sit.
12:35Do you want a nail for me?
12:40Okay, we'll try that again later.
12:42You're getting too excited now.
12:45Will's excitement for the playtime phase has caught the attention of the experts.
12:49Will came up for a little bondage today, which was great, and he liked being a puppy.
12:54That was such a fun surprise when he barked.
12:58I was like, yes.
13:00I had a few sessions with Will and it seems like he's starting to hold his arousal and get really
13:07excited without accidentally ejaculating.
13:10And now he's been in a place of, okay, but what next?
13:15So far at the retreat...
13:17Whoa!
13:18That's fast for a first date.
13:20The experts have been encouraging Will to take his time.
13:23Let yourself actually check what do you want to do and slow it down. We're slowing it down.
13:28And Aisha...
13:30Taking a breath.
13:31..has used basic touch exercises...
13:33Shit, please don't come, please don't come.
13:35..to assess his premature ejaculation.
13:38I think this is what I needed.
13:41But now she wants to take things to the next level.
13:45Hello.
13:46Hi.
13:46My greatest fear if things carry on the way they are is just never finding anyone, never finding love, never
13:53getting to have any, like, sexual experiences, no romantic experiences, none of that.
13:56That would be sad to you.
13:59What I would recommend is getting undressed and direct skin-on-skin genital touch.
14:08And we track arousal and you practice regulating your nervous system without experiencing premature ejaculation.
14:15Yes.
14:15Yes.
14:15Okay, so...
14:18When you're ready...
14:20...inviting you to start undressing.
14:24What we want to do is train Will to move as close to orgasm as possible without cumming.
14:33If he can do that, then he can finally overcome his fear that he's going to ejaculate early with a
14:39lover.
14:39And getting comfortable, taking some breaths.
14:46Ahhhh.
14:48Ayesha will monitor Will's arousal using a scale from zero to four, with four being orgasm.
14:58So I have a suggestion.
14:59We agree on, like, two or three strokes, and you'll let me know as you're moving up the scale.
15:05So, like, I'm a one.
15:06I'm a two.
15:06I'm a three.
15:07I'm a three and a half.
15:08Sounds good.
15:09Okay.
15:10I'm going to come on the table and I'm going to move this leg over me.
15:14Okay?
15:15And now this one.
15:16I'm just going to shift myself forward.
15:20Okay, great.
15:21Okay.
15:22So, taking a breath.
15:34Two.
15:39Yeah, we're still at a two.
15:41Before long, things start to escalate.
15:45Yeah.
15:46Climbing.
15:46Climbing.
15:47Okay.
15:48So, keep breathing.
15:49Oh, shit.
15:51Take a breath.
15:51Breathe.
15:57And just keep breathing.
15:58Breathe in.
16:01And now this third time.
16:03You're going to breathe in, you're going to hold, and you're going to tense everything.
16:07And tense.
16:08Tense.
16:09Tense.
16:09Tense.
16:11Tense.
16:12Tense.
16:12Tense.
16:13Tense.
16:13And hold it for as long as you can, Will.
16:15Hold.
16:16Tense.
16:17And then when you're ready, you're going to relax.
16:23Yeah, I did it.
16:24Yeah, I beat it.
16:25Woo!
16:26Come on.
16:27High five.
16:28Okay.
16:28I was so close as well.
16:30I was like, oh, shit.
16:31Yeah.
16:33I'm really aware of, like, how close I was at the start, like, nervous-wise.
16:37But Ayesha's amazing.
16:38I really feel like that treatment is kind of what I need before I do anything else.
16:41So I feel confident about now, like, moving forward.
16:47You're walking back with, like, a swagger.
16:50You are walking back with a swagger.
16:51Yeah.
16:51Will didn't come, which was the objective.
16:53Woo!
16:56Well done.
16:57Yeah, just, like, getting to the point where I think I'm going to come and then, like,
17:00kind of stop in and, like, breathe, breath work and, like...
17:03Oh, right.
17:03Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:04But, yeah, progress.
17:06Let's go.
17:10Will's not the only one making progress.
17:13Would you say the goals are being met?
17:16Yeah.
17:17As part of the Surrogate Partner Therapy Program, clinical therapist Abby checks in with some
17:23of the group.
17:24What does a good ending look like to you?
17:27Um, giving and receiving, like, pleasure and orgasm.
17:33Okay.
17:33Good.
17:34Yeah.
17:35Good.
17:37Meanwhile, Marianne is with Andre, challenging herself.
17:40This is an invitation if we wanted to potentially de-robe some clothing to your comfort level.
17:47To overcome her trust issues with men.
17:49I'm happy to go to, like, my underwear.
17:51Marianne is doing extremely well, connecting and building emotional intimacy with Andre.
17:58Breathe in.
17:59Taking things slow is definitely the right way for her to move through this work.
18:05Hold.
18:06Breathe out.
18:08Each time I'm trying to push myself just a little bit further.
18:11So I'm feeling very content with that.
18:13And I'm excited to know more.
18:16All right.
18:17Ready?
18:17Yep.
18:17Are you going to dress with me?
18:18Yes, okay.
18:19Having proved he can get and maintain an erection.
18:23Let's do some bossy touch.
18:24How do you feel about that?
18:25Yeah, comfortable.
18:26Okay.
18:26Take the tips of your fingers and run them on the tops of my thighs.
18:30Alex is moving along in surrogate partner therapy with Risden.
18:35Mm-hmm.
18:36That's nice.
18:37Alex is one that can get caught in his mind.
18:40Touching my face, starting at the forehead and then caressing your way down slowly.
18:45But he definitely can work through a lot of that.
18:48It's sexy when you're bossy.
18:50Okay.
18:51How are you feeling?
18:52Good.
18:53I feel confident and no pressure on, like, thinking, I have to get an erection because
18:57I need to practise getting an erection.
18:58Oh, yeah.
18:59Great.
19:00Great.
19:06Come on in here.
19:10It's late afternoon and the group are embracing the playtime theme.
19:15It doesn't feel that sharp.
19:16It feels quite nice, really.
19:17Yeah, yeah.
19:18See, I would just use this as a pizza wheel, couldn't you?
19:21But when it comes to playing games...
19:24Let's go with D7.
19:28Hit.
19:29Not everyone is in the same boat.
19:32D8.
19:33Hit.
19:34D9.
19:35Hit.
19:35And let's finish up with D10.
19:37Hit.
19:38You have sunk my battleship.
19:39Cool.
19:41Let's talk about Ed.
19:43Today at the workshop, his curiosity came out and I think this phase is really hitting his desires and interests.
19:52Yeah.
19:52He was very engaged in the workshop.
19:55So when I see him today, I think we're going to start getting more comfortable sharing his fantasies and desires
20:01and find some confidence.
20:05Hello.
20:06Hi, Ed.
20:06Lovely to see you again.
20:08Are we hugging?
20:08Can do.
20:09Okay.
20:09Come here.
20:11Life for me growing up wasn't easy.
20:13Being bullied made me lose a lot of my confidence.
20:16I worked on it, but it doesn't take much to knock me back down.
20:21Just lay down, sweetie.
20:23Yeah.
20:24That's good.
20:25It's just led to me having an attitude of why bother?
20:28I'm going to fail.
20:29I can't do this, which isn't a great attitude to have for a lot of things, especially sex.
20:36How does this feel?
20:37Feels nice.
20:38Yeah?
20:39After a moment of connection, Shelby begins exploring Ed's submissive side.
20:46I think you get turned on by being humiliated a little bit.
20:50Yeah.
20:51Yeah.
20:51It's probably because I was bullied quite like school.
20:53Oh, okay.
20:54So that was kind of like what I was used to.
20:55Yeah.
20:57Sometimes that source of pain that we experience, we can kind of reclaim it.
21:04I have some good ideas for you, I think.
21:06Okay.
21:08Shelby's methods are based on studies that identify how people respond to being humiliated.
21:14Get on your knees.
21:15They might be extreme in the outside world, but in a supportive environment can get results.
21:20One of the reasons people might crave being humiliated is if you have a bad emotional or psychological
21:27experience at a formative age, as an adult, you might want to make it work for you to feel
21:33confident and empowered and safe.
21:36The communication and trust and safety is what allows someone to fully surrender.
21:41Crawl forward.
21:45Stop.
21:45Put your head down on the ground.
21:49Do you want my attention?
21:51Yes, ma'am.
21:51Do you deserve my attention?
21:53No, ma'am.
21:54That's right.
21:55You have to earn it.
21:56So be good.
21:58Crawl back to me.
22:02Throughout the session, Shelby will use a traffic light system to ensure Ed remains in control
22:07of what's happening.
22:08Tell me your colour.
22:09Green.
22:14A footstool.
22:15That might be an acceptable use for you.
22:20I think it's going to be difficult for you to fuck this up.
22:23What do you think?
22:25Yes, ma'am.
22:26Yes?
22:26You think you're a good footstool?
22:28Yes, ma'am.
22:33Are you enjoying this?
22:35Yes, ma'am.
22:37You bad, bad boy.
22:39By associating insults with play rather than pain, Shelby hopes to help Ed reframe his
22:45past trauma.
22:46Why don't you roll around on the ground for me a little bit more?
22:56You look ridiculous.
22:58Come on, give me some enthusiasm.
23:00You can't just roll back and forth.
23:02Roll all over.
23:03Come on.
23:09All right, stop, stop.
23:12Tell me your colour.
23:13Green.
23:18It was really fun.
23:20I think it was really helpful as well, because I think finding something you really do connect
23:24with in these therapies, I think, is a big thing for your personal development.
23:31Hey Ed, how was it one to one?
23:33It was so much fun.
23:35Yeah.
23:36But I just feel weird.
23:39We're good.
23:40Yeah, we're good.
23:42Kind of like I want to have a little cry.
23:44Aww.
23:45We had a cuddle.
23:46It was really nice.
23:47It's been so long since I've cuddled with someone.
23:49I forgot how much I like that.
23:51But it was really nice.
24:00Good morning.
24:01Good morning.
24:01Are you ready for more playtime?
24:04Oh, so ready.
24:05It's day two of the playtime phase at the retreat, and Ed is reflecting on his session with Shelby.
24:12Yesterday was like a big high.
24:14Yeah.
24:14As you can probably all tell.
24:16Yeah.
24:16See, I woke up, and I was like, I'm sad now.
24:19Hmm.
24:21Any specific reason why you're feeling sad?
24:23I've remembered I really like cuddling with stuff.
24:25And it's been so long, and I've kind of forgotten.
24:29I'll cuddle you.
24:30I'll cuddle you.
24:31Now I'm like...
24:31I want it every day.
24:32Aww.
24:33I feel like I'm missing out on just a big part of life's experience.
24:37Okay, I get you.
24:37I'm so aching.
24:39I'm not going up to be this spanked again.
24:42I'm off my arse, honestly.
24:43More for me.
24:48Millie is in luck.
24:49The only spanking today will be in their imagination.
24:53Hello.
24:54Hello.
24:55No, I'm back.
24:57I'm here to give you a little homework assignment.
25:02What we would like you to do is to take some of your erotic fantasies and turn them into short
25:10stories.
25:11Aww.
25:12Yeah.
25:14Okay, I'm seeing some enthusiasm.
25:17There's some hiding.
25:19This is a practice of leaning into your fantasies more.
25:24Be explicit.
25:26Be graphic.
25:27You can do this.
25:30You've gone right, Ray.
25:35Well, have fun.
25:38Even the thought is making you go gremlin.
25:40Yeah.
25:41Okay, I'm going to go somewhere else.
25:44Because Callum's giggling is not part of my fantasy.
25:48Don't worry, Callum, it's part of mine.
25:51The group's homework has set their creative juices flowing.
25:55Is that sex position called the 69?
25:59Yeah, there is a sex position called the 69, but I don't know which one you mean.
26:02Yeah, the 69 is you're both giving each other oral basically at the same time.
26:06Yeah.
26:06Can two women do that?
26:08Absolutely.
26:09But not everyone is comfortable with the exercise, as Bertie's erotic story writing hits the rocks.
26:18I hate every single aspect of this exercise.
26:25I am not an erotic person in the slightest.
26:29I mean, this is not a voice you want to hear in the bedroom.
26:38While Bertie struggles with writer's block, the exercise is causing other concerns for Teagan.
26:44Do you know what it is, Ray?
26:45I want to have sex with people, but I don't want to underwhelm anyone.
26:50Just practice, Teagan.
26:52Mm-hm.
26:52Practice makes perfect.
26:53Mm-hm.
26:54You're not going to be good the first time, are you?
26:56In a previous session...
26:58See if you can see my vaginal opening.
27:01Mm-hm.
27:02Teagan touched another woman's genitals for the first time.
27:06Mm-hm.
27:06Mm-hm.
27:09Now they've established a high level of trust,
27:11Rizden aims to help Teagan explore a new kind of pleasure through play.
27:16Hi.
27:16Hi.
27:18I don't know how I would fare in a sexual encounter.
27:23I read erotica and smart.
27:25I've seen TV shows.
27:26I've seen people having sex.
27:28I think, like, logistically I would know what to do,
27:30but to actually be able to do it is a whole other thing entirely.
27:36I was thinking we'll go over the mechanics of topping.
27:39Yep.
27:40All right, cool.
27:40I'm going to take this off.
27:42I want to show you some harnesses and things.
27:47Cool.
27:47And so it'll be good for me to have pants on.
27:51Teagan came onto the island very clear
27:53that she did not want to receive vaginal penetration,
27:56which culturally we would call that somebody who is a top
28:00versus a bottom in lesbian dynamics.
28:03So it's important for me to normalize the use of sex toys with Teagan
28:07in pretty early on because it's a common practice in lesbian sex.
28:12It's the one we got for you.
28:14Cool.
28:15Pick which one.
28:17With the big boy?
28:18It's closer to me.
28:18Okay.
28:19All right, so let's see you.
28:24I'll pick the ring first and be like, what's going to fit?
28:27Yeah.
28:27And whatever fits, I want, like, a tiny bit of room
28:29so I can put the straps in still.
28:32For you?
28:33Mm-hmm.
28:34Lovely.
28:35Mm-hmm.
28:35All right, now try putting it on and see.
28:41All right.
28:42Let's do this.
28:49How's that?
28:50Yeah, good.
28:51Okay.
28:51All right, I'm just going to twist it around for you.
28:54Just twist my dick.
28:59Okay, so we're going to do some thrusting mechanics.
29:03I'm getting to the stage where I'm old enough now that I'm like,
29:06I want to be wifed up, as my friends would put it.
29:10And I feel like I just need helping.
29:15Maybe physically, maybe not, to help me lose my virginity,
29:19which is all I want, really.
29:21Hit my hands with the dick.
29:25Sorry, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
29:29So what I'm seeing you do is you're kind of this.
29:31Yeah.
29:31And what I want you to do instead, so there's not this, but this.
29:36Okay.
29:36Do you see?
29:37More with the pelvis.
29:38Yeah, that's much better.
29:40Kind of, like, clench your butt at the top a little bit.
29:42That'll give you more power.
29:44Mm-hmm.
29:46Good job.
29:47Having grasped the basics,
29:49Wisden wants to see if Teagan can master thrusting
29:52in different positions.
29:54Great.
29:58Yeah.
29:59Great.
30:00This position seems like the one that is most natural to your body.
30:03Yeah, I think it is.
30:04Okay, cool.
30:05That's good.
30:05That's good.
30:06All right, what did you think of that?
30:08Yeah.
30:08Great educational talk.
30:12It's good.
30:13Yeah?
30:13I feel, like, so far ahead of where I thought I would be at this stage, so...
30:16Yeah.
30:20All right, I'll see you soon.
30:21Yeah, definitely. Thank you. Bye.
30:24No-one's ever taught me those kind of skills, so that was very new.
30:28It's very educational, and I feel closer to losing my virginity.
30:33I'm just going to sit like this now for a while.
30:35Teagan, put your willy away.
30:38Please don't.
30:38Oh, God.
30:39I don't know where to look.
30:41I don't know where to look.
30:42I don't feel it.
30:42No!
30:43Are you all right?
30:43No, seriously.
30:44I don't know if I want to.
30:47Keep tugging like that, baby.
30:49Is that, like, what a real one feels like?
30:51I was literally about to say, is this what a real one feels like?
30:54Yeah.
30:54Ed, can you come and...
30:58Wow, wow, wow.
30:59I'm ready.
31:00I'm drinking.
31:01LAUGHTER
31:04While Teagan is on a high on the other side of the island,
31:09Bertie has hit a creative low writing his erotic story.
31:13Hello, Bertie.
31:15Hello.
31:16Surprised.
31:17Good out of nowhere.
31:18Hello.
31:19So I heard that you're having a little trouble with your story.
31:22I've been having a bit of trouble with the vast majority of this phase.
31:28OK.
31:29I'm not an erotic person in the slightest.
31:34Can you think of anything that might be interesting to you that is real?
31:38The thing is, there's nothing real about my love life,
31:45because I've never been on any, like, proper dates before or anything like that.
31:48That doesn't matter.
31:49Your thoughts are real inside your head.
31:52What do you think about?
31:56I'm not... I don't... I'm not saying it like this. I'm not...
32:01You are missing an opportunity for growth.
32:03And I know that's why you're here.
32:05Yeah, I get that.
32:06You don't have to show me anything, but if you're thinking of them right now,
32:09write them down, OK?
32:11All right.
32:12I'm just going to look over here, enjoy the scenery.
32:14OK.
32:15Tell me when I can turn around.
32:18When it comes to whenever I have sex,
32:21it would probably be the most basic thing ever.
32:24It would be boring and basic.
32:27But that's the thing I need to improve on.
32:29I just want to be more confident in that.
32:36That's the sound of my book closing.
32:38Good job!
32:39You did it!
32:40Yeah.
32:41Would you like... would you like to see it?
32:43OK.
32:44OK.
32:45Hope you can read my writing.
32:46OK. All right.
32:47This is my... yeah.
32:55Oh, Bertie.
32:57Yeah.
32:58That is really hot.
33:01I read a lot of dirty books, Bertie.
33:05And that sounds like some of my dirty books.
33:09I don't know what to say about that, but yeah.
33:12That's the first time I've shared things like that.
33:17What you wrote is a cohesive fantasy and it's beautiful and it's sexy.
33:22And that was all you had to do.
33:24OK.
33:25You nailed it.
33:26Thank you, Shelby.
33:27I appreciate that.
33:29I've got a bit of a high after doing that.
33:32Oh, I love you.
33:32I just shared something deeply personal to a woman that I only saw yesterday
33:38and only just spoke to about 15 minutes ago.
33:42This island's weird, isn't it?
33:53Just as quickly as the words left my mouth, a firm spank punishes my right cheek.
33:59A gasp radiates throughout my body and silences the forest.
34:03While the girls lose themselves in fantasy...
34:06It's just a safe space to share about feelings, emotions.
34:10The boys are discussing more real-world issues with Andre and Jason at a men's circle.
34:16I think I'm almost too scared to approach someone I like
34:21because of the fear of coming across as weird.
34:24Because I don't know what I'm doing.
34:26It's all a foreign language to me.
34:28Yeah.
34:29Especially if it's someone I've been interested in for a while.
34:32And I'm worried of coming across as, like, creepy or something.
34:37I would describe myself as undesirable to someone average at best.
34:43I wouldn't have the confidence to approach a girl in real life.
34:46Everyone I like, I do feel like they're kind of out of my league and I'm wasting my time.
34:51It's something I would really like to work on
34:53because it is one of the biggest hurdles I have personally.
34:56Just give it a go.
34:58It could be a rejection, but rejection is going to be part of all of our lives.
35:04Just gonna, like, get that out of the way.
35:06So the more you practice these things, like approaching, the easier it becomes.
35:12Coming up with the best line, that's all the land of performance.
35:15And when you can actually just be more authentic, which is, like, maybe more scary,
35:20but that is so attractive to people.
35:28Ed's fear of rejection is fueling his low self-esteem.
35:32Hello.
35:33Oh.
35:35I'm glad that we get to spend more time together.
35:37Yeah.
35:37Have a seat.
35:38So he's visiting Shelby who wants to reshape his thinking
35:42using a technique known as cognitive restructuring.
35:45What we're gonna kind of focus on today is changing this script, right?
35:50It can happen for you if we work on the real problem.
35:55And the real problem is your attitude.
35:58You need an attitude adjustment, right?
36:01Yeah.
36:02Ready to work for me?
36:03Of course.
36:05All right. Stand up.
36:09Ed has a really big wall up and he is trying not to be seen,
36:14which is unfortunate for him because I can see through that wall.
36:19Take up your shirt.
36:27Give it to me.
36:28Okay.
36:29I want you to stand in front of the mirror.
36:33What kind of thoughts and feelings are you having right now?
36:36I don't like my pets.
36:38Okay.
36:39I don't like my arms.
36:41I don't like my eyes.
36:42I don't like my mouth.
36:44I like my beard, but I think it's a bit weak.
36:47I love my hair, but sometimes I think it doesn't suit me.
36:49I just feel very average.
36:51So you don't want to be average?
36:53No.
36:53What do you want?
36:54I want to feel good.
36:56You know what's the easiest way to feel good?
37:00Is to stop being a whiny little bitch.
37:06Shelby's aim is to reflect Ed's negativity back at him,
37:10helping him to challenge and reframe his thinking.
37:13Tell me that you've been a whiny little bitch.
37:15I've been a whiny little bitch, mistress.
37:17You have been a whiny little bitch.
37:19Do you think you might value my opinion more than your own?
37:23100%.
37:24When it comes to what's desirable?
37:27Yep.
37:28Do you want to attract me?
37:30Yes.
37:30Do you want to attract other women like me?
37:32Yes.
37:33Then you're going to have to listen to me.
37:35Yeah.
37:35So the first thing that I noticed about you were your eyes.
37:40You have really beautiful eyes.
37:43Your beard makes you look really masculine.
37:45And women love beards.
37:47And when I first met you on the island,
37:49I didn't notice your arm and your hand at all.
37:54And I thought you were handsome.
37:56You're too distracted putting yourself down to put your focus out.
38:01And the only way you can do that is what?
38:04Stop being...
38:05A whiny little bitch.
38:07Yes, exactly.
38:13Does this work?
38:14Yes, mistress.
38:15I can take my pleasure from you here.
38:17This is fine.
38:19You do not have permission to go backwards from here.
38:24No more excuses.
38:25Yes, mistress.
38:26Good.
38:32You better be thinking about me, Ed.
38:34Of course.
38:34Every morning, when you look in the mirror, you do your work.
38:38Yes.
38:44Thanks, Shelby.
38:47Feeling really good.
38:48She makes me want to be the guy I want to be.
38:52I can say it to myself all day, and I don't believe it.
38:56But talking with Shelby makes me actually want to be that guy.
39:01I feel more empowered.
39:03I just needed a session like this to really remind me why I'm here and how far I've gone.
39:13Ed, what did you get up to?
39:16So she had the mirror and got me to say stuff I don't like about myself.
39:19And then she, like, countered it and, like, complimented me and telling me I was bullshit
39:23and I'm not going to be the whiny little bitch anymore.
39:25I've learnt to ignore the voice in my head.
39:27I mean, it would take practise to feel like I'd never listen to him again.
39:32But now I feel so much more love for myself.
39:38Bertie is also feeling more love for himself after writing his first erotic story.
39:43Hello.
39:45Boosted by his newfound confidence and having established a strong bond with surrogate partner Kat,
39:51she feels Bertie's ready for a radical next step.
39:55So, the first thing that we're going to do, it's undressing.
39:58OK.
39:59So, basically, we're going to just very slowly undress ourselves in front of each other.
40:04You'll be doing this too?
40:06Yes, we'll be getting naked together.
40:08OK.
40:09Does that feel...?
40:10It's a leap.
40:11Does it feel OK?
40:11It's a big leap, but it's a leap that I'm willing to take, so, yeah.
40:15OK, perfect.
40:16All right, whenever you're ready.
40:19It's one big leap for Bertie, but one small step in reaching his goal of losing his virginity.
40:27Good. How are you feeling?
40:28I did it.
40:29You did it?
40:30Yeah.
40:30So, Kat wants to challenge him further.
40:33We're going to do a little bit of an anatomy lesson on me.
40:36OK.
40:37Does that feel OK?
40:37That feels bold, but I'm looking forward to it.
40:41I obviously know what female genitals look like, but when it comes to dealing with one,
40:48when, if I ever have sex, I wouldn't know what to do.
40:52I'd know the different names of the different parts, but I don't know where's where.
40:58So, I wouldn't know where to, you know, aim.
41:03Do you want to try to find things?
41:06Yeah?
41:06OK.
41:06So, can you point to the outer labia?
41:12Nope.
41:15Nope.
41:16Oh, this is going to go well.
41:18This is the outer labia.
41:19Yeah.
41:19OK.
41:20Right here.
41:20All right.
41:21And then inner labia.
41:22Is it what I just pointed to?
41:24Mm-hmm.
41:24These.
41:25Yeah, both of those.
41:27And then the clitoris.
41:30This is the hard one.
41:31So, it's above the hood, as you call it.
41:35Is it here?
41:35Yeah.
41:36And the hood is actually above it.
41:38So, it's there.
41:39And that's the clitoris.
41:40Yeah.
41:41Yeah.
41:41Oh, sorry.
41:42No, it's OK.
41:43It's OK.
41:43It's just super sensitive.
41:45Don't worry about it.
41:46I was curious, that's all.
41:47And then the vaginal opening.
41:51It's here?
41:52Yep.
41:53Mm-hmm.
41:55And you can put your finger inside, too, to just feel what it feels like.
41:59You want me to put my fingers inside, like...
42:01The vagina.
42:02The vagina.
42:02Is that, like, here?
42:04Yeah, the vaginal opening, yeah.
42:08How does that feel?
42:10And just...
42:12And just, like, normalise the textures for yourself.
42:15Yeah.
42:16I'm just curious.
42:18OK.
42:18This is all for you to...
42:20OK.
42:21It doesn't smell of anything.
42:23In my...
42:24Yeah.
42:32I just want you to really focus on what feels good to you, yeah?
42:35Every single ounce feels so good to me.
42:44That was great.
42:45Thank you very much.
42:46Good job.
42:48You too.
42:52Have a good day.
42:54I think I will.
42:57Even the fact of just caressing and touching a woman's naked body is something that I've
43:02been wanting for, like, and thinking about for so long.
43:05And the fact I did that means so much to me.
43:09Kat's an incredible woman.
43:10And some of the things that she's allowed me to do has been nothing short of mind-blowing.
43:17Bloody Bertie.
43:19Did you have a one-on-one?
43:20I did.
43:22And I got it all off.
43:23So that was really, yeah.
43:25Give me a high five, Bert.
43:27Fantastic.
43:27Well done.
43:28Get in.
43:29Well done, well done.
43:30You feeling good?
43:31Yeah, great.
43:32Surprised I'm unable to stand up.
43:35What did she do to you, my guy?
43:40It's late afternoon on Virgin Island.
43:43I feel like I'm going to skip half my story because it's a lot of foreplay.
43:46Hello.
43:47Hi.
43:49And time for the group to brace themselves and reveal all.
43:53We cannot wait to see your courage in coming up and sharing these deep fantasies and desires with us.
44:02As the group read out their erotic stories.
44:05The very sight has my pussy wet and humming.
44:08A firm spank punishes my right ass cheek.
44:11It's clear that the playtime phase has unlocked some deep desires.
44:14The fair-haired vixen's hand quickly plunged below his trouser line.
44:18She manoeuvred herself on top of him, striding him like a wild stallion.
44:21I start touching my body and then I hear moans, moans that aren't coming from me.
44:27I look in the mirror and there she is, fingering herself on the edge of my bath.
44:31They slowly move into position, masturbating in sync, followed by the 69.
44:37Which I now know what it is.
44:39And for some, the course appears to be coming to a climax.
44:43I move to the bedside drawer and remove the strap on and handcuffs.
44:48I knew it.
44:49I whisper in her ear, are you ready to play?
44:51We shag until morning light until both our juices have run dry.
44:54Yes!
44:56Hello guys!
44:59Amazing!
45:00You did it!
45:01The end of the playtime phase!
45:05We're ready for a closing circle.
45:08I think playtime has been my favourite phase so far.
45:11I'm getting to the stage where I'm ready to lose my virginity.
45:14I think I learnt a hell of a lot about myself and I couldn't be happy with what I've learnt.
45:18Deep breath in.
45:21And I'll tell.
45:23I found Shelby Sessions incredibly important.
45:26It's really kind of a work in who I am to myself.
45:31I think my progress has essentially skyrocketed.
45:33And I'm going to take the lessons she's given me in keeping forever.
45:37Shake it out!
45:41In this phase, a lot of big things have happened to me and things I would never have imagined.
45:45But this is what this island is all about.
45:47You're on the rollercoaster and in the immortal words of Ronan Keating, you've just got to ride it.
45:57Next time...
45:58Whoa, that's going to kill someone.
46:00Things get more intense.
46:02In the technique phase.
46:04This may be the scariest workshop yet.
46:07Romance blossoms.
46:09Feelings are starting to happen and we want to make sure that they're equipped to deal with that.
46:13And someone...
46:15Goes all the way.
46:16There were 11 virgins left.
46:18Yeah.
46:19Yeah.
46:20There was a lot ofืื-polls.
46:24Thatnan Keating has been extremely good.
46:24But it was awesome.
46:30It was so fun and had to do this everywhere.
46:31Thank you very much.
46:33I hope you enjoyed it.
46:36Thank you very much.
46:36Have a great day.
46:36Thank you very much.
46:44Thank you very much.
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