- 22 minutes ago
Head Witch In Charge 🧙♀️🔥🌙
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01.
00:00:25Jesus, Mom, can you at least warn me
00:00:28when you're gonna do that? Please?
00:00:31Oh, please. Don't be such a child.
00:00:34Do you still have the Wand of Light?
00:00:45See? The all-powerful magic heirloom.
00:00:48Still safe and sound.
00:00:50Well, you should be more careful.
00:00:51The Wand of Light has the power
00:00:53to grant its user their deepest desires.
00:00:56Yeah.
00:00:56And if it falls into the wrong hands,
00:00:59it would become the most dangerous weapon in the world.
00:01:03But a marriage to another noble witch family
00:01:06would only strengthen your power.
00:01:08Yeah.
00:01:09Unless it's an evil Svensson, right?
00:01:12The Svensons are our worst enemies, Leona.
00:01:15Do you know how much our family has suffered
00:01:18over the centuries because of them?
00:01:20I know.
00:01:22Sorry.
00:01:23You are the guardian of the Wand of Light, Leona.
00:01:27And you can't reach your full potential
00:01:29until you marry and succeed me as head of the family.
00:01:33Come home with a husband next week,
00:01:35or I will pick one for you.
00:01:37What?
00:01:38Mom, no, please don't.
00:01:40Leona Sherwood, you are getting married
00:01:42whether you like the boy I pick or not.
00:01:45Mom, please.
00:01:45Understand?
00:01:49Don't worry, Mom.
00:01:51I'm the responsible daughter.
00:01:53Remember?
00:02:01Okay, Leona Sherwood.
00:02:03This is your last weekend of freedom.
00:02:09For two more nights.
00:02:11Fuck my responsibility.
00:02:14I'm gonna have some fun.
00:02:29That would be $25.
00:02:32I think you mean it's on the house.
00:02:34Right?
00:02:36Right.
00:02:37It's on the house.
00:02:56There you are, little Miss Sherwood.
00:03:06Where the hell are you?
00:03:07I'm in Vegas like I said it would be, old man.
00:03:09Hey, don't you get smart with me, you little shit.
00:03:13Remember your mission.
00:03:15Seduce the Sherwood heir and marry her,
00:03:17and then that whole obnoxious family
00:03:19will be there to pay off our debts.
00:03:21You mean your debts.
00:03:22Quiet!
00:03:23It's bad enough that I have a sorry excuse for an heir.
00:03:26You are an embarrassment to the Spence in name.
00:03:29Now, if you don't marry the Sherwood girl like I told you,
00:03:33I am going to sell your little sister off to old Fitzgerald to be his fourth wife.
00:03:38Dad.
00:03:39Dad's secret is just a kid.
00:03:41When I want your opinion, I will ask for it.
00:03:44Until then, you shut up and do as I say.
00:03:47Do you understand?
00:03:49Yeah.
00:03:50I understand.
00:03:51Good!
00:03:52And you!
00:03:53Keep practicing!
00:03:55You sound god-awful!
00:03:58Heartless fucking bastard.
00:04:13It's two of us.
00:04:15You're saying you don't remember me.
00:04:18Who remembers shitmen in his dumb teens anyways?
00:04:20No way.
00:04:21Totally.
00:04:22I love that show.
00:04:23I watched it in one sitting at like 2am.
00:04:26This is one of my favorites.
00:04:27It definitely doesn't get the love that it deserves.
00:04:29But I think it's one of the best ones.
00:04:31Really?
00:04:33I never begged you for a sappy romance kind of guy.
00:04:38Looks can be deceiving.
00:04:44The wand of light.
00:04:46So it does exist.
00:04:48Maybe I'm just jaded.
00:04:50It's hard to believe that love like that actually exists in real life.
00:04:53Why not?
00:04:54We're witches.
00:04:56Monsters and magic exist in our world.
00:04:58Why can't true love?
00:05:01I am Lili, by the way.
00:05:04Lili Collins.
00:05:08Eric Phillips.
00:05:09Nice to meet you.
00:05:11Lili Collins.
00:05:12Damn.
00:05:13He's hot.
00:05:14And I'm in Vegas.
00:05:15I deserve a little fun.
00:05:17Wow.
00:05:17Eric Phillips.
00:05:19I'll be in the poker room tonight.
00:05:21Maybe I'll see you there.
00:05:23Maybe.
00:05:42Okay, Svenson.
00:05:44Don't fuck this up.
00:05:48Okay, Svenson.
00:05:58Eric motherfucking Svenson.
00:06:01Excuse me?
00:06:02You ghost me for three months after sleeping with me?
00:06:04And you think you can sit there and act like nothing happened?
00:06:07I think you've got me confused with someone else.
00:06:09Don't gaslight me, Svenson.
00:06:11I know exactly who you are.
00:06:27You know who she is?
00:06:29I think she's got me confused with someone else.
00:06:43Are you nervous?
00:06:45Not at all.
00:06:47You can always vote, you know.
00:06:49I'd hate to send you home empty-handed.
00:06:53Not a chance.
00:06:55I'm here to win.
00:06:57You sure?
00:06:59Seems like your focus is somewhere else.
00:07:01Oh.
00:07:03I am very focused.
00:07:07Are you guys done making gugu eyes at each other or what?
00:07:12You're full of shit, Phillips.
00:07:14I call.
00:07:15Yeah, there is no way that you have this.
00:07:18But don't worry.
00:07:20I'll let you go another round.
00:07:22Once I beat you.
00:07:23Actually, I think I'm about to hit the jackpot.
00:07:29Eric?
00:07:37Eric?
00:07:50I have wanted to do that since I saw you by the pool in your bikini.
00:07:53Eric, everyone can see.
00:07:57Do you want me to stop?
00:08:13What's he?
00:08:14Let him watch.
00:08:16Give him a shower.
00:08:20Oh.
00:08:22Oh.
00:08:25Oh.
00:08:26Oh.
00:08:26Oh.
00:08:27Oh.
00:08:28Oh.
00:08:30Please don't stop.
00:08:31Use your words.
00:08:33Tell me what you want.
00:08:35I want your tongue inside me.
00:08:37Please.
00:08:38That's a good girl.
00:08:45Eric.
00:08:47Oh.
00:08:49Oh.
00:08:49Wait.
00:08:50Wait.
00:08:50I think I'm gonna...
00:08:53Was that some kind of vision?
00:08:58No.
00:08:59That was from him.
00:09:08Lucky son of a bitch.
00:09:11Beginner Lux, let's see you do it again next hand.
00:09:14No can do.
00:09:16I have a date with a very pretty lady.
00:09:24Why do I have the feeling that you're not exactly as you present, Eric Phillips?
00:09:31It is very nice.
00:09:33Isn't that part of the fun?
00:09:46You know, it wasn't very nice of you to tease me with your strap of your dress during our game.
00:09:53Hmm.
00:09:54It's very distracting.
00:09:57Well, you know, it wasn't very nice of you to send me that little vision during our game.
00:10:02I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview.
00:10:14Eric, there are people.
00:10:15And if you're quiet, they won't see you.
00:10:21I should stop.
00:10:22This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go.
00:10:25You know, you were right before.
00:10:26I'm not who I say I am.
00:10:29And who out there is exactly as they present?
00:10:33But I am...
00:10:33Look, I don't care who you are outside of this.
00:10:36For once in my life, I...
00:10:39I just want to forget about everything.
00:10:42Just live in the moment.
00:10:44And I think you...
00:10:47can help me do that.
00:10:55Remove the camouflage.
00:10:57I want you to see you.
00:11:00The real you.
00:11:02But then you'll know who I am.
00:11:05I already know who you are.
00:11:07The real you...
00:11:08wants to let go.
00:11:15No one's ever looked at me like that.
00:11:17He really wants me.
00:11:20The real me.
00:11:21Fuck.
00:11:23You are gorgeous.
00:11:27I want you, Eric.
00:11:30I need you.
00:11:35Spread your legs for me.
00:11:41Keep your eyes open.
00:11:44I want you to watch yourself come.
00:11:47All over my fingers.
00:11:53Keep your eyes open.
00:12:00I thought you said that they couldn't hear me.
00:12:02They can if you stay quiet.
00:12:04Keep your eyes open.
00:12:06Or I'll stop.
00:12:11That's a good girl.
00:12:13Look down at my hand.
00:12:18Oh my god, they hurt me.
00:12:21I can't.
00:12:22Just relax.
00:12:25I can't, Eric.
00:12:28It's okay.
00:12:29Don't think.
00:12:31Just kill.
00:12:33Tell me anything.
00:12:35I'm so good.
00:12:36But I need more, Eric.
00:12:41You feel so good.
00:12:44I can't wait to put my mouth on you.
00:12:48I'm so happy to make you come.
00:12:51I'll beat you there.
00:12:53I'm going to go down.
00:12:55I want you to scream my name when I come.
00:12:575, 4, 3, 2, 1.
00:13:28I can't believe I just came on his hand
00:13:31In front of other people
00:13:33I think this is your floor
00:13:41I'll be at the fountain tomorrow
00:13:43At 8 o'clock
00:13:45If you decide that you want more
00:13:47See you there
00:13:58How did he know what floor I was on?
00:14:06So you've told me all about
00:14:07Your wild sister
00:14:08And the things that she's done
00:14:11What about you?
00:14:15I'm the responsible sister
00:14:17The boring one
00:14:18If you will
00:14:20And I do what I'm supposed to do
00:14:22With all the rules
00:14:23And all that good stuff
00:14:25I don't believe you
00:14:26I mean
00:14:28I know how you are
00:14:29At an elevator
00:14:29Oh come on
00:14:33Come on
00:14:34It's Vegas
00:14:35Let me be your bad influence
00:14:37Just for divine
00:14:40So
00:14:42Any bad ideas?
00:14:47Just one
00:14:54What are you doing?
00:15:12No games
00:15:13Just fuck me already
00:15:14I thought I would try to woo you first
00:15:16Consider me wooed
00:15:18Then we could take it slow?
00:15:19Your lips say one thing
00:15:20But your body says something else
00:15:35Wait
00:15:37Shit
00:15:39I almost lost my cool
00:15:40I gotta remember the plan
00:15:44Oh my god
00:15:45I can't believe I just did that
00:15:47That was so embarrassing
00:15:48This is why I don't do crazy shit
00:15:50That was way too much
00:15:51Hey
00:15:52You're never too much
00:15:53You don't understand
00:15:55Eric
00:15:55Okay if my family saw me do any of that
00:15:58They would freak out
00:15:59Tonight's not about your family
00:16:01Tonight's about you
00:16:02Remember?
00:16:03Forget what everyone else has told you to do
00:16:06Do something that you want to do
00:16:08Something no one would expect
00:16:10Maybe he's right
00:16:12I've spent my whole life
00:16:13Doing what my family's told me to do
00:16:18For once in my life
00:16:20I'm doing something for myself
00:16:22She spotted the chapel
00:16:25Just like I planned
00:16:29So are you
00:16:30You sure about this marriage thing?
00:16:32It's only temporary
00:16:33Okay and old magic is weak
00:16:35The hand fast bond
00:16:36Will probably only last till the morning
00:16:38So
00:16:39Are you ready for a homie matrimony?
00:16:42I'm ready if you're ready
00:16:45Come on
00:16:49Let's go
00:16:55You nervous?
00:16:57Just
00:16:58Never been married before
00:17:08It's my sister
00:17:08I need to take this
00:17:09Oh yeah
00:17:10Take your time
00:17:11Elvis here wants me to pick out a hand fast bouquet
00:17:13Hey mama
00:17:14Let's get some flowers for you
00:17:15Come on
00:17:15Let's do it
00:17:17You need to come home
00:17:18Now
00:17:19I can't
00:17:20Secret
00:17:21Eric
00:17:21Dad's up to something
00:17:22He invited Fitzgerald to the house
00:17:24And made me dress up
00:17:26He looks at me weird
00:17:27It really freaks me out
00:17:28You were my big brother E
00:17:30I need you
00:17:31Here
00:17:31Listen I can't leave right now
00:17:33But I promise
00:17:34When I come home
00:17:35I'll have enough power
00:17:36To get rid of dad forever
00:17:37Okay?
00:17:41Hey
00:17:43Is everything okay?
00:17:45Yeah
00:17:48Yeah it's fine
00:17:51You uh
00:17:52You sure about this?
00:17:54It's only temporary
00:17:56Come on
00:17:57We'll be laughing about this for years
00:18:02Let's go
00:18:18Right
00:18:18Only temporary
00:18:20Unless you get hand fasted under a full moon
00:18:22Then a hand fast bond is nearly unbreakable
00:18:26But she doesn't know that
00:18:27And once she does
00:18:29She'll hate me
00:18:31Is your sister okay?
00:18:33Is something wrong?
00:18:36Nothing's wrong
00:18:37We're about to get buried in Vegas by Ovis
00:18:40What could possibly be wrong?
00:18:43Alright you ready to rock and roll
00:18:44You hunk a hunk a hot couple?
00:18:47Let's get this show started
00:18:49Woo!
00:19:16This is it
00:19:18I have the wand of light
00:19:20The most powerful object in the world
00:19:23If I leave now
00:19:24I could use it to take control away from my father
00:19:27Set secret and eye free
00:19:35But I already betrayed her once
00:19:41Let's catch up
00:19:42Let's get up
00:19:42I don't know.
00:20:19I'll have to get more chocolate strawberries.
00:20:22Be back soon.
00:20:32It's only temporary.
00:20:34Okay, and old magic is weak.
00:20:35The hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning.
00:20:38Hmm.
00:20:40That's weird.
00:20:40The mark should have worn off by now.
00:20:51So, did you marry the girl yet?
00:20:57No, it's...
00:20:58complicated.
00:21:00Complicated?
00:21:01Or distracted?
00:21:03You were sent there to marry the Sherwood heir
00:21:06and bind her power to this family,
00:21:08not to play house.
00:21:09You're a Svensson.
00:21:11Act like one.
00:21:12Eric is a Svensson?
00:21:16I married my family's worst enemy?
00:21:18I don't need you to tell me what I am.
00:21:21Then stop hesitating.
00:21:23If the rumors about the wand of light are true,
00:21:25we might catch an even bigger prize.
00:21:28So hurry up and marry the Sherwood girl
00:21:30and then bring her to me.
00:21:33Idiot.
00:21:41He's been lying this whole time.
00:21:49I need to tell her the truth.
00:21:53You lying piece of troll shit!
00:21:56You didn't want me.
00:21:57You just wanted the fucking wand, didn't you?
00:22:01I didn't even know the wand existed until I met you.
00:22:03You still lied to me, Eric.
00:22:05You knew I was a Sherwood from the start.
00:22:07That's why you gave me a fake fucking name, right?
00:22:09Okay, I did, but that was before we...
00:22:11Before you decided to mess with me?
00:22:13Get your dick wet before you ruin me and my family forever?
00:22:17I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:22:18I'm trying to save mine.
00:22:19Oh, I know all about you, Svensons.
00:22:22All you do is lie and cheat and steal
00:22:25to get whatever you fucking want.
00:22:27I should have caught it at the poker table,
00:22:29but your little tricks won't work on me this time.
00:22:33The hand fast, Mark, it'll fade.
00:22:35Just like you, just like whatever this was.
00:22:38The hand fast wasn't a trick.
00:22:40Not that part.
00:22:40Not with you.
00:22:43It doesn't matter, Eric.
00:22:45You will never, ever get the wand.
00:22:49Lily, what?
00:22:51When this fades, Eric,
00:22:53I will never have to see you again.
00:23:08So, that didn't happen.
00:23:12My older sister, Effie, told me that the mark would fade a week later.
00:23:17Then a month went by.
00:23:21Then, well...
00:23:25See, this is where you don't fuck with old magic.
00:23:28It's all fun and games, so there's a full moon.
00:23:30Then it's the most powerful magic in the universe.
00:23:37Apparently, getting a hand fast married under a full moon creates a bond that's almost unbreakable.
00:23:44Also, apparently, the almost part means that both people have to perform the divorce spell.
00:23:52I tried calling, texting, sending flying monkeys, nothing, not a single word from my beloved husband for half a year.
00:24:12Yes, I still sleep with a wand under my pillow.
00:24:16So, the emotional ass whooping I got from my mother for getting hand fasted to a stranger was bad enough.
00:24:21No one can ever find out that I almost lost the wand, too.
00:24:26I just need one night to sleep without thinking about him.
00:24:54Who are you?
00:24:56What do you want with the wand of light?
00:24:59Nothing.
00:24:59Nothing. I'm just here to collect my payday from my client once I bring him that wand.
00:25:05Payday?
00:25:06Someone sent you!
00:25:07Who?
00:25:08I'm afraid I can't break client confidentiality.
00:25:10Sorry, sweetie.
00:25:13Well, I'm afraid that you chose the wrong witch to fuck with tonight.
00:25:17Ugh!
00:25:20Ugh!
00:25:22Ugh!
00:25:23Ugh!
00:25:25Ugh!
00:25:25Ugh!
00:25:26Ugh!
00:25:26Ugh!
00:25:26Ugh!
00:25:28Ugh!
00:25:29Be wise not to fight back, witch.
00:25:31You're in over your head.
00:25:34I'd rather die than let you take the wand!
00:25:38Ugh!
00:25:39Ugh!
00:25:44Suit yourself.
00:25:46Ugh!
00:25:48Ugh!
00:25:50Ugh!
00:25:51Ugh!
00:25:52Ugh!
00:25:52Suit yourself.
00:25:53Ugh!
00:25:53Ugh!
00:25:54Ugh!
00:25:54Ugh!
00:26:04Look!
00:26:06Ugh!
00:26:08Got off me!
00:26:09She has the wand!
00:26:11I got the wand.
00:26:12I'll get the rest later.
00:26:15Ugh!
00:26:17Ugh!
00:26:19Ugh!
00:26:20Ugh!
00:26:21Ugh!
00:26:21Ugh!
00:26:21Ugh!
00:26:21Ugh!
00:26:23Ugh!
00:26:23Who are you?
00:26:29The hand fast mark.
00:26:34Hello, wife.
00:26:35Miss me?
00:26:39What are you doing here?
00:26:41You know, I thought I'd spice up our marriage, do a little role-playing, but it looks like you're more
00:26:46into bondage.
00:26:47I didn't know you were so kinky.
00:26:48Shut up!
00:26:53You should be thanking me. I did just save your life.
00:26:55Thanking you?
00:26:56You're the reason my family's most powerful heirloom is gone.
00:26:59How did you even find me?
00:27:02Wait a minute.
00:27:04You were trying to steal the wand too, weren't you?
00:27:07Maybe.
00:27:09Oh, you slimy, tote-faced motherfucker!
00:27:13Okay, first you tricked me into marrying you, then you ghost me for six months,
00:27:17and now you come in here like a goddamn fucking cartoon burglar and try to take my wand!
00:27:23Look, I was just gonna borrow it!
00:27:25Yeah, for one of your dirty, no-good, spins and schemes?
00:27:29I just... I need it, okay? It's... it's the only way that we can be free.
00:27:36Look, my dad doesn't know about our marriage. Not yet. But he knows about the wand.
00:27:40If he gets a hold of it, he's gonna sail to the highest bidder.
00:27:43Whoever controls the wand has the power to take over the world. Or... worse.
00:27:47No! Worse than tricking me into marrying you?
00:27:50I told you that that wasn't a trick.
00:27:52It doesn't matter, Eric. She has the wand! That shadow thief or whatever!
00:27:58And that's your fault!
00:27:59I can get it back!
00:28:02Look, I know I don't deserve it.
00:28:03But just... give me one more chance.
00:28:06I can get the wand back, take care of what I need to take care of,
00:28:09and then I'll do the divorce spell.
00:28:11Please, Lili, just... give me one more chance. Please.
00:28:15I can't trust him. I shouldn't.
00:28:19But my gut tells me... this time... it might be different.
00:28:29No.
00:28:31No, we're both gonna go get it.
00:28:34It is my job as a Sherwood heir to set things right.
00:28:37So I don't let the wand fall into the wrong hands.
00:28:41And you really think after Vegas, I would let you go alone
00:28:44to find the most powerful magical object in the entire world?
00:28:48Fair. Uh... whatever you want. Lili.
00:28:52God, I hate when you call me that.
00:28:54All right. I'll call you wife.
00:28:57And you can call me whatever you want.
00:29:00Eric. Husband. Daddy.
00:29:02Shut up!
00:29:03Don't call me wife either.
00:29:05After we get this wand, we will do the divorce spell.
00:29:07Got it?
00:29:08You're breaking my heart.
00:29:09I mean, you're the better half of my soul.
00:29:13Yeah. You're not gonna sweet-talk your way into my pants again, Eric.
00:29:16We'll see.
00:29:22Now, the wand forbids a direct tracking spell, so we have to track its trail.
00:29:27That's a ten-mile radius. We'll never find the wand inside that circle.
00:29:31Well, with the tracking spell, I get a location, okay?
00:29:34It doesn't last long, though.
00:29:36We'll have like three or four days.
00:29:37Well, lucky for you, I already packed our bags.
00:29:42Consider it our official honeymoon.
00:29:48After this, we're done.
00:29:50You got it?
00:29:50Don't go back on your words, Venson.
00:29:52We will do the divorce spell.
00:29:54Cross my heart.
00:29:56Hope to die.
00:30:15You magicked a car here?
00:30:17This isn't just any car.
00:30:25This is Bessie.
00:30:27You really expect us to track down the most powerful, magical object in the world?
00:30:32In a car without a roof?
00:30:34I mean, if you're not comfortable, I could go by myself.
00:30:43If you trust me not to run away.
00:30:45Hmm.
00:30:46I wouldn't trust you with a half-eaten newt muffin.
00:30:49I was gonna throw in the trash.
00:30:53Then your chariot awaits.
00:30:55Wife.
00:31:15We've been driving all day, and she hasn't said a single word.
00:31:30You're Svensson.
00:31:32You don't play house with sheriffs.
00:31:34Wait, why are we turning?
00:31:35We don't have any time.
00:31:36We have to find the wand, Eric.
00:31:39That circle is getting further and further away.
00:31:42Plus, it's getting dark.
00:31:43We need to stay somewhere for the night.
00:31:44Why don't you just let me drive?
00:31:46Because you haven't slept either.
00:31:48Plus, no one can drive Bessie but me.
00:31:51What is with guys and cars?
00:31:53Jesus.
00:31:53No.
00:31:54I mean literally, no one else can drive Bessie.
00:31:57My great-great-grandfather put a hex on all of our possessions.
00:32:00Anyone that's non-blood related can't touch anybody.
00:32:03The Svensons like to hoard their treasures.
00:32:06Your family has issues.
00:32:08Finally.
00:32:09Something we can agree on.
00:32:11Was this your plan all along?
00:32:13To make me feel bad for you because your family's evil,
00:32:15so I get all ooey gooey and forget about the divorce?
00:32:18Not everyone in my family is evil.
00:32:21Yeah.
00:32:22Okay.
00:32:35You cross this wall or do anything to piss me off more than you already have,
00:32:40then you do not even want to imagine the hex I'm going to put on you.
00:32:48I promise, no funny business.
00:32:52Pinky promise.
00:32:53I promise.
00:33:12I promise.
00:33:13Good night to you two.
00:33:15What?
00:33:28In Vegas
00:33:30You said you had a sister, right?
00:33:34Yeah
00:33:36Sigrid
00:33:38She didn't ask to be a Svinsen
00:33:40She's different than us
00:33:43Better
00:33:45Not like you?
00:33:47No
00:33:49Not like me
00:33:50But you already know that
00:34:31But you already know that
00:34:44Good morning, wife
00:34:46I told you not to call me
00:35:04You were saying something?
00:35:07What?
00:35:10How did you know I was awake?
00:35:13The husband always knows
00:35:18Well, if you don't mind, I'm gonna shower
00:35:27No peeking
00:35:32Cross my heart
00:35:34Hope to die
00:35:42I need to get a grip
00:35:44Some washboard abs and a cocky grin aren't enough to make me fall for him
00:35:50I just need this one time
00:35:54To take the edge off
00:36:02I remember
00:36:03I remember
00:36:04He touched me like this in Vegas
00:36:18Look, I'm so close
00:36:25That's it, Lily
00:36:27Be a good girl
00:36:29Be a good girl
00:36:30And go for me
00:36:37Are you ready?
00:36:41Okay
00:36:43Eric
00:36:57You said that you wouldn't look
00:37:01I don't need to look to know what you were doing
00:37:04While thinking about me
00:37:07God, you are so full of yourself
00:37:09Do I know what I heard?
00:37:11Say another word
00:37:12And I'll turn you into a frog
00:37:17Were you thinking about that time
00:37:19In Vegas
00:37:21Where I ate you out
00:37:22In the shower
00:37:23And you came so hard
00:37:25You almost crushed my skull
00:37:26Between your thighs
00:37:29I think about those times a lot
00:37:32Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all
00:37:59You still haven't even told me
00:38:00What you want the wand for yet
00:38:03It's on a need-to-know basis
00:38:04Oh, don't you think I need to know?
00:38:08I am your wife, after all
00:38:10Oh, now you remember you're my wife
00:38:13Funny how you only remember that
00:38:14Once convenient for you
00:38:15I remember every time I think about
00:38:17How badly I fucked up in Vegas
00:38:19So all I am is a mistake
00:38:20If I remember right
00:38:21You're the one that suggested
00:38:23That we get hand-fast married
00:38:24Obviously that was before
00:38:25I knew about all your bullshit and lies
00:38:29Duty and responsibility
00:38:30Might not be a big deal in your family
00:38:32But in mine, it's huge
00:38:34See? There you go again
00:38:36Always worried about what your family wants
00:38:38It's never about what you want
00:38:39I follow the rules because I have to, Eric
00:38:42If I don't, I end up in situations like this
00:38:45Did you ever stop to think
00:38:47That maybe that's unfair?
00:38:48That maybe your ideas
00:38:50And their ideas are bullshit?
00:38:52You ever think of that?
00:38:54Spoken like a true Spinson
00:38:56Well, you're a Spinson too, sweetheart
00:38:58Not much longer, I can tell you that
00:39:19I want to get some coffee
00:39:21It's getting dark
00:39:21You really think you should be alone?
00:39:23So now that we're married
00:39:24You think you have to babysit me too?
00:39:30Fine, just don't take too long
00:39:35You got her in the car or what?
00:39:38Who?
00:39:38Don't play dumb with me, boy
00:39:40The little Sherwood witch you married
00:39:43Forgot to tell me about
00:39:46You thought I wouldn't find out, huh?
00:39:49You did a good job of hiding it
00:39:50I'll give you that
00:39:51Maybe you are my son, after all, huh?
00:39:54What's the end game here?
00:39:56You said you just needed to get the Sherwood's wand
00:39:58So you could pay off your debts
00:39:59What does she have to do with it?
00:40:00Because I'm not an idiot like you
00:40:03I'll finally have all the leverage I need
00:40:05Over the Sherwood family
00:40:07When I tell them their pretty little heir
00:40:10Is my new daughter-in-law
00:40:11And then it'll be our family that gets to call the shots in the magic world
00:40:16So you just want to use her
00:40:18Like you use mom
00:40:19Like you're using your own daughter
00:40:21This is not a request, boy
00:40:23Bring the girl and the wand to me
00:40:26Or you will be stripped of your name
00:40:28Your magic, everything
00:40:29And your sister, she'll be the one paying the price for your mistakes
00:40:44This isn't right
00:40:45The trail should still be here
00:40:48Would you like some coffee, Ms. Sherwood?
00:40:50Yeah, thank you
00:40:51Wait, how did you know my
00:40:54You
00:40:58But the map said that
00:41:00That's cute
00:41:01You think that dusty old map could track me?
00:41:09That wand is mine
00:41:14Not anymore, it's not
00:41:15And sadly, my employers need your powers, too
00:41:18Employer?
00:41:22Hold still
00:41:23This will only hurt a bit
00:41:25No, stop, stop
00:41:33No, stop
00:41:35Get away from her
00:41:40Eric, the wand
00:41:53My magic
00:41:55She took half of my magic, Eric
00:41:57You're okay, I got you
00:42:00You're okay
00:42:03You don't understand
00:42:04The map said that the wand was miles away
00:42:07What did she want with my powers?
00:42:10Thief must have found some way to bypass the tracking spell
00:42:13She can't have gone far, we'll find her
00:42:15Lay low for now
00:42:16Eric, stop the car, I can't breathe
00:42:19Okay
00:42:26Hey, hey, hey
00:42:30Look at me, look at me
00:42:32You're okay
00:42:32You're okay
00:42:33Just breathe
00:42:34I got you
00:42:36You're safe
00:42:37I thought she was gonna kill me, Eric
00:42:41I'm not gonna let that happen
00:42:43Not while I'm breathing
00:42:57I still hate you
00:43:01If you hated me
00:43:03You wouldn't let me touch you like this
00:43:06This doesn't change anything
00:43:08It's only scratching an itch
00:43:10Once we get the wand
00:43:12And we do the divorce spell
00:43:14And we forget each other existed
00:43:20Is that what you want, Lily?
00:43:23You wanna forget how good I make you feel?
00:43:26You wanna forget
00:43:27I'm the only person in the whole fucking world
00:43:30Who can make you feel this way
00:43:36Eric
00:43:39Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
00:43:47We can't do this
00:43:51This is what goes wrong between us
00:43:52We can't make that mistake again
00:43:54We have a job to do, Eric
00:43:56Let's get the wand
00:43:57That's it
00:43:59And then what?
00:44:01You know what happens after, Eric
00:44:04We do the divorce spell
00:44:06And we never see each other again
00:44:07We can't do this
00:44:39It smells like fresh baked pastries
00:44:41Cinnamon
00:44:45Old magic
00:44:49I should have known
00:44:50It's a Seder's inn
00:44:53That spell
00:44:54The nomenin habitus smell
00:44:57It's woven into places like this
00:44:59For couples
00:45:02You mean or cheese
00:45:05Seder's are the horniest bastards in the lone world
00:45:08It lowers any fear
00:45:11Doubt
00:45:12Shame
00:45:13Grants of your deepest desires
00:45:16Without any fear of
00:45:19Judgment or
00:45:21Consequences
00:45:28Here I don't
00:45:30I'm trying not to
00:45:39Here I don't
00:45:44I'm trying not to
00:45:51The spell
00:45:53Doesn't create desire
00:45:54It lets go of the lies
00:45:57It tells us what we really want
00:45:59What I want
00:46:00What I want doesn't matter
00:46:02It matters in here
00:46:05Tell me what you really want
00:46:07You can say goodbye
00:46:09And go our separate ways
00:46:11Or you can tell me you want this
00:46:15You want me
00:46:18Tell me
00:46:19Tell me
00:46:19Tell me to stay
00:46:22Stay here
00:46:23Please
00:46:24God what is this
00:46:27Is this just the magic
00:46:29No
00:46:32It's not the spell
00:46:34It's freedom
00:46:37Even here the outside world doesn't matter
00:46:39Just you
00:46:41And me
00:46:44I shouldn't want this
00:46:46I know
00:46:49I shouldn't be doing this
00:46:53Or this
00:46:55Be able to share with
00:46:57To the most respected family of the whole rich world
00:47:01You definitely shouldn't sound this fucking sexy
00:47:05To mine
00:47:07You love the ear
00:47:08To the Sherwood family
00:47:12Who are you?
00:47:14I want you
00:47:15Eric
00:47:16I need you
00:47:20Tell me who you are
00:47:24Lily
00:47:24Close
00:47:29But not quite
00:47:32Tonight
00:47:33Tell me who you are
00:47:35Your wife
00:48:01This doesn't change anything
00:48:03I know
00:48:05We can have tonight
00:48:06And then
00:48:07Tomorrow we go back to who we are on the outside
00:48:10Sure
00:48:11I'll go back to being my bad self
00:48:13And you can go back to pretending to be a good little witch
00:48:17Excuse me
00:48:18Don't deny
00:48:19Lily
00:48:19Share what's been said
00:48:21I know what kind of dork
00:48:23Naughty thoughts you have
00:48:26I don't
00:48:28It's okay to be bad
00:48:31You don't have to pretend
00:48:35I don't
00:48:35Huh
00:48:39You know just because I have half my magic
00:48:42Doesn't mean I can't play with you for tonight
00:48:55Now you're gonna sit there
00:48:58Like a good
00:49:00Little
00:49:01Witch
00:49:06And I'm
00:49:08And until
00:49:09Ever
00:49:10I
00:49:11Want
00:49:14To you
00:49:18I don't remember packing that lingerie
00:49:21Close your eyes
00:49:25Eric you're so good
00:49:27For being such a bad boy
00:49:30I am
00:49:32Being properly motivated
00:49:36Not to move
00:49:39See how long it takes you to break
00:49:41For you I could stay here forever
00:49:43Pretty to think so
00:49:45Why don't we test that little theory
00:49:47Huh
00:49:48We're playing a dangerous game
00:49:51All you have to do
00:49:54Is admit that I win
00:49:57I'll let you fuck me
00:49:59I'll even
00:50:01Let you come wherever you want
00:50:06You can come here
00:50:10Or here
00:50:13I'll even
00:50:14Let you come in here
00:50:16God
00:50:18Come on
00:50:20I know you wanna
00:50:22Just admit
00:50:24That I'm right
00:50:27Fine
00:50:28You win
00:50:30Oh what was that
00:50:31You hurt me
00:50:42So what's my prize
00:50:48I could
00:50:49Torture you
00:50:50Like you did me
00:50:53But I wanna be inside you
00:50:55I wanna feel you
00:50:56Squeeze me tight
00:50:59And take me to bed
00:51:00Husband
00:51:04Call me that again
00:51:08You want me to fuck you
00:51:09Husband
00:51:10Yeah
00:51:11Fuck me
00:51:20Tell me a story
00:51:24Like the ones you did in Vegas
00:51:27I've got a story about
00:51:29My pet goat Gilmore
00:51:31And how he got stuck on a magic carpet
00:51:35Or the story about
00:51:36How my sister tried to negotiate with a troll
00:51:39Using only redimates
00:51:43I already know about your family
00:51:47I wanna know about you
00:51:50What's it like to be a Svensson heir
00:51:52You want the insider info
00:51:56You tell me yours
00:51:57I'll tell you mine
00:51:58You gonna tell me how wonderful it was
00:52:01Growing up as a beloved
00:52:02And blessed Sherwood
00:52:07Is that what you think
00:52:08Being a show what is like
00:52:11Is that what you think
00:52:12Being a show what is like
00:52:14All fun and rainbows
00:52:16Yeah everybody loves your family
00:52:18That's not true Eric
00:52:19There are so many people
00:52:21Who would love it
00:52:22If we just disappeared
00:52:23My mother has been shouldering
00:52:25All that responsibility
00:52:26And pressure for decades
00:52:27And next year I will be the head witch in charge
00:52:32Everyone's counting on me to do the right thing
00:52:34Like eat your fruits and veggies
00:52:35Like spending my whole childhood
00:52:37Being told that the whole world depended on me
00:52:41Like never bothering to have any hopes
00:52:44Or dreams
00:52:45Because my whole life was planned for me
00:52:48From the very start
00:52:48Before I was even born
00:52:50I'm always doing the right thing for the family
00:52:52I was never allowed to even think
00:52:54Of doing the wrong thing
00:52:56I couldn't be tired
00:52:58I couldn't be scared
00:52:59I couldn't be angry
00:53:00One mistake
00:53:01And my family
00:53:02Loses everything that they've ever worked for
00:53:04If this whole world fades to black
00:53:06It's because I messed up
00:53:08It's because I didn't do a good job
00:53:13I don't think I've ever said that out loud before
00:53:16I'm glad you did
00:53:19Your turn
00:53:22Growing up with Svensson was
00:53:24A little different
00:53:26The old man likes to say I was
00:53:29The first of his disappointments
00:53:31I guess it's good
00:53:33At least I was first in something
00:53:36I didn't care about disappointing him
00:53:38I just wanted to get away from him
00:53:41I had it all planned out
00:53:42When I turned 16
00:53:44I'd leave, change my name
00:53:46And the Svensson bloodline would die with me
00:53:48My mom died when Secret was born
00:53:53My dad used her against me
00:53:56Every day since
00:54:03I'm so sorry, Eric
00:54:04I shouldn't have asked
00:54:09It's okay
00:54:11Svensson's have always lived in the Sherwood shadows
00:54:14We are the shadows
00:54:19All you do is shine
00:54:30He always asks me what I want
00:54:34What do you want, Eric?
00:54:39You'd hate me if I told you
00:54:41I mean, more than you already do
00:54:46I don't hate you
00:54:49I never did
00:55:12I never did
00:55:25Eric, something's wrong
00:55:27Dad's got visitors
00:55:28A bunch of old guys
00:55:30I don't know who they are
00:55:31He made me play piano for them
00:55:33Like some kind of dress-up doll
00:55:35It's like freaking me out
00:55:41Eric
00:55:43Are you safe?
00:55:48Eric
00:55:49Are you safe?
00:55:50For now
00:55:52All those weird old men lived last night
00:55:55And I hexed my door so no one could get in
00:55:58Don't let anyone in
00:55:59If Dad tries to get you to play with any of those weird old men
00:56:01I know
00:56:03I'll just do what he says
00:56:06I always do
00:56:08I'm so sick of this E
00:56:10What if he actually does make me marry one of those guys?
00:56:12I'm never gonna let that happen, alright?
00:56:15Look
00:56:16I'm close to getting the Wand of Light
00:56:19The Wand of Light?
00:56:21Like
00:56:22The one from the fairy tales?
00:56:24You can't tell Dad
00:56:26Secret
00:56:27When I get the Wand
00:56:29Be ready for my call
00:56:30I have a plan
00:56:31I barely know basic spells
00:56:35I don't know
00:56:35You can
00:56:37I know you can
00:56:39When the time is right, you'll be ready
00:56:48Call ended
00:57:08Filling up Bessie
00:57:09Meet me downstairs when you're ready
00:57:20Oh my god
00:57:22Why do you and mom always do that?
00:57:24A bit high strung, aren't you sis?
00:57:28I was just in the middle of thinking
00:57:29Yeah, and going by your aura
00:57:31I can guess about who
00:57:33Very much giving post-orgasmic afterglow
00:57:36Oh, yeah
00:57:37Well, you and your little aura reading
00:57:38Can go jump in a lake
00:57:40Oh, aren't we feisty this morning
00:57:42Your super hot hubby isn't around, I'm guessing
00:57:45Or have you already murdered him after catching his dick?
00:57:48I know all the best places to hide a body, by the way
00:57:52I'm fine, Effie
00:57:54I know all about Eric Spenson
00:57:56I'm not stupid
00:57:57And when we get the wand back
00:57:59You mean if you get the wand back?
00:58:02We will
00:58:03And when we do
00:58:05We'll do the divorce spell
00:58:06This mark will be gone
00:58:08I'll go home and
00:58:10Marry the best person who serves our family alliance
00:58:16It's not fair, you know
00:58:18I know I'm the last person who should be saying that
00:58:21Because it's not like I can change it
00:58:23But it's not
00:58:26It's just the way it goes
00:58:27Right?
00:58:28There has to be a way for you to be with who you actually want
00:58:31And be a good heir
00:58:35Effie, what I want has nothing to do with anything in my life
00:58:39That's fine
00:58:40It's what it means to be a Sherwood
00:58:43Just remember
00:58:45Repeating it doesn't make it true
00:58:48Alright
00:58:50Whatever you say, sis
00:58:51You know best
00:58:54I know
00:58:55Give everyone a hug from me
00:58:58Tell them I'll be back home soon
00:59:08Last night was the last time
00:59:10After today, we're done
00:59:13If I say that enough times
00:59:15Maybe I'll finally believe it
00:59:26I'll tell you about my plan with the wand
00:59:30My family's magic is dying
00:59:32My father's been cashing in on broken promises for years
00:59:35But he holds most of the power
00:59:37And me and Sieg, we just get to scratch
00:59:39That's how he controls us
00:59:42If I could use the wand just once
00:59:45I could take his power away from the bread
00:59:47I'm not trying to ruin your family
00:59:49I'm trying to save mine
00:59:50It's the only way that we can be free
00:59:54That's what you meant by
00:59:56Trying to save your family
00:59:58I was gonna tell you the night before
01:00:00I was gonna tell you the truth
01:00:02And then I was just gonna ask if I could use the wand
01:00:05Just once
01:00:06And then I would do whatever you want
01:00:08Get a divorce
01:00:10Leave you alone
01:00:11Forever
01:00:12Why didn't you tell me
01:00:16Why didn't you tell me that morning
01:00:17Maybe things could have been different
01:00:21I would have asked you to stay
01:00:23It's a nice idea
01:00:26But our families have been at war
01:00:28Since the beginning of time
01:00:30Maybe if we were different people
01:00:33We have different lives
01:00:35This is what it works
01:00:38Maybe we can work
01:00:40Maybe the wand has a spell for that, Eric
01:00:43A witch can hope
01:00:51What?
01:00:53Do I have mushrooms growing out of the side of my head?
01:00:56Why are you looking at me like that?
01:01:09Wait, I'm driving
01:01:11Pull over
01:01:30You have got to be kidding me
01:01:39End of the line, witches
01:02:04Eric
01:02:04Eric
01:02:05Eric
01:02:05Eric
01:02:14I can't help him!
01:02:28Now's not a good time, old man.
01:02:30Well, it sounds like my insurance policy worked.
01:02:34You... you set the shadows, please?
01:02:37Of course I set her.
01:02:39Do you think I would trust you to finish the job?
01:02:53Demons are very expensive, you know?
01:02:56But, I thought that the Sherwood girl's soul in exchange for the wand was a good enough bargain.
01:03:05Souls of magic users apparently taste better.
01:03:19You said you needed her alive.
01:03:21The Sherwoods will never pay off your debts if you kill their heir.
01:03:23I've reconsidered.
01:03:25Once I have that wand, I will be the most powerful witch alive.
01:03:30Debts won't matter.
01:03:32The stupid Sherwoods won't matter.
01:03:34And as for the girl, well...
01:03:35I don't need her breathing to use her power.
01:03:39I can always marry Sigridoth to form new alliances.
01:03:43Guess you won't be trapped in a marriage after all, son.
01:03:48You're welcome.
01:03:51Go to hell, old man.
01:04:03Take it!
01:04:06No!
01:04:07No!
01:04:08Your soul will be delicious!
01:04:11No!
01:04:17I can take dad's magic, and to him, finally be free.
01:04:26Get off my wife!
01:04:35You'll pay for that witch!
01:04:48This isn't the last you'll see of me.
01:04:55Hey, I've got you.
01:04:57You didn't run.
01:04:59You're kidding?
01:05:00I'd be a pretty shitty husband if I let my wife's soul get sucked out by a demon.
01:05:07Eric!
01:05:08You can't get rid of me that easily.
01:05:10No, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:12Eric!
01:05:13Oh my God!
01:05:15Eric, no, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:17Oh my God!
01:05:20I can't save you, I don't have my powers!
01:05:23Why didn't you run?
01:05:26You could have saved yourself!
01:05:29I've been saving myself.
01:05:31My whole life.
01:05:33I thought I'd try something new.
01:05:36You idiot.
01:05:37You stupid, stupid idiot.
01:05:40Yeah.
01:05:42But I'm your idiot.
01:05:50You took a devil's spell.
01:05:53I had a promise.
01:05:55Now you're free.
01:05:58I don't want to be free.
01:06:02I don't want to be free.
01:06:05I want to be with you.
01:06:07Just keep secrets safe.
01:06:10Safe from my father.
01:06:12Safe from all of it.
01:06:15You know, those days in Vegas were the best three days of my life.
01:06:22All right, let's get this show started, okay?
01:06:27I love you.
01:06:29I love you.
01:06:31I love you, too.
01:06:32I love you.
01:06:34I love you.
01:06:35Eric.
01:06:38No!
01:06:42No!
01:06:43I love you.
01:06:45I love you.
01:07:00The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
01:07:10Please, please, please, please.
01:07:20Please, please.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:25Please.
01:07:37You absolute moron.
01:07:42You absolute moron.
01:07:44Be gentle. I was dead for like 10 seconds.
01:07:49You're alive.
01:07:51That is for divorcing me on your literal deathbed, you asshole.
01:07:55I thought I was doing something noble, something cool.
01:07:59Did the wand give you your power back?
01:08:03My mom used to say that the wand's user granted its deepest desire.
01:08:08I guess it knew what I really wanted.
01:08:11What did you want?
01:08:14You.
01:08:17Don't scare me like that again, okay?
01:08:19You know, I thought I heard something, but I was bleeding out.
01:08:29Maybe you could say it again?
01:08:35Maybe you could say it again?
01:08:39I love you, Eric's Vincent.
01:08:43That's my girl.
01:08:50Let's go.
01:09:03You ready for one last stop?
01:09:07Yeah.
01:09:26Ah, there you are.
01:09:30I knew I could always trust a demon to get the job done.
01:09:35Now, where is my wand?
01:09:38Wait.
01:09:39You're supposed to be dead.
01:09:41Wow.
01:09:42You weren't kidding.
01:09:43He really is evil.
01:09:45I put a barrier around this whole house.
01:09:48It's impossible.
01:09:48There's no way you should be able to be in here.
01:09:50There's always a loophole.
01:09:51Hold, man.
01:09:55Secret, you ungrateful brat.
01:09:58How dare you betray me like this?
01:10:00Really, Dad?
01:10:01Playing the family card after you almost sold me into child marriage?
01:10:05You ungrateful little pests.
01:10:15You're powerless now, old man.
01:10:17Magic's gone.
01:10:18Forever.
01:10:32Eric, Otis, Svensson, release me this instant.
01:10:36That is an order.
01:10:39You can handle it from here, right?
01:10:41His powers are gone.
01:10:42It doesn't scare me anymore.
01:10:46You ungrateful little brats.
01:10:48Both of you, you'll pay for this.
01:10:49You will both pay for this.
01:10:55Yeah, yeah.
01:10:56Talk soon, pups.
01:10:58We're going to hit the road.
01:10:59I said get back here.
01:11:00I said get back here.
01:11:02Get back here.
01:11:03Please don't do this, you little bitch.
01:11:22So, where to now?
01:11:24Should we go and drop off the wand of life?
01:11:28Yeah.
01:11:29But there's something I want to do first.
01:11:32That sounds ominous.
01:11:34It just so happens that there's another full moon tonight.
01:11:39Leona Sherwood, are you asking me to hand fast marry you?
01:11:45Yeah.
01:11:47I think I am, Eric Svensson.
01:11:50Well, we better hurry.
01:11:51We're going to take the wand of light home and make it back in time to the hunk-a-hunk
01:11:55-a wedding chapel of love.
01:11:57I wonder if they have the same Elvis.
01:11:59I sure hope so.
01:12:01But if we're going to get hand fast married again, no more secrets this time.
01:12:06So, is there anything you want to come clean about now, soon-to-be-again husband?
01:12:13There is one thing.
01:12:16You might want to buckle up.
01:12:18We're about to go super speed.
01:12:21Bessie could have been going super speed this entire time.
01:12:24You didn't tell me to make our trip last longer, didn't you?
01:12:27You know me so well, soon-to-be-again wife.
01:12:33Leona Sherwood.
01:12:35Will you marry me?
01:12:36And not because of some spell or because it's your duty.
01:12:41But because you want to.
01:12:46Yes, I will.
01:12:57Ready?
01:12:58Oh, yeah.
01:13:05Oh, yeah.
01:13:07Oh, yeah.
01:13:09Oh, yeah.
01:13:10Oh, yeah.
01:13:10Oh, yeah.
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