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Short filmTranscript
00:00:01.
00:00:25Jesus, Mom, can you at least warn me
00:00:28when you're gonna do that? Please?
00:00:31Oh, please. Don't be such a child.
00:00:34Do you still have the Wand of Light?
00:00:45See? The all-powerful magic heirloom.
00:00:48Still safe and sound.
00:00:50Well, you should be more careful.
00:00:51The Wand of Light has the power
00:00:53to grant its user their deepest desires.
00:00:56Yeah.
00:00:56And if it falls into the wrong hands,
00:00:59it would become the most dangerous weapon in the world.
00:01:03But a marriage to another noble witch family
00:01:06would only strengthen your power.
00:01:08Yeah.
00:01:09Unless it's an evil Svensson, right?
00:01:12The Svensons are our worst enemies, Leona.
00:01:15Do you know how much our family has suffered
00:01:18over the centuries because of them?
00:01:20I know.
00:01:22Sorry.
00:01:23You are the guardian of the Wand of Light, Leona.
00:01:27And you can't reach your full potential
00:01:29until you marry and succeed me as head of the family.
00:01:33Come home with a husband next week,
00:01:35or I will pick one for you.
00:01:37What?
00:01:38Mom, no, please don't.
00:01:40Leona Sherwood, you are getting married
00:01:42whether you like the boy I pick or not.
00:01:45Mom, please.
00:01:45Understand?
00:01:49Don't worry, Mom.
00:01:51I'm the responsible daughter.
00:01:53Remember?
00:02:01Okay, Leona Sherwood.
00:02:03This is your last weekend of freedom.
00:02:09For two more nights.
00:02:11Fuck my responsibility.
00:02:14I'm gonna have some fun.
00:02:29That would be $25.
00:02:32I think you mean it's on the house.
00:02:34Right?
00:02:36Right.
00:02:37It's on the house.
00:02:56There you are, little Miss Sherwood.
00:03:06Where the hell are you?
00:03:07I'm in Vegas like I said it would be, old man.
00:03:09Hey, don't you get smart with me, you little shit.
00:03:13Remember your mission.
00:03:15Seduce the Sherwood heir and marry her,
00:03:17and then that whole obnoxious family
00:03:19will be there to pay off our debts.
00:03:21You mean your debts.
00:03:22Quiet!
00:03:23It's bad enough that I have a sorry excuse for an heir.
00:03:26You are an embarrassment to the Spence in name.
00:03:29Now, if you don't marry the Sherwood girl like I told you,
00:03:33I am going to sell your little sister off to old Fitzgerald to be his fourth wife.
00:03:38Dad.
00:03:39Dad's secret is just a kid.
00:03:41When I want your opinion, I will ask for it.
00:03:44Until then, you shut up and do as I say.
00:03:47Do you understand?
00:03:49Yeah.
00:03:50I understand.
00:03:51Good!
00:03:52And you!
00:03:53Keep practicing!
00:03:55You sound god-awful!
00:03:58Heartless fucking bastard.
00:04:13It's two of us.
00:04:15You're saying you don't remember me.
00:04:18Who remembers shitmen in his dumb teens anyways?
00:04:20No way.
00:04:21Totally.
00:04:22I love that show.
00:04:23I watched it in one sitting at like 2am.
00:04:26This is one of my favorites.
00:04:27It definitely doesn't get the love that it deserves.
00:04:29But I think it's one of the best ones.
00:04:31Really?
00:04:33I never begged you for a sappy romance kind of guy.
00:04:38Looks can be deceiving.
00:04:44The wand of light.
00:04:46So it does exist.
00:04:48Maybe I'm just jaded.
00:04:50It's hard to believe that love like that actually exists in real life.
00:04:53Why not?
00:04:54We're witches.
00:04:56Monsters and magic exist in our world.
00:04:58Why can't true love?
00:05:01I am Lili, by the way.
00:05:04Lili Collins.
00:05:08Eric Phillips.
00:05:09Nice to meet you.
00:05:11Lili Collins.
00:05:12Damn.
00:05:13He's hot.
00:05:14And I'm in Vegas.
00:05:15I deserve a little fun.
00:05:17Wow.
00:05:17Eric Phillips.
00:05:19I'll be in the poker room tonight.
00:05:21Maybe I'll see you there.
00:05:23Maybe.
00:05:42Okay, Svenson.
00:05:44Don't fuck this up.
00:05:48Okay, Svenson.
00:05:58Eric motherfucking Svenson.
00:06:01Excuse me?
00:06:02You ghost me for three months after sleeping with me?
00:06:04And you think you can sit there and act like nothing happened?
00:06:07I think you've got me confused with someone else.
00:06:09Don't gaslight me, Svenson.
00:06:11I know exactly who you are.
00:06:27You know who she is?
00:06:29I think she's got me confused with someone else.
00:06:43Are you nervous?
00:06:45Not at all.
00:06:47You can always vote, you know.
00:06:49I'd hate to send you home empty-handed.
00:06:53Not a chance.
00:06:55I'm here to win.
00:06:57You sure?
00:06:59Seems like your focus is somewhere else.
00:07:01Oh.
00:07:03I am very focused.
00:07:07Are you guys done making gugu eyes at each other or what?
00:07:12You're full of shit, Phillips.
00:07:14I call.
00:07:15Yeah, there is no way that you have this.
00:07:18But don't worry.
00:07:20I'll let you go another round.
00:07:22Once I beat you.
00:07:23Actually, I think I'm about to hit the jackpot.
00:07:29Eric?
00:07:37Eric?
00:07:50I have wanted to do that since I saw you by the pool in your bikini.
00:07:53Eric, everyone can see.
00:07:57Do you want me to stop?
00:08:13What's he?
00:08:14Let him watch.
00:08:16Give him a shower.
00:08:20Oh.
00:08:22Oh.
00:08:25Oh.
00:08:26Oh.
00:08:26Oh.
00:08:27Oh.
00:08:28Oh.
00:08:30Please don't stop.
00:08:31Use your words.
00:08:33Tell me what you want.
00:08:35I want your tongue inside me.
00:08:37Please.
00:08:38That's a good girl.
00:08:41Oh.
00:08:43Oh.
00:08:45Oh.
00:08:47Oh.
00:08:48Oh.
00:08:49Wait.
00:08:50Wait, I think I'm gonna.
00:08:53Was that some kind of vision?
00:08:58No.
00:08:59That was from him.
00:09:08Lucky son of a bitch.
00:09:11Beginner Lux, let's see you do it again next hand.
00:09:14No can do.
00:09:16I have a date with a very pretty lady.
00:09:24Why do I have the feeling that you're not exactly as you present, Eric Phillips?
00:09:31It is Vegas.
00:09:33Isn't that part of the fun?
00:09:46You know, it wasn't very nice of you to tease me with your strap of your dress during our game.
00:09:54It's very distracting.
00:09:57Well, you know, it wasn't very nice of you to send me that little vision during our game.
00:10:02I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview.
00:10:14Eric, there are people.
00:10:16And if you're quiet, they won't see you.
00:10:21I should stop.
00:10:23This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go.
00:10:25You know, you were right before.
00:10:26I'm not who I say I am.
00:10:29And who out there is exactly as they present?
00:10:32But I am...
00:10:33Look, I don't care who you are outside of this.
00:10:36For once in my life, I...
00:10:39I just want to forget about everything.
00:10:42Just live in the moment.
00:10:44And I think you...
00:10:47can help me do that.
00:10:55Remove the camouflage.
00:10:57I want you to see you.
00:11:00The real you.
00:11:02But then you'll know who I am.
00:11:05I already know who you are.
00:11:07The real you...
00:11:08wants to let go.
00:11:15No one's ever looked at me like that.
00:11:17He really wants me.
00:11:20The real me.
00:11:21Fuck.
00:11:23You are gorgeous.
00:11:27I want you, Eric.
00:11:30I need you.
00:11:35Spread your legs for me.
00:11:41Keep your eyes open.
00:11:44I want you to watch yourself come.
00:11:47All over my fingers.
00:11:53Keep your eyes open.
00:12:00I thought you said that they couldn't hear me.
00:12:02They can if you stay quiet.
00:12:04Keep your eyes open.
00:12:06Or I'll stop.
00:12:11That's a good girl.
00:12:13Look down at my hand.
00:12:18Oh my god.
00:12:20They hurt me.
00:12:21I can't.
00:12:22Just relax.
00:12:25I can't, Eric.
00:12:28It's okay.
00:12:29Don't think.
00:12:31Just kill.
00:12:33Tell me anything.
00:12:35I can't.
00:12:36I can't.
00:12:38I can't.
00:12:38I can't.
00:12:38I can't.
00:12:39I can't.
00:12:41I can't.
00:12:43It's so good.
00:12:44I can't wait to put my mouth on you.
00:12:49It's okay.
00:12:49I'm going to make you come.
00:12:51I'll beat you there.
00:12:53I'm going to go down.
00:12:55I want you to scream my name.
00:12:57Let it come.
00:12:57Five.
00:13:00Four.
00:13:01Four.
00:13:03Two.
00:13:07Four.
00:13:09Four.
00:13:10Four.
00:13:11Four.
00:13:11Four.
00:13:12Four.
00:13:12Four.
00:13:12Four.
00:13:12Four.
00:13:13Four.
00:13:14Four.
00:13:15Four.
00:13:16Four.
00:13:17Four.
00:13:18Four.
00:13:19Four.
00:13:19Four.
00:13:19Four.
00:13:21Four.
00:13:21Four.
00:13:28I can't believe I just came on his hand
00:13:31in front of other people
00:13:33I think this is your floor
00:13:41I'll be at the fountain tomorrow
00:13:43at 8 o'clock
00:13:45if you decide that you want more
00:13:47see you there
00:13:58how did he know what floor I was on
00:14:06so you've told me all about your wild sister
00:14:08and the things that she's done
00:14:11what about you
00:14:15I'm the responsible sister
00:14:17the boring one
00:14:18if you will
00:14:20and I do what I'm supposed to do
00:14:22all the rules and all that good stuff
00:14:25I don't believe you
00:14:26I mean
00:14:28I know how you are in an elevator
00:14:29oh come on
00:14:33come on
00:14:34it's Vegas
00:14:35let me be your bad influence
00:14:37just for tonight
00:14:40so
00:14:42any bad ideas
00:14:47just one
00:14:54what are you doing
00:15:12no games
00:15:13just fuck me already
00:15:14I thought I would try to woo you first
00:15:16consider me wooed
00:15:17then we could take it slow
00:15:19oh your lips say one thing
00:15:21but your body says something else
00:15:35wait
00:15:37shit
00:15:39I almost lost my cool
00:15:40I gotta remember the plan
00:15:44oh my god
00:15:46I can't believe I just did that
00:15:47that was so embarrassing
00:15:48this is why I don't do crazy shit
00:15:50that was way too much
00:15:51hey
00:15:52you're never too much
00:15:53you don't understand
00:15:55Eric
00:15:55okay if my family saw me do any of that
00:15:58they would freak out
00:15:59tonight's not about your family
00:16:01tonight's about you
00:16:02remember
00:16:03forget what everyone else has told you to do
00:16:06do something that you want to do
00:16:08something no one would expect
00:16:10maybe he's right
00:16:12I've spent my whole life doing what my family's told me to do
00:16:18for once in my life
00:16:20I'm doing something for myself
00:16:22she spotted the chapel
00:16:25just like I planned
00:16:29so are you uh
00:16:30you sure about this marriage thing
00:16:32it's only temporary
00:16:33okay and old magic is weak
00:16:35the hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning
00:16:39so
00:16:40are you ready for a holy matrimony
00:16:42I'm ready if you're ready
00:16:45come on
00:16:49let's go
00:16:55you nervous
00:16:57just
00:16:58never been married before
00:17:06um
00:17:07it's my sister I need to take this
00:17:09oh yeah take your time
00:17:11Elvis here wants me to pick out a hand fast bouquet
00:17:13hey mama
00:17:14let's get some flowers for you
00:17:15come on
00:17:15let's do it
00:17:17you need to come home
00:17:18now
00:17:19I can't secret
00:17:21Eric
00:17:21dad's up to something
00:17:22he invited Fitzgerald to the house
00:17:24and made me dress up
00:17:26he looks at me weird
00:17:27it really freaks me out
00:17:28you were my big brother E
00:17:30I need you
00:17:31here
00:17:31listen I can't leave right now
00:17:33but I promise
00:17:35when I come home
00:17:35I'll have enough power to get rid of dad forever
00:17:37okay
00:17:41hey
00:17:43is everything okay
00:17:45yeah
00:17:48yeah it's fine
00:17:51you uh
00:17:52you sure about this
00:17:54it's only temporary
00:17:56come on
00:17:57we'll be laughing about this for years
00:18:02let's go
00:18:18right
00:18:18only temporary
00:18:20unless you get hand fasted under a full moon
00:18:22then the hand fast bond is
00:18:24nearly unbreakable
00:18:26but she doesn't know that
00:18:27and once she does
00:18:29she'll hate me
00:18:31is your sister okay
00:18:33is something wrong
00:18:36nothing's wrong
00:18:37we're about to get buried in Vegas by Ovis
00:18:40what could possibly be wrong
00:18:43alright you ready to rock and roll
00:18:44you hunk-a-hunk-a-hot couple
00:18:47let's get this show started
00:18:49woo
00:19:01this is it
00:19:04this is it
00:19:18I have the wand of light
00:19:20the most powerful object in the world
00:19:23if I leave now
00:19:24I could use it to take control away from my father
00:19:27set secret and I free
00:19:35but I already betrayed her once
00:20:00i want to go for a100 se
00:20:06I said
00:20:19I'll have to get more chocolate strawberries.
00:20:22Be back soon.
00:20:32It's only temporary.
00:20:34Okay, and old magic is weak.
00:20:35The hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning.
00:20:38Hmm, that's weird.
00:20:41The mark should have worn off by now.
00:20:51So, did you marry the girl yet?
00:20:57No, it's...
00:20:59complicated.
00:21:00Complicated?
00:21:02Or distracted?
00:21:03You were sent there to marry the Sherwood heir and bind her power to this family, not to play house.
00:21:10You're a Svensson.
00:21:11Act like one.
00:21:12Eric is a Svensson?
00:21:16I married my family's worst enemy?
00:21:18I don't need you to tell me what I am.
00:21:21Then stop hesitating.
00:21:23If the rumors about the wand of light are true, we might catch an even bigger prize.
00:21:28So hurry up and marry the Sherwood girl and then bring her to me, idiot.
00:21:42He's been lying this whole time.
00:21:49I need to tell her the truth.
00:21:53You lying piece of troll shit!
00:21:56You didn't want me.
00:21:57You just wanted the fucking wand, didn't you?
00:22:01I didn't even know the wand existed until I met you.
00:22:03You still lied to me, Eric.
00:22:05You knew I was a Sherwood from the start.
00:22:07That's why you gave me a fake fucking name, right?
00:22:09Okay, I did, but that was before we...
00:22:11Before you decided to mess with me?
00:22:13Get your dick wet before you ruin me and my family forever?
00:22:17I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:22:18I'm trying to save mine.
00:22:19Oh, I know all about you, Svensons.
00:22:22All you do is lie and cheat and steal to get whatever you fucking want.
00:22:27I should have caught it at the poker table, but your little tricks won't work on me this time.
00:22:33The hand fast, Mark, it'll fade.
00:22:35Just like you, just like whatever this was.
00:22:38The hand fast wasn't a trick.
00:22:40Not that part.
00:22:41Not with you.
00:22:42It doesn't matter, Eric.
00:22:45You will never, ever get the wand.
00:22:49Lily, what?
00:22:51When this fades, Eric, I will never have to see you again.
00:23:08So, that didn't happen.
00:23:12My older sister, Effie, told me that the mark would fade a week later.
00:23:17Then a month went by.
00:23:21Then, well...
00:23:25See, this is where you don't fuck with old magic.
00:23:28It's all fun and games, so there's a full moon.
00:23:30Then it's the most powerful magic in the universe.
00:23:37Apparently, getting a hand fast married under a full moon creates a bond that's almost unbreakable.
00:23:44Also, apparently, the almost part means that both people have to perform the divorce spell.
00:23:52I tried calling, texting, sending flying monkeys, nothing, not a single word from my beloved husband for half a year.
00:24:12Yes, I still sleep with a wand under my pillow.
00:24:16So, the emotional ass whooping I got from my mother for getting hand fasted to a stranger was bad enough.
00:24:21No one can ever find out that I almost lost the wand, too.
00:24:26I just need one night to sleep without thinking about him.
00:24:54Who are you?
00:24:56What do you want with the wand of light?
00:24:59Nothing.
00:24:59Nothing. I'm just here to collect my payday from my client once I bring him that wand.
00:25:05Payday?
00:25:06Someone sent you!
00:25:07Who?
00:25:08I'm afraid I can't break client confidentiality.
00:25:10Sorry, sweetie.
00:25:13Well, I'm afraid that you chose the wrong witch to fuck with tonight.
00:25:23No!
00:25:26No!
00:25:26No!
00:25:27No!
00:25:29Be wise not to fight back, witch.
00:25:31You're in over your head.
00:25:34I'd rather die than let you take the wand!
00:25:39Suit yourself.
00:25:44Suit yourself.
00:25:46Ah!
00:25:47Ah!
00:25:48Ah!
00:25:49Ah!
00:25:50Ah!
00:25:51Ah!
00:25:52Ah!
00:25:53Ah!
00:25:53Ah!
00:25:54Ah!
00:26:04Ah!
00:26:05Ah!
00:26:08Get off me!
00:26:09She had the wand!
00:26:11I got the wand.
00:26:12I'll get the rest later.
00:26:15Ah!
00:26:17Ah!
00:26:18Ah!
00:26:20Ah!
00:26:21You are the reason I lost the wand!
00:26:23Who are you?!
00:26:29The hand fast mark.
00:26:34Hello, wife.
00:26:35Miss me?
00:26:39What are you doing here?!
00:26:41You know, I thought I'd spice up our marriage, do a little role-playing, but it looks like you're more
00:26:46into bondage.
00:26:47I didn't know you were so kinky.
00:26:48Shut up!
00:26:53You should be thanking me. I did just save your home.
00:26:55Thanking you?!
00:26:56You're the reason my family's most powerful heirloom is gone!
00:26:59How did you even find me?!
00:27:02Wait a minute.
00:27:04You were trying to steal the wand too, weren't you?!
00:27:07Maybe.
00:27:09Oh, you slimy, tote-faced motherfucker!
00:27:13Okay, first you tricked me into marrying you, then you ghost me for six months,
00:27:17and now you come in here like a goddamn fucking cartoon burglar and try to take my wand!
00:27:23Look, I was just gonna borrow it!
00:27:25Yeah, for one of your dirty, no-good-spensing schemes?!
00:27:29I-I just... I need it. Okay? It's... it's the only way that we can be free.
00:27:36Look, my dad doesn't know about our marriage. Not yet. But he knows about the wand. If he gets a
00:27:41hold of it, he's gonna sell it to the highest bidder.
00:27:43Whoever controls the wand has the power to take over the world. Or... worse.
00:27:47No! Worse than tricking me into marrying you?!
00:27:50I told you that that wasn't a trick.
00:27:52It doesn't matter, Eric. She has the wand! That shadow thief or whatever! And that's your fault!
00:27:59I can get it back!
00:28:02Look, I know I don't deserve it. But just... give me one more chance.
00:28:06I can get the wand back, take care of what I need to take care of, and then I'll do
00:28:10the divorce spell.
00:28:12Please, Lili, just... give me one more chance. Please.
00:28:15I can't trust him. I shouldn't.
00:28:20But my gut tells me... this time... it might be different.
00:28:29No.
00:28:31No, we're both gonna go get it.
00:28:34It is my job as a Sherwood heir to set things right.
00:28:38So I don't let the wand fall into the wrong hands.
00:28:41And you really think after Vegas, I would let you go alone to find the most powerful magical object in
00:28:46the entire world?
00:28:48Uh, fair. Uh, whatever you want. Lili.
00:28:52God, I hate when you call me that.
00:28:54Alright, I'll call you wife.
00:28:57And you can call me whatever you want.
00:29:00Eric, husband, daddy...
00:29:02Shut up! Don't call me wife either. After we get this wand, we will do the divorce spell. Got it?
00:29:08You're breaking my heart. I mean, you're the better half of my soul.
00:29:13Yeah. You're not gonna sweet-talk your way into my pants again, Eric.
00:29:16We'll see.
00:29:22Now, the wand forbids a direct tracking spell, so we have to track its trail.
00:29:27That's a ten-mile radius. We'll never find the wand inside that circle.
00:29:31Well, with the tracking spell, I get a location, okay?
00:29:34It doesn't last long, though. We'll have like three or four days.
00:29:37Well, lucky for you, I already packed our bags.
00:29:42Consider it our official honeymoon.
00:29:48After this, we're done. You got it?
00:29:50Don't go back on your words, Venson. We will do the divorce spell.
00:29:54Cross my heart.
00:29:56Hope to die.
00:30:15You magicked a car here?
00:30:17This isn't just any car.
00:30:25This is Bessie.
00:30:27You really expect us to track down the most powerful, magical object in the world?
00:30:32In a car without a roof?
00:30:34I mean, if you're not comfortable,
00:30:40I could go by myself.
00:30:43If you trust me not to run away.
00:30:45Hmm.
00:30:46I wouldn't trust you with a half-eaten newt muffin.
00:30:49I was gonna throw in the trash.
00:30:53Then your chariot awaits.
00:30:55Wife.
00:31:15We've been driving all day, and she hasn't said a single word.
00:31:30You're Svensson.
00:31:32You don't play house with sheriffs.
00:31:34Wait, why are we turning?
00:31:35We don't have any time.
00:31:36We have to find the wand, Eric.
00:31:39That circle is getting further and further away.
00:31:42Plus, it's getting dark.
00:31:43We need to stay somewhere for the night.
00:31:44Why don't you just let me drive?
00:31:46Because you haven't slept either.
00:31:47Plus, no one can drive Bessie but me.
00:31:51What is with guys and cars?
00:31:53Jesus.
00:31:53No.
00:31:54I mean, literally, no one else can drive Bessie.
00:31:57My great-great-grandfather put a hex on all of our possessions.
00:32:00Anyone that's non-blood related can't touch it.
00:32:03The Svensons like to hoard their treasures.
00:32:06Your family has issues.
00:32:08Finally.
00:32:09Something we can agree on.
00:32:11Was this your plan all along?
00:32:13To make me feel bad for you because your family's evil,
00:32:15so I get all ooey gooey and forget about the divorce?
00:32:18Not everyone in my family is evil.
00:32:21Yeah.
00:32:22Okay.
00:32:35You cross this wall or do anything to piss me off more than you already have, then you do not
00:32:40even want to imagine the hex I'm going to put on you.
00:32:48I promise, no funny business.
00:32:52Pinky promise.
00:33:12Goodnight to you two.
00:33:28In Vegas, you said you had a sister, right?
00:33:34Yeah, Sigrid.
00:33:38She didn't ask to be a Sphinxen.
00:33:41She's different than us.
00:33:42Better.
00:33:45Not like you?
00:33:46No.
00:33:48Not like me.
00:33:50But you already know that.
00:34:13You don't have to.
00:34:36You don't have to.
00:34:43Good morning, wife.
00:34:46I told you not to call me.
00:35:04You were saying something?
00:35:07What?
00:35:10How did you know I was awake?
00:35:13The husband always knows.
00:35:21Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to shower.
00:35:27No peeking.
00:35:32Cross my heart.
00:35:34Hope to die.
00:35:43I need to get a grip.
00:35:45Some washboard abs and a cocky grin aren't enough to make me fall for him.
00:35:49I just need this one time to take the edge off.
00:36:02I remember he touched me like this in Vegas.
00:36:18Look, I'm so close.
00:36:25That's it, Lily.
00:36:27Be a good girl.
00:36:29And go for me.
00:36:37Are you ready?
00:36:57You said that you wouldn't look.
00:37:01I don't need to look to know what you were doing while thinking about me.
00:37:07God, you are so full of yourself.
00:37:09Do I know what I heard?
00:37:11Say another word and I'll turn you into a frog.
00:37:17Were you thinking about that time in Vegas where I ate you out in the shower?
00:37:23You came so hard you came so hard you almost crushed my skull between your thighs.
00:37:29I think about those times a lot.
00:37:32Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all.
00:37:35Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all.
00:38:00You won't go on for yet.
00:38:03It's on a need-to-know basis.
00:38:05Oh, don't you think I need to know?
00:38:08I am your wife, after all.
00:38:11Oh, now you remember you're my wife.
00:38:13Funny how you only remember that when it's convenient for you.
00:38:15I remember every time I think about how badly I fucked up in Vegas.
00:38:19So all I am is a mistake.
00:38:20If I remember right, you're the one that suggested that we get hand-fast married.
00:38:24Obviously, that was before I knew about all your bullshit and lies.
00:38:29Duty and responsibility might not be a big deal in your family, but in mine, it's huge.
00:38:34See? There you go again.
00:38:36Always worried about what your family wants.
00:38:38It's never about what you want.
00:38:39I follow the rules because I have to, Eric.
00:38:43If I don't, I end up in situations like this.
00:38:45Did you ever stop to think that maybe that's unfair?
00:38:48That maybe your ideas and their ideas are bullshit?
00:38:52You ever think of that?
00:38:54Spoken like a true Spinson.
00:38:56Well, you're a Spinson too, sweetheart.
00:38:58Not much longer, I can tell you that.
00:39:19I want to get some coffee.
00:39:21It's getting dark.
00:39:22You really think you should be alone?
00:39:23So now that we're married, you think you have to babysit me too?
00:39:30Fine. Just don't take too long.
00:39:35You got her in the car or what?
00:39:38Who?
00:39:38Don't play dumb with me, boy.
00:39:41The little Sherwood witch you married forgot to tell me about.
00:39:46You thought I wouldn't find out, huh?
00:39:49You did a good job of hiding it.
00:39:50I'll give you that.
00:39:51Maybe you are my son after all, huh?
00:39:54What's the end game here?
00:39:56You said you just needed to get the Sherwood's wand so you could pay off your debts.
00:39:59What does she have to do with it?
00:40:00Because I'm not an idiot like you.
00:40:03I'll finally have all the leverage I need over the Sherwood family.
00:40:07When I tell them their pretty little heir is my new daughter-in-law.
00:40:11And then it'll be our family that gets to call the shots in the magic world.
00:40:16So you just want to use her?
00:40:18Like you use mom?
00:40:19Like you're using your own daughter.
00:40:21This is not a request, boy.
00:40:24Bring the girl and the wand to me or you will be stripped of your name.
00:40:28Your magic, everything.
00:40:30And your sister, she'll be the one paying the price for your mistakes.
00:40:44This isn't right.
00:40:45The trail should still be here.
00:40:48Would you like some coffee, Miss Sherwood?
00:40:50Yeah, thank you.
00:40:52Wait, how did you know my...
00:40:54You.
00:40:58But the map said that...
00:41:00That's cute.
00:41:01Dude, you think that dusty old map could track me?
00:41:09That wand is mine.
00:41:14Not anymore, it's not.
00:41:16And sadly, my employers need your powers, too.
00:41:19Employer?
00:41:22Hold still.
00:41:23This will only hurt a bit.
00:41:25No, stop.
00:41:26Stop!
00:41:34Get away from her!
00:41:40Eric, the wand!
00:41:53My magic.
00:41:55She took half of my magic, Eric!
00:41:57You're okay.
00:41:58I got you.
00:42:00You're okay.
00:42:01You're okay.
00:42:03I don't understand.
00:42:05The map said that the wand was miles away.
00:42:08What did she want with my powers?
00:42:10The thief must have found some way to bypass the tracking spell.
00:42:13She can't have gone far.
00:42:14We'll find her.
00:42:15Lay low for now.
00:42:16Eric, stop the car.
00:42:17I can't breathe.
00:42:20Okay.
00:42:29Hey, hey, hey.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:32You're okay.
00:42:33You're okay.
00:42:33Just breathe.
00:42:34I got you.
00:42:36You're safe.
00:42:38I thought she was gonna kill me, Eric.
00:42:41I'm not gonna let that happen.
00:42:43Not while I'm breathing.
00:42:49I'm not gonna let that happen.
00:42:50I'm not gonna let that happen.
00:42:57I still hate you.
00:43:01If you hated me, you wouldn't let me touch you like this.
00:43:05This doesn't change anything.
00:43:08It's only scratching an itch.
00:43:10Once we get the wand, and we do the divorce spell,
00:43:14and we forget each other existed.
00:43:21Is that what you want, Lily?
00:43:23You want to forget how good I make you feel?
00:43:26You want to forget I'm the only person in the whole fucking world
00:43:30who can make you feel this way?
00:43:36Eric.
00:43:39Wait, wait, wait.
00:43:40Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:43:47We can't do this.
00:43:51This is what goes wrong between us.
00:43:52We can't make that mistake again.
00:43:54We have a job to do, Eric.
00:43:56Let's get the wand.
00:43:58That's it.
00:43:59And then what?
00:44:01You know what happens after, Eric.
00:44:04We do the divorce spell.
00:44:06And we never see each other again.
00:44:29We don't have to do it.
00:44:39It smells like fresh baked pastries, cinnamon, old magic.
00:44:48I should have known.
00:44:50It's a satyr's inn.
00:44:53That smell.
00:44:55A nomenin habitus smell.
00:44:57It's woven into places like this for couples.
00:45:02You mean orgies?
00:45:05Satyrs are the horniest bastards in the known world.
00:45:08It lowers any fear, doubt, shame.
00:45:13Grants of your deepest desires.
00:45:16Without any fear of judgment or consequences.
00:45:28You don't.
00:45:31I'm trying not to.
00:45:50The spell doesn't create desire.
00:45:54It lets go of the lies.
00:45:57It tells us what we really want.
00:45:59What I want doesn't matter.
00:46:02It matters in here.
00:46:05Tell me what you really want.
00:46:07You can say goodbye.
00:46:09And go our separate ways.
00:46:11Or you can tell me you want this.
00:46:14You want me.
00:46:18Tell me to stay.
00:46:22Stay here.
00:46:24Please.
00:46:25God, what is this?
00:46:27Is this just the magic?
00:46:29No.
00:46:32It's not the spell.
00:46:34It's freedom.
00:46:35No.
00:46:37No.
00:46:38Anything in the outside world doesn't matter.
00:46:40Just you.
00:46:41And me.
00:46:44I shouldn't want this.
00:46:46I know.
00:46:49I shouldn't be doing this.
00:46:53Or this.
00:46:55To be able to share with you.
00:46:58To the most respected family of the whole rich world.
00:47:02You definitely shouldn't sound this fucking sexy.
00:47:04To mind.
00:47:07You're going to hear.
00:47:09To the Sherwood family.
00:47:12Who are you?
00:47:14I want you, Eric.
00:47:16I need you.
00:47:20Tell me who you are.
00:47:24Lily.
00:47:25Close.
00:47:29But not quite.
00:47:32Tonight.
00:47:34I'm not.
00:47:34Tell me who you are.
00:47:36Your wife.
00:48:01This doesn't change anything.
00:48:03I know.
00:48:05We can have tonight.
00:48:06And then tomorrow we go back to who we are on the outside.
00:48:10Sure.
00:48:11I'll go back to being my bad self.
00:48:13And you can go back to pretending to be a good little witch.
00:48:17Excuse me.
00:48:18Don't deny.
00:48:19Lily, Sherwood, Sven said.
00:48:21I know what kind of dork naughty thoughts you have.
00:48:26I don't.
00:48:28It's okay to be bad.
00:48:31You don't have to pretend.
00:48:35I don't, huh?
00:48:39You know just because I have half my magic doesn't mean I can't play with you for tonight.
00:48:44In the apartment.
00:48:45So, like what ever a criminal.
00:48:47Oh my God?
00:48:51Like what ever a criminal.
00:48:54Like what ever a criminal.
00:49:13What? To you.
00:49:19I don't remember packing that lingerie.
00:49:21Close your eyes.
00:49:25Eric, you're so good for being such a bad boy.
00:49:32I'm being properly motivated not to move.
00:49:38See how long it takes you to break.
00:49:41For you, I could stay here forever.
00:49:43Pretty to think so.
00:49:45Why don't we test that little theory, huh?
00:49:49We're playing a dangerous game.
00:49:52All you have to do is admit that I win.
00:49:57I'll let you fuck me.
00:49:59I'll even let you come wherever you want.
00:50:06You can come here or here.
00:50:12I'll even let you come in here.
00:50:18God.
00:50:19Come on.
00:50:21I know you wanna.
00:50:23Just admit that I'm right.
00:50:27Fine.
00:50:29You win.
00:50:30Oh, what was that?
00:50:32You hurt me.
00:50:34Oh.
00:50:43So what's my prize?
00:50:48I could torture you like you did me.
00:50:53But I wanna be inside you.
00:50:55I wanna feel you squeeze me tight.
00:50:59And take me to bed, husband.
00:51:04Call me that again.
00:51:08You want me to fuck you, husband?
00:51:10Yeah.
00:51:11Fuck me.
00:51:14Tell me a story.
00:51:24Like the ones you did in Vegas.
00:51:27I've got a story about my pet goat, Gilmore,
00:51:31and how he got stuck on a magic carpet.
00:51:34Or the story about how my sister tried to negotiate with a troll
00:51:39using only redimates.
00:51:40No.
00:51:43I already know about your family.
00:51:47I wanna know about you.
00:51:50What's it like to be a Svensson heir?
00:51:52You want the insider info.
00:51:55Mm.
00:51:55Mm.
00:51:56You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.
00:51:58You gonna tell me how wonderful it was
00:52:01growing up as a beloved and blessed Sherwood?
00:52:08Is that what you think being a show what is like?
00:52:12Is that what you think being a show what is like?
00:52:14All fun and rainbows?
00:52:16Yeah, everybody loves your family.
00:52:18That's not true, Eric.
00:52:20There are so many people who would love it if we just disappeared.
00:52:23My mother has been shouldering all that responsibility and pressure for decades.
00:52:28And next year, I will be the head witch in charge.
00:52:32Everyone's counting on me to do the right thing.
00:52:33Like eat your fruits and veggies?
00:52:36Like spending my whole childhood being told that the whole world depended on me.
00:52:41Like never bothering to have any hopes or dreams because my whole life was planned for me from the very
00:52:48start before I was even born.
00:52:50I'm always doing the right thing for the family.
00:52:52I was never allowed to even think of doing the wrong thing.
00:52:56I couldn't be tired.
00:52:58I couldn't be scared.
00:52:59I couldn't be angry.
00:53:00One mistake and my family loses everything that they've ever worked for.
00:53:05If this whole world fades to black, it's because I messed up.
00:53:08It's because I didn't do a good job.
00:53:13I don't think I've ever said that out loud before.
00:53:16I'm glad you did.
00:53:19I don't think I've ever said that out loud before.
00:53:20Your turn.
00:53:22Growing up with Svinsen was a little different.
00:53:26The old man likes to say I was the first of his disappointments.
00:53:31I guess it's good.
00:53:33At least I was first in something.
00:53:36I didn't care about disappointing him.
00:53:38I just wanted to get away from him.
00:53:41I had it all planned out.
00:53:42When I turned 16, I'd leave, change my name,
00:53:46and the Svinsen bloodline would die with me.
00:53:48My mom died when Secret was born.
00:53:53My dad used to tear against me every day since.
00:54:03I'm so sorry, Eric.
00:54:05I shouldn't have asked.
00:54:09It's okay.
00:54:11Svinsens have always lived in the Sherwood shadows.
00:54:14We are the shadows.
00:54:19all you do is shine
00:54:30you always ask me what i want
00:54:34what do you want eric
00:54:39you'd hate me if i told you
00:54:41i mean more than you already do
00:54:46i don't hate you
00:54:49i never did
00:55:25eric something's wrong dad's got visitors a bunch of old guys i don't know who they are
00:55:31he made me play piano for them like some kind of dress up doll
00:55:34it's like freaking me out
00:55:42eric are you safe
00:55:49eric are you safe
00:55:50now all those weird old men lived last night
00:55:55and and i hexed my door so no one could get in
00:55:58don't let anyone in
00:55:59if dad tries to get you to play with any of those weird old men just
00:56:02i know
00:56:03i'll just do what he says
00:56:06i always do
00:56:08i'm so sick of this e
00:56:10what if he actually does make me marry one of those guys
00:56:12i'm never gonna let that happen alright
00:56:16look i'm close to getting the wand of light
00:56:19the wand of light
00:56:21like the one from the fairy tales
00:56:23you can't tell that secret
00:56:27when i get the wand
00:56:29be ready for my call
00:56:30i have a plan
00:56:31i barely know basic spells
00:56:35i don't know
00:56:35you can
00:56:37i know you can
00:56:39when the time is right you'll be ready
00:57:07filling up bessie
00:57:09meet me downstairs when you're ready
00:57:20oh my god
00:57:22why do you and mom always do that
00:57:24a bit high strung aren't you sis
00:57:27i was just in the middle of thinking
00:57:29yeah and going by your aura i can guess about who
00:57:33very much giving post-orgasmic afterglow
00:57:36oh yeah well you and your little aura reading
00:57:38can go jump in a lake
00:57:40oh aren't we feisty this morning
00:57:42your super hot hubby isn't around i'm guessing
00:57:45or have you already murdered him after catching his dick
00:57:48i know all the best places to hide a body by the way
00:57:52i'm fine effie i know all about eric spenson
00:57:55i'm not stupid
00:57:57and when we get the wand back
00:57:59you mean if you get the wand back
00:58:01we will
00:58:02we will
00:58:03and when we do
00:58:04we'll do the divorce spell
00:58:06this mark will be gone
00:58:07i'll go home and
00:58:10marry the best person who serves our family alliance
00:58:16it's not fair you know i know i'm the last person who should be saying that because it's not like
00:58:21i could change it
00:58:23but it's not
00:58:26it's just the way it goes
00:58:27right
00:58:28there has to be a way for you to be with who you actually want and be a good heir
00:58:35effie what i want has nothing to do with anything in my life
00:58:39that's fine
00:58:40it's what it means to be a sure what
00:58:43just remember
00:58:44repeating it doesn't make it true
00:58:48all right
00:58:50whatever you say sis
00:58:51you know best
00:58:54i know
00:58:55give everyone a hug from me
00:58:57tell them i'll be back home soon
00:59:08last night was the last time
00:59:10after today we're done
00:59:13if i say that enough times
00:59:15maybe i'll finally believe it
00:59:26i'll tell you about my plan with the wand
00:59:30my family's magic is dying
00:59:32my father's been cashing in on broken promises for years
00:59:35but he holds most of the power
00:59:37and me and see we just get to scratch
00:59:39that's how he controls us
00:59:42if i could use the wand just once
00:59:45i can take his power away from the bread
00:59:48i'm not trying to ruin your family
00:59:49i'm trying to save mine
00:59:50it's the only way that we can be free
00:59:54that's what you meant by
00:59:56trying to save your family
00:59:58i was gonna tell you the night before
01:00:00i was gonna tell you the truth
01:00:02and then i was just gonna ask if i could use the wand
01:00:05just once
01:00:06and then i would do whatever you want
01:00:08get a divorce
01:00:10leave you alone
01:00:11forever
01:00:12why didn't you tell me
01:00:16why didn't you tell me that morning
01:00:17maybe things could have been different
01:00:21i would have asked you to stay
01:00:23it's a nice idea
01:00:26but our families have been at war since the beginning of time
01:00:30maybe if we were different people
01:00:33we have different lives
01:00:36this is what it works
01:00:38maybe we can
01:00:40maybe the wand has a spell for that eric
01:00:43a witch can hope
01:00:51what
01:00:53do i have mushrooms growing out of the side of my head
01:00:55why are you looking at me like that
01:01:09wait i'm driving
01:01:11who over
01:01:31you have got to be kidding me
01:01:38end of the line witches
01:01:41end of the line witches
01:01:56moans
01:01:57soi
01:01:59dad
01:02:01let's do this
01:02:03bruh
01:02:04bruh
01:02:07bruh
01:02:08bruh
01:02:08bruh
01:02:10bruhult
01:02:11bruh
01:02:14começ bruh
01:02:15bruh
01:02:15and bruh
01:02:21bruh
01:02:28Now's not a good time, old man.
01:02:30Well, it sounds like my insurance policy worked.
01:02:34You...
01:02:36You set the shadows with me?
01:02:37Of course I set her.
01:02:39Do you think I would trust you to finish the job?
01:02:53Demons are very expensive, you know?
01:02:57But I thought that the Sherwood girl's soul in exchange for the wand was a good enough bargain.
01:03:05Souls of magic users apparently taste better.
01:03:19You said you needed her alive.
01:03:21The Sherwoods will never pay off your debts if you kill their heir.
01:03:23I've reconsidered.
01:03:25Once I have that wand, I will be the most powerful witch alive.
01:03:30Debts won't matter.
01:03:32The stupid Sherwoods won't matter.
01:03:34And as for the girl, well...
01:03:35I don't need her breathing to use her power.
01:03:39I can always marry Sigridoth to form new alliances.
01:03:44Guess you won't be trapped in a marriage after all, son.
01:03:48You're welcome.
01:03:51Go to hell, old man.
01:04:03Take it!
01:04:06No!
01:04:08Your soul will be delicious!
01:04:17I can take Dad's magic and him finally be free.
01:04:26Get off my wife!
01:04:35You'll pay for that, witch!
01:04:48This isn't the last you'll see of me.
01:04:55Hey, I've got you.
01:04:57You didn't run.
01:04:59You're kidding?
01:05:00I'd be a pretty shitty husband if I let my wife's soul get sucked out by a demon.
01:05:07Eric!
01:05:08You can't get rid of me that easily.
01:05:10No, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:12Eric!
01:05:13Oh my...
01:05:15Eric, no, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:18Oh my God!
01:05:20I can't save you!
01:05:21I don't have my powers!
01:05:22Why didn't you run?
01:05:26You could have saved yourself!
01:05:28I've been saving myself.
01:05:31My whole life.
01:05:33I thought I'd try something new.
01:05:36You idiot, you stupid, stupid idiot.
01:05:40Yeah.
01:05:42But I'm your idiot.
01:05:50You took a divorce spell.
01:05:53I had a promise.
01:05:55Now you're free.
01:05:57You...
01:05:59I don't want to be free.
01:06:02I don't want to be free.
01:06:05I want to be with you.
01:06:07Just keep secrets safe.
01:06:09Safe from my father.
01:06:12Safe from all of it.
01:06:15You know, those days in Vegas...
01:06:20We're the best three days of my life.
01:06:22All right, let's get this show started, okay?
01:06:27I love you.
01:06:30I love you, too.
01:06:32I love you, I love you.
01:06:36Eric.
01:06:39No!
01:06:40No!
01:06:42I love you.
01:07:00The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
01:07:10Please, please, please, please.
01:07:20Eric.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:33Lily.
01:07:35I can't.
01:07:37You absolute moron.
01:07:42You absolute moron.
01:07:44Be gentle. I was dead for like ten seconds.
01:07:49You're alive.
01:07:51That is for divorcing me on your literal deathbed, you asshole.
01:07:56I thought I was doing something noble.
01:07:58Something cool.
01:07:59Did the wand give you your power back?
01:08:03My mom used to say that the wands user granted its deepest desire.
01:08:08I guess it knew what I really wanted.
01:08:11What did you want?
01:08:14You.
01:08:17Don't scare me like that again, okay?
01:08:20You know, I thought I heard something, but I was bleeding out.
01:08:29Maybe you could say it again?
01:08:35Maybe you could say it again?
01:08:39I love you.
01:08:40You're expensive.
01:08:43That's my girl.
01:08:50Let's go.
01:09:03You ready for one last stop?
01:09:07Yeah.
01:09:26Ah.
01:09:28There you are.
01:09:30I knew I could always trust a demon to get the job done.
01:09:35Now, where is my wand?
01:09:38Wait.
01:09:39You're supposed to be dead.
01:09:41Wow.
01:09:42You weren't kidding.
01:09:43He really is evil.
01:09:45I put a barrier around this whole house.
01:09:48It's impossible.
01:09:48There's no way you should be able to be in here.
01:09:50There's always a loophole, old man.
01:09:55Secret.
01:09:56You ungrateful brat.
01:09:58How dare you betray me like this?
01:10:00Really, Dad?
01:10:01Playing the family card after you almost sold me into child marriage?
01:10:05You ungrateful little pests.
01:10:15You're powerless now, old man.
01:10:17Magic's gone.
01:10:18Forever.
01:10:32Eric, Otis, Svensson, release me this instant.
01:10:36That is an order.
01:10:39You can handle it from here, right?
01:10:41His powers are gone.
01:10:42It doesn't scare me anymore.
01:10:46You ungrateful little brats.
01:10:47Both of you.
01:10:48You'll pay for this.
01:10:49You will both pay for this.
01:10:55Yeah, yeah.
01:10:56Talk soon, pups.
01:10:57We're gonna hit the road.
01:10:59I said get back here.
01:11:00I said get back here.
01:11:02Get back here.
01:11:03Please don't do this, you little b-
01:11:18Okay.
01:11:21So, where to now?
01:11:24Should we go and drop off the wand of life?
01:11:27Yeah.
01:11:29But there's something I wanna do first.
01:11:32That sounds ominous.
01:11:34Just so happens that there's another full moon tonight.
01:11:39Leona Sherwood, are you asking me to hand fast marry you?
01:11:45Yeah.
01:11:47I think I am, Eric Svensson.
01:11:50Well, we better hurry.
01:11:51If we're gonna take the wand of light home and make it back in time to the hunk-a-hunk
01:11:55-a wedding chapel of love.
01:11:57I wonder if they have the same Elvis.
01:11:59I sure hope so.
01:12:01But, if we're gonna get hand fast married again, no more secrets this time.
01:12:06So, is there anything you wanna come clean about now?
01:12:09Soon to be again, husband.
01:12:13There is one thing.
01:12:16You might wanna buckle up.
01:12:18We're about to go super speed.
01:12:21Bessie could have been going super speed this entire time.
01:12:24You didn't tell me to make our trip last longer, didn't you?
01:12:27You know me so well.
01:12:29Soon to be again, wife.
01:12:33Leona Sherwood.
01:12:35Will you marry me?
01:12:36And not because of some spell or because it's your duty.
01:12:41But because you want to.
01:12:46Yes, I will.
01:12:58Ready?
01:12:58Hell yeah.
01:13:06Welcome to the V-Man.
01:13:07Hello, everybody.
01:13:08Please, welcome.
01:13:08See you next time.
01:13:09Bye.
01:13:10Bye.
01:13:10Bye.
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