- 42 minutes ago
Andie The Great (2021) [Full Movie] [Trending]Full EP - Full
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00:00:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:00:57Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:01:29Transcribed by —
00:01:59Transcribed by —
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00:02:46I still can't figure out why you're here.
00:02:48Neil?
00:02:48Um, didn't you miss me?
00:02:50Not particularly.
00:02:51Liar.
00:02:52Was a liberal arts major too stressful for you?
00:02:55I made your favorite meal!
00:02:57It's very funny.
00:02:58We have got corndogs for days.
00:03:02Thanks, Mom.
00:03:06Hello, Father.
00:03:07There she is, my favorite child.
00:03:10Hey.
00:03:11Well, stop being such a little asshole.
00:03:14Mom, Dad called me an asshole.
00:03:16Dean, language?
00:03:17This is exactly what I'm talking about.
00:03:20How was rehearsal?
00:03:21Riveting.
00:03:23How was college?
00:03:24Ewitching.
00:03:25Karen, thank you so much for cooking.
00:03:29But why are we in corndog?
00:03:30Because they're Andy's favorite.
00:03:32When she was seven.
00:03:34You're great, Mom.
00:03:36Mom, how does it feel having a college drop-off as your firstborn?
00:03:39Neil, I am proud of my daughter no matter what.
00:03:43Even if she ends up homeless and unemployed.
00:03:47But now is as good a time as any to start talking about your plan.
00:03:50Do you want me to help you find one?
00:03:52No, um...
00:03:54I'm good.
00:03:54I have a job.
00:03:56That's great news.
00:03:57Where?
00:03:58Um, Abby's store.
00:03:59Way to aim for the stars.
00:04:01Neil, shut it.
00:04:01See, I told you not to worry.
00:04:04Mother always worries.
00:04:05We can't all be as loosey-goosey as you.
00:04:07Yeah, loosey-goose.
00:04:10Oh, who's this little beautiful creature?
00:04:14I found her at the bus stop this morning.
00:04:16Hi there, pretty lady.
00:04:18Your mom says we can't keep her.
00:04:21Oh, nonsense.
00:04:22We can't put such a beautiful creature out into the cold.
00:04:26I'm not with the theatrics being.
00:04:27It's a increase.
00:04:28What's her name?
00:04:29Naming her implies we're keeping her.
00:04:30I was thinking of Karen.
00:04:32I like it.
00:04:32Very funny.
00:04:33Hi, Karen.
00:04:34Nope.
00:04:35Nope.
00:04:35Then it's settled.
00:04:36Karen the cat.
00:04:39Baby.
00:04:40Hello, sweetie.
00:04:41Come to daddy.
00:04:44Oh, yes.
00:04:45Oh, look at that little tail.
00:04:50In our seats, go down here.
00:04:51Cool.
00:04:54I know it's not a super sophisticated system, but it's just been me for a long time.
00:04:58Um, are you kidding me?
00:04:59Abby, you own your own store.
00:05:01This is so great.
00:05:02I know.
00:05:03Pretty wild, right?
00:05:04Um, yes.
00:05:05Uh, things are kind of slow, but they've been picking up a little.
00:05:08You're killing it.
00:05:09Thanks, Andy.
00:05:12All right.
00:05:13Feeling good?
00:05:14Yeah, totally.
00:05:16All right.
00:05:17I think I'm going to head out.
00:05:20Ah, okay.
00:05:23And just a reminder, the alarm code is H213.
00:05:27Yes.
00:05:28Do you want to write that down?
00:05:30No, no, you've got it.
00:05:30You've got it.
00:05:31I've got it.
00:05:31Okay, okay.
00:05:32And don't forget to bring the sign in.
00:05:34Um, okay.
00:05:35All right.
00:05:35I won't.
00:05:36Yes.
00:05:36All right.
00:05:36Have fun.
00:05:37Bye.
00:05:37Bye.
00:05:39Love you.
00:05:40Love you, too.
00:05:42See you.
00:05:59Love you, too.
00:06:12Leave my doors unlocked.
00:06:14Baby, come and start the cold.
00:06:16And I don't even know what I'd do without you now.
00:06:22And I don't even know what I'd do without you now.
00:06:29Hold up.
00:06:30Tell me, be patient.
00:06:31So caught up in my heart.
00:06:32I'm a self-agent.
00:06:34I don't want to get out.
00:06:36Get out.
00:06:37And I don't want to get out.
00:06:39Get out.
00:06:41Seeing through me.
00:06:43Holding every single word.
00:06:47And you'll always know that I will be a bird.
00:06:51And I don't even know what I'd do without you now.
00:06:57And I don't even know what I'd do without you now.
00:07:07Hold up.
00:07:08Tell me, be patient.
00:07:09So caught up in my heart.
00:07:10I'm a self-agent.
00:07:12And I don't want to get out.
00:07:14Get out.
00:07:15And I don't want to get out.
00:07:17Get out.
00:07:33As I live and breathe.
00:07:36Andrea Offerman, is that you?
00:07:39I'll be damned.
00:07:40Penelope, I haven't seen you since before the war.
00:07:51Tell me everything.
00:08:02Yeah, I've been home for like 48 hours.
00:08:06But we'll see.
00:08:10Well, I super believe in you.
00:08:13What specifically did you hate about uni?
00:08:16Uh, kind of all of it.
00:08:18No.
00:08:19Like, it wasn't bad.
00:08:21It was just, everyone takes it so seriously.
00:08:24And I don't know if you remember this, but taking it seriously is not my forte.
00:08:27It's not your forte.
00:08:29That's right.
00:08:31I hate you.
00:08:32I told you so.
00:08:33Or anyway.
00:08:34But you totally should have just stayed here with me.
00:08:36Community college is where it's at.
00:08:38Dude.
00:08:39Absolutely no one takes it seriously.
00:08:41Yeah, not even your parents.
00:08:45Oh, shut up.
00:08:48Also, it's not like you learn less real fast.
00:08:54Oh, my God.
00:08:55Look who it is.
00:08:56Wow.
00:08:57Whoa.
00:08:58Hey.
00:08:58Andy, oh, my God.
00:09:00You're back.
00:09:00I'm back.
00:09:01Whoa, dude.
00:09:03I mean, like, yeah, no, I saw on your Instagram story or whatever, but it's really good to see you.
00:09:10You too, man.
00:09:14Oh, um, what are you doing right now?
00:09:15Do you want to grab dinner with us?
00:09:17Yeah, no, I'd love to.
00:09:19I'm not, um, really doing anything.
00:09:21Just, um, enjoying the view, so.
00:09:23I am actually gonna go home.
00:09:27Yeah, Boo wants to have dinner.
00:09:30Whipped.
00:09:32Oh, dear bitch.
00:09:33Yeah, I will.
00:09:34Yeah, but, um, no, yeah, that sounds great.
00:09:38Um, full disclosure?
00:09:40Uh, I'm pretty high right now, so.
00:09:43Yeah, we know.
00:09:44Okay.
00:09:45Cool.
00:09:50So, how are we talking here?
00:09:53Three.
00:09:54Oh.
00:09:56It's not that bad.
00:09:57Out of three.
00:09:59Oh.
00:10:00Great.
00:10:01Hey, guys, how's it going?
00:10:02Uh, yeah, good.
00:10:04How are you?
00:10:04A bit of a slow night, but no complaints.
00:10:07Cool, cool, cool.
00:10:09Can I start you off with something to drink?
00:10:11Uh, yeah.
00:10:13We're not engines, so.
00:10:17As in, we don't need fuel, so.
00:10:19Yeah, I got it.
00:10:20Um, can we just get two IPAs, please?
00:10:23Sounds good.
00:10:23You guys got your IDs?
00:10:25Oh, what did you like to know, little girl?
00:10:29Yep.
00:10:31It's cool.
00:10:32I remember you guys.
00:10:33Okay, thanks.
00:10:35Wow.
00:10:36Stone Hans is as fun as I remember.
00:10:39Yeah, I need some food to bring me back down.
00:10:42Yeah, you do.
00:10:44Isn't that nice?
00:10:46Yeah.
00:10:48Yeah.
00:11:12High school wasn't the worst.
00:11:13It really wasn't.
00:11:15I mean, it beat the shit out of community college anyways.
00:11:19And he was saying it's not that bad.
00:11:22It's fine.
00:11:23It's just a little bland, I guess.
00:11:26I mean, the destitute nature of it is fine, but the shelliness of some of the people is
00:11:32just the worst.
00:11:33You know, people pretending they're in Berkeley or some fancy shit.
00:11:41That made the place shit.
00:11:42These bitches are everywhere.
00:11:44I guess.
00:11:46I was just hoping we could all, you know, get on with our lives and learn something so
00:11:50we could climb out of the shithole.
00:11:52The shithole is not the worst place to be.
00:11:55I guess.
00:11:57I'm assuming you didn't plunk out?
00:11:59No.
00:12:01Figured.
00:12:02You're too smart.
00:12:04Did you just lose interest?
00:12:07I never really had it, to be honest.
00:12:09Right.
00:12:10Some good parties, at least?
00:12:13Yeah.
00:12:14Yeah, there were a few of those.
00:12:15I just, I don't know.
00:12:16Even then, it was like people were trying to be something out of, like, an American Pie
00:12:21movie or something.
00:12:22It's like, okay, it's like people were playing the part of college students.
00:12:27Does that make sense?
00:12:28Yeah, I mean, that doesn't sound that bad, honestly.
00:12:31Well, sure, but give me a six or a beer and a joint with my old pal Hans over that
00:12:36any day.
00:12:40Thanks.
00:12:43All done with these?
00:12:45Yes, please.
00:12:48You okay?
00:12:49Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:12:51I mean, yes, I am.
00:12:54I needed that.
00:12:57You sure did.
00:12:58Can we just go out the bill?
00:13:00I got it right here for you.
00:13:00Oh, so, I do what I can.
00:13:04I got this.
00:13:05It's a welcome home gift.
00:13:08Aw, thanks, dude.
00:13:10Of course.
00:13:11Meals on Meals is going well.
00:13:13Yeah?
00:13:13Rich guy?
00:13:14Yeah.
00:13:15It pays okay.
00:13:16I mean, they really can't tell the difference between bills, so they always end up tipping
00:13:20me way too much.
00:13:22You don't tell them?
00:13:23That's some dark shit, dude.
00:13:25No.
00:13:25No, of course I do.
00:13:27But then they think it's cute that I'm being honest and they let me keep it.
00:13:31I bet they do.
00:13:32No doubt, they love having a gay delivery guy.
00:13:36Being the only gay in the village who has its upsides.
00:13:39Pinball?
00:13:41Um, heck yeah.
00:13:42It's like the only sport I'm good at.
00:13:44I want that and ribbage.
00:13:47Ribbage?
00:13:47Uh-huh.
00:13:48Yeah, a lot of the people I deliver to are elderly white women, so we play.
00:13:53Cool.
00:13:53Mm-hmm.
00:13:54Also, neither of those are sports.
00:13:56Just let me have this, okay?
00:13:59Ribs on Star Trek.
00:14:00You can have it.
00:14:02Yeah, some of us have grown up since you left.
00:14:05Matured to X-Men.
00:14:06Oh, X-Men?
00:14:08Uh-huh.
00:14:10Okay.
00:14:11Okay.
00:14:12Star Trek.
00:14:13Uh-huh.
00:14:23Abby's store not cutting it for you?
00:14:26Abby's store isn't really cutting it for anyone.
00:14:28Oh, shit.
00:14:29Is she closing down?
00:14:30No, no, no.
00:14:30She just, she can't really afford an employee right now.
00:14:34Look what I found.
00:14:36Look at these photos.
00:14:38Andy, you are so gosh darn cute.
00:14:41Yikes.
00:14:42Here's you.
00:14:43Isn't she precious?
00:14:44You look like you're autistic.
00:14:46She's such a dick.
00:14:47It's not funny, Dean.
00:14:48I don't think it's funny either.
00:14:49She looks just like me.
00:14:51Oh, no, that must mean I have Asperger's.
00:14:55You do have Asperger's.
00:14:57Are you looking for a new job already?
00:15:00Okay, this one's not my fault.
00:15:02Abby can't afford me.
00:15:05Jesus, look at this one.
00:15:10You know I wasn't your mother's first choice, right?
00:15:12I can't imagine.
00:15:13It's not true.
00:15:14Oh, please.
00:15:15I just knocked you up at the right time.
00:15:17Look how handsome you are.
00:15:19You see?
00:15:19She can't even deny it.
00:15:21Really, Andy?
00:15:22Drinking already?
00:15:25Can you grab me one, too?
00:15:26I'm unemployed, Mom.
00:15:28Can you just let me have one day of day drinking, please?
00:15:38Thanks.
00:15:39Come work for me.
00:15:42Um, yeah, I could.
00:15:45I think you're forgetting that I'm not a licensed therapist.
00:15:48No, not as a therapist.
00:15:50As a receptionist.
00:15:51Ever since Alice went back to school, it's been hard for me to keep up with her.
00:15:55Ah, look how dumb Neil looks.
00:15:57Dean, would you stop insulting everyone?
00:15:59And stop making fun of your kids?
00:16:01I'm still not sure they're mine.
00:16:03It's not funny.
00:16:04I think it's funny.
00:16:05You'd just be answering phones, taking payments, and managing my calendars.
00:16:09Anything else, Your Majesty?
00:16:10Well, I could always hire someone else and start charging you rent.
00:16:14I'll take it.
00:16:15I thought so.
00:16:16Ah, look at your stupid face!
00:16:22Yeah, and then I told him, you know what?
00:16:24I was just born this way.
00:16:28Wow, what a story.
00:16:29Okay, babe, well, Abby, um, Penny tells me, uh, your boyfriend's in a band.
00:16:36Formerly, yes.
00:16:37Oh, did, did they break up?
00:16:38Oh, no, we broke up.
00:16:40Oh, my God, dude!
00:16:41Let me do it!
00:16:43It's cool.
00:16:44It ran its course.
00:16:45It ran its course.
00:16:45So, are you looking to find comfort in another man's arms?
00:16:49My room's upstairs.
00:16:50Neil, stop being gross.
00:16:52It's nice.
00:16:54It's great.
00:16:55Uh, so, how did you two meet?
00:16:58Oh, well, I mean...
00:17:01Oh, my God.
00:17:03Look at you go!
00:17:05You know, this, this is what I miss the most.
00:17:08I fucking love dinner parties.
00:17:10I love your dinner parties.
00:17:12Well, um, to answer your question,
00:17:17Here we go.
00:17:18I was in the club,
00:17:21dancing with some friends,
00:17:23and, uh, he comes up behind me,
00:17:27grabs my ass.
00:17:28Oh.
00:17:28It's right now.
00:17:29Asks if I'm DTF.
00:17:31You all know what that means.
00:17:32And then, we've been together ever since.
00:17:35Hmm.
00:17:36Yeah, no, uh, you really need to stop telling people that.
00:17:39Oh.
00:17:40First impressions.
00:17:42Um, no, I'm a TA at VCC.
00:17:45Yeah.
00:17:46Your parents must be so proud.
00:17:47Jesus Christ, Neil.
00:17:49No, it's, it's fine.
00:17:51A little man with the jokes, huh?
00:17:53Okay.
00:17:53All right.
00:17:54All right.
00:17:55Yeah.
00:17:55He's a TA in my marketing class.
00:17:58And, uh, I mean, let's be honest,
00:18:01couldn't keep his eyes off this freshman bod for months.
00:18:05And finally, he worked up the courage to ask me out
00:18:09to see some old people band.
00:18:14Arcade Fire is not an old person band.
00:18:16Uh, do you make a habit of leering at your youngest students, Adam?
00:18:20Well, well, when you put it that way,
00:18:23I guess I actually do sound less creepy in Penny's story.
00:18:29Aw.
00:18:30Cute.
00:18:30I'm 25.
00:18:32He's so old.
00:18:34Fine.
00:18:34He's so old.
00:18:41But I got distracted by the water's flow.
00:18:47Mm.
00:18:51Mm.
00:18:54Mm.
00:18:57Mm.
00:19:03Mm.
00:19:06Mm.
00:19:08Mm.
00:19:19Is that what I think it is?
00:19:21Karen's apple pie.
00:19:22Yeah.
00:19:27So I feel like a jerk.
00:19:30What?
00:19:31God, it's so fine, Abby.
00:19:33You overextended.
00:19:35It happens.
00:19:36Like, I should have known that I couldn't afford it before I offered you a job.
00:19:40And I was getting overwhelmed, and I just also really wanted to help you out.
00:19:43I know.
00:19:45And it's completely okay.
00:19:47And hey, I'm only working for my mom, like, three days a week.
00:19:51So I can come watch the store whenever you need.
00:19:54Really?
00:19:55Yeah.
00:19:57That's what friends are for.
00:19:58That's what friends are for.
00:20:00That's what you sound like.
00:20:01Fucking go with your pie in your room.
00:20:02That's what I was doing anyways.
00:20:04Bye, Abby.
00:20:07See you, dude.
00:20:11Bye, Abby.
00:20:14So when do you find out?
00:20:17Tomorrow evening.
00:20:20Nice.
00:20:21It's a quick trip, hey?
00:20:22Yeah, I haven't seen my parents since Christmas, so I figured it was worth skipping class one Monday.
00:20:28Cool, cool, cool.
00:20:31So, um, what are you planning on going back to school?
00:20:38Oh, I, um, I don't really know that I am.
00:20:41I'm just kind of figuring things out as I go, you know?
00:20:45Sure, but...
00:20:47What?
00:20:49You have a plan, right?
00:20:51No.
00:20:53Not really.
00:20:55Isn't that kind of, uh...
00:20:58Irresponsible?
00:20:59Okay.
00:21:00Hey, why don't we go get a drink?
00:21:01I'm fine.
00:21:01Okay.
00:21:03Yeah, look, dude, I don't know, but I do know that I'd rather spend the next few months or
00:21:08years figuring it out than spend 80 grand learning about something I really don't give
00:21:12a fuck about.
00:21:13Yeah, I mean, sure, and I'm not telling you what to do, but...
00:21:16Oh, sure, you're not.
00:21:16I mean, this is a crucial age.
00:21:19Everything you do now affects the rest of your life.
00:21:22Sure.
00:21:23I just don't want you to make a decision that'll change your trajectory.
00:21:27My trajectory?
00:21:29Come on, you're Andy Offerman.
00:21:30Oh, okay, um, I don't really know what that means, but, what, like, what, am I supposed
00:21:34to be like you and be yet another millennial going for a business degree?
00:21:38Not necessarily, it's...
00:21:39So I can compete for unpaid internships and maybe become an associate by 30?
00:21:43Okay, you know, forget I said anything, it's just...
00:21:45Uh, let's go play some beer part, man.
00:21:46Yeah, come on, yeah, come play.
00:21:52You fucking can't stand that guy, I know.
00:22:12What's wrong, baby?
00:22:13Fucking Neil?
00:22:15I know he can be a bit of a handful, but...
00:22:18No, uh, no, I can actually, I can handle a handful.
00:22:20He's, like, he's always been a handful.
00:22:22Now he's just, like, mean.
00:22:24Well, he's on the verge of puberty, and he's just having a hard time talking to women.
00:22:28He's a dick to dad, too.
00:22:31True.
00:22:31Your father doesn't exactly command respect.
00:22:34Okay, he was being extremely rude to everyone at my party last night.
00:22:37Like, come on, I wasn't that bad when I was that age.
00:22:40Oh, God, no.
00:22:41Your problem years were, like, 14 to...
00:22:44I'll keep it posted.
00:22:46Honey.
00:22:47Honey, why don't you just take him out for ice cream like you used to?
00:22:51Hell, even bring Penny.
00:22:54Okay, okay.
00:22:55Okay.
00:22:59Your perspective creates your reality, hon.
00:23:01I get it.
00:23:18Boom.
00:23:18I am the stone skipping champion.
00:23:21Oh, yeah?
00:23:21Yep.
00:23:22Suck it up, losers.
00:23:23All right.
00:23:24No one likes a cloater, Neil.
00:23:27Okay.
00:23:27Um, ice cream?
00:23:29Loser pays.
00:23:32So you're saying you would have paid if I won?
00:23:34Nope.
00:23:50If you're not going to give me Abby's number, then I'm going to hit on Penny.
00:23:53Oh, go for it, rock star.
00:23:55Uh, Penny's has a boyfriend.
00:23:56Right.
00:23:57Who?
00:23:58That wildly successful guy from last night?
00:24:00Come on.
00:24:00Hey, you're like six, and you don't tell someone you're going to hit on them.
00:24:04Then, how do you do it?
00:24:06I could use some pointers.
00:24:08Are you really asking?
00:24:11Like, like for someone specific?
00:24:14Oh.
00:24:16Oh, my God.
00:24:17Who is it?
00:24:18Please ask me.
00:24:19Ah, you know what, my dear?
00:24:20You know who it is?
00:24:21Secrecy is of the utmost importance of this age.
00:24:24Really?
00:24:25Yeah, man.
00:24:26Like, okay, you might think seating it with a friend is a good idea, but generally it just
00:24:31leads to way more complications.
00:24:33Like, either they'll start liking you, for example, or they'll start on the rumor mill.
00:24:39So, what do I do?
00:24:41Just kiss her or something?
00:24:42Whoa.
00:24:43What do you want to be wanting to see?
00:24:44What Penny is trying to say is, look, that doesn't really fly anymore.
00:24:50The game has changed.
00:24:52Super.
00:24:52Just in time for my puberty.
00:24:55Yeah, okay, um, no, it does, yes, it does suck from that perspective.
00:24:59But, okay, kind of only from that perspective.
00:25:03But, like, does that mean I can't hit on anyone?
00:25:06Is flirting not feminist?
00:25:08Wow, an enlightened boy you are.
00:25:11Yes, thanks, Yoda.
00:25:12Thanks, you.
00:25:13Um, no, I, look, I do hear what you're saying, bud, but they're just two completely different
00:25:20issues, like, entirely.
00:25:21Like, it's just, I mean, there's a difference between flirting and assault.
00:25:25Yes.
00:25:26So, what do I do?
00:25:28Well, do you think she knows?
00:25:31I don't know.
00:25:32Have you, like, caught her eye a few times?
00:25:35Yeah, and did you, like, look away fast?
00:25:38Good.
00:25:38Okay, that's good.
00:25:39Um, stage one is good.
00:25:42The next part's gonna be harder.
00:25:45You're gonna have to talk to her.
00:25:47Alone.
00:25:49How do I do that?
00:25:51Well, I, you know, I think you'll be surprised.
00:25:53Like, if you're both interested, it's just, it's just gonna happen.
00:25:56But, the key is, you need to make it happen soon.
00:25:59Once eye contact is engaged, time is of the essence.
00:26:02Yes, and, and, you know, ask her about herself, you know, be interested.
00:26:08Okay, cool.
00:26:10Penny, can we talk in private, please?
00:26:14Oh, my God.
00:26:18Oh, God, no.
00:26:19And don't smile like that at her.
00:26:21Fuck, she'll know you're a little asshole.
00:26:23Ha, ha.
00:26:25God, I miss you guys.
00:26:30And then we just deal out the cards, and we put the markers into the board.
00:26:35That's my favorite part.
00:26:37Oh, you just like putting pointy things into tight holes.
00:26:41And then we just deal out four cards, and we call back the crib.
00:26:46Ah, yeah, I know that.
00:26:47I read it on the internet.
00:26:50You didn't think I'd show up here with a bunch of pros and not do my research?
00:26:53All right, then.
00:26:56Would you knock that off, Jean?
00:26:59Knock what off?
00:26:59You know exactly what you need to knock off.
00:27:01He's not home.
00:27:03Who's not home?
00:27:04Mr. Daniels.
00:27:06Who's Mr. Daniels?
00:27:08Only the most eligible widower on this side of Main Street.
00:27:11Possibly the whole city.
00:27:12And why would you think a man of that caliber would be interested in you?
00:27:16How exactly did you know he wasn't home?
00:27:19Unless you were doing exactly the same thing this morning.
00:27:21We were talking.
00:27:22Oh, you were just talking.
00:27:24And you were just conveniently outside when he was leaving.
00:27:27I was having my morning coffee.
00:27:28Oh, and you probably poured him a cup of that premium shit that I pay for.
00:27:32Just being a good neighbor, you could learn a thing or two.
00:27:35I can be the good neighbor in other ways.
00:27:37And what way is that?
00:27:39Being the neighborhood tricycle?
00:27:41Don't be mad at me just because I've had more than one sexual partner in the past 50 years.
00:27:45Okay, ladies, ladies, ladies.
00:27:47Mrs. Tremblay, enough of the slut-shaming.
00:27:49Mrs. Tremblay's an independent woman.
00:27:51She can sleep with whoever she wants.
00:27:52Oh, don't worry.
00:27:53She does.
00:27:54Hey, you've heard her.
00:27:57Okay, um, we need to come up with a solution here.
00:28:01And what do you have in mind?
00:28:02Um, I don't know.
00:28:05Maybe you can share him?
00:28:08With her?
00:28:09Ha, ha, ha, ha, please.
00:28:11Her body hasn't exactly kept up.
00:28:13Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:28:15Let's get this game going.
00:28:21So have you guys always lived together?
00:28:23Oh, no.
00:28:24I just moved in recently.
00:28:25Not recently enough.
00:28:27It's been almost two years since she's been invading my personal space.
00:28:30That long already?
00:28:31She's been counting.
00:28:33Jane thinks I need company.
00:28:35She's scared I'm going to turn into an old cook without Michael.
00:28:38Yeah, turn into.
00:28:40And Michael is?
00:28:41My husband.
00:28:43Oh, of course.
00:28:43I'm sorry.
00:28:44Don't be.
00:28:45I killed him.
00:28:46I've joked.
00:28:48It was cancer.
00:28:49The bastard smoked a pack a day for 50 years.
00:28:52You know, you can't do that to people.
00:28:54You have got crazy eyes, Tremblay.
00:28:56One of these days you're going to do that and somebody's going to believe you and lock you up.
00:29:00Can you imagine?
00:29:01Orange is not our color.
00:29:03Oh, suck a dick.
00:29:04That's why I'm always on this guy when he's smoking.
00:29:07I don't smoke.
00:29:09Oh, please.
00:29:10You don't think I can tell when you're working high?
00:29:12We lived through the 60s.
00:29:14It's not the same as cigarettes.
00:29:15You know that can't be true.
00:29:17Okay, well, would you prefer that I vape?
00:29:19Oh, please.
00:29:20So you can look like a giant fucking douche.
00:29:23No, thank you.
00:29:32How'd you two meet?
00:29:34Roommates, roommates, we'll end up being two mates.
00:29:37I actually meant how'd you and Michael meet?
00:29:40Ah, Michael.
00:29:41Now that's a story.
00:29:43He was just home from the war.
00:29:46Oh, World War II?
00:29:47Vietnam.
00:29:48How old do you think we are?
00:29:50Well, you know what soldiers can be like.
00:29:52We tried to play the twin thing on him a few times.
00:29:55But, well, he only had eyes for you.
00:29:59She has slutty eyes.
00:30:03All right, well, it was really awesome meeting you guys.
00:30:05It's nice to finally put faces to names.
00:30:07Oh, it's a pleasure, hon.
00:30:09Oh, and thanks for humoring two old kooks.
00:30:13Do you guys want to do this again next Thursday?
00:30:15Don't say things you don't mean.
00:30:16We'll hold you to it.
00:30:17No, let's do it.
00:30:19I mean, this could be like a weekly cribbage club, you know?
00:30:21When you say it, that sounds lame.
00:30:23All right, next Thursday it is.
00:30:25You know something, sweetie?
00:30:26If you weren't queer, you'd have a steady ready.
00:30:29We need to find a man for this man.
00:30:32Don't say queer.
00:30:33No, that's the good word now.
00:30:34That can't be true.
00:30:35No, she's right.
00:30:37Ha!
00:30:38You learn something new every day.
00:30:39Well, I hear Mr. Daniels is available.
00:30:41Watch it.
00:30:42Oh, sorry.
00:30:43All right, bye, Mrs. Rumbly.
00:30:45Bye, Mrs. Rumbly.
00:30:46See you Thursday.
00:30:47Have a good night, you two.
00:30:51I wasted all my time
00:30:55Searching for one that isn't in my life
00:31:04I held your hand so long
00:31:09That in the end it felt wrong
00:31:13That's why I've given up
00:31:19Saying I'll be on my own
00:31:27Saying I'll be on my own
00:31:32I do
00:31:33Fifty
00:31:34She said to buy you something nice
00:31:36Buy me something nice?
00:31:37Uh-huh
00:31:38Cute
00:31:42You were so close
00:31:43You really were
00:31:44You know, I'm not as good at cribbage
00:31:46As I said I was
00:31:47I know
00:31:49Should we, like, get dinner or something
00:31:52Instead of just drinking all of Jane's money away?
00:31:54Uh, we could gamble it away
00:31:59I think the Tromblaze would be proud
00:32:01I think we would
00:32:02I think they'd be very proud
00:32:04Yeah
00:32:06Definitely gambling hoes
00:32:15Well
00:32:16This is how we spend our last stop
00:32:21I mean, we do have more money
00:32:23Like our own money, so
00:32:24Yeah, I know, I just
00:32:24It feels more badass this way
00:32:26Totally, totally
00:32:26Yeah
00:32:28You should do it
00:32:29You should do this
00:32:30Um, okay
00:32:37Well
00:32:58We just won twenty dollars
00:33:00Twenty dollars?
00:33:03What do we invest in?
00:33:08Uh, more time
00:33:09Oh, more time?
00:33:10Yes
00:33:12Oh my god
00:33:13Oh my god
00:33:14Yes
00:33:15Yes
00:33:16Oh, fuck
00:33:17Ah
00:33:18Ah
00:33:19Ah
00:33:19Ah
00:33:19Ah
00:33:19Ah
00:33:19Ah
00:33:47I know it's 2018
00:33:48But what
00:33:50What nine or ten year old wants to hear
00:33:52That their dad is someone totally different
00:33:59I'm hearing a lot of fear
00:34:01I'm hearing a lot of fear
00:34:01Yeah, I'm afraid
00:34:04I'm afraid of losing them
00:34:05I love them
00:34:06I love them so much
00:34:08I love them so much
00:34:17I don't feel I have a right to
00:34:20You don't have kids
00:34:21And get to change your mind
00:34:22About your family
00:34:24You don't have a lot of fear
00:34:40I'm hearing a lot of fear
00:34:45I'm also hearing a lot of love
00:34:47From a devoted father
00:34:49That have been
00:34:52Thank you, Karen
00:34:54You're doing a great job
00:34:55In a really hard situation
00:34:58I see Andy's back
00:35:00I'm getting a sense that
00:35:02You're wanting to wrap things up for today
00:35:04Is that on track?
00:35:06If by wrap up you mean
00:35:07Put it in its box
00:35:08Lock it ten times
00:35:10Clap it down, yeah
00:35:12So this exact time next week, then yes.
00:35:15Okay.
00:35:16And yes, Andy is back.
00:35:21Don't worry, she's a special one.
00:35:23She'll be okay.
00:35:24Yeah.
00:35:25Thanks, Karen.
00:35:34Hey, Andy.
00:35:35Hey, feeling cured, mister?
00:35:36Yeah, I think that's it for me.
00:35:38Cool, I'll just cancel all your next sessions.
00:35:40Absolutely not.
00:35:42No, no, no, no, no.
00:35:44So, how's the new Kappa students?
00:35:47I mean, they're not you guys.
00:35:49But they're not bad, I guess.
00:35:50I mean, I'm drinking more, but that's probably not their fault.
00:35:55How would you feel about...
00:35:57Do you want to get a beer later?
00:36:00Yeah.
00:36:00Yeah?
00:36:01Yeah, why not?
00:36:02Do you like the hallway?
00:36:03Do you know that place?
00:36:04Of course I know the hallway.
00:36:05I fucking love that place.
00:36:07Sweet, so I'll see you there at like eight?
00:36:10Eight's great.
00:36:10Awesome.
00:36:11Catch you then.
00:36:12Yay, yeah.
00:36:12It's great.
00:36:14Hilarious.
00:36:15Oh, you owe me money.
00:36:17Oh, I forgot my wallet.
00:36:20Oh, that's...
00:36:21Oh, I'm just kidding.
00:36:23Cool Mr. A with his jokes.
00:36:25There you go.
00:36:26Thanks, Andy.
00:36:27Catch you later.
00:36:28Bye.
00:36:28Welcome home.
00:36:29Oh, thank you.
00:36:38So, this is weird, right?
00:36:41No.
00:36:41No?
00:36:42No, I don't think it's weird.
00:36:43Like, I think of it this way.
00:36:45Like, I've got other friends in their 30s.
00:36:48Someone just happened to teach us to kill a mockingbird.
00:36:52Normal.
00:36:53Normal.
00:37:00Hey, I hope we didn't keep you waiting too long.
00:37:02Not at all.
00:37:02I have a beard to keep me company.
00:37:04Good.
00:37:05Hey, Ant.
00:37:06Hey, Mr. Anderson.
00:37:08I think if we're going to be hanging out socially, you should call me Ben.
00:37:11Right, yeah.
00:37:12Ben.
00:37:12No.
00:37:14Mr. A.
00:37:14Like, I'm sick of Mr. A.
00:37:16That's way too weird.
00:37:17Like, first name Mr., last name Anderson?
00:37:20Ben does not exist to me.
00:37:21Okay, fair enough.
00:37:21Who is that?
00:37:27No, but I'm sure no one's lived up to the theater legend of Hans, right?
00:37:31No one understood he's quite like you, dude.
00:37:35So, Hans, I caught up with Andy a little earlier.
00:37:37What's been going on with you?
00:37:39Oh, uh, not much.
00:37:41Just been working, skateboarding, you know.
00:37:45Getting high.
00:37:48Please.
00:37:48Like, I didn't know you were getting stoned every day in class.
00:37:52I mean, to be fair, it was more like three days a week, so.
00:37:57Are you dating anyone?
00:37:59No.
00:38:01What?
00:38:03Sparks flying.
00:38:05What?
00:38:09Well, I assume that means you overheard a confidential conversation I had with your mom.
00:38:17Maybe.
00:38:20I'm married, Andy.
00:38:22And while I'm figuring this out, I respect that.
00:38:26And I respect my wife.
00:38:28Do you really think I want my first sexual experience with a man to be with Hans?
00:38:34No offense, dude.
00:38:36None taken.
00:38:36I'm not really a first choice kind of guy.
00:38:42I'm sorry.
00:38:44I was just completely out of line.
00:38:47You were.
00:38:49But I just want you to be happy.
00:38:51And I think you'd be a lot happier if you came out.
00:38:54That is not for you to decide, Andy.
00:39:01Look, overall, I had a lot of fun this evening.
00:39:04And let's just pretend the last two minutes didn't happen.
00:39:07Okay?
00:39:07Yes, please.
00:39:09But I got to get back to the fam.
00:39:12First round's on me.
00:39:26So, how was everything?
00:39:28Super.
00:39:30Just remembering why I don't hang around with 20-year-olds anymore.
00:39:33Oh.
00:39:59I'm, uh, I'm not gay.
00:40:06Shut up.
00:40:07No, seriously.
00:40:12What?
00:40:15You were the only openly gay kid in our class.
00:40:18Yeah, I, uh, I know.
00:40:20Um, okay, so you're saying you're not attracted to men anymore?
00:40:25No, like, I never was.
00:40:28Your coming out video went, like, viral.
00:40:31Yeah, look, I just, all through elementary school, people made fun of me for being bad at sports,
00:40:39or being, you know, in band, or whatever, you know?
00:40:44Sure.
00:40:45Sure.
00:40:46So, the summer before high school, I visited my family in Montreal.
00:40:50all. My cousin Vince, he's gay and he gave me the idea. Your gay cousin told you to pretend to
00:40:58be
00:40:58gay? No, Jesus Christ, not like that. No, he just, he just, he was, you know, and he's like the
00:41:04coolest
00:41:04guy that I know. And it was 2012 and Frank Ocean had just come out and I don't know, being
00:41:13gay was
00:41:14kind of cool. So I figured if I pretended to be gay just for high school, you know, maybe I
00:41:23wouldn't
00:41:24get laid or whatever, but maybe I could be cool. Wow. So I, I guess that worked out for you,
00:41:32hey?
00:41:32I mean, yeah, I was fucking prom king, but I also thought that I would be out of this town
00:41:39right
00:41:39after I graduated and never come back. So it's not fucking funny. I mean, it kind of is,
00:41:50I guess. I don't, I don't expect you to understand. You've always had a thing.
00:41:59What do you mean? Come on. You're Andy Offerman.
00:42:05Yeah. I'm Andy Offerman. The girl who can't finish her first year of university. The girl
00:42:13who can't keep a job and has absolutely no direction in life.
00:42:19Everybody knows you're destined for great things, Andy. You're special.
00:42:23Yeah. People have been saying shit like that for probably as long as I can remember, you
00:42:29know, that I like have something special, but Hans, I'm not good at anything. You know,
00:42:38it's maybe, oh, um, maybe special is just another word for obnoxious.
00:42:48I think you're special.
00:42:54Sorry, I don't, don't be.
00:42:58Young love.
00:43:06Young love.
00:43:13Young love.
00:43:23Young love.
00:43:32Is this your first cleansing proofs?
00:43:37Really?
00:43:42Really?
00:43:57Hey Andy, I can't figure out how to...
00:44:02Oh, my mistake.
00:44:07Shit.
00:44:08Fuck, fuck, shit.
00:44:10Hansi's fine.
00:44:11No, no, it's not.
00:44:13What?
00:44:13What are you doing?
00:44:14I have to go apologize.
00:44:16Man to man.
00:44:17No.
00:44:17Yes.
00:44:18Yes.
00:44:18I do.
00:44:21Hans, you really don't.
00:44:29Mr. Offerman.
00:44:30Hey.
00:44:31Not sure if you remember me, but...
00:44:34Sure I do, Hans.
00:44:36Right, Hans.
00:44:37Yeah, that's me.
00:44:38Good.
00:44:38Okay.
00:44:39I...
00:44:40I'm so, so sorry that you just saw what you just saw.
00:44:44I just want you to know that I have the best of intentions with your daughter.
00:44:51We were drinking a little bit.
00:44:54Like, not too much, but we were drinking a little bit.
00:44:58And, um, Mr. Anderson was there.
00:45:01And...
00:45:01Not...
00:45:02He wasn't there.
00:45:03Upstairs just now.
00:45:04Right?
00:45:04But he was at the bar with us.
00:45:06Um, and anyways, you know, one thing led to another.
00:45:10And next thing you know...
00:45:11You were trying to fuck my daughter.
00:45:15Ugh.
00:45:16Uh...
00:45:16You know, I...
00:45:18I...
00:45:18I am so sorry.
00:45:19Again.
00:45:20Uh, I just...
00:45:21I have...
00:45:23I have nothing but respect for your daughter.
00:45:26And...
00:45:26And I would never do anything to harm her.
00:45:28You know, I...
00:45:29I was raised by a single mother.
00:45:32So, I just...
00:45:33I respect women so, so much.
00:45:35You know.
00:45:38Okay.
00:45:42Okay.
00:45:45Yeah, yeah.
00:45:50Ha ha ha!
00:45:51Ha ha ha!
00:45:52Ha ha ha!
00:45:54Oh!
00:45:55Uh...
00:45:56Uh...
00:45:57Oh!
00:45:58I only have the best intentions with your daughter!
00:46:01You done?
00:46:04You're the worst.
00:46:05Maybe next time you knock before entering a room?
00:46:09Where do you even find these guys?
00:46:11Also...
00:46:12I thought he was gay.
00:46:14Oh...
00:46:15What?
00:46:15Do...
00:46:16Huh?
00:46:16Yeah, so did I.
00:46:19What's the fucking...
00:46:28Don't even...
00:46:29Andrea Offerman!
00:46:33What the hell do you think you're doing meddling with one of my clients?
00:46:37Oh.
00:46:37Don't you owe me.
00:46:40You eavesdropped on sensitive information and then tried to help one of my clients come out.
00:46:46He's my teacher too?
00:46:47Mr. Anderson?
00:46:48That is bullshit!
00:46:50You should not have listened and you sure as hell shouldn't have approached him about it.
00:46:55Sorry!
00:46:55Do you understand how unprofessional this makes me love?
00:46:58I'm sorry!
00:46:59You bet your ass you're sorry.
00:47:01Well, it's not like nobody knows.
00:47:02Everyone guessed it.
00:47:03Yeah, I mean...
00:47:05You're on your own, kiddo.
00:47:08Damn straight she is.
00:47:10His wife and family don't know.
00:47:13But...
00:47:14You thought every teacher was gay, so that's no surprise.
00:47:18Mom!
00:47:18I almost lost him as a client.
00:47:21And he is in a very vulnerable position right now.
00:47:24Mom, I'm sorry.
00:47:25You're fired is what you are.
00:47:27Fine.
00:47:28It is really time that you learn that your choices have consequences.
00:47:33Drop out of college and expect the world is going to take care of you.
00:47:37Well, you have to take care of yourself from now on, young lady.
00:47:40See, I want to charge you rent.
00:47:43Fifty...
00:47:43No.
00:47:45A hundred dollars a week.
00:47:46Rent?
00:47:47Are you kidding?
00:47:47No.
00:47:48Do every Friday.
00:47:50Starting this Friday.
00:47:52No more supporting this lark!
00:47:57Behind the house I left my body
00:48:00And I left my soul down in Nevada
00:48:04And I was there to blast me
00:48:08But I won't leave my heart
00:48:13With any hand that asks for more
00:48:21And I...
00:48:23Unless...
00:48:26What's wrong?
00:48:28Who?
00:48:29Nothing.
00:48:31You know what you're gonna say.
00:48:33You're gonna say I was too hard on Andy,
00:48:35But she's got to learn that her actions have consequences.
00:48:38That's not what I was gonna say.
00:48:41I mean...
00:48:42I do think that though.
00:48:45Then what is it?
00:48:50Sometimes you are so focused on people being stable
00:48:54That you don't see them for who they are.
00:48:58People.
00:48:59Andy?
00:49:01Me?
00:49:03I want you to see me.
00:49:05I do see you.
00:49:08That's not what I mean.
00:49:10What do you mean then?
00:49:12You need to articulate your feelings dear.
00:49:16You...
00:49:17You met me at my prime.
00:49:18I was an acclaimed playwright.
00:49:21And...
00:49:22I know you think I'm not living up to that.
00:49:24I just know what you're...
00:49:26What you're both capable of.
00:49:29Are you...
00:49:31Are you ever gonna see me?
00:49:33Not who you think I could be.
00:49:36Just...
00:49:36Me as I am.
00:49:39And...
00:49:39Think that that's enough?
00:49:44Karen?
00:49:47I don't know.
00:50:05Oh...
00:50:15You look a little nervous, kiddo.
00:50:17Nah.
00:50:19Yeah, I guess I am.
00:50:20Haven't seen you like this in a while.
00:50:22A long while.
00:50:25Do you think this is a good idea?
00:50:27Like...
00:50:28Look what happened with mom.
00:50:29It's the arts.
00:50:31Everyone knows everyone's business.
00:50:36Um...
00:50:36Okay, is there anything I need to know before going in?
00:50:38Heck yeah.
00:50:39But I'm not gonna tell you that.
00:50:42The crew will take care of you.
00:50:43You gotta stand on your own two feet in this business, lady.
00:50:48Come on.
00:50:54Oh, hey, team.
00:50:55Hey, man.
00:50:56This must be Andy.
00:50:58I sure as heck am, Liam.
00:50:59A pleasure, I'm sure.
00:51:00Oh, charmed.
00:51:02So, what can I do?
00:51:03Where do you need me?
00:51:04Oh, enthusiastic. I like that.
00:51:06Uh, well...
00:51:08We're gonna start with this.
00:51:09It's supposed to be a boat.
00:51:11Oh.
00:51:11Goddamn minimalist obscure directors.
00:51:15I get my life hard all the time.
00:51:18So, I don't know.
00:51:19I mean, uh...
00:51:20Dean wants this to be a boat.
00:51:22So, right now, it's, you know, looking more like a bunch of rags hanging out in space.
00:51:26It really does.
00:51:27Yeah, right?
00:51:28Um...
00:51:28So, I don't really know what to do with it.
00:51:40Um...
00:51:41We could, uh...
00:51:41I was thinking of the same thing.
00:51:42It's like you read my mind.
00:51:44Would you like to start with a shopping trip?
00:51:46Yeah.
00:51:47Some of these guys.
00:51:48Oh, that'd be...
00:51:48Yeah, that'd be perfect.
00:51:49It's a start.
00:51:51We could even, like...
00:51:53Like, I wasn't thinking of these ones, but like something that looks more like this.
00:51:56A little bit old school?
00:51:57Yeah.
00:51:58Yeah?
00:51:59Like, whatever we get.
00:52:00Like, if we bought it new...
00:52:01Can we make it, like, look older?
00:52:02Can we, like, rub it in dirt or something?
00:52:03Yeah, absolutely.
00:52:04You tell me that all the time.
00:52:05Okay.
00:52:06Yeah, I was thinking, uh...
00:52:07Maybe we bring this up a little bit, so let's just fill in the space a little more,
00:52:11and we can, uh...
00:52:12Run some of these rags up to make it look more like a sail.
00:52:15Yeah.
00:52:15Yeah?
00:52:16You're already in my mind.
00:52:18This might work.
00:52:28Hello?
00:53:09Hey, dude.
00:53:11Good day.
00:53:13Hungry?
00:53:15Cool.
00:53:16We're downstairs if you want to join us.
00:53:18Yeah.
00:53:21Is Neil eating?
00:53:23I don't think so.
00:53:24Is he in the mood, I think?
00:53:26Stop talking about me!
00:53:31Yeah, who knows?
00:53:32I mean, maybe I won't get fired from this job after a week.
00:53:36Wow, that would be an accomplishment.
00:53:40Shut up.
00:53:43Um...
00:53:44What's up with you?
00:53:45You're, like, acting kind of weird.
00:53:51Oh, no.
00:53:56Okay?
00:53:58It's not personal at all.
00:54:00No, yeah, right.
00:54:01Right.
00:54:03Like, I think one day we could for sure have a...
00:54:07I don't know, a...
00:54:08a thing.
00:54:10You do?
00:54:11Yeah.
00:54:13Don't you?
00:54:14Yeah, no, I mean, yeah.
00:54:16Yeah, totally.
00:54:17I just...
00:54:18Fuck, I'm in this, like, weird, like, transitional period and...
00:54:21Oh, yeah.
00:54:22I know.
00:54:22It's okay.
00:54:23I get it, Andy.
00:54:25Okay.
00:54:29You're the best.
00:54:33But if we did have sex, you'd probably be singing a different tune right now.
00:54:36That's all I'm saying.
00:54:37And would I?
00:54:38Uh-huh.
00:54:38I mean, they don't call me the love machine for nothing.
00:54:40No, that's...
00:54:40Yeah, you're right.
00:54:41They do call you that.
00:54:42Yeah, they do.
00:54:42Yeah.
00:54:46So...
00:54:49Yeah.
00:54:50Well, I know.
00:54:51I got laid a lot in high school.
00:54:52That's my cat!
00:54:54What?
00:54:55I'm sorry, but...
00:54:57I'm almost positive, but...
00:54:58That's my cat.
00:54:59Alexander.
00:55:02Alexander Hamilton?
00:55:04No!
00:55:05Nope.
00:55:05Not Alexander.
00:55:07Actually, it's Karen.
00:55:08Uh...
00:55:09Nuh-uh.
00:55:11He's my wallpaper.
00:55:14Okay, that's...
00:55:16No, that's...
00:55:16He looks kind of similar.
00:55:18I...
00:55:19See it.
00:55:20Do you see it?
00:55:20I don't really see it.
00:55:21Yeah, there you are.
00:55:22Mommy's here.
00:55:24Mommy's here.
00:55:25Yeah.
00:55:25I don't know where you are.
00:55:28I don't know where you are.
00:55:55Oh!
00:55:56There he is!
00:55:58My Alexander.
00:56:00No, my last.
00:56:01Hi.
00:56:02There you go, yeah.
00:56:03Oh, go inside.
00:56:05Thank you so much.
00:56:07Of course.
00:56:08I, uh, brought some of her...
00:56:09Sorry, his, um, food for you, so...
00:56:12That's so nice of you.
00:56:13Yeah, I, um, I noticed she wasn't really a big fan of the kibble I was buying, so I started
00:56:16her on raw food about a month ago.
00:56:18Oh.
00:56:18Oh, it looks like your captor's a fancy lady.
00:56:22Were you eating fancy lady food?
00:56:25Oh!
00:56:26We're really more of a kibble household.
00:56:28Of course.
00:56:30We should get going.
00:56:31Oh!
00:56:31Don't let the left hand out!
00:56:33Oh, God!
00:56:53Thanks.
00:56:56I still hate your guts.
00:56:57Hmm.
00:56:58Obviously.
00:56:59Dad's heartbroken.
00:57:01I might use this opportunity to move into the number one spot.
00:57:04I'd be disappointed if you didn't.
00:57:06But, I'm sorry about Karen.
00:57:10Thanks, you.
00:57:16Mwah!
00:57:17Mwah!
00:57:20Mwah!
00:57:20Mwah!
00:57:26Mwah!
00:57:28Oh, fuck.
00:57:37Look, Ma.
00:57:39If William Golding wanted us to read into his writing,
00:57:42looking for other meaning,
00:57:43then he would have just written it.
00:57:46I mean,
00:57:47he's a writer.
00:57:48Well, that is the point of metaphor.
00:57:52Pointless if you ask me.
00:57:53Anyway,
00:57:54an island of children sounds terrible.
00:57:57Most of the kids I know are dicks.
00:58:00Neil, please do not talk like that at the table.
00:58:02Well, I guess that explains the plethora of friends that are calling on you.
00:58:11Do you guys hear that?
00:58:13Yeah, what is that?
00:58:16Phil Collins?
00:58:18Or Peter Gabriel?
00:58:21Neither.
00:58:22Before it runs away again.
00:58:25I don't know who that is.
00:58:26Your eyes.
00:58:26I lose myself in your eyes.
00:58:29You look so beautiful, your eyes.
00:58:32Make my heart beat your eyes.
00:58:35Really fast, your eyes.
00:58:38Really want this moment to last.
00:58:40I know that didn't end with your eyes,
00:58:43but I have your cat, your eyes.
00:58:45Come get your cat from me.
00:58:48Jesus.
00:58:48I stole Karen back.
00:58:51What.
00:58:52The.
00:58:52Shit.
00:58:53Shit.
00:58:55I am divorced from this family.
00:58:57Karen, where did you find her?
00:58:59I stole him back.
00:59:01Him?
00:59:01Oh, yeah, Dad.
00:59:02Karen's a him.
00:59:04I don't do it.
00:59:05It is so good to have you back.
00:59:06Hans, why?
00:59:08How?
00:59:09She had like six cats,
00:59:10and she almost lost one while we were there,
00:59:12so I figured, screw it.
00:59:14He'll probably have a better life here.
00:59:16You're amazing.
00:59:19Hans, what was that you were singing?
00:59:21It's the song from Say Anything.
00:59:22I thought it'd be romantic.
00:59:24It's not.
00:59:26Not the song, though.
00:59:27That was romantic.
00:59:29Is it not?
00:59:30No, dear.
00:59:32That's not a real song.
00:59:33Close, though.
00:59:35I thought Andy told you she wasn't interested, Neil.
00:59:38She's not Neil.
00:59:39Hey, let's go inside, okay?
00:59:41But, like, she's right.
00:59:45Come here for a beer, Hans.
00:59:46Yes, please do.
00:59:53Hans.
00:59:54I know, I know.
00:59:55I just...
00:59:56I thought it was worth a shot, you know?
00:59:59It was a good shot.
01:00:00Who knows?
01:00:01It might work yet.
01:00:03No, I'm sorry.
01:00:04I just...
01:00:05I was trying to be nice.
01:00:06You're fine.
01:00:08You wanna come in for a beer?
01:00:11Come on, you're the hero of the day, even if fucking Dean thinks so.
01:00:16Okay, I mean, if you're gonna twist my arm about it, then fine.
01:00:20You're really bad at singing.
01:00:22I know.
01:00:23Is that a gay thing?
01:00:25Oh.
01:00:26Ha, ha, ha.
01:00:37You're right.
01:00:38He is the bomb.
01:00:39Yeah.
01:00:41He's really, like, helpful.
01:00:43Like, he isn't trying to be that lame, get me a lefty hammer or shit.
01:00:48He's been with me for a long time.
01:00:50Ever since the big play.
01:00:55So, how'd you write your play?
01:00:59And I don't want your playbill answer.
01:01:10It's nice to think about it, like, properly again.
01:01:15I mean, it's always there, but I'll go back into it, really, if that makes sense.
01:01:33I guess, well, here goes.
01:01:37Hemingway once said,
01:01:39all you have to do is write one true sentence.
01:01:42Just write the truest sentence that you know.
01:01:45So pretentious.
01:01:47You asked.
01:01:48Carry on.
01:01:50So I did.
01:01:52Took me about two months to write that one sentence.
01:01:56Your mom and I were broke as fuck.
01:01:59But she was great about it.
01:02:01Always.
01:02:04But I finally got it down.
01:02:06I'll never forget that moment.
01:02:07I was sitting at our little kitchenette counter drinking cold, shitty coffee.
01:02:13I got it down, and I couldn't find a single fault in it.
01:02:19And from there, it just, well, it's hard to describe because it takes life.
01:02:27You know, it doesn't just roll.
01:02:30It garners life.
01:02:33That's it, really.
01:02:33It was one deeply true sentence that garnered life.
01:02:40Wow.
01:02:42That's really cool, Dad.
01:02:44Thanks.
01:02:47Oh, good.
01:02:50But...
01:02:53But...
01:02:55Have you ever tried just...
01:02:57What?
01:02:59I don't know.
01:02:59Writing a story?
01:03:00Ha.
01:03:01Guess I should give it a shot.
01:03:03Well...
01:03:03Yeah, maybe then it wouldn't be 16 years since your last original play.
01:03:07I could use another beer.
01:03:10Okay, okay.
01:03:11Me too.
01:03:31Why do you ask?
01:03:33Fancy giving it a stab?
01:03:35Mmm...
01:03:36Nope.
01:03:38I think you'd be good, though.
01:03:41Maybe.
01:03:42But I am rapidly learning that potential is only the start of the story.
01:03:48Preach.
01:03:52You should, though.
01:03:54What?
01:03:56Write again.
01:03:57I do write.
01:03:59I mean...
01:04:00I'm really right.
01:04:03I'm gonna take my beer and Karen for a walk.
01:04:08Karen!
01:04:09Mom?
01:04:11Uh, the cat!
01:04:12Sorry.
01:04:13It's okay, Mom.
01:04:18I'm not getting any taller, so I better settle into these shoes.
01:04:25I have no idea what I'm doing.
01:04:28I just hope I find something to amuse me soon.
01:04:34And I'm not too sad.
01:04:38I just don't know what to do.
01:04:42I just don't know what to do.
01:04:54But I'm like, I need to do a little more.
01:04:59I'm gonna do a little bit.
01:05:00I'm not too sad, though.
01:05:05You're ready.
01:05:05You're ready to do a little bit.
01:05:10I'm not too...
01:05:12it up before christmas that's so great dean i'm so proud of you thank you i knew you had another
01:05:21one
01:05:21in you what another play oh so you think this is all because of you no i think it's all
01:05:36because
01:05:36of you i just helped push you along no okay
01:05:45okay look i just happened to be struck by inspiration and it just so happened to be at
01:05:51the same time that your disapproving hovering was at an all-time high i do not hover okay
01:06:01dean stop acting like a child i'm not i'm just saying i don't want you to take credit
01:06:06from my inspiration nobody is taking any credit okay okay okay
01:06:40mr daniels comes here tonight i'm gonna save his place from here and he can be the rose between
01:06:45two thorns he can be the rose between two thorns i'm telling you he can have a twofer not twofer
01:06:51he
01:06:51can have a twofer do you even know what that means i do okay thanks for coming thanks
01:07:11yeah yeah that and everything else um i'm a really good daughter so yeah how you feeling
01:07:16uh good yeah i'm excited i think they're gonna kill it you want to hang out after the show
01:07:21well i'm actually gonna get a drink with the crew but you guys are welcome to come
01:07:25yeah sounds good yeah yeah get in there it's gonna really fill up so yes okay do you want
01:07:30yeah that's okay oh my god hey thanks so much for coming
01:08:06i guess that's the way it's gonna be
01:08:12nervous
01:08:13very
01:08:14you shouldn't be i wasn't i shouldn't be doing this
01:08:21you know this is about you yeah i know dad it's super obvious oh right like i even thought
01:08:31that was like an unspoken thing cool cool cool like you could have fucking cast me but whatever
01:08:36we both know you would have been terrible
01:08:41i know this last year hasn't been easy for you but i'm proud of you
01:08:47you're putting the work in
01:08:48the work
01:08:50you're figuring your shit out
01:08:54just you don't have to finish figuring it out now
01:08:59thanks dad
01:09:01anyway i'm nervous as hell you gotta go smoke a joint
01:09:05don't tell your mother
01:09:06you think i am nil
01:09:14i guess that's the way it's gonna be
01:09:37hey what's up hey thanks for coming yeah everyone's in there go okay
01:10:07built my home on hollow ground
01:10:12too proud to grow from my roots i got a few friends and i wish they were mine
01:10:23can't get close till i buy my time there's a closet full of pretty ones
01:10:34they have no eyes but they're a hell of a sight get too close and you'll find the bridge between
01:10:44you
01:10:44cross it to find your synthetic light built my home on hollow ground
01:10:54too proud to grow from my roots i got a few friends and i wish they were mine
01:11:05can't get close till i buy my time there's a man who lives in your favorite watch
01:11:15he rises second hand until he slips he holds on tight but no fairly falls
01:11:26close to 12 and lands on six built my home on hollow ground
01:11:37too proud to grow from my roots i got a few friends and i wish they were mine
01:11:47can't get close to buy my time there's a school
01:11:54there's a school that teaches them how to make a human cry
01:12:02tell them that they're alive
01:12:07tell them that they are alive
01:12:08tell them that they are alive
01:12:08they say
01:12:10you always are
01:12:12you always are
01:12:14built my home on hollow ground
01:12:20too proud to grow from my roots i got a few friends and i wish they were mine
01:12:31can't get close till i buy my time no i can't get close till i buy my time
01:12:48so
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