00:13Did you three just escape from the shallow grave?
00:20Self is gonna be here any minute.
00:23Self Salamanca was my co-star on Sing It Loud.
00:28I would have been lost in L.A. without her.
00:31I mean, she was like my family.
00:34Except I wasn't embarrassed to be seen with her.
00:39Okay, you all need to change, you reek.
00:43Well, we had to mulch the roses.
00:45You know me and my roses. I just care to mulch.
00:51Hey.
00:53Oh, Maddie, no!
00:56Hey.
00:58I guess I am the only one in this family who cares about making a good impression on our guest.
01:03Not so fast.
01:10Looks like somebody has a crush on Self.
01:14America has a crush on Self.
01:17I'm the guy who has a shot.
01:23So, are you as excited about seeing my L.A.P.F.F. as I am?
01:29Um, actually, Self can be a bit much.
01:40There's my P.F.W.L.I.W.N.
01:44I'm sorry, what?
01:46Best friend forever who lives in Wisconsin now?
01:51Mr. and Mrs. Rooney, great house.
01:55You don't even know.
01:56Well, actually, Self, we live here, so we do know.
02:01No.
02:02No, you don't.
02:04I'm from Hollywood.
02:05I see beauty more clearly.
02:09I see beauty very clearly, standing right in my living room.
02:16A rose to thank you for the hours of joy I get watching your show.
02:21You watch Raise the Roof.
02:23So sweet.
02:25But don't get your hopes up.
02:28I'm 16.
02:29Really?
02:30Because you don't look a day over gorgeous.
02:44I'm up with the sunshine.
02:47I lace up my hot sauce.
02:50Slam dunk, ready or not.
02:53Yeah, show me what you got.
02:55I'm under the spotlight.
02:57I tell you, come on and follow.
03:01You dance to your own beat.
03:04I'll sing the melody when you say yeah.
03:09I say no when you say so.
03:14All I want to do is go, go, go.
03:17You, you, you're the half of me.
03:21Me, the half will never be.
03:23Me, the half will never be.
03:27You, you, you, you're the half of me.
03:31Me, the half will always lead.
03:35And we both know you're better in stereo.
03:47Class of 89, reunions this Saturday night.
03:52Sign up here to volunteer.
03:55Don't make me use my whistle.
04:01I am so excited for your reunion.
04:04Thank you, honey.
04:06You know, um, I was kind of a big deal in high school.
04:10Also, things might get a little crazy town when primetime Pete Rooney rolls in.
04:16Okay, I'm a long-time resident of crazy town, so I think I'll be okay primetime.
04:25It's time to put the Bray and Olympics trophy in the school's case.
04:30Joint custody just, it isn't working out, Artie.
04:33I'm happy to keep it at the school if it prevents you from eating cereal out of it.
04:39I only did that once, and it tasted like victory.
04:47With raisins.
04:54Dang it!
04:55Case won't open.
04:57Guess I'll have to keep it in my house.
04:59Ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:05Nice try.
05:14What is that?
05:22It's beautiful.
05:25And unexpectedly sticky.
05:31You hold in your hand the porcupine prism, which will lead you to the key of power.
05:41According to Ridgewood lore, the key of power unlocks locker C-23.
05:47Legend states that visionary math geeks created the key in 1989.
05:53Then hit it where it could only be found by the chosen one.
05:57I am the chosen one.
06:02We have to get into locker C-23.
06:06The scroll says the prism will guide us to the key of power on the first night of the first
06:12month in the year of the snake.
06:15Wait!
06:17That's this Saturday.
06:19How do we get into school on a Saturday night?
06:22Saturday night.
06:25Sign up for your own Coach Rooney's 25th reunion.
06:30Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
06:33I have to volunteer for my dad's reunion.
06:35Not before I can volunteer for my mom's reunion.
06:40Well, thank you, boys.
06:43No, thank you, Father.
06:47See you Saturday night, wad bag.
06:53And next period.
07:01So there we are, shooting the tropical episode of Sing It Loud.
07:06And the whole cast of Sing It Loud.
07:14The shipwrecked.
07:17Yeah, but then, oh, but then, we heard the monkeys singing the theme song to Sing It Loud.
07:33It was like Toad's Hilaire.
07:36That show is so five minutes ago.
07:41Let's talk about your new show, self.
07:44Oh, you mean Raise the Roof.
08:00Raise the Roof is about four lady carpenters who build houses by day and sing by night,
08:06but still find time to solve crimes and compete in beauty passions.
08:10I don't know how they do it.
08:19Hey, you.
08:20Hey, you back.
08:23People, people.
08:27Diggy and I recently decided that we're in like,
08:30but we're just keeping it on the DEL.
08:33Who else needs to know?
08:34I'm in like.
08:36I want the world to know.
08:38I know it.
08:40He knows it.
08:40And we like it that way.
08:42I hate it this way.
08:46Um, so, you are about to meet Liv's best friend, South Salamanca.
08:51You're probably not going to like her, but just do me a favor.
08:54I'd do anything for the girl I like.
09:05Yeah, so, um, just when we go ahead, just be nice to her.
09:09Sure.
09:10I like doing favors for people I like.
09:16Okay, one hug, but just because you're really cute right now.
09:21Person!
09:25Oh, no, that was just a lamppost.
09:33Yeah, so, there she is.
09:35Prepare to be ignored, because she really only listens to Liv.
09:40And what is all this yum-yum soup?
09:47Uh-huh.
09:49Um, so, Diggy, this is South Salamanca.
09:53Hi, nice to meet you.
09:55I love your show.
09:56You watch my show?
09:59You watch her show?
10:02It's really cool to meet you in person.
10:05Well, it's cool to be met.
10:07You don't even know.
10:12Wow, gorgeous brown eyes.
10:15Thanks.
10:17My mom calls them her little chocolate chips.
10:25What are you drinking there, punch?
10:27Let me freshen that up.
10:34Wow, I was not expecting that in Wisconsin.
10:3710,000 cows and one good-looking side of beef.
10:49Karen, uh, wait.
10:52I just wanted to tell you that Amy Becker is going to be here tonight.
10:58She and Prime Time were kind of a thing.
11:01I don't want you to be jealous.
11:04Oh, mama don't get jelly.
11:08So you're not going to chomp ice all night like you do when you get nervous?
11:12Mama also don't get nervy.
11:16And you're going to speak normally in front of my friends, right?
11:22Mama might.
11:34You weren't kidding.
11:39Watch this, honey.
11:41What time is it?
11:43Rock!
11:46Rock!
11:52You must be Amy, Pete Rooney's ex-girlfriend.
11:56Be Pete Rooney?
11:59I wish.
12:02No, I'm Amy Smalls.
12:05He dated Amy Becker.
12:07Amy!
12:09This woman wants to meet you!
12:12Oh!
12:28Karen?
12:29Karen Rooney?
12:32Oh, you must be Petey's wife.
12:35I'm Amy Becker.
12:36It's so nice to meet you.
12:42Amy!
12:43Amy!
12:44So good to see you again.
12:47Petey!
12:48Oh!
12:51How do you still look so good?
12:54I thought I was a swimsuit model.
12:58You're a swimsuit model?
13:01That just put me through med school.
13:06Swimsuit model, doctor.
13:09Good for you, good for you.
13:22So, here on the basketball team.
13:25Um, actually, I'm the captain.
13:29Well, aye, aye, captain.
13:41Okay, how upset would you be if I threw south so far she became north?
13:48Sorry, what?
13:49She's all up on Dickie, and she needs to not be.
13:55Okay, well, then Maddie just talked to her.
13:58I mean, all you have to do is say that he's your boyfriend.
14:01Okay?
14:01Say it with me.
14:03Boyfriend.
14:07Diggie and I don't play fast and loose with language like that.
14:11Listen to yourself.
14:13No wonder Sal thinks he's available.
14:15Okay, well, can't you, like, talk to her and tell her to back off?
14:19I mean, she listens to you.
14:21You once talked her into wearing a parrot as a hat to the Sing It Loud premiere.
14:27Yeah, I didn't want her wearing the same bird as me.
14:31So, you'll talk to her and tell her to stay away from my friend-boy?
14:38Friend-boy?
14:40Okay, Maddie, Sal is not the problem here.
14:43You are.
14:44I mean, it is as clear as my skin after a facial.
14:47Or any time, really.
14:53Fine, I'll talk to her.
14:55By the way, your face is really blotchy right now.
15:08The instructions say to place the prism on top of a janitor's mop right here
15:13and wait for the moon glow to hit it.
15:15Well, then, we wait.
15:18I spy with my little eye something...
15:24The prism!
15:24I knew that was too obvious.
15:28No! Look! The prism!
15:31The prism!
15:54I spy with my little eye the key of power.
16:03It is mine!
16:05I alone will unearth the secrets of Locker C-23.
16:10Is that Liv holding a go-to-prong with me, arty sign?
16:16Oh, I know she's not there, but still I must turn!
16:28Two, three, four.
16:30What you gonna do when your house is crumbling?
16:33What you gonna do when the world is rumbling?
16:37What you gonna do when you're looking for the truth?
16:40Time to put down your tools.
16:42Pick up your mics and raise the roof.
16:48Oh!
16:50Oh!
16:52Oh!
16:54Oh!
16:55Oh!
16:55Maddie told me to be nice to South, so I've been hanging out with her all night.
17:00Who's racking up major brownie points with this lady?
17:04This guy.
17:06Oh!
17:11Hey!
17:12Can I talk to you for a second?
17:14Sure thing.
17:15Keep my step warm.
17:28I see what you're doing, my man.
17:31Game!
17:32Recognize his game!
17:36What?
17:36Why were you in there?
17:39Because I wouldn't have your attention if I just walked up the stairs, now would I?
17:48Stay away from South.
17:50My sister might have a crush on you, but I will crush you!
17:57Hey, so, I just wanna talk to you about Diggy.
18:01Oh, let me start.
18:03He is good looking and he can sing.
18:06You don't even know.
18:08I don't even know.
18:12Yeah, so listen.
18:14He's kind of...
18:16It's like, um...
18:19He's...
18:20I mean, you know, he's like a...
18:22He's sort of...
18:23It's mostly...
18:24So, uh...
18:26Yeah!
18:30Nailed that.
18:32Oh!
18:33So, does he have a girlfriend?
18:39Hmm...
18:39Failed that.
18:42Oh!
18:42Oh!
18:44Does Diggy have a girlfriend?
18:46Wow!
18:47Interesting.
18:50Um...
18:51That's a really charged and labely word, you know?
18:56You don't even know what I know, but you know what I know?
19:00He is C to the U to the T.
19:05He ain't cute!
19:10He's right.
19:11He is cute.
19:13Be ashamed if something were to happen to him.
19:25So, you ready to see me open locker C-23 with the key of power?
19:32Never underestimate a ginger!
19:35We have paprika, my blood!
19:45Hey, Mom.
19:47You okay?
19:49Oh, I'm fine.
19:55Mom, come on.
19:57I know that look.
19:59I've worn that look.
20:01What's wrong?
20:04I'm just sitting here wondering how I'm supposed to measure up to a supermodel slash doctor.
20:11Yeah, I saw her.
20:13Nice work, Dad.
20:18What?
20:21You are a few things she's not.
20:23You're funny and smart and pretty darn cool.
20:30Thank you, honey.
20:34What else am I...
20:37I'm a little meaty right now.
20:42But you're also a great mom.
20:46That's very sweet.
20:48It's one other thing.
20:50Dad married you.
20:55Well, he did, didn't he?
20:57He could have married Christy Brinkley in there and instead he chose Carol Burnett.
21:04I have no idea who either of those people are.
21:10If it makes you happy, go with it.
21:15Tell your mommy you rub her.
21:21Artie.
21:28Oh, there you are.
21:30Are you okay?
21:31You've been chomping ice all night.
21:35I just needed a minute, but I'm better than ever.
21:39May I present for their throwback dance our prom king and queen, Pete Rooney and Amy Becker.
21:57Home queen and Amy Becker.
21:59Hi.вBous,
22:08singer. I love you,
22:08too. I love you.
22:17So... My home
22:19queen's
22:20been chomping ice all night. I love you,
22:24too. I love you.
22:26oh no i'm too late i'm afraid so joey but you've got a good view as i meet my destiny
22:42did not see that coming my inability to take the stairs in a timely fashion has saved me once again
22:49and now my destiny awaits
23:01it worked
23:04class of 89 burn
23:15we got my own kid
23:19how funny is that
23:23arnie is this that nice boy joey you're always going on and on about
23:30i do not quit talking mom
23:34did your mommy just say you love me
23:41come on gang let's go pants principal fickman
23:49sales didn't get it when i told her to leave diggy alone now i knew she'd listen to live who
23:54was
23:54conveniently off looking for vegan fudge this was the perfect swap opportunity
24:01now i know that's a live word but i'm just getting into character
24:09fans are still there right
24:28hey
24:30hey
24:31hey sound it's your dff qiz live
24:41What does that mean?
24:43It's your best friend forever, Quill.
24:48Yeah, Zoo.
24:49So anyway, I just wanted to say, maybe you should, like, back up off Diggy.
24:55Like now, Zs.
24:56Okay, Zs.
25:01What are you doing, Rudy?
25:06That's me, Rudy.
25:08Live, Rudy.
25:14Okay.
25:18So, I was just telling South that she should maybe, like, back up off you.
25:26What, you mean she was flirting with me?
25:29Are you dead?
25:35And what's the big deal?
25:36Do you have a girlfriend or something?
25:40I think I'll let Liv answer that.
25:44Liv?
25:49Yeah.
25:51Answer the question.
25:53Liv?
25:55Whoa.
25:57Two Livs?
25:58Does Maddie know about her?
26:03Please.
26:04Two Livs?
26:05Like I would ever wear this outfit.
26:09Okay, now that you're here, can you please talk to her?
26:12No!
26:13Maddie, this is ridiculous.
26:16Okay, you know what?
26:17I am going to put this in terms that you can understand.
26:20Ready?
26:20It is time to step up to the hoop and swing for the...
26:28...board's thing.
26:34Can you just say it?
26:36Okay.
26:49Um...
26:50...Diggy...
26:52...is my...
26:58...boyfriend.
27:03Yes.
27:06Finally!
27:10Hear that, everybody?
27:13Maddie Rooney...
27:15...is my girlfriend!
27:21Maddie Rooney's my girlfriend!
27:36Okay, so when I pictured that moment in my head, he wasn't...
27:40...running away, screaming.
27:43I did it!
27:44I'm so proud of you, Mads.
27:47Now please take this off.
27:50Yeah.
27:51Way to go.
27:52Tiggies, a total score.
27:55And...
27:55...no damage.
27:56There's tons of other fish in the sea for me.
28:00How about a guppy?
28:06Here to join me in the moonlight for a juice box, though?
28:11Sure.
28:13Why not?
28:16So...
28:16...you really a fan of my show?
28:19Oh, you don't even know!
28:31Hey, man.
28:32Hello.
28:34Artie.
28:35Did you spend all weekend talking about me and your mommy?
28:41My mother and I are no longer on speaking terms.
28:45At least until Taco Tuesday.
28:51Listen, wadbag.
28:52I know we had our differences the other night, but...
28:55...we sure did make quite a team.
28:58Speak for yourself, Rooney.
29:00I'd attest to you with heavy fiber in my being.
29:03And I'm gonna delete you from my phone.
29:07The fact that I was even in there tells me everything I need to know.
29:13Betty RP is my girlfriend!
29:17Betty RP is my girlfriend!
29:20Betty RP is my girlfriend!
Comments