00:10Okay, guys, while Dad's away, Mom's gonna give her first wizard lesson.
00:14So let's show her some respect.
00:16Oh, we respect her. It's you we don't respect.
00:21Anywho.
00:22See? We don't respect you because you say things like that.
00:28Uh, yay, I'm in the wizard's lair.
00:31Or as I like to call it, the garage sale that never happened.
00:37Okay, guys, now listen up.
00:39Dad wants me to teach the lesson today while he's away at the No Wizard Left Behind conference.
00:45So let's get this over with.
00:47Okay, uh, what is wizard where?
00:52Max.
00:53Alex is on my side of the bench.
00:54You don't own the bench, Max.
00:56Dad's side, I do.
00:57You guys are being childish right now.
01:00Mom's here, you shouldn't be doing...
01:01Don't make me stand up.
01:03I just...
01:04That is my dad.
01:05That's it.
01:06I quit.
01:07Justin, it's all yours.
01:13She, uh, lasted a lot longer than Dad said she would.
01:24Today we continue with magical wizard garments.
01:28Having covered armor, we move on to sportswear.
01:37This is a speed shirt.
01:39It gives you supersonic speed.
01:42Oh, does it grow your hair really long?
01:47Speed.
01:48Shirt.
01:52Now, watch how fast I can run into the sub shop, make a sandwich, and come back.
01:56Okay, ready?
02:01Done.
02:04No way.
02:07Yes way.
02:08Wow.
02:11You forgot the cheese.
02:14Oh, hang on.
02:19Is that enough cheese for you?
02:21I think so.
02:22Nice.
02:25Okay.
02:27Item two is called a nightcap.
02:30Whoever wears it falls asleep instantly.
02:33Well, are you gonna keep teaching?
02:34Because I want to be asleep for that.
02:36Hand it over.
02:38Ooh, I'm tempted.
02:39But then you wouldn't get to know about these.
02:42Sure, Woody.
02:46Smarty pants.
02:50They give whoever wears them superior knowledge on anything and everything there is to know.
02:56I'd put them on, but I'm already smarter than them.
03:01Ooh, you're smarter than pants.
03:03Good for you.
03:06Now, pay attention while I read off some of the possible side effects of keeping the pants on too long.
03:11Side effects may be headache, nausea, rash, chronic giggling, belly button bubbles, say it don't spray, disease, tongue reversal, ear
03:20gas, sweaty knees, Picasso face, problems with the bowels.
03:26All right, lesson's over.
03:27Come on, Max.
03:28I think I'm just saying draw on his face.
03:30Okay, cool.
03:32Ooh.
03:37Ooh.
03:37The moments can fix any problems as light as the ease.
03:41Yes, please.
03:43You can laugh.
03:43I know it'll go to your head when you write a report on a book you never read.
03:47If you snap your fingers, you can make your bed.
03:50That's why I said everything is not what it seems when you can get.
03:57All you want in in your wildest dreams, you might run into trouble if you go to extremes because everything
04:07is not what it seems.
04:10I tell you, everything is not what it seems when you can have what you want and bad is simpler
04:18to mean.
04:19Be careful not to mess with the balance of things because everything is not what it seems.
04:37Alfred, the plan was if you were going to be ref, you wouldn't have thrown me out of the game.
04:42Hey, when I put this shirt on, friendship goes away.
04:49Hey, look at the line for the water fountain.
04:51Oh, wow.
04:56Hey, Zeke.
04:58What's with the line?
04:59Are the other ones broken?
05:01Nope.
05:01The water that comes out of this one is the best in the school.
05:05But I don't get it.
05:06Water's water.
05:08Well, I beg to differ.
05:09This water is delicious.
05:13Excuse me.
05:16Sheriff's in town.
05:18Step away from the watering hole.
05:26Now that is some fine H2O.
05:34If I could figure out a way to bottle this stuff, I would make a fortune.
05:39You can bottle it.
05:41Alfred, don't bother me.
05:42I'm thinking.
05:45Hey, Alex.
05:46Are you as excited as I am about the Tribeca quiz bowl?
05:50Oh, my gosh.
05:51No.
05:55You're excited?
05:56Who wouldn't be?
05:57It's an academic decathlon.
05:58And when I take my team to victory, people are going to know me as Harper.
06:03The girl who's got the brains.
06:04Not just Harper, the girl who's the fashion dynamo.
06:10Harper, if you want people to notice that you're smart, she might want to wear a little
06:14less produce.
06:16That's not going to happen.
06:19Papayas just came into season.
06:23Well, I'd like to be known as Alex, the girl who doesn't care what she's known as.
06:27You are known as that.
06:29I don't care.
06:30See, it looked like I really didn't care there for a second, huh?
06:33That was good.
06:35Oh, my gosh.
06:36There's Dean.
06:37I hope he knows me.
06:39Dean Moriarty?
06:41You don't want to know him.
06:43I hear he plays with firecrackers.
06:48Dean Moriarty!
06:51Hey, I was wondering if you could be a good little kimosabe and rustle up some students
06:57to help gussy up the gym for the big quiz bowl this year.
07:02You got to slow down, Mr. Larry Tate.
07:05I'm only on my first semester of cowboy.
07:10All right, Dean.
07:12You and your whole posse are on set-up patrol.
07:17Hey, sitting up might be all right.
07:20What time should we be there?
07:21What?
07:22You'll do it?
07:24That was a lasso toss in the dark.
07:27I'll meet you at 3 o'clock.
07:30Moriarty, you're turning into a citizen.
07:35Looks like I'll be helping set up the gym for quiz bowl this year.
07:38Why do I have a feeling you're just doing that to get to know Dean?
07:42Because I'm making it pretty obvious.
07:46Hey, Dean.
07:48What's up, Russo?
07:50Yeah, what's up, Russo?
07:52She's cool.
07:52She's cool.
07:53Oh, she's cool.
07:55She's cool.
07:58So, um, I hear you're setting up the gym for quiz bowl this year.
08:02It's kind of my thing, so maybe we should talk about that and see how it's going to work.
08:06Want a thumb wrestle for it?
08:08Huh.
08:09Cute.
08:11Oh, I know.
08:15Most chicks don't like to get down and dirty with how things work.
08:18They usually just make posters and gossip.
08:21Really?
08:22Because it sounds like you're gossiping about chicks right now.
08:25Oh, I'll be setting up the big boy stuff and I'll get you some cardboard and you can make yourself
08:29a poster.
08:37So, uh, Dean, what are you thinking?
08:41I think I'm setting up for the quiz bowl with Russo while you guys are making posters.
08:46Got it, Dean.
08:48Guys, we're going to make posters.
08:50Yeah!
09:05What you doing?
09:07What does it look like I'm doing?
09:09I'm making a pizza.
09:10Oh, watch it.
09:11I own sarcasm and didn't give you permission to use it.
09:16Cute.
09:17Get used to it.
09:19Okay, so, um, what do you want me to do?
09:21Well, you can finish wire on the last buzzer for me.
09:24Okay.
09:24Remember, green goes to red, goes to blue, goes to blue, red, goes to green, red, goes to blue, green.
09:32Uh, okay, I miss all of that, but yeah, I'll figure it out.
09:36It's good.
09:42Oh, hey, Harper.
09:43Nice headband.
09:45Are those real grapes?
09:47No.
09:48The real grapes didn't survive the washing machine.
09:50But you know what?
09:52But it took this to figure out this.
10:01Yes, it did.
10:04Hey, do you mind if my team practices are buzzer technique?
10:07Let me just hook this up first.
10:13And...
10:14Oh, that looks pretty.
10:15Okay.
10:19All right, Team Maroon, ready positions!
10:27This dangerous South American spider is often found in boxes of exported fruit, particularly bananas.
10:45Does anyone else's hair feel hot?
10:50What's happening?
10:55Don't look at me.
10:57I'm a girl.
10:57I was just making posters.
11:06Thank you very much, Alex.
11:08Nellie dropped out of the quiz bowl.
11:10That whole buzzer accident freaked her out.
11:13Oh, wah, wah.
11:14She looks better with her hair up anyway.
11:18Maybe if you weren't so concerned with getting to know Dean, you would have hooked the wires up the right
11:23way.
11:23Now, now, don't go blaming Dean.
11:25I would have jacked that up anyway.
11:29And besides, can't you just get someone to fill in for Nellie?
11:33No.
11:34Everyone in school is already on their team, so we have to forfeit.
11:38Ugh, Justin's team's probably gonna win now.
11:40Now I'll never get a new reputation.
11:43It's really hard being known just as the glamour girl.
11:51I wish you were smart.
11:53Then you could fill in for Nellie.
11:55I am smart.
11:57I'm street smart.
11:58But not book smart.
12:00I am too book smart.
12:02Sure, I don't read books, but I hollow them out and hide things in them.
12:08Hey, Harper.
12:09Heard about Nellie's little, uh, accident.
12:12Thank you, Alex.
12:13Yeah, nice work.
12:14Way to zap the competition.
12:16Hey, just because you're winning through a forfeit doesn't mean you really win.
12:21That's not a satisfying victory.
12:23Oh, well, I'm pretty satisfied.
12:25How about you, Zee?
12:26I'm very satisfied.
12:28Thanks for asking.
12:32Miss me high, hate me low.
12:33That's what I'm talking about.
12:35Oh!
12:40Well, guess what?
12:41You tools didn't win.
12:43Harper's team doesn't have to forfeit because I just joined it.
12:48You?
12:49Come on, Alex.
12:50You got a D in lunch.
12:52Ooh, ouch!
12:53Fly high, hit me bar.
12:55Ooh!
12:58Oh, please.
13:00The quiz bowl's just a glorified trivia game.
13:02I know stuff.
13:03You know what?
13:05Beating you in this competition will be a delight.
13:08And to make things fair, which I should,
13:11I'll even loan you my 15,000 handwritten cross-reference index cards
13:16of informacionica.
13:21Does one of those cards tell you not to answer the phone yellow?
13:27I can't wait for this quiz bowl now.
13:29Zeke, are you feeling the need to do what I'm feeling the need to do?
13:32The need to blog about it?
13:34Oh, yes!
13:40Alex, what are you doing?
13:42You're just going to embarrass yourself in front of everyone.
13:47I'm going to have to hit the books.
13:49Okay, but not the ones that are hollowed out.
13:51I'm going to have to hit the books.
14:21Headache, nausea, rash, skeleton legs, belly button bubbles,
14:30say-it-don't-spray-it disease, smelly feet, yellow toes, flaky hair,
14:39oily legs, scaly piss.
14:45Huh.
14:46Knowing stuff is so cool.
14:57What are you doing?
14:58You remember how people love the water fountain water?
15:01I hauled this whole bucket of it home from school.
15:06Now I'm going to bottle it,
15:07and I'm going to sell it back to them.
15:12Why are you going through all this trouble?
15:14Why don't you just sell them bottled water
15:17and tell them it's right in the fountain?
15:19It all tastes the same.
15:24We know you have a lot of choices for your fountain water.
15:27We're glad you chose us.
15:31Hey, you guys are waiting in line to buy this fountain water
15:34because you don't want to wait in line at the fountain.
15:36Meanwhile, there's no line at the fountain.
15:41Hey!
15:41Hey, there's no line here now!
15:45Hey, guys!
15:46When we're done with these,
15:47we can use our empties to fill up at the fountain for free!
15:54We just lost our business.
15:58What are we going to do?
16:00We've got to come up with something!
16:01Panic in one.
16:02It's never not worked.
16:14Oh.
16:15My.
16:15Gosh.
16:16This is such a big turnout.
16:24I guess there's no point in waiting around for more people.
16:30Okay, Calico Kittens,
16:32let's get ready to quiz-
16:36bowl.
16:42Quiz bowl?
16:44What are we doing here?
16:47Uh,
16:48I, uh,
16:49just wanted to come by
16:50and try to, uh,
16:51see your poster.
16:53Really?
16:55Sure.
16:59One, two, three,
17:00win!
17:05Why are you rolling those stretchies up?
17:08They're cute and really stand out,
17:09which is the sign of a really good stretchy.
17:12Oh,
17:12it's just hot in here, you know?
17:14Uh, but, uh, remember,
17:15this isn't about me.
17:16This is about everybody getting to appreciate you for your brains
17:19and not just your oranges.
17:23They're tangelos.
17:27teams ready?
17:28Have some fun,
17:29take your time,
17:30and remember,
17:31there are no losers,
17:33only winners
17:34and the people that aren't them.
17:38Question number one.
17:40What umbrella term refers to the diseases
17:42of the heart and blood vessels?
17:45Cardiovascular disease.
17:47Correct!
17:55Nice!
17:55You studied!
17:57Yeah, that's what I did.
18:00Next question.
18:02How many distinct codon sequences
18:04are there in an RNA messenger molecule?
18:08Eight or two cubed.
18:15What did we say, Zeke?
18:16If it's a guess,
18:18it's a mess.
18:2364 for a cubed.
18:24And bingo
18:26was his name-o.
18:33You can't see through these cards,
18:36can you, Russo?
18:39Wow, how did you know that?
18:42You're the one who said he studied.
18:43Why are you asking me?
18:46Larry Kate,
18:47you know,
18:48I should get credit for this.
18:49She studied off of my study card.
18:51Okay, look,
18:52I think we all established
18:53that I studied here.
18:54Mr. Larry,
18:55take question three,
18:56please.
18:58Question three.
19:03Archimedes principal.
19:089,476,251 micrometres.
19:20Puppets.
19:26The Japanese pronunciation is
19:28Dariga e ioga
19:30hanasimasuka.
19:35My
19:36study
19:37cords.
20:27The Japanese sprang
Comments