- 7 hours ago
Head Witch in Charge
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:23Jesus! Mom! Can you at least warn me when you're gonna do that? Please? Oh, please!
00:00:30Don't be such a child. Do you still have the Wand of Light?
00:00:42See? The all-powerful magic heirloom. Still safe and sound.
00:00:47Well, you should be more careful. The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
00:00:53Yeah. And if it falls into the wrong hands, it would become the most dangerous weapon in the world.
00:01:00But a marriage to another noble witch family would only strengthen your power.
00:01:06Yeah. Unless it's an evil Svensson, right?
00:01:09The Svensons are our worst enemies, Leona. Do you know how much our family has suffered over the centuries because
00:01:16of them?
00:01:17I know. Sorry.
00:01:21You are the guardian of the Wand of Light, Leona. And you can't reach your full potential until you marry
00:01:28and succeed me as head of the family.
00:01:31Come home with a husband next week or I will pick one for you.
00:01:34What?
00:01:35Mom, no, please don't.
00:01:37Leona Sherwood, you are getting married whether you like the boy I pick or not.
00:01:42Mom, please-
00:01:43Understand?
00:01:46Don't worry, Mom. I'm the responsible daughter. Remember.
00:01:58Okay, Leona Sherwood. This is your last weekend of freedom.
00:02:06For two more nights. Fuck my responsibility. I'm gonna have some fun.
00:02:25Thank you. That would be $25.
00:02:29I think you mean it's on the house, right?
00:02:33Right. It's on the house.
00:02:54There you are, little Miss Sherwood.
00:03:03Where the hell are you?
00:03:04I'm in Vegas like I said it would be old man.
00:03:07Hey, don't you get smart with me, you little shit.
00:03:10Remember your mission.
00:03:12Seduce the Sherwood heir and marry her and then that whole obnoxious family will be there to pay off our
00:03:17debts.
00:03:18You mean your debts?
00:03:19Quiet.
00:03:20It's bad enough that I have a sorry excuse for an heir.
00:03:23You are an embarrassment to the Spence in name.
00:03:27Now, if you don't marry the Sherwood girl like I told you,
00:03:30I am going to sell your little sister off to old Fitzgerald to be his fourth wife.
00:03:37Dad's secret is just a kid.
00:03:38When I want your opinion, I will ask for it.
00:03:42Until then, you shut up and do as I say. Do you understand?
00:03:46Yeah, I understand.
00:03:49Good! And you, keep practicing. You sound god-awful.
00:03:55Heartless fucking bastard.
00:04:11It's two of us.
00:04:13You're saying you don't remember me?
00:04:15Who remembers shipping in his dumb teams anyways?
00:04:17No way.
00:04:19Totally.
00:04:20I love that show.
00:04:21I watched it in one sitting at like 2am.
00:04:23This is one of my favorites.
00:04:25It definitely doesn't get the love that it deserves.
00:04:27But I think it's one of the best ones.
00:04:29Really?
00:04:30I never begged you for a sappy romance kind of guy.
00:04:35Looks can be deceiving.
00:04:41The wand of light.
00:04:44So it does exist.
00:04:46Maybe I'm just jaded.
00:04:47It's hard to believe that love like that actually exists in real life.
00:04:51Why not?
00:04:52We're witches.
00:04:53Monsters and magic exist in our world.
00:04:56Why can't true love?
00:04:58I'm Lili, by the way.
00:05:01Lili Collins.
00:05:05Eric Phillips.
00:05:07Nice to meet you, Lili Collins.
00:05:10Damn, he's hot.
00:05:11And I'm in Vegas.
00:05:12I deserve a little fun.
00:05:14Well, Eric Phillips.
00:05:16I'll be in the poker room tonight.
00:05:19Maybe I'll see you there.
00:05:20Maybe.
00:05:27No.
00:05:39Okay, Svensen.
00:05:41Don't fuck this up.
00:05:56Eric motherfucking Svensson
00:05:58Excuse me?
00:05:59You ghost me for three months after sleeping with me
00:06:02And you think you can sit there and act like nothing happened?
00:06:04I think you've got me confused with someone else
00:06:06Don't gaslight me, Svensson
00:06:08I know exactly who you are
00:06:24You know who she is?
00:06:27I think she's got me confused with someone else
00:06:32Thank you
00:06:41You nervous?
00:06:42Not at all
00:06:44You can always fold, you know
00:06:46I'd hate to send you home empty-handed
00:06:50Not a chance
00:06:52I'm here to win
00:06:54You sure?
00:06:56Seems like your focus is somewhere else
00:06:59Oh
00:07:00I am
00:07:01Very focused
00:07:04Are you guys done
00:07:06Making good eyes at each other or what?
00:07:09You're full of shit, Phillips
00:07:11I call
00:07:13Yeah, there is no way that you have this
00:07:15But don't worry
00:07:17I'll let you go another round
00:07:19Once I beat you
00:07:20Actually
00:07:21I think I'm about to hit the jackpot
00:07:26Eric?
00:07:47I have wanted to do that
00:07:48Since I saw you by the pool in your bikini
00:07:51Eric
00:07:52Everyone can see
00:07:54Do you want me to stop?
00:08:10Let's see
00:08:11Let him watch
00:08:13Give him a shower
00:08:25Wait, please don't stop
00:08:28Use your words
00:08:30Tell me what you want
00:08:32I want your tongue inside me
00:08:34Please
00:08:35That's a good girl
00:08:43Eric
00:08:46Wait
00:08:47Wait, I think I'm gonna
00:08:51Was that some kind of vision?
00:08:55No
00:08:56That was from him
00:09:06Lucky son of a bitch
00:09:08Beginner Lux
00:09:09Let's see you do it again next hand
00:09:11No can do
00:09:13I have a date with a
00:09:15Very pretty lady
00:09:22Why do I have the feeling
00:09:23That you're not exactly
00:09:24As you present
00:09:25Eric
00:09:27Philips
00:09:28It is Vegas
00:09:30Isn't that part of the fun?
00:09:44No
00:09:45It wasn't very nice of you
00:09:47To tease me with your strap of your dress during our game
00:09:51It's very distracting
00:09:54Well you know it wasn't very nice of you
00:09:57To send me that little vision during our game
00:10:00I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview
00:10:07Eric, there are people
00:10:13And if you're quiet
00:10:15They won't see you
00:10:18I should stop
00:10:20This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go
00:10:22You know you were right before
00:10:24I'm not who I say I am
00:10:26And who out there is exactly
00:10:28As they present
00:10:29But I am
00:10:31Look, I don't care who you are outside of this
00:10:34For once in my life
00:10:35I
00:10:36I just want to forget about everything
00:10:40Just live in the moment
00:10:42And I think you
00:10:44Can help me do that
00:10:53Remove the camouflage
00:10:54Oh my gosh
00:10:55I want you to see you
00:10:57The real you
00:10:59But then you'll know who I am
00:11:02I already know who you are
00:11:04The real you
00:11:06Wants to let go
00:11:13No one's ever looked at me like that
00:11:15He really wants me
00:11:17The real me
00:11:18Fuck
00:11:19Fuck
00:11:21You are gorgeous
00:11:25I want you, Eric
00:11:28I need you
00:11:32Spread your legs for me
00:11:38Keep your eyes open
00:11:41I want you to watch yourself
00:11:44Come
00:11:44All over my fingers
00:11:50Keep your eyes open
00:11:57I thought you said that they couldn't hear me
00:11:59They can't if you stay quiet
00:12:02Keep your eyes open
00:12:03Or I'll stop
00:12:08That's a good girl
00:12:10Look down at my hand
00:12:15Oh my god
00:12:18They hurt me
00:12:18They can't
00:12:19Just relax
00:12:21I can't
00:12:24Eric
00:12:24It's okay
00:12:26Don't think
00:12:28Just fail
00:12:30Tell me how you feel
00:12:32So good
00:12:33But I need
00:12:35More
00:12:36Eric
00:12:39You feel so good
00:12:41I can't wait
00:12:42To put my mouth on you
00:12:46So I'm going to make you come
00:12:48I'll beat you there
00:12:51I'm going to go down
00:12:52And I want you to scream my name
00:12:54And I'm going to come
00:12:55Five
00:12:57Four
00:12:59Two
00:13:01Two
00:13:05Four
00:13:26I can't believe I just came on his hand
00:13:28In front of other people
00:13:31I think this is your floor
00:13:39I'll be at the fountain tomorrow
00:13:40At eight o'clock
00:13:43If you decide that you want more
00:13:45See you there
00:13:56How does he know what floor I was on?
00:14:03So you've told me all about your wild sister
00:14:06And the things that she's done
00:14:07Mm-hmm
00:14:08What about you?
00:14:10Me?
00:14:12I'm the responsible sister
00:14:15The boring one
00:14:16If you will
00:14:17And
00:14:18I do what I'm supposed to do
00:14:19All the rules and all that good stuff
00:14:23I don't believe you
00:14:24I mean
00:14:25I know how you are
00:14:26At an elevator
00:14:27Oh, come on
00:14:30Come on
00:14:31It's Vegas
00:14:33Let me be your bad influence
00:14:34Just for tonight
00:14:38So
00:14:39Any bad ideas?
00:14:44Just one
00:14:51What are you doing?
00:14:53What are you doing?
00:15:06Mm
00:15:08No games
00:15:10Just fuck me already
00:15:12I thought I would try to woo you first
00:15:14Consider me wooed
00:15:15Then we could take it slow?
00:15:17Well, your lips say one thing
00:15:19But your body says something else
00:15:32Wait
00:15:35Shit
00:15:36I almost lost my cool
00:15:38I gotta remember the plan
00:15:42Oh my god
00:15:43I can't believe I just did that
00:15:44That was so embarrassing
00:15:45This is why I don't do crazy shit
00:15:47That was way too much
00:15:49Hey
00:15:50You're never too much
00:15:51You don't understand, Eric
00:15:53Okay, if my family saw me do any of that
00:15:55They would freak out
00:15:57Tonight's not about your family
00:15:59Tonight's about you
00:15:59Remember?
00:16:01Forget what everyone else has told you to do
00:16:03Do something that you want to do
00:16:05Something no one would expect
00:16:08Maybe he's right
00:16:09I've spent my whole life doing what my family's told me to do
00:16:16For once in my life
00:16:17I'm doing something for myself
00:16:19She spotted the chapel
00:16:22Just like I planned
00:16:26So are you, uh
00:16:28You sure about this marriage thing?
00:16:30It's only temporary
00:16:31Okay, and old magic is weak
00:16:33The handfast bond will probably only last till the morning
00:16:36So?
00:16:37Are you ready for a holy matrimony?
00:16:40I'm ready if you're ready
00:16:43Come on
00:16:47Let's go
00:16:52You nervous?
00:16:55Just
00:16:56Never been married before
00:17:04Uh, it's my sister
00:17:06I need to take this
00:17:06Oh, yeah
00:17:07Take your time
00:17:09Elvis here
00:17:09Wants me to pick out a handfast bouquet
00:17:11Hey, mama
00:17:11Let's get some flowers for you
00:17:12Come on
00:17:13Let's do it
00:17:14You need to come home
00:17:16Now
00:17:16I can't
00:17:18Secret
00:17:18Eric
00:17:18Dad's up to something
00:17:20He invited Fitzgerald to the house
00:17:22And made me dress up
00:17:23He looks at me weird
00:17:24It really freaked me out
00:17:26You were my big brother, E
00:17:27I need you
00:17:28Here
00:17:29Listen, I can't leave right now
00:17:31But I promise
00:17:32When I come home
00:17:33I'll have enough power
00:17:34To get rid of Dad forever
00:17:35Okay?
00:17:38Hey
00:17:41Is everything okay?
00:17:43Yeah
00:17:45Yeah, it's fine
00:17:48You, uh
00:17:49You sure about this?
00:17:52It's only temporary
00:17:54Come on
00:17:54We'll be laughing about this for years
00:18:00Let's go
00:18:15Right
00:18:16Only temporary
00:18:17Unless you get handfasted under a full moon
00:18:20Then the handfast bond is nearly unbreakable
00:18:23But she doesn't know that
00:18:25And once she does
00:18:26She'll hate me
00:18:28Is your sister okay?
00:18:31Is something wrong?
00:18:33Nothing's wrong
00:18:35We're about to get married in Vegas by Ovis
00:18:38What could possibly be wrong?
00:18:40Alright, you ready to rock and roll
00:18:42You hunk-a-hunk-a-hot couple?
00:18:45Let's get this show started
00:18:46Woo!
00:18:47Woo!
00:18:47Woo!
00:19:14This is it
00:19:15I have the Wand of Light
00:19:18The most powerful object in the world
00:19:20If I leave now
00:19:22I could use it to take control away from my father
00:19:24Set secret and eye free
00:19:32But I already betrayed her once
00:19:38Let's get this show to you
00:19:39Let's get this show to you
00:19:39Let's get this show to you
00:19:39Let's get this show to you
00:19:39Let's get this show to you
00:19:41Let's get this show to you
00:19:48Let's get this show to you
00:19:50Let's get this show to you
00:19:50Let's get this show to you
00:19:51Let's get this show to you
00:19:52Let's get this show to you
00:19:53Let's get this show to you
00:19:53Let's get this show to you
00:19:54Let's get this show to you
00:19:55Let's get this show to you
00:19:56Let's get this show to you
00:19:56Let's get this show to you
00:19:57Let's get this show to you
00:19:58Let's get this show to you
00:20:17off to get more chocolate strawberries be back soon
00:20:29it's only temporary okay and old magic is weak that the hand fast bond will
00:20:34probably only last till the morning hmm that's weird the mark should have worn
00:20:39off by now
00:20:49so did you marry the girl yet
00:20:54no it's complicated complicated or distracted you were sent there to marry the sherwood heir
00:21:03and bind her power to this family not to play house you're a svensson act like one eric is
00:21:11a svensson i married my family's worst enemy i don't need you to tell me what i am then stop
00:21:19hesitating if the rumors about the wand of light or truth we might catch an even bigger prize
00:21:25so hurry up and marry the sherwood girl and then bring her to me idiot
00:21:39he's been lying this whole time
00:21:46i need to tell her the truth
00:21:50you lying piece of cruel shit you didn't want me you just wanted the fucking wand didn't you
00:21:58i didn't even know the wand existed until i met you you still lied to me eric you knew i
00:22:03was a
00:22:03sherwood from the start that's why you gave me a fake fucking name right okay i did but that was
00:22:08why before before you decided to mess with me get your dick wet before you ruin me and my family
00:22:13forever i'm not trying to ruin your family i'm trying to save mine
00:22:16i know all about you spinsons all you do is lie and cheat and steal to get whatever you fucking
00:22:24want
00:22:24i should have caught it at the poker table but your little tricks won't work on me this time
00:22:29the hand fast mark it'll fade just like you just like whatever this was
00:22:35the hand fast wasn't a trick not that part not with you
00:22:39it doesn't matter eric you will never ever get the wand
00:22:45lily what
00:22:48when this fades eric i will never have to see you again
00:23:06so that didn't happen
00:23:10my older sister effie told me that the mark would fade a week later
00:23:13then a month went by
00:23:16then
00:23:17well
00:23:22see this is where you don't fuck with old magic
00:23:25it's all fun and games so there's a full moon
00:23:27then it's the most powerful magic in the universe
00:23:35apparently getting hand fast married under a full moon creates a bond that's almost unbreakable
00:23:42also apparently the almost part means that both people have to perform the divorce spell
00:23:49i tried calling
00:23:51texting
00:23:52sending flying monkeys
00:23:54nothing
00:23:55not a single word
00:23:57from my beloved husband
00:23:59for half a year
00:24:10yes i still sleep with a wand under my pillow
00:24:12the emotional ass whooping i got from my mother for getting hand fasted to a stranger
00:24:17was bad enough
00:24:19no one can ever find out that i almost lost the wand too
00:24:23i just need one night
00:24:25to sleep without
00:24:28thinking about him
00:24:52who are you
00:24:53what do you want with the wand of light
00:24:56nothing
00:24:56i'm just here to collect my payday from my client once i bring them that wand
00:25:02payday
00:25:03someone sent you
00:25:04who
00:25:05afraid i can't break client confidentiality
00:25:08sorry sweetie
00:25:10well i'm afraid that you chose the wrong witch to fuck with tonight
00:25:27be wise not to fight back witch
00:25:29you're in over your head
00:25:31i'd rather die than let you take the wand
00:25:36suit yourself
00:25:41suit yourself
00:25:50what the fuck
00:26:05get off me she has the wand
00:26:08i got the wand
00:26:10i'll get the rest later
00:26:14no
00:26:18you are the reason i lost the wand
00:26:20who are you
00:26:26the hand fast mark
00:26:31hello wife
00:26:33miss me
00:26:36what are you doing here
00:26:38oh well you know i thought i'd spice up our marriage
00:26:41do a little role playing but it looks like
00:26:42you're more into bondage
00:26:44i didn't know you were so kinky
00:26:45shut up
00:26:50you should be thanking me i did just save your life
00:26:52thanking you
00:26:53you're the reason my family's most powerful heirloom is gone
00:26:57how did you even find me
00:26:58how did you even find me
00:27:00wait a minute
00:27:01you were trying to steal the wand too
00:27:03weren't you
00:27:04maybe
00:27:34dad doesn't know about our marriage
00:27:36not yet but he knows about the wand if he gets a hold of it he's gonna sell it to
00:27:40the highest bidder
00:27:40whoever controls the wand has the power to take over the world
00:27:43or worse
00:27:44no
00:27:45worse than tricking me into marrying you
00:27:47i told you
00:27:48i told you that that wasn't a trick
00:27:49it doesn't matter eric
00:27:51she has the wand that shadow thief or whatever
00:27:55and that's your fault
00:27:56i can get it back
00:27:59look i know i don't deserve it
00:28:01but just give me one more chance
00:28:04i can get the wand back
00:28:05take care of what i need to take care of
00:28:07and then i'll do the divorce spell
00:28:09please lili just give me one more chance
00:28:11please
00:28:13i can't trust him
00:28:14i shouldn't
00:28:17but my gut tells me
00:28:19this time
00:28:20it might be different
00:28:27no
00:28:29no we're both gonna go get it
00:28:31it is my job as a sherwood heir
00:28:34to set things right
00:28:35so i don't let the wand fall into the wrong hands
00:28:38and you really think after vegas i would let you go alone
00:28:41to find the most powerful magical object in the entire world
00:28:46fair uh whatever you want
00:28:48lili
00:28:49god i hate when you call me that
00:28:52all right i'll call you wife
00:28:54and you can call me whatever you want
00:28:57eric
00:28:57husband
00:28:59daddy
00:28:59shut up
00:29:00don't call me wife either
00:29:02after we get this wand
00:29:03we will do the divorce spell
00:29:04got it
00:29:05you're breaking my heart
00:29:06i mean
00:29:07you're the better half of my soul
00:29:10yeah
00:29:10you're not gonna speak talk your way into my pants again
00:29:12eric
00:29:14we'll see
00:29:19now the wand forbids a direct tracking spell so we have to track its trail
00:29:24that's a ten mile radius we'll never find the wand inside that circle
00:29:28well with the tracking spell i get a location okay
00:29:31it doesn't last long though
00:29:33we'll have like three or four days
00:29:35well lucky for you
00:29:36i already packed your bags
00:29:39consider it our official honeymoon
00:29:46ajah this we're done
00:29:47you got it
00:29:48don't go back on your words fenson
00:29:49we will do the divorce spell
00:29:51cross my heart
00:29:53hope to die
00:30:12you imagicked a car here
00:30:14this isn't just any car
00:30:22this is bessie
00:30:24you really expect us to track down the most powerful magical object in the world
00:30:29in a car without a roof
00:30:32i mean
00:30:33if you're not comfortable
00:30:37i could go by myself
00:30:40if you trust me not to run away
00:30:44i wouldn't trust you with a half-eaten newt muffin
00:30:46i was gonna throw in the trash
00:30:50then your chariot awaits
00:30:52wife
00:31:12well you've been driving all day and she hasn't said a single word
00:31:28you're svensson
00:31:29you don't play house with sheriffs
00:31:31why are we turning
00:31:32we don't have any time
00:31:34we have to find the wand eric
00:31:36that circle is getting further and further away
00:31:39plus it's getting dark
00:31:40we need to stay somewhere for the night
00:31:41why don't you just let me drive
00:31:43because you haven't slept either
00:31:45plus no one can drive bessie but me
00:31:48what is with guys and cars
00:31:50jesus
00:31:51no i mean literally no one else can drive bessie
00:31:54my great-great-grandfather put a hex on all of our possessions
00:31:57anyone that's non-blood related
00:32:00can't touch it
00:32:00the svensson's like to hoard their treasures
00:32:03your family has issues
00:32:05finally
00:32:06something we can agree on
00:32:08was this your plan all along?
00:32:10make me feel bad for you
00:32:11because your family's evil
00:32:13so i get all ooey gooey
00:32:14and forget about the divorce
00:32:16not everyone in my family is evil
00:32:19yeah
00:32:19okay
00:32:33you cross this wall
00:32:34or do anything to piss me off
00:32:35more than you already have
00:32:37then you do not even want to imagine
00:32:39the hex i'm gonna put on you
00:32:46i promise
00:32:46no funny business
00:32:49peaky promise
00:33:10goodnight to you two
00:33:25in vegas
00:33:28you said you had a sister
00:33:29right?
00:33:32yeah
00:33:32segred
00:33:36she didn't ask to be a svensson
00:33:38she's different than us
00:33:41better
00:33:42not like you?
00:33:44no
00:33:46not like me
00:33:47but you already know that
00:33:49and i did not want to be a svensson
00:34:19and i want to get the renovations
00:34:40Good morning, wife.
00:34:43I told you not to call me.
00:35:01You were saying something?
00:35:04What?
00:35:08How did you know I was awake?
00:35:10The husband always knows.
00:35:12Hmm.
00:35:19Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to shower.
00:35:24No peeking.
00:35:30Crossed my heart.
00:35:32Hope to die.
00:35:40I need to get a grip.
00:35:42Some washboard ads and a cocky grin aren't enough to make me fall for him.
00:35:47I just need this one time to take the edge off.
00:35:59I remember he touched me like this in Vegas.
00:36:15Look, I'm so close.
00:36:22That's it, Lily.
00:36:25Be a good girl.
00:36:27And go for me.
00:36:34Are you ready?
00:36:38Okay.
00:36:40Eric.
00:36:42Eric.
00:36:44Eric.
00:36:46Eric.
00:36:46Eric.
00:36:46Eric.
00:36:55You said that you wouldn't look.
00:36:59I don't need to look to know what you were doing while thinking about me.
00:37:04God, you are so full of yourself.
00:37:07Do I know what I heard?
00:37:09Say another word and I'll turn you into a frog.
00:37:14What are you thinking about that time in Vegas where I ate you out in the shower and you came
00:37:22so hard you almost crushed my skull between your thighs?
00:37:26I think about those times a lot.
00:37:29Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all.
00:37:56You still haven't even told me what you want the wand for yet.
00:38:00It's on a need-to-know basis.
00:38:02Oh, don't you think I need to know?
00:38:06I am your wife after all.
00:38:08Oh, now you remember you're my wife.
00:38:10Funny how you only remember that when it's convenient for you.
00:38:13I remember every time I think about how badly I fucked up in Vegas.
00:38:16So all I am is a mistake.
00:38:18If I remember right, you're the one that suggested that we get handfast married.
00:38:22Obviously that was before I knew about all your bullshit and lies.
00:38:26Duty and responsibility might not be a big deal in your family, but in mine, it's huge.
00:38:32See?
00:38:32There you go again.
00:38:33Always worried about what your family wants.
00:38:35It's never about what you want.
00:38:37I follow the rules because I have to, Eric.
00:38:40If I don't, I end up in situations like this.
00:38:43Did you ever stop to think that maybe that's unfair?
00:38:46That maybe your ideas and their ideas are bullshit?
00:38:50You ever think of that?
00:38:52Spoken like a true Spinson.
00:38:53Well, you're a Spinson too, sweetheart.
00:38:56Not much longer, I can tell you that.
00:39:17I'm going to get some coffee.
00:39:18It's getting dark.
00:39:19You really think you should be alone?
00:39:20So now that we're married, you think you have to babysit me too?
00:39:27Fine, just don't take too long.
00:39:32You got her in the car or what?
00:39:35Who?
00:39:36Don't play done with me, boy.
00:39:38The little Sherwood witch you married forgot to tell me about.
00:39:44You thought I wouldn't find out, huh?
00:39:46You did a good job of hiding it, I'll give you that.
00:39:49Maybe you are my son after all, huh?
00:39:51What's the end game here?
00:39:53You said you just needed to get the Sherwood's wand so you could pay off your debts.
00:39:56What does she have to do with it?
00:39:58Because I'm not an idiot like you.
00:40:00I'll finally have all the leverage I need over the Sherwood family.
00:40:05When I tell them their pretty little heir is my new daughter-in-law.
00:40:09And then it'll be our family that gets to call the shots in the magic world.
00:40:13So you just want to use her?
00:40:15Like you use mom?
00:40:17Like you're using your own daughter.
00:40:18This is not a request, boy.
00:40:21Bring the girl and the wand to me or you will be stripped of your name.
00:40:25Your magic, everything.
00:40:27And your sister, she'll be the one paying the price for your mistakes.
00:40:41This isn't right.
00:40:42The trail should still be here.
00:40:45Would you like some coffee, Miss Sherwood?
00:40:47Yeah, thank you.
00:40:49Wait, how did you know my...
00:40:51You.
00:40:55But the map said that...
00:40:57That's cute.
00:40:59You think that dusty old map could track me?
00:41:07That wombs is mine.
00:41:11Not anymore, it's not.
00:41:13And sadly, my employers need your powers, too.
00:41:16Employer?
00:41:20Still, this will only hurt a bit.
00:41:22No, stop!
00:41:23Stop!
00:41:32Get away from her!
00:41:38Eric, the wand!
00:41:51My magic.
00:41:53She took half of my magic, Eric!
00:41:55You're okay.
00:41:55I got you.
00:41:57You're okay.
00:41:59You're okay.
00:42:01I don't understand.
00:42:02The map said that the wand was miles away.
00:42:05What did she want with my powers?
00:42:07The thief must have found some way to bypass the tracking spell.
00:42:10She can have gone far.
00:42:11We'll find her.
00:42:12Lay low for now.
00:42:14Eric, stop the car.
00:42:15I can't breathe.
00:42:17Okay.
00:42:26Hey, hey, hey.
00:42:28Look at me.
00:42:29Look at me.
00:42:29You're okay.
00:42:30You're okay.
00:42:31Just breathe.
00:42:32I got you.
00:42:33You're safe.
00:42:35I thought she was going to kill me, Eric.
00:42:38I'm not going to let that happen.
00:42:40Not while I'm breathing.
00:42:54I still hate you.
00:42:58If you hated me, you wouldn't let me touch you like this.
00:43:03This doesn't change anything.
00:43:05It's only scratching an itch.
00:43:08Once we get the wand, and we do the divorce spell, and we forget each other existed.
00:43:18Is that what you want, Lily?
00:43:20You want to forget how good I make you feel?
00:43:23You want to forget I'm the only person in the whole fucking world who can make you feel this way?
00:43:33Eric.
00:43:36Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:43:45We can't do this.
00:43:48This is what goes wrong between us.
00:43:50We can't make that mistake again.
00:43:52We have a job to do, Eric.
00:43:54Let's get the wand.
00:43:55That's it.
00:43:56And then what?
00:43:58You know what happens after, Eric.
00:44:01We do the divorce spell, and we never see each other again.
00:44:05We can't do the divorce spell.
00:44:07We can't do it.
00:44:11No.
00:44:13No.
00:44:22No.
00:44:25No.
00:44:36It smells like fresh baked pastries, cinnamon, old magic.
00:44:46I should have known.
00:44:48It's a Seder's Inn.
00:44:50That smell.
00:44:52The Norman Inhabitus smell.
00:44:54It's woven into places like this for couples.
00:44:59You mean or cheese?
00:45:02Seder's are the horniest bastards in the long world.
00:45:06It lowers any fear, doubt, shame, grancy or deepest desires.
00:45:14Without any fear of judgment or consequences.
00:45:26Here I don't.
00:45:28I'm trying not to.
00:45:39Here I don't.
00:45:41I'm trying not to.
00:45:48The spell doesn't create desire.
00:45:52It lets go of the lies.
00:45:55It tells us what we really want.
00:45:57What I want doesn't matter.
00:45:59It matters in here.
00:46:02Tell me what you really want.
00:46:04You can say goodbye.
00:46:07Let go our separate ways.
00:46:09Or you can tell me you want this.
00:46:12You want me.
00:46:15Tell me to stay.
00:46:19Stay here.
00:46:21Please.
00:46:23God, what is this?
00:46:25Is this just the magic?
00:46:30It's not the spell.
00:46:32It's freedom.
00:46:34You can hear the outside world.
00:46:36It doesn't matter.
00:46:37Just you.
00:46:39And me.
00:46:41I shouldn't want this.
00:46:44I know.
00:46:46I shouldn't be doing this.
00:46:50Or this.
00:46:53To be able to share with.
00:46:55To the most respected family of the whole rich world.
00:46:59You definitely shouldn't sound this fucking sexy.
00:47:02To mind.
00:47:05You're with the ear.
00:47:07To the Sherwood family.
00:47:10Who are you?
00:47:12I want you, Eric.
00:47:14I need you.
00:47:18Tell me who you are.
00:47:21Lily.
00:47:23Close.
00:47:27But not close.
00:47:29Tonight.
00:47:31Tell me who you are.
00:47:33Your wife.
00:47:59This doesn't change anything.
00:48:01I know.
00:48:02We can have tonight.
00:48:04And then tomorrow we go back to who we are on the outside.
00:48:07Sure.
00:48:08I'll go back to being my bad self.
00:48:10And you can go back to pretending to be a good little witch.
00:48:14Excuse me.
00:48:15Don't deny.
00:48:17Lily, Sherwood, Svenson.
00:48:18I know I'm kind of dork.
00:48:21I know I'm kind of dork.
00:48:21I know I'm kind of dork.
00:48:22I know I'm kind of dork.
00:48:23I don't.
00:48:26It's okay to be bad.
00:48:28You don't have to pretend.
00:48:32I don't, huh?
00:48:37You know, just because I have half my magic doesn't mean I can't play it with you for tonight.
00:48:53Now you're going to sit there like a good little witch.
00:49:04And I'm going to do whatever I want to you.
00:49:16I don't remember packing that lingerie.
00:49:18Close your eyes.
00:49:22Eric, you're so good for being such a bad boy.
00:49:29I'm being properly motivated not to move.
00:49:36See how long it takes you to break.
00:49:39For you, I could stay here forever.
00:49:41Pretty to think so.
00:49:43Why don't we test that little theory, huh?
00:49:46We're playing a dangerous game.
00:49:49All you have to do is admit that I win.
00:49:55I'll let you fuck me.
00:49:56I'll even let you come wherever you want.
00:50:03You can come here.
00:50:07Or here.
00:50:10I'll even let you come in here.
00:50:15God.
00:50:17Come on.
00:50:18Man, I know you wanna.
00:50:20Just admit I'm right.
00:50:25Fine.
00:50:27You win.
00:50:28Oh, what was that?
00:50:30You hurt me.
00:50:32Oh.
00:50:40So what's my prize?
00:50:45I could torture you like you did me.
00:50:50But I want to be inside you.
00:50:53I want to feel you squeeze me tight.
00:50:56And take me to bed, husband.
00:51:01Call me that again.
00:51:05You want me to fuck you, husband?
00:51:08Yeah.
00:51:09Fuck me.
00:51:18Tell me a story.
00:51:21Like the ones you did in Vegas.
00:51:24I've got a story about my pet goat, Gilmore, and how he got stuck on a magic carpet.
00:51:31Or the story about how my sister tried to negotiate with a troll using only red images.
00:51:38I don't know.
00:51:40I already know about your family.
00:51:44I want to know about you.
00:51:47What's it like to be a Svensson heir?
00:51:50You want the insider info.
00:51:52Mm.
00:51:53Mm.
00:51:54You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.
00:51:56You're gonna tell me how wonderful it was growing up as a beloved and blessed Sherwood?
00:52:05Is that what you think being a Sherwood is like?
00:52:09Is that what you think being a Sherwood is like?
00:52:11All fun and rainbows?
00:52:13Yeah, everybody loves your family.
00:52:15That's not true, Eric.
00:52:17There are so many people who would love it if we just disappeared.
00:52:21My mother has been shouldering all that responsibility and pressure for decades.
00:52:25And next year, I will be the head witch in charge.
00:52:29Everyone's counting on me to do the right thing.
00:52:31Like eat your fruits and veggies?
00:52:33Like spending my whole childhood being told that the whole world depended on me.
00:52:39Like never bothering to have any hopes or dreams because my whole life was planned for me from the very
00:52:46start before I was even born.
00:52:48I'm always doing the right thing for the family.
00:52:50I was never allowed to even think of doing the wrong thing.
00:52:54I couldn't be tired.
00:52:55I couldn't be scared.
00:52:56I couldn't be angry.
00:52:58One mistake and my family loses everything that they've ever worked for.
00:53:02If this whole world fades to black, it's because I messed up.
00:53:06It's because I didn't do a good job.
00:53:11I don't think I've ever said that out loud before.
00:53:14I'm glad you did.
00:53:17Your turn.
00:53:19Growing up, Svensson was a little different.
00:53:23The old man likes to say I was the first of his disappointments.
00:53:28I guess it's good.
00:53:30At least I was first in something.
00:53:33I didn't care about disappointing him.
00:53:36I just wanted to get away from him.
00:53:38I had it all planned out when I turned 16.
00:53:42I'd leave, change my name, and the Svensson bloodline would die with me.
00:53:46My mom died when Secret was born.
00:53:51My dad used her against me every day since.
00:54:00I'm so sorry, Eric.
00:54:02Eric, I shouldn't have asked.
00:54:06It's okay.
00:54:08Svensson's have always lived in the Sherwood shadows.
00:54:12We are the shadows.
00:54:16All you do is shine.
00:54:27You always ask me what I want.
00:54:31What do you want, Eric?
00:54:36You'd hate me if I told you.
00:54:39I mean, more than you already do.
00:54:43I don't hate you.
00:54:46I never did.
00:54:50You're the is.
00:55:16I don't know.
00:55:23Eric, something's wrong.
00:55:24Dad's got visitors.
00:55:26A bunch of old guys.
00:55:28I don't know who they are.
00:55:29He made me play piano for them, like some kind of dress up doll.
00:55:32It's like freaking me out.
00:55:39Eric.
00:55:40Are you safe?
00:55:46Eric.
00:55:47Are you safe?
00:55:48For now.
00:55:49All those weird old men lived last night.
00:55:53And I hexed my door so no one could get in.
00:55:56Don't let anyone in.
00:55:57If Dad tries to get you to play with any of those weird old men, just...
00:55:59I know.
00:56:01I'll just do what he says.
00:56:04I always do.
00:56:05I'm so sick of this E.
00:56:07What if he actually does make me marry one of those guys?
00:56:10I'm never going to let that happen, all right?
00:56:13Look, I'm close to getting the wand of life.
00:56:16The wand of light?
00:56:18Like, the one from the fairy tales?
00:56:21You can't tell Dad's secret.
00:56:24When I get the wand, be ready for my call.
00:56:27I have a plan.
00:56:29I barely know basic spells.
00:56:32I don't know.
00:56:33You can.
00:56:34I know you can.
00:56:36When the time is right, you'll be ready.
00:56:44Call and it.
00:57:05Filling up Bessie, meet me downstairs when you're ready.
00:57:17Oh my god! Why do you and mom always do that? A bit high strung, aren't you, sis? I was
00:57:26just in the middle of thinking.
00:57:27Yeah, and going by your aura, I can guess about who. Very much giving post-orgasmic afterglow.
00:57:34Aww, yeah, well you and your little aura reading can go jump in a lake.
00:57:37Oh, aren't we feisty this morning? Your super hot hubby isn't around, I'm guessing? Or have you already murdered him
00:57:44after catching his dick?
00:57:45I know all the best places to hide a body, by the way.
00:57:49I'm Pauline Effie. I know all about Eric Spenson. I'm not stupid. And when we get the wand back-
00:57:56You mean if you get the wand back?
00:57:59We will. And when we do, we'll do the divorce spell. This mark will be gone.
00:58:06I'll go home and marry the best person who serves our family alliance.
00:58:14It's not fair, you know. I know I'm the last person who should be saying that, because it's not like
00:58:19I can change it. But it's not.
00:58:23It's just the way it goes, right? There has to be a way for you to be with who you
00:58:28actually want and be a good heir.
00:58:32Effie, what I want has nothing to do with anything in my life. That's fine. It's what it means to
00:58:39be a Sherwood.
00:58:40Just remember, repeating it doesn't make it true.
00:58:46All right. Whatever you say, sis. You know best.
00:58:51I know. Give everyone a hug from me. Tell them I'll be back home soon.
00:59:06Last night was the last time. After today, we're done. If I say that enough times, maybe I'll finally believe
00:59:14it.
00:59:23I'll tell you about my plan with the wand. My family's magic is dying. My father's been cashing in on
00:59:31broken promises for years.
00:59:33But he holds most of the power. And me and Sieg, we just get the scraps. That's how he controls
00:59:37us.
00:59:40If I could use the wand just once, I could take his power away from it.
00:59:45I'm not trying to ruin your family. I'm trying to save mine. It's the only way that we can be
00:59:49free.
00:59:52That's what you meant by trying to save your family.
00:59:56I was going to tell you the night before. I was going to tell you the truth.
00:59:59And then I was just going to ask if I could use the wand just once.
01:00:03And then I would do whatever you wanted. Get a divorce. Leave you alone forever.
01:00:10Why didn't you tell me?
01:00:13Why didn't you tell me that morning? Maybe things could have been different.
01:00:19I would have asked you to stay.
01:00:21It's a nice idea.
01:00:23But our families have been at war since the beginning of time.
01:00:28Maybe if we were different people.
01:00:30We have different lives.
01:00:33This would have worked.
01:00:35Maybe we can hope.
01:00:37Maybe the wand has a spell for that, Eric.
01:00:41A witch can hope.
01:00:48What?
01:00:51Do I have mushrooms growing out of the side of my head?
01:00:53Why are you looking at me like that?
01:01:07Wait, I'm driving.
01:01:09Pull over.
01:01:28You have got to be kidding me.
01:01:31You have got to be kidding me.
01:01:36End of the line, witches!
01:01:43What?
01:01:47No!
01:01:51No!
01:02:00Eric!
01:02:15Oh
01:02:26Now's not a good time old man. Well, it sounds like my insurance policy worked
01:02:31You, you said the shadow thief? Of course I said her. Do you think I would trust you to finish
01:02:38the job?
01:02:50Demons are very expensive, you know, but
01:02:55I thought that the Sherwood girl's soul in exchange for the wand was a good enough bargain
01:03:02Souls of magic users apparently taste better
01:03:17You said you needed her alive the Sherwoods will never pay off your debts if you kill their heir
01:03:20I've reconsidered once I have that wand I will be the most powerful witch alive
01:03:27Debts won't matter. The stupid Sherwoods won't matter and that's for the girl. Well, I don't need her breathing to
01:03:35use her power
01:03:36I can always marry Sigrid off to form new alliances
01:03:40Guess you won't be trapped in a marriage after all son. You're welcome
01:03:49Go to hell home, man
01:04:05I can take dad's magic into him finally be free
01:04:23Get off my wife
01:04:32You'll pay for that witch
01:04:45This isn't the last you'll see of me
01:04:53Hey, I've got you
01:04:55You didn't run
01:04:57You're kidding? I'd be a pretty shitty husband if I let my wife's soul get sucked out by a demon
01:05:05Eric
01:05:05You can't get rid of me that easily
01:05:08No, no, no, no, no, stay with me
01:05:10Eric
01:05:10Oh my God
01:05:13Eric, no, no, no, no, stay with me
01:05:15Oh my God
01:05:17I can't save you
01:05:19I can't save you, I don't have my powers
01:05:21I need you to run
01:05:23You could have saved yourself
01:05:26I've been saving myself
01:05:28My whole life
01:05:29I thought I'd try something new
01:05:32I'm an idiot
01:05:34You stupid, stupid idiot
01:05:37Yeah
01:05:40But I'm your idiot
01:05:48You took a divorce spell
01:05:50I had a promise
01:05:52Now you're free
01:05:56I don't want to be free
01:06:00I don't want to be free
01:06:03I don't want to be with you
01:06:05Just keep secrets safe
01:06:07Safe from my father
01:06:09Safe from all of it
01:06:13You know
01:06:13You know
01:06:14Those days in Vegas
01:06:17We're the best three days of my life
01:06:19Alright, let's get this show started, okay?
01:06:25I love you
01:06:27I love you too
01:06:30I love you, I love you
01:06:33Eric
01:06:36No
01:06:36No
01:06:58The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires
01:07:08Please
01:07:09Please, please
01:07:18Eric
01:07:20Please
01:07:30Lily
01:07:31Lily
01:07:32Eric
01:07:33Eric
01:07:35You absolute moron
01:07:40You absolute moron
01:07:42Be gentle
01:07:43I was dead for like 10 seconds
01:07:46You're alive
01:07:49That is for divorcing me on your literal deathbed, you asshole
01:07:53I thought I was doing something noble
01:07:55Something cool
01:07:57The wand give you your power back?
01:08:00My mom used to say that the wands user grants it its deepest desire
01:08:04I guess it knew what I really wanted
01:08:08What did you want?
01:08:11You
01:08:14Don't scare me like that again, okay?
01:08:17You know
01:08:19I thought I heard something
01:08:22But I was bleeding out
01:08:27Maybe you could say it again
01:08:32Maybe you could say it again
01:08:36Maybe you could say it again
01:08:48Let's go
01:09:01Let's go
01:09:01You ready for one last stop?
01:09:25Ah, there you are.
01:09:27I knew I could always trust a demon to get the job done.
01:09:32Now, where is my wand?
01:09:36Wait, you're supposed to be dead.
01:09:38Wow, you weren't kidding.
01:09:40He really is evil.
01:09:42I put a barrier around this whole house.
01:09:45It's impossible.
01:09:46There's no way you should be able to be in here.
01:09:47There's always a loophole, old man.
01:09:53Secret, you ungrateful brat.
01:09:56How dare you betray me like this?
01:09:58Really, Dad?
01:09:59Playing the family card after you almost sold me into child marriage?
01:10:03You ungrateful little pests!
01:10:12You're powerless now, old man.
01:10:14Your magic's gone.
01:10:15Forever.
01:10:29Eric, Otis, Svensson, release me this instant!
01:10:34That is an order!
01:10:36You can handle it from here, right?
01:10:39His powers are gone.
01:10:40It doesn't scare me anymore.
01:10:43You ungrateful little brats.
01:10:45Both of you will pay for this!
01:10:47You will both pay for this!
01:10:52Yeah, yeah.
01:10:53Talk soon, Pops.
01:10:55We're gonna hit the road.
01:10:56I said get back here.
01:10:57I said get back here!
01:10:59I said get back here!
01:11:00Get back here!
01:11:01Please don't do this, you little bitch!
01:11:16I said get back here!
01:11:19So, where to now?
01:11:22Should we go and drop off the Wand of Light?
01:11:25Yeah.
01:11:27But there's something I want to do first.
01:11:30That sounds ominous.
01:11:32It just so happens that there's another full moon tonight.
01:11:37Leona Sherwood, are you asking me to hand fast marry you?
01:11:43Yeah.
01:11:45I think I am Eric Svensson.
01:11:47Well, we better hurry.
01:11:49We're gonna take the Wand of Light home and make it back in time to the hunk-a-hunk-a
01:11:53wedding chapel of love.
01:11:55I wonder if they have the same Elvis.
01:11:56I sure hope so.
01:11:58But, if we're gonna get hand fast married again, no more secrets this time.
01:12:03So, is there anything you want to come clean about now?
01:12:07Soon to be again husband?
01:12:10There is one thing.
01:12:14You might want to buckle up.
01:12:16We're about to go super speed.
01:12:18Bessie could have been going super speed this entire time.
01:12:21You didn't tell me to make our trip last longer.
01:12:24Didn't you?
01:12:25You know me so well.
01:12:27Soon to be again wife.
01:12:30Leona Sherwood, will you marry me?
01:12:34And not because of some spell or because it's your duty.
01:12:39But because you want to.
01:12:43Yes, I will.
01:12:54Ready?
01:12:56Hell yeah.
01:12:56No, there.
01:13:00Not even the other.
01:13:02As for me.
01:13:03No!
01:13:04No.
01:13:05No!
01:13:07You know so well that's the other thing?
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