00:08to secure an early retirement i joined a secret surrogacy program to carry a test tube baby for
00:13a mysterious client i'm warning you again absolute confidentiality about the president's identity
00:19not a single word otherwise you won't live to see another sunrise
00:32mr president
00:38eyes on me
00:45take your clothes off
00:52three years by his side taking down his enemies handling the press
00:57i'm the one who deserves to stand next to him
01:00the first one to bear my heir becomes the first lady
01:16not long after the other women in the surrogacy program started getting pregnant one by one
01:21i was the last one to find out i was pregnant
01:24once i have this baby i'll take the money and go first lady nah that's not in the cards for
01:29me
01:30nurse doctor surrogate number one just had her baby it's a boy
01:35leah guess that locks up the first lady spot for her
01:37the second the president saw the kid he had her and the baby kicked out
01:40said the baby she had was some other guy's bastard
01:42wait she actually hooked up with someone else during the surrogacy program
01:45i thought it was just number one being crazy enough to try it
01:48but then one by one the other women had their babies the president took one look at each who
01:52knew they weren't his every last one of them got kicked out take your bastard and get lost
01:56sorry mr president just give me another chance i swear i can give you a child
01:59before i knew it it was the day i went into labor
02:04come on push give it everything baby's almost here
02:14one last push come on you can do it the baby's here a healthy baby
02:26what's wrong
02:30what the hell i just gave birth to dog pups
02:34how does a woman give birth to dogs oh no this is bad the president won't even need a test
02:41no just one look and he'll know this isn't his i'm definitely getting kicked out now and the money gone
02:51what's going on here
03:04what should i do what should i do
03:14where's my baby
03:20tell me where is my child mr president i'm so sorry i let you down sorry for what i lied
03:28i
03:30i i wasn't pregnant that wasn't a baby coming out that was that was a massive toxic waste level crap
03:37one whiff and the guy dropped like a fly
03:42a fake pregnancy so you mean my whole medical team can't tell if a woman's pregnant or not
03:47that's because i was so desperate to get pregnant with your baby i took all kinds of hormone shots and
03:51it it made me look pregnant today today i just ate too much and had to go
03:58what was that sound
04:06mr president you should stay back i just went it's pretty rank so i skipped a budget hearing and a
04:13national security council meeting and waited two hours here just for you to take a crap
04:19mr president i really didn't mean for this to happen just give me more time i promise i'll get
04:25pregnant with your baby i won't waste my sperm on you anymore but what about the surrogacy money after
04:32playing me like this you'll work as a cleaner in the white house until you've paid off your debt
04:37what
04:40no money and now i'm stuck working for free what a joke you two little troublemakers you totally
04:47screwed me if it weren't for you who knows maybe i'd be first lady now
04:57okay that doesn't sound like any dog i've ever heard eh whatever but hey you're mine right
05:05you guys hungry
05:17wait you you don't want to nurse do you all right fine breastfeeding a couple of dogs i guess that's
05:26just what happens when you're their mom drink up
05:36now that's what i call my kids already drinking in style you two are going places
05:42looks like mom's retirement plan is riding on you little fur balls now
05:47what the hell i mean i was definitely implanted with the president's sperm
05:52so how the hell did i end up with puppies
05:56whose dog is this you hurt hey easy now i won't bite wow i've never seen a dog as big
06:04as you before
06:07could it be him nah i'm definitely going crazy
06:18mommy hug
06:22we're the puppies how do puppies just turn into kids and they're already big and can talk
06:26what kind of freak show did i give birth to mommy
06:30their cheeks are soft and warm feels just like regular kids
06:36mommy hugs okay okay mommy's good babies
06:42puppy kids whatever you're mine and that's all that matters
06:48those two little monsters eat more every day this might just last them one day
06:53what they're not feeding you enough at the white house i i just don't want to waste anything you're
06:58always talking about saving food so i'm supporting you just focus on paying off your debt don't
07:03try anything cute i i get it
07:13bro do you think mom will be mad that we snucked out mom worked so hard for us we got
07:18to get her a gift
07:19i think i smell dad
07:21Wait!
07:24Hang on!
07:29I am so sad.
07:29I'm so sad.
07:31I'm so sad.
07:35I am so sad.
07:39I'm so sad.
07:41I am so sad.
07:43I am so sad.
07:46I love it.
07:47Hello.
07:49Hi!
07:52Hello?
08:08Stop right there.
08:10Mrs. Olivia.
08:12So, a small-town girl with a high school diploma who can't even tell which fork to use, what makes
08:18you think you're qualified?
08:21Quick-qualified? What makes you deserve to stand by his side?
08:25It took me three years to get where I am.
08:27Three years of crisis, of staying up with him through countless nights, and you?
08:30You just lay around for a few months, spread your legs, and that's it?
08:33I never thought of it that way.
08:36Remember your place, janitor.
08:38Once your debt is paid, get the hell out of the White House.
08:42Mrs. Olivia, classified documents are missing from the Oval Office.
08:45What?
08:48Which thief has the guts to steal from the presidential office?
08:51Hey, babies, Mommy's home.
08:55Mommy!
08:56We got you a present.
08:58A present?
08:59What kind of present could you two little rascals have for me?
09:05For you, Mommy.
09:08Mommy!
09:10Here, take this.
09:13The presidential seal?
09:14The nuclear button briefcase?
09:16No, no!
09:23So you two are the crazy little thieves?
09:26How could you steal this stuff?
09:29We were just looking for food for Mommy.
09:32We found it in some room.
09:34This ring is so pretty, Mommy.
09:35You should wear it.
09:37Oh, no, oh, no.
09:39We are so screwed.
09:41Code red.
09:42Locked in the White House.
09:43Search every room.
09:44Not one corner gets missed.
09:46Oh, my God.
09:47If the president finds out it was these two pups who stole it, we're done for.
09:52Mr. President, we've searched every other room in the White House.
09:54This is the last one the maid's quarters.
09:56Open the door.
10:03There they are!
10:05Right here!
10:07Oh, my God.
10:08Caught red-handed.
10:09I'm definitely going to jail.
10:11Leah Cole, why are my presidential seal and the nuclear bulletin briefcase in your room?
10:16Mr. President, I...
10:18I don't know anything.
10:20I went to work early this morning, and when I got back, these things were just...
10:24Here.
10:25It must be the real thief.
10:26They probably realized they couldn't get out of the White House, so they dumped the
10:29stuff in my room to throw everyone off or set me up.
10:32That lie is full of holes.
10:34Your room is so remote.
10:35Which thief would just happen to come here?
10:38You're obviously the one who stole it, you little lying bitch!
10:41Just tell the truth already!
10:42Ma'am, look at me.
10:43I'm just someone who cleans here.
10:44Why would I steal something like that?
10:46I've got no motive.
10:46Mr. President, don't forget, this woman already faked a pregnancy and lied to you.
10:51When she got caught, she held a grudge.
10:54I wouldn't be surprised if she's been bought off by your political enemies.
10:56That's why she stole the presidential seal and the nuclear button briefcase to set you
11:00up and destroy your reputation.
11:02Tell me, who put you up to this?
11:04Was it that wig-wearing senator next door?
11:06I swear, I didn't!
11:09Mr. President, this woman is too calculating.
11:11Keeping her around you is a ticking time bomb.
11:13I think we should charge her with espionage and throw her in prison right now.
11:18No, I'm not a spy!
11:19I-I swear!
11:20Then let's do it in your way.
11:28Oh my god.
11:32Get down from there!
11:33Now!
11:34That's the president!
11:35Do you have any idea about how much his shit cost?
11:43What the hell is that filthy thing?
11:49You dirty bitch!
11:50You didn't clean properly, so you attracted these strays!
11:53Someone, kill these animals!
11:55Throw them in the trash!
11:56No!
12:01Mr. President, they're just two stray dogs with nowhere to go.
12:04I felt bad for them, so I've been hiding them here.
12:06They're like my own kids.
12:08I'm just a single mom trying to raise two little ones.
12:10It's hard enough.
12:11Please, don't hurt them.
12:12I swear I'll train them to use the toilet.
12:14And they won't chew up your shoes!
12:18Mr. President!
12:19These are clearly wolf cubs, but she's raising them like dogs.
12:23And weird thing is, holding this little guy gives me a strange feeling like I've seen him somewhere before.
12:29You really like them, huh?
12:33Well, duh, they're my kids.
12:35Of course I like them.
12:36Yes!
12:37They're adorable!
12:38Please just let me keep them.
12:40I swear they won't bite, won't make a mess.
12:42I'll even put diapers on them if I have to.
12:47Too bad they're just regular wolf pups.
12:50Wish they were werewolves.
12:51This ends here.
12:53No one speaks of this.
12:55Thank you, Mr. President.
13:07I'm finally gone.
13:09You two little rascals best behave from now on.
13:12If you pull something like that again, I swear I'll hand you over to Olivia.
13:17You can be her little hand warmers.
13:32Mr. President, I checked it out.
13:34Not so straight as the woman brought them to the hospital.
13:36But where they actually came from, that I couldn't trace.
13:40No way she secretly had two puppies while she was in the hospital.
13:43So why lie?
13:45I wasn't pregnant.
13:47That wasn't a baby coming out.
13:48That was a massive, toxic, waist-level crap.
13:52One whiff, and the guy dropped like a fly.
13:59Find the doctor who delivered her baby.
14:01Yes, sir.
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