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#video #The Bear - Season 5 Episode 100 - (special) Gary #moviehot2026 #trendingmovie

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00:26I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:46you look good yeah i am proud of you i'm proud of you i love you i love you so
00:54much
01:07oh my god let's fucking go yeah do this okay you better be home by 5 15.
01:19no problemo babe
01:26yo stop stop you're gonna wake up the whole fucking neighborhood be fucking on time
01:29shit i forgot yeah i'm sorry yeah give me a sec
01:33fucking oh yeah there it is there it is you get in the fucking coming to go in that car
01:43get in the
01:43fucking car get in the car let's go there's just nothing allowed yet all right just
01:53why are you slamming that fool why do you have to just just fucking shut it slam it don't say
01:58you
01:59didn't when you did mike i did this you guys show me again yeah
02:10how terrible is that fucking filth got it from fucking gogos it's pretty good what is it he's
02:15look the other debit only now what if you don't have a debit card right then you're fucked if you
02:19don't have a debit card you got the debit card you got to pay a fucking fee it's like they
02:22fuck you in
02:23the ass either way yeah because if they do the credit card then they got to pay a percentage of
02:28the credit card i understand but why fuck the customer it's just for no reason
02:34gotta tell you my it's kind of like a little bit of a glass half half empty kind of
02:39energy you're working with for this mission double oh fucking suck my dick what do you mean a mission
02:43yo we're fucking transporting some goods across state lines we're taking a fucking tape box to
02:47gary indiana gary fucking indiana that's where we're going what's in the box i don't know what's
02:52in the fucking box it's taped i just said it's taped you can tell me
02:58all right fair enough i don't need to know you're a fucking donkey that's what you fucking are
03:02that's what you are fucking all you don't even know what you're fucking taking you're just fucking
03:05moving donkey fucking packing old donkey i am a donkey yeah you ever see what a donkey's packing
03:10downstairs you ever see that donkey downstairs
03:18what's happening stay here is that jimmy
03:21mate
03:23mate
03:24Let's go.
03:54Thank you, Michael.
04:26You made a fucking...
04:28Did you make that?
04:29Yeah, I made this.
04:30Tunes for Gary.
04:32Come on, baby.
04:33Let's do this.
04:35Oh!
04:36Oh!
04:37Oh!
04:37Gradual with the volume.
04:39I am gradual with the volume.
04:41Just turn it off.
04:42This is gradual with the volume.
04:43That's exactly what I did.
04:44I swear to God.
04:45Stop it.
04:46Stop it.
04:46Stop it.
04:46Stop it.
04:47Stop it.
04:47Stop it.
04:47Pull this fucking car over and fucking leave you here.
04:49You understand?
04:50This is not...
04:51This is not gradual with the volume.
04:53Like that.
04:55That's not what I did.
04:56I know how to...
04:57I respect the fucking car.
05:00Now I want you to respect the fucking music.
05:23Good gracious.
05:26Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:30Yeah, there he is.
05:32There he is.
05:33There he is.
05:34Stop.
05:34Don't fucking touch me.
05:35Stop.
05:35Stop.
05:39Well, here's some fun facts about Gary.
05:41Can't wait.
05:42Guess the population.
05:4570,000.
05:47Uh, it is a Rust Belt city.
05:50It was once known as Magic City.
05:53It was once also known as the City of the Century.
05:56City of the Century.
05:5754% female.
05:58For those of us in the car that are, you know, not married, that might be a pretty fun fact.
06:05Obviously, John Cougar Mellencamp.
06:07Michael Jackson fucking orangutan.
06:09Michael Jackson's from Gary.
06:10The whole Jackson 5 for that matter.
06:11Could have fucking said Tito before fucking John Cougar Mellencamp.
06:14All right.
06:15Oh, shit.
06:15Coney King does a piece of puff.
06:17What?
06:18Coney King does a piece of puff.
06:19I thought that was just a Chicago thing.
06:23You trying to tell me you're not at all excited about traveling more?
06:26Traveling?
06:27Yeah.
06:27You're not just tired of the same old, same old.
06:29This is what I'm talking about, Michael.
06:31This is a fucking mission.
06:32Jimmy's entrusting us with some more responsibility.
06:34We got the fucking open road ahead of us.
06:36You know, there's a lot of, you know, positive things about this day.
06:40Responsibility, huh?
06:41Yeah?
06:42Yeah.
06:42You feeling respected?
06:44Yeah.
06:45Yeah.
06:46Maybe the time you'll come to find that this is maybe a potentially transformative day.
06:52God.
06:53We're on a great day.
06:54Bop down to Gary.
06:56Little bada bing, bada boom.
06:58Bop, bap, bap.
06:58Here we're fucking home by 5.15.
07:00The latest.
07:015.15, why 5.15?
07:03It's just the thing with Tiff that she's got superstition about.
07:05Superstition about what?
07:06Her mom went into labor at 5.15.
07:08She got it in her head that she's going to, you know, same thing's going to happen to her.
07:12It's the stupidest fucking thing I ever heard in my life.
07:14I can't.
07:14Why would the same thing?
07:15I know.
07:16Literally, how many minutes are in a fucking day?
07:17There's like thousands of fucking minutes in a day.
07:19Why would it happen in the same time?
07:20Michael, I'm not saying that this makes any kind of sense at all.
07:22So we need to be back by 5.15 because her fucking mother spit her out.
07:25It's a non-issue.
07:27It's a non-issue.
07:28It's a non-issue.
07:28Well, it is a fucking issue.
07:29If you're saying we've got to be back by 5.15, we'll be back by 5.15.
07:32That's why I'm saying it's a non-issue.
07:37You'd rather be at the fucking serving beefs all day?
07:41Come on.
07:41Like an open road.
07:45Where's my Kansas City, baby?
07:48And I'm a Kansas City wine.
07:53Well, I might take the train.
07:56I might take the plane.
07:58But if I have to walk, I'm going just the same.
08:02Going to Kansas City.
08:05Kansas City, here I come.
08:10They got some crazy little women there.
08:13And I'm gonna give me one.
08:15Welcome to Indiana.
08:17There you go.
08:17You're a fucking world traveler, Rich.
08:19Congratulations.
08:20Let's go.
08:21Yeah, you feel different?
08:25Ah, yeah.
08:36City of magic.
08:38City of the century.
08:41You think this happened overnight?
08:43Oh, yeah.
08:43They just flipped a switch.
08:45They just flipped a switch.
08:47Shh.
08:51They got crazy little women there.
08:52Definitely doesn't feel like Chicago.
08:56I don't know.
08:59They're just fucking 35 minutes away.
09:02I don't know what to say.
09:05Still change.
09:06Quick.
09:08They got some crazy little women there and I'm gonna hit me one.
09:16They got some crazy little-
09:26Got Jim.
09:30In some way, what about him?
09:43Hey, hi, hon.
09:44Hey.
09:45How you feeling?
09:48Uh, you know, I think I'm good.
09:51What do you mean?
09:52I don't know.
09:53I'm not sure how to describe it.
09:55It's just like...
09:56What?
09:57It's like I feel like I have to shit really bad, but I don't know.
10:00I can't tell if this is what the doctor said to look out for.
10:03Okay.
10:05Uh...
10:06Contraction?
10:06You think it's like Braxton Hicks?
10:09Uh, yeah, probably.
10:11But, you know, I'll be okay.
10:12It's not close to 515 yet, so...
10:14Yeah?
10:14Yeah, don't worry.
10:15I'm okay.
10:16Okay.
10:17Did you do the drop off?
10:18Uh, almost.
10:19Uh-huh.
10:20Well, I'm proud of you.
10:21I'm really proud of you.
10:22How's the drive?
10:22Are you having fun?
10:23Yeah.
10:24Yeah, we're having a good time.
10:26And how about Mikey?
10:27Is he okay?
10:28Yeah, he's good.
10:29Okay, that's great.
10:30But don't smoke any cigarettes, though, honey.
10:32Promise me, right?
10:33Okay.
10:33Listen, I'm gonna call you back, okay?
10:35Just try me if you need anything, okay?
10:36I love you.
10:37Okay, I love you so much.
10:39What's up?
10:40What'd he say?
10:41He said he'd let us know in a few hours.
10:44Well, let us know.
10:47What's up?
10:48What's up?
10:48Like, three?
10:49Four?
10:50Richie, I didn't say it.
10:50He said...
10:53He had hours to kill him, Gary.
10:55You still feeling respected?
10:57Fuck it.
10:58It's just...
10:59I don't know.
11:00Let's get something to eat.
11:02You see that?
11:03It's Michael Jackson's house.
11:06Huh.
11:06Yeah.
11:08Shamu!
11:18Lock the door.
11:20Meet you in there.
11:25What are you listening?
11:25Teddy Pendergrass?
11:27Yes, we are.
11:28Oh, a little TP.
11:29Yes, I love Teddy.
11:30The romantic hot dog place you got here.
11:35I listen to the old school music.
11:38Yeah.
11:38I'm right there with you.
11:39Believe something.
11:40Yeah.
11:40And you know what they're saying.
11:41Yeah.
11:44Hi, welcome to Tony King.
11:46Appreciate you.
11:46Yo, Mike, this is Alicia.
11:47How are you, Alicia?
11:48Nice to meet you.
11:49Mike, how are you?
11:50I'll be your server.
11:51Just let me know if you need anything.
11:53Appreciate it.
11:53I got you a lemonade.
11:57Welcome.
11:59You're missing out.
12:00Missing out, huh?
12:01Yeah.
12:03How long you worked here?
12:04I've been working here five years.
12:06Five years?
12:06Yeah.
12:07That's business.
12:08Pretty good.
12:08It's great.
12:09I love it.
12:10You love it?
12:10What do you love about it?
12:11I like working with people for public.
12:14That's the answer right there.
12:15Michael hates people.
12:16Oh, man.
12:18I believe what he says.
12:19I don't like crowds.
12:20I don't hate people, but I just don't like crowds.
12:23You cook at home?
12:25You like the truth?
12:26Yeah, only the truth.
12:27No.
12:28Yeah.
12:28When I leave here, I don't want to go stand in front of a stove again.
12:31Yeah.
12:32Y'all cook at home?
12:34A little bit.
12:35Sometimes I write out some pots and pans, but I don't know.
12:37Not too much.
12:38I don't really cook at the restaurant, though, so.
12:40What kind of restaurant?
12:41Similar to this.
12:42Okay.
12:42Do you cook?
12:44I do some cooking from time to time.
12:46Yeah.
12:46Yes.
12:46What do you do?
12:47What do I do at the restaurant?
12:49Yeah.
12:50Yeah.
12:50What do you do?
12:52I guess I'm a bit like, I don't know how you say it, like, kind of a bit of a
12:55song and
12:55dance man.
12:56There you go.
12:56There you go.
12:57I don't know.
12:57Public relations, forward facing.
12:59You know.
13:08Cozen, what do you think of the name Annie?
13:15Throw some names in me you like.
13:20Hit me.
13:23You call me crazy, but I actually like the name Althea.
13:26Althea?
13:27Althea.
13:28Althea.
13:28Althea sounds like the name of, like, somebody that's getting their ass kicked off.
13:31Nah.
13:32Althea?
13:33Althea.
13:36Sounds like a nerd.
13:38Nah.
13:38Althea.
13:40Althea.
13:42Althea.
13:42Althea later.
13:42alumnus.
13:43Althea.
13:47Althea.
13:48Althea when I get back from, uh, from social studies.
13:54Althea for dinner.
13:58Althea when I do.
14:14I met this, uh, Eva that I liked once.
14:18Eva?
14:34Oh, look at these little fuckers.
14:36Oh, these little fuckers are about to get it.
14:40What's up, girls?
14:41Oh, we're gonna fucking, okay.
14:43Yeah, sure.
14:44Alright, you little fuckers.
14:47You ready to get some?
14:48This is my second favorite sport right here.
14:52Hey, we got Knicks!
14:55Hey, what's the score of that game right there?
14:57Are you guys hooping and picking daisies?
15:00Let me and my boy get one of you.
15:02We run threes.
15:03Which one?
15:03Alright, come on, Daffodil.
15:05You ready to win?
15:06Yeah?
15:07Come here, young butt.
15:08What's going on?
15:08I'm Mikey.
15:09What's up, buddy?
15:10How are you?
15:11Oh, we getting our balls like that?
15:12Y'all want five points?
15:13What's up, Mikey?
15:14What's up?
15:14Alright, let's run.
15:15I don't even need to warm up.
15:17Alright, boys.
15:18Come on, Rich.
15:18Let's go.
15:19Oh, shit.
15:21It's time for a little silken suede.
15:23Y'all about to get some?
15:24Y'all want, Rob?
15:24You sure you don't need to stretch?
15:25I'm about to stretch you, boy.
15:27Hold on.
15:27Let's wait for him.
15:28You ready?
15:29Yeah.
15:29Hey, good luck, youngsters.
15:31Let's go.
15:31Hold on.
15:32Hold on.
15:34Come on.
15:36I don't know.
15:37I'm sorry.
15:38Where were you?
15:39Alright, play, play, play.
15:40I got bigs.
15:40Go out there.
15:41Stay in front.
15:42Oh, okay.
15:44Oh.
15:45Haha.
15:45That's gonna hurt.
15:47Let's go.
15:47Yeah.
15:48It's man game now.
15:49It's different.
15:50Let's go.
15:50Haha.
15:52Oh.
15:52You know it's the orange circle, right?
15:55It's the orange circle.
15:56You want to try to get it in that orange circle.
15:59Everyone's afraid of contact out here.
16:00Go to the basket.
16:01Go to the basket.
16:02That ain't happening.
16:03Don't be afraid.
16:04Come on.
16:04It was.
16:07Good for you, Mike.
16:08Every dog has his day.
16:09Alright, bring it down there again.
16:11It's because I'm covering three guys, Rich.
16:13Let's go.
16:13Play ball.
16:14Hahaha.
16:19It's every time he's beating you in the back fucking door.
16:23Yo.
16:23Keep the fucking door shut.
16:24Do not let him.
16:25Do not let him get behind you.
16:27Shut up.
16:28Motherfucker.
16:28Alright, let's go.
16:29Now he's playing.
16:30Oh.
16:30Where you going?
16:32Yeah.
16:33That's what I'm talking about.
16:34Hey, you got it.
16:35It's one.
16:35That's one.
16:36Let's go.
16:37Hey.
16:37Come on.
16:38Yep.
16:39Hit one, Daffodil.
16:41That's a good shot, boy.
16:42Bank's fucking open.
16:43Oh, they won't.
16:44I see it.
16:44Hey.
16:45Hey.
16:45Hey.
16:46It's a shot that fucking counts, right?
16:48Let's go.
16:48Play defense, hot shot.
16:51Hands up.
16:53Let's go.
16:55You all right?
16:56Hey.
16:56You all right?
16:57You all right?
16:59Let's go.
16:59Play ball.
17:00Check up.
17:00Check up.
17:01He's crying.
17:02I tell you what.
17:03They breed him soft out here in Indiana.
17:05Huh?
17:05It ain't the 80s.
17:06It ain't the 80s.
17:08It ain't the 80s.
17:09Let's go.
17:10Yeah, I don't like it.
17:10Did you change your diaper before the game?
17:12Like, do you?
17:13Or do you just play?
17:13What do you got?
17:14You got a swimmer on?
17:14You play with a swimmer on?
17:17Let's go.
17:18Next basket wins.
17:19No.
17:19Set the ball.
17:20Yes, sir.
17:21Yes, sir.
17:23Yes, baby.
17:24Let's fucking go.
17:25You see that screen?
17:26Yeah.
17:26I'm a fucking lion.
17:27I love it.
17:28I love you, boy.
17:29All day.
17:30Hey, good shit.
17:31Good shit, youngsters.
17:32Good shit.
17:33Look at that.
17:33Look at what he's doing.
17:35Hey, young buck, you're not so bad.
17:37You just miss a back...
17:37How do you miss a back door there?
17:39You see the back of his head?
17:40You gotta cut to the back.
17:41And you're not passing the ball.
17:42Exactly.
17:42And that's what I've been trying to tell you.
17:43These guys are fucking garbage.
17:45The Indiana guys are fucking garbage.
17:47Hey, shut the old bitch ass up.
17:48I...
17:49Ooh.
17:49You're negative.
17:51You're negative.
17:51I love you.
17:52You know what, actually?
17:53Don't get...
17:53No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:56It's all right.
17:56Let him play.
17:56Let him play.
17:57Let him play.
17:57We love you.
17:58We love you.
17:58Yo, your fucking Nikes look like fucking moccasins.
18:00Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
18:07No, let's be real.
18:09Gary in the end.
18:18Hey, you got tall boys?
18:20No tall boys.
18:22Regular boys.
18:23Like you.
18:24Ha, ha.
18:25Yeah.
18:25Funny.
18:28What do we got here?
18:29Hey, yo, yo, yo, why you creepin'?
18:35Come on, give me some of that O.E.
18:37Don't focus some of that...
18:40Drink your beer and get out.
18:41Okay, okay.
18:42Don't drink beer in store.
18:44Yo.
18:45I feel sorry for your mother.
18:46No!
18:47Oh, come on.
18:48What'd you say about my mama?
18:49Shut the fuck up.
18:50Sorry about my friend.
18:54Two, please.
18:56Let me get a scratch card.
18:59Crescent kick is a defensive maneuver.
19:01That's just, you know, clearing space.
19:03Just a fucking...
19:04Snap kick is for speed.
19:07Don't even see that fucker coming.
19:09But then if you need power, then, you know,
19:11it's just fucking side kick.
19:12Bah!
19:12All day.
19:13Break a fucker's knee, right?
19:14Bah!
19:16That's it.
19:16I felt that shit.
19:17Want me to tell you what the move is, though?
19:18Yeah.
19:19Look, dude, I don't want to fight you at all.
19:20I'm just going home.
19:21That's it.
19:22Fucking back kick.
19:24Right?
19:25Back kick.
19:26I was getting there.
19:26Power's out.
19:27Ding dong, motherfucker.
19:29Ha!
19:29Ha!
19:30Ha!
19:31Oh, be careful there.
19:32Be careful.
19:32Don't get on the...
19:33Hey, I'm so sorry about...
19:34Boom!
19:35Fuck out!
19:36And it's like so...
19:37It's like a fucking mule.
19:38Like, think about a mule like that.
19:39It's these big...
19:40You're actually generating force with, like,
19:42the big fucking muscles.
19:43Whoa!
19:44You know what I'm saying?
19:45Yeah.
19:45It's because you're already going this direction,
19:47then you come in that direction.
19:48Yeah.
19:49Even, like, the sight of it.
19:50You know what I mean?
19:50Yeah.
19:51Fuck you.
20:03Why are we starving?
20:06Christmas custom.
20:08Uh-uh!
20:11Woo-hoo!
20:30Thank you, sir.
20:31Thank you, sir.
20:32Thank you, sir.
20:32Thank you, sir.
20:39Yes, sir.
20:40Oh, yes, sir.
20:42You're fucking unbelievable, bro.
20:48You got fucking magic powers, dog.
20:58Oh!
21:02Oh!
21:04Oh!
21:04Oh!
21:08Oh!
21:09Oh!
21:21Oh!
21:22Oh!
21:23Oh!
21:24Oh!
21:27You got to go a corner of productivity,
21:29and it's easier,
21:30Don't worry about a thing, it's time to dance and sing and chill won't come up on you, and when
21:37that rhythm finally hits you with the beat that you do, you see that sign?
21:42Huh? Cousin, you see that sign right over there?
21:44Yeah.
21:50Did you see it before?
21:53What are you talking about?
21:54I'm saying there's no way.
21:58The two of us are sitting here for over an hour, and neither of us have seen that fucking sign
22:03right there.
22:06Yeah, Rich, it's a fucking sign.
22:09I think that bar just appeared.
22:11Yo, for real?
22:12Shut the fuck up.
22:13For real, though?
22:14I think that bar just fucking appeared.
22:16Michael.
22:17Okay, the bar just fucking appeared, Rich.
22:19You don't think that's crazy?
22:21It's a fucking bar.
22:24It's a sign.
22:25Mm.
22:26It's a sign.
22:27Open.
22:29That sign's a sign.
22:31That sign is a sign.
22:34We're going in there.
22:36Are you fucking retarded?
22:37Are you fucking with me sitting here an hour?
22:39He's gonna call any minute.
22:40We're not going in a fucking bar.
22:41What's the big deal?
22:42We run in a little fucking shot of rhythm and blues.
22:44We're not going in a fucking bar, Rich.
22:46Just sit down and do your fucking job.
22:47No.
22:47Listen to what I'm telling you, Michael.
22:48That sign is a sign.
22:50Okay, it's a fucking sign.
22:50Some things are bigger than you and me and fucking Jimmy.
22:53We are going in there.
22:53We're not going in a fucking bar.
22:55Just sit the fuck down.
22:56Man, I hate when you get like this.
22:57Get like that.
22:58I fucking hate that.
22:58Stop. Don't hit the fuck.
22:59What are you doing?
23:00What are you fucking doing?
23:00Fine. All right. You're right. You're right.
23:02Damn it.
23:03You're right.
23:04We can't do it.
23:05All right.
23:09What are you doing?
23:10Hey, Richie, get in the fucking car.
23:12Rich.
23:13Sir, can you please step out of the vehicle?
23:14No.
23:16Sir, please. I'm not going to ask you again.
23:17Please step out of the vehicle.
23:19License and registrate.
23:20Okay, that's it.
23:21Put your vagina where I can see it.
23:23Put your vagina right where I can see it.
23:26There's fucking houses. Stop.
23:27Yo.
23:28Yo, come on.
23:29Come on. We're not going.
23:30Yo, come on. Let's just go.
23:31I'm not doing that fucking bar.
23:33No.
23:33Just a little shot of rhythm and blues and we come back.
23:35I'm not doing it.
23:36No.
23:36You're fucking here.
23:37You fucking do a shot of fucking cocaine.
23:40You think you can fight a fucking tiger?
23:42Come on.
23:43Stop.
23:44It's fucking terrible.
23:45What's terrible?
23:46I'm like genuinely inspired here and you're just shitting all over my fucking dreams.
23:51It's terrible.
23:52I hope you feel good about yourself right now.
23:55Why are you pressuring me?
23:56Come on.
23:58All right, fuck you.
24:00I'm going in.
24:01You're going?
24:02I'm going in.
24:04Oh, shit.
24:06Yo.
24:07I'm good?
24:08How do I look?
24:09You look like a fucking barbarian, dude.
24:11You look like my father.
24:13All right.
24:13I'm going in.
24:14Go.
24:18Yeah!
24:21You'll fucking see.
24:23You'll fucking see.
24:26You're going to remember this fucking day.
24:41That's a fucking sign.
25:08That's a fucking sign.
25:23I'm going in.
25:24I'm going in.
25:29I'm going in.
25:37I'm going in.
25:40ain't nothing funny stop smiling still don't nothing move but the money but now i've learned
25:44to earn cause i'm righteous i feel great so maybe i might just search for a nine to five
25:53you mike yeah
25:59is it true what's that i'm one of the goalies for the blackhawks
26:08uh yeah e-bug that's right
26:16when is that what's the e-bug emergency backup goalie yeah yeah i like never play but
26:26i'm with the squad that's cool that's cool
26:33yeah your buddy told us about you yeah but he did he also said um tell you to put your
26:42big boy pants
26:43and join us in the bar sounds about right oh boy i'm just a messenger i got it okay it's
26:54pretty fun though
26:54okay i think you'll like it okay
26:56okay okay okay okay so i one time after a night out uh i got a ride home but they
27:22took me to the wrong
27:22house and i was too embarrassed to tell them that i knocked on the door of the house and and
27:29convinced them to let me just come inside
27:38okay all right all right nine years old i'm an altar boy
27:51you guys are good all right can i take another crack at this all right okay um my senior year
27:59uh i was doing pretty well in school but with the math i'm with my land you know so
28:06and look who the cat dragon hey yo you see this fucking great um so my grandma she gave me
28:16an
28:16ultimatum she was like you got to get a math tutor and so she told me about this lady rock
28:22solano who
28:23sang in her church choir who she was like uh a math professor for cook's county community
28:30and i was like no way grandma i don't want to do this i don't want to do the math
28:33tutor with some
28:34fucking 90 year old like you know like yeah you know what i'm saying like so but she was like
28:41listen you got to do it or you got to move out so come thursday 7 30 i'm at this
28:47dude's house
28:48eating his mom's golden lasagne you know okay and i realized like i got to be at uh at rock
28:55solana's
28:56this tutors you know in like five minutes so i down my cranberry juice and i
29:00sprint over there knock on the door and this woman that opens the door i swear to god like
29:07straight out of sports illustrated swimsuit issue this is the most gorgeous woman i've ever seen
29:15up to this point jet black hair long all the way down just kissing kind of the top of her
29:20butt you
29:21know and we get it what what what what what you guys willing to factor fix me yet or you
29:27want to
29:28hear more of the story you want to hear the story yeah you want to hear the story okay all
29:32right so we
29:33get in there we're talking math and all of a sudden i feel my entire insides just turn to liquid
29:41and i
29:42gotta take a shit like bad but i know that she got one little bathroom right there this tiny thing
29:48i know
29:48if i go in there she's gonna hear everything you know and i'm just like i mean on the outside
29:54i'm
29:55cool as a cucumber you know we're talking math and on the inside i'm just like come on
29:59asshole don't you family now baby and somehow by the grace of god i make it through this
30:07tutor session right that's not helpful so rock's on a pleasure to meet you i'll see you next thursday
30:15you know blah blah blah i get outside and i'm like yes i'm gonna make it i start to walk
30:20quickly back
30:21up back down and it just comes out that's it and all and it's just like that's that's what's happening
30:27that's what is happening and i'm just i start to pull my drawers down my pants down i look like
30:33one of
30:33those um photographs of the guys that just discovered oil you know like like like stuff
30:38is gurgling i can't tell what's coming up and it's just like some mud and and everywhere and
30:45and it's like i have this incredible feeling of relief right until i see her little porch light come
30:52on and time slows down and i see her doorknob turn and open and i look at her and she
30:59looks at me very
31:00quickly and then she quickly looks away and and i just take off through the hedges and i'm just
31:08running i'm just heading right back to michael's house i'm covered with brambles and my balls are
31:13slapping on either side and i just got like a trail behind me and i just can't stop laughing
31:19and i'm crying with laughter because i know it's six blocks down Milwaukee i'm gonna be at this dude's
31:24house and i'm going to tell him this story and this motherfucker is going to love it factor fiction
31:34sadly sadly it is a bad
31:36sadly it is a fucking bad
31:44this is what's on me i got to subject you guys to it all right hold on i'll be right
31:49back i'll be right
32:08i know i know you're not a goalie for that uh yes that's total bullshit yeah
32:19what gave it away
32:24something in your eyes yeah fair fair
32:30you prefer mike mikey michael it's got to be your call yeah
32:38no preference preference up to the customer
32:44how about you what what's your name can you tell me
32:48guess guess
32:51oh man i definitely bridget i don't know what
32:57oh boy shonda shit shit shit
33:00fuck i don't know sherry okay
33:04sherry from gary oh hey that's the person i've ever heard that
33:13you don't want to play the game huh yeah i don't know if that one's for me i mean you
33:21you want to go is
33:25yeah
33:28factor fiction
33:30michael
33:35ask me a question you from here
33:44i am not from indiana
33:49i am from portland maine not oregon okay
33:56what are you doing here
33:59needed to start over
34:00i need to get away from someone something
34:05got in my 88 honda accord and started driving west and my car broke down not too far from here
34:11my mom's favorite movie was 11 the afternoon starring gary cooper she always said she would
34:18name me gary if i was a boy so i saw the sign and i was like all right ma
34:23stayed one night it was quiet
34:27i like a ghost town you know what i mean
34:32kept staying
34:34work at this jazz joint jazz joint down on broadway called dirty
34:39thirties yeah i broke the bar you like it it's great
34:45come on what's not to like about a diving jazz and blues joint of gary indiana
34:57that's a fact
35:01fiction no really yeah
35:07that gary cooper
35:08that was suspect as a mother
35:09no that's real no that's real no it's not
35:11buffered
35:41it's me it's richie
35:41it's so fucking smooth it's mikey it's so smooth we're having such a good time
35:48okay can you hear me because i'm here please give you hello all right how how how are you feeling
35:56do it again yeah all right i was born and raised right the fuck here here indiana i lived here
36:03my
36:03whole life i love to travel gone everywhere but i lived here my whole life i love trains do not
36:09put me on a boat let's see i got two older sisters they got a different dad who i thought
36:16was santa
36:17claus until i was 11 years old i'm not shitting in my mouth um i had ovarian cancer when i
36:23was 22
36:26my mom is okay my dad is
36:31i got a three-legged dog named lucky he's the coolest dude in town
36:37and i studied to be an arborist an arborist yeah
36:42you like trees i do you do why what are the trees
36:48quiet sturdy reliable they're always there when you need them
36:53and they're pretty
36:58that's a fucking fact
37:02maybe
37:05it's a fact
37:07maybe maybe not what makes you say it's a fact
37:10you just
37:12i don't know you're just speaking from your heart
37:15right
37:22what are you looking for michael
37:32anything
37:45here you are sarah
37:47you just called me sarah
38:07okay so
38:08it's 3 17 right now i got enough time to be home by 5 15 right
38:15yeah yeah oh if the train isn't running
38:20what happens with the train you'll get caught behind it is
38:25oh jones
38:26oh
38:28okay
38:28all right thanks god leave yourself a buffer
38:31that's like kind of the whole operation you know
38:34wow so you like work for him
38:37i mean i'm i'm self-employed you know
38:40yeah yeah so you're the boss
38:43yeah i guess i'm the boss
38:46there are a lot of people depend on you
38:49i mean i depend on a lot of people
38:53i bet you're a good leader
39:00people like
39:04like people say things about me
39:07then what do they say
39:11they say that i don't finish things
39:16factor fiction michael
39:22you mind if i do a poem
39:25i thought you were going to be you
39:30that's
39:32that's the coolest thing you've ever heard
39:37do you plan to be there for you
39:39yeah yeah no i'm going to be back we're just down here one two wrapping up some business
39:43and then i'll be back up there
39:45put my catcher's mitt on
39:46ready to fucking go
39:47yeah yeah
39:50i can't tell you that you're like a birthday wish
39:52no no no i would tell you but my wife's got all she's all superstitious about all of this stuff
39:59we're having a girl i can tell you we're having a girl
40:01oh yeah yeah
40:13and there was this um
40:18when i was a kid you know
40:20my mom she used to do this thing where like when she was
40:24like i'm like the perfect mixture of like all kinds of fucking things in her system
40:27you know just like perfect she'd she'd like come into my room in the middle of the night you know
40:32and she'd like scratch my back and she had like the longest nails
40:35and she just you know and she used to
40:37she used to walk me through my day
40:38you know like like the most fucking minute details you know
40:42like like describing every little fucking bit of fabric of the fucking day you know
40:46like what we're gonna eat when we're gonna wake up
40:48what i was gonna wear what was gonna be on the radio
40:49like every fucking thing you know
40:51and just like
40:53it would make me feel like i don't know
40:55like i i just made me feel so relaxed
40:57yeah yeah yeah
40:59and like no matter what was gonna happen that day
41:02it didn't matter like fucking test or
41:03some shit bag i had to fucking deal with
41:05like i knew that and she had planned it for me
41:08it was great and i remember there was just one time
41:10i was like hey ma
41:13hey ma will you come in and tell me about my day tomorrow
41:15and she was like
41:17she like got angry you know
41:18she was like she was like mike you
41:21the fucking difference does it make it's just a day
41:25like
41:27i did i guess i didn't understand how that could be like
41:31like
41:31like like how that could be the same person you know
41:34yeah
41:36that's so scary
41:37yeah
41:42yeah she shouldn't have done that
41:45i could try her best
41:46i could stay with you
41:50i wish you would
41:55come on in the water it's fine
41:56oh boy
41:58his first impulse
42:00was the fucking movie
42:02you know what i'm saying
42:03you know what i'm saying
42:04the one without the narration
42:05that's the one
42:07okay
42:09i gotta call my uncle
42:10call him
42:11all right
42:11call him
42:12let's all
42:12everyone call their uncle
42:14jimmy it's rich where the fuck are you
42:16all right
42:18call me back
42:20this is just like
42:23you know this way of seeing the world you know
42:25like this perspective you know
42:26this lens that i've always had like these things that just bother people
42:29and hurt people
42:30and make them frustrated or furious you know
42:33like to me it just
42:35i never got it
42:36like it didn't affect me like that
42:37no it doesn't fucking
42:38nothing matters
42:39nothing fucking matters
42:40nothing fucking matters
42:42and i get that right
42:43yeah
42:43it's meaningless so why
42:45and then
42:46when i go on that trip
42:48like i could catch this groove you know
42:49sometimes for like weeks
42:50at a time you know
42:51like sometimes for months
42:52i just like have
42:53this like bliss you know
42:55and yeah i know i'm like
42:57like
42:58i'm like all fucking like babbling and shit
43:00like here in a fucking bathroom
43:01like a fucking baby
43:01but i could be
43:03like i could be a fucking blast
43:04i can be a blast
43:05like i can share it you know
43:07and then
43:08all of a sudden like out of nowhere
43:09those same thoughts
43:10like like like this kind of meaninglessness
43:12of it all
43:13you know
43:15it
43:15it like makes me sad
43:17yeah
43:19nothing matters
43:20it sets you free
43:20but then where are you right
43:22it's the same thing
43:23nowhere
43:23it's the same thing
43:24and then i'm like
43:26like so sad
43:27like i'm fucking drowning
43:27you know
43:28my jaw feels fucking like a million fucking pounds
43:30and i i i it's like i don't want to
43:33it sounds exhausting
43:37you must be really tired
43:44i can't breathe
43:46i can't breathe
43:51oh yeah
43:54i can't breathe
43:56oh yeah
43:59i can't breathe
44:00i can't breathe
44:01i'm sorry
45:04Cousin, Jimmy said he hasn't heard from you all day.
45:07His guy is waiting.
45:08Okay, I heard you.
45:10Cousin, I'm coming.
45:11All right.
45:11Fuck, man.
45:31Hey, I'll come back.
45:32I'll come back.
45:35I'll come back.
45:37I'll come back.
45:41I'll come back.
45:45I'll come back.
45:54I'll come back.
46:19I'll come back.
46:25I'll come back.
46:36I'll come back.
46:48I'll come back.
47:14I'll come back.
47:37I'll come back.
47:41I'll come back.
48:12I'll come back.
48:37I'll come back.
48:56I'll come back.
49:18I'll come back.
49:31I'll come back.
49:42I'll come back.
49:50I'll come back.
50:20I'll come back.
50:48I'll come back.
50:52I'll come back.
50:54I'll come back.
51:00I'll come back.
51:08I'll come back.
51:25I'll come back.
51:38I'll come back.
51:38I'll come back.
51:39I'm back.
52:06I'll come back.
52:08...
52:17...
52:20...
52:50Hey, one of you Mikey?
52:56This is for Jimmy.
53:10What's in the box?
53:43What do plastic pump impellers do?
53:48What do you mean?
53:50They rotate.
54:00It's your own.
54:03Probably not.
54:05FedEx strikes are over.
54:06It's your own.
54:09I don't want to go.
54:14I'm not going to go.
54:20I'm not going to go.
54:21I'll go.
54:23I can't go.
54:27Let's go.
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