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When Harry Met Sally... (1989) Part One (ENG) HD [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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02:00I'm going to marry her and two weeks later we were married and it's over 50 years later
02:08and we are still married.
02:16It's very clear
02:20I love this year to stay
02:24I love you.
02:26I love you.
02:26Not for a whole year
02:30Whatever and the day
02:35Oh, the radio and the telephone
02:59Oh, hi, Sally.
03:03Sally, this is Harry Burns.
03:05Harry, this is Sally Albright.
03:06Nice to meet you.
03:08You want to drive the first shift?
03:09No, you're there already.
03:10You can start.
03:11Back's open.
03:14Call me.
03:16I'll call you as soon as I get there.
03:18Oh, call me from the road.
03:20I'll call you before then.
03:22I love you.
03:23I love you.
03:24I love you.
03:29Sorry.
03:31I miss you already.
03:32Bye.
03:32I miss you already.
03:34Bye.
03:35Bye.
03:36Bye.
03:53I have it all figured out.
03:55It's an 18-hour trip
03:56which breaks down into six shifts of three hours each
03:58or alternatively we could break it down by mileage.
04:02There's a map on the visor
04:06that I've marked to show the locations
04:08where we can change shifts.
04:10Great.
04:12No, I don't like to eat between meals.
04:19I'll roll down the window.
04:29Why don't you tell me the story of your life?
04:34Story of my life?
04:35We've got 18 hours to kill before we hit New York.
04:38The story of my life isn't even going to get us out of Chicago.
04:41I mean, nothing's happened to me yet.
04:43That's why I'm going to New York.
04:44So something can happen to you?
04:45Yes.
04:45Like what?
04:47Like I'm going to journalism school to become a reporter.
04:49So you can write about things that happen to other people.
04:53That's one way to look at it.
04:55Suppose nothing happens to you.
04:57Suppose you've lived there your whole life
04:58and nothing happens,
04:58you never meet anybody,
04:59you never become anything,
05:00and finally you die one of those New York deaths
05:02that nobody notices for two weeks
05:04until the smell drifts into the hallway.
05:09Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
05:11That's what drew to me.
05:12Your dark side?
05:13Sure.
05:13Why don't you have a dark side?
05:16You're probably one of those cheerful people
05:17with doubts that arise with little hearts.
05:19I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.
05:22Oh, really?
05:23When I buy a new book,
05:24I always read the last page first.
05:26That way, in case I die,
05:27before I finish, I know how it ends.
05:28That, my friend, is a dark side.
05:31That doesn't mean you're deep or anything.
05:33I mean, yes, basically I'm a happy person.
05:36So am I.
05:36And I don't see that there's anything wrong with that.
05:38Of course not.
05:39You're too busy being happy.
05:40You ever think about death?
05:42Yes.
05:43Sure you do.
05:43A fleeting thought that drifts in and out
05:45of the transom of your mind.
05:46I spend hours.
05:47I spend days.
05:48And you think this makes you a better person?
05:50No.
05:51When the shit comes down,
05:52I'm gonna be prepared,
05:52and you're not.
05:53That's all I'm saying.
05:54In the meantime,
05:54you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it.
06:05You're wrong.
06:06I'm not wrong.
06:07You're wrong.
06:08He wants her to leave.
06:09That's why he puts her on the plane.
06:10I don't think she wants to stay.
06:12Of course she wants to stay.
06:13Wouldn't you rather be with Humphrey Bogart
06:15than the other guy?
06:16I don't want to spend the rest of my life
06:18in Casablanca,
06:19married to a man who runs a bar.
06:21That probably sounds very snobbish to you,
06:23but I don't.
06:24You'd rather be in a passionless marriage.
06:26And be the first lady of Czechoslovakia.
06:28Then live with a man you've had
06:29the greatest sex of your life with
06:31just because he owns a bar
06:32and that is all he does.
06:34Yes.
06:35And so with any woman in her right mind,
06:37women are very practical,
06:39even Ingrid Bergman,
06:40which is why she gets on the plane
06:41at the end of the movie.
06:46I understand.
06:49What?
06:50What?
06:51Nothing.
06:52What?
06:53Forget about it.
06:54What?
06:55Forget about what?
06:56It's not important.
06:57Just tell me.
06:59Obviously, you haven't had great sex yet.
07:02Two, please.
07:04Right over there.
07:04Yes, I have.
07:06No, you haven't.
07:07It just so happens
07:08that I have had plenty of good sex.
07:29With whom?
07:31What?
07:32With whom did you have this great sex?
07:35I'm not gonna tell you that.
07:37Fine, don't tell me.
07:45Shell Gordon.
07:47Shell?
07:48Sheldon?
07:48No.
07:49No, you did not have great sex with Sheldon.
07:52I did, too.
07:53No, you didn't.
07:55A Sheldon can do you income taxes.
07:57If you need a root canal,
07:59Sheldon's your name.
08:00But humping and pumping
08:00is not Sheldon's strong suit.
08:02It's a name.
08:03Do it to me, Sheldon.
08:04You're an animal, Sheldon.
08:05Ride me big, Sheldon.
08:08Doesn't work.
08:09Hi.
08:11What can I get you?
08:12I'll have a number three.
08:14I'd like the chef salad, please,
08:16with the oil and vinegar on the side
08:17and the apple pie a la mode.
08:19Chef, an apple a la mode.
08:22But I'd like the pie heated,
08:23and I don't want the ice cream on top.
08:25I want it on the side,
08:26and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it.
08:28If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream,
08:30but only if it's real.
08:31If it's out of a can, then nothing.
08:33Not even the pie?
08:34No, just the pie, but then not heated.
08:37Uh-huh.
08:37Come on.
08:43What?
08:44Nothing, nothing.
08:48So how come you broke up with Sheldon?
08:50How do you know we broke up?
08:51Because if you didn't break up,
08:53you wouldn't be here with me.
08:54You'd be off with Sheldon the Wonderschlag.
08:57First of all, I am not with you.
09:00And second of all,
09:02it is none of your business why we broke up.
09:04You're right, you're right.
09:06I don't want to know.
09:10Well, if you must know,
09:12it was because he was very jealous,
09:13and I had these days of the week underpants.
09:16I'm sorry, I need the judges ruling on this.
09:18Days of the week underpants.
09:20Yes.
09:21They had the days of the week on them,
09:22and I thought they were sort of funny.
09:24And then one day, Sheldon says to me,
09:26you never wear Sunday.
09:28It's all suspicious.
09:29Where was Sunday?
09:30Where had I left Sunday?
09:31And I told him, and he didn't believe me.
09:34What?
09:35They don't make Sunday.
09:37Why not?
09:39Because of God.
09:45Okay, so 15% of my share is...
09:49$96.
09:55It's what you said.
10:00What?
10:03Do I have something on my face?
10:06You're a very attractive person.
10:12Amanda never said how attractive you are.
10:15Well, maybe she doesn't think I'm attractive.
10:17I don't think it's a matter of opinion.
10:19Empirically, you are attractive.
10:24Amanda is my friend.
10:26So?
10:27So you're going with her.
10:29So?
10:30So you're coming on to meet me.
10:33No, I wasn't.
10:36What?
10:38Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come on?
10:42All right, all right.
10:44Let's just say, just for the sake of argument, that it was a come on.
10:48What do you want me to do about it?
10:50I take it back, okay?
10:52I take it back.
10:53You can't take it back.
10:54Why not?
10:55Because it's already out there.
10:57Oh, geez, what are we supposed to do?
10:59Call the cops?
11:00It's already out there.
11:01Just let it lie.
11:04Okay?
11:05Great.
11:06Let it lie.
11:07That's my policy.
11:09That's what I always say.
11:10Let it lie.
11:12Want to spend the night in a motel?
11:14See what I did?
11:15I didn't let it lie.
11:16Harry.
11:16I said I would and then I didn't.
11:17Harry.
11:18I went the other way.
11:18Harry.
11:19What?
11:20We are just going to be friends, okay?
11:23Great, friends.
11:23It's the best thing.
11:26You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
11:29Why not?
11:31What I'm saying is, and this is not a come on in any way, shape, or form,
11:35is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
11:42That's not true.
11:43I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
11:47No, you don't.
11:47Yes, I do.
11:48No, you don't.
11:48Yes, I do.
11:49I only think you do.
11:50You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
11:53No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
11:56They do not.
11:57Do, too.
11:58They do not.
11:59Do, too.
12:00How do you know?
12:01Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive.
12:04He always wants to have sex with her.
12:07So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
12:12No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
12:16What if they don't want to have sex with you?
12:18It doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there,
12:21so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.
12:25Well, I guess we're not going to be friends, then.
12:27Guess not.
12:28That's too bad.
12:30You were the only person that I knew in New York.
12:32You say neither, I say either.
12:37You say neither, and I say neither.
12:40Neither, either, neither, neither.
12:44And let's call the whole thing off.
12:47Yes, you like potato.
12:50I like potato.
12:52You like tomato.
12:54I like tomato.
12:56Potato, potato, tomato, tomato.
13:00And let's call the whole thing off.
13:11Thanks for the ride.
13:13Yeah, it was interesting.
13:15It was nice knowing you.
13:17Yeah.
13:27Well, have a nice life.
13:30You too.
13:31You too.
13:49We fell in love in high school.
13:51Yeah, we were high school sweethearts.
13:53But then after our junior year,
14:12it was just as though not a single day had gone by.
14:16She was just as beautiful as she was at 16.
14:20He was just the same.
14:23He looked exactly the same.
14:36He looked for each other in the same way then.
14:42But I can't remember when or when.
14:58Joe, I thought it was you.
15:00I thought it was you, Harry Burns.
15:02Harry, Harry, how you doing?
15:03Good.
15:04How you doing?
15:05I'm fine.
15:05I'm doing fine.
15:06That's great.
15:07I was just walking by, and I thought it was you,
15:08and there it is.
15:09It's you.
15:09Yeah, yeah, it was.
15:11You still with the DA's office?
15:12No, I switched to the other side.
15:14What about you?
15:15I work with a small firm.
15:16We do political consulting.
15:18Yeah, it's been great.
15:21Oh, Harry, this is Sally Albright, Harry Burns.
15:24Harry and I, we used to live in the same building.
15:27Yeah.
15:31Well, listen, I got a plane to catch.
15:32It was really good to see you, Joe.
15:33You too, Harry.
15:34Bye.
15:42Thank God he couldn't place me.
15:43I drove from college to New York with him five years ago,
15:46and it was the longest night of my life.
15:50What happened?
15:51He made a pass at me, and when I said no,
15:53he was going with a girlfriend of mine.
15:57Oh, God, I can't remember her name.
16:00Don't get involved with me, Joe.
16:02I am 26 years old, and I can't even remember
16:04the name of the girl I was such good friends with,
16:06I wouldn't get involved with her boyfriend.
16:08So what happened?
16:10When?
16:11When he made a pass at you, you said no.
16:13Oh, oh.
16:14I said we could just be friends.
16:17And this part I remember.
16:18He said that men and women could never really be friends.
16:22Do you think that's true?
16:25No.
16:27Do you have any women friends, just friends?
16:30No.
16:32But I will get one if it's important.
16:37I will get one if it's important.
16:38Amanda Reese, that was her name.
16:40Thank God.
16:42I will miss you.
16:43I love you.
16:45You do?
16:47Yes.
16:50I love you.
16:52I love you.
16:55I love you.
16:56I love you.
16:57I love you.
17:00I love you.
17:01I love you.
17:16And what would you like to drink?
17:17Nothing, thanks.
17:19Do you have any Bloody Mary mix?
17:20Yes.
17:21No.
17:21Wait.
17:22Here's what I want.
17:24Regular tomato juice, filled up about three quarters,
17:26then add a splash of Bloody Mary mix,
17:28just a splash, and a little piece of lime, but on the side.
17:31The University of Chicago, right?
17:34Yes.
17:35Did you look this good at the University of Chicago?
17:38No.
17:39Did we ever...
17:41No.
17:41No.
17:43We drove from Chicago to New York together after graduation.
17:47Would you two like to sit together?
17:49Great.
17:50Great.
17:57You were a good friend of, um...
18:01Amanda's.
18:02I can't believe you can't remember her name.
18:04What do you mean?
18:05I can remember Amanda, right?
18:06Amanda Rice.
18:07Reese.
18:07Reese, right.
18:08That's what I said.
18:08Whatever happened to her?
18:09I have no idea.
18:11You have no idea?
18:12You were really good friends with her.
18:14We didn't make it because you were such good friends.
18:16You went with her.
18:17And was it worth it, the sacrifice for a friend
18:19that you don't even keep in touch with?
18:21Harry, you might not believe this,
18:23but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.
18:27Fair enough.
18:29Fair enough.
18:33You were gonna be a gymnast.
18:34A journalist.
18:35Right, that's what I said.
18:36And?
18:37I am a journalist.
18:38I work at the news.
18:39Great.
18:40And you're with Joe.
18:42Well, that's great.
18:44Great.
18:45You're together, what, three weeks?
18:48A month.
18:49How did you know that?
18:51You take someone to the airport,
18:52it's clearly the beginning of a relationship.
18:54That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport
18:56at the beginning of a relationship.
18:58Why?
18:59Because eventually things move on
19:00and you don't take someone to the airport
19:02and I never wanted anyone to say to me,
19:04how come you never take me to the airport anymore?
19:07It's amazing.
19:08You look like a normal person,
19:10but actually you are the angel of death.
19:13Are you gonna marry him?
19:16We have only known each other for a month
19:18and besides,
19:18neither one of us is looking to get married right now.
19:21I'm getting married.
19:22You are?
19:23Mm-hmm.
19:25You are?
19:26Yeah.
19:28Who is she?
19:29Helen Hilson.
19:30She's a lawyer.
19:31She's keeping her name.
19:33You're getting married.
19:35Yeah.
19:37What's so funny about that?
19:38It's, yeah.
19:42It's just so optimistic of you, Harry.
19:44Well, you'd be amazed
19:45what falling madly in love can do for you.
19:47Well, it's wonderful.
19:49It's nice to see you embracing life in this manner.
19:51Yeah, plus, you know,
19:52you just get to a certain point
19:53where you get tired of the whole thing.
19:55What whole thing?
19:57The whole life of a single guy thing.
19:59You meet someone,
20:00you have the safe lunch,
20:01you decide you like each other enough
20:02to move on to dinner.
20:03You go dancing,
20:04you do the white man's overbite,
20:07go back to her place,
20:08you have sex,
20:09and the minute you're finished,
20:10you know what goes through your mind?
20:11How long do I have to lie here
20:13and hold her before I can get up
20:14and go home?
20:15Is 30 seconds enough?
20:17That's what you're thinking?
20:19Is that true?
20:20Sure.
20:21All men think that.
20:23How long do you like to be held afterwards?
20:25All night, right?
20:26See, that's the problem.
20:27Somewhere between 30 seconds
20:29and all night is your problem.
20:30I don't have a problem.
20:32Yeah, either.
20:41I don't have a problem.
20:48Staying over?
20:50Yes.
20:51Would you like to have dinner?
20:53Just friends?
20:54I thought you didn't believe
20:56men and women could be friends.
20:57When did I say that?
20:58On the ride to New York.
20:59No, no, no, no.
21:00I never said this.
21:02Yes, that's right. They can't be friends.
21:06Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can.
21:09This is an amendment to the earlier rule.
21:11If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted.
21:16That doesn't work either, because what happens then is the person you're involved with
21:19can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with.
21:22Like it means something is missing from the relationship and wanting to go outside to get it.
21:26Then when you say, no, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,
21:29the person you're involved with then accused you of being secretly attracted to the person you just friends with.
21:34Which you probably are. Come on. Who the hell are we kidding? Let's face it.
21:37Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.
21:41So where does it leave us?
21:42Harry?
21:43What?
21:44Goodbye.
21:46Okay.
21:55I'll just stop walking. I'll let you go ahead.
22:01We were married 40 years ago. We were married three years. We got a divorce. Then I married Marjorie.
22:08But first you lived with Barbara.
22:09Right. Barbara. But I didn't marry Barbara. I married Marjorie.
22:13Then you got a divorce.
22:15Right. Then I married Katie.
22:17Another divorce.
22:18Then a couple of years later at Eddie Colicchio's funeral, I ran into her.
22:23I was with some girl I don't even remember.
22:26Roberta.
22:27Right.
22:28Roberta.
22:29But I couldn't take my eyes off you.
22:31I remember I snuck over to her and I said, what did I say?
22:36You said, what are you doing after?
22:38Right.
22:39So I ditched Roberta, we go for coffee, a month later we're married.
22:4335 years today after our first marriage.
22:49I went through his pockets, okay?
22:51Mommy, why do you go through his pockets?
22:53You know what I found?
22:54You know what?
22:55They just bought a dining room table.
22:56He and his wife just went out and spent $1,600 on a dining room table.
23:00Where?
23:01The point isn't where, Alice.
23:03The point is he's never gonna leave her.
23:05So what else is new?
23:06You've known this for two years.
23:08You're right.
23:08You're right.
23:09I know you're right.
23:10Why can't you find someone single?
23:12When I was single, I knew lots of nice single men.
23:14There must be someone.
23:16Sally found someone.
23:17Well, Sally got the last good one.
23:20Joe and I broke up.
23:21What?
23:22When?
23:22Monday.
23:23You waited three days to tell us?
23:24You mean Joe's available?
23:26For God's sakes, Marie, don't you have any feelings about this?
23:28Well, she's obviously upset.
23:30I'm not that upset.
23:31We've been growing apart for quite a while.
23:33What?
23:33You guys were a couple.
23:35You had someone to go places with.
23:36You had a date on national holidays.
23:39I said to myself, you deserve more than this.
23:41You're 31 years old.
23:42And the clock is ticking.
23:44No, the clock doesn't really start to tick until you're 36.
23:47God, you're in such great shape.
23:49Well, I've had a few days to get used to it, and I feel okay.
23:54Good.
23:54Then you're ready.
23:57Really, Marie.
23:59Well, how else do you think you'd do it?
24:00I've got the perfect guy.
24:02I don't happen to find him attractive, but you might.
24:04She doesn't have a problem with chins.
24:07Marie, I'm not ready yet.
24:09But you just said you were over him.
24:10I am over him, but I'm in a mourning period.
24:16Who is it?
24:17Alex Anderson.
24:19Oh.
24:20You fixed me up with him six years ago.
24:23I'm sorry.
24:25God.
24:26All right.
24:26Wait.
24:27Here.
24:27Here we go.
24:28Ken Darman.
24:30He's been married for over a year.
24:32Really?
24:35Married.
24:36Oh, wait.
24:37Wait, wait.
24:38Look.
24:38I got one.
24:39There is no point in my going out with someone I might really like if I met him at the
24:43right
24:43time, but who right now has no chance of being anything to me but a transitional man.
24:47Okay.
24:48But don't wait too long.
24:50Remember what happened with David Warsaw?
24:52His wife left him and everyone said, give him some time, don't move him too fast.
24:57Six months later, he was dead.
25:00What are you saying?
25:00I should get married to someone right away in case he's about to die?
25:03At least you could say you were married.
25:06I'm saying that the right man for you might be out there right now, and if you don't grab
25:10him, someone else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that
25:13someone else is married to your husband.
25:37You're welcome.
25:37When did this happen?
25:38Friday.
25:40Helen comes home from work and she says, I don't know if I want to be married anymore.
25:45like it's the institution you know like it's nothing personal just something she's been
25:48thinking about in a casual way i'm calm i say why don't we take some time to think about it
25:54you know don't rush into anything yeah right next day she says she's thought about it and
25:59she wants a trial separation she just wants to try it she says but we can still date like this
26:04is supposed to cushion the blow i mean i got married so i could stop dating so i don't see
26:08where we can still date as any big incentive since the last thing you want to do is date your
26:12wife
26:12who's supposed to love you which is what i'm saying to her when it occurs to me that maybe
26:16she doesn't so i say to her don't you love me anymore do you know what she says i don't
26:22know
26:22if i've ever loved you oh that's harsh don't bounce back from that right away thanks jess no i'm a
26:30writer i know dialogue and that's particularly harsh then she tells me that somebody in her office
26:35is going to south america and she can sub let his apartment i can't believe this and the doorbell
26:40rings i can sub let his apartment the words are still hanging in the air you know like in a
26:45balloon attached to a mouth right so i go to the door and there are moving men there now i
26:51start to
26:51get suspicious i say helen when did you call these movers and she doesn't say anything so i asked the
26:57movers when did this woman book you for this gig and they're just standing here three huge guys one
27:02of them wearing a t-shirt that says don't fuck with mr zero so i said helen when did you
27:07make this
27:07arrangement she says a week ago i said you've known for a week and you didn't tell me and she
27:14says i didn't want to ruin your birthday
27:19you're saying mr zero knew you were getting a divorce a week before you did mr zero no i can't
27:24believe this i haven't told you the bad part yet what could be worse than mr zero no it's all
27:29a lie
27:32she's in love with somebody else some tax attorney she moved in with him how did you find out
27:40i followed her i stood outside the building so you're a million tell me not and you know i knew
27:47i knew the whole time that even though we were happy was just an illusion and that one day she
27:51would kick the shit out of me marriages don't break up on account of infidelity it's just a symptom
27:57that something else is wrong really well that symptom is fucking my wife
28:06so i just happened to see his american express bill
28:10what do you mean you just happened to see it well he was shaving and there it was in his
28:15briefcase
28:16what if he came out and saw you looking through his briefcase you're missing the point i'm telling
28:21you what i found he just spent 120 on a new night count for his wife
28:28i don't think he's ever gonna leave her no one thinks he's ever gonna leave her
28:33you're right you're right i know you're right
28:52someone is staring at you in personal growth
28:58i know him you'd like him he's married
29:02who is he harry burns he's a political consultant
29:07he's cute you think he's cute how do you know he's married
29:12because last time i saw him he was getting married when was that
29:16six years ago so we might not be married anymore
29:21also he's obnoxious well this is just like in the movies remember and the lady vanishes when she
29:26says to me you're the most obnoxious man i've ever met the most contemptible then they fall madly in love
29:30also he never remembers me
29:32sally albright
29:36hi harry i thought it was you it is yeah this is marie
29:42what is marie how are you fine how's joe
29:47fine i hear he's fine you're not with joe anymore
29:53we just broke up oh i'm sorry that's too bad
30:00yeah well you know yeah so what about you i'm fine how's married life
30:11not so good i am getting a divorce
30:14oh i'm sorry no i'm really sorry
30:19yeah well what are you gonna do
30:22what happened to you guys when joe and i started seeing each other we wanted exactly the same thing
30:28we wanted to live together but we didn't want to get married because every time anyone we knew got married
30:32it ruined their relationship
30:33they practically never had sex again it's true it's one of the secrets that no one
30:39ever tells you i would sit around with my girlfriends who have kids and
30:43actually my one girlfriend who has kids alice and she would complain about how she
30:48and gary never did it anymore she didn't even complain about it now that i think about it she
30:53just said it matter of factly she said they were up all night they were both exhausted
30:57all the time the kids just took every sexual impulse they had out of them
31:03joe and i used to talk about it and we'd say we're so lucky we have this
31:06wonderful relationship we can have sex on the kitchen floor and not worry about the kids walking
31:11in we can fly off to rome on a moment's notice
31:17and then one day i was taking alice's little girl for the afternoon because i promised to take her to
31:21the circus and we were in the cab playing i spy i spy a mailbox i spy a lamppost and
31:30she looked out
31:30the window and she saw this man and this woman with these two little kids and the man had one
31:35of the
31:35little kids on the shoulders and she said i spy a family and i started to cry you know i
31:45just started crying
31:48and i went home and i said the thing is joe we never do fly off to rome on a
31:53moment's notice
31:54and the kitchen floor not once it's this very cold hard mexican ceramic tile
32:05anyway we talked about it for a long time and i said this is what i want and he said
32:09well i don't
32:11and i said well i guess it's over and he left
32:17and the thing is i i feel really fine i am over him i mean i really am over him
32:24that was it for him that was the most that he could give and every time i think about it
32:29i am
32:30more and more convinced that i did the right thing boy you sound really healthy yeah at least i got
32:38the
32:39apartment that's what everybody says to me too but really what's so hard about finding an apartment
32:44what you do is you read the obituary column and you find out who died go to the building and
32:48then
32:48you tip the dormant what they could do to make it easier is combine the obituaries with the real
32:53estate section see then you have mr klein died today leaving a wife two children and a spacious
32:58three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace you know the first time we met i really didn't like
33:07you that much i didn't like you yeah you did you were just so uptight then you're much softer now
33:13you know i hate that kind of remark it sounds like a compliment but really it's an insult
33:17okay you're still as hard as nails i just didn't want to sleep with you and you had to write
33:22it off
33:22as a character flaw instead of dealing with a possibility that it might have something to do with you
33:29what's the statute of limitations and apologies
33:3310 years oh i can just get it in under the water
33:42would you like to have dinner with me sometime are we becoming friends now well
33:54yeah grace a woman friend you know you may be the first attractive woman i have not wanted to
34:02sleep with in my entire life that's wonderful harry
34:07we were both born in the same hospital 1921 seven days apart in the same hospital we both grew up
34:15one
34:15block away from each other on the lower east side on delancey street my family moved to the bronx
34:21he lived on fordham road hers moved when she was 11 on 183rd street for six years she worked on
34:28the
34:2815th floor i worked for a very prominent as a nurse where i had a practice on the 14th floor
34:34the very same
34:35building never met can you imagine that you know where we met in an elevator i was visiting
34:42in the ambassador hotel in chicago he was on the third floor i was on the 12th i wrote up
34:47nine extra
34:48floors just to keep talking to her nine extra floors
35:04hello you sleeping no i was watching casablanca channel please 11. thank you got it
35:12now you're telling me you would be happy with victor laszlo than with humphrey bogart
35:16when did i say that when we drove to new york i never said that i would never have said
35:21that
35:21all right fine have it your way
35:25have you been sleeping why because i haven't been sleeping i really miss helen
35:33maybe i'm coming down or something last night i was up at four in the morning watching
35:37leave it to beaver in spanish i'm not well well i went to bed at 7 30 last night i
35:46haven't done that
35:47since the third grade well that's the good thing about depression get your rest i'm not depressed
35:53okay fine do you still sleep on the same side of the bed i did for a while but now
35:58i'm pretty much
35:59using the whole bed god that's great i feel weird when just my leg wanders over i miss her i
36:08don't miss
36:09him i really don't not even a little you know what i miss i miss the idea of him
36:18maybe i only miss the idea villain now i miss the whole ellen
36:27last scene
36:35oh ingrid bergman now she's low maintenance low maintenance there are two kinds of women
36:41high maintenance and low maintenance and ingrid bergman is low maintenance an lm definitely which
36:48one am i you're the worst kind you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance
36:53i don't see that you don't see that waiter i'll begin with the house salad but i don't want the
36:58regular dressing i'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil but on the side and then the salmon with
37:02the mustard sauce but i want the mustard sauce on the side on the side is a very big thing
37:06for you
37:07well i just want it the way i want it i know high maintenance
37:22best last line of a movie ever
37:28i'm definitely coming down with something probably a 24-hour tumor they're going around
37:33you don't have a tumor how do you know if you're so worried go see a doctor no he'll just
37:38tell me
37:38it's nothing will you be able to sleep if not i'll be okay what'll you do i'll stay up and
37:45moan
37:46maybe i should practice now
37:54good night airy
37:57good night
38:30good night
38:35I had my dream again, where I'm making love and the Olympic judges are watching.
38:39I'd nailed the compulsory, so this is it, the finals.
38:42I got a 9-8 from the Canadian, a perfect 10 from the American,
38:46and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5-6.
38:49Must have been a dismantle.
38:52Basically, it's the same one I've been having since I was 12.
38:55What happens?
38:56No, it's too embarrassing.
38:58Don't tell me.
38:59Okay, there's this guy.
39:01What's he look like?
39:02I don't know, he's just kind of faceless.
39:04Faceless guy, okay, then what?
39:08He rips off my clothes.
39:10Then what happens?
39:12That's it.
39:15That's it?
39:16A faceless guy rips off your clothes, and that's the sex fantasy you've been having since you were 12.
39:21Exactly the same.
39:22Well, sometimes I varied it a little.
39:25Which part?
39:26What I'm wearing.
39:36I have decided that for the rest of the day, we are going to talk like this.
39:43Like this?
39:44No, please, to repeat after me.
39:47Pepper.
39:47Pepper.
39:49Pepper.
39:49Pepper.
39:51Pepper.
39:51Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash.
39:56Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash.
39:59On my paprikash.
40:00But I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.
40:04Oh, no.
40:06But I would be proud...
40:07But I would be proud...
40:08To partake.
40:08To partake.
40:09Of your pecan pie.
40:11Of your pecan pie.
40:12Pecan pie.
40:14Pecan pie.
40:14Pecan pie.
40:15Pecan pie.
40:17Would you like to go to the movies with me tonight?
40:20Would you like to go?
40:21Not to repeat, please, to answer.
40:24Would you like to go to the movies with me tonight?
40:27Oh.
40:28Oh.
40:29Well, I'd love to, Harry, but I can't.
40:32What do you have, a hot date?
40:35Well, yeah.
40:36Yeah.
40:37Really?
40:37Yeah, I was going to tell you about it, but I don't know.
40:40I just, I felt strange about it.
40:42Why?
40:43Well, because we've been spending so much time together.
40:45Oh, I think it's great that you have a date.
40:47You do?
40:48Yeah.
40:56Is that what you're going to wear?
40:57Yeah.
41:00Well, I don't know.
41:01Why?
41:02I think you should wear skirts more.
41:04You look really good in skirts.
41:06I do?
41:07Yeah.
41:10You know, I have a theory that hieroglyphics are really an ancient comic strip about a character
41:14named Sphinxie.
41:16You know, Harry, I think you should get out there, too.
41:18Oh, I'm not ready.
41:19You should.
41:20I would not be good for anybody right now.
41:23It's time.
41:25It was the most uncomfortable night of my life.
41:28So, you know, it has to go this way.
41:31The first date back is always the toughest, Harry.
41:34You only had one date.
41:37How do you know it's not going to get worse?
41:39How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head,
41:44and start flossing with it at the table?
41:45Well, we're talking dream date compared to my horror.
41:49It started out fine.
41:51She's a very nice person.
41:52And we're sitting and we're talking in this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to.
41:56And I was making jokes, you know, like, hey, I didn't know that they had food in Ethiopia.
42:00This will be a quick meal.
42:01I'll order two empty plates and we can leave.
42:04Yeah, nothing from her, not even a smile.
42:06So I downshift in a small talk, and I ask her where she went to school, and she says Michigan
42:10State.
42:11And this reminds me of Helen.
42:13All of a sudden, I'm in the middle of this massive anxiety attack.
42:17My heart's beating like a wild man, and I start sweating like a pig.
42:20Helen went to Michigan State?
42:21No, she went to Northwestern.
42:22But they're both Big Ten schools.
42:25I got so upset, I had to leave the restaurant.
42:30Harry, I think this takes a long time.
42:33It might be months before we're actually able to enjoy going out with someone new.
42:37Yeah.
42:38And maybe longer before we're actually able to go to bed with someone new.
42:41Oh, I went to bed with her.
42:45You went to bed with her?
42:46Sure.
42:49Huh.
42:54I don't understand this relationship.
42:56What do you mean?
42:57You enjoy being with her?
42:58Yeah.
42:59You find her attractive?
43:00Yeah.
43:01And you're not sleeping with her?
43:02No.
43:03You're afraid to let yourself be happy.
43:06Why can't you give me credit for this?
43:07This is a big thing for me.
43:09I never had a relationship with a woman that didn't involve sex.
43:12I feel like I'm growing.
43:13Are you finished?
43:15Hey, I got a whole stack of quarters, and I was here first.
43:17We're not.
43:18Was two.
43:18We're not.
43:19Was two.
43:20You jerk.
43:21A little creep.
43:23Where was I?
43:24You were growing.
43:25Yeah.
43:27It's very freeing.
43:28I can say anything to her.
43:31Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?
43:34No, it's just different.
43:35It's a whole different perspective.
43:37I get the woman's point of view on things.
43:39She tells me about the men that she goes out with, and I can talk to her about the woman
43:42that I see.
43:43You tell her about other women?
43:44Yeah.
43:45Like the other night.
43:46I made love to this woman, and it was so incredible, I took her to a place that was
43:50inhuman.
43:51She actually meowed.
43:53You made a woman meow?
43:54Yeah.
43:55That's the point.
43:56I can say these things to her.
43:57And the great thing is, I don't have to lie, because I'm not always thinking about how
44:01to get her into bed.
44:02I can just be myself.
44:04You made a woman meow?
44:07So what do you do with these women?
44:08You just get up out of bed and leave?
44:10Sure.
44:11Well, explain to me how you do it.
44:13What do you say?
44:14Just having an early meeting, early haircut, early squash game.
44:17You don't play squash.
44:17They don't know that.
44:18They just met me.
44:21That's disgusting.
44:22I know.
44:22I feel terrible.
44:24You know, I'm so glad I never got involved with you.
44:26I just would have ended up being some woman you had to get up out of bed and leave at
44:29three o'clock in the morning and go clean your andirons.
44:32And you don't even have a fireplace.
44:34Not that I would know this.
44:35Why are you getting so upset?
44:37This is not about you.
44:38Yes, it is.
44:39You are a human affront to all women, and I am a woman.
44:42Hey, I don't feel great about this, but I don't hear anyone complaining.
44:45Of course not.
44:46You're out the door too fast.
44:48I think they have an okay time.
44:50How do you know?
44:52I mean, how do I know I know?
44:55Because they...
44:56Yes, because they...
44:59How do you know that they're really...
45:01What are you saying?
45:03That they fake orgasm?
45:04It's possible.
45:06Get out of here.
45:07Why?
45:08Most women at one time or another have faked it.
45:10Well, they haven't faked it with me.
45:12How do you know?
45:15Because I know.
45:18Oh.
45:19Right.
45:20That's right.
45:21I forgot.
45:22You're a man.
45:23What is that supposed to mean?
45:25Nothing.
45:26It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them,
45:28and most women at one time or another have done it,
45:30so you do the math.
45:32You don't think that I can tell a difference?
45:35No.
45:35Get out of here.
45:49Are you okay?
45:54Are you okay?
46:06Oh.
46:09Oh.
46:10Oh.
46:11Oh.
46:12Oh, yeah, right there.
46:14Oh.
46:16Oh.
46:19Oh.
46:20Oh.
46:21Oh, God.
46:22Oh.
46:23Yes.
46:24Yes.
46:25Yes.
46:26Yes.
46:27Yes.
46:29Oh.
46:31Oh.
46:32Oh.
46:33Yes.
46:34Yes.
46:35Oh.
46:36Yes.
46:38Yes.
46:39Yes.
46:40Yes.
46:41Yes.
46:41Yes!
46:42Oh!
46:43Oh!
46:44Oh!
46:45Oh, God.
46:47Oh.
46:57I'll have what she's having.
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