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When Harry Met Sally... (1989) Part One (ENG) HD [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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02:00I'm going to marry her and two weeks later we were married and it's over 50 years later
02:08and we are still married.
02:16It's very clear
02:20I love this year to stay
02:24I love you.
02:26I love you.
02:26Not for a whole year
02:30Whatever and the day
02:35Oh, the radio and the telephone
02:59Oh, hi, Sally.
03:03Sally, this is Harry Burns.
03:05Harry, this is Sally Albright.
03:06Nice to meet you.
03:08You want to drive the first shift?
03:09No, you're there already.
03:10You can start.
03:11Back's open.
03:14Call me.
03:16I'll call you as soon as I get there.
03:18Oh, call me from the road.
03:20I'll call you before then.
03:22I love you.
03:23I love you.
03:24I love you.
03:29Sorry.
03:31I miss you already.
03:32Bye.
03:32I miss you already.
03:34Bye.
03:35Bye.
03:36Bye.
03:53I have it all figured out.
03:55It's an 18-hour trip
03:56which breaks down into six shifts of three hours each
03:58or alternatively we could break it down by mileage.
04:02There's a map on the visor
04:06that I've marked to show the locations
04:08where we can change shifts.
04:10Great.
04:12No, I don't like to eat between meals.
04:19I'll roll down the window.
04:29Why don't you tell me the story of your life?
04:34Story of my life?
04:35We've got 18 hours to kill before we hit New York.
04:38The story of my life isn't even going to get us out of Chicago.
04:41I mean, nothing's happened to me yet.
04:43That's why I'm going to New York.
04:44So something can happen to you?
04:45Yes.
04:45Like what?
04:47Like I'm going to journalism school to become a reporter.
04:49So you can write about things that happen to other people.
04:53That's one way to look at it.
04:55Suppose nothing happens to you.
04:57Suppose you've lived there your whole life
04:58and nothing happens,
04:58you never meet anybody,
04:59you never become anything,
05:00and finally you die one of those New York deaths
05:02that nobody notices for two weeks
05:04until the smell drifts into the hallway.
05:09Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
05:11That's what drew to me.
05:12Your dark side?
05:13Sure.
05:13Why don't you have a dark side?
05:16You're probably one of those cheerful people
05:17with doubts that arise with little hearts.
05:19I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.
05:22Oh, really?
05:23When I buy a new book,
05:24I always read the last page first.
05:26That way, in case I die,
05:27before I finish, I know how it ends.
05:28That, my friend, is a dark side.
05:31That doesn't mean you're deep or anything.
05:33I mean, yes, basically I'm a happy person.
05:36So am I.
05:36And I don't see that there's anything wrong with that.
05:38Of course not.
05:39You're too busy being happy.
05:40You ever think about death?
05:42Yes.
05:43Sure you do.
05:43A fleeting thought that drifts in and out
05:45of the transom of your mind.
05:46I spend hours.
05:47I spend days.
05:48And you think this makes you a better person?
05:50No.
05:51When the shit comes down,
05:52I'm gonna be prepared,
05:52and you're not.
05:53That's all I'm saying.
05:54In the meantime,
05:54you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it.
06:05You're wrong.
06:06I'm not wrong.
06:07You're wrong.
06:08He wants her to leave.
06:09That's why he puts her on the plane.
06:10I don't think she wants to stay.
06:12Of course she wants to stay.
06:13Wouldn't you rather be with Humphrey Bogart
06:15than the other guy?
06:16I don't want to spend the rest of my life
06:18in Casablanca,
06:19married to a man who runs a bar.
06:21That probably sounds very snobbish to you,
06:23but I don't.
06:24You'd rather be in a passionless marriage.
06:26And be the first lady of Czechoslovakia.
06:28Then live with a man you've had
06:29the greatest sex of your life with
06:31just because he owns a bar
06:32and that is all he does.
06:34Yes.
06:35And so with any woman in her right mind,
06:37women are very practical,
06:39even Ingrid Bergman,
06:40which is why she gets on the plane
06:41at the end of the movie.
06:46I understand.
06:49What?
06:50What?
06:51Nothing.
06:52What?
06:53Forget about it.
06:54What?
06:55Forget about what?
06:56It's not important.
06:57Just tell me.
06:59Obviously, you haven't had great sex yet.
07:02Two, please.
07:04Right over there.
07:04Yes, I have.
07:06No, you haven't.
07:07It just so happens
07:08that I have had plenty of good sex.
07:29With whom?
07:31What?
07:32With whom did you have this great sex?
07:35I'm not gonna tell you that.
07:37Fine, don't tell me.
07:45Shell Gordon.
07:47Shell?
07:48Sheldon?
07:48No.
07:49No, you did not have great sex with Sheldon.
07:52I did, too.
07:53No, you didn't.
07:55A Sheldon can do you income taxes.
07:57If you need a root canal,
07:59Sheldon's your name.
08:00But humping and pumping
08:00is not Sheldon's strong suit.
08:02It's a name.
08:03Do it to me, Sheldon.
08:04You're an animal, Sheldon.
08:05Ride me big, Sheldon.
08:08Doesn't work.
08:09Hi.
08:11What can I get you?
08:12I'll have a number three.
08:14I'd like the chef salad, please,
08:16with the oil and vinegar on the side
08:17and the apple pie a la mode.
08:19Chef, an apple a la mode.
08:22But I'd like the pie heated,
08:23and I don't want the ice cream on top.
08:25I want it on the side,
08:26and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it.
08:28If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream,
08:30but only if it's real.
08:31If it's out of a can, then nothing.
08:33Not even the pie?
08:34No, just the pie, but then not heated.
08:37Uh-huh.
08:37Come on.
08:43What?
08:44Nothing, nothing.
08:48So how come you broke up with Sheldon?
08:50How do you know we broke up?
08:51Because if you didn't break up,
08:53you wouldn't be here with me.
08:54You'd be off with Sheldon the Wonderschlag.
08:57First of all, I am not with you.
09:00And second of all,
09:02it is none of your business why we broke up.
09:04You're right, you're right.
09:06I don't want to know.
09:10Well, if you must know,
09:12it was because he was very jealous,
09:13and I had these days of the week underpants.
09:16I'm sorry, I need the judges ruling on this.
09:18Days of the week underpants.
09:20Yes.
09:21They had the days of the week on them,
09:22and I thought they were sort of funny.
09:24And then one day, Sheldon says to me,
09:26you never wear Sunday.
09:28It's all suspicious.
09:29Where was Sunday?
09:30Where had I left Sunday?
09:31And I told him, and he didn't believe me.
09:34What?
09:35They don't make Sunday.
09:37Why not?
09:39Because of God.
09:45Okay, so 15% of my share is...
09:49$96.
09:55It's what you said.
10:00What?
10:03Do I have something on my face?
10:06You're a very attractive person.
10:12Amanda never said how attractive you are.
10:15Well, maybe she doesn't think I'm attractive.
10:17I don't think it's a matter of opinion.
10:19Empirically, you are attractive.
10:24Amanda is my friend.
10:26So?
10:27So you're going with her.
10:29So?
10:30So you're coming on to meet me.
10:33No, I wasn't.
10:36What?
10:38Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come on?
10:42All right, all right.
10:44Let's just say, just for the sake of argument, that it was a come on.
10:48What do you want me to do about it?
10:50I take it back, okay?
10:52I take it back.
10:53You can't take it back.
10:54Why not?
10:55Because it's already out there.
10:57Oh, geez, what are we supposed to do?
10:59Call the cops?
11:00It's already out there.
11:01Just let it lie.
11:04Okay?
11:05Great.
11:06Let it lie.
11:07That's my policy.
11:09That's what I always say.
11:10Let it lie.
11:12Want to spend the night in a motel?
11:14See what I did?
11:15I didn't let it lie.
11:16Harry.
11:16I said I would and then I didn't.
11:17Harry.
11:18I went the other way.
11:18Harry.
11:19What?
11:20We are just going to be friends, okay?
11:23Great, friends.
11:23It's the best thing.
11:26You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
11:29Why not?
11:31What I'm saying is, and this is not a come on in any way, shape, or form,
11:35is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
11:42That's not true.
11:43I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
11:47No, you don't.
11:47Yes, I do.
11:48No, you don't.
11:48Yes, I do.
11:49I only think you do.
11:50You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
11:53No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
11:56They do not.
11:57Do, too.
11:58They do not.
11:59Do, too.
12:00How do you know?
12:01Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive.
12:04He always wants to have sex with her.
12:07So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
12:12No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
12:16What if they don't want to have sex with you?
12:18It doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there,
12:21so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.
12:25Well, I guess we're not going to be friends, then.
12:27Guess not.
12:28That's too bad.
12:30You were the only person that I knew in New York.
12:32You say neither, I say either.
12:37You say neither, and I say neither.
12:40Neither, either, neither, neither.
12:44And let's call the whole thing off.
12:47Yes, you like potato.
12:50I like potato.
12:52You like tomato.
12:54I like tomato.
12:56Potato, potato, tomato, tomato.
13:00And let's call the whole thing off.
13:11Thanks for the ride.
13:13Yeah, it was interesting.
13:15It was nice knowing you.
13:17Yeah.
13:27Well, have a nice life.
13:30You too.
13:31You too.
13:49We fell in love in high school.
13:51Yeah, we were high school sweethearts.
13:53But then after our junior year,
14:12it was just as though not a single day had gone by.
14:16She was just as beautiful as she was at 16.
14:20He was just the same.
14:23He looked exactly the same.
14:36He looked for each other in the same way then.
14:42But I can't remember when or when.
14:58Joe, I thought it was you.
15:00I thought it was you, Harry Burns.
15:02Harry, Harry, how you doing?
15:03Good.
15:04How you doing?
15:05I'm fine.
15:05I'm doing fine.
15:06That's great.
15:07I was just walking by, and I thought it was you,
15:08and there it is.
15:09It's you.
15:09Yeah, yeah, it was.
15:11You still with the DA's office?
15:12No, I switched to the other side.
15:14What about you?
15:15I work with a small firm.
15:16We do political consulting.
15:18Yeah, it's been great.
15:21Oh, Harry, this is Sally Albright, Harry Burns.
15:24Harry and I, we used to live in the same building.
15:27Yeah.
15:31Well, listen, I got a plane to catch.
15:32It was really good to see you, Joe.
15:33You too, Harry.
15:34Bye.
15:42Thank God he couldn't place me.
15:43I drove from college to New York with him five years ago,
15:46and it was the longest night of my life.
15:50What happened?
15:51He made a pass at me, and when I said no,
15:53he was going with a girlfriend of mine.
15:57Oh, God, I can't remember her name.
16:00Don't get involved with me, Joe.
16:02I am 26 years old, and I can't even remember
16:04the name of the girl I was such good friends with,
16:06I wouldn't get involved with her boyfriend.
16:08So what happened?
16:10When?
16:11When he made a pass at you, you said no.
16:13Oh, oh.
16:14I said we could just be friends.
16:17And this part I remember.
16:18He said that men and women could never really be friends.
16:22Do you think that's true?
16:25No.
16:27Do you have any women friends, just friends?
16:30No.
16:32But I will get one if it's important.
16:37I will get one if it's important.
16:38Amanda Reese, that was her name.
16:40Thank God.
16:42I will miss you.
16:43I love you.
16:45You do?
16:47Yes.
16:50I love you.
16:52I love you.
16:55I love you.
16:56I love you.
16:57I love you.
17:00I love you.
17:01I love you.
17:16And what would you like to drink?
17:17Nothing, thanks.
17:19Do you have any Bloody Mary mix?
17:20Yes.
17:21No.
17:21Wait.
17:22Here's what I want.
17:24Regular tomato juice, filled up about three quarters,
17:26then add a splash of Bloody Mary mix,
17:28just a splash, and a little piece of lime, but on the side.
17:31The University of Chicago, right?
17:34Yes.
17:35Did you look this good at the University of Chicago?
17:38No.
17:39Did we ever...
17:41No.
17:41No.
17:43We drove from Chicago to New York together after graduation.
17:47Would you two like to sit together?
17:49Great.
17:50Great.
17:57You were a good friend of, um...
18:01Amanda's.
18:02I can't believe you can't remember her name.
18:04What do you mean?
18:05I can remember Amanda, right?
18:06Amanda Rice.
18:07Reese.
18:07Reese, right.
18:08That's what I said.
18:08Whatever happened to her?
18:09I have no idea.
18:11You have no idea?
18:12You were really good friends with her.
18:14We didn't make it because you were such good friends.
18:16You went with her.
18:17And was it worth it, the sacrifice for a friend
18:19that you don't even keep in touch with?
18:21Harry, you might not believe this,
18:23but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.
18:27Fair enough.
18:29Fair enough.
18:33You were gonna be a gymnast.
18:34A journalist.
18:35Right, that's what I said.
18:36And?
18:37I am a journalist.
18:38I work at the news.
18:39Great.
18:40And you're with Joe.
18:42Well, that's great.
18:44Great.
18:45You're together, what, three weeks?
18:48A month.
18:49How did you know that?
18:51You take someone to the airport,
18:52it's clearly the beginning of a relationship.
18:54That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport
18:56at the beginning of a relationship.
18:58Why?
18:59Because eventually things move on
19:00and you don't take someone to the airport
19:02and I never wanted anyone to say to me,
19:04how come you never take me to the airport anymore?
19:07It's amazing.
19:08You look like a normal person,
19:10but actually you are the angel of death.
19:13Are you gonna marry him?
19:16We have only known each other for a month
19:18and besides,
19:18neither one of us is looking to get married right now.
19:21I'm getting married.
19:22You are?
19:23Mm-hmm.
19:25You are?
19:26Yeah.
19:28Who is she?
19:29Helen Hilson.
19:30She's a lawyer.
19:31She's keeping her name.
19:33You're getting married.
19:35Yeah.
19:37What's so funny about that?
19:38It's, yeah.
19:42It's just so optimistic of you, Harry.
19:44Well, you'd be amazed
19:45what falling madly in love can do for you.
19:47Well, it's wonderful.
19:49It's nice to see you embracing life in this manner.
19:51Yeah, plus, you know,
19:52you just get to a certain point
19:53where you get tired of the whole thing.
19:55What whole thing?
19:57The whole life of a single guy thing.
19:59You meet someone,
20:00you have the safe lunch,
20:01you decide you like each other enough
20:02to move on to dinner.
20:03You go dancing,
20:04you do the white man's overbite,
20:07go back to her place,
20:08you have sex,
20:09and the minute you're finished,
20:10you know what goes through your mind?
20:11How long do I have to lie here
20:13and hold her before I can get up
20:14and go home?
20:15Is 30 seconds enough?
20:17That's what you're thinking?
20:19Is that true?
20:20Sure.
20:21All men think that.
20:23How long do you like to be held afterwards?
20:25All night, right?
20:26See, that's the problem.
20:27Somewhere between 30 seconds
20:29and all night is your problem.
20:30I don't have a problem.
20:32Yeah, either.
20:41I don't have a problem.
20:48This thing over?
20:50Yes.
20:51Would you like to have dinner?
20:53Just friends?
20:54I thought you didn't believe
20:56men and women could be friends.
20:57When did I say that?
20:58On the ride to New York.
20:59No, no, no, no.
21:00I never said this.
21:03Yes, that's right.
21:04They can't be friends.
21:06Unless both of them
21:07are involved with other people
21:08then they can.
21:09This is an amendment
21:10to the earlier rule.
21:11If the two people
21:12are in relationships,
21:13the pressure of possible involvement
21:14is lifted.
21:16That doesn't work either
21:17because what happens then
21:18is the person you're involved with
21:19can't understand
21:20why you need to be friends
21:21with the person you're just friends with.
21:22Like it means something
21:23is missing from the relationship
21:24and wanting to go outside to get it.
21:26Then when you say,
21:27no, no, no, no, it's not true.
21:28Nothing is missing from the relationship.
21:29The person you're involved with
21:30then accuses you
21:31of being secretly attracted
21:32to the person you're just friends with.
21:34Which it probably are.
21:35I mean, come on.
21:35Who the hell are we kidding?
21:36Let's face it.
21:37Which brings us back
21:38to the earlier rule
21:38before the amendment
21:39which is men and women
21:40can't be friends.
21:41So where does it leave us?
21:42Harry?
21:44Goodbye.
21:46Okay.
21:54I'll just stop walking.
21:56I'll let you go ahead.
22:01We were married 40 years ago.
22:04We were married three years.
22:05We got a divorce.
22:06Then I married Marjorie.
22:08But first you lived with Barbara.
22:09Right, Barbara.
22:10But I didn't marry Barbara.
22:12I married Marjorie.
22:13Then you got a divorce.
22:15Right.
22:15Then I married Katie.
22:16Another divorce.
22:18Then a couple of years later
22:19at Eddie Colicchio's funeral
22:21I ran into her.
22:23I was with some girl
22:24I don't even remember.
22:26Roberta.
22:27Right.
22:28Roberta.
22:29But I couldn't take my eyes off you.
22:31I remember
22:32I snuck over to her
22:33and I said
22:35what did I say?
22:36You said
22:37what are you doing after?
22:38Right.
22:39So I ditched Roberta
22:40we go for coffee
22:41a month later
22:42we're married.
22:4335 years today
22:44after our first marriage.
22:49I went through his pockets, okay?
22:51Mommy, why do you go through his pockets?
22:53You know what I found?
22:54You know what?
22:55They just bought a dining room table.
22:56He and his wife
22:57just went out
22:57and spent $1,600
22:58on a dining room table.
23:00Where?
23:01The point isn't where, Alice.
23:03The point is
23:03he's never gonna leave her.
23:05So what else is new?
23:06You've known this for two years.
23:08You're right.
23:08You're right.
23:09I know you're right.
23:10Why can't you find someone single?
23:12When I was single
23:12I knew lots of nice single men.
23:14There must be someone.
23:16Sally found someone.
23:17Well, Sally got the last good one.
23:19Joe and I broke up.
23:21What?
23:22When?
23:22Monday.
23:23You waited three days
23:24to tell us?
23:25You mean Joe's available?
23:26For God's sakes, Marie
23:27don't you have any feelings about this?
23:29She's obviously upset.
23:30I'm not that upset.
23:31We've been growing apart
23:32for quite a while.
23:33What?
23:33You guys were a couple.
23:35You had someone to go places with.
23:36You had a date
23:37on national holidays.
23:38I said to myself
23:40you deserve more than this.
23:41You're 31 years old.
23:42And the clock is ticking.
23:44No, the clock doesn't really
23:45start to tick
23:45until you're 36.
23:47God, you're in such great shape.
23:49Well, I've had a few days
23:50to get used to it
23:51and I feel okay.
23:54Good.
23:54Then you're ready.
23:57Really, Marie?
23:59Well, how else
23:59do you think you'd do it?
24:00I've got the perfect guy.
24:02I don't happen
24:03to find him attractive
24:04but you might.
24:04She doesn't have
24:05a problem with chins.
24:07Marie, I'm not ready yet.
24:09You just said
24:09you were over him.
24:10I am over him
24:12but I'm in a mourning period.
24:16Who is it?
24:18Alex Anderson.
24:19Oh!
24:20You fixed me up
24:21with him six years ago.
24:23I'm sorry.
24:25God.
24:26All right, wait.
24:27Here.
24:27Here we go.
24:28Ken Darman.
24:30He's been married
24:31for over a year.
24:32Really?
24:35Married.
24:36Oh, wait.
24:37Wait, wait.
24:38Look, I got one.
24:39There is no point
24:40in my going out
24:41with someone
24:41I might really like
24:42if I met him
24:43at the right time
24:43but who right now
24:44has no chance
24:45of being anything to me
24:46but a transitional man.
24:47Okay.
24:48But don't wait too long.
24:50Remember what happened
24:51with David Warsaw?
24:52His wife left him
24:53and everyone said
24:54give him some time,
24:55don't move in too fast.
24:57Six months later,
24:58he was dead.
25:00What are you saying?
25:00I should get married
25:01to someone right away
25:02in case he's about to die?
25:03At least you could say
25:04you were married.
25:06I'm saying
25:07that the right man
25:08for you might be
25:09out there right now
25:09and if you don't grab him,
25:11someone else will
25:11and you'll have to spend
25:12the rest of your life
25:13knowing that someone else
25:14is married to your husband.
25:21Let's...
25:37When did this happen?
25:39Friday.
25:40Helen comes home from work
25:41and she says,
25:42I don't know
25:43if I want to be married anymore.
25:45Like it's the institution.
25:46You know,
25:46like it's nothing personal,
25:47just something
25:48she's been thinking about
25:49in a casual way.
25:50I'm calm.
25:51I say,
25:52why don't we take
25:53some time to think about it?
25:54You know,
25:54don't rush into anything.
25:55Yeah, right.
25:56Next day,
25:57she says she's thought about it
25:58and she wants
25:59a trial separation.
26:00She just wants to try it,
26:01she says,
26:02but we can still date.
26:03Like this is supposed
26:04to cushion the blow.
26:05I mean,
26:06I got married
26:06so I could stop dating.
26:07So I don't see
26:08where we can still date
26:09as any big incentive
26:10since the last thing
26:11you want to do
26:11is date your wife
26:12who's supposed to love you,
26:13which is what I'm saying
26:14when it occurs to me
26:15that maybe she doesn't.
26:17So I say to her,
26:19don't you love me anymore?
26:20Do you know what she says?
26:21I don't know
26:22if I've ever loved you.
26:24Ooh, that's harsh.
26:26Don't bounce back
26:27from that right away.
26:28Thanks, Jess.
26:29No, I'm a writer.
26:30I know dialogue
26:31and that's particularly harsh.
26:33Then she tells me
26:34that somebody in her office
26:35is going to South America
26:36and she can sublet his apartment.
26:38I can't believe this.
26:39And the doorbell rings.
26:41I can sublet his apartment.
26:42The words are still
26:43hanging in the air,
26:44you know,
26:44like in a balloon
26:45attached to a mouth.
26:46Like a cartoon.
26:47Right.
26:47So I go to the door
26:48and there are moving men there.
26:50Now I start to get suspicious.
26:52I say,
26:53Helen,
26:53when did you call these movers?
26:55And she doesn't say anything.
26:56So I ask the movers,
26:57when did this woman
26:58book you for this gig?
26:59And they're just standing here,
27:00three huge guys,
27:01one of them wearing a t-shirt
27:02that says,
27:03don't fuck with Mr. Zero.
27:04So I said,
27:05Helen,
27:06when did you make this arrangement?
27:08She says,
27:09a week ago.
27:10I said,
27:11you've known for a week?
27:12And you didn't tell me?
27:13And she says,
27:14I didn't want to ruin
27:15your birthday.
27:19You're saying Mr. Zero
27:20knew you were getting
27:21a divorce a week
27:22before you did?
27:23Mr. Zero, no.
27:24I can't believe this.
27:25I haven't told you
27:25the bad part yet.
27:26What could be worse
27:27than Mr. Zero knowing?
27:29It's all a lie.
27:32She's in love
27:32with somebody else,
27:34some tax attorney.
27:36She moved in with him.
27:37How did you find out?
27:40I followed her.
27:41I stood outside the building.
27:42So you're a million.
27:44Tell me not.
27:45And you know I knew?
27:47I knew the whole time
27:48that even though we were happy
27:49it was just an illusion
27:50and that one day
27:51she would kick the shit
27:51out of me.
27:53Marriages don't break up
27:54on account of infidelity.
27:56It's just a symptom
27:57that something else is wrong.
27:58Really?
27:59Well,
27:59that symptom
28:00is fucking my wife.
28:05So I just happened
28:07to see his
28:07American Express bill.
28:10What do you mean
28:11you just happened
28:11to see it?
28:12Well,
28:13he was shaving
28:14and there it was
28:15in his briefcase.
28:16What if he came out
28:17and saw you
28:18looking through
28:18his briefcase?
28:19You're missing the point
28:20of telling you
28:21what I found.
28:22He just spent
28:24$120
28:24on a new night count
28:26for his wife.
28:28I don't think
28:29he's ever gonna
28:30leave her.
28:31No one thinks
28:32he's ever gonna
28:32leave her.
28:33You're right.
28:34You're right.
28:35I know you're right.
28:52Someone is staring
28:53at you
28:53in personal growth.
28:58I know him.
29:00You'd like him.
29:00He's married.
29:02Who is he?
29:04Harry Burns.
29:05He's a political
29:05consultant.
29:07He's cute.
29:08You think he's cute?
29:10How do you know
29:11he's married?
29:12It was last time
29:13I saw him
29:13he was getting married.
29:14When was that?
29:16Six years ago.
29:18So he might not
29:18be married anymore.
29:21Also,
29:21he's obnoxious.
29:22Well,
29:23this is just like
29:24in the movies,
29:24remember?
29:25The lady vanishes
29:25when she says to him,
29:26you're the most obnoxious
29:27man I've ever met.
29:27The most contemptible.
29:28Then they fall madly
29:30in love.
29:30Also,
29:31he never remembers me.
29:32Sally Albright.
29:36Hi, Harry.
29:37I thought it was you.
29:38It is.
29:39Yeah.
29:40This is Marie.
29:42What is Marie?
29:44How are you?
29:45Fine.
29:46How's Joe?
29:48Fine.
29:49I hear he's fine.
29:51You're not with Joe anymore?
29:53We just broke up.
29:55Oh.
29:56I'm sorry.
29:57That's too bad.
29:59Yeah.
30:00Well, you know.
30:02Yeah.
30:03So,
30:05what about you?
30:07I'm fine.
30:08How's married life?
30:11Not so good.
30:12But I am getting a divorce.
30:14Oh, I'm sorry.
30:16No, I'm really sorry.
30:19Yeah, well,
30:19what are you gonna do?
30:22What happened to you guys?
30:24When Joe and I
30:24started seeing each other,
30:25we wanted exactly
30:26the same thing.
30:28We wanted to live together,
30:29but we didn't want
30:30to get married
30:30because every time
30:31anyone we knew
30:32got married,
30:32it ruined their relationship.
30:34They practically
30:34never had sex again.
30:36It's true.
30:37It's one of the secrets
30:38that no one ever tells you.
30:40I would sit around
30:41with my girlfriend
30:42who have kids
30:42and actually,
30:44my one girlfriend
30:44who has kids,
30:45Alice,
30:46and she would complain
30:47about how she and Gary
30:48never did it anymore.
30:50She didn't even complain
30:51about it now
30:52that I think about it.
30:53She just said it
30:53matter-of-factly.
30:54She said they were
30:55up all night,
30:56they were both
30:56exhausted all the time,
30:57the kids just took
30:58every sexual impulse
30:59they had out of them.
31:03Joe and I used
31:04to talk about it
31:04and we'd say,
31:05we're so lucky
31:06we have this
31:06wonderful relationship.
31:07We can have sex
31:09on the kitchen floor
31:10and not worry
31:10about the kids
31:11walking in.
31:12We can fly off
31:13to Rome
31:13on a moment's notice.
31:17And then one day
31:18I was taking Alice's
31:19little girl
31:20for the afternoon
31:20because I promised
31:21to take her
31:21to the circus
31:22and we were in the cab
31:24playing I spy.
31:26I spy a mailbox,
31:27I spy a lamppost.
31:29And she looked
31:30out the window
31:31and she saw
31:31this man and this woman
31:33with these two little kids
31:34and the man had
31:35one of the little kids
31:36on his shoulders.
31:37And she said,
31:39I spy a family.
31:42And I started to cry.
31:44You know,
31:45I just started crying.
31:48And I went home
31:49and I said,
31:50the thing is,
31:51Joe,
31:51we never do fly off
31:52to Rome
31:52on a moment's notice.
31:54And the kitchen floor?
31:56Not once.
31:58It's this very cold,
31:59hard Mexican ceramic tile.
32:02Hmm.
32:04Anyway,
32:05we talked about it
32:06for a long time
32:07and I said,
32:08this is what I want
32:09and he said,
32:09well, I don't.
32:11And I said,
32:12well, I guess it's over
32:12and he left.
32:17And the thing is,
32:18I feel really fine.
32:21I am over him.
32:22I mean,
32:23I really am over him.
32:24That was it for him.
32:26That was the most
32:26that he could give
32:28and every time
32:29I think about it,
32:29I am more and more
32:30convinced that I did
32:31the right thing.
32:33Boy,
32:33you sound really healthy.
32:35Yeah.
32:37At least I got the apartment.
32:39That's what everybody
32:40says to me, too.
32:41But really,
32:41what's so hard
32:42about finding an apartment?
32:44What you do is
32:44you read the obituary column.
32:46You find out who died,
32:47go to the building,
32:48and then you tip the dormant.
32:50What they could do
32:50to make it easier
32:51is combine the obituaries
32:52with the real estate section.
32:54See,
32:54then you have Mr. Klein died
32:55today leaving a wife,
32:56two children,
32:57and a spacious
32:58three-bedroom apartment
32:59with a wood-burning fireplace.
33:00See?
33:05You know,
33:05the first time we met,
33:06I really didn't like you
33:07that much.
33:08I didn't like you.
33:09Yeah, you did.
33:09You were just so uptight then.
33:11You're much softer now.
33:13You know,
33:14I hate that kind of remark.
33:15It sounds like a compliment,
33:16but really,
33:17it's an insult.
33:17Okay.
33:18You're still as hard as dance.
33:20I just didn't want
33:21to sleep with you,
33:21and you had to write it off
33:22as a character flaw
33:23instead of dealing
33:24with the possibility
33:25that it might have
33:25something to do with you.
33:29What's the statute
33:30of limitations
33:30and apologies?
33:33Ten years.
33:34Ooh,
33:35I can just get it
33:35in under the water.
33:42Would you like
33:42to have dinner
33:43with me sometime?
33:45Are we becoming
33:46friends now?
33:49Well,
33:52yeah.
33:55Grace,
33:56a woman friend.
33:59You know,
33:59you may be the first
34:00attractive woman
34:01I have not wanted
34:01to sleep with
34:02in my entire life.
34:04That's wonderful,
34:05Harry.
34:08We were both born
34:09in the same hospital.
34:101921.
34:11Seven days apart.
34:12In the same hospital.
34:14We both grew up
34:15one block away
34:16from each other.
34:17On the Lower East Side.
34:18On Delancey Street.
34:20My family moved
34:21to the Bronx
34:21when I was 10.
34:22He lived on Fordham Road.
34:23Hers moved
34:24when she was 11.
34:25I lived on 183rd Street.
34:26For six years,
34:27she worked
34:28on the 15th floor
34:29as a nurse
34:31where I had a practice
34:33on the 14th floor
34:34in the very same building.
34:35We never met.
34:37Never met.
34:37Can you imagine that?
34:39You know where we met?
34:40In an elevator.
34:41I was visiting family.
34:42In the Ambassador Hotel
34:43in Chicago
34:44with the noise.
34:44He was on the third floor.
34:46I was on the 12th.
34:47I wrote up nine extra floors
34:49just to keep talking to her.
34:51Nine extra floors.
35:03Hello?
35:04Are you sleeping?
35:06No, I was watching Casablanca.
35:08Channel, please.
35:0911.
35:11Got it.
35:12Now, you're telling me
35:13you would be happy
35:14with Victor Laszlo
35:14than with Humphrey Bogart.
35:16When did I say that?
35:17When we drove to New York.
35:19I never said that.
35:20I would never have said that.
35:21All right, fine.
35:22Have it your way.
35:25Have you been sleeping?
35:27Why?
35:28Because I haven't been sleeping.
35:30I really miss Helen.
35:33Maybe I'm coming down
35:34or something.
35:35Last night,
35:35I was up at four in the morning
35:36watching Levert the Beaver
35:37in Spanish.
35:39Buenos dÃas, señor Kleber.
35:40¿Dónde está el Wallace
35:41or Theodore?
35:42I'm not well.
35:44Well, I went to bed
35:45at 7.30 last night.
35:46I haven't done that
35:47since the third grade.
35:48Well, that's the good thing
35:49about depression.
35:49Get your rest.
35:51I'm not depressed.
35:53Okay, fine.
35:54Do you still sleep
35:55on the same side of the bed?
35:57I did for a while,
35:58but now I'm pretty much
35:59using the whole bed.
36:00God, that's great.
36:02I feel weird
36:03when just my leg wanders over.
36:06I miss her.
36:08I don't miss him.
36:09I really don't.
36:10Not even a little?
36:12You know what I miss?
36:14I miss the idea of him.
36:18Maybe I only miss
36:19the idea, Villa.
36:21No, I miss the whole Ellen.
36:27Last scene.
36:35Oh, Ingrid Bergman.
36:37Now, she's low-maintenance.
36:39Low-maintenance?
36:40There are two kinds of women.
36:41High-maintenance
36:42and low-maintenance.
36:44And Ingrid Bergman
36:44is low-maintenance?
36:46NLM, definitely.
36:48Which one am I?
36:49You're the worst kind.
36:50You're high-maintenance,
36:51but you think
36:52you're low-maintenance.
36:53I don't see that.
36:54You don't see that?
36:55Waiter, I'll begin
36:56with a house salad,
36:57but I don't want
36:58the regular dressing.
36:59I'll have the balsamic
36:59vinegar and oil,
37:00but on the side.
37:01And then the salmon
37:02with the mustard sauce,
37:03but I want the mustard sauce
37:04on the side.
37:05On the side
37:05is a very big thing for you.
37:07Well, I just want it
37:08the way I want it.
37:09I know.
37:09High-maintenance.
37:22Oh, best last line
37:23of a movie ever.
37:28I'm definitely
37:29coming down with something.
37:30Probably a 24-hour tumor
37:32they're going around.
37:33You don't have a tumor.
37:34How do you know?
37:35If you're so worried,
37:36go see a doctor.
37:37No, he'll just tell me
37:38it's nothing.
37:40Will you be able to sleep?
37:41If not, I'll be okay.
37:43What'll you do?
37:44I'll stay up and moan.
37:46Maybe I should practice now.
37:54Good night, Harry.
37:57Good night.
38:34I had my dream again,
38:36where I'm making love
38:37and the Olympic judges
38:38are watching.
38:39I'd nailed the compulsory,
38:40so this is it,
38:41the finals.
38:42I got a 9-8 from the Canadian,
38:44a perfect 10 from the American,
38:46and my mother,
38:46disguised as an East German judge,
38:48gave me a 5-6.
38:49Must have been a dismantle.
38:52Basically, it's the same one
38:53I've been having
38:54since I was 12.
38:55What happens?
38:56No, it's too embarrassing.
38:58Don't tell me.
38:59Okay, there's this guy.
39:01What's he look like?
39:02I don't know.
39:03He's just kind of faceless.
39:04Faceless guy, okay.
39:06Then what?
39:08He rips off my clothes.
39:10Then what happens?
39:12That's it.
39:15That's it?
39:16A faceless guy
39:17rips off your clothes,
39:18and that's the sex fantasy
39:19you've been having
39:19since you were 12.
39:21Exactly the same.
39:22Well, sometimes
39:23I varied it a little.
39:25Which part?
39:26What I'm wearing.
39:36I have decided
39:38that for the rest of the day
39:40we are going to talk
39:42like this.
39:43Like this?
39:44No.
39:45Please, to repeat after me.
39:47Pepper?
39:47Pepper?
39:48Pepper.
39:49Pepper.
39:51Pepper.
39:51Waiter,
39:52there is too much pepper
39:53on my paprikash.
39:56Waiter,
39:56there is too much pepper
39:57on my paprikash.
39:59On my paprikash.
40:00But I would be proud
40:01to partake
40:02of your pecan pie.
40:04Oh, no.
40:06But I would be proud
40:08to partake
40:08of your pecan pie.
40:11Of your pecan pie.
40:13Pecan pie.
40:14Pecan pie.
40:14Pecan pie.
40:15Pecan pie.
40:18Would you like
40:18to go to the movies
40:19with me tonight?
40:20Would you like to go?
40:22Not to repeat,
40:23please, to answer.
40:24Would you like to go
40:25to the movies
40:25with me tonight?
40:27Oh.
40:28Oh.
40:30Well, I'd love to, Harry,
40:31but I can't.
40:32What do you have?
40:33A hot date?
40:35Well, yeah.
40:36Yeah.
40:37Really?
40:38Yeah.
40:38I was going to tell you
40:39about it,
40:39but I don't know.
40:40I just...
40:40I felt strange about it.
40:42Why?
40:43Well, because we've been
40:43spending so much time together.
40:45Oh, I think it's great
40:46that you have a date.
40:47You do?
40:48Yeah.
40:56Is that what you're
40:57going to wear?
40:57Yeah.
40:59Well, I don't know.
41:01Why?
41:02I think you should
41:03wear skirts more.
41:04You look really good
41:05in skirts.
41:06I do?
41:07Yeah.
41:10You know,
41:11I have a theory
41:11that hieroglyphics
41:12are really an ancient
41:13comic strip about
41:14a character named
41:14Sphinxie.
41:15You know, Harry,
41:16I think you should
41:17get out there, too.
41:18Oh, I'm not ready.
41:19You should.
41:20I would not be good
41:21for anybody right now.
41:23It's time.
41:25It was the most
41:26uncomfortable night
41:27of my life.
41:28So, you know,
41:29it has to go this way.
41:31The first date back
41:33is always a toughness, Harry.
41:34You only had one date.
41:37How do you know
41:37it's not going to get worse?
41:39How much worse
41:40can it get
41:40than finishing dinner,
41:41having him reach over,
41:42pull a hair out of my head,
41:44and start flossing
41:44with it at the table?
41:45Well, we're talking
41:46dream date
41:47compared to my horror.
41:49It started out fine.
41:51She's a very nice person.
41:52And we're sitting
41:53and we're talking
41:54in this Ethiopian restaurant
41:55that she wanted to go to.
41:56And I was making jokes,
41:57you know, like,
41:58hey, I didn't know
41:59that they had food
41:59in Ethiopia.
42:00This will be a quick meal.
42:01I'll order two empty plates
42:02and we can leave.
42:04Yeah, nothing from her,
42:05not even a smile.
42:06So I downshift
42:07into small talk
42:08and I ask her
42:09where she went to school
42:09and she says,
42:10Michigan State.
42:11And this reminds me
42:12of Helen.
42:13All of a sudden,
42:14I'm in the middle
42:14of this massive anxiety attack.
42:17My heart's beating
42:17like a wild man
42:18and I start sweating
42:18like a pig.
42:20Helen went to Michigan State?
42:21No, she went to Northwestern.
42:22But they're both
42:23Big Ten schools.
42:25I got so upset,
42:26I had to leave the restaurant.
42:30Harry,
42:31I think this takes
42:31a long time.
42:33It might be months
42:33before we're actually
42:34able to enjoy
42:35going out with someone new.
42:38Oh, I went to bed with her.
42:45You went to bed with her?
42:46Sure.
42:49Oh.
42:54I don't understand
42:55this relationship.
42:56What do you mean?
42:57You enjoy being with her?
42:58Yeah.
42:59You find her attractive?
43:00Yeah.
43:01And you're not sleeping with her?
43:02No.
43:03You're afraid
43:04to let yourself be happy.
43:06Why can't you
43:06give me credit for this?
43:08This is a big thing for me.
43:09I never had a relationship
43:10with a woman
43:11that didn't involve sex.
43:12I feel like I'm growing.
43:13Are you finished?
43:15Hey, I got a whole stack
43:16of quarters
43:16and I was here first.
43:17We're not.
43:18Was two.
43:18We're not.
43:19Was two.
43:20You jerk.
43:21A little creep.
43:23Where was I?
43:24You were growing.
43:25Yeah.
43:27It's very freeing.
43:28I can say anything to her.
43:30Are you saying
43:31you can say things to her
43:32you can't say to me?
43:34No, it's just different.
43:35It's a whole different perspective.
43:37I get the woman's point
43:38at you on things.
43:39She tells me
43:40about the men
43:40that she goes out with
43:41and I can talk to her
43:42about the women that I see.
43:43You tell her
43:43about other women?
43:44Yeah.
43:45Like the other night.
43:46I made love to this woman
43:47and it was so incredible.
43:49I took her to a place
43:50that was inhuman.
43:51She actually meowed.
43:53You made a woman meow?
43:54Yeah.
43:55That's the point.
43:56I can say these things to her.
43:57And the great thing is
43:58I don't have to lie
43:59because I'm not always
44:00thinking about
44:01how to get her into bed.
44:02I can just be myself.
44:04You made a woman meow?
44:07So what do you do
44:08with these women?
44:08You just get up
44:09out of bed and leave?
44:10Sure.
44:11Well, explain to me
44:12how you do it.
44:13What do you say?
44:14Just having an early meeting,
44:15early haircut,
44:16early squash game.
44:17You don't play squash.
44:17They don't know that.
44:18They just met me.
44:21That's disgusting.
44:22Oh, no.
44:22I feel terrible.
44:24You know,
44:24I'm so glad
44:25I never got involved with you.
44:26I just would have ended up
44:27being some woman
44:28you had to get up
44:29out of bed and leave
44:29at 3 o'clock in the morning
44:30and go clean your andirons.
44:32And you don't even have
44:33a fireplace.
44:34Not that I would know this.
44:35Why are you getting so upset?
44:37This is not about you.
44:38Yes, it is.
44:39You are a human affront
44:40to all women
44:41and I am a woman.
44:42Hey, I don't feel great
44:43about this,
44:43but I don't hear
44:44anyone complaining.
44:45Of course not.
44:46You're out the door too fast.
44:48I think they have
44:49an okay time.
44:50How do you know?
44:52I mean, how do I know I know?
44:55Because they...
44:56Yes, because they...
44:59How do you know
45:00that they're really...
45:01What are you saying?
45:03That they fake orgasm?
45:04It's possible.
45:06Get out of here.
45:07Why?
45:08Most women at one time
45:09or another have faked it.
45:10Well, they haven't faked it
45:11with me.
45:12How do you know?
45:15Because I know.
45:18Oh.
45:19Right.
45:20That's right.
45:21I forgot.
45:22You're a man.
45:24What is that supposed to mean?
45:25Nothing.
45:26It's just that all men
45:27are sure it never happened
45:27to them and most women
45:28at one time or another
45:29have done it,
45:30so you do the math.
45:32You don't think
45:32that I can tell a difference?
45:35No.
45:35Get out of here.
45:49Are you okay?
45:52Oh.
45:57Oh, God.
46:00Oh, God.
46:03Oh.
46:05Oh.
46:07Oh.
46:09Oh, God.
46:12Oh, yeah, right there.
46:13Oh.
46:16Oh.
46:20Oh, God.
46:22Oh.
46:23Oh, yes.
46:24Yes.
46:25Yes.
46:26Yes.
46:27Yes.
46:28Yes! Yes!
46:29Ah!
46:30Oh!
46:31Oh, yes!
46:33Yes!
46:34Yes!
46:35Oh!
46:36Yes!
46:37Yes!
46:38Yes!
46:39Yes!
46:41Yes!
46:41Oh!
46:42Oh!
46:44Oh!
46:45Oh, God.
46:47Oh.
46:57I'll have what she's having.
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