00:00:08The Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:11Here, attach the Queen!
00:00:14Queen's Critic!
00:00:17Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:19Come on, Jack.
00:00:21I'll take one of each this morning, please.
00:00:24And a sundae as well.
00:00:27That's right.
00:00:30Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:32Here, attach the Queen!
00:00:50No, I shan't have anything.
00:00:53Sorry, dear.
00:01:21I think it's right.
00:01:23Do you?
00:01:24Yeah.
00:01:25Now I think about it, she is a bit priggish.
00:01:33You guys are everyone here.
00:01:36She's out there.
00:01:38What's the quote?
00:01:45Out there, man.
00:01:53$5,000, $000,000, $4,000, $100,000!
00:01:55The Queen's Critic?
00:01:57It's the first time, he's the first time.
00:01:57Are you mad?
00:01:57Here are you.
00:01:58I am.
00:01:58Come on, Axe. That's it.
00:02:01You're on Altingham.
00:02:03Yes.
00:02:07Get straight up!
00:02:44Really?
00:02:48Rarely.
00:02:53Rarely.
00:02:55Well, I shall certainly let Her Majesty know.
00:03:04Time and tide, Mr. Conservator.
00:03:07Wait for no man, Private Secretary.
00:03:09Good afternoon to you.
00:03:11Good afternoon, sir.
00:03:24What is it now?
00:03:27Lord Altrincham has been struck.
00:03:33Dumb, I hope.
00:03:35Better than that, ma'am.
00:03:37In the face.
00:03:39Quite forcefully, I'm told.
00:03:42By whom?
00:03:44Which gallant and chivalrous individual?
00:03:46I'm afraid we don't have those details yet, ma'am.
00:03:50The incident occurred outside the television studios.
00:03:54And the perpetrator is now on his way to the Bow Street police station
00:03:58where we expect him to be released without charge.
00:04:03Well, how very gratifying.
00:04:05Yes.
00:04:07Very.
00:04:08Which television studios?
00:04:10The Independent Television Network studios, ma'am,
00:04:13where Altrincham had just recorded an interview.
00:04:17For what?
00:04:19A programme appropriately called Impact.
00:04:23When will it air?
00:04:25Tonight, ma'am.
00:04:27Nine o'clock.
00:04:47Tell the people.
00:04:48Tell them on television.
00:04:51Questions in the public mind.
00:04:53Answered by people in the public eye.
00:04:55This is Impact.
00:04:58A programme that examines the most important matters of the moment.
00:05:02And which will debate to you at home.
00:05:05Sorry I'm late.
00:05:05Robin Day puts the question.
00:05:07It's just starting.
00:05:10Tonight we have a man who, because of press activity in recent days,
00:05:14probably needs no introduction.
00:05:15Lord Altrincham.
00:05:16In the space of just a few days,
00:05:18his inflammatory and deeply personal attacks on the Queen,
00:05:21in a periodical of which he is also publisher,
00:05:24have become the most pressing issue of the day
00:05:26and caused something of a constitutional crisis.
00:05:29So, I'd like to begin by asking Lord Altrincham a simple question.
00:05:34She's our Head of State.
00:05:36Loved, respected and admired throughout the world.
00:05:39So, why do you hate her so very much?
00:05:56You're right, I've conversations with you.
00:05:57Oh my goodness.
00:05:57We're not going to be speaking Lord Altrincham.
00:05:58Of course I'm thinking Lord Altrincham.
00:06:10To be continued.
00:07:11National and English Review two shillings.
00:07:14It's far too long. People are beginning to notice, and that is why the...
00:07:22And that is why the ending of doctrinal tests and the introduction of women priests
00:07:26is the only viable solution for saving the Church of England,
00:07:30an institution that is becoming increasingly outdated and irrelevant hour by hour.
00:07:36Who's got a thousand words for me on that?
00:07:38Hello, Patricia.
00:07:40Would anyone like some toffee?
00:07:41Oh, bring it over here, Patricia darling.
00:07:49Oh, divine.
00:07:51Much like Patricia herself.
00:07:53Come, come, my dear.
00:07:54Be seated.
00:07:58Right.
00:07:59If no one's keen on the Church story, I can knock something up.
00:08:03Now, a piece on reforming the House of Laws.
00:08:06Dermot, you were going to look at that for me, weren't you?
00:08:08Something nutty about it?
00:08:10Mmm.
00:08:11Molasses.
00:08:11And Europe, we need to work out our official stance.
00:08:15Are we for or against a single European market?
00:08:21Are we in or out?
00:08:25Toffee, John.
00:08:27Oh, you must try some, John.
00:08:29Afraid I have a thing against toffee.
00:08:34Why didn't I know that?
00:08:37You can't know everything about me.
00:08:42It's not the taste I object to so much.
00:08:45I just have painful memories.
00:08:49As a child.
00:08:51Or sitting in a dentist's chair because of a piece of toffee I ate.
00:08:58Oh.
00:09:01Oh, Lord.
00:09:03Not again.
00:09:05Sorry.
00:09:07I have...
00:09:08Sorry?
00:09:09Perhaps you don't understand
00:09:12that on your steadfastness
00:09:14and ability to withstand
00:09:16the fatigue of dull, repetitive work
00:09:20and your great courage in meeting
00:09:22constant, small adversities
00:09:25depend in great measure
00:09:28the happiness and prosperity
00:09:30of the community
00:09:31as a whole.
00:09:38The upward course
00:09:40of a nation's history
00:09:41is due
00:09:42in the long run
00:09:44to the soundness of heart
00:09:46of its average
00:09:47men and women.
00:09:53working men and women
00:09:57has a touch more dignity.
00:10:06No, I think average is fine.
00:10:22What you might be interested
00:10:24to see this
00:10:25it's a draft
00:10:26of a speech
00:10:27the Queen's going to give
00:10:28in a week's time.
00:10:30I don't mind telling you
00:10:31I felt a bit uneasy
00:10:32about it.
00:10:49Yeah?
00:10:51Sir, forgive me
00:10:52if I'm interfering
00:10:53beyond my station.
00:11:01Tommy.
00:11:02Pardon.
00:11:04You were about to interfere
00:11:05beyond your station.
00:11:09It's concerning the speech
00:11:11the Queen is due
00:11:12to give next week
00:11:13at the Jagger car factory.
00:11:15What about it?
00:11:17I was just wondering
00:11:19if you were happy with it.
00:11:24Well, obviously I'm happy with it
00:11:26or I wouldn't have shown it
00:11:28to Her Majesty
00:11:29for the approval
00:11:30which she immediately gave.
00:11:32Did the Queen read it?
00:11:35She didn't need to.
00:11:37She merely asked
00:11:37if I was happy
00:11:39I replied in the affirmative
00:11:41and that was good enough
00:11:43for Her Majesty
00:11:45but I can see
00:11:48that the really important question is
00:11:50is it good enough
00:11:52for Colonel Chatteras?
00:11:56You don't think it
00:11:58strikes the wrong tone?
00:12:00In which sense?
00:12:03In its paternalism.
00:12:08May I?
00:12:13I suppose if I
00:12:15had a concern
00:12:18it would be that post-Suez
00:12:20in this new climate
00:12:22in this new Britain
00:12:26the tone of the speech
00:12:28is somewhat
00:12:30somewhat what?
00:12:36Old-fashioned.
00:12:39Then would leave her
00:12:40open to attack.
00:12:42From whom?
00:12:43The newspapers.
00:12:46people.
00:12:47If I had a shilling
00:12:48for every time
00:12:49someone of a progressive
00:12:50or liberal disposition
00:12:52had warned needlessly
00:12:53of a popular attack
00:12:54against the crown
00:12:55I'd be a rich man.
00:12:57The British people
00:12:58adore their sovereign.
00:13:00It is what constitutes
00:13:01indeed defines
00:13:02being British.
00:13:04Now the worst
00:13:05I've ever encountered
00:13:06is apathy
00:13:07where people
00:13:08simply accept
00:13:09the king or queen
00:13:10as they accept
00:13:10the sky above their heads.
00:13:12But it's a long way
00:13:13from apathy
00:13:14to insurrection.
00:13:16Now as regards
00:13:17the newspapers
00:13:18the crown can count
00:13:19on their support
00:13:20for two reasons.
00:13:21First
00:13:21there is nothing
00:13:22to attack.
00:13:24That's the advantage
00:13:24of a constitutional monarchy.
00:13:26They have no power
00:13:28so there's nothing
00:13:28to complain about.
00:13:29And even if they wanted to
00:13:31they'd always let us know first.
00:13:34The palace would then
00:13:34threaten them
00:13:35the boycott
00:13:35on the next
00:13:36major royal event
00:13:37causing the newspapers
00:13:39immediately to back down.
00:13:41Because the very people
00:13:42you fear
00:13:43will hate the queen
00:13:45and the same ones
00:13:46who buy copies
00:13:47in their millions.
00:13:49Why?
00:13:50Because they love her.
00:13:55So I'm
00:13:56worrying unnecessarily.
00:13:58Martin
00:13:59I shall leave
00:14:01the drawing of that
00:14:02inescapable conclusion
00:14:03to you.
00:14:21I'm going to take it
00:14:23in a little shorter
00:14:23man
00:14:24and rounder it back.
00:14:26Lovely.
00:15:03poll
00:15:17I like it very much.
00:15:44I thought you were hoping for more children from me.
00:15:49I am.
00:15:52Why on earth would you do something like that to your hair?
00:15:55What's wrong with it?
00:15:59I thought it was tidy and sensible.
00:16:02Adjectives to stir the loins.
00:16:05Apparently it's very anemone.
00:16:07All the regimental wives are wearing their hair like this now.
00:16:10Really?
00:16:11Yes.
00:16:11It's certainly very practical.
00:16:14And should you ever feel compelled to ride a motorcycle, it could almost double as a helmet.
00:16:20Well, I like it.
00:16:24I have nothing against it, Pastor.
00:16:27Stop it.
00:16:28Sure, it would provide ample protection against any falling masonry.
00:16:37But if enlarging the family and enticing your husband to procreate is the goal...
00:16:43It is.
00:16:44Then you might take a look at Jane Mansfield.
00:16:48Or Rita Hayworth.
00:16:51Or Rita Hayworth.
00:17:18Sir, will you be a part of this place?
00:17:19Welcome, Your Majesty.
00:17:20Thank you, John.
00:17:21Elliot.
00:17:23Elliot.
00:17:24It's very, very, um, spacious.
00:17:27Is this our research and development area?
00:17:29No, no, at all.
00:17:30Yes.
00:17:31May I introduce you, ma'am, to Nigel Willoughby, who sketches all of our prototypes?
00:17:36You started drawing, did you?
00:17:38Very good, sir.
00:17:40And that's a chef.
00:17:41Yes, indeed.
00:17:42A finished MK1, Your Majesty.
00:17:45Ah, no, it's lovely.
00:17:47With top speeds of over 100 miles per hour.
00:17:51Quite the thing.
00:17:52I've always been interested in the red leather.
00:17:54Yes.
00:17:55Is it horse or cow?
00:17:57No, you do.
00:17:58Okay.
00:18:10I wish first.
00:18:12To express to you my very great pleasure at being here today.
00:18:18My husband and I have been most profoundly moved by your hospitable welcome.
00:18:24And would like you to know how very grateful we are to you all for the work that you do.
00:18:32We understand that in the turbulence of this anxious and active world, many of you are leading uneventful, lonely lives.
00:18:48Perhaps you don't understand that on your steadfastness and ability to withstand the fatigue of dull, repetitive work,
00:18:58depend in great measure, the happiness and prosperity of the community as a whole.
00:19:07The upward course of a nation's history is due, in the long run, to the soundness of heart of its
00:19:15average men and women.
00:19:18May you be proud to remember how much depends on you, and that even when your life seems most monotonous,
00:19:26what you do is always of real value and importance to your family.
00:19:34Well, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:36Well, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:39Come on, everybody, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:54Ah, I need a favour, some typing.
00:19:57Oh, you're going home.
00:19:59I don't need to be.
00:20:05I've just heard a ridiculous speech by the Queen, and I want to write an immediate response.
00:20:11You know, I'll find someone else.
00:20:13No, no, it's no trouble.
00:20:15I had nothing else planned.
00:20:46I've had another thought.
00:20:47Super.
00:20:49A rather heretical thought.
00:20:51I got the idea from something Walter Badgett said about the first duty of royalty being to inspire.
00:20:57A rather her pro.
00:25:28I see.
00:25:31Right.
00:25:35Well, thank you.
00:26:58I've heard of him.
00:27:26It's in the right.
00:28:35Excuse me.
00:29:47Thank you very much.
00:30:22All good.
00:34:31Thank you,
00:35:06Good day.
00:53:205,
01:01:41Thank you,
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