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Hard Quiz - Season 10 - Episode 21: Peter Sellars, The Chats, Beer & The Great Firs Of London
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00:04Tonight on A Hard Quiz
00:06Paul, Theatre Manager
00:09Expert Subject
00:11Actor and Comedian Peter Sellers
00:13Ella, Lifeguard
00:16Expert Subject
00:17Aussie Band The Chats
00:19Liam, Brewer
00:22Expert Subject
00:23Beer
00:24Samantha, Stay At Home Mom
00:28Expert Subject
00:29The Great Fire of London
00:33Here's your host, Tom Gleeson
00:36Yes!
00:38Hello!
00:40Bonsoir!
00:41Welcome to Hard Quiz
00:42These contestants are quotes
00:44Last one to be misattributed will be tonight's Hard Quiz Champion
00:49To be part of the show at home, go to the ABC TV iview socials
00:53Let's say hello
00:54G'day Samantha
00:55Hi Tom
00:55Now, The Great Fire of London is your expert subject
00:59Yes
00:59Are you an arsonist?
01:01No, no
01:02Do you like just setting fire to shit in general?
01:05Oh, sometimes
01:05Not during summer though
01:07Okay, oh, very sensible, very sensible
01:09What other major cities would you like to see burned to the ground?
01:13Um, oh, Paris maybe?
01:20Why, why Paris?
01:22I don't know, just French Revolution, finish what they, you know, started
01:26Now you are a First Nations Australian
01:30Yes
01:30Is that why you enjoy watching the British endure misery?
01:33Um, a little bit, a little bit
01:35Is it fun to watch them lose their home?
01:37Yes, exactly
01:38Now you've sung with Michael Bublé
01:40Yes
01:42Yes
01:42Yes
01:42How did that happen?
01:44Um, he was performing and I just got up and was like dancing and singing and he beckoned
01:49me over and I sung in front of 10,000 people
01:58And did you get to meet him afterwards?
01:59Yes
02:00Um, I said, I was the girl who sang with you and he said, I know, I recognise you
02:04And then, um, I asked for a kiss and he kissed me
02:11Where did he kiss you?
02:12On the lips
02:15And how old were you at the time?
02:17Um, let's talk about that
02:19How old were you?
02:20Um, it was in 2008
02:23Yeah
02:25I don't want to Me Too Bublé
02:27Oh, you were, you were a teenager?
02:28Yes
02:29Oh, okay
02:29So, so you were groomed by Bublé
02:33I, I looked older for my age
02:35You've been boob groomed
02:38Liam
02:39G'day Tom
02:40Now, when you say you're a beer expert, do you actually just mean pisshead?
02:44I'd say it like that if you want
02:46Why beer is goon too sophisticated for you?
02:49Yes
02:51Now, you dropped out of an engineering degree to brew beer
02:57How else has alcohol affected your life?
03:02We've got to have something to do while you're at uni, so I chose to just smash peers
03:05Okay
03:07What are these contraptions we're looking at here?
03:09That's the mash kettle that you stand behind and that's me inside of one
03:14Is that hygienic for you to climb inside?
03:16Not really, but
03:19Are you trying to brew a beer that tasted like inner city dude?
03:25Yeah, pretentious wanker
03:27Oh wow, it has hints of hipster
03:31Ella
03:31How's it going Tom?
03:32Why do you like the band The Chats?
03:34I think they're like the perfect depiction of Australian degeneracy
03:38Okay
03:39I don't really relate to it
03:40Okay, well I suspect Liam does too
03:44What do you mean by Australian degeneracy?
03:46Basically, yeah, just smashing piss
03:49Smashing bars
03:51Gambling
03:52They just think about smashing piss and gambling?
03:55A little bit, yeah, yeah
03:56How inspiring
03:58How many times have you gone and seen them perform live?
04:01I think about five times now, yeah
04:03Four or five, yeah
04:03Have you met them?
04:05Briefly
04:05I don't think that they would remember it
04:07And I don't think I really remember it either
04:11Now you work as a lifesaver
04:13And also compete in life-saving races
04:16There you are, racing away there
04:18Get it
04:19Are you running the right way?
04:25Yeah, it actually
04:26It appeared that I didn't run the right way, actually
04:30It not only appeared that you didn't
04:31You also didn't
04:34What happened?
04:35Just overexcited
04:36I was leading, as you can see
04:38There was no one to follow
04:47Now your nan is a fan of hard quiz
04:49And one of my biggest fans, apparently
04:52So you wanted to do hard quiz
04:54Mostly so she could watch it
04:55And feel proud of you
04:56Before she carks it, you said
05:00Yeah, give her a bit of joy in the last few years
05:03Sorry, Gran
05:04Oh well, I just want to say
05:06Hi, Gran, how are you?
05:07And given this airs sometimes a bit later than recording time
05:11Or rest in peace
05:17Paul!
05:17Hi, Tom!
05:18Now I have the same question that everyone else here has
05:20Yes?
05:21Did you get your head stuck in a vacuum cleaner?
05:23No, it's, it's, uh, the hairdressers call it either the, uh, the, uh, cockatoo, the pineapple or the sucked mango
05:30Okay
05:31Or as I like to call it, Tom Gleeson with three extra inches
05:33Okay
05:38I think I'm tall enough, to be honest
05:41Now what do you love most about Peter Sellers?
05:43The silly voices or the racist voices?
05:44Oh, well, you know, there are never enough racist voices
05:47You know, back in the day, of course, there were plenty
05:50I discovered the year you were born, actually
05:52Oh, okay
05:531974
05:54Yeah, right
05:55I saw the return of the Pink Panther and fell in love with Peter Sellers then, so
05:58I was ten
05:59So you've loved him ever since?
06:00I've loved him ever since
06:01Now they say that Peter Sellers was good at playing characters because he didn't have his own identity
06:05Correct
06:05Is that why you like him as well?
06:07That's what I think, this is a pretty good identity
06:09Is that the sole part of your identity?
06:13I have a matching bikini line as well, Tom, just exactly the same
06:16All right, let's play
06:21Expert round
06:23Expert subjects
06:24Win or lose five points
06:25Steal and answer double points
06:28I'll ask each of you five questions on your expert subject
06:31Right, you get five points
06:32Wrong, I will take five points from you
06:33The rest of you can steal at any time to get double points
06:36Let's start with Paul and his expert subject
06:38Peter Sellers
06:39He was a comedy genius, wasn't he, Peter Sellers?
06:45He was a comedy genius
06:45Yes, but it was a different time, so a lot of what he did wouldn't work now
06:49No
06:50No, but it'd still be funny
06:52Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
06:53Private parties
06:54They don't know whether to laugh what I'd like
06:57Maybe you see audiences confused, they're like, are we being racist by laughing?
07:02Uh, you are
07:05Oh, now someone's cheering him, bloody hell
07:08Peter Sellers found fame on radio performing in The Goon Show with...
07:12Paul?
07:13Harry Seacombe, Spike Milligan and Michael Benteen
07:16Incorrect
07:16I'll finish the question
07:17Oh, it's too quick
07:18With Harry Seacombe and Spike who?
07:22It's wide open
07:27This is, this is the widest open question I've ever heard
07:38Time's up!
07:39Um, Milligan, you just said it
07:43You just haven't heard of The Goons, I get it, because you're all young
07:46But you, you can all listen, yeah?
07:49Like, you can listen at any age
07:54Sellers was married four times, including to Britt Eklund
07:57Who he called a professional girlfriend an amateur what?
08:03It's wide open
08:09Time's up, actress
08:10Ah, yes
08:12It's a famous quote, you hadn't heard that quote?
08:14Yes, yes, yes, yes, I remember it
08:15Professional girlfriend and amateur actress
08:16Correct
08:16He reportedly joked that his epitaph should read
08:19Star of Stage, Screen and Alimony
08:23Playing a smaller part in the first Pink Panther film
08:26Sellers went on to star in four sequels
08:28As which bumbling police detective?
08:30Paul?
08:32Inspector Jacques Clouseau
08:33Correct!
08:38Sellers recorded the hit single Goodness Gracious Me with Sophia Loren and Beatles producer George Martin
08:44Singing in character as a doctor of what nationality?
08:47Paul?
08:48Uh, Indian
08:50Correct!
08:54Yeah, Sellers pretends to be Indian in the song
08:57The song was a promo for the film The Millionaires
08:59Where he pretends to be Indian
09:02Sellers was the Chris Lilley of his day
09:07Last question in your set, Paul?
09:09Towards the end of his life, Sellers received an Oscar nomination for his performance as A Gardener Named Chance in
09:15which film?
09:16Paul?
09:16Paul?
09:16Paul?
09:17Being there
09:17Being there
09:17Correct!
09:21Alright, next set of questions is for Ella on The Chats
09:27When was the last time you saw The Chats?
09:29I think it would have been last year, oh no, the start of this year, February
09:32February this year?
09:33And when you went, did you just get off your nut?
09:35A little bit, yeah
09:37Have you ever seen a chat show sober?
09:40Not even when I was a minor
09:45Just so we can keep that in the show, she used to work in a mine
09:53Didn't you?
09:54Yes
09:55That was back when you worked in an iron ore mine
09:58Yes
10:00The Chats formed on Queensland's Sunshine Coast in 2016
10:03And described their music as a style of rock
10:05Named for what backyard structure?
10:07Ella?
10:08Shed
10:08Correct!
10:13So is it true they call it shed rock because they used to practice in their mate's bong shed?
10:18Yeah, that would be correct, yeah
10:20Why do you need a bong shed?
10:22You can't do it in the house
10:24Oh
10:26Again, in my house
10:31Imagine a 50 year old man still having bongs
10:34Oh yeah
10:38Oh yeah, you get high, don't have to spend as much money
10:44Oh he's been cutting off my garden hose
10:47Oh it was me
10:50Bloody hell
10:53Going on to be viewed more than 20 million times on YouTube
10:55A video for the band's first hit, Smoko
10:58Reportedly had a budget of $5
11:00Which was used to buy what pastry?
11:02Ella?
11:03Sausage roll
11:08So what was that the catering, was it?
11:11Well back then they were still in school I'm pretty sure
11:13Maybe just out of school
11:14They weren't playing too many gigs
11:15Couldn't really pay the bills
11:16So sausage roll it was
11:19Inspired by singer Eamon Sandwith
11:21Being denied entry to a bar
11:23The song Keep the Grubs Out
11:24Is about discrimination against what hairstyle?
11:27Ella?
11:28The mullet
11:33Yeah, it makes the civil rights movement seem pretty lame
11:37Yeah, the song says people with mullets are treated like
11:40Thieving, violent, volatile thugs
11:42What do you think of the mullet, Ella?
11:44It is so hot
11:49But so mullets, they kind of came back and they're ironic
11:52And now they're just mullets again
11:53And you probably don't even know that they used to be stupid
11:56And now they're back and you're just taking it on face value
11:59I'm young, I'm not stupid
12:07Released in 2022, the chat's second album contains a track titled
12:11I've Been Drunk in Every Pub in what capital city?
12:14Ella?
12:15Brisbane
12:15Correct!
12:21Last question in your set, Ella
12:23A 2018 tour with rock legends Queens of the Stone Age
12:26Came about after Josh Homme was introduced to the chat's music
12:30By which Foo Fighters star?
12:33Ella?
12:34Dave Grohl?
12:35Correct!
12:40There's Dave Grohl with all his illegitimate children
12:44Five for five!
12:49Alright, time now for Liam and beer
12:56How many beers have you had today?
12:58Probably shouldn't say, should I?
13:01I don't care
13:02Like Ella got drunk when she was a minor
13:04Like in a shaft where she worked
13:10What's your favourite beer?
13:12Probably couldn't pick a favourite
13:14What type?
13:15Like a good stout
13:16Yeah, I like a pale ale myself
13:18Don't like a lager, it's a bit too weak
13:27Shut up, Mum
13:28It's not really that controversial
13:31Expressing a preference of beer
13:34Clearly you like a f***ing shandy
13:41Over 4,000 years ago
13:42Beer was given as rations to Egyptian workers
13:45Including those that built which royal monuments at Giza?
13:49Can I stay up with Paul?
13:50Oh
13:51I was going to say the pyramids
13:56Correct!
13:57That's what works to do
14:01They were actually originally meant to be cubes
14:03But the workers were too pissed when they were building them
14:09Fermentation of sugar produces the alcohol and carbon dioxide bubbles in beer
14:13A process initiated by what single-celled fungus?
14:17Yeast
14:17Correct!
14:22Check this out
14:23It can come at any time
14:25You're taking a bow or feeding a cow
14:28Matter of fact, I got it now
14:30For over 50 years, ads for Victoria Bitter claim that a hard-earned thirst needs a what?
14:36Liam?
14:37A big cold beer
14:44Many German brewers still adhere to a food purity law from 1516
14:48That originally mandated that beer be made from water, hops and what cereal grain?
14:53Liam?
14:54Malt
14:55Barley
14:56Incorrect
14:57It's wide open
14:58Off of the steel of teller
15:00Barley?
15:01Correct!
15:03Double mugs to you
15:07Last question in your set, Liam
15:09After complaints that it appealed to children, Woolworths discontinued a line of beer based on what animated series?
15:16Liam?
15:17Simpsons
15:17Correct!
15:21Alright, last set in the expert round
15:22It's Samantha and the Great Fire of London
15:28In 1666, many people were left homeless when more than 13,000 homes were destroyed by the Great Fire of
15:34London
15:34Which started in what type of business?
15:37Samantha?
15:38Bakery
15:38Correct!
15:42Yeah, burned for over five days
15:44Which is also how long it takes to toast a crumpet
15:47I was ready
15:56When Sir Thomas Bloodworth was summoned to inspect the fire on the first day
16:01And downplayed it by saying
16:02Pish, a woman might piss it out
16:04He held what public office?
16:07Samantha?
16:08Lord Mayor
16:09Correct!
16:13What's the biggest fire you think you could piss out?
16:17Um, very, uh, I don't know
16:20Um, not, not, not nothing
16:26I reckon I'd be able to take care of a small bin fire
16:29Yeah, yeah
16:30If it's just small, not like the skipping
16:32Like a little grass fire
16:33Like grass fire
16:34Yeah, like someone put their, like, chuck their ciggy in it
16:36Like, just
16:37Yeah, probably Ella
16:37Yeah
16:40Eyewitness John Evelyn wrote about the streets being a stream of molten lead from the roof of which cathedral?
16:45Samantha?
16:46St Paul's Cathedral
16:48Correct!
16:50Yeah, the cathedral was so badly damaged it had to be demolished and rebuilt
16:54There's the old one and the new one
16:56Without a fire brigade, the military were brought in
16:59And on the fourth day successfully created a fire break by blowing up buildings using what explosives?
17:05Samantha?
17:06Gunpowder
17:06Correct!
17:10Last question in your set, Samantha
17:13Five months after the fire, Parliament introduced new guidelines for the exteriors of buildings in London
17:18Which were to be constructed from stone or what?
17:21Samantha?
17:22Brick
17:22Correct!
17:25Five for four!
17:31Alright, we've burned through their subjects, now let's burn through mine
17:34Tom's round
17:35Tom's subject, multiple choice
17:39This week I've been really getting into romance novels
17:42Deep down, I'm a gooey marshmallow man
17:46This round is multiple choice, select your answers on your screen then press the buzzer to lock in the answer
17:50Here's prolific romance novelist the late Barbara Cartland dictating her work
17:55And they both knew that they'd found love, the real love which comes from God, is part of God
18:00And was theirs for eternity
18:05How many words?
18:08Cartland stated that she wouldn't allow her characters to go to bed unless they were what?
18:14A. Attractive
18:14B. Married
18:15C. Desperate
18:17D. Common
18:20The answer is...
18:22B. Married
18:25Liam, you went with C. Desperate
18:34Well, it would make for a better story, wouldn't it?
18:36Well yeah, but I feel like you're telling us something about yourself
18:41In the early 2000s, 2.5 million Mills and Boone books were used in what construction?
18:47A. Federation Square in Melbourne
18:48B. Vancouver Public Library in Canada
18:51C. Wat Lan Khoad Temple in Thailand
18:54D. M6 Toll Road in Britain
18:58The answer is D. M6 Toll Road in Britain
19:06Yeah, unsold or damaged copies were pulped and mixed with tarmac and asphalt
19:10The pulp acts as a sound absorber
19:16Published in 1972, The Flame and the Flower birthed a new era of historical romance with steamy bedroom scenes
19:23Which word is used the highest number of times in the text?
19:28A. Manhood
19:29B. Loins
19:31C. Bosom
19:32D. Buttocks
19:35The answer is...
19:37C. Bosom
19:43You have to read the whole thing with a calculator, it took me ages
19:4952 bosoms
19:5110 buttocks
19:548 manhoods
19:573 loins
20:00A series by Gordon Merrick that was advertised as the first gay romance with a happy ending begins with which
20:06book?
20:07A. Adam and Steve
20:09B. Dick without Jane
20:11C. The Lord won't mind
20:13D. Gay as in happy
20:20The answer is C. The Lord won't mind
20:23Last question in my round's worth double points
20:31Fabio was the star model for hundreds of front cover illustrations
20:35He also features on this back cover as a Viking
20:39Who has what name?
20:41A. Eric Longsword
20:42B. Roger Plenty
20:44C. Blowwave the Barbarian
20:47D. Gunther Stupia
20:49E. Kynan
20:51F. Richard Wilkins
20:59The answer is...
21:01A. Eric Longsword
21:05Alright, at the end of my round, Liam, you're at the bottom on minus five, get over here
21:16What happened?
21:17I didn't know enough about erotic novels or beer
21:22Maybe you didn't drink enough beer
21:24Next time, yeah
21:25Alright, you ready to go?
21:27Yeah, why not
21:28Eric!
21:35Alright, the people's round
21:36The people's round against the clock
21:40Empty the dice and play along at home
21:42Your time starts now
21:44In the classic tongue twister
21:46What does Peter Piper pick a peck off?
21:48Paul
21:48Pickled peppers
21:49Yes
21:50What flightless bird is on the Australian coat of arms?
21:54Paul
21:54A...
21:55A...
21:55A...
21:56A...
21:56A...
21:57A...
21:57A...
21:58Yes
22:00Known for the song Pink Pony Club
22:02Is US singer Chapel Who?
22:03Ella
22:04Brian
22:04Yes
22:05The term Doublethink was coined in which George Orwell novel?
22:09Samantha
22:101984
22:10Yes
22:11A dumbwaiter is a smaller version of...
22:14Paul
22:14An elevator
22:15Yes
22:16Of what vertical transportation device?
22:18Elevator is correct
22:19Hatha, Bikram and Vinyasa are types of what ancient practice?
22:24Samantha
22:24Yoga
22:25Yes
22:25What phrase can refer to a sporting coat's regular season or a soap set in the summer day?
22:31Time's up!
22:32The answer is home and away
22:36All right, at the end of the people's round, Paul and Samantha are both on 45, which means
22:41it's time for a bloody hard off!
22:43Hard off
22:45That's right, only one of you will survive, I'll ask just one question.
22:47First of us in Yaz, you're right, stay, you're right, dead to be ready?
22:52Using an amateur level telescope, which planet is harder to observe?
22:57Mercury or Saturn?
22:59Paul
23:00Mercury
23:01Correct!
23:02Oh!
23:03All right, Samantha, that means you're dead to me, get over here!
23:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:14Do you want to set fire to Paul?
23:16A little bit, yes
23:18He's already got a wick
23:24OK, help!
23:32All right, only two left, who's going to be the hard quiz champion? Paul and Ella, get
23:36over here because it's time to play hard quiz
23:38Final round, head to head, Peter Sellers versus The Chats, hard quiz
23:45Now there can only be one hard quiz champion who gets to take home the limited edition big brass mug.
23:50What will you do with the mug if you win, Paul?
23:51I'm going to buy a saucer, a matching saucer, and then I'm going to weld them together. But first of
23:57all, I'll have to do a welding course so I know, you know, how to weld.
24:00LAUGHTER
24:01What about you, Ella?
24:03My best mate's here watching. We'll probably just take it to our local and just show it off.
24:08LAUGHTER
24:08All right, it's Best of Five penalty shootout style, harder questions on your expert subjects. So it's Paul's knowledge of
24:14Peter Sellers versus Ella's knowledge of The Chats. Let's play.
24:18HARD!
24:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
24:23Paul, Peter Sellers plays three characters in Stanley Kubrick's Cold War satire, Doctor Strangelove, but he was booked to play
24:31four. After injuring himself on set, which of his roles was recast?
24:38Uh, now I know those three characters that are there. Um, Lionel Mandrake, Doctor Strangelove, and President Mervyn Muffley.
24:47So the fourth one was, uh, Buck Turgent's Turgesson, the, uh, crazy Texan who, uh, rode the, uh, bomb out
25:00of the, uh, plane.
25:04Incorrect. The correct answer is Major TJ King Kong.
25:09Ah.
25:09You described the right character, but you gave him the wrong name.
25:13Yes. Story of my life. It's like my Tinder profile.
25:16LAUGHTER
25:16Yeah, the character you describe was played by George C. Scott.
25:19Ah, that's right. Yes, yes.
25:21Ella, a serial prison escapee who sometimes went by the name Jack Carlson appeared in the music video for which
25:30song by the Chats?
25:32I love this. It's my favourite music video. I love Jack Carlson. Succulent Chinese meal guy.
25:39Um, that would be the Dine and Dash video.
25:43Correct.
25:48Yeah, it was the This Is Democracy Manifest guy who was in a viral clip being arrested while eating a
25:53succulent Chinese meal.
25:55And people say Australia has no culture.
25:58LAUGHTER
26:00Paul, one of Sella's most popular characters in The Goon Show was the falsetto-voiced Blue Bottle,
26:06who frequently complained of what malady, usually after an explosion?
26:12Uh, he fell in the water.
26:15Incorrect.
26:16Oh!
26:16The correct answer is being deaded.
26:20Ah. Yes. Yes.
26:22Yeah, killed. Being deaded.
26:23Yep, yep.
26:23Do you want to do the voice?
26:25No.
26:26OK.
26:27LAUGHTER
26:28I could, but I'm not going to.
26:30You are a wise man.
26:31LAUGHTER
26:33Ella, the song Drunken Disorderly lists substances consumed at different venues,
26:39such as four Bundy rums at the RSL.
26:42According to the lyrics, what and how much is consumed at the Bowls Club?
26:47So it's four Bundy rums at the RSL, three VBs at the Aerodrome,
26:53two lines of GAC in the car park, one line next for the drive home,
26:56and then it's four, four swigs of gin at the bus stop,
27:05three pints of Guinness at the Bowls Club.
27:08Correct!
27:09APPLAUSE
27:15That would have been really hard to remember after doing all that.
27:19Paul, a clairvoyant told sellers that the initials B.E. would be important,
27:25so he rushed into a marriage with Britt Eklund.
27:28But the psychic was being paid to convince Peter to make what film?
27:34A film with a very famous director who directed him in lots of films.
27:40The film was The Pink Panther, directed by Blake Edwards.
27:49Incorrect.
27:51The correct answer is A Shot in the Dark.
27:54Oh, yes. The sequel.
27:55Yes, the initials were meant to indicate Pink Panther director Blake Edwards, B.E.,
28:00who was shooting the sequel.
28:01He was a pretty superstitious guy, is that fair?
28:03He was very superstitious.
28:05Didn't like purple, didn't like green, didn't like staying married.
28:08LAUGHTER
28:11Ella, if you get this right, you are tonight's hard quiz champion.
28:15CHEERING
28:16Ella, the chat's debut album is called High Risk Behaviour,
28:21a title inspired by what?
28:23So, on the Today Show interview that they did in 2019 or 2020,
28:31they sort of spoke about, like, how the album got its name,
28:35and it is from Matt Boggess, the drummer.
28:39He used to skate in places that he probably shouldn't have been,
28:42and, um, the coppers used to say to him,
28:46that's very high-risk behaviour.
28:48Correct.
28:49Which means you have tonight's hard quiz champion.
28:52Congratulations.
28:52All right, Paul.
28:53You know what this means.
28:55Get up.
28:57There he goes.
29:03Congratulations, Ella.
29:04You have tonight's hard quiz champion.
29:05Which means you get the big brass mug.
29:07And you get to do the side-off.
29:09Thanks for playing.
29:10Hi.
29:13Come on, Grandma.
29:15Thanks for watching.
29:16CHEERING
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