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Jimmy Kimmel Live - Season 24 - Episode 24: Christina Applegate, Taylor Tomlinson, Arlo Parks
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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:04Tonight, Christina Applegate, Taylor Tomlinson,
00:09and music from Arlo Parks with the Klee Tones!
00:14And now, Jimmy Kimmel!
00:31Hi, everybody.
00:32Hi, I'm Jimmy.
00:33I'm the host.
00:34Thanks for watching.
00:35Thanks for coming.
00:36Please relax.
00:37It's very nice.
00:40Thank you for joining us at our home in Hollywood,
00:43where we are back to work after a week off.
00:46I gotta tell you something.
00:47I can't even enjoy being off anymore.
00:49It's... Did you enjoy the week off?
00:50Yeah, it was great, Jimmy.
00:51I spent a lot of time with my family.
00:53You did?
00:54Yeah, it was fantastic.
00:55That was my problem.
00:58No, what it is is, you know, I'm watching.
01:00I can't stop watching the news.
01:01And Trump does so much stuff.
01:03I feel like when we're off, it's like I'm on vacation somewhere
01:05watching my house on a ring cam,
01:07and an alligator walks in,
01:10and there's nothing you can do but watch it
01:13and then just try to assess the damage when you get back.
01:15We were gone for a week.
01:17One week, he is now at war with the Supreme Court.
01:20He's threatening a real war with Iran.
01:22He's firing off tariffs 10%, 15%.
01:25He's got the FCC threatening talk shows.
01:27He's threatening Netflix.
01:29He's all of a sudden planning to release the UFO files.
01:32And it really makes you stop and wonder,
01:34what the hell could be in those 3 million Trump Epstein files?
01:37There's a lot.
01:39What...
01:40He is working so hard to distract us from...
01:45The only thing he hasn't done is set his nipples on fire.
01:49Speaking of nipples, Robert Kennedy Jr.
01:52Um...
01:54I don't know what his goal is,
01:56but you probably saw this video.
01:57He released the sexy shirtless video
01:59with Kid Rock pumping bike handles in the sauna,
02:03taking a cold plunge in his jeans.
02:06Yeah, you like that?
02:08You... Yeah.
02:08Hey, Kid Rock, you wanna drink my milk?
02:11Yeah.
02:12Guzzle it.
02:13This is not weird at all.
02:15One thing I know about Kid Rock,
02:17he loves milk.
02:18He can't get enough of it.
02:19It's all he drinks, really.
02:21And just like that,
02:22the Maha movement finally has their Siegfried and Roy.
02:25Congratulations.
02:26You know...
02:28So many things happened over the break.
02:32This one hit me personally.
02:34This is over the break,
02:35a fundraising email from one of his many money grabs
02:39was sent to a number of followers.
02:41The subject line was,
02:43DJT, get Trump out of your mouth.
02:45Which is, again,
02:47somehow not a line from the Trump-Epstein files.
02:50Hey, did you see it?
02:51Rating-starved hack,
02:53Jimmy Kimmel is back at it again.
02:56Wait a minute.
02:58For the record,
03:01I was in my house doing nothing.
03:03Okay?
03:04He's on his failing late-night show,
03:07which, by the way, has terrible numbers,
03:08just total disaster numbers,
03:10trying to mock you and our movement.
03:13The poor guy just loves to have my name in his mouth
03:16because he knows that without Trump,
03:18he'd have no career at all.
03:19He thinks he can sit in his Hollywood studio
03:22and laugh at the greatest political movement
03:24in the history of our country.
03:27Yeah, he does.
03:28He's...
03:29Sometimes I stand.
03:31Sometimes I sit and laugh.
03:32But he thinks his tired jokes can stop us.
03:35He is wrong.
03:36While he's busy reading a teleprompter
03:38for a tiny audience of coastal elites,
03:40I'm getting ready to address
03:42a massive crowd of MAGA patriots
03:44at the State of the Union.
03:46Oh, and by the way,
03:46we will have a special show tomorrow night
03:48to laugh at all the stupid things he says
03:50at that MAGA State of the Union.
03:54But I digress.
03:55I need millions of MAGA patriots
03:58to step up today and show Jimmy Kimmel
04:00that his words have nothing on MAGA
04:02and that this movement will forever have more support
04:05than he could ever dream of.
04:07Join my MAGA Rally Blitz now
04:09and I'll add you to my exclusive 2026 MAGA membership.
04:14Well, that is tempting.
04:15We could be part of his MAGA Rally Blitz.
04:18What does...
04:19What even is that?
04:20It's like something you order at Dairy Queen, right?
04:23But please, give until his feelings
04:26don't hurt anymore, folks.
04:27Why is a president in his second term
04:29even sending fundraising emails?
04:32Maybe, I don't know, maybe he needs it to pay
04:33all the big beautiful tariffs he has to give back now?
04:36As just about everyone
04:39but him expected,
04:42the Supreme Court ruled that the tariffs
04:44he is so inexplicably proud of
04:46are unconstitutional.
04:48The very conservative Supreme Court ruled against him
04:50six to three.
04:51This was Donald Trump's most humiliating legal defeat yet.
04:55Even more than the one with the porn star
04:56where he farted through the whole trial.
04:58This is the way.
04:59Trump, um, was angry.
05:01He lashed out at his own handpicked justices.
05:04He called them fools and lapdogs.
05:06He said they were an embarrassment to their families.
05:08And as father to Eric and Don Jr.,
05:10that is a man who knows an embarrassment to his family.
05:13And now, the whole thing is a mess
05:16because these companies want refunds for the tariffs they paid,
05:21but no one knows how to go about getting one.
05:23And, of course, Donald Trump doesn't give refunds.
05:25I mean, if he gives a...
05:27He gives a refunds like when Rumpelstiltskin says his own name.
05:29He shrivels up and he disappears.
05:32So what do you do in a situation like that
05:34where you get smacked down very publicly
05:37by your own conservative court?
05:39Well, I'll tell you what you do.
05:40You do this.
05:41Based on the tremendous interest shown,
05:43I will be directing the Secretary of War
05:45and other relevant departments and agencies
05:48to begin the process of identifying
05:49and releasing government files
05:51related to alien and extraterrestrial life.
05:55That's right.
05:56He's sending in the aliens.
05:59Finally.
06:01The good news, Anna,
06:02I don't think this is working anymore.
06:04The latest polls show that Donald Trump
06:05is going into the State of the Union tomorrow
06:07with his lowest approval numbers yet.
06:10Polls are tough.
06:11You know, when you get a fake poll,
06:12I get them today.
06:13I saw one today that I'm at 40%.
06:1640%.
06:17I'm not at 40%.
06:18That's right.
06:18You're not at 40%.
06:22You are at 36%,
06:25which is lower than 40%.
06:29He's got this, you know,
06:30this weird pathological reflex to jack up the numbers.
06:33It's so automatic that even when it's like a bad number,
06:36he jacks it up to a slightly less bad number.
06:3936%.
06:40How dare you say 38%.
06:41There's no way I'm at 40%.
06:44That speech tomorrow night is going to be a lot of fun.
06:47And we will have a show dedicated to covering that.
06:50Meanwhile, did you see our FBI director
06:52whooping it up with the Olympic hockey team in Italy?
06:55Team USA beat heavily favored Team Canada in overtime.
06:59They won their first gold medal in 46 years.
07:02The first one since the Miracle Eyes.
07:06And the bad news is, Cash Patel, not only was he at the game,
07:09he was in the locker room after the game.
07:12You can see here he is bouncing around like the Adderall bunny or something,
07:17pumping his fists.
07:18Why he was there, why he needed to be in Italy at all, nobody knows.
07:22All we know is that we paid for it.
07:24He flew there on the FBI jet, which is especially rich,
07:28coming from the man who criticized his predecessor, Christopher Wray,
07:32for doing far, far less.
07:34I'm not the defund everything guy.
07:36I'm just saying Chris Wray doesn't need a government-funded G5 jet
07:39to go to vacation.
07:40Maybe we ground that plane.
07:4315,000 every time it takes off.
07:45This is odd.
07:47And now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do Jager bombs with the hockey team.
07:51In Italy.
07:53That clip aged like a tall glass of RFK Jr.'s hot tub milk.
08:00Patel defended his little field trip weekly.
08:03He said he was at the Olympics to protect U.S. athletes
08:06by tasting their beer to make sure it isn't poisoned.
08:09And then you got Blobby Orr who celebrated the hockey gold
08:13by posting this dumb AI video of himself playing hockey.
08:17So many times
08:19It happens too fast
08:22You change your passion for glory
08:27Don't lose your grip
08:28On the dreams of the past
08:30You must fight just to keep them alive
08:34Here's a question.
08:35Do you think he knows that's not actually him?
08:3850-50, right?
08:40I mean, so Trump dials into the locker room after game.
08:43Cash has got his phone to glom on to the glory
08:45and invite the men's team
08:47and begrudgingly the gold medal winning women's team
08:50who also won in overtime to his State of the Union tomorrow.
08:54We'll do the White House the next day.
08:55We'll just have some fun.
08:56We have medals for you guys.
08:57And we have to, I must tell you,
08:59we're going to have to bring the women's team.
09:01You do know that.
09:05I do believe I probably would be impeached, okay?
09:10What a funny creep, huh?
09:13The women's hockey team, by the way, immediately refused the invitation.
09:19Really, I mean...
09:22Can you blame them?
09:23The last time Trump invited a woman with a medal to the White House,
09:26he made her give it to him.
09:28A spokesperson for USA Hockey wrote,
09:31We are sincerely grateful for the invitation extended to our gold medal winning U.S. women's hockey team
09:35and deeply appreciate the recognition of their extraordinary achievement.
09:39Due to the timing and previously scheduled academic and professional commitments following the games,
09:43the athletes are unable to participate.
09:45They were honored to be included and are grateful for the acknowledgement.
09:49Which is a nice way of saying, puck off, Trump.
09:51We...
09:52We got better things to do.
09:55But congratulations to all the U.S. Olympic athletes.
09:58They won more gold medals than we ever have at the Winter Games.
10:02And now...
10:04Now that the Winter Games are done in Italy, the Winter Games come to us.
10:08Another Snowmageddon is looming over much of the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic.
10:12It's like Snowmageddon out there.
10:15Snowmageddon.
10:16Snowmageddon.
10:17Snowmageddon.
10:18Snowmageddon.
10:18Snowmageddon.
10:20Snowmageddon.
10:20I've never...
10:21I haven't heard anybody say Snowmageddon yet.
10:25Snowmageddon.
10:27What did that mean in English, Guillermo?
10:29I don't have no idea.
10:30You don't know. Okay.
10:32They got six inches in Washington, D.C. today, which is about four inches more than God gave FCC Chairman
10:38Brendan Carr.
10:40This is the weasel who is trying to keep political candidates off late-night TV talk shows, another plan that
10:48backfired spectacularly last week.
10:50Brendan Carr is working very hard to put a price on free speech.
10:55And on top of being the president's little colonel in the war on talk shows, he's now urging the networks
11:01to air what he calls patriotic pro-America content to commemorate the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.
11:09America's turning 250 years old this year, and I guess that UFC fight on the White House lawn isn't patriotic
11:16enough.
11:16So, he wants more civic-minded programming.
11:20He wrote, this type of programming is more relevant than ever, as surveys show that civics education is in rapid
11:27decline.
11:28Gee, wonder why that is.
11:30Your boss hired the woman who ran Monday Night Raw to run the Department of Education.
11:36Okay?
11:37But Brendan Carr did have some thoughts on how the networks can improve.
11:42He suggested that we start each broadcast day with the Star Spangled Banner or the Pledge of Allegiance and running
11:49short PSAs highlighting this day in American history, which I have to admit is not a bad idea.
11:55And I think you're going to like this, Brendan, because we are pleased to be the first ever broadcast outlet
12:00to present what I hope will be many installments of our newest and most patriotic Brendan Carr-inspired segment.
12:06It is called This Day in American History.
12:09Federal Communications Commission Chairman Brendan Carr and Jimmy Kimmel Live present This Day in American History.
12:20February 23, 1940, legendary folk musician Woody Guthrie writes, This Land is Your Land, a song that went on to
12:28become one of the most enduring protest songs of all time.
12:32Guthrie would later go on to write Old Man Trump paying tribute to Donald Trump's racist father, Fred, who refused
12:39to rent to black people.
12:41February 23, 1954, children at Arsenal Elementary in Pittsburgh received the first ever polio vaccine, a disease that, along with
12:51measles, is making a comeback.
12:52Thanks to Fred Trump's idiot son, and on February 22, 1997, 29 years from yesterday, Donald Trump invited his favorite
13:04pedophile BFF Jeff to his home to be photographed in a warm embrace.
13:09What did they do after they took this picture?
13:12What did they do after they took this picture? That's their wonderful secret. God bless America. Thanks for the inspiration,
13:18Brendan.
13:20This has been This Day in American History.
13:26I have to admit, it's right. It was a good idea. Thank you, Brendan.
13:30We're now on day 10 of the partial government shutdown. On Saturday, Kristi Noem's Department of Homeland Security abruptly announced
13:38they would be suspending the TSA pre-check program due to staffing shortages.
13:42And yesterday, because of all the backlash, they announced they were suspending the suspension of TSA pre-check, which is
13:49now back on.
13:51The DHS was hoping that inconveniencing travelers would put pressure on Democrats to fold, but it turned out they can't
13:58screw us any more than Spirit Airlines already has.
14:01And while Kristi Noem is playing chicken with our flights, her Department of Homeland Security is reportedly trying to buy
14:07her a $70 million luxury jet right now.
14:10They say it will be used to transport Secretary Noem and for deportations.
14:16Hopefully not at the same time, I'd hate for somebody to get deported and have to sit next to Kristi
14:21Noem on the flight, but it's quite a jet.
14:25It's got a kitchen. It's got a bar. It's got four large flat screen TVs and even a bedroom with
14:32a queen size bed, you know, to help with all the deportations.
14:35And who knows, maybe you meet somebody sexy at work and you want to, you know, it's mind boggling. It
14:40really is.
14:40There are so many horrible surprises coming out of this Department of Homeland Security, but this is not one of
14:46them.
14:46This is the acting chief security officer for the DHS is this woman, Awana B. Horan.
14:56And yes, that is a real name. I know it's a real name because I checked 14 different times.
15:03Every time her name came back, Awana B. Horan.
15:07If your name was Awana Horan, why would you use the B?
15:15Awana B. Horan is a challenging name to be sure, but Awana is one of many Americans living with hilarious
15:22names.
15:22So, uh, we had our intrepid team of researchers comb through the internet to find many, many other unfortunates who
15:30must really, really love their dads.
15:33We begin by wishing Elizabeth Hiscock of Reedville a very happy 90th birthday.
15:38Lanigan Mayor Tony Mycock can't understate how important this is.
15:43We are William Hercock.
15:45The name to trust.
15:46That's beautifully caressed straight down the ground by Quentin DeCock.
15:49Brendan Cockburn, who saw the whole thing and shot this video.
15:53Jill Sidebottom with the National Christmas Tree Association.
15:56The man's name is Looney Tune.
15:58Matthew Pancake is charged.
16:00The man Edward Cocaine.
16:0134-year-old patches magic beans.
16:04Hi, I'm Dick Kipps with Mission Park Funeral Challenge in the cemetery.
16:07I'm Tila Kunz, and I'm the student's union president.
16:09The Honorable Ginger Gooch will be filling the vacancy.
16:12Hey everybody, I'm Dr. B.J. Hardick. It's that time of year again.
16:15Tini Cox, thanks very much.
16:17My pleasure for having me.
16:18And Dick Bigger Jr.
16:20The bigger the better.
16:21Oh yeah.
16:23In studio, David Sackrider, ABC 12 News.
16:26Right on, David. Right on.
16:29We have a good show for you tonight.
16:30Taylor Tomlinson is here.
16:32We have music from Arnold Park.
16:34Sarah and Joan Watkins are singing with the band.
16:36And we'll be right back with Christina Applegate.
16:39So stick around.
16:43Let's get to it.
16:44Who would I tell you what I want to say when you live in my shell?
16:49Get to you, girl?
16:50That I can feel what the big piece of everything.
17:01We've got a new comedy special on Netflix.
17:05It's called Prodigal Daughter.
17:07Taylor Tomlinson is with us tonight.
17:09And one later, all the way from London,
17:11her album, Ambiguous Desire, comes out April 3rd.
17:15Music from Arlo Parks.
17:17We've got new shows all this week.
17:19Let's see, who's on them?
17:21Jason Bateman will be here, Sterling K. Brown,
17:23Chloe Kim, Benny Blanco, Dave Little, Dickie Byrd will be here,
17:27and Joyous Smart Night after the State of the Union
17:29for a special post-tantrum wrap-up
17:32with the gang from Pod Save America
17:33and music from Linda Perry.
17:35And sitting in with the Cletones all week long this week,
17:38this is their album right here.
17:39It's called Brother, Sister.
17:41Sarah and Sean Watkins are here on our show.
17:44Hi, guys.
17:47I like having siblings in the house.
17:49Our first guest tonight is an American treasure,
17:52an Emmy-winning actor, podcaster, and now a writer, too.
17:56This is her memoir.
17:57It's called You with the Sad Eyes.
17:59It comes out March 3rd.
18:01Please welcome Christina Applegate.
18:36You are nuts.
18:41I'm such an .
18:42Let me just recount the conversation we just had.
18:46I have lip gloss on, and I ignore that,
18:48and kiss you right on the lips.
18:49And he said, I also have the flu.
18:55Well, thank you.
18:56I do.
18:56You know what, I'm honored to get the flu from you.
18:59It might be COVID.
19:01I don't know.
19:02I'd rather it was COVID at this point.
19:04I'm just super duper sick, but it's fine.
19:06And you're going to have it.
19:07And your lips look beautiful, my sweet friend.
19:11I will tell you, if I do get it, I will laugh,
19:13and I will text you, and I will curse you.
19:17I have stories to say how I got this, but anyway.
19:20OK.
19:21Oh, really?
19:21Oh, interesting.
19:22Well, maybe that'll be your next book.
19:23Yeah.
19:24No.
19:25You, this is not your typical celebrity memoir.
19:29No.
19:29There are some very sad stories in here,
19:32some very dark stories.
19:33You've been through a lot of stuff.
19:35But you really, I mean, really, even like,
19:38I think that's a good example, you coming out with the flu
19:40and making a joke out of it.
19:41You really are great at keeping,
19:45having a positive outlook for things
19:47that a lot of people, like myself, would not feel positive about.
19:53Do you think that's true?
20:00It's very hard for me to say that, like, I'm, I'm, I have a positive outlook about it.
20:05I have an outlook?
20:09Mm-hmm.
20:09That's all I can say.
20:10It's like, you know, I, you know, when they said, let's do this, like, three years ago,
20:16or two and a half years ago, do you want to write down your, your crap?
20:22Um, I was like, okay, and it was just my life.
20:29It's, it's, it's hard.
20:30Guys, we all go through some things that are really, really difficult.
20:34And this is not like, you know, this thing.
20:38It's like, it was, it's really painful.
20:40And if you, if you want to read it, and I'm so sorry if it's really tragic to you,
20:45but it's, it's kind of a tragic story about my life.
20:49It's just...
20:50It's true.
20:51It's true.
20:51It's what happened.
20:53It's true.
20:53It's what happened.
20:54Yeah.
20:54And no one knew.
20:56No one knew.
20:57Very few people.
20:58I assume a couple, maybe family members a little bit.
21:01I mean, these are...
21:02No one knew.
21:03No one knew.
21:04Um, you, and you were, as we know, diagnosed with MS in 2021.
21:11Is that when it was?
21:11Yeah.
21:12Mm-hmm.
21:12And what I say, meant when I say that you keep it, I think maybe you make other people
21:17feel better about it.
21:18I know I've had that experience with you.
21:21Um, and even just the idea, like, to cope with this, you've given your body parts nicknames.
21:26Each of your body parts.
21:28Your arms.
21:30Your legs.
21:31Yeah.
21:31What are the names?
21:32So...
21:33They're pretty, they're pretty funny.
21:35Um, and by the way, this is not like, you know, derogatory to any of the people that
21:40I'm saying it about, because one of them is very famous.
21:43Oh, okay.
21:44One of your...
21:44Okay.
21:46Uh, this is Barbara.
21:48Don't worry about it.
21:49Barbara is married to Stanley.
21:52Mm-hmm.
21:52Stan...
21:52Barbara's gay.
21:55She has a friend.
21:56She has, like, a friend that she lives with.
21:59Does Stanley know?
22:00And he does, but he loves her.
22:02Okay, okay.
22:03Okay.
22:05And...
22:06The right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing.
22:08The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.
22:09They're, they're, like, they're good.
22:11Okay.
22:12And we have Meghan Markle.
22:14Uh-huh.
22:14And, um, and that's not a bad thing.
22:17It's like, Meghan, thank you.
22:19Like, thank you.
22:20And then there's Tootie.
22:22So...
22:22Tootie, as in facts of life Tootie.
22:25Uh-huh.
22:26So you got Barbara, Stanley, Meghan, Tootie.
22:29And then do you talk to Barbara, Stanley, Meghan, and Tootie?
22:32Yes, completely.
22:33Uh-huh.
22:33Because if, when they get weird...
22:35Uh-huh.
22:36...then we, we yell at them and say,
22:38Hey, man, stop it.
22:40And do you feel that that works?
22:42That that has an impact?
22:43It actually does.
22:44Because it's a, it's a brain disorder.
22:47So it kind of stops it.
22:49It's weird.
22:50Did someone tell you to do that?
22:51Or did you figure that out?
22:52No, I just, I don't know.
22:54You, um...
22:55I'm freaking brilliant.
22:57That's...
22:58And you also...
23:02You did something...
23:07You did something that I think most people wish they had done throughout their lives,
23:11which is keep a journal.
23:13Oh, jeez.
23:14When, how old were you when you started keeping a journal?
23:17Uh, ten?
23:18Ten years old.
23:18Ten years old.
23:19May I read one of the entries from your journal?
23:22You...
23:22Okay.
23:23Oh, God, there's tabs!
23:25Yeah, we got tabs.
23:26Oh, they're so good.
23:28I mean, they're, they're so good.
23:29Okay, so I'm gonna read this one here.
23:30All right.
23:31Um, I have it on card here.
23:33Okay.
23:33Okay.
23:33Here we go.
23:36You know what?
23:36Michael and his friend Jacob came over to my house.
23:39Nikki and Mariah were both over too.
23:40You'll not believe who I'm going out with.
23:42Fitz, can you believe that?
23:43He might be going to my grandma's with me for a whole week.
23:46That'll be the coolest Christmas I'll ever have.
23:48My God, breakfast, lunch, and dinner spent with him.
23:50I love him so much.
23:52I'm sick now.
23:53I have strep.
23:53Nikki likes Mike Farrell.
23:55Nikki...
23:55Natalie's going out with him.
23:56Nikki doesn't know that.
23:57I want to tell her, but I can't.
23:59My life is so good.
24:00Oh, my mom caught me smoking in front of the tracks.
24:03So now I quit.
24:04I got in so much trouble.
24:05Gotta go.
24:06Love me.
24:10Did you...
24:13Did you have these somewhere?
24:15And had you visited...
24:16Did you visit them specifically for the book?
24:19Yeah.
24:20Okay.
24:21So, yeah.
24:22I mean, when I was approached to do this, it was like, okay, let's open up the whole
24:28damn thing.
24:29Uh-huh.
24:29And we just opened up these things and started looking through stuff, and it was bizarro.
24:36Like, the stuff that I was writing was so...
24:39I mean, that's like a funny one.
24:41Uh-huh.
24:42There's other ones that are like...
24:43Right.
24:43Right, right, right.
24:44They're like...
24:45This.
24:47Like...
24:47Some other funny ones in here, too.
24:48Also, yeah.
24:49Not so funny.
24:50Yeah, right, right.
24:51Like, super saddy saddies.
24:52Has your...
24:53How old's your daughter?
24:56She's in the...
24:57She's in the back right now.
24:58She's 15.
24:59So let's be nice.
25:00Did you let her go through your teenage journals?
25:02I did.
25:03You did.
25:03I let her go through that one because I was like, it's...
25:07You're not unique in the sense of, like, just understand that your mom understands it.
25:14Right.
25:14You know?
25:14That, like, you're hurting.
25:17And...
25:18Sorry, I'm gonna say...
25:19I'm gonna say s*** happens.
25:20And it's awful.
25:22You know, for kids.
25:23I can't believe you just said that.
25:24I did it.
25:25I did it.
25:26Now we've gone too far.
25:30But I just felt like she wanted to...
25:32I needed her to, like, see that, like, her mom, like, understood that, like, it hurts.
25:38Yeah.
25:39F*** hurts.
25:39Sorry.
25:40Oh, God.
25:40I said it again.
25:41It's okay.
25:41It doesn't matter.
25:42Crap poopy hurts.
25:45But it...
25:46Yeah.
25:47Yeah, for kids, you know, you never think about your parents as teenagers.
25:51You know?
25:52Yeah, right.
25:52They just are what they are.
25:53And they tell you, I've been through this, you don't want to hear it.
25:56But then you have it in writing.
25:58They're like, you...
25:58You just make the food.
25:59And you're like, no, I really don't.
26:02Like, I get it, dude.
26:03Like, I was...
26:08Yeah, right, right.
26:09Like, I want you to feel me.
26:11And I want you to understand that I feel you.
26:13And that's kind of what this book is about.
26:15It's really about, I want people, you know, I went through a lot of stuff in my life.
26:21And in this book, there is some bad stuff that happened to me.
26:27And I really do want, like, all of us to kind of come together and, like, go...
26:33We have each other, okay?
26:35Yeah.
26:36All right, we're gonna take a break and we come back.
26:38This is Christina's book.
26:38It is called You With The Sad Eyes.
26:41We'll wrap up.
26:52Hi, everybody.
26:54We're back with Christina Applegate.
26:56This is her book.
26:58Of course, the first big thing was married with children.
27:02And you guys...
27:05And I think, like, you guys are...
27:07I think I know each one of you a little bit, some more than others.
27:11But it's kind of a great group, right?
27:13Yeah, we...
27:14Yeah, we're very, very tight.
27:16Incredibly tight.
27:17I mean, I talk to Ed, like, once a week.
27:22Ed O'Neill.
27:23Which is so...
27:23Yeah, Ed O'Neill.
27:24Sorry.
27:25He played a character named Al Bundy.
27:28Oh, everyone knows.
27:29Everyone knows.
27:32And, you know, we had, like, a weird relationship when we were doing the show.
27:37Not weird, like, in that way.
27:38Just get your...
27:41Sorry, I cuss a lot.
27:43But, no, now we just talk.
27:46We talk all the time.
27:48And he'll call me at, like, 7 in the morning.
27:51And then we'll be on the phone for, like, two hours.
27:55Oh, really?
27:56Oh.
27:56Yeah, and then he'll be like, ugh, I have to go.
28:00And I'm like, you called me, man.
28:05Like, what are we dealing with right now?
28:08It's just, I love that.
28:10I love that dude so much.
28:11You had a Super Bowl commercial this year.
28:13Oh, boy.
28:15Next in MS is what you're talking about.
28:18And what is the idea behind that?
28:20It's about, like, just having community, man.
28:23Because I think that, like, all of us that, I mean, you guys, I don't know.
28:27Raise your hands if you have a friend or a family member that has MS.
28:32Yeah.
28:33Yeah.
28:33Look at that audience right now.
28:35Yeah, right.
28:36Wow.
28:37All right.
28:38Yeah.
28:38That's what we're doing.
28:39Right, right.
28:40That's a lot of people.
28:41Boy, that's a lot of people.
28:42Yeah.
28:43That's about, what, 100?
28:46Yeah.
28:46We'll count them after the show.
28:48OK.
28:48Yeah.
28:50But I feel like we, we have to have, like, there's got to be more communities that are
28:56not, like, sentimental and weird.
28:59Like, I'm weird.
29:00Uh-huh.
29:01And I, I'm weird.
29:04You are a little weird.
29:06Yeah, yeah.
29:06I'm so weird.
29:07In a good way.
29:08Yeah, yeah.
29:08Let's talk weird.
29:11Well.
29:11Let's talk weird about MS.
29:13Yeah.
29:14Well, it's good.
29:14I mean, and even just saying, like, this thing you talk about, about naming your body parts
29:20and that it's an effective way to go about your day is probably helpful to people.
29:25And you've probably learned things from people who have this as well.
29:29Yeah.
29:29I don't know if everyone's going to be happy about the Meghan Markle one.
29:32No.
29:33Because I think she's probably going to be mad about that.
29:36I, you know what?
29:38It's really not, like, a bad thing.
29:40It's really, like...
29:41Why would she be mad that you named one of your favorite body parts?
29:44Can you just...
29:46Please help me, Meghan?
29:49No, I think she'll be perfectly okay with it.
29:51And if not, then, you know, whatever.
29:52Yeah.
29:53Whatever.
29:53I don't really give a...
29:54Well, I'm very happy to see you.
29:56I don't really give a crap on a cracker.
29:56And, um, uh, it's, uh, you know, it's, it's worth reading.
30:00The book is called You With The Sad Eyes.
30:02It comes out a week from tomorrow on March 3rd.
30:05Christina Applegate, everybody.
30:07We'll be back with Taylor Tomlinson.
30:12I'm once from a lifeline.
30:18I've grown from a boat.
30:21This week on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the hosts of Pod Save America, Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Dan Pfeiffer, and Tommy
30:30Vitor, plus Sterling K. Brown and Jason Bateman.
30:41We have music from Arlo Parks on the way.
30:48Our next guest is a very funny comedian with a very funny new comedy special.
30:52Taylor Tomlinson, Prodigal Daughter, premieres tomorrow night on Netflix.
30:56Please welcome Taylor Tomlinson.
31:14How are you?
31:15Hello.
31:15So nice to meet you.
31:16Nice to meet you, too.
31:17And you went in for the hug, too.
31:19That was so nice.
31:20I did.
31:20I would have never done that.
31:21I did.
31:21I would have never done that.
31:22I don't have the confidence.
31:23I might have gone in with the kiss, but I have the flu, um, now.
31:30Congratulations.
31:30Your fourth Netflix comedy special, which is a big deal.
31:34You know what?
31:35Is it a big deal to you still?
31:37It is.
31:38It is a big deal.
31:39And you know what's nice about it is I'm such...
31:41I'm, like, so much more mature about it.
31:43Like, my first one came out, and I was so nervous and scared.
31:46I'm like, what if people hate it?
31:47And now I'm like, you know what?
31:49If people hate it, that's kind of great, too.
31:51Like, I'm a very socially anxious, introverted person.
31:55The only reason I watch anything is so that I have something to say at parties.
31:59And if you watch my special, and you like it, and you go to a party the next night, and
32:04everyone's like, what did you think of the Taylor Thompson special?
32:05And you're like, I liked it.
32:06It was good.
32:07Dead in the water.
32:09That's all you have to say, right?
32:11Oh, right.
32:11You don't like it.
32:12And someone's like, what did you think of the Taylor Thompson special?
32:14And you're like, honestly, not her best.
32:16Thought it was weird.
32:17Long jacket indoors.
32:18Seems like she needs more therapy.
32:21Six out of ten.
32:22Not my favorite.
32:22There's more meat on the bone, right?
32:25It's almost time to go home.
32:27It's a very positive way of looking at it.
32:30You directed this.
32:32Was this your first time directing?
32:33It was.
32:34It was my first time directing, which I guess I just need more attention.
32:40But it was great.
32:40I mean, it's my fourth special in six years, and I had a great director on the last two,
32:44and I felt like, okay, I think I know how to do this now.
32:46And yeah, it was awesome.
32:48You speak about religion in the special, and you shot the special in a church.
32:53A real working church.
32:54Not an abandoned church.
32:56No, which is what I thought we were going to have to do, because if you watch the special,
32:59you'll understand.
33:01But I told my team, I was like, I want to film this in a church, thinking we'd have to
33:06find
33:06like a burned down, haunted one.
33:09And my agents found a working church, Fountain Street Church in Grand Rapids.
33:15And they do comedy shows, like they're part of the comedy festival that they have there
33:19every year, and like secular comedy shows.
33:22So they were like...
33:22Oh, wow.
33:23Yeah.
33:23And they didn't say, hey, you've got to keep it clean, you've got to be respectful,
33:27any of that stuff?
33:28No.
33:28No.
33:28They're going to hell.
33:29No, I'm kidding.
33:30No, they really didn't.
33:32It was kind of awesome.
33:33I was like...
33:34I kept checking in.
33:35I was like, do they know what I'm going to do up there?
33:37But yeah, they were great.
33:38Did they pass the collection plate around at any point?
33:41If they did, I did not see that money.
33:44Or you...
33:45When you do...
33:46Because I know you're from a family that...
33:48You know, you're a religious family.
33:50Do you worry about how they might react when they see the special?
33:54You know, I was worried about...
33:56Like, I talk about my uncle in the special, who's a pastor, and I was a little worried about
34:00that, but he and my aunt, my cousins, they all came to see the show on tour several times,
34:05and that support meant so much to me, and I have so much respect for them.
34:09And them accepting me, even though I'm agnostic and whatnot now as an adult, really informed
34:16a lot of the opinions and perspectives I have in the special.
34:20So the special is, in a way, kind of like a love letter to them.
34:23Mm-hmm.
34:24But yeah, I mean, I was obviously a little nervous.
34:26Yeah.
34:26But I think it's just, like, important to have empathetic conversations with your family
34:32that might believe different things in you and, like, try to find ways to connect,
34:36and that's how you kind of get through to people.
34:39Like, you know, maybe just sit down with your grandpa and say, like,
34:42Okay, Grandpa, you know how you feel when you see gay people kissing in public?
34:47Okay, so that's how we feel when you start praying out loud in Olive Garden.
34:55Okay?
34:57It's...
34:57That's a nice way of putting it, yeah.
34:59Right?
35:00Like, we're not mad, but, like, there's kids here, you know?
35:03It's just...
35:03You did something in the special that I think is a risky thing to do,
35:06and it shows that you have a lot of confidence in yourself,
35:09which is Q&A with the audience at the end.
35:11Oh, yeah.
35:11I thought you were gonna say, wear a skirt, and I was like, that was brave of me.
35:15Uh, yeah, well, when I was on tour, we were doing something called crowd confessions
35:19at the end of the show, which was not really a Q&A,
35:22because I have introverted fans as well, which I love.
35:25And so I like to talk to the audience during the show,
35:28but I know that my audience maybe is a little quieter
35:31and, like, doesn't want to yell their secrets at 3,000 people, which I respect.
35:34Can't relate, but I respect it.
35:36Mm-hmm.
35:36And so we would hand out pamphlets, like, at church, and it had, like, a series of questions in it
35:42that they could text in answers to, and so we had, like, a rundown of questions,
35:47and so they could just text in, and then we'd read through them at the end of the show.
35:50Um, but I do talk to people during the show as well, and I usually have, like, certain questions I
35:55like to ask.
35:56Like, I was asking on this last tour, what do you want to happen to your body after you're dead?
36:01Um, it's really fun, really fun special.
36:04Oh.
36:04And, uh, and one of my favorite answer I got is there was a guy who yelled out,
36:10Viking funeral, which, yeah, when they set the thing on fire and they shoot it,
36:15and I was like, I hope you have a niece or nephew that you're sending to summer camp, man,
36:19because someone's got to make that shot, and it's not an easy shot.
36:23The boat gets smaller and smaller the further away it gets.
36:26And if they miss, that's not a Viking funeral anymore.
36:29That's just a dead guy in a boat.
36:32And that's not as festive. That's Stand By Me 2.
36:37You, um...
36:39So there's a very funny home video clip at the end of the special.
36:44There is, yeah.
36:44Will you, uh, because I'd like to share that, if you don't mind,
36:47and will you explain what's going on in this clip?
36:49Yes, so one of the questions that I asked on tour was,
36:52who was your queer awakening?
36:53And we got a bunch of great answers every night.
36:56We got, uh, you know, Shego from Kim Possible a lot.
36:59We got, uh, I know, there we go, some fans.
37:02Uh, we had Robin Hood, the Fox version.
37:04Everyone was always very clear it was the Fox version.
37:07Oh.
37:08Um, and then people would always ask me what my queer awakening was,
37:11and the reason I know what mine was is because we have this home video of me
37:14when I was, like, three years old talking to my mom in the kitchen.
37:17And do you guys remember the girl deer from Bambi, Falleen?
37:20Yes, I do.
37:21Yes, we do.
37:21Yes, we do.
37:22Apparently, she was my queer awakening.
37:24And we know, thanks to this clip.
37:26Here we go.
37:27Why is he best?
37:29Because he's just the best.
37:32Well, what about Falleen?
37:33Isn't she the best, too?
37:34Yeah, she's very pretty.
37:36She looks like a hot dog in a pan.
37:40She looks like a hot dog in a pan?
37:43My goodness.
37:45What does that mean?
37:46I don't know.
37:50I don't know.
37:51I don't know.
37:52I don't know.
37:52I'm a hot dog in a pan.
37:53I'm a hot dog in a pan.
37:54I'm a sizzling.
37:55Well, it's great to have you here.
37:56Taylor Tomlinson, everybody.
37:57Prodigal Daughter.
37:58The news tomorrow on Netflix.
38:00We'll be back with Arlo Parks.
38:10Thanks to Christina Applegate and Taylor Tomlinson.
38:12Apologies to Matt Damon.
38:14Nightline is next.
38:15But first, her album, Ambiguous Desire, comes out April 3rd.
38:19Here with the song Two-Sided, Arlo Parks.
38:42I've been waiting for this moment all night.
38:46Yeah, I only made it out for you.
38:50Joey's sipping beer, I'm guarding his steps.
38:54There's a butterfly effect.
38:56Cause I, I feel my heartbeat climb.
39:03The moonlight cuts through wide.
39:07My friends are all inside.
39:14The heat out in the dark, my head is so bright.
39:23The heat out in the dark.
39:31The heat out in the dark.
39:33The heat out in the dark.
39:35The heat out in the dark.
39:35The heat out in the dark.
39:37The heat out in the dark.
39:39The heat out in the dark.
39:40The heat out in the dark.
39:41The heat out in the dark.
39:42The heat out in the dark.
39:42The heat out in the dark.
39:42The heat out in the dark.
39:43The heat out in the dark.
39:44The heat out in the dark.
39:45The heat out in the dark.
39:48There's a sadness that I really can't shake
39:52And my vision's got a few strides
39:56I never really feel at home anywhere
40:00It's the right place at the wrong time
40:04I feel my heart be gone
40:09I'm moved like hearts could run
40:13My friends are all inside
40:21The heat I'm looked at, my head is so cold
40:29You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
40:34The heat I'm looked at, my head is so cold
40:46You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
40:54The heat I'm looked at, my head is so cold
41:02You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
41:08You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
41:10You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
41:43You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
41:48You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
41:58You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
41:58You know how I feel, tell me it's too slow
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