A Girl Find True Love ( HD ) [Full Movie]

Lady Love Britain

A Girl Find True Love ( HD ).

Transcript

00:00:00Art is supposed to be subjective, but Kingpun's art is subjectively good, while mine is objectively struggling, and at the

00:00:09worst time possible.

00:00:10Right now, I need to be on my A-game to get into the CalArts summer program, aka my dream

00:00:16school.

00:00:17Through your medium of choice, show us your happiest moment.

00:00:20Are you fucking kidding me?

00:00:22What a vague bullshit prompt.

00:00:24A vague bullshit prompt that will determine if I have a shot in hell at getting into one of the

00:00:28most competitive schools in the country, which will determine if I have a future in art at all.

00:00:33No pressure, though.

00:00:34So how do I answer this impossible question?

00:00:37Huh, what if my happiest moment was when I came out to my mom?

00:00:41Okay, now turn it to the right.

00:00:46Also, I think I'm gay.

00:00:48Actually, I know I am.

00:00:49Ew, Barbara from next door is gay!

00:00:52Oh, okay?

00:00:52Sorry, my first instinct was to name other gay people we know.

00:00:56Honey, I'm so happy for you!

00:00:58She's always been supportive.

00:00:59Paige!

00:01:00Paige!

00:01:01Come on, no edibles before school.

00:01:03We've talked about this.

00:01:03Dylan's almost here.

00:01:04You're gonna be late.

00:01:05What if I just skipped the rest of junior year and went right to CalArts?

00:01:09Well, you could, but then you wouldn't get a lot of cool free swag from me.

00:01:14I'm already scared.

00:01:16I can't wait.

00:01:16Look.

00:01:17Glow-in-the-dark dental dams.

00:01:19They make your post kind of glow.

00:01:21It's so pretty.

00:01:22It's just a soft glow.

00:01:23Mom.

00:01:24When I was a teenager, we used to use glow-in-the-dark condoms.

00:01:26It really added a touch of whimsy to an otherwise fraught situation.

00:01:30We don't use those.

00:01:31We?

00:01:33Finally.

00:01:34Oh, my gosh, Paige.

00:01:36Is it Colleen from next door?

00:01:38Because she's so tall.

00:01:39I like that.

00:01:40Statuesque.

00:01:40It's not anybody.

00:01:41Because we, the queer community, we don't use those.

00:01:46So, just vibrators?

00:01:48Isn't that a little limiting?

00:01:50Probably.

00:01:51Okay.

00:01:51I'm going to put him here because I feel like you're going to change your mind.

00:01:54But if not, let me know because I have the receipt.

00:01:56Okay.

00:01:56Maybe she's a little too supportive.

00:01:59And that would be my best friend, Dylan.

00:02:02He's kind of like my platonic soulmate.

00:02:06I've always been able to share anything with him.

00:02:11Actually, maybe that was my happiest moment.

00:02:13So, I like girls.

00:02:16Me too.

00:02:17I still share everything with him.

00:02:19Even a Spotify account.

00:02:21I know.

00:02:21Spotify informed me.

00:02:23You live in the Phoebe Bridges for eight hours straight last night.

00:02:25Which is concerning because she only has two albums.

00:02:28Are you okay?

00:02:29Sad lesbian music is an integral part of my identity.

00:02:33So, I'm assuming that the application is not going well.

00:02:36Just can't figure out what to send in.

00:02:39I know that colleges love a good coming out story.

00:02:41Please don't do that.

00:02:42You'd be like the billionth gay person today.

00:02:44How about you draw my presidential portrait?

00:02:46Hmm.

00:02:47That's a cute idea, Dylan.

00:02:49It's good, isn't it?

00:02:49But your political ambitions, they aren't my happiest moment.

00:02:53You know what I mean?

00:02:54You think that your crush on Gabriella Campos is Cal art-worthy?

00:02:58What?

00:02:59Unrequited love is the source of a lot of great art.

00:03:02And there's nothing more unrequited than my crush on Gabriella Campos.

00:03:08That's not Gabby.

00:03:10That's her sister, AJ.

00:03:14All right, kids.

00:03:16Time for this week's take-home project.

00:03:18Find a partner.

00:03:19Want to be my partner?

00:03:20That is Gabby.

00:03:22Sure.

00:03:23Now, I want to see you share responsibilities like real parents would.

00:03:28What should we name it?

00:03:29How about lentil?

00:03:31Lentil the egg.

00:03:33So dumb.

00:03:35I love it.

00:03:37Hi, lentil.

00:03:39Your moms love you very much.

00:03:44She's kind of the first girl who made me feel like life could be as good as art.

00:03:48You know?

00:03:53No!

00:03:53I'm not going to let you spend all of high school pining over some girl who doesn't give you the

00:03:57time of day.

00:03:58You know I don't like to serve my power as class president, but I'm going to have to if this

00:04:01keeps up.

00:04:02Stacey is going to win.

00:04:04Also, you do know that as class president, you don't have any actual power, right?

00:04:08That is a sad way to look at democracy.

00:04:23All right.

00:04:26Holy shit.

00:04:26You like?

00:04:27Save water.

00:04:28Shower together.

00:04:30That looks so hot.

00:04:31Damn, Stacey's also really hot.

00:04:33Great job with these, by the way.

00:04:36Though I do feel like you spent a little bit more time in Stacey's.

00:04:38Nope.

00:04:38I told you guys, I'm Switzerland.

00:04:40Oh, shit.

00:04:42They are also a little bit wet.

00:04:45Thanks for telling me that after I pick it up.

00:04:47And yeah, I'll just close the...

00:04:49Okay, no.

00:04:50Conio.

00:04:51Ay.

00:04:51Anyway, as I was saying, as your future class president, I think it's time for you to move on from

00:04:56Gabriela.

00:04:56It's too predictable to go for the most popular girl in school.

00:05:00Great.

00:05:00Right on cue.

00:05:01All of them.

00:05:02I want it all.

00:05:03Give me all of that.

00:05:03All of them.

00:05:04Give me, give me, give me all of them.

00:05:05All of them.

00:05:06I want it all.

00:05:07Give me all of that.

00:05:07All of them.

00:05:08Give me, give me, give me, give me all of them.

00:05:09Is she in slow motion again?

00:05:10Yeah.

00:05:10Music playing in the background?

00:05:12Mm-hmm.

00:05:12Funny feeling down there?

00:05:13Naturally.

00:05:14You are a lost cause.

00:05:15Ay, que joder.

00:05:18Heads up!

00:05:19Bye back.

00:05:21Yeah.

00:05:22Let's go.

00:05:23Let's go.

00:05:24Yeah.

00:05:24Uh-uh.

00:05:25Uh-uh.

00:05:27Shut the hell up.

00:05:29Starting the week strong with the new Kingpun mural.

00:05:31You know everyone's still thinking it's you, right?

00:05:33Well, little do they know, my rage anxiety would never let me deface school property.

00:05:37Whoa!

00:05:38Could you please not waste water and undermine my political platform?

00:05:42Oh, Kingpun did it again.

00:05:43Check it out.

00:05:44I kind of think that this one's good.

00:05:45I think it's kind of corny.

00:05:47Well, I think that you can't draw for shit.

00:05:49And I think that they're actually talented.

00:05:51No, you're so funny.

00:05:54Okay, everyone, away from the vandalization!

00:05:57Oh, God, here we go.

00:05:58If any of you have any information, as my mother used to say, snitches get riches.

00:06:04Have you ever seen him smile?

00:06:05Once.

00:06:06At a fire drill.

00:06:08He loved the chaos of it.

00:06:09Hey, nice mural, Paige.

00:06:10Tim, ugh, I love this little bit that we've got going, but it's not me.

00:06:16Oh, sure, Paige.

00:06:17Sure, Tim.

00:06:19No, it's definitely her.

00:06:21Doy!

00:06:22Hey, Kingpun thinks she's not Kingpun.

00:06:34Kingpun is who you should date, unless it's a dude or unless it's you.

00:06:37Because then you'd just be dating yourself and that would be weird.

00:06:39Hmm, you have no idea how hard it is out here for your everyday gay doing.

00:06:44Stop making excuses.

00:06:46You've been in a relationship since the first day of middle school.

00:06:48Also, this semester I'm going to make my move.

00:06:51Oh, yeah?

00:06:51Name one time they made a move.

00:06:52Uh, there was that server at Cheesecake Factory that gave me extra brown bread.

00:06:56It was her job.

00:06:56It was sexual.

00:06:57Hey, Stacey.

00:06:58Hey, you.

00:07:00Hmm.

00:07:00Did you turn your class president up in yet?

00:07:02You know I love some competition.

00:07:04Ooh, you know what happened to the deadline since the fifth grade?

00:07:07And that was only because I had severe chickenpox.

00:07:10But it was the worst case they'd ever seen.

00:07:13How is this a lot in school?

00:07:15Hmm.

00:07:16Hmm.

00:07:17God, I love when you're the best at things.

00:07:18Oh, yeah.

00:07:19Hmm.

00:07:21Wow.

00:07:22You guys are so straight, it's almost gay.

00:07:24Hmm.

00:07:25Do you guys want to come over after school and take edibles and watch track?

00:07:29So you could convince yourself that a CBD dog tree made you high again?

00:07:32Yeah.

00:07:32No, thank you.

00:07:33Plus, after school, we can't.

00:07:34We have track trials.

00:07:35Ugh.

00:07:36Why would you sweat when you don't have to?

00:07:38Well, you know, Paige, some people actually enjoy physical activity.

00:07:41Shocking.

00:07:41I know.

00:07:42Will you help me meet one of these?

00:07:43Sure.

00:07:43And me, some of these?

00:07:45The impending water wars depend on my win.

00:07:47Not that I took the high road while taking down the establishment.

00:07:49That is so fun.

00:07:51You can't help me take it.

00:07:53No.

00:07:54Okay, no.

00:07:54No.

00:07:55No, no, no, no, no.

00:07:56Okay, no.

00:07:56There are plenty of other queer options for you to date at this school.

00:07:59Please.

00:08:00Like who?

00:08:01Yeah, Paige.

00:08:02What about Shatel?

00:08:03I mean, she's like a cool Wiccan lesbian.

00:08:06I don't know.

00:08:07She's tried to put a love spell on me at least six times.

00:08:09If I'm going to date a witch, she has to be a talented one.

00:08:11Okay, true, true, true.

00:08:14How about...

00:08:14Oh, how about Aaron Billnings?

00:08:18No, she's a horse gay.

00:08:19All right, that's a little redacted.

00:08:22Stacey's just mad because she spent a summer at a question camp.

00:08:25What about I am?

00:08:27No, wait.

00:08:28I definitely don't have enough followers to date them.

00:08:31Plus, they're on and off with Gabby every other week.

00:08:34True.

00:08:35Hey, what about Amy?

00:08:37Amy?

00:08:38Yeah, right.

00:08:38Gateway gay.

00:08:39She's fingered every girl on the school.

00:08:41So what?

00:08:42I'm sure she's washed her hands.

00:08:44Wait, duh.

00:08:45What about AJ?

00:08:46Why would I ever do that?

00:08:47That's literally Gabby's sister.

00:08:48Also, is she even queer?

00:08:50Yeah, she's bi.

00:08:51And she's mysterious as hell.

00:08:53Yeah.

00:08:53AJ actually came out way before Gabs, but Gabs just dates more, so everybody forgets that

00:08:58AJ's queer, too.

00:08:59Talk about bi erasure.

00:09:01Gabby!

00:09:01Hey, Miss President.

00:09:03Hey.

00:09:03Excuse you.

00:09:04Anyway, question.

00:09:05Do you have the sign-up sheets for track trials today?

00:09:07I sure do.

00:09:09Let me get that for you.

00:09:11Hey.

00:09:12Here you are.

00:09:15Oh, Gabby.

00:09:15You know Paige, right?

00:09:17Um, yeah.

00:09:19Your locker is a site for sore eyes.

00:09:23Um, thanks.

00:09:25Are you coming out today?

00:09:27I've actually, I've been out for a really long time.

00:09:29I'm extremely gay.

00:09:30Oh.

00:09:30I was actually talking about track tryouts.

00:09:35Right.

00:09:36Yeah, I'm gonna see you there.

00:09:37I'm gonna, I'm gonna go on the track.

00:09:40Yeah, right.

00:09:40The last time Paige ran, she was fleeing from a bee.

00:09:43It was hilarious.

00:09:44It's on YouTube.

00:09:44I watch it whenever I'm depressed.

00:09:46No, it's not.

00:09:48Well, I should run, but maybe I'll see you later.

00:09:50Bye, Gabby.

00:09:51Hi, Gabby.

00:09:52So long.

00:09:52Vote for Dylan, babe.

00:09:54No, she's not gonna vote for you, honey.

00:09:56Stop staring without consent, please.

00:09:58It's horrifying.

00:10:00Really?

00:10:01You?

00:10:01Track tryouts?

00:10:03Yeah, that's, that's it.

00:10:05That's how we're gonna fall in love.

00:10:07I think you and Gabriella would be disgustingly cute together.

00:10:09And I think that if it were going to happen, it would have happened already.

00:10:13You can't force these things.

00:10:14Babe, I love you, but you're so wrong.

00:10:17How many copies do you guys need?

00:10:19One thousand.

00:10:19Two thousand.

00:10:20One thousand.

00:10:20Four thousand.

00:10:21Five thousand.

00:10:22Six thousand.

00:10:22Gotcha!

00:10:23Evans, I knew it was you.

00:10:25Principal's office now.

00:10:26Go.

00:10:27Oh, crap.

00:10:28I forgot my cleats.

00:10:29Can you help me?

00:10:30Turn off the light.

00:10:32Shut the door.

00:10:34Okay, actually, leave it open.

00:10:37I assume you know why you're here?

00:10:39Am I in trouble or something?

00:10:41We are so done with your games now, Evans.

00:10:43Okay, take it down, Dexter Morgan.

00:10:46You're not a detective and this is not a cop show.

00:10:48Paige, we know that you are king pun, okay?

00:10:52And it's not that the artwork isn't great.

00:10:53It's really good.

00:10:54But all the pictures and the painting all over the school last semester, and not to mention

00:10:59a new mural every week?

00:11:01That's not true.

00:11:02Oh, you know it's true.

00:11:04Sorry.

00:11:05Come on.

00:11:06The school board is not happy.

00:11:07Mm-hmm.

00:11:08And plus, all the kids are tagging you every week in some king pun art.

00:11:11God damn it, Tim.

00:11:13Tim, you guys, I swear on my life it's not me.

00:11:18But you wish you'd invest in that lie detector now, right?

00:11:21No.

00:11:22No, I actually don't.

00:11:23Why?

00:11:23And I'm really tired of you bringing it up all the time.

00:11:25Oh, she...

00:11:25Because we had to take care of something called asbestos, all right?

00:11:29Listen, I'm sorry, kiddo, but I have to lead by example, so I'm going to have to suspend

00:11:35you.

00:11:35Call the police.

00:11:35No, we are not calling the police.

00:11:37What are you, Wyclef Jean?

00:11:39Are we going to call 911?

00:11:40Do you get that reference?

00:11:41You don't.

00:11:42God, my references are, like, older than Taylor Swift at this point.

00:11:45Listen, you're suspended.

00:11:47I called your mom, and she's on her way to pick you up.

00:11:49You can't suspend me for something that I literally did not do.

00:11:53Yeah, we can.

00:11:54No, we cannot.

00:11:56But you're the only student with the keys to the art room.

00:12:00Well, I was going to give these back today.

00:12:02Oh, well, you got blood on your hands.

00:12:04It's paint.

00:12:05Obviously, I know that.

00:12:07It's a metaphor.

00:12:08Well, I'm not metaphoric.

00:12:09It's acrylic paint, and those things are spray paint.

00:12:12Let's jot down that Miss Evans seems to have an intimate understanding of the weapon of

00:12:16her choice.

00:12:16No one's jotting down anything.

00:12:18Just jotting down.

00:12:19No, don't tell me what's...

00:12:20This is my office.

00:12:21You guys, please hear me out.

00:12:22I'm applying to a summer program at Cal Arts, and this is going to ruin my chances of it

00:12:26again.

00:12:27I'm sorry, Paige, but I looked at your records, and you were absent eight times last semester.

00:12:31Not to mention, you're not even part of one extracurricular activity.

00:12:35You're not the model student I can fight for.

00:12:37I play, I play, I play track.

00:12:42Not on my team, you don't.

00:12:44Well, I just joined today.

00:12:47I'm extremely cooperative with this type of stuff, so can't this count as a plea deal or

00:12:51something?

00:12:51Oh, impressive use of legal jargon, but you don't play track, you run track.

00:12:56Hear me out.

00:12:57How about I join track, Coach Murray keeps his eye on me, and I figure out in the meantime

00:13:04who King Pun actually is.

00:13:06Paige, I really like you, I do.

00:13:09Actually, that's a lie.

00:13:09I don't even know you.

00:13:10I hate myself that I have to say that, but the evidence is stacked against you, and I

00:13:13don't understand how playing track is supposed to help your case right now.

00:13:16Actually, I need another couple of people on the track team.

00:13:19You need people on the track team?

00:13:20I need some more people.

00:13:21Are you, and you want to take her?

00:13:23She just said, play track, like she's a DJ or something.

00:13:26Showing her how to run track.

00:13:27How are you supposed to make that Usain Bolt?

00:13:29You can't.

00:13:29I could use a couple more bodies on the track.

00:13:31I am exhausted.

00:13:32Okay, Paige, you're no longer suspended.

00:13:34You are just on probation, okay?

00:13:36If you can come up with a name who you think King Pun really is, because apparently it's

00:13:40not you, by the end of the semester, then I'll take it to the board meeting.

00:13:44Well, I will deliver.

00:13:46I can't wait.

00:13:48Great, get out.

00:13:48I have a renaissance club meeting that I'm not about to miss.

00:13:51You too.

00:13:52Take your little swimming board with you.

00:13:54God.

00:13:56Oh, it's like no moment to my soul.

00:13:59I wish there was more money for federal funding, because I'll tell you what, this ain't it.

00:14:05Thank you so much.

00:14:07Don't thank me yet.

00:14:08I'm watching you.

00:14:09Oh, hey, clipboard.

00:14:11I left a patient with a full bedpan for this.

00:14:13You are not suspending my daughter.

00:14:15We're not suspending.

00:14:15She did nothing wrong.

00:14:18I made a deal.

00:14:19You have a very savvy daughter, missus.

00:14:22Missus?

00:14:23Mm-hmm.

00:14:24That's very revealing.

00:14:26It's miss, but you can call me Angie, or Ange, or hey, girl.

00:14:32You know, I am a single mother, by choice, not by circumstance.

00:14:37I like to have sex with men.

00:14:39I don't even have to have a relationship.

00:14:41Hmm?

00:14:41What do you think of that?

00:14:43Well, hey, girl, if you don't mind me saying, you have an incredible figure.

00:14:48Oh, my God.

00:14:49We are in a school, sir.

00:14:51That is so wildly inappropriate.

00:14:54I'm sorry.

00:14:55And 100% spot on.

00:14:58This is gold.

00:14:59You should see me naked.

00:15:01Well, I'd say I'm sorry that you had to drive out here for nothing, but I'd be lying if I

00:15:05said

00:15:05it wasn't nice to meet you.

00:15:07I can't believe this guy.

00:15:09And, uh, if you do come to Paige's track meet, don't be afraid to say hello.

00:15:17I'm not afraid of anything.

00:15:18It's you who should be afraid.

00:15:23Wow.

00:15:24Track?

00:15:25That's fucked up.

00:15:26Yeah, the deal just didn't work out that great for me, but it did for you, so.

00:15:30Yeah, it really did.

00:15:32Yeah.

00:15:33Is he in the school directory?

00:15:42Basically, if I don't find kingpun, then my life is over.

00:15:45But on the plus side, you totally fit in here.

00:15:48I feel like I look like a very specific type of gay right now.

00:15:52Do I at least look like a top?

00:15:54Total bottom.

00:15:55Maybe a power bottom.

00:15:56Like, you call her daddy and she calls you her sweet little prince.

00:16:01Okay, listen up.

00:16:04Come on, come on in here.

00:16:06Let's go.

00:16:07Gather round.

00:16:08Listen up.

00:16:09Returning athletes.

00:16:11I'm going to be looking to make sure that you kept your training up during the offseason.

00:16:15All right?

00:16:16Now, you newcomers, our co-captains, AJ and Gabby here, will be helping place you in an event.

00:16:25All right.

00:16:26Got this.

00:16:26For, uh, Evans over there, just try to find the thing that she sucks at the least.

00:16:32All right?

00:16:33Don't you want to at least see me try out before you think that I suck?

00:16:36No.

00:16:37Okay.

00:16:38Back to it.

00:16:39Let's go.

00:16:41Come on.

00:16:41She's coming.

00:16:42She's coming.

00:16:42Hey, you made it.

00:16:43I'll be sure to let you know if I see any angry bees around.

00:16:47Did you know that male bees lose their penises when they have sex with a queen bee?

00:16:53Uh, no, we didn't.

00:16:55But now we sure do, right?

00:16:57Yeah.

00:16:58Yeah, we should get started.

00:17:00Don't worry.

00:17:01You're going to be great.

00:17:04Thanks.

00:17:05Thanks.

00:17:06Thanks.

00:17:28Thanks.

00:17:30Bye.

00:17:33Bye.

00:17:35Bye.

00:17:36Bye.

00:17:36See what I saw

00:17:38Help me out

00:17:40On and on and on

00:17:42Doesn't make me feel bad

00:17:44Subliminal, that's what I thought

00:17:47Great and now

00:17:48On and on and on

00:17:51Ow!

00:17:52Shit!

00:17:53You fucking can't be

00:18:00Ow!

00:18:01Ow!

00:18:04You good?

00:18:04Thanks

00:18:06No!

00:18:20I have an idea!

00:18:21How do you feel about running in a straight line?

00:18:23That's the only straight thing I can do

00:18:27Okay

00:18:29I regretted it this second

00:18:30I left my mouth

00:18:33You mean out here into the 4x1?

00:18:35Do you have a better idea?

00:18:37Alright

00:18:38Here we go

00:18:40Mark

00:18:40Get set

00:18:42No, no doubt

00:18:44Ain't fun, let's get it

00:18:45Go!

00:18:46Come on, come on face

00:18:47Come on

00:18:48I feel it

00:18:49I feel it

00:18:55Look at you

00:18:58Look at you

00:18:59Look at you

00:19:11Look at you

00:19:18That's a woman alive

00:19:19That was mediocre at best

00:19:21Yeah, I took an Instagram story and went over the time limit

00:19:23Damn, but you did it

00:19:25With a little work, maybe you could be fine

00:19:26She's 4 seconds behind where she needs to be

00:19:29Well, maybe I need someone great to teach me after school

00:19:33Alright, that's a terrible idea

00:19:35Uh, AJ

00:19:37You're gonna train Paige

00:19:39Okay?

00:19:40Isn't that literally your job as coach?

00:19:42No

00:19:42My job as coach is to motivate through fear

00:19:45Besides

00:19:46I don't get paid enough to stay after school

00:19:48Come on

00:19:49I'm watching you Evans

00:19:50Welcome to the team

00:19:51Alright, King Pine

00:19:52I'm not King Pine

00:19:53Your shorts are on backwards

00:19:55What?

00:20:01Can you hurry up, Angie?

00:20:02I'm starving

00:20:03You're not the boss anymore

00:20:04You knew we were gonna be home

00:20:05Why was it the food ring?

00:20:07Today was great

00:20:08I almost killed somebody with a javelin

00:20:11It's true

00:20:11And then it was nearly death by hurdle

00:20:13Also very true

00:20:15And I embarrassed myself in front of Gabriela

00:20:18Just because Paige's sex life is in a drought

00:20:20Doesn't mean the rest of the world has to be

00:20:21Come on, Angie, we've talked about this

00:20:23She's so strict

00:20:24Sometimes I think fondly back onto this morning

00:20:26When my life was completely normal

00:20:28Now I have to solve a mystery

00:20:30Make Abby fall in love with me

00:20:32Figure out how to make the perfect thing for CalArts

00:20:34And figure out how to put a tampon in

00:20:37Without the end always sticking out a little bit

00:20:39Yeah, you know, I never mastered that either

00:20:41Oh, but you know what?

00:20:42On the bright side

00:20:43True artists are never afraid to step out of their comfort zones

00:20:46And speaking of stepping out of your comfort zones

00:20:49Are you going to Stacey's party on Friday?

00:20:52What party?

00:20:52Are you kidding me?

00:20:54Paige, I've told you this a billion times

00:20:56It would be like a good opportunity for you to act like a normal teenager for once

00:20:59She doesn't want to be normal

00:21:00Nobody wants to be normal

00:21:01That's why I'm cool

00:21:03Alright, let me tell you a little story

00:21:05When I was a teenager, I went to this rager

00:21:08And I ended up in the back of a van with the lead singer of an Aerosmith cover band

00:21:12And in retrospect, I definitely should have held out for the real thing

00:21:16I mean, think about it

00:21:18Steven Tyler, I would have never had to buy another scarf

00:21:21Dylan, I totally wasn't thinking this party is the perfect place to investigate

00:21:26King Pond will definitely be going

00:21:28And well, let's just say that they will rue the day that they let me take the fall for them

00:21:32I know that's right

00:21:36Okay, I'm gonna need you to relax

00:21:38You're starting to scare me

00:21:41Oh my god, I totally forgot

00:21:43Pardon me

00:21:45Paige, I took the liberty of washing your sex toy

00:21:47By the way, this is very small

00:21:50It could totally get lost up there

00:21:52So you might want to think about, you know, moving on up

00:21:54I can help

00:21:55Well, that's an eraser, so that's not gonna go up there

00:21:59Anything's possible

00:22:01Think about me and my electric toothbrush

00:22:03And it's not the end you would think either

00:22:06Okay, well, we don't have everything in common

00:22:08And I'm gonna go to my room

00:22:11Yeah, I'm gonna throw up

00:22:12That's really disgusting

00:22:13No, you're disgusting

00:22:15This is a sex-positive house, Paige

00:22:18Shame does not live here

00:22:25Thanks for having us

00:22:29That is real diversity

00:22:30You look so beautiful

00:22:32Paige, I cannot believe we finally got you to high school party

00:22:36Now let's see if you survive it

00:22:50Welcome to the high school experience

00:22:52Smells better than I expected

00:22:54I like candles

00:22:55First order of business, time to get you drunk

00:22:58Like, if you don't throw up by the end of the night, then I didn't get my job

00:23:01I still can't believe this is the first of my parties you've been to, Paige

00:23:05That's because Paige Evans is too cool for high school parties

00:23:08Cool is one word for it

00:23:09I just have a general distaste for sticky floors, communal chip bowls, and whatever that is

00:23:14That, my friend, is the type of sociological research you can't find in any textbook

00:23:19He's right

00:23:20My future constituents may act like you're moronic, but they know how to have fun

00:23:25Your future constituents, huh?

00:23:27Oh please, you know I'm gonna kick your ass

00:23:29There's no way they won't vote for my anti-authority platform

00:23:31It's like taking candy from a politically-informed baby

00:23:34Now go upstairs and practice your campaign speech

00:23:36And work on our inflections

00:23:38And show me those pointed hand-movers

00:23:39And why do you guys even bother with innuendo?

00:23:44Later, Paige

00:23:45Oh, yeah guys, just leave me alone while I try and figure out who framed me

00:23:50Oh, oh my god

00:23:52Paige

00:23:52Hi

00:23:52I didn't see you there

00:23:53Must be the masking smell

00:23:55What?

00:23:55How have you been? Feeling any different lately?

00:23:57Any lustful urges? Deep magnetic pools? Anything? Anyone?

00:24:01Excuse me?

00:24:02AJ, there you are

00:24:03Hi

00:24:05We should go talk about track

00:24:07I don't think so

00:24:08Did virgin blood expire?

00:24:09That can't be, that was fresh

00:24:10Okay, yeah, we can talk about track

00:24:12Once you get stronger with age

00:24:13Like, like fine wine

00:24:14Hi

00:24:18Okay, I wasn't gonna get all Salem witch trials and point fingers here

00:24:24But I know that she put a curse on me

00:24:26I mean, she did steal some of my hair back in freshman year, so

00:24:29I believe it

00:24:36It's a track

00:24:38Why? I thought you were more interested in art

00:24:40Oh, trust me

00:24:41I am

00:24:42But, lucky for me

00:24:43Principal Collins decided that I'm King Pun

00:24:45So I have to figure out who King Pun is

00:24:48Otherwise I'm going to get suspended

00:24:49That's so dumb

00:24:52Yeah

00:24:53That art is harmless

00:24:53I know

00:24:54It's also pretty good

00:24:55Do you have any leads?

00:24:57I know that they're here

00:24:58Thoughts about it

00:25:00I'm just gonna poke around until somebody cracks

00:25:04So you're gonna interrogate a bunch of drunk teens

00:25:07Seems pretty easy

00:25:10Well, you say that, but it could be anybody

00:25:13Could be you

00:25:15Do I look whimsical enough for puns?

00:25:18Okay, well

00:25:19You do have an intimidating, no bullshit, striped shirt vibe going

00:25:25So I guess not

00:25:27Thank you

00:25:28Which would make you the perfect bad cop to my good cop

00:25:34Excuse me?

00:25:36Follow me

00:25:37Oh

00:25:43Hi Erin

00:25:43Hi

00:25:44Where were you at 6am on the morning of the 14th?

00:25:48We get Tybalt groomed on Sundays

00:25:49Tybalt, my horse

00:25:51Do you want to see a photo?

00:25:54Oh, my phone is dead

00:25:55Yeah, no, no, nevermind

00:25:56Thank you

00:26:00How close is the nearest Michael's art supply from your house?

00:26:02Who's Michael?

00:26:04Can I have a head?

00:26:05Me too

00:26:06You have a secret Instagram, right?

00:26:08Yeah, but you can't afford to follow it

00:26:11Sorry

00:26:11Can you guys shine your lights on me?

00:26:13Alright, man, you ready?

00:26:14Thank you

00:26:19Tim

00:26:21What do you think of Kingpun?

00:26:22Oh, Paige here?

00:26:23Aren't your parents both artists, Tim?

00:26:25Isn't your mom a nurse?

00:26:26Your point?

00:26:27I haven't seen you save anyone's life

00:26:28It's kinda gonna work

00:26:29You're supposed to be on my side, right?

00:26:32Chantal!

00:26:33Chantal!

00:26:34Would you consider yourself an artist?

00:26:35I mean, every witch is an artist in their own way

00:26:39But, I mean, yeah

00:26:40I post to Tumblr all the time

00:26:41That's mostly just like Buffy, Faith, The Brothers and Supernatural 69ing

00:26:44So, normal

00:26:46Well, what art tools do you use?

00:26:48I mean, I kinda dabble in everything

00:26:49Illustrator, oil paints, menstrual blood

00:26:52Oh

00:26:53Oh, no

00:26:54Yeah, okay

00:26:55Bye

00:26:55You wanna go in a good political?

00:27:00You wanna go in a good political?

00:27:01Oh my fucking god

00:27:02What the fuck?

00:27:04Oh, hey Paige

00:27:05Hey

00:27:05Bad things as possible

00:27:07Cover me with these eyes

00:27:08She doesn't deserve to see this

00:27:09No, no, no

00:27:10Come on

00:27:11Stacey

00:27:12Bye

00:27:14So cute

00:27:15Her house is huge

00:27:16It just keeps going, I know

00:27:18They're probably fucking every room

00:27:20Those two are

00:27:21Are disturbingly cute in a kind of kinky way

00:27:24Yeah

00:27:25Yeah

00:27:27I can't believe Chantal is our best lead right now

00:27:30I mean, it kinda makes sense

00:27:31I've seen her drawing in class anytime

00:27:33What?

00:27:33Really?

00:27:34Mm

00:27:35Paige! AJ!

00:27:44Oh my god, we need to take shots, like right now

00:27:47For Paige joining the track theme

00:27:49Yeah, go ahead

00:27:50I'm gonna pee

00:27:51Okay

00:27:52Let's go

00:27:53Okay

00:27:56There she is

00:27:57Okay

00:28:02Mm-hmm

00:28:04Oh

00:28:04Oh, okay

00:28:07To joining track

00:28:08To sports

00:28:12But our mouths taste the same right now

00:28:14What?

00:28:15I just got something stuck in my throat

00:28:16Another shot will fix up

00:28:17Yeah

00:28:18He always does

00:28:26Oh

00:28:27Oh

00:28:40Oh

00:28:41Oh

00:28:44Oh

00:28:45Oh

00:28:45Oh my god, I'm so glad that you joined track

00:28:50I feel like I never see you outside of class

00:28:52I know

00:28:54You're a Gemini, right?

00:28:56I'm a Pisces

00:28:57Who says that complicated can't work?

00:28:59What?

00:29:00I said I love track

00:29:01Yeah

00:29:02Yeah

00:29:03Bye

00:29:04Bye

00:29:13Are we at the sad Trump phase in the night, huh?

00:29:17Dylan!

00:29:19Dylan!

00:29:20Dylan!

00:29:20Don't head home

00:29:21Do you wanna go home?

00:29:22You'll be better, yes

00:29:23And your drunk guest has a training with AJ tomorrow

00:29:25Oh, no

00:29:26Oh, shit

00:29:27Yeah

00:29:28Mr. President

00:29:31Wow, thank you so much for calling me Mr. President

00:29:34You're welcome

00:29:34Okay, let's go

00:29:36Motor in your car

00:29:37Bye-bye, cop

00:29:39Bye, I'll see you tomorrow

00:29:40Drink some Gatorade

00:29:43Sports shoes

00:29:46You lose, man

00:29:48Tim, I see what you're doing

00:29:50Evidence

00:29:52I'm gonna take this

00:29:53I'm gonna take this

00:29:54I'm gonna take this

00:29:56Who doesn't like boots?

00:29:57Cheers

00:30:01Woo!

00:30:02Who's running up on it?

00:30:05That's...

00:30:05You're so strong

00:30:07I am strong

00:30:08You look so strong

00:30:10Hang on, our ride is here

00:30:21You made it

00:30:22Yup

00:30:23Okay, let's make me an Olympian

00:30:28How are you not massively hungover right now?

00:30:30Well, I drank that Gatorade that you suggested

00:30:32And then I had a Hot Pocket

00:30:34And then I had some pizza

00:30:36And then I had some ice cream

00:30:37Also, I might still be drunk

00:30:40Is it coffee?

00:30:41Did you bring any water?

00:30:45Hmm, okay

00:30:46If this mentor-protege thing is going to work out

00:30:49Then you have to respect my caffeinated process

00:30:52You said anything about being a mentor

00:30:54Only doing this so you don't tanker ranking

00:30:56Oh, I'm sorry

00:30:57Am I cutting into your brooding and corners

00:31:00Wearing a leather jacket, Diane?

00:31:02I don't own a leather jacket

00:31:03Well, you look like you could

00:31:05Okay

00:31:06So, what are we doing first?

00:31:07Picking out my pump-up song?

00:31:09No, but you can stretch

00:31:10And then we can start on three miles

00:31:12Three miles?

00:31:14That is 2.9 more miles

00:31:16Than they said I have to run

00:31:172.94 miles

00:31:19You're confusing miles and meters

00:31:20I think you're confusing me with the metric system

00:31:24Let's go, Evans

00:31:27Put down your stuff

00:31:46Oh my god

00:31:50Oh my god

00:31:51Oh my god

00:31:52I can't feel anything

00:31:54I can't feel my legs

00:31:55I can't feel my face

00:31:59You're being a little dramatic

00:32:00It's the artist in me

00:32:04Speaking of

00:32:06You want to go to art school?

00:32:09Yeah

00:32:10Yeah

00:32:11Now that's

00:32:11Like my biggest dream

00:32:14But now that the pressure's on

00:32:16And I have to send in my summer app

00:32:17I have no idea what to send in

00:32:19Have you started it yet?

00:32:23Since you asked

00:32:28I've been working on a few different things

00:32:32But none of it feels right to me

00:32:36Shit

00:32:36You're really good

00:32:38Thank you

00:32:41Now I just have to make CalArts see that

00:32:44Pretend you're CalArts

00:32:45Tell me what's missing

00:32:48Uh...

00:32:49Nothing

00:32:50I think it's really great

00:32:53You're a really bad liar

00:32:55No, I just...

00:32:56Come on

00:32:57Tell me the truth

00:32:58It's...

00:32:59I don't know

00:33:00I'm...

00:33:00I mean I'm not an expert by any means

00:33:02But maybe...

00:33:03It's just...

00:33:05It is lacking...

00:33:07Some...

00:33:08Emotion?

00:33:09Okay

00:33:10I wasn't expecting constructive criticism

00:33:12But...

00:33:13Alright

00:33:13I knew that was a trap

00:33:15Look, your art is amazing

00:33:16Seriously

00:33:17What was the prompt again?

00:33:19Show us your happiest moment

00:33:21Right, okay

00:33:21So do you think that that shows that?

00:33:23Or...

00:33:25Is there anything that is maybe happier?

00:33:28I had a really yummy donut the other day

00:33:33Uh...

00:33:33What about a...

00:33:35A first love?

00:33:37Or...

00:33:37A first kiss or something?

00:33:40Uh...

00:33:40Well I haven't had those things

00:33:41So you're really pouring salt on the wound here AJ

00:33:44All I'm saying is that you'll get there

00:33:48Just...

00:33:49Don't be afraid to draw something a little more vulnerable

00:33:56Look...

00:33:57I just posted something

00:33:59Guess that would rule you out

00:34:01At least it's not on school property this time

00:34:03Well it's a little late for that kingpine

00:34:07Let's go Frida Kahlo

00:34:08We've gotta get you to a point where you can run without wanting to puke

00:34:12Might give me an edge

00:34:14Doubt it

00:34:15Did you know that Frida Kahlo was bi?

00:34:19She was the OG bi con

00:34:22Oh...

00:34:23Nice

00:34:24Um...

00:34:25Got jokes for days AJ

00:34:27Yay

00:34:42Come on

00:34:43Come on

00:34:44You got it

00:34:44Come on

00:34:47Come on

00:34:47Get it

00:34:48Look at that tire

00:34:49Yeah

00:34:50Come on

00:34:54Come on

00:34:54You got it

00:34:56Come on

00:34:57Come on

00:34:57You got it

00:34:58I'll walk around with my confidence on the million

00:34:58Together

00:34:58Together I'm never playing you

00:35:00It be the one trying to help that

00:35:02Can't stand you

00:35:03But have a good day

00:35:06I do me everyday

00:35:07I don't live for others

00:35:09Proud of who I am

00:35:10So I'm never under the cover

00:35:12I ran with it

00:35:13Ain't looked back

00:35:14Now I got big cracks in a book bag

00:35:15Smile at it when they look sad

00:35:17Like too short so don't grow fast

00:35:18They hate on me

00:35:19Throw shade on me

00:35:20When it's time to drop

00:35:21They wait on me

00:35:22A lot of people here changed on me

00:35:23No shit changed

00:35:24But the day homie

00:35:25Shit changed

00:35:25But the next move

00:35:26They know I really ball like the Nets do

00:35:28All I hate is them heads do

00:35:29Got them in it

00:35:30Feelings like the last dude

00:35:31And I don't trip

00:35:32Cause the hate be motivation

00:35:34I make the best out of every situation

00:35:37I be too real

00:35:39I be knowing when they be faking

00:35:40But this is real

00:35:42Me and my people made it

00:35:44You need somebody to ask you

00:35:46Yo how you feeling

00:35:47I walk around with my confidence on the million

00:35:50Come on

00:35:51Come on

00:35:54Come on AJ

00:35:55You got this

00:35:56You need somebody

00:35:58That's me

00:35:58Understand you

00:36:00I don't know

00:36:00That we together

00:36:01I'm never playing

00:36:02You got it

00:36:05You got it

00:36:07You got it

00:36:08You got it

00:36:08Yeah

00:36:09Go

00:36:10Go

00:36:11Go

00:36:12Go

00:36:13Go

00:36:14Go

00:36:23Go

00:36:26Go

00:36:27Go

00:36:27Okay

00:36:27All right

00:36:28All right

00:36:31Goes against my entire coaching approach to say this but

00:36:34You're actually getting pretty good

00:36:37I knew you were using a tough love approach with me

00:36:39I know

00:36:40Who do I think I am

00:36:41My dad

00:36:44That was a lot funnier in my head

00:36:47It's okay dude

00:36:48I'm no stranger to dark dad humor

00:36:52Is he tough on you?

00:36:55He just sees so much potential in me I guess I don't want to let him down

00:36:58He wants me to get a scholarship to D1 school

00:37:01I think that's why I'm so stressed about doing well

00:37:03But I don't want to talk about my dad

00:37:06I'll save that one for a future therapy session

00:37:09Speaking of psychoanalyzing

00:37:11I think that you were right about my art

00:37:13I think I do play it safe

00:37:16I get it

00:37:17But I'm not going to let you forget that you said I was good

00:37:20Compliment from the mysterious AJ conference

00:37:23Don't make me regret it Evans

00:37:28You want to try?

00:37:29Mmm, can you play track with the broken leg?

00:37:32Don't worry I'll spot you

00:37:38Oh shit

00:37:39Okay, bend your knees

00:37:59Hold up

00:38:02What?

00:38:04I think that this is King Pun's notebook

00:38:06What?

00:38:06How do you know?

00:38:08Look dude

00:38:09It's totally in their style

00:38:10And it has KP written all over it

00:38:12Oh, yeah, that would do it

00:38:13Maybe it's somebody on track

00:38:15Well, that would rule out Chantal

00:38:17It's never her

00:38:18Cute puns are not her vibe now that I think of it

00:38:22This is exactly how I'm going to get a Nailed King Pun

00:38:25Huh

00:38:27I'm going to DM them and tell them that I have their notebook

00:38:30There's tons of half-baked ideas in here

00:38:32It's not like they're going to want to leave it behind

00:38:35So, what? You're just going to give it back to them without figuring out who it is?

00:38:39AJ

00:38:39Are you kidding me?

00:38:43We're going to have a motherfucking stakeout

00:38:47Oh no

00:38:52Hold on

00:38:54It's almost 8pm and King Pun left me on red so I know that they saw it

00:38:59Wow, your detection skills are on point

00:39:01Wait

00:39:02We should split up, cover more ground

00:39:04Oh God, your efficiency is hot

00:39:06Help, help, help, help, help

00:39:08You know the gate's open, right?

00:39:10Oh my God

00:39:11Are you okay?

00:39:13I'm the only one

00:39:14Do you need help?

00:39:14Are you good?

00:39:16This girl's going to be the death of me

00:39:26Hey

00:39:27Hey

00:39:27Want to take the north side?

00:39:29Yeah, sure

00:39:32Ugh

00:39:32They do know that's the south east side, right?

00:39:36No, but it is so hot that you do

00:39:38You're so hot

00:39:39You are so hot

00:39:40You are

00:39:40We are

00:39:41We are

00:39:42We are

00:39:43We are

00:39:44Oh, I'm glad you have each other

00:39:50Hello?

00:39:52Oh shit

00:39:53Sorry

00:39:57Sorry

00:39:57You know I like him to grab my ass

00:40:01Well, on the upside

00:40:03If you can't find King Pun

00:40:04It's kind of like a cool badge of honor to get suspended

00:40:08But you usually go for people who get suspended

00:40:12Um, I don't really have a type

00:40:14It's more of just a vibe

00:40:16So your vibe is Aya then, huh?

00:40:19Well actually, we just broke up

00:40:22Oh, really?

00:40:23It sucks

00:40:24Sorry

00:40:26Are you over then?

00:40:28Depends, Paige

00:40:29Who's asking?

00:40:30Not me

00:40:31I don't care

00:40:32Ouch

00:40:36I care

00:40:37I care

00:40:38I just was trying to be nice and ask you questions

00:40:42So

00:40:43Not that good at that though

00:40:45Well, your questions are cute, so

00:40:49Do you remember in fifth grade when we were partnered up to take care of that egg together in Miss

00:40:54Higgins' class?

00:40:56Oh yeah

00:40:57I'm pretty sure I dropped mine on the first day and begged my mom to replace it for me

00:41:01Geez, I totally forgot your white partner for that

00:41:03Damn, I was a shitty mom

00:41:05Well, if it's any consolation, I gave our egg a bath and I boiled it to death

00:41:11So, guess I wasn't a perfect mom either

00:41:15Oh, hi

00:41:16It's gotta be too fun

00:41:17Aren't we supposed to be confronting?

00:41:19Yes, I'm just not good at confrontation

00:41:21Clearly

00:41:27Kind of weird that we've co-parented and never kissed before, huh?

00:41:31Yeah, it's a little bit strange

00:41:33Well, maybe we should try it

00:41:36We could try it

00:41:40You can lean in now

00:41:42Right now

00:41:46Hey!

00:41:46Yo! Stop!

00:41:48Yo!

00:41:49I cannot believe that your stupid stakeout idea might have actually worked, but that was definitely Tim's car

00:41:54How do you know?

00:41:54Who else drives a bright green Challenger with a bumper sticker that reads

00:41:57Your mom calls me daddy

00:41:59Fucking Tim

00:42:03Uh, hold on, I have to take this

00:42:06So do you think you cracked the case?

00:42:09Yeah

00:42:10Yeah

00:42:10I guess so

00:42:17Hey, let's go

00:42:18We're gonna be late

00:42:19Are you seriously not packed for our way meat yet?

00:42:22I started

00:42:25Dylan, I need to tell you something

00:42:27What? What happened?

00:42:28Don't make it a big deal, okay?

00:42:30What happened?

00:42:31Did you find another one of your mom's special movies?

00:42:35Gabby and I kissed

00:42:37I'm sorry, what?

00:42:38I know

00:42:40Wait, Gabriela Campos kissed you?

00:42:43Okay, screw packing, tell me exactly what happened

00:42:45I don't know, it kinda just happened at the stakeout

00:42:48It was really weird, actually

00:42:51What do you mean weird?

00:42:52You've been waiting for this, like, literally your entire life

00:42:54You're obsessed with her

00:42:55Well, it was very anticlimactic

00:42:57Was it about kiss?

00:42:59Is that her fatal flaw?

00:43:00Did she have an Achilles tongue?

00:43:02Maybe it wasn't her, it was probably me

00:43:04That makes more sense, she's kissed a lot of people, yeah

00:43:06Shit, I haven't kissed anyone, I don't know how to kiss

00:43:09Yeah, you're probably a terrible kisser

00:43:10You need to teach me

00:43:11No

00:43:11Teach me

00:43:12Are you seriously trying to kiss me right now?

00:43:15Just kiss me, please

00:43:16No means no, Paige, come on, you're not a man

00:43:18Thank you

00:43:19Why are you so dressed up?

00:43:22It's a structured blazer, everybody quit tripping

00:43:24Come on, let's go

00:43:26Did you pack us the food?

00:43:31I can't believe I'm such a bad kisser

00:43:33Oh no, no, no, no

00:43:34Bad kisser?

00:43:35That is impossible, not possible

00:43:38The Evans women are legendary kissers

00:43:41Your grandmother won the Frenching contest three years running

00:43:44Oh my god

00:43:45I play second

00:43:45What?

00:43:46I've told you about this

00:43:47I tied with your great aunt Janine

00:43:49Oh my god

00:43:49She is a maniac

00:43:51Well I guess the promiscuous jeans skips a generation

00:43:53That's what they say

00:43:54Do you think maybe it's not the kiss, it's the person?

00:43:58Oh, what does that mean?

00:43:59Maybe you were let down by the kiss because your crushes run its course

00:44:02But I've liked Gabby forever

00:44:04I think that maybe there are other people out there

00:44:06Yeah

00:44:07Like who?

00:44:09Hi Mrs. Evans

00:44:10Miss, sorry

00:44:11Hey AJ

00:44:13Wow

00:44:14Finally we meet

00:44:15After hearing about you 24-7 from this one

00:44:17She's being sarcastic

00:44:19I mean the word constantly springs to mind

00:44:21What are you going to do now that the anti-social artist is out of the house?

00:44:24Oh man, so many possibilities

00:44:26I mean the sky's the limit, right?

00:44:28I'm not going to crumble

00:44:29That's the one thing I'm not going to do

00:44:30We're gone for a night

00:44:31I know, well it doesn't matter

00:44:33I'm not going to crumble

00:44:33So

00:44:35Hey AJ, do me a favor and try to get old Paige here to loosen up a little bit, okay?

00:44:40You know, like fire up a bong and knock back a couple of wine coolers

00:44:45Oh my god, I have poppers in the car, should I run grab?

00:44:49No, that's the wrong type of gay

00:44:51Well, hello there, long time no see

00:44:54A little delayed gratification never hurt anyone

00:44:57Okay

00:44:57Oh, you're making me wait

00:44:59They call it edging these days

00:45:02I looked it up on Wikipedia and the definition is quite rank

00:45:06I don't know the meaning of rank, but I believe you

00:45:09It means filthy dirty

00:45:11Well, I'm going to just get your number off the emergency contact list

00:45:15Okay, I've had your number for like, I don't know how many days

00:45:18Oh

00:45:18Go with the program, okay?

00:45:19I mean, text me, like I'm not getting any younger

00:45:22Come on

00:45:25Let's go

00:45:32Okay, listen up hormonal teens

00:45:43Now on this list is the name of your roommate

00:45:46I know that sixty percent of you are queer

00:45:49But guys, don't go in the girls' room

00:45:52And girls, please, don't go in the guys' room

00:45:55We don't want anybody getting pregnant

00:45:56And I'm talking specifically to you, Stacy and Dylan

00:45:59What?

00:46:00Oh, never

00:46:00One, as I made it clear on my campaign trail

00:46:03I will not be allowing the administration to control what I do with my body

00:46:05Two, obviously I'm on birth control

00:46:08Well, I'm on teen control and I want lights out by 9 p.m.

00:46:12I have a FaceTime date with a very lovely lady

00:46:17I don't want to be interrupted

00:46:18And Paige, no graffiti

00:46:20Your new stepdad

00:46:21Ugh

00:46:23Hey

00:46:24Hi

00:46:25We should talk

00:46:27Hey, I guess we're rooming together

00:46:28Can't get rid of you

00:46:29Um, I'm gonna go find out who my roommate is

00:46:32But I'll see you later

00:46:33Yeah

00:46:35Did you know that squirrels remember every single person they've ever seen?

00:46:40What?

00:46:40They have photographic memories

00:46:42Mm-hmm

00:46:43Uh, I look forward to hearing more animal facts tonight

00:46:46Well, good, cause there's a plenty

00:46:48Guys, team party in my room, 9.30, be there

00:46:51No, you guys heard Coach, we can't do that

00:46:53Oh, no

00:46:55Yeah, we definitely can't do that

00:46:56Especially since our track meet starts at 2 p.m., right?

00:46:58Looks like we're getting fucked up tonight

00:47:01Oh, Paige, you're so innocent

00:47:07Okay, this one is either whiskey or rum

00:47:11Then we've got peach vodka

00:47:13We've got lemon vodka

00:47:15To wipe my fluid?

00:47:16More vodka

00:47:17And we got mouthwash

00:47:19But you just gotta drink a lot of it to get fucked up

00:47:20Mmm, that looks the least risky

00:47:22Is that all you could get from your parents?

00:47:25Yeah

00:47:25Look, my beard is coming in

00:47:27So it's only a matter of time before I stop getting hurted

00:47:29Oh, yeah, for sure

00:47:30Yo, Tim! Hey!

00:47:32Oh!

00:47:33There he is

00:47:35You know you actually have to confront Tim about being kingpunt to accuse him, right?

00:47:38I have to work it up to it

00:47:40She really scares me sometimes

00:47:42Tim!

00:47:43I know you're kingpunt

00:47:44I have your notebook

00:47:45What?

00:47:46I saw you after school the other night

00:47:48Okay?

00:47:49What were you doing there if not to get your notebook?

00:47:52Okay, okay, okay

00:47:53I'll tell you

00:47:55I'm in Renaissance Club

00:47:56Come again?

00:47:58I'm in Renaissance Club

00:48:00I'm a Renny, if you will

00:48:02Oh, my God

00:48:02We were having our monthly feast

00:48:05And when I got to school, it was canceled

00:48:08I don't believe you

00:48:10Are you serious?

00:48:13Look

00:48:16Wow

00:48:17Okay, everyone, gather around

00:48:20It is game time!

00:48:22I get to play some games

00:48:23Still got a...

00:48:25A lot of questions for you

00:48:27I got a lot of answers

00:48:28A lot of questions

00:48:33Hey, hey

00:48:34Perfect timing

00:48:36We're about to play seven minutes

00:48:38What? Like seven minutes in heaven?

00:48:41No, that perpetuates a Christian narrative

00:48:43We're playing seven minutes in the hotel bathroom

00:48:45And it's a track tradition

00:48:46Okay, everyone

00:48:48Phones in, pride at the door

00:48:51For any new additions

00:48:52The rules are simple

00:48:53You put your phone in the bag

00:48:55And if your phone gets picked

00:48:56You have to go into the bathroom with another person

00:48:57And since this is 2022

00:48:59We will not force anyone to make out if you don't want to

00:49:02But I will say seven minutes is such a long time to be in the bathroom with someone and not

00:49:05make out

00:49:05Just saying, Paige

00:49:06Okay, alright

00:49:07Everyone's phones are in

00:49:09Alright

00:49:10First phone is...

00:49:13Welcome back

00:49:15And she starts dancing

00:49:15Yes

00:49:17Yes

00:49:43Oh, Paige, I believe this questionable phone case belongs to you.

00:49:50Now let's see.

00:49:55Whose case is this?

00:49:56That's mine.

00:50:00What's your background?

00:50:01Tessa Thompson is Valkyrie.

00:50:05AJ, it's you.

00:50:06Come on, get in there.

00:50:08Come on, let's go.

00:50:11Rule or rule, we don't make the rules.

00:50:14Have fun.

00:50:16Use the dental dams.

00:50:23Oh, I got one.

00:50:26Did you know that pandas fake their pregnancies to get extra food?

00:50:33Oh, wow, another random animal fact so soon?

00:50:38I know, I'm just nervous.

00:50:41Don't you kind of know me by now?

00:50:43Yeah, I kind of do.

00:50:46Okay, let me think of a random animal fact while you get yourself together.

00:50:54Psst.

00:50:56You could also just tell me something real.

00:51:02Yeah.

00:51:04Okay.

00:51:04Yeah.

00:51:08Um...

00:51:12I'm terrified of flying.

00:51:15Is that all you're giving me?

00:51:16Yes.

00:51:17Well, I don't...

00:51:18I just...

00:51:18I don't think that humans are meant to sit in chairs in the sky, you know?

00:51:24Like...

00:51:24Like, that's messed up if you think about it.

00:51:26Damn.

00:51:28We are bad at the small talk thing.

00:51:32I tried.

00:51:33But at least it's better than us awkwardly making out.

00:51:37Yeah.

00:51:37I mean, what?

00:51:38Can you imagine what suddenly we're hardcore making out?

00:51:41That just sounds...

00:51:43Come on.

00:51:44Really crazy.

00:51:45It would be hilarious.

00:51:46It would be just super funny.

00:51:50Yeah.

00:51:50Funny.

00:51:51Like, this being my first kiss.

00:51:55Very funny.

00:51:59I know everyone makes assumptions about me.

00:52:02The mysterious AJ Campos.

00:52:05Brooding leather jacket type.

00:52:08But, um...

00:52:10No.

00:52:10I'll never kiss anyone.

00:52:12Ever.

00:52:14I guess we have that lack of experience in common.

00:52:18Yeah.

00:52:22Well, why haven't you?

00:52:23I mean, I'm sure that, you know,

00:52:25people probably want to.

00:52:27I'm not opposed to it.

00:52:29I'm not opposed to it, either.

00:52:32Kissing someone?

00:52:34Kissing you.

00:52:37Oh.

00:52:50Do you have enough room?

00:52:51Do you have enough room?

00:52:52No.

00:52:54We're being weird about this.

00:52:56Yeah.

00:52:58And this really does not have to be weird.

00:53:00No.

00:53:02Doesn't.

00:53:11I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep.

00:53:13Like, my mind is racing from this whole cowards thing.

00:53:17Like...

00:53:17You're really lucky your mom is so supportive of you being...

00:53:20No, I was going to say an artist.

00:53:22Oh.

00:53:24Yeah.

00:53:25I feel like I would never pursue something like that.

00:53:28Because of your parents.

00:53:31Like...

00:53:32To them.

00:53:34Everything artistic is a risk.

00:53:38Which...

00:53:38I...

00:53:39I guess I get.

00:53:41What did they say when you came out?

00:53:44When I told my mom I was bi, she didn't really say anything.

00:53:48But...

00:53:49When Gabby came out, she made it pretty impossible to ignore.

00:53:54She did it at her 14th birthday party.

00:53:56Like, at the party.

00:53:58Oh, wow.

00:53:59Yeah.

00:54:00I think my abuela was going to puke.

00:54:04Is it hard having a twin?

00:54:08I mean, I love her.

00:54:10And we have this really special, cool bond.

00:54:14But Gabby's also painfully charming and...

00:54:18Everyone's obsessed with her.

00:54:22It's just an impossible comparison to live up to, you know?

00:54:29That was a lot.

00:54:31I don't know why I told you all that.

00:54:32It wasn't a lot.

00:54:34I'm glad you told me.

00:54:36But what about you?

00:54:39Is it hard growing up with just your mom?

00:54:41Mmm, sometimes, but...

00:54:44Not really.

00:54:47I just love her so much.

00:54:51And she's like my best friend.

00:54:53Aww.

00:54:53Don't tell her that, though, she wants it too much.

00:54:58One day she just decided she wanted a kid.

00:55:01So she got some sperm and she did it herself.

00:55:06That's pretty badass.

00:55:10Now I know where you get your confidence from.

00:55:13What are you talking about?

00:55:16You're the one who has the whole quiet, confident thing going on.

00:55:21Nobody ever knows what you're thinking.

00:55:25Including me.

00:55:25Hey.

00:55:28I'm working on it.

00:55:32What?

00:55:33What?

00:55:34What?

00:55:58We should, yeah, you're right, we should probably get some sleep.

00:56:01Yeah.

00:56:02Yeah.

00:56:08Okay?

00:56:10Okay.

00:56:23Good night, Paige.

00:56:26Good night, AJ.

00:56:51Good night.

00:56:58Bye.

00:57:00I, I, I, I, don't, I.

00:57:17Come on, guys.

00:57:23I love asked you nicely.

00:57:26Oh, I wanted with some Cheetos.

00:57:29Hey, give me my food!

00:57:36Hey.

00:57:37Hey!

00:57:38Oh my God, thank God you're here.

00:57:41Gabby, drunk Gabby.

00:57:44The stupid vending machine won't give me my food.

00:57:49I got you.

00:57:50Wow.

00:57:52I'm telling you, listen, I've tried this so many times tonight and it has not happened.

00:57:58I mean, I don't know.

00:57:59Oh.

00:58:01Food!

00:58:05It's so crazy.

00:58:07I'm gonna walk you to your room, okay?

00:58:09If you want to walk me back to my room page, then that's what we're gonna do.

00:58:12I'm gonna do that.

00:58:13Alright.

00:58:16Remember when I told you that me and Aya broke up?

00:58:19Yeah.

00:58:20Well, it actually turns out that they broke up with me.

00:58:25Okay.

00:58:26No one knows that, though.

00:58:28Gabby got loose, got dumped.

00:58:30Shhh.

00:58:33Shhh.

00:58:34Are you okay?

00:58:36Um, yeah.

00:58:38I am...

00:58:41I'm not.

00:58:44You're good at making me feel better, though.

00:58:47I can't.

00:58:48I can't.

00:58:49I can't.

00:58:49I'm sorry.

00:58:51Why don't you want to kiss me?

00:58:54Why does no one want to kiss me?

00:58:56I'm sorry.

00:58:56I just have a crush on somebody else.

00:59:00It's the story of my life.

00:59:02Am I right?

00:59:07Gabby?

00:59:11It's a Froyo loyalty card.

00:59:16Yeah.

00:59:19That it is.

00:59:23See you later, alligator.

00:59:25Goodnight.

00:59:46Hey, Jerry, awake.

00:59:54Well, friends, it doesn't get any bigger than this.

00:59:56We're here at the historic Central Square Track and Field,

01:00:00and we've got a big one today.

01:00:02And this is the stuff dreams are made of,

01:00:04but also nightmares if you're not in the top three.

01:00:07It goes by so fast, like childhood.

01:00:09I just hope that everybody takes every moment in

01:00:12and makes it special.

01:00:13Now, some would say there are no losers here today.

01:00:16Is that true?

01:00:16Yeah.

01:00:17Fantastic.

01:00:19The polls say you're two points behind.

01:00:21Oh, yeah?

01:00:22I want to trust the polls,

01:00:23especially when they're run by two freshmen who have crushes on them.

01:00:25Okay.

01:00:26Todd and Henry do the best they can with resources they have.

01:00:28Yeah.

01:00:28They're having the best they can.

01:00:29Are they?

01:00:30Are they really?

01:00:31Guys, I'm right, Jesse.

01:00:32Have you guys seen AJ?

01:00:33I tried to sit next to her on the bus,

01:00:34but then Coach Courtney need to talk about my mom's food preferences.

01:00:36No, why?

01:00:37You have that anxious sweating through your clinical shrink deodorant look in your eye.

01:00:40AJ made me kiss last night.

01:00:41Shut up!

01:00:42And then Gabby tried to kiss me again.

01:00:44Oh, my God!

01:00:45And I'm freaking out because AJ thinks it was both of our first kisses.

01:00:48But it wasn't.

01:00:49My first kiss was with Gabby,

01:00:50and I don't know what to do because I actually like AJ.

01:00:53No shit!

01:00:54Dylan!

01:00:56Our kiss was really real.

01:00:59You know what I'm saying?

01:01:00It was really good.

01:01:01Okay, Paige, take a deep breath

01:01:03because you can't have an orgasm on the field.

01:01:05I just don't know what to do.

01:01:07I don't want her to think that it didn't matter,

01:01:08and I don't want her to think that I like her sister.

01:01:10I don't.

01:01:11I don't want her to hate me.

01:01:12We're talking all night,

01:01:13and I really don't want her to hate me.

01:01:19What am I going to do?

01:01:22Okay, well, first of all,

01:01:24you're going to run the race,

01:01:26and hopefully you won't trip and fall,

01:01:28and then we can figure out what to say to AJ, okay?

01:01:29I feel like I'm going to shit my pants

01:01:31and stick that marathon when I did.

01:01:32Shit your pants?

01:01:33Please shit your pants.

01:01:34That would be hilarious.

01:01:34No, please don't shit your pants.

01:01:36It's going to slow us down.

01:01:37Sure, maybe don't shit your pants.

01:01:38And that's it for the Javelin.

01:01:40We're getting that young athlete carted off the field.

01:01:42I'm sure they'll be okay.

01:01:43They're doing amazing things now

01:01:44with blood platelet therapy.

01:01:46Yikes.

01:01:46And now we're on to the big one,

01:01:48the granddaddy of them all,

01:01:50the fastest 50 seconds in sport,

01:01:52the 4x100 meter relay.

01:01:54Trigger one.

01:01:55There will be a gunshot to start,

01:01:57but it's fake.

01:02:01Tell me that I'm yummy when I'm driving in your car.

01:02:05T-t-tell me that you love me when we cross the border floor.

01:02:09Baby, tell me that you like my style.

01:02:11Mickey, my own girl now.

01:02:12Yeah, yeah.

01:02:13You're my queen, but daddy be wearing the crown.

01:02:16We sit at the king's table.

01:02:18The courts we assemble are disabled.

01:02:20How would you approach a baton handle?

01:02:22Go like this.

01:02:24Okay, ready?

01:02:25Grab it.

01:02:26So I don't look.

01:02:27Do it again.

01:02:28Ah, incredible.

01:02:30Incredible.

01:02:30And our hands did not tend to...

01:02:31Oh, but you have to do it backwards.

01:02:33Just picture this, but backwards.

01:02:39On your board!

01:02:42Yes, sir!

01:02:59Here we are with the second leg of the race.

01:03:02And for Miller High, this is Gabriella Campos.

01:03:04She's one of the captains.

01:03:06Look at him go.

01:03:07Wow.

01:03:08She's really...

01:03:09She's just...

01:03:10She's just doing a lot of this.

01:03:11She's doing tons of this.

01:03:12This is gonna be a crucial handoff here to newcomer Paige Evans.

01:03:15And to get it done, and now Paige Evans is off.

01:03:17Oh, oh, oh!

01:03:22Oh, oh, oh!

01:03:24Oh, oh!

01:03:25Oh, oh!

01:03:26Oh, oh!

01:03:27Oh, oh!

01:03:28Oh, oh, oh!

01:03:29Oh, oh, oh!

01:03:30Monetary things might gleam, but the sun makes the wings, and we are human beings, and yeah,

01:03:34that's an animal.

01:03:34Lying on the plane, but call us a cannibal, and it's terrible how we let ourselves get played on.

01:03:39Like an Atari, I'm not sorry, cause my heart beats for tomorrow's love, not tomorrow's blood.

01:03:44Now look at Miller High.

01:03:45They are neck and neck.

01:03:47Absolute surprise.

01:03:49Oh, the humanity of it all.

01:03:51Incredible.

01:03:52Linklater close behind.

01:03:53Now heckling in the lead.

01:03:55Miller High is summit.

01:03:57Miller High second place.

01:04:09Miller High is summit.

01:04:11Oh, my God!

01:04:12Oh, my God!

01:04:15Second place!

01:04:17Hey, can I talk to you about last night?

01:04:20What about last night?

01:04:22What happened last night?

01:04:23My drunk ass tried to kiss Paige.

01:04:25I'm sorry, I should've asked and not just assumed because we kissed before, but honestly,

01:04:30I should probably apologize for that kiss, too.

01:04:32I clearly don't deal with breakups now.

01:04:36No, I knew about this.

01:04:37It's really not what you're doing.

01:04:39No, it's fine.

01:04:40You don't have to explain it.

01:04:40Can we please talk?

01:04:42No, it's fine.

01:04:44It's just a kiss, right?

01:04:47Actually, I should be apologizing to you.

01:04:51I'm kingpun, so we're even.

01:04:53Holy shit!

01:04:55You guys like each other?

01:04:57Gab, really?

01:04:58Keep up, please.

01:04:59Shit.

01:05:00AJ, wait!

01:05:02No, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige.

01:05:05Give him a moment, okay?

01:05:07It's okay.

01:05:08It's okay.

01:05:09It's okay.

01:05:12It's okay.

01:05:14AJ, wait.

01:05:15Leave me alone, Gabby.

01:05:16Wait.

01:05:17I didn't know you liked her, okay?

01:05:19I never would've kissed her if I did.

01:05:21Yeah, I know, but this always happens.

01:05:23Every time I try to make new friends or just do my own thing, people always think of you first.

01:05:28I'm sorry.

01:05:30God, I was so stupid for thinking this time was different.

01:05:32AJ, you're not stupid.

01:05:34Paige isn't even into me.

01:05:36She said she liked someone else, I'm guessing you.

01:05:38She never told me that.

01:05:40Just like you didn't tell me you were kingpun?

01:05:41I mean, what is going on with you?

01:05:43Why wouldn't you tell me that?

01:05:44Because mom and dad would kill me if they found out I was spending time on literally anything other than

01:05:48school or track.

01:05:49Let alone defacing the school.

01:05:51But it's me, AJ.

01:05:54I know, but everything I do is always overshadowed by you, Gabs.

01:06:02I needed something that was mine.

01:06:04How am I supposed to help you if you don't tell me anything?

01:06:06Help me with what?

01:06:08Mom and dad?

01:06:09They're hard on me too, you know?

01:06:11Oh, now this is about you. Great.

01:06:13I'm sorry.

01:06:14I didn't mean it.

01:06:16Listen, I will be fine.

01:06:18Just let second place feel like last today, okay?

01:06:25Wow.

01:06:26AJ is kingpun.

01:06:29Mm-hmm.

01:06:30I did not see that coming.

01:06:33Either try.

01:06:36Thank you for getting me my favorite, by the way.

01:06:38You're welcome.

01:06:39I mean, I got it for both of us, so I...

01:06:41Well, okay.

01:06:46Um, so...

01:06:47I hate to bring this up, but it's almost the end of the semester,

01:06:51and I was kind of wondering what you were planning to do

01:06:55about the whole suspension thing.

01:06:58Um, I have no clue.

01:07:00Mm-hmm.

01:07:02I don't want to give AJ away because her dad would be really upset,

01:07:05but I also don't want to ruin this little CalArts thing.

01:07:08Yeah, I get it.

01:07:11Everything is falling apart.

01:07:14She won't speak to me.

01:07:16She ignored me the whole time on the bus,

01:07:18and she hasn't answered any of my texts, so...

01:07:22How am I supposed to draw my happiest moment

01:07:24when I'm the most depressed I've ever been?

01:07:27Well, stop wondering how you could have done things differently,

01:07:31you know?

01:07:31I mean, sometimes you just have to let your feelings guide you.

01:07:34That's all you can really do, and then sometimes your head and your heart

01:07:39end up duking it out.

01:07:42Well, all those two things aren't really working right now, are they?

01:07:45She's gonna come around. You just gotta give her some time.

01:07:48That's the way this works.

01:07:50You didn't see the look on her face, huh?

01:07:52I know. I didn't, but...

01:07:56I've been AJ, okay?

01:07:59I've been you. I've been Gabby.

01:08:03You break hearts, you get your heart broken, and everything in between.

01:08:06That's just how it works.

01:08:08Be cool, and I think eventually AJ will hear what you're saying.

01:08:14Having feelings is evil?

01:08:16It's the worst.

01:08:18No feelings would be better, but that's just not the way it is.

01:08:22I do have one more really important question, though.

01:08:26What's that?

01:08:27How does Coach Murray look?

01:08:28Oh, like seriously, level with me.

01:08:31Tell me everything. I want all the details.

01:08:35What do you mean you think all these five people are gonna go?

01:08:37I don't know.

01:08:38I don't know.

01:08:39I don't know.

01:08:41I'm telling you.

01:08:43Tim and Grace are stealing this election.

01:08:45Got no, nowhere else to hide in the deep.

01:08:56Got no, no one else to find for the scheme.

01:09:08Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing that rise or fall.

01:09:18It's on all of us.

01:09:21Won't you let us do it?

01:09:24Let me see you.

01:09:26For the team.

01:09:30It's all luminous.

01:09:33For only you were caught both in kerosene.

01:09:37Kerosene.

01:09:39Kerosene.

01:09:52Got your hands into the fire.

01:09:57I'm scared by the greed.

01:10:03Got no, nobody to deny what they've seen.

01:10:09Got no, nobody to deny what they've seen.

01:10:15Got no, nobody to deny what they've seen.

01:10:26It's on all of us.

01:10:28Won't you let us do it?

01:10:31Take a seat.

01:10:33For the team.

01:10:36No, we don't know how to behave.

01:10:41Had my fingers up screaming, fuck what you say.

01:10:46It's not the whole world over earth we play.

01:10:49Hey, hey, hey, hey.

01:10:52Tests and turning every night, I wanna feel safe.

01:10:55Hey, hey, hey.

01:10:57In a room full of kerosene.

01:11:00It's on all of us.

01:11:02Won't you let us do it?

01:11:04Take a seat.

01:11:07Hey.

01:11:07For the team.

01:11:11It's on all of us.

01:11:13Oh.

01:11:14Why'd you let us do it?

01:11:16Take a seat.

01:11:17Hey.

01:11:18For the team.

01:11:22It's on all of us.

01:11:25Just drop it in your glass box.

01:11:27Yep.

01:11:28We got it.

01:11:29Hey.

01:11:30For the team.

01:11:31It's on all of us.

01:11:32Yep, got it.

01:11:33It's on all.

01:11:39I'm sorry, I just, I really need to, I mean, this is rude.

01:11:47Um, sorry, I, I dropped something out there, so I have to go ahead with you.

01:11:52I need to get ahead of you, thank you.

01:11:53Tom, I'm gonna, hi, what are you doing?

01:11:57Are you just going to ignore me forever?

01:11:59It's been three days.

01:12:00Well, each one of them is felt like daylight savings.

01:12:03That would make them an hour shorter.

01:12:05Well, I told you, I don't know the metric system.

01:12:08I know you were forced to hang out with me on track.

01:12:10But then you used me to get to my sister, to hide from Chantal, and to figure out who King

01:12:13Pun was.

01:12:14Which you could have told me about, by the way.

01:12:15Oh, because you were so honest?

01:12:18Okay, I deserve that.

01:12:20It's not like you told the truth, though, either.

01:12:22Well, I, I wanted to tell you.

01:12:23You know that other place you can go to make out, right?

01:12:26That's really not what we're doing.

01:12:28I wanted to tell you about King Pun, that I was King Pun.

01:12:31And I wanted to tell you how I felt.

01:12:34How I think about you all the time.

01:12:35How, when you look at me, I feel like my heart is literally beating in my ears.

01:12:40And when you get flustered, I get flustered.

01:12:41Because I think it's the stupidest, cutest thing I've ever seen.

01:12:43But maybe this is why I didn't tell you.

01:12:47Because I knew it was too good to be true.

01:12:50You don't get to choose who you fall for, believe me, I get it.

01:12:53AJ, look at me.

01:12:56I like you.

01:12:58I don't want to be runner-up.

01:13:06Why does the vote for Dylan hashtag only have two posts when they're both complete?

01:13:10She hasn't posted in 12 hours.

01:13:11Is that weird?

01:13:12That feels really weird.

01:13:13Oh, do you care because it's King Pun, or do you care because it's AJ and it's driving you nuts,

01:13:16not knowing what she's thinking?

01:13:18I'm not answering that.

01:13:20Listen, I just know how much trouble AJ will be in if I tell on her I don't know what

01:13:23to do.

01:13:24Fleeing is always an option.

01:13:26You're going to be a great president, Stacy.

01:13:31Wait, you didn't vote for me?

01:13:33You're me and AJ's uniforms?

01:13:34Thank you, Gabby.

01:13:35Let's put it in there.

01:13:38Hey, this had hot Cheeto dust on it when I got it.

01:13:40Really weird.

01:13:44Oh, Paige.

01:13:46Principal Collins would like to see you in her office.

01:13:48I know.

01:13:50And, um, tell your mom I said, hi.

01:13:56I will not.

01:14:01Okay, let's just get this over with.

01:14:04I'm King Pun.

01:14:06There, I said it, okay?

01:14:07I accept whatever consequences you determine for me and I'll face them.

01:14:10Wait, let me get this straight.

01:14:12You are also King Pun?

01:14:14Yes.

01:14:15Okay, I'm King Pun.

01:14:16We're all King Pun.

01:14:17In fact, I'm Queen Pun.

01:14:18Huh?

01:14:19Is it root vegetable season?

01:14:20Because it's turnip time.

01:14:22See?

01:14:22No, I'm King Pun.

01:14:24We know you're not King Pun, okay?

01:14:26AJ Campos came in about an hour ago and she confessed to everything.

01:14:28Wait, what?

01:14:29Do you want to get suspended too?

01:14:30I'm just curious because it feels like you want to get suspended.

01:14:33And I don't know about you, but I'm not trying to do double the paperwork.

01:14:35I got things to do.

01:14:36Wait, suspension?

01:14:38You suspended her?

01:14:39Yes, I suspended her.

01:14:41She came in and gave me all the evidence I needed and she's allowed back into school next semester.

01:14:45Next semester?

01:14:46Do you understand how space and time works?

01:14:48Oh, God.

01:14:49The semester ends this week.

01:14:51Why are you still here?

01:14:52I have things to do.

01:14:54Wenches to boss and turkey legs to motorboat and history to write.

01:14:58Okay, I'll leave.

01:15:00Well, do you want to help me with the corset?

01:15:02Because it's, it is like a whole panic room on my back.

01:15:20Like, I want to win, but I just, like, I don't want to see you lose.

01:15:23I'm going to win, babe.

01:15:24I don't know if you are.

01:15:24I think I will.

01:15:25Oh, yeah?

01:15:26You think you're going to win?

01:15:27I know I'm going to win.

01:15:28Yeah.

01:15:28Tell me again you're going to win.

01:15:29I'm going to win.

01:15:30I'm going to fuck you.

01:15:32I need your help.

01:15:33Stacy, I need you to call Gabby.

01:15:34Ugh.

01:15:36Are you serious?

01:15:38She's relapsing.

01:15:39It's the opposite, actually.

01:15:40I'll fill you guys in while we work.

01:15:41We should go.

01:15:43Work on what?

01:15:44Paige!

01:15:45Paige!

01:16:02What are we doing?

01:16:03You know I can't be here right now.

01:16:04I won't take a look.

01:16:08Jesus Christ!

01:16:09What in the hell are you doing?

01:16:10Put that away!

01:16:14Gab, stop!

01:16:17Are you just trying to get me expelled at this point?

01:16:19Listen, I know you're still upset.

01:16:21Yeah, more so now.

01:16:22But I will always have your back, okay?

01:16:24If you're going down, I'm going down with you.

01:16:26Okay.

01:16:26Yeah, I appreciate the gesture, but this is not going to help me at all.

01:16:29In fact, I think it's going to get me in more trouble.

01:16:32Also, what the hell is it?

01:16:35Isn't it obvious?

01:16:37No.

01:16:38I feel like I'm playing Pictionary with an infant.

01:16:40It's supposed to be an arrow.

01:16:42You were supposed to follow it.

01:16:44What?

01:16:45Listen, I love you, okay?

01:16:47Even when we fight.

01:16:49And you're a fucking incredible artist and an amazing person.

01:16:52You deserve to win, AJ.

01:16:54All right, I do appreciate that.

01:16:56So please, follow my shitty arrow.

01:17:31All right, I do appreciate that.

01:17:34I feel like a stranger.

01:17:36I ran out on your love.

01:17:39Oh, babe, don't blame me.

01:17:41I change like the seasons.

01:17:46Good afternoon, everybody.

01:17:48Just a quick reminder, there's about 50 spots open for the annual Renaissance Fair.

01:17:53So if you'd like to sign up, you can still do that in my office.

01:17:57Moving on to the real reason we're here today, the election results.

01:18:01And a quick thank you to your peers here on stage who have worked so hard to earn your vote

01:18:07to become the next student body president.

01:18:11And out of the two, I have no idea who it could be.

01:18:13It's such a close race between the both of them.

01:18:18Without further ado, your next president is Stacey Clark.

01:18:25Yeah!

01:18:26Come on, let's do it.

01:18:27Madam President.

01:18:28First gentleman.

01:18:29Okay.

01:18:32I'm so excited.

01:18:38I am so honored to be your new student body president.

01:18:42As many of you may know, I've worked tirelessly to make this dream happen.

01:18:46And I want to give a huge shout out to everybody who's helped me along the way.

01:18:50I'm looking at you, Taver, Henry.

01:18:53As promised on my campaign trail, I will be completely transparent about all my policies.

01:18:58And I also will be challenging the administration on any issues I believe may have pushed back.

01:19:03Here we go.

01:19:04In fact, I'd like to serve right now by introducing you guys to my very first project,

01:19:10the Beautification Initiative.

01:19:12It's about time we took a page out of King Pun's book and filled these school walls with color and

01:19:18life.

01:19:18It's time we reinvested in art, no matter what the administration says.

01:19:22I voted for you, bitch.

01:19:24Therefore, to launch this initiative, I'd like to welcome a beautiful artist to the stage.

01:19:30Paige Evans!

01:19:34Woo!

01:19:36You look like a serial killer.

01:19:37Change your eyes.

01:19:38What is she doing?

01:19:40Wait.

01:19:41I can't believe I've become an accomplice to this.

01:19:44Oh.

01:19:44You're going to be surprised by a lot of the things you do with me.

01:19:48I'm mostly talking about sex stuff.

01:19:50Just so you know.

01:19:54Hello.

01:19:57My name is Paige Evans.

01:20:00Yeah, yeah, Paige!

01:20:05Some of you guys may recognize me from that party I attended once.

01:20:11This is terrible.

01:20:15Good job.

01:20:18Like King Pun, I too am also an artist.

01:20:24And I believe that art is supposed to make you feel something.

01:20:29King Pun isn't vandalizing school property.

01:20:32They're actually bringing life into this place.

01:20:37Have you ever walked into school and had a bad night or had a breakup and saw a mural and

01:20:46laughed or smiled?

01:20:49Yes.

01:20:50So, exactly.

01:20:53I don't...

01:20:55I don't think that King Pun has to be punished for that.

01:20:59And as your new class president, I agree.

01:21:05Great.

01:21:07It's a coup.

01:21:10Please, please, please, please.

01:21:13Hi.

01:21:15Hi.

01:21:16So, AJ's King Pun?

01:21:19I just need you to know that when I'm with you, it's not about Gabby.

01:21:22It's not about track.

01:21:23Paige, I don't...

01:21:25You just...

01:21:25Just let me finish, okay?

01:21:28Please.

01:21:31Yeah.

01:21:33I've been really struggling with this stupid prompt, trying to figure out what my happiest moment feels like.

01:21:40Yo, I can't hear anything.

01:21:41Hey, you guys know what's happening?

01:21:42And I've realized that it's not just one moment.

01:21:46It's every moment that I've had with you.

01:21:49Falling for you has been the happiest moment of my life.

01:21:53And making this has been the easiest thing I've made all semester.

01:22:00Oh, my God.

01:22:04It's Gabby!

01:22:06Wow.

01:22:09Ian, it really hasn't been the easiest thing.

01:22:13I haven't slept in 24 hours, but you get the idea.

01:22:20Can I talk now?

01:22:23Only if it's good.

01:22:24Hmm.

01:22:27I'm really sorry I threw you in the bus and let you take the fall for me.

01:22:31It was wrong and really messed up.

01:22:33I just wanted to spend every second I could with you.

01:22:37And every stupid pun and mural and drawing brought us together.

01:22:43So I couldn't stop.

01:22:46Because I was falling for you, too.

01:22:49Oh.

01:22:51Okay.

01:22:53That was good.

01:22:54Yo, can y'all speak up, man?

01:22:55We can't hear you.

01:22:56Shut up!

01:22:57Shut up, Tim!

01:23:00I'm sorry.

01:23:01What do we do?

01:23:03I think we can just look at the idea.

01:23:05Okay.

01:23:10Oh, thank God.

01:23:12Yes, Mr.

01:23:13Stan!

01:23:15How are we going to get that to CalArts?

01:23:17Uh, my mom's going to cover it.

01:23:21There's only 15% battery left.

01:23:23Oh, yeah.

01:23:24I know.

01:23:24I brought the charger so that we could have a little fun with this bad boy in your office later

01:23:28on.

01:23:28And by later on, I mean in, like, 90 seconds.

01:23:31We should go.

01:23:35Thank God this went well.

01:23:37Could you imagine if she got you turning me down on tape?

01:23:40Hello.

01:23:41Oh, yep.

01:23:42There you are.

01:23:43I was sitting here the whole time.

01:23:44Did you not notice?

01:23:45No.

01:23:45Why are you smiling?

01:23:47What are you talking about?

01:23:48I know you took some of my hair.

01:23:50I know that you're in love with me.

01:23:52Whoa, okay.

01:23:52Don't flatter yourself.

01:23:53You're not my type.

01:23:54Two, of course I took your hair.

01:23:56How else is a love spell supposed to work?

01:23:57I'm exhausted.

01:24:00You're welcome.

01:24:02She really just called us out.

01:24:04Paige!

01:24:06Okay, I know.

01:24:08I know.

01:24:08Double the paperwork.

01:24:09And I'm sorry.

01:24:10And you're going to have to suspend us both.

01:24:13So.

01:24:13I'm not suspending either one of you guys.

01:24:15Really?

01:24:15What?

01:24:16Did I stutter?

01:24:17You guys need to clean your ears.

01:24:18No.

01:24:19Not suspending anyone.

01:24:21And the beautification initiative?

01:24:22When the board hears about it?

01:24:24It was me.

01:24:25Okay.

01:24:25That's fine.

01:24:26Damn.

01:24:26Oh, I'm not done yet.

01:24:28You guys are also going to run the face painting booth at the Ren Fair this year.

01:24:31Anything with it.

01:24:32That's the face I was looking for.

01:24:34Looking like a bunch of wenches.

01:24:37She's called us wenches.

01:24:38Does this mean I have to paint Tim?

01:24:40I mean, I'll say we should be thanking her.

01:24:42It's the first day in the job and you've already started a revolution.

01:24:45Would you expect anything less?

01:24:46Don't use those dental dams.

01:24:48You're something you're lucky.

01:24:53By the way, that wasn't just a kiss.

01:24:58Yeah, that's shit.

01:25:01The thing about art is that you can't force it.

01:25:04It's a lot like love.

01:25:05You have to just let it come to you and not be afraid to be vulnerable.

01:25:10I spent so long comparing myself to other artists, to my peers, to King Pun.

01:25:15And when I finally stopped and I started living my life, my art caught up with me.

01:25:20And you know what?

01:25:21It looks pretty damn good from here.

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