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Gogglebox - Season 27 - Episode 01
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00:00It's on the blink Mary. Literally. It's not igniting. It's not igniting Mary. Turn it off.
00:07Turn it on again. Turn the machine off at the wall. Wait a few seconds. Turn it back on again.
00:18What a time to run for the boiler to get on the blink Mary. The middle of winter with snow
00:24forecast.
00:28No. What an entrance. I'm living for this. Taser in. Oh. Have you ever done a chocolate? It's all sad.
00:35I don't think so. Hey. Oh here we go. What is that? Oh shut up. This doesn't look real. I
00:42don't think it is. A framboisier. What's a framboisier? Oh I knew it. No. This looks dodgy doesn't it? It
00:50does. Why is it dodgy? This is going to go down so badly. None of us learn do it.
00:56I hate you. Must remember that belly. This is what everyone came for. The lamp bells are ringing with me
01:04Mary. Least the nipples are covered. Yeah. It's half the battle.
01:08In the week we said a fond farewell to snooker legend John Virgo. We enjoyed lots of great telly. They
01:16were wheeling out the big brains on Channel 4. Please welcome Susie Dent.
01:25Susie. Lovely to see you. Of course the woman from Countdowns in this. She is really smart to be fair.
01:32But although at the same time doesn't she just look up dictionary like.
01:38That's right. All she does is flip through the dictionary. Yeah. And she goes right. Yeah that is a real
01:43word.
01:46We can do that. I can do that yeah.
01:49Will Smith found himself in a hole on Disney Plus.
01:52The goal of the expedition is to find new species. Not just for the sake of finding new species. You
01:59know we're not collecting stamps here.
02:01His name's Prof.
02:02That means he's a professor. There's a joke at my work that I'm a professor. Because one time I filled
02:10out a form and I put Prof. Instead of Miss.
02:18And Olivia Atwood was showing us how to get filthy rich on ITV2.
02:23It's in the millions. Wow.
02:24I don't know why you don't do any of this.
02:27You'd make a fortune.
02:29You've always said that. You could do a chat line.
02:32I'd be good at it.
02:33I know you said.
02:34Hey Lee look I've already got. I'll show you.
02:36Ready.
02:37What?
02:39Taking your clothes off. What?
02:42Hello sir. Yes.
02:44What would you like to do?
02:47Oh you'd like me to take my dress off?
02:49Yes okay.
02:53Oh the zip's got a bit stuck.
02:56Hold on a moment.
02:59Right the dress is coming off now sir.
03:04Isn't it good?
03:06Oh I've got my finger stuck.
03:17In Leeds.
03:18Where did it all go wrong for you on Saturday night?
03:21Because you seemed alright at the brunch.
03:22I think it was when I had them two spicy margaritas back to back.
03:25One spicy margarita after the other.
03:27I just love a spicy margs.
03:29Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
03:31Well you went absolutely mad with me.
03:33I bought you a pink gin and tonic and you were going
03:35no you know I wanted spicy margarita.
03:37I wanted spicy margarita.
03:38Why have you bought me pink gin?
03:40Yeah and so I necked that gin that you bought me and then trotted off to the bar and bought
03:44myself two spicy margaritas.
03:46Not one but two spicy margaritas.
03:48Yeah.
03:49Just to spite me.
03:49Yeah and then I drunk one spicy margarita after the other necked them and I actually think
03:57that after that point of necking those spicy margaritas that's when the night becomes blurry.
04:02That's when it spiralled.
04:04That's when it spiralled yeah.
04:05You rang me at two in the morning and I thought piss off.
04:09On Thursday night the latest bunch of business hopefuls were suited and booted and back in
04:14the firing line on BBC One.
04:17I tell you what I watched episode one last week shit show.
04:20I wish I was actually clever enough or had the brain to invent something that they would
04:26love but that would just never happen.
04:29You're fired.
04:32We had to do a business plan when we took the pub.
04:35Oh did you?
04:36Yeah well I never did it.
04:38I didn't.
04:38I wouldn't know how to start a business plan.
04:40Where would you start?
04:41How would you start a business plan?
04:42You write it down.
04:43I know that you silly bastard.
04:47In the programme Lord Sugar had a playful way of introducing the next task.
04:53Are you sitting comfortably?
04:55We should begin.
04:58Oh it's Tony.
04:59Not a large sugar Tony.
05:01For your next task I want you to create a story for four to six year olds.
05:07Oh that is such a fun task.
05:10You need to produce a book and an audio version to go with it.
05:14Okay an audio version I think would be tricky because there's no visual aid there.
05:18No no that's the audio bit.
05:21This is a good one.
05:22Surely there can't go far wrong with this.
05:24Writing a kid's book and recording it.
05:26Exactly.
05:27I've got a story idea I think.
05:28Next for the boys.
05:29So mine is Geno Giraffe.
05:31He's on a spaceship and his whole end goal is basically to have a poo.
05:34Oh great.
05:35To have a poo?
05:36Correct.
05:37No get him out.
05:39Nobody wants to talk about excrement.
05:40This boy called Astro.
05:41Five years old.
05:42Goes into space and essentially he's trying to find the perfect toilet.
05:45Why is he all based around toilets?
05:48He's trying to find the perfect toilet in space.
05:51Which mum and dad is going to enjoy reading that story to their child?
05:55One, two, three, poo.
06:00Oh my god.
06:01This is only going to go one way.
06:03Down the toilet.
06:04Yeah.
06:05Next chapter for Marcus's boys.
06:07Please Rue, can I do a poo in your loo?
06:09Oh my days.
06:11Do you want to do for Doo-Doo Land?
06:13Dun, dun.
06:15No.
06:17Don't do that.
06:18You're taking the mix.
06:19Is this for real?
06:21Yeah.
06:21Let's go.
06:21Take us some.
06:22Okay.
06:23Dun, dun.
06:26Oh.
06:29Is this seriously what The Apprentice has come to?
06:33Central London.
06:35Are we excited?
06:36Yeah!
06:37No.
06:38Oh my god.
06:39What are the kids going to say?
06:40Oh dearie me.
06:41Right, this is your audience, isn't it?
06:42If the kids like it, you've got some testimonials.
06:44He is not scared of any planet in the universe.
06:49Except for one.
06:51Oh Jane.
06:52Look at the faces.
06:53Oh the bird.
06:55Doo-Doo Land.
06:57Dun, dun.
07:03Not a one is laughing.
07:05But what did people think of the adventure that Astro went on?
07:07Shut it, isn't that funny?
07:09Oh.
07:10Ha ha ha ha.
07:12It isn't that funny.
07:14Do you know what?
07:15Kids are brutal.
07:16They are.
07:16Do you want to hear it one more time?
07:19No.
07:19No.
07:20No?
07:21Ha ha ha ha.
07:22Once was enough.
07:24I care like it to be a cigarette.
07:25I prefer the humour of P.G.
07:27Woodhouse.
07:27Ha ha ha ha.
07:295 p.m
07:32Arriving some of Britain's biggest booksellers. Oh
07:36This is a bit this will be so we are here to present to you astro and the three aliens
07:55That's exactly how it's gone
07:59They've actually narrated how their books got there
08:04In home I got to be back does it look as though I'm glad to be back. Did you enjoy
08:09it?
08:10Yes, I did. Oh good. I enjoyed my library. Where did I go? Hey, best friends Jenny and Lee
08:17Gandhi no not candy. What is it?
08:22India
08:24Yeah
08:27Go
08:28Oh
08:28Go away. Oh, yeah, go away. Yeah
08:32Go away. I'm surprised you I'm surprised you won't ask me where did I get it from where'd you get
08:37it from fucking India?
08:38Where do you think Manchester? Oh, yeah
08:41On Sunday night we settled in for a light-hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV
08:48The floor
08:50We can't have an alcoholic drink on a Sunday. It's only one
08:56You better drink it famous last word. I'm Rob Brydon and this is the floor. Hello, Rob
09:02He looks like a koala. Let's bring in our players
09:07Oh, they're all happy to be there. Oh my lord
09:12Oh, I think I quite like this already. Have they all got a box? They've all got their own box
09:16So you choose your subject depending on your specialist specialism so like you might choose I don't know Aston Villa
09:23Okay, or pop music
09:24Yes
09:26And what would your specialist subject be? Food
09:28Absolutely
09:30Hello, everybody
09:3249 of you remain
09:3449
09:35And you're all still in with a chance of winning that huge jackpot of 50,000 pounds
09:44It's not bad for a Sunday afternoon, Mike
09:46No
09:47Let's light up the floor
09:50What a strapline
09:52Here we go, any second
09:54Oh
09:56Sleigh
09:58Sleigh
09:58What does that mean? Sleigh bells?
10:02It must have been S.L.A.Y.
10:05He's going to kill the contestants, his rivals, slay them
10:09Now then, George, your category is?
10:12U.S. states
10:13Oh
10:15I've been in a few states, but not in many U.S. states
10:18So there's four, four states
10:21I think there's at least 60
10:23America, New York
10:28America, New York and then there's another two
10:31You're lying to me
10:33I'm not
10:34But George wasn't playing his own category
10:36He was about to play Aisha's category
10:39The category is famous hair
10:42I don't think Dad would get very far with this one
10:44No
10:44No
10:45No
10:50Claudia Winkleman
10:51Claudia Winkleman
10:53No
10:53Long black and shiny
10:54No dandruff
10:57Mr T!
10:58B.A. Barakas
10:59I ain't getting no playing fool
11:00Mr T
11:01I've woke up like Mr T and all my hair shrinks
11:04We've all woken up like Mr T
11:05Well not all of us, but us people of colour
11:09Harry Winkleman
11:10No
11:12Harry Winkleman
11:15Prince Harry
11:16Prince Harry
11:17I mean they've done him wonders there because they've clearly used an old picture
11:22Yeah
11:22It's like orange smoke on top now
11:25B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A..
11:32Oh, Dolly Parton!
11:35I thought it was Peggy from EastEnders
11:40Oh, I know, what's her name?
11:42What's their name? Have you seen the beard?
11:45Oh, no
11:46Jason Momoa
11:48No, I didn't know that one
11:49I was going to be like, Jesus?
11:51No, I was going to say the one that's the best
11:56Posh Spice
11:57No, that's not Posh Spice, it's Baby Spice
12:01Mel B?
12:02Nope
12:03Diana Ross
12:03Mel B
12:05Mel B?
12:07Oh
12:07Oh
12:08I told you, pal
12:10I'm sorry, they're exaggerating her hair a little bit there
12:12No, she doesn't look like that
12:16Prince
12:17Prince?
12:18That's a woman
12:20I was going to say Prince William's woman
12:24Prince William's woman
12:27In this day and age, Amani
12:30In this day and age, she's only his woman
12:33No, I forgot her name
12:35She's only his woman
12:37This is what I like to call an ironing show
12:39You know, if you're doing a bit of ironing, you bang this on, don't you?
12:42Yeah, it used to be the EastEnders omnibus
12:44Yeah
12:44Look, now you can just bang the floor on
12:46Yeah
12:47Get the kids' uniforms washed out
12:49Yeah
12:49Done
12:50It's not going to put you off
12:51No
12:52But it's nice to have one in the background
13:02In Manchester
13:03Me mate's getting married on Friday and I'm really looking forward to it
13:06But me mate's a vegetarian
13:09So that means vegetarian food at the wedding
13:12No, surely you'll do some normal options
13:15It's veggie food
13:16The thing is, I like vegetables and that
13:20No issue with vegetables
13:23But I do like a good like, bit of chicken or something
13:28Hey Sean, you never know, you might go
13:30The food might be that good, you might become a vegetarian
13:35Ah, lads, can't see that
13:36Well, yeah, sure, you could be the one that turns up
13:38Who's the guest that's turned up with a, like, with a wedding present at a packet of pork pies and
13:42sausage rolls here
13:43They're all going to be around it, aren't they?
13:45Don't give him my days
13:47This week, Disney Plus was pushing a Hollywood A-lister to the limit on an epic new adventure series
13:53Pole to pole with Will Smith Shirl
13:56He's going from the North Pole right down to the South Pole
13:59He's walking, is he?
14:01Walking?
14:04Where is the North Pole?
14:05I don't think you can live there
14:07You can
14:07I can't
14:08Santa lives there
14:10Yeah, just Santa
14:11No one else
14:15I don't think I'd want to go pole to pole with Will Smith or toe to toe
14:19You know, Chris Rock found that out, didn't he?
14:21Did you ever have one of those friends
14:23Why is he that close to the camera like that?
14:25That, like, gets you in trouble all the time?
14:29Well, I was that friend
14:30Yeah
14:33How does he know?
14:34I remember my very first snake bite, you never forget your first
14:37What do you mean? How many snake bites have you had in your life?
14:40Has he been in the shop?
14:42No, darling
14:43Over the last 25 years, I've had 27 snake bites
14:4627?
14:4724 broken bones, 400 stitches
14:49Oh my God
14:51Two stingray stings and one near fatal scorpion sting in the Amazon
14:54Bloody hell, that's like my summer holidays
14:57Have a doll then
14:58I hope you've got good health insurance
15:01Brian has us in the middle of the Amazon
15:06And you want to go there?
15:08Yeah, not necessarily with Brian
15:11Now, Brian thinks there are creatures here that could hold the secret to saving millions of lives
15:18That's worth looking for
15:19Oh, wow
15:20Okay, let them stay there
15:21Stay there with your secret
15:23We are arriving
15:24The main goal of our expedition is just there
15:27Oh, what's the main?
15:28But today we are not going up
15:30We are going down
15:31We're going up?
15:32No, I couldn't be going down
15:33I'm terrible
15:34When I got stuck behind that woman in the Great Pyramids that year
15:36I'll never forget it
15:45Cueva de los Tayos
15:48AKA where people don't come back out
15:50You know what that means in Spanish?
15:52What?
15:52De ball
15:54We are going down
15:55About 20-storey buildings
15:5820-storey buildings?
16:00Isn't there a lift?
16:00See you in the bobbin
16:02You go first
16:04Set some lights up
16:05And a little fire
16:06Imagine if down there
16:08There's a cure for cancer
16:10He's shooting for the stars, fair play to him
16:12Oh, I'd go, I'd go
16:14There's a cure for cancer
16:15Oh, please let there be
16:16I'll call my help
16:17It wasn't long before Brian and Will's poking about
16:20Would unearth some creepy crawlies
16:23Oh, hey
16:24Oh, that's a nice one
16:26Oh, wow
16:27Oh, my God
16:30What the fuck?
16:32Sorry, Vin
16:33Oh, my God
16:35I'm not looking
16:37We're going to need a bigger jug
16:39Here we go
16:40Thank you
16:40Oh, you know
16:42Oh, my God
16:42It's the size of a hand
16:43Showed, that's showed
16:45I'll tell you what
16:46That's got airier legs than me
16:48Yeah, that thing is insane looking
16:49Oh, my gosh
16:51Could you imagine that in your bedroom?
16:54So, what do they do now?
16:55They've got the animals
16:56So, how do they extract the venom?
16:59Because them animals aren't going to give it freely, are they?
17:02So, we're going to milk the biggest of the tarantulas
17:05Milking tarantulas
17:06Go on
17:09How long does the spider stay knocked out?
17:11I try to do as minimal as possible
17:13So, it's usually out for about five minutes, ten minutes at most
17:16So, you should hurry up
17:17Spider sedation?
17:19Well, I never
17:20It takes three of us just to wrangle the animal
17:23Uh-oh
17:26Oh, it's just so big
17:28Right, so, first, Amalia is going to pop open one of the fangs
17:35Whoa
17:37Fucking hell
17:38Stay to that
17:40Jesus
17:41Are you getting any venom?
17:43Oh, a nice big drop
17:43Look at that
17:44Look at that
17:46It's milking
17:48There we go
17:48Oh, that was a good amount
17:50Oh, my God
17:51Look at that
17:52The spider's waking up rapidly
17:53Oh
17:54Oh, it's waking up now, Lee
17:56Oh, shit
17:57Rapidly
17:57Fucking hell
17:58Knock him out, man
17:59Get some gas on him
18:01Your first venom extraction
18:03Look at all that
18:05Will drinks it
18:06We're going to do some shots down here, I know what
18:11In Durham
18:13When I go food shopping, because I go food shopping now
18:15I've only done it twice
18:17You must be starving
18:18In the whole six months I've lived there
18:20Best friends Abby and Georgia
18:23Well, that's when I done that week of Hello Fresh, didn't I?
18:26Ah
18:26Never do that again
18:29Hated it
18:30It was the worst week of my life
18:33There was tomato puree up me walls
18:35I hated every second
18:39I'm being devious
18:40I put a complaint in
18:41Dindra
18:42Please send a chef with this next time
18:47On Sunday night, ITV2 was showing us new ways to make a living
18:51Right, get your notepad out
18:53What?
18:54Living outward
18:55How to get filthy rich
18:56Oh, I'd love to be filthy rich, wouldn't you?
18:58That's all right, I would
18:59Oh
19:03This gives you an insight into how people are making money in questionable ways
19:07Yeah
19:07It's people that make money out of like OnlyFans and stuff
19:11Oh
19:12Hey, I don't want Nat watching this getting ideas
19:16Seeing what else there is available on the internet for money
19:19No, well, do you know what?
19:20I actually did once buy some saucy underwear
19:23And he got annoyed with me and says, what have you bought that for?
19:28Visibility on social media of the foot fetish has spiked in recent years
19:32Oh, foot fetish!
19:34I don't want to look at my own, let alone someone else's dusty crusty feet
19:38Does that turn you on?
19:39No, not really
19:41Is it so parcel?
19:43With Pornhub reporting a 58% increase of interest from the under 35s
19:49Don't include me in that
19:50Yep, it's your generation
19:52Look, it's your splat bang in the middle
19:54My generation, we need to be doing better
19:56I think everyone's got a foot fetish on a slag
19:59No, no, no
20:00One guy I found online stumbled upon the earning power of his feet
20:04While serving in the armed forces
20:06What?
20:07You're joking
20:08Surely you can't do that in the armed forces
20:10What are you so attractive about this size 11 stinky foot?
20:14Oh Lord, move that foot away
20:16He has been the only person thus far to be kicked out of the Navy for creating adult content
20:23Why can't he do that and serve the nation?
20:28I like men in uniform though, Lee
20:30Oh?
20:31I do, honestly
20:32Is that why you used to see the lollipop man?
20:36Yeah
20:37What he's told me, which I don't really understand, but he's doing a sock drop
20:42A what? Sock drop?
20:44Now this isn't the first time I've heard about this
20:46There's a post that says, Millennium Bridge, 10.30am today
20:51I am leaving a pair of dirty socks to come and get them
20:54This is insane
20:56I've missed my calling
20:57The world has gone mad
20:59I mean, my sock drawer needs a good sorting out, to be fair
21:03If I could make a bit of money from selling my old socks
21:06I've been my holy socks, maybe I should be selling them
21:09We're in central London today
21:11And as requested, so many of you want me to leave a sock on Millennium Bridge
21:16Guys, you might see me on this bridge, because I was in London the other day
21:19If I turn up, it's just coincidence, okay?
21:22So I've actually got this pair that I've been wearing for four days straight
21:24Oh! Four days?!
21:27Why should they be walking around on their own?
21:29He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
21:31Clearly
21:33He's tying them on
21:34Right, there you go
21:36Are we supposed to get a pair?
21:40Well, he's learnt something in the napey nut
21:42He's learnt how to tie a knot
21:44What do the people that have picked up the socks in the past look like?
21:47I want to see who's getting those socks!
21:49Yeah, I want to see
21:50That's what I want to know
21:51Name and shame
21:52As we're leaving the bridge, Zach spots someone he recognises
21:57No! He recognises somebody
22:00That's one of my socks!
22:02Where? Where?
22:03Running for the sock now
22:07That's one of his fans, Mary
22:08How long's that been?
22:09What? 30 seconds? Minute?
22:11Gross, he's on his street, are we?
22:13Shall we meet him?
22:14Well, I mean, I would obviously, but he's your fan, not mine
22:17This is crazy, this is actually crazy
22:21Where have they gone?
22:22Someone got them before him
22:24Somebody's already got them!
22:30Oh, look, it's gutted
22:32So, where's the socks?
22:34Is he coming?
22:35Where are they?
22:36No, we're actually meeting a foot fetishist, Nuttie
22:39I think I've gone into a sort of nightmare or something
22:42Well, better luck next time
22:45Nice to meet you, thanks for talking to me
22:48I'll let you say your goodbyes
22:49I'll give you a hug
22:50Wait, really?
22:51I'll be nice
22:52Oh, are they hugging? They're hugging Daniella
22:55Right...
22:57That'll be better than the socks
22:58Yeah
22:59What could I show people?
23:03What's the matter?
23:05Well, I don't want to play
23:07Because I'm thinking
23:08Oh
23:08It's going to be your stinky underwear
23:10That's what I want, Jane
23:11I could do a bra, couldn't I?
23:14Yeah, way too much already
23:16I am so in to sell socks
23:20It's not happening, darling
23:24And I'm going and checking every sock in the drawer upstairs
23:27Before we go to bed tonight
23:29There's going to be a sock register
23:30And there's going to be a sock register upstairs
23:32And if any socks have gone next week, I'll know where they are
23:44In the Cotswolds
23:46I almost did dry January
23:48What do you mean you almost did?
23:50Well, I did, I did that week
23:52The week where you did three days
23:53I did four
23:54Andrew and his husband Alfie
23:57I quite liked it for my ten days
23:59There's probably 30 non-alcoholic beers still left in the fridge
24:03Yeah, I drank four
24:04OK, so it wasn't that, it was more of a damn January
24:06It was a total damn January
24:08OK
24:09On Monday night, there were more police in pursuit on Channel 5
24:13Can I just change?
24:14Oh, I couldn't possibly
24:15Thank you so much
24:18Come on, off your cob
24:19Good girl
24:19Yay!
24:20What are we, cob boxes?
24:22Watch this for me
24:22Right, we're going to watch this
24:23So that you know what not to do on the motorway
24:26Now that you're learning to drive
24:27It's fine, Jay, go so slowly
24:29Cheers, you're fine
24:30Cheers, Captain Obvious
24:32When it comes to bad driving
24:34Dash camp never lies
24:36There are some shite drivers out there, aren't there?
24:39Shite, shite
24:40Locking up the most dangerous people on our roads
24:43Are the motorway cops
24:45I'd love to see them catch a few
24:48I haven't been on the motorway for ages
24:49Since my mother died, there's no reason to go anywhere
24:52Mum would make a good motorway cop
24:54She can make a one-point-full turbo mocker
24:56Do things that the Stig could only dream of
25:00Yeah
25:03I like driving on the motorway
25:04But I hate the lane hoggers, man
25:06Move out the way
25:07Shae doesn't like the lane hoggers, Andre
25:10She is a lane hogger
25:11She's the number one lane hogger
25:13Oh, my days, Shae
25:15That's worse than me
25:16That is worse than me
25:17No, your dad just
25:18Your dad goes all over the place
25:20You're like, Andre, just stay in one lane, man
25:22Shae sits there, in his little mini
25:28Umbersad police, what's the emergency?
25:30Umbersad, that's us
25:31It's the refinery service station
25:32I've got a theft of fuel
25:34Just literally left the side now
25:35A theft of fuel, you know what that means, don't you, Soph?
25:38They've net some fuel
25:39That's right
25:39I've done that, have you driven away?
25:41Yeah
25:41Without paying?
25:42Yeah
25:43Accidentally, mine was paid
25:44Of course
25:45Mark, stop it
25:46He looks stoned, if you say
25:48Oh, he's stoned
25:49On the drugs
25:50He's on drugs, does he live?
25:51Oh, that's even worse, isn't it?
25:53Mill's made off with fuel
25:55The Bentley Continental in black
25:57A Bentley Continental?
26:00Oh, what?
26:01Oh, no, what's that?
26:02Is that a Bentley?
26:02And you can't pay for your fuel?
26:04The last reliable site was at Inningham Dock
26:06Tango November 1-1
26:08We're blue lighting across there now
26:09We're blue lighting
26:10We're blue lighting
26:13He's a hallucination
26:14He believes he's the second coming of Jesus
26:16He believes he's the second coming of Jesus
26:18Oh, Jesus
26:20He's off his trolley then
26:21To be fair, I would imagine that the second coming of Jesus
26:24Would drive round in a Bentley Continental
26:27Yeah
26:30He's got a couple of pals in the car and all
26:32So it's Jesus and the disciples
26:36It is failing to stop
26:39Well in excess of 7-0 in a 3-0
26:42Oh, I see 17 or 30
26:43Yeah, that's way worse than I was
26:45This is marvellous, this programme
26:48Yeah
26:51There's the car
26:51The wagons have got him
26:52Eight CVs have got him
26:54Box him in, box him in
26:59Stop, stop
27:00Yeah, stop you silly bastard
27:02Contact made with subject vehicle
27:04Contact made
27:05Vehicle is continuing
27:07No, he's gone away
27:09The lorries
27:10The lorries
27:10Oh my days
27:12You stupid wagons
27:14Fucking wagons
27:14Wagon drivers
27:17He's gonna go straight through
27:19Oh
27:20Oh
27:21It just went through the barrier
27:24It's going right, right, right
27:26Right, right, right
27:27Oh
27:28Oh my God
27:29This is absolutely wild
27:31This is crazy
27:32It's like a James Bond film
27:34Isn't it?
27:34Tango November 1-1
27:36Other units are now on site
27:38You've got back up
27:39Okay
27:40Good, good, finally
27:41Where's the helicopter man?
27:46Shit, a break
27:47This is fast
27:48This is so cool
27:50For all the wrong reasons
27:52This must be the best car chaser
27:55They're fantastic, isn't it?
27:58They've got him, they've got him
28:00That's it, they've got him
28:05He's been dogged
28:05He's been dogged?
28:08He's been dogged
28:09He's been dogged
28:09He's been dogged
28:10Get him dogged
28:11Lay it on your front, lay it on your front
28:13Do me now
28:14Do not move
28:15I don't think he can move, can he?
28:17I thought John's been moving
28:18Where's he off to?
28:19Right mate
28:20Right mate
28:20You're under arrest
28:21On suspicion of failing to stop for police
28:23Dangerous driving
28:24And abduct slash kidnap
28:26Suspicion of failing to stop for the police
28:28There's no suspicion in that
28:30He's gone for 40 miles
28:32At 100 miles an hour
28:33Charge him for that one now
28:35You understand?
28:36I was scared
28:36Sorry?
28:37I was scared
28:39I do nothing to know what
28:40Oh, I can that
28:41Fucking hell
28:43He's wrecked that car
28:44I mean, your mum has come back with some dents and scratches but never like that
28:54In Leeds
28:55Izzy, is that my jaw or have I got jowls?
28:58Jowls, definitely
28:59Sisters Ellie and Izzy
29:02I'm getting jowls
29:03Yeah
29:04Seriously
29:05Like, you being mean or being honest?
29:09Let me feel
29:12It's jowls
29:13Fuck's sake
29:18Gobble gobble
29:20On Friday, an exciting expose was making the headlines on the BBC
29:25As soon as we put the news on, any chance we could watch it?
29:28Because it would be nice
29:29I know I do love looking at doggies
29:30Well thanks for the kiss
29:31He he he he he
29:40Do you have to keep fucking slapping?
29:43Well get me some bread then
29:45Complaints about rogue locksmiths have risen by two thirds over the last four years
29:50Good heavens
29:51Good heavens
29:52I had no idea that was a thing
29:53No one needs to die
29:55Oh dear
29:55What are they doing?
29:57Using a tactic known as bait and switch where companies offer an affordable call out fee but hike up the
30:03price when they get there
30:05Yeah
30:05That's when you hear the whip
30:06Oh
30:07Yeah
30:08Oh that's a mortis
30:09Five lever
30:11Yeah
30:11Five lever
30:12Basically every plumber and locksmith and builder and roofer in London is a crook
30:19No
30:20No, not all crooks
30:21Emergency call out fee 45 pounds
30:24Finn and Maria were locked inside when they called 24-7 Locksmiths UK
30:29How do you lock inside?
30:30You got locked between two doors one time
30:32I did, I got locked in the port
30:34She was there all day till I got back from work
30:35They say they were quoted 45 pounds over the phone
30:39Well that's where they get you
30:40Cheap call out fee
30:42Expensive repair bills
30:43Yes
30:44Just make in store fault
30:46We're going to have to replace the door here love
30:47Yeah
30:48Yeah really we're going to have to knock down this house really to get you in
30:51I stopped my head out the window and said do not break the lock
30:53We can, you know, we can definitely fix this without doing that
30:55We're not going to have to replace this you don't need to do that
30:58And he said no I need to do it
30:59Snap, lock was broken he was in
31:01I love how she's laughing at the situation
31:02Yeah because she's thinking that's definitely not how it panned out
31:05Yeah that's not how it panned out at all
31:07You know you said to me it doesn't need doing
31:09He said it needs doing
31:10And I've said let's do it
31:12One thousand two hundred and fifty pounds altogether
31:14What?
31:15Oh
31:17How much?
31:18How'd you get to that much?
31:19The call out fee was 45
31:2145
31:22Thieving robbing bastards
31:24We wanted to investigate
31:26Yeah
31:26Come on let's set him up
31:27So we secured a property and rigged it with secret cameras
31:31Oh I love this
31:32A sting
31:33Is this the news?
31:35Yes
31:35It's quite a long news isn't it?
31:38Yeah
31:38But first we wanted to prove that this lock didn't need to be drilled
31:42We should be able to bypass this lock in seconds
31:45No damage
31:47By bypass he means break in
31:49Yeah
31:49And they're not going to show us how to do that because that would be a bad idea
31:55Is that how quick it is?
31:57Then we made the call
31:58We charge 40 pounds for a simple door opening
32:01Well then you'd snap their hand off at that wouldn't you?
32:0340 quid sounds quite reasonable
32:05Yeah
32:05So to open it I'm going to have to drill the lock
32:08Oh
32:08Here we go
32:09You barely even examined it mate
32:11The price of drilling is 125 plus VAT
32:13He's just throwing prices at him
32:15No that's naughty
32:17But at this point when he's there going price of this 125 I'd say put your tool back in your
32:22van tiger and fuck off
32:24Butchery it's villainous
32:26So there you go that's the lock ruined now
32:31314 plus the VAT
32:36376
32:37Where's Dominic Littlewood when you need him?
32:40You know he needs to be out there on the beat
32:41Yeah
32:42Do we go now?
32:43Yeah
32:43Yeah
32:45Get out with the camera and the microphone
32:46Get out!
32:47I love wrong-uns being caught
32:49Hello
32:50We're the BBC
32:51Why are you charging so much for this job?
32:53Why is it costing so much?
32:55Because I'm a corn man
32:56I know
32:58Next question
32:59We email the company for further comment
33:02They've yet to respond and their website has been taken down
33:05Oh there's a surprise
33:06Yeah but it's probably been set up under another name
33:08Yeah, yeah, yeah
33:09You know at least Dominic Littlewood would get stuck in
33:12Oh he'd have booted, he'd have fucking kicked the wing wearer off or something
33:15At least
33:25In Blackpool
33:26Hey Soph
33:26Treat myself to a new suit
33:28Oh very nice
33:29Yeah
33:30It was awkward actually
33:32Because we were just chatting to the lads that were there
33:36You know whose shop it is, Chris's shop
33:38Pete and his little sister Sophie
33:40Because we were chatting and that
33:42I didn't want to get changed in the dressing room because I thought it were rude
33:45So I just got changed in the shop
33:49And next thing this dude's walked in and all I've got on is my undies and a smile
33:53I don't think that's right
33:55Well nobody seemed to mind, that was the thing
33:58But it just felt a bit awkward
34:00Are you sure those men even work there?
34:02Well I would hope so
34:06You know, isn't it a curtain as well?
34:09So even if you were chatting you could just chat through the curtain
34:12I know but I like to make eye contact when I'm speaking to people
34:15I bet the people that worked in the shop when you dropped your trousers they were thinking
34:20What a lad
34:21What is happening?
34:22Fwah
34:23This week it was the return of the raciest Regency drama on Netflix
34:29Oh I'm buzzing Bridgerton's back on
34:31I've been listening to mucky books lately
34:34I feel you dirty bitch
34:39See if we get some naughty bits
34:41Is that what you're watching it for?
34:43No it's educational
34:46Is everything well mum?
34:48Oh everything is perfect
34:50It should be perfect
34:52It would be perfect
34:53Where is Benedict?
34:54Who's Benedict?
34:55That's her other son
34:56If he guesses where he is
34:58Probably shagging
34:58Liar
34:59Yeah
35:03Oh
35:04That butler knows exactly where Benedict is
35:07Exactly
35:07Yeah
35:10Please fetch my carriage
35:12Uh oh
35:13Is she going to go and find him?
35:18That is a mother with purpose
35:20Oh she's on a mission there isn't she?
35:22Oh
35:22I've seen that walk before
35:24From your mother?
35:25Yeah
35:25Move
35:28Here we go
35:29What's she going to find?
35:32Oh my gosh
35:34What she walked in on?
35:36I don't know
35:36It's a shittle
35:40Benedict Bridgerton
35:41Oh my word
35:42Woo
35:43Ho ho
35:44It was best she just stayed out of the room
35:46Yeah what was she expecting?
35:48Draw back the curtains it is time for my son to wake up
35:50No no no please please do not
35:51Oh
35:53Oh
35:55Oh there's another one
35:57He's had an orgy in there true
35:59Fancy being caught by your mother like that
36:01There's always a black sheep in the family isn't there?
36:10Who's that Jane?
36:11I don't know
36:11I've not seen this one before who is she?
36:13What are you asking me for like I know?
36:16I can do this
36:17I can do this
36:18She looks as if she's nervous
36:20I don't think she's used to this sort of thing
36:22She's not giving swanky Bridgerton do is she?
36:24There is a large group around here
36:26Just conceal yourself behind her
36:29And just be out by midnight
36:30Oh
36:31Cinderella
36:32Fuck it Cinderella
36:34Oh God
36:34Out by midnight
36:36Was she going to leave her gloss slipper?
36:38Oh
36:39Good evening ladies
36:40Good evening
36:42Here he is
36:43Benedict
36:43The man of the hour
36:44Old Benedict
36:45Oh he's such a ladies man
36:47Mr Bridgerton
36:48Mr Bridgerton
36:49Over here
36:53Hello
36:54Oh look who he spotted
36:55The unknown
36:57That glance across a crowded room, Michelle
36:59I know
37:01Pardon me young lady
37:02Could I trouble you for the next dance?
37:04Oh no Mr Chance Benedict
37:07Oh
37:07That is
37:09Unlucky
37:10Oh he's
37:11In like Flynn
37:12Never seen him move so quick in my life
37:14Forgive me for interrupting
37:14I have just found this young lady's dance card
37:16But
37:17Unfortunately my name is
37:19Next
37:21Nooo
37:22Nooo
37:23Bingo
37:23Smooth movie
37:24Oh I am not looking for her husband
37:28You are not
37:29Oh
37:29Now she's talking his language
37:31That's going to change his world
37:33Yeah
37:34He's like
37:35She's the woman for me
37:37Excuse me
37:38I
37:39I meant to be somewhere
37:40Where's she going?
37:41Is it midnight already?
37:42I can't
37:43She just got there
37:43Have you lost your chakra?
37:44No
37:45Is it that we've met?
37:46No I cannot dance
37:47She can't dance
37:49Cause she's not a lady
37:50Oh she's common as muck Jenny
37:52She's common as muck
37:53A lady who cannot dance?
37:58Huh
37:58He's mind blown
37:59Yeah
38:00He's like tick
38:01She's unladylike
38:04Tick
38:05She don't want a husband
38:05That's her own marriage
38:06Tick
38:07Later in the garden
38:09We saw Benedict showing the mystery woman a few moves
38:12Two
38:13Three
38:14One
38:15Two
38:16How gorgeous
38:17It's been really sweet and romantic with her
38:24What's he doing?
38:27He was taking her glove off
38:28What for?
38:33What's happening?
38:35Why is he smelling her?
38:38He's infatuated
38:39My guy said
38:41I want to
38:41I want to get a good smell of this
38:47Oh
38:47She's got to go
38:48Is it 12 o'clock yet?
38:50Oh the charms
38:54Oh here we go
38:55Oh
38:56That's very forward isn't it Natty?
39:01Wait
39:02She said you ain't gonna forget me boy
39:05Mm-hmm
39:05Who is this mystery woman?
39:07I'm dying to know
39:13Oh come and pick it off
39:14Tell us who you are
39:15We're gonna get to see her face now
39:21She's one of the maids
39:22She's a frickin' maid
39:27Oh Jane
39:28Mmm
39:30This is forbidden love
39:31That were quite timber Bridgerton
39:33That's just getting us warmed up that
39:35It's not even started yet
39:37Just getting the juices flowing yeah
39:41In home
39:42Hey do you know
39:43The listening you know
39:44On these phones
39:45I know to do
39:46Do you know something yesterday
39:48I was talking about potato waffles
39:50Oh yeah
39:52And then I went on
39:53And potato waffles started coming on my phone
39:55You joke
39:56No I swear
39:57Best friends Jenny and Lee
39:59I did that with the barbecue
40:01What?
40:02Because we were talking about getting a barbecue
40:04And then the next minute
40:06I was sat
40:07It come up on my phone
40:08So they hear what you're saying
40:12The next time I was sat there I said
40:13I want a six foot man
40:15Unk like that
40:16Send me some of them
40:19And it still hadn't arrived
40:20No I'm still waiting for it
40:25I need to talk to them more often
40:27Don't I?
40:28Yeah
40:28Six foot two
40:29Six foot two
40:30Yeah six foot two
40:31Dark hair
40:32Don't want blonde
40:33Dark hair
40:34See what pops up
40:37It'll be race done on his chair
40:42On Monday night
40:43Alan Carr was on the hunt for closet clever clogs on channel 4
40:48I've done like you just
40:49Yeah
40:49I did pretty well
40:51I got like 120 or something
40:52I got 121 I think
40:54You're a liar
40:56No I'm not a liar
40:57You just picked one higher than me
40:58No
40:58I didn't do it
40:59I swear
41:01I'm sure it was 121
41:04Across the UK
41:05There are estimated to be a million undiscovered geniuses
41:10Oh I wonder if I'm one of them
41:12You could be a genius and not realise
41:14Yeah
41:16That's probably me
41:18That's me all over
41:21When I were a kid
41:22I used to know
41:23Everybody's reg plate on a state where I lived
41:25Oh Michelle knows that
41:26She's a copper
41:27Each week
41:2812 people
41:29From different corners of the UK
41:31Complete the number sequence
41:35Have been invited to Genius HQ
41:37Okay
41:38Oh
41:39Genius HQ
41:40I'd love to go to Genius HQ
41:42Yeah we're going to send you in darling
41:43We're going to sign you up for this
41:45Get me in there
41:45Here they'll compete in a series of mind stretching games
41:49Where do we begin?
41:51Designed with Mensa
41:52Oh
41:53Mensa
41:54I've heard of Mensa
41:55The Society for the World's Smartest People
41:58I was told I wouldn't go far in life
42:00That's nasty
42:02Who are these horrible people that taught you please?
42:05Honestly
42:05Horrible bastards
42:06Fuck yous all
42:07This is what I was told
42:09And you know what
42:10Actually I wish I could say to them now
42:11Hello
42:12I work in the cheese factory
42:18I'm proper smart me
42:19I would be intrigued to know what my IQ was
42:24But would I?
42:26Because if it's really low
42:27I don't want to know
42:29Better off not knowing
42:30Better off not knowing
42:31Better off burying your head in the sand
42:3327 year old Jess
42:34Is the first player to face the final round
42:37Come on Jess
42:38Oh Jess
42:39She's a real smart cookie
42:40Yeah
42:41Let's see how she does with this one
42:43Okay
42:43Right
42:46Memorise the details of this stack of Turkish delight
42:49Oh I love Turkish delight
42:50Turkish dish
42:51Yeah it's more like
42:52I want to eat that
42:53When you are ready you must move on to the next room
42:55Your first question can be found on the jar
43:00I think I'll be looking at the colours
43:02You know how they run the sequence
43:04I just want to eat the Turkish delight
43:06It's like the jar that displays the number of cubes in the Turkish delight tower
43:09How would you know that? How would you count them all then?
43:12This is about spatial reasoning
43:13Right no, lost me
43:15How the bloody hell would you know that?
43:17I'll tell you what it's quite half this self
43:19It is
43:20I got a general vibe that it was definitely over a hundred
43:24What?
43:25Yeah
43:25I'm going to go 1-6-2
43:28Yeah but there's no reasoning behind it
43:31Well
43:32I've got so far and I'm thinking
43:34Yeah there's a lot of Turkish delight there
43:42Correct off
43:43No way
43:44Bloody hell
43:45Damn she's quick
43:46Well I won far out
43:48162
43:50So that's not bad
43:51Containers choices of jam elderflower
43:54Right let's try the next one
43:55Jelly
43:56Ooh jelly
43:58Very good
43:59We're looking for a verbal sequence
44:01Jelly what? Jelly beans?
44:02Jelly
44:03Jelly
44:04What?
44:05Jelly
44:05Jelly
44:07Ooh
44:08Ooh
44:09Warm
44:10Jelly
44:11Jellyworms
44:13The seven
44:14Seven
44:15What's that? Seven becomes an L?
44:17Oh that's L
44:18It's like an L
44:24It's like an L
44:24Oh L
44:25Lemon
44:26Lemon
44:27Lemon plop
44:29It is lemon plop
44:31Is it?
44:33Lemon drop isn't it?
44:34Drop
44:34Lemon drop
44:35Lemon drop
44:36Lemon drop
44:37I like that
44:38Huh?
44:39Lemon drop
44:40Not lemon plop
44:41It's lemon drop
44:42What am I?
44:44What am I?
44:45Squirrel
44:46Squirrel
44:47Squirrel minus question
44:48Okay
44:50Have you got it?
44:51No
44:51Is it word word and then you have to add the O I C to make a new word?
44:56That is the trickiest question
44:59Look at the squirrels
45:00How can there be an answer out of this?
45:02Is it licorice?
45:07It's not licorice there's no there's no H
45:10There's no H in licorice you dickhead
45:13Yeah licorice
45:16Licorice
45:17Yes
45:19Wow
45:20Licorice
45:21Well what's licorice got to do with squirrel?
45:24Well done
45:25That was amazing for that whole reasoning
45:27Well done Jess
45:28She was amazing
45:29I can't believe it
45:31I actually can't believe I've done it
45:33That's
45:34I'm impressed there
45:35I'll give you that
45:36I'm smart
45:38I'm not
45:38Well listen
45:39Remember the paddling pool?
45:44Do you remember the paddling pool?
45:46Yeah
45:47And it said
45:48Fill it with water
45:50Yeah?
45:52You filled the bit you brought with air
45:54With water
45:58And then we couldn't get it up because the other inflatable bit was full of water
46:02Do you remember that Sean?
46:04Yeah
46:05And you're telling us you're a fucking secret genius
46:21Well if you want to see more of secret genius and maybe find out if you are one too
46:26Alan and Susie will be here Sunday at 9
46:28Well next up tonight the last leg is looking sharp
46:31Although there is probably more to do with guests Grayson Perry and Judy Love than Adam, Alex and Josh to
46:37be fair
46:38Stay with us
46:39Thank you
46:43Thank you for your daily
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