- 13 hours ago
A Girl Find True Love ( HD ).
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Art is supposed to be subjective, but Kingpun's art is subjectively good, while mine is objectively struggling, and at the
00:00:09worst time possible.
00:00:10Right now, I need to be on my A-game to get into the CalArts summer program, aka my dream
00:00:16school.
00:00:17Through your medium of choice, show us your happiest moment.
00:00:20Are you fucking kidding me?
00:00:22What a vague bullshit prompt.
00:00:24A vague bullshit prompt that will determine if I have a shot in hell at getting into one of the
00:00:28most competitive schools in the country, which will determine if I have a future in art at all.
00:00:33No pressure, though.
00:00:34So how do I answer this impossible question?
00:00:37Huh, what if my happiest moment was when I came out to my mom?
00:00:41Okay, now turn it to the right.
00:00:46Also, I think I'm gay.
00:00:48Actually, I know I am.
00:00:49Ew, Barbara from next door is gay!
00:00:52Oh, okay?
00:00:52Sorry, my first instinct was to name other gay people we know.
00:00:56Honey, I'm so happy for you!
00:00:58She's always been supportive.
00:00:59Paige!
00:01:00Paige!
00:01:01Come on, no edibles before school.
00:01:03We've talked about this.
00:01:03Dylan's almost here.
00:01:04You're gonna be late.
00:01:05What if I just skipped the rest of junior year and went right to CalArts?
00:01:09Well, you could, but then you wouldn't get a lot of cool free swag from me.
00:01:14I'm already scared.
00:01:16I can't wait.
00:01:16Look.
00:01:17Glow-in-the-dark dental dams.
00:01:19They make your post kind of glow.
00:01:21It's so pretty.
00:01:22It's just a soft glow.
00:01:23Mom.
00:01:24When I was a teenager, we used to use glow-in-the-dark condoms.
00:01:26It really added a touch of whimsy to an otherwise fraught situation.
00:01:30We don't use those.
00:01:31We?
00:01:33Finally.
00:01:34Oh, my gosh, Paige.
00:01:36Is it Colleen from next door?
00:01:38Because she's so tall.
00:01:39I like that.
00:01:40Statuesque.
00:01:40It's not anybody.
00:01:41Because we, the queer community, we don't use those.
00:01:46So, just vibrators?
00:01:48Isn't that a little limiting?
00:01:50Probably.
00:01:51Okay.
00:01:51I'm going to put him here because I feel like you're going to change your mind.
00:01:54But if not, let me know because I have the receipt.
00:01:56Okay.
00:01:56Maybe she's a little too supportive.
00:01:59And that would be my best friend, Dylan.
00:02:02He's kind of like my platonic soulmate.
00:02:06I've always been able to share anything with him.
00:02:11Actually, maybe that was my happiest moment.
00:02:13So, I like girls.
00:02:16Me too.
00:02:17I still share everything with him.
00:02:19Even a Spotify account.
00:02:21I know.
00:02:21Spotify informed me.
00:02:23You live in the Phoebe Bridges for eight hours straight last night.
00:02:25Which is concerning because she only has two albums.
00:02:28Are you okay?
00:02:29Sad lesbian music is an integral part of my identity.
00:02:33So, I'm assuming that the application is not going well.
00:02:36Just can't figure out what to send in.
00:02:39I know that colleges love a good coming out story.
00:02:41Please don't do that.
00:02:42You'd be like the billionth gay person today.
00:02:44How about you draw my presidential portrait?
00:02:46Hmm.
00:02:47That's a cute idea, Dylan.
00:02:49It's good, isn't it?
00:02:49But your political ambitions, they aren't my happiest moment.
00:02:53You know what I mean?
00:02:54You think that your crush on Gabriella Campos is Cal art-worthy?
00:02:58What?
00:02:59Unrequited love is the source of a lot of great art.
00:03:02And there's nothing more unrequited than my crush on Gabriella Campos.
00:03:08That's not Gabby.
00:03:10That's her sister, AJ.
00:03:14All right, kids.
00:03:16Time for this week's take-home project.
00:03:18Find a partner.
00:03:19Want to be my partner?
00:03:20That is Gabby.
00:03:22Sure.
00:03:23Now, I want to see you share responsibilities like real parents would.
00:03:28What should we name it?
00:03:29How about lentil?
00:03:31Lentil the egg.
00:03:33So dumb.
00:03:35I love it.
00:03:37Hi, lentil.
00:03:39Your moms love you very much.
00:03:44She's kind of the first girl who made me feel like life could be as good as art.
00:03:48You know?
00:03:53No!
00:03:53I'm not going to let you spend all of high school pining over some girl who doesn't give you the
00:03:57time of day.
00:03:58You know I don't like to serve my power as class president, but I'm going to have to if this
00:04:01keeps up.
00:04:02Stacey is going to win.
00:04:04Also, you do know that as class president, you don't have any actual power, right?
00:04:08That is a sad way to look at democracy.
00:04:23All right.
00:04:26Holy shit.
00:04:26You like?
00:04:27Save water.
00:04:28Shower together.
00:04:30That looks so hot.
00:04:31Damn, Stacey's also really hot.
00:04:33Great job with these, by the way.
00:04:36Though I do feel like you spent a little bit more time in Stacey's.
00:04:38Nope.
00:04:38I told you guys, I'm Switzerland.
00:04:40Oh, shit.
00:04:42They are also a little bit wet.
00:04:45Thanks for telling me that after I pick it up.
00:04:47And yeah, I'll just close the...
00:04:49Okay, no.
00:04:50Conio.
00:04:51Ay.
00:04:51Anyway, as I was saying, as your future class president, I think it's time for you to move on from
00:04:56Gabriela.
00:04:56It's too predictable to go for the most popular girl in school.
00:05:00Great.
00:05:00Right on cue.
00:05:01All of them.
00:05:02I want it all.
00:05:03Give me all of that.
00:05:03All of them.
00:05:04Give me, give me, give me all of them.
00:05:05All of them.
00:05:06I want it all.
00:05:07Give me all of that.
00:05:07All of them.
00:05:08Give me, give me, give me, give me all of them.
00:05:09Is she in slow motion again?
00:05:10Yeah.
00:05:10Music playing in the background?
00:05:12Mm-hmm.
00:05:12Funny feeling down there?
00:05:13Naturally.
00:05:14You are a lost cause.
00:05:15Ay, que joder.
00:05:18Heads up!
00:05:19Bye back.
00:05:21Yeah.
00:05:22Let's go.
00:05:23Let's go.
00:05:24Yeah.
00:05:24Yeah.
00:05:24Uh-uh.
00:05:24Uh-uh.
00:05:25Uh-uh.
00:05:27Shut the hell up.
00:05:29Starting the week strong with the new Kingpun mural.
00:05:31You know everyone's still thinking it's you, right?
00:05:33Well, little do they know, my rage anxiety would never let me deface school property.
00:05:37Whoa!
00:05:38Could you please not waste water and undermine my political platform?
00:05:42Oh, Kingpun did it again.
00:05:43Check it out.
00:05:44I kind of think that this one's good.
00:05:45I think it's kind of corny.
00:05:47Well, I think that you can't draw for shit.
00:05:49And I think that they're actually talented.
00:05:51No, you're so funny.
00:05:54Okay, everyone, away from the vandalization!
00:05:57Oh, God, here we go.
00:05:58If any of you have any information, as my mother used to say, snitches get riches.
00:06:04Have you ever seen him smile?
00:06:05Once.
00:06:06At a fire drill.
00:06:08He loved the chaos of it.
00:06:09Hey, nice mural, Paige.
00:06:10Tim, ugh, I love this little bit that we've got going, but it's not me.
00:06:16Oh, sure, Paige.
00:06:17Sure, Tim.
00:06:19No, it's definitely her.
00:06:21Doy!
00:06:22Hey, Kingpun thinks she's not Kingpun.
00:06:34Kingpun is who you should date, unless it's a dude or unless it's you.
00:06:37Because then you'd just be dating yourself and that would be weird.
00:06:39Hmm, you have no idea how hard it is out here for your everyday gay doing.
00:06:44Stop making excuses.
00:06:46You've been in a relationship since the first day of middle school.
00:06:48Also, this semester I'm going to make my move.
00:06:51Oh, yeah?
00:06:51Name one time they made a move.
00:06:52Uh, there was that server at Cheesecake Factory that gave me extra brown bread.
00:06:56It was her job.
00:06:56It was sexual.
00:06:57Hey, Stacey.
00:06:58Hey, you.
00:07:00Hmm.
00:07:00Did you turn your class president up in yet?
00:07:02You know I love some competition.
00:07:04Ooh, you know what happened to the deadline since the fifth grade?
00:07:07And that was only because I had severe chickenpox.
00:07:10But it was the worst case they'd ever seen.
00:07:13How is this a lot in school?
00:07:15Hmm.
00:07:16Hmm.
00:07:17God, I love when you're the best at things.
00:07:18Oh, yeah.
00:07:19Hmm.
00:07:21Wow.
00:07:22You guys are so straight, it's almost gay.
00:07:24Hmm.
00:07:25Do you guys want to come over after school and take edibles and watch track?
00:07:29So you could convince yourself that a CBD dog tree made you high again?
00:07:32Yeah.
00:07:32No, thank you.
00:07:33Plus, after school, we can't.
00:07:34We have track trials.
00:07:35Ugh.
00:07:36Why would you sweat when you don't have to?
00:07:38Well, you know, Paige, some people actually enjoy physical activity.
00:07:41Shocking.
00:07:41I know.
00:07:42Will you help me meet one of these?
00:07:43Sure.
00:07:43And me, some of these?
00:07:45The impending water wars depend on my win.
00:07:47Not that I took the high road while taking down the establishment.
00:07:49That is so fun.
00:07:51You can't help me take it.
00:07:53No.
00:07:54Okay, no.
00:07:54No.
00:07:55No, no, no, no, no.
00:07:56Okay, no.
00:07:56There are plenty of other queer options for you to date at this school.
00:07:59Please.
00:08:00Like who?
00:08:01Yeah, Paige.
00:08:02What about Shatel?
00:08:03I mean, she's like a cool Wiccan lesbian.
00:08:06I don't know.
00:08:07She's tried to put a love spell on me at least six times.
00:08:09If I'm going to date a witch, she has to be a talented one.
00:08:11Okay, true, true, true.
00:08:14How about...
00:08:14Oh, how about Aaron Billnings?
00:08:18No, she's a horse gay.
00:08:19All right, that's a little redacted.
00:08:22Stacey's just mad because she spent a summer at a question camp.
00:08:25What about I am?
00:08:27No, wait.
00:08:28I definitely don't have enough followers to date them.
00:08:31Plus, they're on and off with Gabby every other week.
00:08:34True.
00:08:35Hey, what about Amy?
00:08:37Amy?
00:08:38Yeah, right.
00:08:38Gateway gay.
00:08:39She's fingered every girl on the school.
00:08:41So what?
00:08:42I'm sure she's washed her hands.
00:08:44Wait, duh.
00:08:45What about AJ?
00:08:46Why would I ever do that?
00:08:47That's literally Gabby's sister.
00:08:48Also, is she even queer?
00:08:50Yeah, she's bi.
00:08:51And she's mysterious as hell.
00:08:53Yeah.
00:08:53AJ actually came out way before Gabs, but Gabs just dates more, so everybody forgets that
00:08:58AJ's queer, too.
00:08:59Talk about bi erasure.
00:09:01Gabby!
00:09:01Hey, Miss President.
00:09:03Hey.
00:09:03Excuse you.
00:09:04Anyway, question.
00:09:05Do you have the sign-up sheets for track trials today?
00:09:07I sure do.
00:09:09Let me get that for you.
00:09:11Hey.
00:09:12Here you are.
00:09:15Oh, Gabby.
00:09:15You know Paige, right?
00:09:17Um, yeah.
00:09:19Your locker is a site for sore eyes.
00:09:23Um, thanks.
00:09:25Are you coming out today?
00:09:27I've actually, I've been out for a really long time.
00:09:29I'm extremely gay.
00:09:30Oh.
00:09:30I was actually talking about track tryouts.
00:09:35Right.
00:09:36Yeah, I'm gonna see you there.
00:09:37I'm gonna, I'm gonna go on the track.
00:09:40Yeah, right.
00:09:40The last time Paige ran, she was fleeing from a bee.
00:09:43It was hilarious.
00:09:44It's on YouTube.
00:09:44I watch it whenever I'm depressed.
00:09:46No, it's not.
00:09:48Well, I should run, but maybe I'll see you later.
00:09:50Bye, Gabby.
00:09:51Hi, Gabby.
00:09:52So long.
00:09:52Vote for Dylan, babe.
00:09:54No, she's not gonna vote for you, honey.
00:09:56Stop staring without consent, please.
00:09:58It's horrifying.
00:10:00Really?
00:10:01You?
00:10:01Track tryouts?
00:10:03Yeah, that's, that's it.
00:10:05That's how we're gonna fall in love.
00:10:07I think you and Gabriella would be disgustingly cute together.
00:10:09And I think that if it were going to happen, it would have happened already.
00:10:13You can't force these things.
00:10:14Babe, I love you, but you're so wrong.
00:10:17How many copies do you guys need?
00:10:19One thousand.
00:10:19Two thousand.
00:10:20One thousand.
00:10:20Four thousand.
00:10:21Five thousand.
00:10:22Six thousand.
00:10:22Gotcha!
00:10:23Evans, I knew it was you.
00:10:25Principal's office now.
00:10:26Go.
00:10:27Oh, crap.
00:10:28I forgot my cleats.
00:10:29Can you help me?
00:10:30Turn off the light.
00:10:32Shut the door.
00:10:34Okay, actually, leave it open.
00:10:37I assume you know why you're here?
00:10:39Am I in trouble or something?
00:10:41We are so done with your games now, Evans.
00:10:43Okay, take it down, Dexter Morgan.
00:10:46You're not a detective and this is not a cop show.
00:10:48Paige, we know that you are king pun, okay?
00:10:52And it's not that the artwork isn't great.
00:10:53It's really good.
00:10:54But all the pictures and the painting all over the school last semester, and not to mention
00:10:59a new mural every week?
00:11:01That's not true.
00:11:02Oh, you know it's true.
00:11:04Sorry.
00:11:05Come on.
00:11:06The school board is not happy.
00:11:07Mm-hmm.
00:11:08And plus, all the kids are tagging you every week in some king pun art.
00:11:11God damn it, Tim.
00:11:13Tim, you guys, I swear on my life it's not me.
00:11:18But you wish you'd invest in that lie detector now, right?
00:11:21No.
00:11:22No, I actually don't.
00:11:23Why?
00:11:23And I'm really tired of you bringing it up all the time.
00:11:25Oh, she...
00:11:25Because we had to take care of something called asbestos, all right?
00:11:29Listen, I'm sorry, kiddo, but I have to lead by example, so I'm going to have to suspend
00:11:35you.
00:11:35Call the police.
00:11:35No, we are not calling the police.
00:11:37What are you, Wyclef Jean?
00:11:39Are we going to call 911?
00:11:40Do you get that reference?
00:11:41You don't.
00:11:42God, my references are, like, older than Taylor Swift at this point.
00:11:45Listen, you're suspended.
00:11:47I called your mom, and she's on her way to pick you up.
00:11:49You can't suspend me for something that I literally did not do.
00:11:53Yeah, we can.
00:11:54No, we cannot.
00:11:56But you're the only student with the keys to the art room.
00:12:00Well, I was going to give these back today.
00:12:02Oh, well, you got blood on your hands.
00:12:04It's paint.
00:12:05Obviously, I know that.
00:12:07It's a metaphor.
00:12:08Well, I'm not metaphoric.
00:12:09It's acrylic paint, and those things are spray paint.
00:12:12Let's jot down that Miss Evans seems to have an intimate understanding of the weapon of
00:12:16her choice.
00:12:16No one's jotting down anything.
00:12:18Just jotting down.
00:12:19No, don't tell me what's...
00:12:20This is my office.
00:12:21You guys, please hear me out.
00:12:22I'm applying to a summer program at Cal Arts, and this is going to ruin my chances of it
00:12:26again.
00:12:27I'm sorry, Paige, but I looked at your records, and you were absent eight times last semester.
00:12:31Not to mention, you're not even part of one extracurricular activity.
00:12:35You're not the model student I can fight for.
00:12:37I play, I play, I play track.
00:12:42Not on my team, you don't.
00:12:44Well, I just joined today.
00:12:47I'm extremely cooperative with this type of stuff, so can't this count as a plea deal or
00:12:51something?
00:12:51Oh, impressive use of legal jargon, but you don't play track, you run track.
00:12:56Hear me out.
00:12:57How about I join track, Coach Murray keeps his eye on me, and I figure out in the meantime
00:13:04who King Pun actually is.
00:13:06Paige, I really like you, I do.
00:13:09Actually, that's a lie.
00:13:09I don't even know you.
00:13:10I hate myself that I have to say that, but the evidence is stacked against you, and I
00:13:13don't understand how playing track is supposed to help your case right now.
00:13:16Actually, I need another couple of people on the track team.
00:13:19You need people on the track team?
00:13:20I need some more people.
00:13:21Are you, and you want to take her?
00:13:23She just said, play track, like she's a DJ or something.
00:13:26Showing her how to run track.
00:13:27How are you supposed to make that Usain Bolt?
00:13:29You can't.
00:13:29I could use a couple more bodies on the track.
00:13:31I am exhausted.
00:13:32Okay, Paige, you're no longer suspended.
00:13:34You are just on probation, okay?
00:13:36If you can come up with a name who you think King Pun really is, because apparently it's
00:13:40not you, by the end of the semester, then I'll take it to the board meeting.
00:13:44Well, I will deliver.
00:13:46I can't wait.
00:13:48Great, get out.
00:13:48I have a renaissance club meeting that I'm not about to miss.
00:13:51You too.
00:13:52Take your little swimming board with you.
00:13:54God.
00:13:56Oh, it's like no moment to my soul.
00:13:59I wish there was more money for federal funding, because I'll tell you what, this ain't it.
00:14:05Thank you so much.
00:14:07Don't thank me yet.
00:14:08I'm watching you.
00:14:09Oh, hey, clipboard.
00:14:11I left a patient with a full bedpan for this.
00:14:13You are not suspending my daughter.
00:14:15We're not suspending.
00:14:15She did nothing wrong.
00:14:18I made a deal.
00:14:19You have a very savvy daughter, missus.
00:14:22Missus?
00:14:23Mm-hmm.
00:14:24That's very revealing.
00:14:26It's miss, but you can call me Angie, or Ange, or hey, girl.
00:14:32You know, I am a single mother, by choice, not by circumstance.
00:14:37I like to have sex with men.
00:14:39I don't even have to have a relationship.
00:14:41Hmm?
00:14:41What do you think of that?
00:14:43Well, hey, girl, if you don't mind me saying, you have an incredible figure.
00:14:48Oh, my God.
00:14:49We are in a school, sir.
00:14:51That is so wildly inappropriate.
00:14:54I'm sorry.
00:14:55And 100% spot on.
00:14:58This is gold.
00:14:59You should see me naked.
00:15:01Well, I'd say I'm sorry that you had to drive out here for nothing, but I'd be lying if I
00:15:05said
00:15:05it wasn't nice to meet you.
00:15:07I can't believe this guy.
00:15:09And, uh, if you do come to Paige's track meet, don't be afraid to say hello.
00:15:17I'm not afraid of anything.
00:15:18It's you who should be afraid.
00:15:23Wow.
00:15:24Track?
00:15:25That's fucked up.
00:15:26Yeah, the deal just didn't work out that great for me, but it did for you, so.
00:15:30Yeah, it really did.
00:15:32Yeah.
00:15:32Yeah.
00:15:33Is he in the school directory?
00:15:42Basically, if I don't find kingpun, then my life is over.
00:15:45But on the plus side, you totally fit in here.
00:15:48I feel like I look like a very specific type of gay right now.
00:15:52Do I at least look like a top?
00:15:54Total bottom.
00:15:55Maybe a power bottom.
00:15:56Like, you call her daddy and she calls you her sweet little prince.
00:16:01Okay, listen up.
00:16:04Come on, come on in here.
00:16:06Let's go.
00:16:07Gather round.
00:16:08Listen up.
00:16:09Returning athletes.
00:16:11I'm going to be looking to make sure that you kept your training up during the offseason.
00:16:15All right?
00:16:16Now, you newcomers, our co-captains, AJ and Gabby here, will be helping place you in an event.
00:16:25All right.
00:16:26Got this.
00:16:26For, uh, Evans over there, just try to find the thing that she sucks at the least.
00:16:32All right?
00:16:33Don't you want to at least see me try out before you think that I suck?
00:16:36No.
00:16:37Okay.
00:16:38Back to it.
00:16:39Let's go.
00:16:39Let's go.
00:16:41Come on.
00:16:41She's coming.
00:16:42She's coming.
00:16:42Hey, you made it.
00:16:43I'll be sure to let you know if I see any angry bees around.
00:16:47Did you know that male bees lose their penises when they have sex with a queen bee?
00:16:53Uh, no, we didn't.
00:16:55But now we sure do, right?
00:16:57Yeah.
00:16:58Yeah, we should get started.
00:17:00Don't worry.
00:17:01You're going to be great.
00:17:04Thanks.
00:17:05Thanks.
00:17:05Thanks.
00:17:06Thanks.
00:17:27Thanks.
00:17:37Thanks.
00:17:39Thanks.
00:17:51Ow!
00:17:52Shit!
00:17:54You fucking can't be.
00:18:00Ow!
00:18:02Ow!
00:18:03You good?
00:18:04Thanks.
00:18:05Oh!
00:18:06Oh!
00:18:06Oh!
00:18:08Oh!
00:18:08Oh!
00:18:17No!
00:18:20I have an idea.
00:18:21How do you feel about running in a straight line?
00:18:23That's the only straight thing I can do.
00:18:27Okay.
00:18:29I regretted it the second I left my mouth.
00:18:33You mean out here into the 4x1?
00:18:35Do you have a better idea?
00:18:36Yeah.
00:18:37All right.
00:18:38Here we go.
00:18:40March.
00:18:41Get set.
00:18:42No.
00:18:43No doubt.
00:18:44Ain't fun.
00:18:45Let's get it.
00:18:45Go!
00:18:46Come on!
00:18:47Come on, baby!
00:18:48Come on!
00:18:48I feel alive.
00:18:54Look at you.
00:18:58Woo!
00:19:17I am the fastest woman alive.
00:19:19That was mediocre at best.
00:19:21Yeah, I took an Instagram story and went over the time limit.
00:19:23Damn.
00:19:24But you did it.
00:19:25With a little work, maybe you could be fine.
00:19:26She's four seconds behind where she needs to be.
00:19:29Well, maybe I need someone great to teach me after school.
00:19:33All right.
00:19:34That's a terrible idea.
00:19:36Uh, AJ.
00:19:37You're gonna train Paige.
00:19:39Okay?
00:19:40Isn't that literally your job as coach?
00:19:42No.
00:19:42My job as coach is to motivate through fear.
00:19:45Besides, I don't get paid enough to stay after school.
00:19:48Come on!
00:19:49I'm watching you, Evans.
00:19:50Welcome to the team.
00:19:51All right, King Pine.
00:19:53I'm not King Pine.
00:19:54Your shorts are on backwards.
00:19:55What?
00:20:01Can you hurry up, Angie?
00:20:02I'm starving.
00:20:03You're not the boss anymore.
00:20:04You knew we were gonna be home.
00:20:06Why was it for food rain?
00:20:07Today was great.
00:20:08I almost killed somebody with a javelin.
00:20:11It's true.
00:20:12And then it was nearly death by hurdle.
00:20:14Also very true.
00:20:15And I embarrassed myself in front of Gabriella.
00:20:18Just because Paige's sex life was in a drought
00:20:20doesn't mean the rest of the world has to be.
00:20:22Come on, Angie. We've talked about this.
00:20:23So strict.
00:20:24Sometimes I think fondly back onto this morning
00:20:26when my life was completely normal.
00:20:28Now I have to solve a mystery,
00:20:30make Gabby fall in love with me,
00:20:32figure out how to make the perfect thing for CalArts,
00:20:34and figure out how to put a tampon in
00:20:37without the end always sticking out a little bit.
00:20:39Yeah, you know, I never mastered that either.
00:20:41Oh, but you know what?
00:20:42On the bright side,
00:20:43true artists are never afraid
00:20:45to step out of their comfort zones.
00:20:46And speaking of stepping out of your comfort zones,
00:20:49are you going to Stacy's party on Friday?
00:20:52What party?
00:20:52Are you kidding me?
00:20:54Paige, I've told you this a billion times.
00:20:56It'd be like a good opportunity for you
00:20:57to act like a normal teenager for once.
00:20:59She doesn't want to be normal.
00:21:00Nobody wants to be normal.
00:21:01That's why I'm cool.
00:21:03All right, let me tell you a little story.
00:21:05When I was a teenager,
00:21:07I went to this rager,
00:21:08and I ended up in the back of a van
00:21:09with the lead singer of an Aerosmith cover band.
00:21:12And in retrospect,
00:21:14I definitely should have held out for the real thing.
00:21:17I mean, think about it.
00:21:18Steven Tyler,
00:21:19I would have never had to buy another scarf.
00:21:22Dylan, I totally wasn't thinking this party
00:21:24is the perfect place to investigate.
00:21:26King Pond will definitely be going,
00:21:28and well, let's just say that they will rue the day
00:21:31that they let me take the fall for them.
00:21:32I know that's right.
00:21:36Okay.
00:21:37I'm gonna need you to relax.
00:21:38You're starting to scare me.
00:21:40Oh, my God, I totally forgot.
00:21:43Pardon me.
00:21:45Paige, I took the liberty of washing your sex toy.
00:21:48By the way, this is very small.
00:21:50It could totally get lost up there,
00:21:52so you might want to think about, you know, moving on up.
00:21:55I can help.
00:21:55Well, that's an eraser, so that's not gonna go up there.
00:21:59Anything's possible.
00:22:01Think about me and my electric toothbrush,
00:22:03and it's not the end you would think, either.
00:22:06Okay.
00:22:06Well, we don't have everything in common,
00:22:09and I'm gonna go to my room.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:11I'm gonna throw up.
00:22:12That's really disgusting.
00:22:14No, you're disgusting.
00:22:15This is a sex-positive house, Paige.
00:22:18Shame does not live here.
00:22:29You look so beautiful.
00:22:33Paige, I cannot believe we finally got you to a high school party.
00:22:36Now, let's see if you survive it.
00:22:50Welcome to the high school experience.
00:22:52It smells better than I expected.
00:22:54I like candles.
00:22:56First order of business, time to get you drunk.
00:22:59Like, if you don't throw up by the end of the night,
00:23:00then I didn't get my job.
00:23:02I still can't believe this is the first of my parties you've been to, Paige.
00:23:05That's because Paige Evans is too cool for high school parties.
00:23:08Cool is one word for it.
00:23:09I just have a general distaste for sticky floors,
00:23:12communal chip bowls, and whatever that is.
00:23:15That, my friend, is the type of sociological research
00:23:17you can't find in any textbook.
00:23:19He's right.
00:23:20My future constituents may act like you're moronic,
00:23:22but they know how to have fun.
00:23:25Your future constituents, huh?
00:23:27Oh, please.
00:23:27You know I'm gonna kick your ass.
00:23:29There's no way they won't vote for my anti-authority platform.
00:23:31It's like taking candy from a politically-informed baby.
00:23:34You wanna go upstairs and practice your campaign speech?
00:23:36You work on our inflection.
00:23:38You wanna show me those pointed hand-movers?
00:23:39Why do you guys even bother with the innuendo?
00:23:44Later, Paige.
00:23:45Oh, yeah, guys, just leave me alone
00:23:48while I try and figure out who framed me.
00:23:50Oh!
00:23:51Paige.
00:23:51Oh, my God.
00:23:52Hi.
00:23:53I didn't see you there.
00:23:54Must be the masking spell.
00:23:55What?
00:23:55How have you been?
00:23:56Feeling any different lately?
00:23:57Any lustful urges?
00:23:58Deep magnetic pulls?
00:24:00Anything?
00:24:01Anyone?
00:24:01A.J.
00:24:02There you are.
00:24:04Hi.
00:24:05We should go talk about track.
00:24:07I don't think so.
00:24:08Did virgin blood expire?
00:24:09That can't be.
00:24:10That was fresh.
00:24:10Okay, yeah, we can talk about track.
00:24:12Unless you get stronger with age.
00:24:13Like fine wine.
00:24:15Hi.
00:24:21Okay, I wasn't gonna get all Salem witch trials
00:24:23and point fingers here,
00:24:24but I know that she put a curse on me.
00:24:26I mean, she did steal some of my hair back in freshman year,
00:24:29so I believe it.
00:24:36It's a track.
00:24:38Why?
00:24:38I thought you were more interested in art.
00:24:40Oh, trust me, I am.
00:24:41But, lucky for me, Principal Collins decided that I'm King Pun,
00:24:46so I have to figure out who King Pun is,
00:24:48otherwise I'm going to get suspended.
00:24:50That's so dumb.
00:24:52Yeah.
00:24:53That art is harmless.
00:24:54I know.
00:24:54It's also pretty good.
00:24:56Do you have any leads?
00:24:57I know that they're here.
00:24:59Thoughts about it?
00:24:59I'm just gonna poke around until somebody cracks?
00:25:04So, you're gonna interrogate a bunch of drunk teens.
00:25:07Seems pretty easy.
00:25:10Well, you say that, but it could be anybody.
00:25:13Could be you.
00:25:15Do I look whimsical enough for puns?
00:25:18Okay.
00:25:19Well, you do have an intimidating,
00:25:22no bullshit, striped shirt vibe going,
00:25:26so I guess not.
00:25:28Which would make you the perfect bad cop to my good cop.
00:25:34Excuse me?
00:25:36Follow me.
00:25:38Oh.
00:25:42Hi, Erin.
00:25:44Hi.
00:25:44Where were you at 6 a.m. on the morning of the 14th?
00:25:48We get Tybalt groomed on Sundays.
00:25:50Tybalt.
00:25:50My horse.
00:25:51Do you want to see a photo?
00:25:54Oh, my phone is dead.
00:25:55Yeah, no, no, never mind.
00:26:00How close is the nearest Michael's art supply from your house?
00:26:03Who's Michael?
00:26:04Can I have a head?
00:26:05Me too.
00:26:06You have a secret Instagram, right?
00:26:08Yeah, but you can't afford to follow it.
00:26:11Sorry.
00:26:11Can you guys shine your lights on me?
00:26:13All right, man.
00:26:13You ready?
00:26:19Kim.
00:26:21What do you think of kingpun?
00:26:22Oh, pay it to you?
00:26:23Aren't your parents both artists, Tim?
00:26:25Isn't your mom a nurse?
00:26:26Your point?
00:26:27I haven't seen you save anyone's life.
00:26:29It's kind of going to work.
00:26:30You're supposed to be on my side.
00:26:31Right.
00:26:32Chantal!
00:26:34Would you consider yourself an artist?
00:26:35I mean, every witch is an artist in their own way.
00:26:39But, I mean, yeah.
00:26:40I post to Tumblr all the time.
00:26:41That's mostly just, like, Buffy, Faith,
00:26:43the brothers in Supernatural 69-ing.
00:26:45So, normal.
00:26:46Well, what art tools do you use?
00:26:48I mean, I kind of dabble in everything.
00:26:50Illustrator, oil paints, menstrual blood.
00:26:53Oh.
00:26:53Oh, no.
00:26:54Yeah, okay.
00:26:54Bye.
00:26:57Good political.
00:26:58Can I go into the political?
00:27:00Oh, yeah.
00:27:01You want to know what this is?
00:27:01Oh, my fucking god.
00:27:03What the fuck?
00:27:04Oh!
00:27:04Hey, Paige.
00:27:06Bad things as possible.
00:27:07Cover me with these eyes.
00:27:08She doesn't deserve to see this.
00:27:09No, no, no.
00:27:10Come on.
00:27:11It's easy.
00:27:12Bye.
00:27:14Her house is huge.
00:27:17It just keeps going, I know.
00:27:18They're probably fucking every room.
00:27:20Those two are disturbingly cute
00:27:23in a kind of kinky way.
00:27:25Yeah.
00:27:26Yeah.
00:27:27I can't believe Chantal is our best lead right now.
00:27:30I mean, it kind of makes sense.
00:27:31I've seen her drawing in class every time.
00:27:33What?
00:27:33Really?
00:27:35Paige!
00:27:35AJ!
00:27:45Oh, my God.
00:27:46We need to take shots, like right now.
00:27:47For Paige joining the track theme.
00:27:49Yeah, go ahead.
00:27:50I'm gonna pee.
00:27:51Okay.
00:27:52Okay.
00:27:53Let's go.
00:27:53Okay.
00:27:57There she is.
00:27:58Okay.
00:28:04Oh!
00:28:05Oh!
00:28:05Oh!
00:28:07To joining track.
00:28:09To sports.
00:28:12But our mouths taste the same right now.
00:28:14What?
00:28:15I just got something stuck in my throat.
00:28:16Another child will fix that.
00:28:18Yeah.
00:28:18He always does.
00:28:43Oh my gosh.
00:28:45I'm so wasted.
00:28:47Oh my god, I'm so glad that you joined track. I feel like I never see you outside of class.
00:28:52I know
00:28:54You're a Gemini, right? I'm a Pisces. Who says that complicated can't work? What? I said I love track
00:29:13Are we at the sad Trump phase in the night, huh?
00:29:19You want to go home? You'll be better. Yes. Your drunk guest has a training with each of them. Oh
00:29:29Mr.. President
00:29:31Wow, thank you so much for calling us. You're welcome. Okay, let's go
00:29:36I'm ordering a car. Bye-bye cop. Bye. I'll see you tomorrow. Drink some Gatorade
00:29:48Tim I see what you're doing
00:29:55Who doesn't like boots?
00:30:01Whoo
00:30:02You're so strong
00:30:07I am strong
00:30:08You look so strong
00:30:10Whoa whoa
00:30:11Hold on, our ride is here
00:30:20You made it
00:30:21Yep
00:30:23Okay, let's make me an Olympian
00:30:28How are you not massively hungover right now?
00:30:30Well, I drank that Gatorade that you suggested and then I had a hot pocket and then I had some
00:30:35pizza and then I had some ice cream
00:30:37Also, I might still be drunk
00:30:40Is that coffee? Did you bring any water?
00:30:45Hmm, okay
00:30:46If this mentor prodigy thing is going to work out then you have to respect my caffeinated process
00:30:52You said anything about being a mentor only doing this you don't tanker ranking
00:30:56Oh, I'm sorry. Am I cutting into your brooding and corners wearing a leather jacket, Diane?
00:31:02I don't own a leather jacket
00:31:03Well, you look like you could
00:31:05Okay
00:31:06So what are we doing first? Picking out my pump up song?
00:31:09No, but you can stretch and then we can start on three miles
00:31:12Three miles
00:31:14That is 2.9 more miles than they said I have to run
00:31:172.94 miles, you're confusing miles and meters
00:31:20I think you're confusing me with the metric system
00:31:24Let's go Evans
00:31:27Put down your stuff
00:31:46Oh my god
00:31:50Oh my god
00:31:52I can't feel anything
00:31:54I can't feel my legs
00:31:56I can't feel my face
00:31:59You're being a little dramatic
00:32:00It's the artist in me
00:32:04Speaking of
00:32:06You want to go to art school?
00:32:09Yeah
00:32:10Now that's like my biggest dream
00:32:14But now that the pressure's on and I have to send in my summer app, I have no idea what
00:32:18to send in
00:32:19Have you started it yet?
00:32:23Since you asked
00:32:28I've been working on a few different things
00:32:32But none of it feels right to me
00:32:36Shit, you're really good
00:32:38Thank you
00:32:41Now I just have to make CalArts see that
00:32:44Pretend you're CalArts
00:32:45Tell me what's missing
00:32:47Uh
00:32:49Nothing
00:32:50I think it's really great
00:32:53You're a really bad liar
00:32:55No, I just
00:32:56Come on
00:32:57Tell me the truth
00:32:59I don't know
00:33:00I'm
00:33:00I mean, I'm not an expert by any means
00:33:02But maybe
00:33:04It's just
00:33:05It is lacking
00:33:07Some
00:33:08Emotion
00:33:09Okay
00:33:10I wasn't expecting constructive criticism but
00:33:13All right
00:33:13I knew that was a trap
00:33:15Look, your art is amazing
00:33:16Seriously
00:33:17What was the prompt again?
00:33:19Show us your happiest moment
00:33:21Right, okay
00:33:21So do you think that that shows that or
00:33:25Is there anything that is maybe happier?
00:33:28I had a really yummy donut the other day
00:33:33Uh, what about a
00:33:35A first love or
00:33:37A first kiss or something
00:33:39Uh, well I haven't had those things
00:33:41So you're really pouring salt on the wound here AJ
00:33:44All I'm saying
00:33:46Is that you'll get there
00:33:48Just don't be afraid to draw something a little more vulnerable
00:33:56Look
00:33:57I just posted something
00:33:59Guess that would rule you out
00:34:01At least it's not on school property this time
00:34:03Well, it's a little late for that kingpine
00:34:07Let's go Frida Kahlo
00:34:08We've got to get you to a point where you can run without wanting to puke
00:34:12Might give me an edge
00:34:14Doubt it
00:34:15Did you know that Frida Kahlo was bi?
00:34:18Why?
00:34:19She was the OG bi con
00:34:22Oh, nice
00:34:25Got jokes for days, AJ
00:34:27Yay
00:34:41Come on, come on, come on, you got it
00:34:44I'll walk around with my confidence on the million
00:34:47Come on, come on, come on, come on
00:34:47Don't let it bother me when the people be trippin'
00:34:50I'ma have a good day
00:34:53You need somebody that truly understand you
00:34:56I'm on your tie, we together, I'm never playing you
00:35:00It be the one trying to help that can't stand you
00:35:03But have a good day
00:35:06I do me every day, I don't live for others
00:35:09Proud of who I am, so I'm never under the cover
00:35:12I ran with it, ain't look back, now I got big cracks in a book bag
00:35:15Smile at it when they look sad, like too short so don't grow fast
00:35:18They hate on me, throw shade on me, when it's time to drop, they wait on me
00:35:22A lot of people had changed on me, don't shit change, but the day, homie
00:35:25Shit changed, but the next move, they know I really ball like the Nets do
00:35:28All I hate is them heads do, got them in their feelings like the Lens do
00:35:31And I don't trip, cause the hate be motivation
00:35:34I make the best out of every situation
00:35:37I be too real, I be no one when they be fakin'
00:35:41But this is real, me and my people made it
00:35:44You need somebody to ask you, yo, how you feelin'
00:35:47I walk around with my confidence on the mend
00:35:49Come on, come on, Stacey, come on
00:35:50Don't let it bother me when it be cool trickin'
00:35:53I might have a good day
00:35:55Come on, AJ, you got that
00:35:56You need somebody to actually understand you
00:35:59I know how we together, I'm not okay
00:36:03You got it, you got it, you got it
00:36:08Yeah Yeah, go, go go go
00:36:13Yes
00:36:22Go go, okay, all right
00:36:28All right
00:36:31I was gonna get my entire coaching around tried to say this, but
00:36:34You're actually getting pretty good
00:36:37I knew you were using a tough love approach with me.
00:36:39I know. Who do I think I am? My dad?
00:36:44That was a lot funnier in my head.
00:36:47It's okay, dude. I'm no stranger to dark dad humor.
00:36:52Is he tough on you?
00:36:55He just sees so much potential in me, I guess I don't want to let him down.
00:36:58He wants me to get a scholarship to D1 school.
00:37:01I think that's why I'm so stressed about doing well.
00:37:05If I don't want to talk about my dad, I'll save that one for a future therapy session.
00:37:09Speaking of psychoanalyzing, I think that you were right about my art.
00:37:13I think I do play it safe. I get it.
00:37:17But I'm not going to let you forget that you said I was good.
00:37:20Compliment from the mysterious AJ conference.
00:37:23Don't make me regret it, Evans.
00:37:28You want to try?
00:37:30Can you play track with the broken leg?
00:37:32Don't worry, I'll spot you.
00:37:38Oh, shit.
00:37:39Okay, bend your knees.
00:37:59Hold up.
00:38:02What?
00:38:04I think that this is King Pun's notebook.
00:38:06What?
00:38:06How do you know?
00:38:08Look, dude.
00:38:09It's totally in their style and it has KP written all over it.
00:38:12Oh, yeah, that would do it.
00:38:13Maybe it's somebody on track.
00:38:15Well, that would rule out Chantal.
00:38:17It's never her.
00:38:18Cute puns are not her vibe now that I think of it.
00:38:22This is exactly how I'm going to get a nail King Pun.
00:38:25Huh.
00:38:27I'm going to DM them and tell them that I have their notebook.
00:38:30There's tons of half-baked ideas in here.
00:38:32It's not like they're going to want to leave it behind.
00:38:35So what?
00:38:36You're just going to give it back to them without figuring out who it is?
00:38:39AJ.
00:38:39Are you kidding me?
00:38:43We're going to have a motherfucking stakeout.
00:38:46No.
00:38:47No.
00:38:52Hold on.
00:38:54It's almost 8pm and King Pun left me on red so I know that they saw it.
00:38:59Wow.
00:38:59Your detection skills are on point.
00:39:02We should split up.
00:39:03Cover more ground.
00:39:04Oh, God.
00:39:05Your efficiency is hot.
00:39:07You're hot.
00:39:07Help, help, help, help, help, help.
00:39:08You know the gate's open, right?
00:39:10Oh, God.
00:39:12Hey.
00:39:12Are you okay?
00:39:13I'm the only one.
00:39:14Do you need help?
00:39:14Are you good?
00:39:15Ow.
00:39:16This girl's going to be the death of me.
00:39:26Hey.
00:39:27Hey.
00:39:28Wanna take the north side?
00:39:30Yeah, sure.
00:39:32Ugh.
00:39:33They do know that's the south east side, right?
00:39:36No, but it is so hot that you do.
00:39:38You're so hot.
00:39:39You are so hot.
00:39:40You are.
00:39:41We are.
00:39:41We are.
00:39:42We are.
00:39:42We are.
00:39:44Oh, I'm glad you have each other.
00:39:50Hello?
00:39:52Oh, shit.
00:39:53Sorry.
00:39:53Sorry.
00:39:57Ooh.
00:39:58I know I'd like you to grab my ass.
00:40:01Well, on the upside, if you can't find King Pun, it's kind of like a cool badge of honor
00:40:06to get suspended.
00:40:08But you usually go for people who get suspended.
00:40:12Um, I don't really have a type.
00:40:14It's more of just a vibe.
00:40:16So your vibe is Aya then, huh?
00:40:19Well, actually, we just broke up.
00:40:22Oh, really?
00:40:23It sucks.
00:40:24Sorry.
00:40:27Are you over then?
00:40:28Depends, Paige.
00:40:29Who's asking?
00:40:30Not me.
00:40:31I don't care.
00:40:32Ouch!
00:40:36I care.
00:40:37I care.
00:40:38I just was trying to be nice and ask you questions.
00:40:43So.
00:40:43I'm not that good at that, though.
00:40:45Well, your questions are cute, so.
00:40:49Do you remember in fifth grade when we were partnered up to take care of that egg together
00:40:54in Miss Higgins' class?
00:40:56Oh, yeah.
00:40:57I'm pretty sure I dropped mine on the first day and begged my mom to replace it for me.
00:41:01Geez, I totally forgot your white partner for that.
00:41:03Damn.
00:41:04I was a shitty mom.
00:41:05Well, if it's any consolation, I gave our egg a bath and I boiled it to death.
00:41:11So, guess I wasn't a perfect mom either.
00:41:15Oh!
00:41:16Hi!
00:41:16It's gotta be combined.
00:41:18Aren't we supposed to be confronting?
00:41:19Yes.
00:41:20I'm just not good at confrontation.
00:41:21Clearly.
00:41:27Kind of weird that we've co-parented and never kissed before, huh?
00:41:31Yeah.
00:41:31It's a little bit strange.
00:41:33Well, maybe we should try it.
00:41:35We could try it.
00:41:40You can lean in now.
00:41:42Yeah.
00:41:43Right now.
00:41:46Hey!
00:41:46Yo! Stop!
00:41:48Yo!
00:41:49I cannot believe that your stupid stakeout idea might have actually worked, but that was definitely Tim's car.
00:41:54How do you know?
00:41:54Who else drives a bright green challenger with a bumper sticker that reads, your mom calls me daddy?
00:41:59Fucking Tim.
00:42:00Mm-hmm.
00:42:03Uh, hold on. I have to take this.
00:42:06So, do you think you cracked the case?
00:42:09Yeah.
00:42:10I guess so.
00:42:17Paige, let's go. We're gonna be late.
00:42:20Are you seriously not packed for our way meat yet?
00:42:22I started.
00:42:25Dylan, I need to tell you something.
00:42:27What? What happened?
00:42:28Don't make it a big deal, okay?
00:42:30What happened?
00:42:31Did you find another one of your mom's special movies?
00:42:35Gabby and I kissed.
00:42:37I'm sorry, what?
00:42:38I know.
00:42:40Wait, Gabriela Campos kissed you?
00:42:43Okay, screw packing. Tell me exactly what happened.
00:42:46I don't know. It kind of just happened at the stakeout. It was really weird, actually.
00:42:51What do you mean weird? You've been waiting for this, like, literally your entire life. You're obsessed with her.
00:42:55Well, it was very anticlimactic.
00:42:57Was it about kiss? Is that her fatal flaw? Did she have an Achilles tongue?
00:43:02Maybe it wasn't her. It was probably me.
00:43:04That makes more sense. She's kissed a lot of people. Yeah.
00:43:07Shit. I haven't kissed anyone. I don't know how to kiss.
00:43:09Yeah, you're probably a terrible kisser.
00:43:10You need to teach me.
00:43:11No.
00:43:12Teach me.
00:43:12Are you seriously trying to kiss me right now?
00:43:15Just kiss me, please.
00:43:16No means no, Paige. Come on. You're not a man.
00:43:19Why are you so dressed up? It's a structured blazer. Everybody quit tripping. Come on, let's go.
00:43:26Did you pack us the food?
00:43:30I can't believe I'm such a bad kisser.
00:43:33Oh, no, no, no, no. Bad kisser? That is impossible. Not possible.
00:43:38The Evans women are legendary kissers. Your grandmother won the Frenching contest three years running.
00:43:44Oh, my God.
00:43:45I play second. What?
00:43:46I've told you about this. I tied with your great aunt Janine. Oh, my God. She is a maniac.
00:43:51Well, I guess a promiscuous Jean skips a generation.
00:43:54That's what they say.
00:43:55Do you think maybe it's not the kiss, it's the person?
00:43:58Oh.
00:43:58What does that mean?
00:43:59Maybe you were let down by the kiss because your crushes run its course.
00:44:02But I've liked Gabby forever.
00:44:05I think that maybe there are other people out there.
00:44:06Yeah.
00:44:07Like who?
00:44:09Hi, Mrs. Evans.
00:44:10Miss.
00:44:11Sorry.
00:44:11Hey, AJ.
00:44:12AJ.
00:44:13Wow.
00:44:14Finally, we meet after hearing about you 24-7 from this one.
00:44:18She's being sarcastic.
00:44:19I mean, the word constantly springs to mind.
00:44:21Um, what are you going to do now that the anticipation artist is out of the house?
00:44:24Oh, man.
00:44:25So many possibilities.
00:44:27I mean, the sky's the limit, right?
00:44:28I'm not going to crumble.
00:44:29That's the one thing I'm not going to do.
00:44:31We're gone for a night.
00:44:31I know.
00:44:32Well, it doesn't matter.
00:44:33I'm not going to crumble.
00:44:35So...
00:44:35Hey, AJ.
00:44:36Um, do me a favor and try to get old Paige here to loosen up a little bit, okay?
00:44:41You know, like, fire up a bong and knock back a couple of wine coolers.
00:44:46Oh, my God.
00:44:46I have poppers in the car.
00:44:48Should I run grab?
00:44:49No.
00:44:49That's the wrong type of gay.
00:44:51Well, hello there.
00:44:52Long time no see.
00:44:54A little delayed gratification never hurt anyone, okay?
00:44:58Oh, you're making me wait.
00:45:00They call it edging these days.
00:45:02I looked it up on Wikipedia, and the definition is quite rank.
00:45:06I don't know the meaning of rank, but I believe you.
00:45:09It means filthy dirty.
00:45:11Well, I'm going to just get your number off the emergency contact list.
00:45:15Okay, I've had your number for, like, I don't know how many days.
00:45:18Oh.
00:45:18Go with the program, okay?
00:45:20I mean, text me like I'm not getting any younger.
00:45:22Come on.
00:45:25Let's go!
00:45:26I'm not hearing your room here, sir.
00:45:28The white hours start at 11.
00:45:30Just so we're keeping on it.
00:45:40Okay, listen up, hormonal teens.
00:45:43Now, on this list is the name of your roommate.
00:45:46I know that 60% of you are queer, but guys, don't go in the girls' room.
00:45:52And girls, please, don't go in the guys' room.
00:45:55We don't want anybody getting pregnant.
00:45:56And I'm talking specifically to you, Stacy and Dylan.
00:45:59What?
00:46:00Never.
00:46:01One, as I made it clear on my campaign trail, I will not be allowing the administration to control what
00:46:05I do with my body.
00:46:06Two, obviously, I'm on birth control.
00:46:08Well, I'm on teen control, and I want lights out by 9 p.m.
00:46:12I have a FaceTime date with a very lovely lady.
00:46:17I don't want to be interrupted.
00:46:19And, Paige, no graffiti.
00:46:20Your new stepdad.
00:46:21Ugh.
00:46:23Hey.
00:46:24Hi.
00:46:25We should talk.
00:46:27Hey.
00:46:27Guess we're rooming together.
00:46:28Can't get rid of you.
00:46:30Um, I'm gonna go find out who my roommate is, but I'll see you later.
00:46:35Did you know that squirrels remember every single person they've ever seen?
00:46:40What?
00:46:40They have photographic memories.
00:46:43Mm-hmm.
00:46:43Uh, I look forward to hearing more animal facts tonight.
00:46:46Well, good, cause there's a plenty.
00:46:48Guys, team party in my room, 9.30.
00:46:51Be there.
00:46:51No, you guys heard coach.
00:46:52We can't do that.
00:46:53Oh, no.
00:46:55Yeah, we definitely can't do that.
00:46:56Especially since our track meet starts at 2 p.m., right?
00:46:59Looks like we're getting fucked up tonight.
00:47:01Oh, Paige, you're so innocent.
00:47:07Okay.
00:47:08This one is either whiskey or rum.
00:47:11Then we've got peach vodka.
00:47:13We've got lemon vodka.
00:47:15Two white bar fluid?
00:47:16More vodka.
00:47:17And we got mouthwashed, but you just gotta drink a lot of it to get fucked up.
00:47:21Mmm, that looks the least risky.
00:47:23Is that all you could get from your parents?
00:47:25Yeah.
00:47:25Look, my beard is coming in, so it's only a matter of time before I stop getting hurted.
00:47:29Oh, yeah, for sure.
00:47:31Yo, Tim!
00:47:31Hey!
00:47:32Oh, there he is.
00:47:35You know you actually have to confront Tim about being King Pun to accuse him, right?
00:47:38I've been working up to it.
00:47:41She really scares me sometimes.
00:47:43Tim, I know you're King Pun.
00:47:44I have your notebook.
00:47:46What?
00:47:46I saw you after school the other night, okay?
00:47:49What were you doing there if not to get your notebook?
00:47:52Okay, okay, okay.
00:47:54I'll tell you.
00:47:55I'm in Renaissance Club.
00:47:57Come again?
00:47:58I'm in Renaissance Club.
00:48:00I'm a Rennie, if you will.
00:48:02Oh, my God.
00:48:03We were having our monthly feast, and when I got to school, it was canceled.
00:48:09I don't believe you.
00:48:10Are you serious?
00:48:12Look.
00:48:16Wow.
00:48:17Okay, everyone, gather around.
00:48:20It is game time.
00:48:22I get to play some games.
00:48:24Still got a lot of questions for you.
00:48:27I got a lot of answers.
00:48:29A lot of questions.
00:48:33Hey.
00:48:34Hey.
00:48:35Perfect timing.
00:48:36We're about to play seven minutes.
00:48:38What?
00:48:39Like seven minutes in heaven?
00:48:41No.
00:48:42That perpetuates a Christian narrative.
00:48:44We're playing seven minutes in the hotel bathroom, and it's a track tradition.
00:48:47Okay, everyone?
00:48:48Phone's in.
00:48:49Pride at the door.
00:48:51For any new additions, the rules are simple.
00:48:53You put your phone in the bag, and if your phone gets picked, you have to go into the bathroom
00:48:57with another person.
00:48:58And since this is 2022, we will not force anyone to make out if you don't want to.
00:49:02But I will say seven minutes is such a long time to be in a bathroom with someone and not
00:49:05make out.
00:49:05Just saying, Paige.
00:49:07All right.
00:49:08Everyone's phones are in.
00:49:10All right.
00:49:10First phone, please.
00:49:16Woo!
00:49:19Woo!
00:49:25Woo!
00:49:33Woo!
00:49:36Woo!
00:49:37Woo!
00:49:39Woo!
00:49:42Oh, Paige, I believe this questionable phone case
00:49:47belongs to you.
00:49:48Oh, no.
00:49:50Now let's see.
00:49:55Whose case is this?
00:49:56That's mine.
00:50:00What's your background?
00:50:01Tessa Thompson is Valkyrie.
00:50:05AJ, it's you.
00:50:06Come on, get in there.
00:50:08Come on, let's go.
00:50:10You two don't.
00:50:11Rule or rule.
00:50:12We don't make the rules.
00:50:13We just make the rules.
00:50:14Have fun.
00:50:16Use the dental dams.
00:50:23Oh, I got one.
00:50:26Did you know that pandas fake their pregnancies to get extra food?
00:50:33Oh, wow.
00:50:35Another random animal fact.
00:50:37So soon?
00:50:37What?
00:50:38I know.
00:50:39I'm just nervous.
00:50:41Don't you kind of know me by now?
00:50:43Yeah, I kind of do.
00:50:46Okay, let me think of a random animal fact while you get yourself together.
00:50:54Psst.
00:50:56You could also just tell me something real.
00:51:02Yeah.
00:51:03Okay.
00:51:04Yeah.
00:51:12I'm terrified of flying.
00:51:15Is that all you're giving me?
00:51:16Yes.
00:51:17Well, I don't, I just, I don't think that humans are meant to sit in chairs in the sky, you
00:51:24know?
00:51:24Like, like that's messed up if you think about it.
00:51:26Damn.
00:51:28We are bad at the small talk thing.
00:51:32I tried.
00:51:33But at least it's better than us awkwardly making out.
00:51:36Yeah.
00:51:37I mean, what, can you imagine what suddenly we're hardcore making out?
00:51:41Mmm, that just sounds.
00:51:43Come on.
00:51:44Really crazy.
00:51:45It would be hilarious.
00:51:46It would be just super funny.
00:51:50Yeah.
00:51:50Funny.
00:51:51Like, this being my first kiss.
00:51:54Very funny.
00:51:59I know everyone makes assumptions about me.
00:52:02The mysterious AJ Campos, brooding leather jacket type.
00:52:08But, um, no, I'll never kiss anyone.
00:52:12Ever.
00:52:14I guess we have that lack of experience in common.
00:52:18Yeah.
00:52:22Well, why haven't you?
00:52:23I mean, I'm sure that, you know, people probably want to.
00:52:27I'm not opposed to it.
00:52:29I'm not opposed to it either.
00:52:32Kissing someone?
00:52:34Kissing you.
00:52:36Oh.
00:52:51Do you have enough room?
00:52:51Do you have enough room?
00:52:52Huh.
00:52:54We're being weird about this.
00:52:56Yeah.
00:52:58And this really does not have to be weird.
00:53:00No.
00:53:02Doesn't.
00:53:11I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep.
00:53:13Like, my mind is racing from this whole cowards thing.
00:53:16Like, you're really lucky your mom is so supportive of you being gay.
00:53:20No, I was going to say an artist.
00:53:22Oh.
00:53:24Yeah.
00:53:25I feel like I would never pursue something like that.
00:53:28Because of your parents.
00:53:30Like, to them.
00:53:34Everything artistic is a risk.
00:53:37Which, I guess I get.
00:53:41What did they say when you came out?
00:53:44When I told my mom I was bi, she didn't really say anything.
00:53:49But when Gabby came out, she made it pretty impossible to ignore.
00:53:54She did it at her 14th birthday party.
00:53:56Like, at the party.
00:53:58Oh, wow.
00:53:59Yeah.
00:54:00I think my abuela was going to puke.
00:54:04Is it hard having a twin?
00:54:08I mean, I love her.
00:54:10And we have this really special, cool bond.
00:54:14But Gabby's also painfully charming and everyone's obsessed with her.
00:54:22It's just an impossible comparison to live up to, you know?
00:54:29That was a lot.
00:54:31I don't know why I told you all that.
00:54:32It wasn't a lot.
00:54:34I'm glad you told me.
00:54:36But what about you?
00:54:39Is it hard growing up with just your mom?
00:54:43Sometimes, but...
00:54:44Not really.
00:54:47I just love her so much.
00:54:51She's like my best friend.
00:54:53Don't tell her that though, she wants it too much.
00:54:58One day she just decided she wanted a kid.
00:55:01So she got some sperm and she did it herself.
00:55:06That's pretty badass.
00:55:10Now I know where you get your confidence from.
00:55:13What are you talking about?
00:55:16You're the one who has the whole quiet, confident thing going on.
00:55:21Nobody ever knows what you're thinking.
00:55:24Including me.
00:55:26Hey...
00:55:27Hey...
00:55:29I'm working on it.
00:55:31I'm working on it.
00:55:58We should, yeah, you're right, we should probably get some sleep.
00:56:01Yeah.
00:56:02Yeah.
00:56:09Okay.
00:56:24Good night, Paige.
00:56:27Good night, AJ.
00:56:31The morning sun shines on your skin.
00:56:38Cause your white curtains, they are paper thin.
00:56:45Windows open, I can feel the breeze.
00:56:51But we're safe here under the sheets.
00:56:58I don't ever wanna leave.
00:57:04I'll watch you asleep and listen to you breathe.
00:57:14I don't ever wanna leave.
00:57:18I'll watch you asleep.
00:57:23I'll watch you asleep.
00:57:23I'll watch you asleep.
00:57:27Oh, I wanted with some Cheetos.
00:57:29Hey.
00:57:30Hey.
00:57:31Give me my food.
00:57:36Hey.
00:57:37Paige.
00:57:38Oh my God.
00:57:39Thank God you're here.
00:57:41Gabby, drunk Gabby.
00:57:44The stupid vending machine won't give me my food.
00:57:49I got you.
00:57:50Wow.
00:57:52I'm telling you, listen, I've tried this so many times tonight and it has not happened.
00:57:58I mean, I don't know.
00:57:59Oh.
00:57:59Oh.
00:58:01Food!
00:58:05It's so crazy.
00:58:07I'm gonna walk you to your room, okay?
00:58:09If you wanna walk me back to my room page, then that's what we're gonna do.
00:58:12I'm gonna do that.
00:58:13Alright.
00:58:16Remember when I told you that me and Aya broke up?
00:58:19Yeah.
00:58:20Well, it actually turns out that they broke up with me.
00:58:25No one knows that though.
00:58:27Hello.
00:58:28Gabby, complex, got dumped.
00:58:30Shh.
00:58:34Are you okay?
00:58:36Um, yeah.
00:58:38I am...
00:58:41I'm not.
00:58:44You're good at making me feel better though.
00:58:47I can't.
00:58:48I can't.
00:58:49I can't.
00:58:49I'm sorry.
00:58:51Why don't you wanna kiss me?
00:58:54Why does no one wanna kiss me?
00:58:56I'm sorry.
00:58:57I just have a crush on somebody else.
00:59:01Story of my life.
00:59:02Am I right?
00:59:07Gabby?
00:59:11To throw your loyalty card.
00:59:16Yeah.
00:59:18That it is.
00:59:22See you later, alligator.
00:59:25Goodnight.
00:59:46Hey, Jerry.
00:59:47Hey, Jerry.
00:59:48Hey, Jerry.
00:59:53Wake.
00:59:54Well, friends, it doesn't get any bigger than this.
00:59:56We're here at the historic Central Square Track and Field, and we've got a big one today.
01:00:02And this is the stuff dreams are made of, but also nightmares if you're not in the top three.
01:00:07It goes by so fast, like childhood.
01:00:09I just hope that everybody takes every moment in and makes it special.
01:00:13Now, some would say there are no losers here today.
01:00:16Is that true?
01:00:16Yeah.
01:00:17Fantastic.
01:00:19The polls say you're two points behind.
01:00:21Oh, yeah?
01:00:22I wanna trust the polls, especially when they're run by two freshmen who have crushes on them.
01:00:25Okay, Todd and Henry do the best they can with the resources they have.
01:00:28Do they have the best they can?
01:00:29Mm-hmm.
01:00:30Are they?
01:00:30Are they really?
01:00:31Guys, I'm right, Jesse.
01:00:32Have you guys seen AJ?
01:00:33Tried to sit next to her on the bus, but then Coach Courtney made me to talk about my mom's
01:00:36food preferences.
01:00:36No, why?
01:00:37You have that anxious sweating through your clinical shrink deodorant look in your eye.
01:00:40AJ made me kiss last night.
01:00:41Shut up!
01:00:42And then Gabby tried to kiss me again.
01:00:44Oh my god!
01:00:45And I'm freaking out because AJ thinks it was both of our first kisses.
01:00:48But it wasn't.
01:00:49My first kiss was with Gabby, and I don't know what to do because I actually like AJ.
01:00:53No shit.
01:00:54Dylan, our kiss was really real.
01:00:59You know what I'm saying?
01:01:00It was really good.
01:01:02Okay, Paige, take a deep breath because you can't have an orgasm on the field.
01:01:05I just don't know what to do.
01:01:07I don't want her to think that it didn't matter.
01:01:08And I don't want her to think that I like her sister.
01:01:10I don't.
01:01:11I don't want her to hate me.
01:01:12We were talking all night, and I really don't want her to hate me.
01:01:17What am I going to do?
01:01:21Um, okay.
01:01:23Well, first of all, you're going to run the race, and hopefully you won't trip and fall.
01:01:28Yeah.
01:01:28And then we can figure out what to say to AJ, okay?
01:01:29I feel like I'm going to shit my pants like that marathon runner did.
01:01:32Shit your pants?
01:01:33Please shit your pants.
01:01:34That would be hilarious.
01:01:34No, please don't shit your pants.
01:01:36It's going to slow us down.
01:01:37True.
01:01:37Maybe don't shit your pants.
01:01:38And that's it for the Javelin.
01:01:40We're getting that young athlete carted off the field.
01:01:42I'm sure they'll be okay.
01:01:43They're doing amazing things now with blood platelet therapy.
01:01:46Nice.
01:01:46And now, we're on to the big one.
01:01:48The granddaddy of them all.
01:01:50The fastest 50 seconds in sport.
01:01:52The four by 100 meter relay.
01:01:54Trigger one.
01:01:55There will be a gunshot to start, but it's fake.
01:02:20How would you approach a baton handle?
01:02:22Go like this?
01:02:24Okay, ready?
01:02:25Grab it.
01:02:26So I don't look.
01:02:27Do it again?
01:02:30Incredible.
01:02:30And our ants did not tell-
01:02:32Oh, but you have to do it backwards.
01:02:33Just picture this, but backwards.
01:02:34Okay.
01:02:39On your board!
01:02:42Yes, sir!
01:02:46Okay!
01:02:59Here we are with the second leg of the race, and for Miller High, this is Gabriela Kapos.
01:03:04she's one of the captains look at him go wow she's really she's just she's just doing a lot
01:03:11of this she's doing tons of this this is going to be a crucial handoff here to new cover page
01:03:15evans
01:03:30monetary things might glean but the sun makes the beams and we are human beings
01:03:33and yeah that's an animal lying on the plane but call us a cannibal and it's terrible
01:03:37how we let ourselves get played on like an atari i'm not sorry because my heart beats for tomorrow's
01:03:43love now look at miller high they are neck and neck absolute surprise oh the humanity of it all
01:03:51incredible link later close behind now heckling in the lead miller high is something miller high second
01:04:09place
01:04:17hey can i talk to you about last night
01:04:20what about last night what happened last night my drunk ass tried to kiss page i'm sorry i should
01:04:26have asked and not just assumed because we kissed before but honestly i should probably apologize for
01:04:31that kiss too i clearly don't deal with breakups you all knew about this it's really not no it's
01:04:39fine you don't have to explain can we please talk no it's fine it's just a kiss right
01:04:47actually i should be apologizing to you i'm king pun so we're even
01:04:52holy shit you guys like each other gab really keep up please
01:04:59shit aj wait no pitch pitch pitch pitch pitch pitch give him a moment okay it's okay it's okay it's
01:05:09okay
01:05:14aj wait i didn't know you liked her okay i never would have kissed her if i did yeah i
01:05:21know but
01:05:22this always happens every time i try to make new friends or just do my own thing people always think
01:05:27of you first i'm sorry god i'm so stupid for thinking this time was different aj you're not
01:05:33stupid paige isn't even into me she said she liked someone else i'm guessing you she never told me
01:05:39that just like you didn't tell me you were king pun i mean what is going on with you why
01:05:43wouldn't you
01:05:43tell me that because mom and dad would kill me if they found out i was spending time on literally
01:05:47anything other than school or track let alone defacing the school but it's me aj i know
01:05:58but everything i do is always overshadowed by you gaps
01:06:02i needed something that was mine how am i supposed to help you if you don't tell me anything
01:06:06tell me with what mom and dad they're hard on me too you know oh now this is about you
01:06:12great i'm sorry
01:06:14i didn't mean it listen i will be fine just let second place feel like last today okay
01:06:26wow aj is king pun i did not see that coming here try
01:06:36thank you for getting me my favorite by the way you're welcome i mean i got it for both of
01:06:40us so
01:06:40i well okay um so hate to bring this up but it's almost the end of the semester and i
01:06:51was kind of
01:06:52a wondering what you were planning to do about the whole suspension thing um i have no clue
01:07:01i don't want to give aj away because her dad would be really upset but i also don't want to
01:07:07ruin this
01:07:07little cow arts thing yeah i get it everything is falling apart she won't speak to me she ignored
01:07:17me the whole time on the bus and she hasn't answered any of my texts so how am i supposed
01:07:23to draw my
01:07:23happiest moment when i'm the most depressed i've ever been well stop wondering how you could have done
01:07:29things differently you know i mean sometimes you just have to let your feelings guide you that's all you
01:07:35can really do and then sometimes your head and your heart end up duking it out all those two things
01:07:43aren't really working right now are they she's gonna come around you just gotta give her some time
01:07:48that's the way this works you didn't see the look on her face i know i didn't but i've been
01:07:57aj okay
01:07:59i've been you i've been gabby you break hearts you get your heart broken and everything in between
01:08:06that's just how it works be cool and i think eventually aj i'll hear what you're saying
01:08:13having feelings is evil it's the worst no feelings would be better but that's just not the way it is
01:08:21i do have one more really important question though what's that how does coach murray look oh like
01:08:29seriously level with me tell me everything i want all the details what do you mean you think all these
01:08:56can you think all these things are different yeah it's not the way i wanted to be i don't think
01:09:16i don't know how is it alone i don't know how do you think it's usually to have one more
01:09:20time
01:09:20of us, but you let us do it, make a scene, for the team, it's all luminous, but only
01:09:33you were caught moving, kerosene, kerosene.
01:09:51Got your hands into the fire by the greed, got nobody to deny what they've seen, nothing,
01:10:16nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing that lies on, it's all on all of us, but you let us do
01:10:30it, make a scene, for the team, no we don't know how to behave, had my fingers up screaming
01:10:42fuck what you say, eh, eh, eh, it's not the whole world over earth we play, eh, eh, eh,
01:10:52toss and turn and every night I wanna feel safe, eh, eh, eh, in a room full of kerosene.
01:10:59It's on all of us, but you let us do it, take a scene, for the team.
01:11:11It's on all of us, but you let us do it, take a scene, for the team.
01:11:22It's all luminous, but only you were caught moving, kerosene.
01:11:27Yep, got it.
01:11:33It's all luminous, but only you were caught moving, kerosene.
01:11:39I'm sorry, I just, I really need to.
01:11:42I mean, this is rude.
01:11:43Um.
01:11:44Um.
01:11:47Sorry.
01:11:48I, I dropped something out there, so I have to go ahead with you.
01:11:52I need to get ahead of you.
01:11:53So, I'm gonna...
01:11:55Hi.
01:11:56What are you doing?
01:11:57Are you just going to ignore me forever?
01:11:59It's been three days.
01:12:00Well, each one of them is felt like daylight savings.
01:12:03That would make them an hour shorter.
01:12:05Well, I told you, I don't know the metric system.
01:12:08I know you were forced to hang out with me on track.
01:12:10But then you used me to get to my sister, to hide from Chantal, and to figure out who King
01:12:13Pun was.
01:12:14Which you could have told me about, by the way.
01:12:15Oh, because you were so honest?
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18I deserve that.
01:12:20It's not like you told the truth, though, either.
01:12:22Well, I, I wanted to tell...
01:12:23You know that other place you can go to make out, right?
01:12:26That's really not what we're doing.
01:12:28I wanted to tell you about King Pun.
01:12:29That I was King Pun.
01:12:31I wanted to tell you how I felt.
01:12:34How I think about you all the time.
01:12:35How, when you look at me, I feel like my heart is literally beating in my ears.
01:12:40And when you get flustered, I get flustered.
01:12:41Because I think it's the stupidest, cutest thing I've ever seen.
01:12:43But maybe this is why I didn't tell you.
01:12:47Because I knew it was too good to be true.
01:12:50You don't get to choose who you fall for, believe me, I get it.
01:12:53AJ, look at me.
01:12:56I like you.
01:12:58I don't want to be runner-up.
01:13:06Why does the vote for Dylan hashtag only have two posts when they're both complete?
01:13:10She hasn't posted in 12 hours.
01:13:11Is that weird?
01:13:12That feels really weird.
01:13:13Oh, do you care because it's King Pun, or do you care because it's AJ and it's driving
01:13:16you nuts, not knowing what she's thinking?
01:13:18I'm not answering that.
01:13:20Listen, I just know how much trouble AJ will be in if I tell on her.
01:13:23I don't know what to do.
01:13:24Fling is always an option.
01:13:26You're going to be a great president, Stacy.
01:13:30Wait, you didn't vote for me?
01:13:33You're me and AJ's uniforms?
01:13:34Thank you, Gabby.
01:13:35Just put it in there.
01:13:38Hey, this had hot Cheeto dust on it when I got it.
01:13:40Really weird.
01:13:44Oh, Paige.
01:13:46Principal Collins would like to see you in her office.
01:13:49I know.
01:13:50And, um, tell your mom I said hi.
01:13:56I will not.
01:14:01Okay, let's just get this over with.
01:14:05I'm King Pun.
01:14:06There, I said it, okay?
01:14:07I accept whatever consequences you determine for me and I'll face them.
01:14:10Wait, let me get this straight.
01:14:12You are also King Pun?
01:14:14Yes.
01:14:14Okay, I'm King Pun.
01:14:16We're all King Pun.
01:14:17In fact, I'm Queen Pun.
01:14:18Huh?
01:14:18Is it root vegetable season?
01:14:20Because it's turn up time.
01:14:22See?
01:14:22No, I'm King Pun.
01:14:24We know you're not King Pun, okay?
01:14:26AJ Campos came in about an hour ago and she confessed to everything.
01:14:28Wait, what?
01:14:29Do you want to get suspended too?
01:14:30I'm just curious because it feels like you want to get suspended.
01:14:33And I don't know about you, but I'm not trying to do double the paperwork.
01:14:35I got things to do.
01:14:36Wait, suspension?
01:14:38You suspended her?
01:14:39Yes, I suspended her.
01:14:41She came in and gave me all the evidence I needed and she's allowed back into school next semester.
01:14:45Next semester?
01:14:46Do you understand how space and time works?
01:14:48God, the semester ends this week.
01:14:51Why are you still here?
01:14:52I have things to do.
01:14:54Wenches to boss and turkey legs to motorboat and history to write.
01:14:58Okay, I'll leave.
01:15:00Well, do you want to help me with the corset?
01:15:02Because it's...
01:15:03It is like a whole panic room on my back.
01:15:20Like, I want to win, but I just, like, I don't want to see you lose.
01:15:23I'm gonna win, babe.
01:15:24I don't know if you are.
01:15:24I think I will.
01:15:25Oh yeah?
01:15:26You think you're gonna win?
01:15:27I know I'm gonna win.
01:15:28Yeah?
01:15:28Tell me again you're gonna win.
01:15:29I'm gonna win.
01:15:30I'm gonna fuck you.
01:15:31Yeah?
01:15:32I need your help.
01:15:33Stacy, I need you to call Gabby.
01:15:34Ugh.
01:15:36Are you serious?
01:15:38She's relapsing.
01:15:38It's the opposite, actually.
01:15:40I'll fill you guys in while we work.
01:15:41We should go.
01:15:42Ugh.
01:15:43Work on what?
01:15:44Page!
01:15:45Page!
01:15:46Ugh.
01:16:01What are we doing?
01:16:03You know I can't be here right now.
01:16:04I won't take long.
01:16:07Jesus Christ!
01:16:09What the hell are you doing?
01:16:10Put that away!
01:16:14Gab, stop!
01:16:17Are you just trying to get me expelled at this point?
01:16:19Listen, I know you're still upset.
01:16:21Yeah, more so now.
01:16:22But I will always have your back, okay?
01:16:24If you're going down, I'm going down with you.
01:16:26Okay.
01:16:26Yeah, I appreciate the gesture, but this is not gonna help me at all.
01:16:29In fact, I think it's gonna get me in more trouble.
01:16:32Also, what the hell is it?
01:16:35Isn't it obvious?
01:16:37No.
01:16:38I feel like I'm playing Pictionary with an infant.
01:16:40It's supposed to be an arrow.
01:16:42You were supposed to follow it.
01:16:44What?
01:16:45Listen, I love you, okay?
01:16:47Even when we fight.
01:16:49And you're a fucking incredible artist and an amazing person.
01:16:52You deserve to win, AJ.
01:16:54All right, I do appreciate that.
01:16:56So please, follow my shitty arrow.
01:17:00Let's go.
01:17:01Let's go.
01:17:03Let's go.
01:17:24Let's go.
01:17:33Let's go.
01:17:36Let's go.
01:17:42Let's go.
01:17:53Let's go.
01:17:55do that in my office moving on to the real reason we're here today the election results and uh
01:18:02quick thank you to your peers here on stage who have worked so hard to earn your vote to become
01:18:08the next student body president and out of the two i have no idea who it could be it's
01:18:14such a close race between the both of them without further ado your next president is
01:18:38i am so honored to be your new student body president as many of you may know i've worked
01:18:44tirelessly to make this dream happen and i want to give a huge shout out to everybody who's helped
01:18:48me along the way i'm looking at you tavern henry as promised on my campaign trail i will be
01:18:56completely transparent about all my policies and i also will be challenging the administration on
01:19:01any issues i believe may have pushed back here we go in fact i'd like to serve right now by
01:19:07introducing you guys to my very first project the beautification initiative it's about time we took
01:19:13a page out of king pun's book and filled these school walls with color and life it's time you
01:19:19reinvested in art no matter what the administration says i voted for you therefore to launch this
01:19:26initiative i'd like to welcome a beautiful artist to the stage paige evans
01:19:36you look like a serial killer change your eyes what is she doing wait i can't believe i've become an
01:19:42accomplice to this oh you're gonna be surprised by a lot of the things you do with me i'm mostly
01:19:49talking about sex stuff just so you know hello my name is paige evans yeah yeah paige
01:20:04some of you guys may recognize me from that party i attended once
01:20:18like king pun um i too am also an artist
01:20:24and i believe that art is supposed to make you feel something
01:20:29king pun isn't vandalizing school property they're actually bringing life into this place
01:20:36if you ever walked into school and had a bad night or had a breakup and saw a mural and
01:20:46laughed or smiled
01:20:49yes so exactly
01:20:54i don't i don't think that king pun has to be punished for that
01:20:59and as your new class president i agree
01:21:05great great it's a coup please please
01:21:14hi hi so aj's king pun i just need you to know that when i'm with you it's not about
01:21:21gabby it's
01:21:22it's not about track page i don't really want to just let me finish okay please
01:21:32yeah i've been really struggling with this stupid prompt trying to figure out what my happiest moment
01:21:38feels like
01:21:39i can't hear anything hey you guys know what's happening i've realized that it's not just one moment
01:21:46it's every moment that i've had with you falling for you has been the happiest moment of my life
01:21:53i'm making this and making this has been the easiest thing i've made all semester
01:22:00oh
01:22:00oh my god
01:22:03i mean it really hasn't been the easiest thing i haven't slept in 24 hours but you get the idea
01:22:21can i talk now only if it's good
01:22:27i'm really sorry i threw you in the bus and let you take the fall for me it was wrong
01:22:32and really
01:22:32messed up i just wanted to spend every second i could with you and every stupid pun and mural and
01:22:41drawing brought us together so i couldn't stop because i was falling for you too
01:22:52okay that was good yo can y'all speak up man we can't hear you shut up tim
01:23:00i'm sorry what do we do i think if we can just look at the idea okay
01:23:12how are we gonna get that to cal arts uh my mom's gonna cover it
01:23:21there's only 15 battery left oh yeah i know i brought the charger so that we could have a little
01:23:26fun with this bad boy in your office later on and by later on i mean in like 90 seconds
01:23:31we should go
01:23:35thank god this went well could you imagine if she got you turning me down on tape hello oh yep
01:23:42there you are i was sitting here the whole time did you not notice no why are you smiling what
01:23:48are you
01:23:48talking about i know you took some of my hair i know that you're in love with me whoa okay
01:23:52don't
01:23:53flatter yourself you're not my type two of course i took your hair how else is a love spell supposed
01:23:57to work i'm exhausted you're welcome she really just called us out page
01:24:06okay i know i know double the paperwork and i'm sorry and you're gonna have to suspend us both so
01:24:13i'm
01:24:14not suspending either one of you guys really what did i stutter you guys need to clean your ears no
01:24:19not suspending anyone and the beautification initiative when the board hears about it it was
01:24:24me okay that's fine damn oh i'm not done yet you guys are also going to run the face painting
01:24:30booth at
01:24:30the rent fair this year anything that's the face i was looking for looking like a bunch of wenches
01:24:37she's called us wenches does this mean i have to paint tam i mean almost see we should be thanking
01:24:41her
01:24:41it's the first day in the job and you've already started a revolution would you expect anything less
01:24:46don't use those dental dams you're something you're lucky thank you
01:24:53by the way that wasn't just a kiss yeah that's it
01:25:01the thing about art is that you can't force it it's a lot like love you have to just let
01:25:06it come to you
01:25:07and not be afraid to be vulnerable i spent so long comparing myself to other artists to my peers
01:25:14to king pun when i finally stopped and i started living my life my art caught up with me and
01:25:20you
01:25:20know what it looks pretty damn good from here
01:25:23you
01:25:23you
01:25:23you
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