- 5 hours ago
- #bait
#Bait S01E03 [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:24Packing.
00:42I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:46got to stick with family.
00:46Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shitstorm you
00:50created.
00:50Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and ritual.
00:55I reckon it will help them visualize me as Bond.
00:57Oh, okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're
01:00insane.
01:01This could cost you the role. Oh, fuck.
01:06Saju, what happened to you once again?
01:09Mommy, have you met Felicia?
01:10This is the team.
01:11Oh, this is your agent.
01:16Remember I said wait in the car and I'm going to get the sweetest.
01:19Don't give me a ticket because Felicia, what's going on?
01:23Same as you, just babysitting Bond.
01:25Oh, that horny auntie's waiting for you.
01:27You're a disgrace.
01:28Felicia, you're going to get him the job, yes.
01:31If it kills me.
01:33My Shahjee's just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:35Okay.
01:35When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:37Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shahjee?
01:41Oh, how specific?
01:42I don't remember that.
01:43Oh, look, he's got the military.
01:46I'll just be a minute, okay?
01:47Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:48Bye, Felicia.
01:54I'm sorry. You are a black lady.
01:58I know.
02:01What the fuck is this?
02:03You told me.
02:10Oh, you know what? I can't get into this right now.
02:12Okay, listen, none of this matters, okay?
02:15No one reads the fucking news.
02:17However, this is a big problem.
02:20The person you assaulted, you broke his arm,
02:22and now he wants an apology.
02:24Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
02:26but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
02:29and counting young and brown your core fan base.
02:32Assaulted?
02:33This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
02:36It was a can of spray paint, Shahjee.
02:38Yeah, in hindsight.
02:39I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:41Okay, fine. Just give him his apology.
02:42Okay, good.
02:43All right, so how are you going to do?
02:44Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:47On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:49Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:52My mum usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:54That's on me.
02:55So I can't be dealing with this.
02:56I have to be with the fan today.
02:58I have to make it right.
02:58This is about your career, Shah.
03:00Your credibility in your community
03:02for the people that you say you're doing all of this for.
03:05Do you want more followers of me?
03:10Shah!
03:12Shah Latif here.
03:14Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
03:15I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
03:19You might have heard about it or seen it.
03:21Well, I lived it.
03:23And I want you to know that in that moment,
03:24I wasn't thinking at all.
03:26I was acting out of sheer instinct.
03:30Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
03:33And I would never take it for granted.
03:36And there's nothing more painful to me
03:38than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
03:41and to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way
03:44hurts me deeply.
03:46You good, yeah?
03:47Yeah, I'm good.
03:50So you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:55Oxford educated.
03:56But no sense.
03:58Why did you attack that young man?
03:59Don't listen to him.
04:01Come.
04:01Let's take a selfie.
04:03And I want you to know
04:04that I'm going to do everything in my power
04:06to make up for it
04:07and to make it rightful.
04:09Right?
04:10Should have won black.
04:12Hmm?
04:13It would go better with the animal bitches' gold palace.
04:17Hmm?
04:18Eve is my day.
04:19It belongs to all Muslims.
04:21Mummy.
04:21It's mine.
04:22And she took it.
04:23Oh.
04:23You know one thing she doesn't have?
04:25What?
04:27Hassan.
04:29Salim.
04:30You golden boy.
04:31I stood to buy a big shot.
04:33Always trying to compete with you.
04:35Bad shot.
04:36Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
04:38Don't talk filthy.
04:42Orbita?
04:44She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:46You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:48We just...
04:50Come on.
04:51You worried about what Naughty Naila thinks?
04:53Mangi Naila.
04:54Mangi Naila.
04:55Oh, my God.
04:56Thank you, Naila.
04:57And she always shows skin because she's got no style.
05:01Look, where is she?
05:01She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror
05:04to come host her own party.
05:05Eve is my body.
05:06Oh, you're such a beautiful woman.
05:09Thank you so much for having me.
05:15Mmm.
05:19Samina?
05:20Eve is my body.
05:23I'm so happy you could come.
05:25So we've decided to co-host this year.
05:27His brother, you've done a great job, Tahira.
05:30But you know Naughty Naila, how is she?
05:32She doesn't manage her.
05:33She doesn't have to do anything.
05:34I'm not going to do decoration.
05:35I'm going to put her in the penthouse.
05:36You know Naughty Naila, how is she?
05:39The Quran says charity is a blessing.
05:41Garden na'y hana.
05:43Please, khaiya.
05:43Eid Mubarak.
05:44Eid Mubarak.
05:45Eid Mubarak.
05:46Eid Mubarak.
05:47What the fuck?
05:48Don't leave my sight.
05:49Okay, don't leave my sight, huh?
05:52Idh Mubarak!
05:54Idh Mubarak!
05:54He's coming!
05:55Hello, ladies!
05:56Idh Mubarak!
05:58Idh Mubarak!
05:59Idh Mubarak!
05:59Ah!
06:00What is my?
06:01Seed, nah?
06:03Insane seed?
06:04Ah!
06:04Now he has passed, you're the eldest.
06:06No, thank you, I'm fine standing.
06:09Baba!
06:09Call you a favor.
06:11Don't tell mommy, yeah?
06:12Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
06:13By raising the blood sugar?
06:16Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
06:18May I let him go?
06:22Maybe.
06:22Yeah, maybe.
06:23Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
06:24Something with Mayra Khan in it.
06:26No, no.
06:26You would do me go wrong with Raabu.
06:34Hey, I'm hot right now.
06:43Shah, good first try, good first try.
06:45But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:49First, you forgot to say the words I'm sorry.
06:51Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:53He's buff, nah?
06:55Kitty says he's gone mental.
06:56Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:58Sorry, can you man focus, please?
07:00This is the latest.
07:02Well, this guy likes you.
07:04Hmm.
07:07Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop, it's their community like ten times.
07:13It feels like you're begging it.
07:14Maybe down the brow.
07:16I don't get it.
07:17What is the problem?
07:18I like you.
07:18Tough, man.
07:19I'm 22, mate.
07:21What were you trying to get wifed up?
07:22Get it to me sooner rather than later.
07:25This is not going away.
07:27Hi everyone.
07:28Shah Latif here.
07:29Now last night at the King's Museum, a brother and I came into conflict.
07:34Now I should not have reacted the way that I did.
07:37And the brother in question, perhaps, should not have run at me with a metal object the way that he
07:43did.
07:44Nuba is a community-led...
07:47It's not fucking community-led.
07:48The fact is, we're all in this together.
07:50And in the future, I promise to use my platform not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:57Bro?
07:57Nuba is for...
07:59You want some chai or something?
08:02No.
08:04Nuba...
08:04Bro, are we good?
08:05I'm good, are you good?
08:06Yeah, I'm good, bro.
08:07Are we good?
08:07No, I'm good.
08:08Are you good?
08:09Yeah, I'm good.
08:09I'm good then.
08:11Uba, not Uba.
08:12What are you doing?
08:12Trying to focus, man.
08:13You are distracting me.
08:15Alright.
08:16Yes.
08:17Yo, they've got them little laddus over there with the pink and green balls on them.
08:19You want them?
08:20Big man, please.
08:21I don't want laddus right now, okay?
08:22I just want to concentrate.
08:24Aren't you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
08:26Oh, yeah.
08:27Shit.
08:28In a bit, yeah?
08:29Don't bring me no laddus.
08:30Move before that, man.
08:31Move the big.
08:34Move the big.
08:35Come on, talk about town.
08:37Hey.
08:38Here I go.
08:39It's only gone, it's only gone.
08:40Hakimila, where have you been?
08:41I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
08:44Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
08:46So if I just die standing here alone...
08:48Please, please don't do this now.
08:50You left me.
08:51I'm sorry.
08:52I'm going to get up here.
08:53My name.
08:54My name is Salim.
09:00My name is Salim.
09:01Salim!
09:01My child!
09:05Salim!
09:11Salim!
09:26Salim!
09:30Salim!
09:35Eень free, what?
09:36Salim!
09:37I'm gonnaiamu pata!
09:37Look at him, the dancing monkey.
09:39Doing his mother's dirty bidding.
09:41Making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
09:43Look!
09:43No, he's not, mummy.
09:44That was a joke that I just made.
09:46Oh, my God.
09:46It'll be probably amazing!
09:47Oh.
09:48Look at that fresh bray!
09:50Zulfi...
09:50Weakest of us all.
09:52Yeah, I'm good, man. I'm good, you know.
09:54Don't leave. Shahju, she's coming. Don't leave.
09:56Shabita, can I borrow your money for a minute?
09:58I need my co-host in the kitchen.
10:00Okay, we're just gonna...
10:01Okay, okay. No, no, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
10:08Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
10:10It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know?
10:14It's off the charts.
10:15People want more community-driven rideshare options.
10:17Yes, Saleem. Yes.
10:19What are you saying, bro? Yes.
10:20Look at this guy. You good?
10:21Yeah. Come join us, man. Join us.
10:24Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was good doing that anyway.
10:25Yeah, I got you some loaders, bro.
10:26Thank you. Thank you.
10:27That's how I never got your number.
10:29How you been?
10:29I've been good, bro.
10:30Yeah? You've been breaking shit.
10:32What do you mean by that?
10:35Glass ceilings.
10:36Thank you. Try it, man. Try it.
10:38And I got his arm.
10:40It's just a fracture.
10:42Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here.
10:44Yeah.
10:45You know, our number of drivers are growing by the day.
10:47We'll be in all key five boroughs by June, so...
10:50Muba! Sick idea, innit?
10:52I've been there from day one, I remember.
10:53Bro, I'm so proud of this guy.
10:54Gus Smith is so proud.
10:55And you know what's amazing?
10:56He's always been an entrepreneur.
10:58If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
11:05Just out of interest, what's your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
11:10No problems whatsoever. No issues.
11:12And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall.
11:15It's not. It's just a bit of violent disorder.
11:17It was. It was self-defense, to be honest with you.
11:19It was really before, in a way. He's a ride or die, and he was there for me.
11:21Any credit issues, though?
11:22No credit issues because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
11:26So, if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
11:30Sorry, Judd, I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than, sort of, Series A.
11:35See this conversation here? This is, in fact, the closest he's been to the business.
11:40Right?
11:41And, in fact, I'll be honest with you, it's too close.
11:43Okay. Give me back my dildos, then.
11:48Even for me personally, the most important quality about MUBA is, in fact, the quality of the relationships.
11:55We're not just there for them when we want, because that's bullshit. That's fake.
12:00Get the fuck off me, bro.
12:02I don't know.
12:05And, anyway, I've always had a passion for customer service. That's my thing.
12:08That's one thing I picked up in Dubai. That's what we do best, hospitality. That's our culture.
12:12One might say, like, the Muslim way of doing business.
12:16Hmm.
12:16I love the idea.
12:17I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say.
12:19Well, you're taking this...
12:21You're trying to get investment from Dubai?
12:25Yeah. Okay.
12:26Yeah.
12:27You been?
12:28No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with, you know,
12:31more like...
12:33But, I mean, what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, mate?
12:35He ain't going to let you in, bro.
12:37You don't want to go there, mate. I'm all in, yeah? Remember that.
12:43He was disrespectful. He referred to your quiff like that. There was no need.
12:46He looks good.
12:48Shah, got your second apology. Yeah, that's not gonna work.
12:52First of all, what was up with that background?
12:54No.
12:54If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich arsehole.
12:58Also, you forgot to say sorry again.
13:01I was very interested in the first class, Naila.
13:04You learned it from the people.
13:07Next year, you did this back at yours, right?
13:08No, absolutely, yes.
13:10Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila.
13:13Tahira, don't forget it.
13:15Everything is fine, right?
13:16In the house?
13:19Why?
13:20No, nothing.
13:21No, nothing.
13:22Just because, uh, I was watching Shaanju today and I thought,
13:28I worry for him, for all of you.
13:30It's so much pressure.
13:32That's very kind of you to worry about.
13:34I see a bit of your sister in him.
13:44Does Shaanju have someone you can talk to?
13:47He has me.
13:48Rukaiya had you too.
13:50But she needed more help, right?
13:52And I don't know anything.
13:54She doesn't know anything.
13:55Naila, please.
13:57It's all good.
13:58My son is going to be the next James Bond.
14:01We all couldn't be more proud.
14:07It's okay to talk about these struggles now, really.
14:13It's all good.
14:15It's first class.
14:39It's been some fun and fun people.
14:47It's all good.
14:47It's all good people.
14:48I do not know.
14:48But, oh, my friend.
14:51I'm going to start with the food of the new Aram.
14:52All right.
14:53You will be someone to eat.
14:55You will take on your family.
14:56You are also going to eat the food.
14:57You will see them.
14:57I'm going to finish the food.
14:57I'll see them.
14:57And you will see them all right.
14:58And you will see them you will see them
14:59관� shortcut.
15:12Shia, we need that apology. We're running out of time. I've literally written it out for you.
15:17Just find a quiet, neutral room. Record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late, okay?
15:47Am I interacting, Sammy? Yeah. A conversation. Can you fucking close the door, please? Thank you.
15:57Is this like you two? I like her. Texting. Wow. So how long has this been going on? Six months.
16:04Three months? Okay, so this is nothing. Can we please not do this in front of Sharp?
16:09I'm chill. I'm not going to tell anyone. Why did I come here? Can we not do this in front
16:12of Sharp?
16:12I came here for you. But I never asked you to, did I? But I asked me to. I never,
16:16calm down.
16:17I never fucking asked you to. And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
16:21This is the whole problem. So just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zilfie then for the thing?
16:24No. Yes. Does he know, by the way? Oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't
16:29he?
16:29I'm not going to say anything. I've got your back. I've got your back.
16:32Look, we don't have to tell anyone, but let's just be real about what this is because this is, this
16:37is something, right?
16:38Me and you both know it. What does that even mean, bro?
16:42You live a million miles away, okay? You have a whole life. You have fucking house keys, car keys, so
16:48many keys, okay? I have one key.
16:50I can give you keys. I don't want your keys, okay? I want mine.
16:54Yo, can I just step in here for a minute, offer maybe a different perspective from my own more mature
16:58experience, yeah?
16:59I want an honest answer from both of you, okay? Alright? Alright.
17:04Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting. There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand. Alright? Yeah? You
17:12can relate, right?
17:13You send a message, a heartfelt one. Instead of it going green, it goes grey. What does that mean to
17:20you?
17:21It means you're blocked. Fuck off, really? Yeah. Let me just show you this.
17:28Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now. Can I show you this quickly? No, no, no. Oi. Don't
17:32say anything to anyone.
17:33I'm chill. Salim, yeah?
17:40He's not fucking chill.
17:41Come on.
17:48With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
17:50Pasha?
17:51Okay.
17:52Well, he recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
17:56How will you? Seated?
17:57I won't be seated.
17:58Well, where's by? Think about it.
17:59Let someone else lead.
18:01Listen, you ass-wipes. I can run circles around you idiots. I will lead.
18:13By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment,
18:18Shah Latifah's exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
18:22And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor,
18:26he's somehow liberating all of us.
18:28And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
18:30Come on.
18:32Come on.
18:43Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
18:45La ilaha illa Allah. Allahu Akbar.
18:53Hey, Shah Latif here.
18:56I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
19:00and avoidable.
19:01And I'm deeply sorry.
19:03Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking thing.
19:07Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:08Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:09Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
19:11Shah Latif here.
19:12Last night at the King's Museum, I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object
19:17and apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
19:19We just…
19:19Allah sallatala m'yall fino ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala Allahu Akbar.
19:24Hi, Shah Latif here.
19:26Literally nothing to apologize for.
19:28Trying to save my career and my life so fuck you and your little tik tok, you little…
19:38Assam Allah ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala ala
19:43ala ala ala ala.
20:04Hello?
20:07Yeah, hi, is this Sid?
20:09Uh, yeah, hi.
20:11Hi, this is Shah Latif.
20:13Is it?
20:15Actually.
20:15Yeah, it is actually.
20:16Bro, I just want to say, I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
20:24No excuses.
20:25I was bang out of order.
20:29I just don't know what came over me.
20:31I really hope you can find it in your heart to please forgive me.
20:36Yo, I appreciate this, man.
20:40Like, I really do.
20:40I was going to call my lawyers, but then the fact you called, man.
20:45Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
20:47Can't tell you how much this means, man.
20:49Legit.
20:53Well...
20:53Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
20:56Like, in a recording?
20:59Sorry?
21:00I need the engagement, bro.
21:02Right.
21:03I mean, I guess so.
21:05Nice, Ryan.
21:06Appreciate it.
21:07All right.
21:07Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
21:09Just remember, keep the vid under 90 for the algorithm, yeah?
21:14Mm-hmm.
21:14I will do.
21:15All right.
21:16See you.
21:16See you.
21:37What happened?
21:38He fell.
21:39What?
21:39Why was he praying on a chair already?
21:41Shush.
21:41You want to sit down?
21:42Come on.
21:44How's your breathing?
21:45Okay?
21:46You okay?
21:47Huh?
21:47Why didn't you sit him down?
21:48But now you want to be involved.
21:49What the fuck's that supposed to mean?
21:50I'm doing something inside.
21:51You're for yourself.
21:51Don't come at me.
21:52You always fucking want to be the hero, and you're never around.
21:54All right.
21:55All right.
21:55All right.
21:56Come on, mate.
21:57Baba?
21:58Do you get it?
21:58Is anyone getting any water?
21:59Yeah.
22:00I'm glad you want to get a blanket or something.
22:04What?
22:05Are you good, bro?
22:07Bro, are you good?
22:08What's going on?
22:09Are you dumb?
22:10He's a fucking diabetic, and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
22:14Shabbat, bit up.
22:14All right.
22:15Shaz, just fuck off again, yeah?
22:16You better when I'm not around.
22:17That's what you're saying.
22:18No, no, he's not my dad.
22:19He's your dad.
22:19Shaz, you?
22:20Huh?
22:20Shaz, you?
22:22You know what?
22:22You think you're a fucking bad man, yeah?
22:24How?
22:24Fucking, yeah, my people is my bad.
22:26How the fuck are you going to help your people if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
22:31It's okay with me.
22:31You're just crying about it last night, bro.
22:33What?
22:33You came in to take care of me.
22:34You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
22:35I saw you giving out your little business cards.
22:36That's some sweet little mini-caps driver, bro.
22:38Shut up, blow it, bro.
22:39He's a leech, man.
22:40He's been leeching off me my whole life.
22:42What are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
22:44Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
22:46He's trying to chirps your little sister.
22:48What?
22:48Only chirpsing.
22:49I love her.
22:50All right, what the fuck, man?
22:51Are you fucking, are you mad?
22:53Listen, don't listen to him.
22:54He's lost the fucking plot.
22:55He's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer.
22:56What?
22:57What freezer?
22:57In the garage, and he's been talking to it.
22:59You sure you're talking to a pig's head?
23:00What if I have?
23:01What?
23:01What if I have?
23:02What if I have?
23:06I'm going to lose my mind.
23:07Hey, you can't stop.
23:10Chalo, Chaju.
23:11Nigel, what are you asking?
23:13Why are you saying Nigel Jiao to me?
23:15No, no, I'm asking.
23:16Why is he saying that to me?
23:17Baba, what did I do?
23:17What did I do?
23:18I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
23:19I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
23:22Well, you lot will judge me.
23:23Huh?
23:23Why are you fucking touching me?
23:25Don't touch me.
23:25Shh.
23:26I'm trying to change the world.
23:27All right?
23:28So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless,
23:31stinking, bitter, paki.
23:33Look at me.
23:33Get the fuck out of here, boss.
23:35Oh, I've got a problem, Mama.
23:36She blames you for what happened to your mom, bro.
23:38Shut up!
23:46Shut up!
24:07Here, my friends.
24:15Why are you siblings such as no gift?
24:21दो पियाली भर के दे साखी में एक गुलफान की, एक अपने नाम की और एक लहनान की, मेट दे
24:32पूरी तमना इस दिले नाकाम की, और दे दे दे दे दर्द में सूरत को ही आराम की,
24:40गूपी पिलवा मगर जोशे तमना डाल कर, एक कत्रा दे मगर कत्रे में दर्या डाल कर, ऐसा की तेरी खैर
24:53तेरे मैं कदे की खैर
25:34झाल झाल
25:40झाल
26:10झाल
26:10झाल
26:11झाल
26:11झाल
26:29झाल
26:30झाल
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