- 9 hours ago
Sex Education By My Best Friend Ep βππ
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:21You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe.
00:00:32What are you going to tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:38Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamole wizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:46You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:53Okay.
00:00:58Wrapped my blade.
00:00:59Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:04Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of castle claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:16But on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it. This isn't public school.
00:01:26Forget your training wheels.
00:01:29At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:43No, stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:49God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51Ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey, I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my god, he's cold!
00:02:08He's so hot!
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:16Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:21What do you want me to stop?
00:02:23What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me.
00:02:35Yeah, I break a lot of hours, player cop.
00:02:37Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:41I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:44You were a...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:53All right, I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but hey, you got my attention.
00:03:02So in that case, we're even.
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it.
00:03:22Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:26My last thought better not be broken.
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:41I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:51I'm going to make her watch a living hell.
00:03:54What's going on?
00:03:55Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Yeah, Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:58Yeah, idiot.
00:03:59I can see it.
00:03:59I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:04Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:10Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15Cole, I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:24But he's not your Cole.
00:04:25Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:27He's not yet.
00:04:29Come on.
00:04:31Hi.
00:04:32I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Hayley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters?
00:04:39It's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so I'll take you to your locker.
00:04:45Come in.
00:04:46Go there.
00:04:47Let's go.
00:04:50Uh, there you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:01Oh!
00:05:02That's so nice.
00:05:04Oh, my God.
00:05:14Aw, you're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:25Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:27What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Get it back.
00:05:32Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:39Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:40Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:48I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:51Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:52Ah, chill, please.
00:05:57No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, that would clean goes to the school.
00:06:07Please ignore that.
00:06:08Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:11Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmunds, and you're going to mess with me.
00:06:19Edmunds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:24Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:39What is it?
00:06:52I'm sorry.
00:06:55I'm sorry.
00:06:56You're right.
00:06:56I'm sorry.
00:06:56She does look kind of cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that. Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking? Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:17Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Hayley. Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning?
00:07:25My name's Hayley.
00:07:26Well, Hayley, I think you used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:34What a coincidence! So did you!
00:07:37Oh, no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her must have failed an eye exam.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you. Something happened today. I lost the game. I thought I'd never see you
00:08:09again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And what is this?
00:08:16What I think it is, is I want to be with you and you want to be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything. You're my soul mate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:31Okay, well, since we're dating now, I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:36Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah. Get ready.
00:08:46Okay. No face. Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea? But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this. You'll love it.
00:09:02Ugh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:05Come on, Hayley. Confidence.
00:09:07You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:14Okay, yeah. That's actually kind of-
00:09:21Oh my God, seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:25Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:31Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're not survivable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:36Get out. Now!
00:09:38Fine.
00:09:39Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:09:47Instead of me...
00:09:51People are going to cry.
00:09:52Save them?
00:10:06They don't see me.
00:10:07Somebody let me take a Δ.
00:10:08I love it.
00:10:16Alright,Ψ΅ uh!
00:10:18You're helping me.
00:10:19Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:31I love a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him were flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:39Yeah, don't flatter yourself.
00:10:40I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:41My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, I know.
00:10:54I love the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way.
00:10:58I'm not in my type, but, you know, it's hard for me.
00:11:02Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, Quacamole Wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:17Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:20I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:25Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:33Here goes nothing.
00:11:41Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:50You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:14Oh, my God.
00:12:18Oh, my God.
00:12:33What's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36What?
00:12:37Yeah.
00:12:51Come on.
00:12:53Let's see if these builds are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop.
00:12:58Delete it.
00:12:58Please.
00:12:58Delete it.
00:12:59Finish.
00:13:00Finish.
00:13:00Finish.
00:13:03Finish.
00:13:11Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:19Oh, my God.
00:13:20Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:24Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:31Jen, no.
00:13:31No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:32Jen, stop.
00:13:33Stop.
00:13:34Stop.
00:13:35Stop.
00:13:35Keep over.
00:13:37No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:47Keep over.
00:13:48Keep over.
00:13:51Keep over.
00:13:51Keep over.
00:13:51My school enemy is my online girlfriend?
00:13:55Keep over.
00:13:56Keep over.
00:13:57Stop it.
00:13:59Oh, my God.
00:14:01What?
00:14:08Hey. You okay? Give that to me.
00:14:21Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school? Not good, huh?
00:14:34Now, if you don't delete it off your phone, I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her? She's the loser who has nude photos for random men.
00:14:46Amy's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me. You hear me?
00:14:56Haley, are you?
00:14:56Cole is on my side now? Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:03Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole, and he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:20Love you, Mom.
00:15:20Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56What's up there, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:01They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:11Oh.
00:16:12I'm really proud of you.
00:16:14And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:20It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:24Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:28Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna risk for Kate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:43When?
00:16:43Where?
00:16:44After school.
00:16:45At the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring flowers.
00:16:47Deal.
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Call me father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:24Haley girl.
00:17:25He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a man.
00:17:40Her mother works as a man.
00:17:41She's a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:47Stay away from Haley Cole.
00:17:49Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:56Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:03safe.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:16I am Haley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:20God.
00:18:22I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:38Bail.
00:18:42Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45You waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:48Pathetic.
00:18:49Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's not.
00:18:52And maybe he's sitting on his life video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:58Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh, no.
00:19:02We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:05And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:08Eat it.
00:19:21Shh.
00:19:22I called me.
00:19:24So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter, so you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:32Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:35Oh, and by the way, Nicole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:40Like me.
00:19:44I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:58Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:01Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:06Take out your tone and record this.
00:20:16Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hayley anymore?
00:20:18Don't think you have blood pressure.
00:20:20So tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:23You're gonna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:28I will leave Hayley alone.
00:20:32I will leave Hayley alone.
00:20:38Got it?
00:20:38Yeah.
00:20:39Let's go.
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:45Got it?
00:20:46Let's go.
00:20:55Uh, thank you.
00:20:57Wow.
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just...
00:21:07I happen to see you.
00:21:09Were you waiting at someone?
00:21:11Yeah.
00:21:12My boyfriend, actually.
00:21:16Well, he...
00:21:17He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:19Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:23Maybe you got to do it nice today.
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:29You thought we were enemies.
00:21:31I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:34Not that annoying.
00:21:35Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:38Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edmonds?
00:21:40Because it's not gonna work.
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:49How'd that online boyfriend of yours make you fall for her?
00:21:55He...
00:21:56He makes me feel safe.
00:21:59You wouldn't understand, though.
00:22:05I understand better than you think.
00:22:08Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:12Is he...
00:22:14How you touch him like this?
00:22:25If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see.
00:22:29No, my...
00:22:31My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:36In the game.
00:22:38Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52He lost a lot in the game, too.
00:22:55I can see why he likes you.
00:23:07I can't do this.
00:23:10I love my boyfriend.
00:23:11And you will never understand that.
00:23:13He's...
00:23:14Smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:16He loves me for who I am.
00:23:19That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:23I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:33Wait.
00:23:34It couldn't be.
00:23:37Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:42There's nothing.
00:23:43Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car.
00:23:51I got done getting waxed.
00:23:54Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life.
00:24:03What was I thinking?
00:24:04We are from two different worlds.
00:24:06He just wants to play with me.
00:24:08But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I got into a car accident.
00:24:19Really? Are you okay?
00:24:21You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:23He was right.
00:24:24Who?
00:24:25Nobody.
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:27I want to come visit you.
00:24:29No, no, you can't.
00:24:30I look miserable now.
00:24:31You need to see me in style.
00:24:34Fine, if you say so.
00:24:36So...
00:24:36Are we going to prom together?
00:24:38Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:04Oh.
00:25:05Oh.
00:25:06Oh.
00:25:07Me.
00:25:07Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:12People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:15I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:24You finished it?
00:25:26It's okay.
00:25:27We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:29I'm a little bit curious about you, actually.
00:25:30I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:32Like, uh...
00:25:33How close were you with your mom?
00:25:36What is he trying to do?
00:25:38It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:41I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:45Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:56So.
00:25:57Are you going to prom?
00:25:59Eh.
00:25:59I did well.
00:26:00I don't know.
00:26:01So you have a date.
00:26:04Or shall I say victim?
00:26:06Are you jealous of me?
00:26:07Me?
00:26:08Jealous?
00:26:09No.
00:26:09Why would I be jealous?
00:26:10Oh, because I think you so secretly want to be.
00:26:13You are so full of yourself.
00:26:15You can do this on your own.
00:26:17Yeah.
00:26:19No way.
00:26:21It's a self-locking door.
00:26:22Really?
00:26:24Ms. Corbin's going to be back in an hour.
00:26:25I'm sure it'll be fine.
00:26:26I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:28Okay.
00:26:29Sorry.
00:26:30Am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:34Don't worry.
00:26:35Maybe we try something new.
00:26:36Mm-mm.
00:26:37We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:39Yeah.
00:26:49That was my first kiss.
00:26:53My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:56It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:10You're really good at this.
00:27:12One day I want you to regret it.
00:27:14You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:32And I've been wanting back a lot more than you think.
00:27:36So you want me?
00:27:40I think you know much I want you.
00:27:45Do you want me?
00:27:48I want you.
00:27:53Oh shit.
00:27:57Anyone in here?
00:28:01Oh my god.
00:28:02How long have you two been in here?
00:28:03I really need to change this lock.
00:28:05Are you two okay?
00:28:07Oh.
00:28:08Yeah.
00:28:08Yeah, we're good.
00:28:09We're all good.
00:28:10Great.
00:28:11Nice.
00:28:17Are you just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:21Hey, wait.
00:28:22It's just hormones.
00:28:24Jake.
00:28:26Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax.
00:28:29I'm not dead.
00:28:29Wait.
00:28:30Car accident?
00:28:31Guacamole wizard?
00:28:38I gotta go.
00:28:46Guacamole wizard?
00:28:48Huh?
00:28:50Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:53Do I know you?
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:56Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:07She was in a real car accident.
00:29:08And according to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:11I can't take this anymore.
00:29:12Cole!
00:29:13Wait!
00:29:15Oh shit.
00:29:20What's up, Gus?
00:29:22Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:27Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:31Hey!
00:29:32I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:35They're your favorite, right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Tough day, huh?
00:29:41There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:44They're my favorite.
00:29:45He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um...
00:29:54A dickhead?
00:29:57Can you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:58You came to my table, bro.
00:30:00And knocked my ball away.
00:30:08There it goes again.
00:30:10Cole is jealous.
00:30:11We got a problem here, Cole.
00:30:13We don't have a problem.
00:30:15We don't have a problem.
00:30:16Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:21Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:25I have the ball now.
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that.
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:39What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:43Wait, seriously?
00:30:44Yeah.
00:30:45Just one little catch.
00:30:46You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth.
00:30:51All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:54If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:57I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:31:01But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:05You've literally been sorry for five minutes.
00:31:07I'm thinking.
00:31:08About the report or about him?
00:31:09Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:12We literally made out of a sore dream.
00:31:14Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:16No, you don't.
00:31:17How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:20Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:22You have no idea.
00:31:28Oh my god, is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:44Haley, someone's here to see you.
00:31:58Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:00Too cheesy?
00:32:02No.
00:32:03It's cute.
00:32:04The accident?
00:32:05The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:07He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:09So, um...
00:32:10What do you think?
00:32:11You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:14I...
00:32:14I should feel happy.
00:32:16But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:24Hey, can we not?
00:32:26Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:28My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:31And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:34Wow.
00:32:35That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:37Oh.
00:32:38That's weak shit?
00:32:39Is this weak shit?
00:32:43Oh my god!
00:32:44What?
00:32:51Wow.
00:32:52He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:59Wait.
00:33:00I can't.
00:33:01Colt, put me down.
00:33:02Put me down.
00:33:03Put me down.
00:33:05Don't do that again.
00:33:19New couple alert?
00:33:21Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:22Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:24You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:26And if you'd realize and give me a chance,
00:33:28I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:30Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:33I might say yes.
00:33:37Jen, you wanna go to prom?
00:33:39With me.
00:33:41Jen, you wanna go to prom?
00:33:43With me.
00:33:44We're both hot.
00:33:45And we're both rich.
00:33:46And our dads have been in business, like, forever.
00:33:49So...
00:33:50How romantic.
00:33:51I think I'll pass.
00:33:54You're gonna regret this, Colt Edmonds.
00:33:58Oh, here they come.
00:33:59Oh, here they come.
00:34:01If I message Corcamole Wizard,
00:34:03I wonder if Jake's phone will ding.
00:34:07What should we wear to prom?
00:34:09And the Dean's List.
00:34:14Um, I'll talk to you later.
00:34:20I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:21Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:22Bye.
00:34:22Stay with me.
00:34:24Stay with me.
00:34:24He's so different.
00:34:25Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:28Yeah, stay with me.
00:34:30Hayley?
00:34:37Geez.
00:34:41God.
00:34:46Here, I'll get it.
00:34:47There we go.
00:34:52Oh.
00:34:53You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:56I don't care.
00:34:57I do care.
00:34:59Here we are.
00:35:13It's a great thing.
00:35:14No one.
00:35:15Yeah.
00:35:17I don't care about me, Jake.
00:35:18I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:21He doesn't even know you.
00:35:22And you do?
00:35:23How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:26That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:27Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:31I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:33The first day.
00:35:35You were watching me?
00:35:38Just tell me about it, Shay.
00:35:54Milf!
00:35:56Colt is talking to Hayley again.
00:35:58Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:03Obviously I do.
00:36:05Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:08Uh, what do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas.
00:36:16Hey, look.
00:36:19Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:21I promise.
00:36:22Yeah? Really, like who?
00:36:23I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:27And you.
00:36:28But you're not asking me.
00:36:31Hey.
00:36:32Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:34Hey, Hal.
00:36:35Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:40The other night.
00:36:41Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:46You're so sexy.
00:36:48Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:50Hey, I'm talking about you.
00:36:51Oh, I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:37:00And she's a real tiger in the pep room.
00:37:03Oh, shit.
00:37:05Oh, shit.
00:37:05Look up.
00:37:06Oh, shit.
00:37:08Oh, shit.
00:37:13Oh, shit.
00:37:15Oh, shit.
00:37:18Oh, shit.
00:37:20Oh, shit.
00:37:20Oh, shit.
00:37:22Oh, shit.
00:37:23Oh, shit.
00:37:25Oh, shit.
00:37:28Oh, shit.
00:37:31Oh, shit.
00:37:32I've got to save Cole. I mean Jake. I've got to save Jake.
00:37:41Oh my god! Principal Stephens, I'm so sorry!
00:37:46Hayley Rock, that's detention. After school, don't be late.
00:38:06Cole, what are you doing here?
00:38:09Can we keep you company?
00:38:11It's the least I could do after you saved my ass today.
00:38:15The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:18Oh, sure.
00:38:21So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:26No. He lied about that. I don't know why though.
00:38:29Good. You know, father that asshole, every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:37Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:40I could kill him.
00:38:44Promise me you won't go to prom with him.
00:38:48Okay, fine. I won't.
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:57Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:08Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:22Oops!
00:39:28Oops! Sorry!
00:39:30I tripped.
00:39:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:33Jet!
00:39:33What?
00:39:34It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:39They're dead.
00:39:41They're both dead.
00:39:42Oh.
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:48Oh.
00:39:50What are you...
00:39:51Are you almost crying?
00:39:53It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:57Jen!
00:39:58What's going on over there?
00:40:07Wait.
00:40:09What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:12This squirm is burning!
00:40:14Mr. Edmonds!
00:40:15Oh, please. It's baking soda on water. You're fine.
00:40:18Detention. Today, after school.
00:40:20Shit.
00:40:33Jake, hey.
00:40:34Oh, uh, sorry. Gotta get to student council.
00:40:40Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:43The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:48You don't know about the...
00:40:50Come on.
00:40:52Come on.
00:41:03Hey! Um, Ella.
00:41:07It's Emma.
00:41:08Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:10Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:20Hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:22We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop. It means... it means I can't...
00:41:31Can't what?
00:41:32What?
00:41:35I talked to a friend online.
00:41:38He's really important to me.
00:41:42And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:55You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and...
00:42:00Big ol' ego and rich kid bravara.
00:42:03Okay, okay. I-I get it.
00:42:08You're kinda sweet.
00:42:13Hey, look at that.
00:42:16Oh my god!
00:42:17Thank you!
00:42:19Oh my god!
00:42:21You're a miracle worker.
00:42:27Ugh, what is taking so long?
00:42:29You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:32Shut up, Ella.
00:42:33It's Emma.
00:42:34It's Emma.
00:42:41Oh my god.
00:42:49Oh, morning, valley whore!
00:42:52How are things in the castle?
00:42:58Valley whore?
00:43:00What are they talking about?
00:43:13You're not talking about this.
00:43:14Okay, there's yourVANTMXXXXXXXX.
00:43:15Oh.
00:43:16Guacamole Wizard.
00:43:17When can we be together in person?
00:43:20Guacamole Wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:23Oh, my god. Someone hacked my Castle Claymer's messages.
00:43:27Touch me, Guacamole Wizard.
00:43:30Yeah.
00:43:30Hey, valley whore!
00:43:31Show them what you really like.
00:43:51Here you go.
00:43:53Here, this is for you.
00:43:58Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:00You hacked my laptop?
00:44:03Oh, no, it wasn't me.
00:44:04It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:05But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:08What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:11What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:13No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:15Hey, everyone!
00:44:15I think Valley Whore's a catfish.
00:44:19Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:47Stop it! Stop! Stop!
00:44:52I thought I'd said to Jana this in time.
00:44:54Mm-hmm.
00:44:57Jane!
00:44:58Hey.
00:45:01now's the time tell them tell them what that's your guacamole wizard
00:45:08who's guacamole wizard here you go
00:45:14oh my god did you think that jake was your secret little online boyfriend
00:45:17oh sweetie i've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you
00:45:22what why would you do that oh i don't know cole why do you think i would do that
00:45:28jake is this true have you been pretending to like me this whole time
00:45:35sorry it was nothing personal
00:45:42yeah nothing personal
00:45:49all right all right all right enough what in the world is going on here
00:45:55is that a leaf blower that's all him okay well you both have detention so
00:46:05let me get this straight you stole a leaf blower and defaced school property it wasn't school
00:46:11property dad it was jen's cyber boy spreadsheets jesus how does she always get away with this
00:46:16shit could it be because her father's running for senate cole you think that's what it could
00:46:21be who cares i care and i hear she's got an eye for you so you're taking her to prom
00:46:28what not over my dead body oh because you're like that hailey girl i'm firing her mother right now
00:46:35no no please don't please then you're taking jen to prom max's dad called he said he's having a
00:46:42party tomorrow you're gonna go and you're gonna ask jen to prom end of discussion
00:46:53come on you big coward message him just do it
00:47:00you must think i'm the biggest idiot
00:47:09i could never think that
00:47:15but i thought you were jake please can't you just tell me now i think i've had enough public
00:47:20humiliation for one lifetime
00:47:26i heard that guy max is throwing a party tomorrow if you want i'll meet you there
00:47:42okay you got the celine just take a deep breath you got this you got this
00:47:51you look beautiful
00:47:55thank you mom
00:48:14hey hailey i'm glad you came you look so pretty
00:48:17hi hey max your house is gorgeous i mean no it's just my parents blood money you know they're upstairs
00:48:24watching the last of us right now they don't care about shit get drunk girl
00:48:29whoo
00:48:31yeah
00:48:42what are you doing here valley whore
00:48:46looks like the catfish came out of the pond hey everyone let's give it up for valley whore
00:48:51valley whore
00:48:56jen why are you doing this what have i even done to you to me oh i'm actually concerned about
00:49:01our whole
00:49:02community because those little cringy messages on your castle game those are concerning actually kind
00:49:08of a bit of a perv did you know that hayley she's a little pervy princess pervy princess
00:49:22hey let's get perfect tonight leave me alone is there a fire okay we set off the alarm
00:49:42oh
00:49:44oh
00:49:45oh
00:49:45oh
00:50:21Are you... him?
00:50:24Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:27Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:29Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:32No, I'm not.
00:50:33Yes, you are.
00:50:34It's okay.
00:50:35You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:38So you two.
00:50:39This whole time.
00:50:43Oh my God, I am such an idiot.
00:50:46Hey, wait.
00:50:51Hey, wait.
00:50:53Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:54You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:58Jen was doing just fine.
00:50:59I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:51:01Then what were you trying to do?
00:51:02I guess you.
00:51:04Obviously.
00:51:05The white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:07I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:10And what about guacamole, was it?
00:51:13What are you...
00:51:21What is that?
00:51:24Just the devil.
00:51:27I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:32Get in the car.
00:51:33Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:36Haley.
00:51:37I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:40I'm a striven.
00:51:41So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:47Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:49My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:54And that's not you.
00:51:55You will be forgotten.
00:51:57You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:59And your mom works for me.
00:52:01Stay away from him.
00:52:03Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:07Dad, stop!
00:52:08Don't you touch my family.
00:52:10I'll stay away.
00:52:12Haley, come on.
00:52:13You don't mean that.
00:52:16I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:19I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:25I hate everything about you.
00:52:27I hate all of it.
00:52:29I don't want any part of it.
00:52:31So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:35Haley!
00:52:40Fuck this.
00:52:41That's me.
00:52:44No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:47Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:50Haley, not that's real love.
00:52:52Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:53I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:57Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:07Hi, Haley.
00:53:08I'm Emma.
00:53:09I know who you are.
00:53:10Right.
00:53:11I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped and ruin your life.
00:53:16So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:19Good as new.
00:53:24Oh, wow.
00:53:26Thanks, Emma.
00:53:27Okay, bye.
00:53:33One down, one to go.
00:53:35You're so cool.
00:53:37I know, Emma.
00:53:38Want to go to prom?
00:53:39Why not?
00:53:42Let's get these lumpers together.
00:53:48Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:50Hi, Max.
00:53:51And Max's friend.
00:53:52Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:54Cole's grounded.
00:53:56Oh, he is?
00:53:58But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:54:00What can I say, Max?
00:54:02Actions have consequences.
00:54:04Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:07Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:12We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:15Cole?
00:54:16My son, Cole?
00:54:18Reviewing budgets.
00:54:19He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:22Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:24We just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important
00:54:28and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:39Go away!
00:54:44Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:47Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:48I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:51Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:53What?
00:54:53What's going on?
00:54:55Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:57You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:58You can be together.
00:55:00Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:04No.
00:55:05I'll tell her to myself.
00:55:07Sneak me in your car.
00:55:15Welcome to the wizard.
00:55:18Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:20I just need some time alone.
00:55:29Open the door.
00:55:31Wait, what?
00:55:33He's here?
00:55:41It's you.
00:55:43I should have given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:47Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:50My dad threatened to fire your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:55I was.
00:55:56I got my inheritance.
00:55:57And I could protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:13Haley, I understand that this changes things.
00:56:17If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:36Nicole, I love you.
00:56:38You do?
00:56:40Yes, you idiot.
00:56:42I've loved you for months.
00:56:44I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though, because I had to be loyal to him.
00:56:51But you're him.
00:56:52Well, you didn't expect her.
00:56:54I mean, I always hoped it was you.
00:56:59Until you hoped it was you.
00:57:01Yes.
00:57:02I hoped it was you.
00:57:04You were always there for me.
00:57:08You're hurt and you're really fucking hot.
00:57:15Hey, uh, what are those things I said we could do?
00:57:20Better go?
00:57:22Yeah.
00:57:25Take my clothes off.
00:57:26Yeah, no, don't worry.
00:57:50Okay, so, what do you think?
00:57:53Ten out of ten.
00:57:54Oh.
00:57:55Yeah, we'll do it again.
00:57:56I'll get sex for sex with me specifically.
00:57:59I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:58:02All right.
00:58:02All right, that's fair.
00:58:04I'll, uh, I'll take that as a win.
00:58:11What is my life now?
00:58:13Am I being nice to Cole Agnets?
00:58:15Mm, no, God, no.
00:58:16I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:21No, I'll just, I'll just lust behind it.
00:58:24There's always been lust behind it.
00:58:26I'll take you a minute, Norm.
00:58:27Stop it.
00:58:30Um, same.
00:58:33Isn't Promenade?
00:58:35I think you know if it's Promenade.
00:58:38I don't know.
00:58:38Um, but the real question is, do you got a date?
00:58:44Cole, are you asking me a prom?
00:58:46Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of beat me to the gym.
00:58:50Oh, God, please don't mention his name again.
00:58:52I don't want to hear it.
00:58:54Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice.
00:58:56But I don't even have a dress.
00:58:58Later.
00:59:03I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:07Who would have guessed?
00:59:12I thought, only the best for my princess.
00:59:15Where did you get that?
00:59:18I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to prom
00:59:24with me,
00:59:25and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:29Of course they'll go to prom with you.
00:59:35Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
00:59:38Cole, are you here?
00:59:41Cole, are you here?
00:59:44Mr. Edmonds, you can't just park into my house like this.
00:59:47I see you, Cole.
00:59:48You are a big pro.
01:00:06Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:09You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:14Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:26What do you think?
01:00:31My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:00:37I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:40You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:4320 more minutes.
01:00:45We're in.
01:00:46Deal.
01:00:49Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:00:54I hear we have a winner.
01:00:57And your 2026 prom queen is Jen Longfellow.
01:01:06Oh, my God.
01:01:08Thank you guys so much.
01:01:11Seriously, this makes the world to me.
01:01:13I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:16Oh, this is just the perfect moment.
01:01:22Oh, my God.
01:01:23That's Haley and Cole.
01:01:26It was fun.
01:01:27It's very sad.
01:01:32Hey, uh, this time that's up.
01:01:35No.
01:01:36But who cares?
01:01:39Hell yeah.
01:01:40Woo!
01:01:43Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:01:45Damn.
01:01:46Language.
01:01:47I am the queen, okay?
01:01:48She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:50Come on.
01:01:51Everyone say it with me.
01:01:53Pervy princess.
01:01:54Pervy princess.
01:01:55Pervy princess.
01:02:01Wait.
01:02:02Wait, wait, wait.
01:02:03What are those?
01:02:04Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:02:06Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:09His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:13Don't worry, Daddy.
01:02:15If I can't have him, no one can.
01:02:18I'm going to destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:21Is this real?
01:02:22Jen's crazy.
01:02:25Who did this?
01:02:27Who did this?
01:02:30What?
01:02:31You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was going to hack your phone?
01:02:34You little shit.
01:02:36You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty
01:02:44drama.
01:02:45But quite frankly, you are the worst.
01:02:49And I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy.
01:02:53You can't do that.
01:02:55I'm the principal.
01:02:56So, uh, yes, I can.
01:02:59Oh!
01:03:03Oh, my God.
01:03:07There was no internship.
01:03:09You lied to me.
01:03:11Oh, my God.
01:03:16Oh, my God.
01:03:23My princess finally has her crown.
01:03:26Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:29Oh.
01:03:30Yeah, no can do.
01:03:31All I have to offer is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder and a awesome sense of
01:03:37humor.
01:03:37Oh, how can I refuse?
01:03:45Oh, no.
01:03:46That's my dad.
01:03:49We are going home right now.
01:03:52You disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:03:55Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:03:57You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name.
01:04:02Yet, you can't see I've already become that man.
01:04:05And it's because of Hayley.
01:04:07And if you can accept that, I'll make my own path.
01:04:10And best believe me, I can.
01:04:12I'll say this.
01:04:14That's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:19Joy prime.
01:04:27I am so proud of you.
01:04:31I kind of done with all you being by my side.
01:04:34That was terrifying.
01:04:36It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before, though, so.
01:04:40I love you, Bella Quinn.
01:04:42I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:04:44Oh, my God.
01:04:45I got to change that username.
01:04:46Yeah, you do.
01:04:47Hey.
01:04:47What?
01:04:48Hey.
01:04:51Hey.
01:04:55Oh, my God.
01:05:01I am sorry.
01:05:03Oh, my God.
01:05:03Oh, my God.
Comments