- 5 hours ago
Esp El ÚLtimo AdióS De Stella
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Short filmTranscript
00:05The summer I turned 18, Asher made me cross a line I could never take back.
00:10I bit my lip through the ache, glowing secretly all night,
00:13convinced that six long years of loving him from a distance had finally, finally paid off.
00:18Then the next morning, I heard his friend laughing outside the classroom door.
00:22Okay, okay. Got the nerd to give it up, huh?
00:25My face burned, and I turned to slip away before anyone saw me.
00:29I'm trying to get with Chloe, but she'd think I was too inexperienced.
00:33So I used Stella to get some practice in first.
00:35I didn't say a single word.
00:36I just quietly changed my college application from NYU to a school thousand miles away in California.
00:42His words hit me like a thunderclap out of a cloudless summer sky.
00:46No warning at all. My mind went completely blank.
00:49It was a scorching July afternoon, but I felt like ice was spreading through every inch of my body.
00:54The guys inside kept talking, pausing only for a half second before someone else piped up.
01:00Classic Ashen. Even Stella was just a warm-up for him.
01:03Everyone knows how hard it is to get into her pants.
01:09So what does that make her? Like, a practice dully?
01:13Asher just laughed it off.
01:16Relax. She got something out of it, too.
01:18I mean, Stella's cute and all, but compared to Chloe, yeah, no contest.
01:22Right.
01:24Asher threw a textbook at him to shut him up.
01:27It was just a vibe, okay? The moment happened, and honestly, she seemed like she was enjoying herself.
01:32The guys all exchanged knowing looks and started roasting him.
01:36Who knew the book bird was that freaky under all those cardigans?
01:40Bro, Asher's just built different.
01:42Why leave free food on the table, right?
01:44She's been chasing him for years.
01:46Technically, she got what she wanted.
01:47The laughter inside the room got noticeably louder.
01:51I pressed my teeth into my lower lips so hard I tasted copper.
01:54Both hands balled into white-knuckled fists.
01:56It took every single ounce of willpower I had to stay upright,
02:00to not just crumple right there in the doorway.
02:02Footsteps echoed down the hall toward me.
02:04I snapped back to reality and bolted,
02:06shoving my way blindly through the corridor.
02:09In my panic, I threw myself into the nearest bathroom stall
02:12and locked the door behind me.
02:17The tears came like a dam breaking.
02:20Grief and humiliation pouring out all at once.
02:23Asher's words played on a loop inside my head.
02:25Every single syllable.
02:27They shredded what little self-worth I had left.
02:29If I hadn't heard it with my own ears,
02:31I never could have believed that the guy talking in there
02:34was the same one who had held me like I was something precious just last night.
02:38Turns out you don't actually need to love someone to do that with them.
02:41Turns out you can look a girl dead in the eyes,
02:44make her feel everything,
02:45and still be lying through every single second of it.
02:48The thing I thought was my happily ever after
02:51was just a punchline someone else got to laugh at.
02:54The more I cried, the worse it got.
02:56But I couldn't make a sound.
02:57My whole body was shaking so hard I could barely breathe.
03:01A long time passed.
03:02My phone buzzed.
03:03It was Asher.
03:04Just grab an Uber back.
03:06My crew's got a party tonight, and it'd be awkward to bring you.
03:09I didn't reply.
03:10He sent a follow-up.
03:11Also, pick up a morning after pill yourself.
03:14I'm busy today.
03:15Don't forget to take it.
03:16Good girl.
03:16I stared at those two texts for a very, very long time without moving.
03:21From dusk until nearly sunrise,
03:23Asher had been relentless, like he had a point to prove.
03:26By the end, we were both completely wrecked.
03:28And right before he drifted off with his arms around me,
03:31he'd murmured the same thing twice.
03:32We weren't really prepared for your first time.
03:38I'll get you the pill first thing tomorrow morning.
03:40He'd even given me this little lecture about how girls needed to take care of themselves,
03:45said the morning after pill was really important,
03:47and that skipping it could mess up my body.
03:50And I had actually thought,
03:51This is it.
03:52He's the one.
03:53He's being so responsible.
03:55I finally got my person.
03:57And now, the clarity hit me like a slap.
03:59I dug my nails into my own palm until the pain forced the tears to stop.
04:04I wiped my face,
04:05straightened my glasses,
04:06and walked out of that bathroom like nothing had happened.
04:10I was too embarrassed to go to a real pharmacy,
04:12so I ordered the pill online instead.
04:14When the delivery guy left the package at my door,
04:17I waited another long stretch before I could even bring myself to go get it.
04:21I swallowed it with a mouthful of my own tears,
04:23and then I just sat down on the floor,
04:26staring at nothing,
04:27completely empty.
04:31Ever since Asher's family had moved next door to mine,
04:34I'd trailed after him like a shadow,
04:36and that had been 10 years of my life.
04:38I had genuinely never stopped to think about what a world without him would even look like.
04:43I couldn't picture it,
04:44but starting right now,
04:45I was going to have to figure it out alone.
04:47Outside the floor-to-ceiling window,
04:49the neighborhood lights blinked on,
04:51one by one,
04:52and then off again.
04:53At some point,
04:54I really didn't know how long I'd been sitting there,
04:57Mia called me on FaceTime.
05:02Stella,
05:03why didn't you come to the party tonight with Ashler?
05:05That girl Chloe from the AP track is here,
05:07by the way.
05:07She has been all over him since you didn't show.
05:10It's actually disgusting.
05:11In the dark corner of the VIP booth,
05:13Asher and Chloe were sitting so close together,
05:16their thighs were touching.
05:17Chloe had worn a crop top and a curb-hugging miniskirt,
05:20long tan legs,
05:22tiny waist.
05:23Even the way they were talking looked more like whispering secrets than having a conversation.
05:27I could feel the charged energy between them through the screen.
05:31Something in my chest locked up.
05:33He'd only said he wanted to chase her this afternoon,
05:35and apparently,
05:36tonight was all the time he needed.
05:39The game switched to truth or dare,
05:41and Chloe drew a card that said,
05:45Do a push-up challenge with a guy hovering over me.
05:50Predictably,
05:51Asher volunteered before anyone else could open their mouth.
05:54Chloe blushed bright pink and lay back against the couch cushions.
05:57Asher planted his hands on either side of her.
06:00He was controlled the whole time,
06:01deliberately keeping his body from making contact with hers,
06:05until the very last one.
06:07His arms gave out,
06:08and his entire weight came down directly on top of her.
06:11The room erupted.
06:13Everyone screaming so loud,
06:15the walls practically shook.
06:16Asher's and Chloe's faces went even redder.
06:19With the whole crowd going absolutely feral around them,
06:22Asher just tilted his head down and kissed her.
06:24Not a quick peck,
06:25a full, deep,
06:27for the whole room to see kiss.
06:29Three full minutes before they finally pulled apart.
06:31For all three of those minutes,
06:33I sat completely frozen,
06:35eyes locked on the screen,
06:36barely remembering to breathe.
06:38I wanted to cry so badly.
06:40Oh my God, Stella,
06:42did you see that?
06:44He literally kissed her in front of everyone.
06:46He is so into her.
06:49Mia shook her head and stepped out of the booth,
06:51turning the camera as she went.
06:52Don't be mad at me.
06:53If I hadn't shown you,
06:55you never would have let yourself move on.
06:56I'm not mad at you.
06:58I'm only mad at myself for wasting so many years.
07:02I had always assumed that the spot beside Asher was mine,
07:05that it would always be mine.
07:07I am so done with him,
07:08Stella.
07:08Who does he think he is,
07:09watching you love him for years,
07:11acting all innocent like he had no idea,
07:12just letting you fall deeper and deeper?
07:14You saw what I showed you.
07:16I'm not giving myself the chance.
07:18Mia,
07:19I've already decided I'm going to California with you.
07:22But you have to promise me you'll keep it quiet for now.
07:25Right after I said it,
07:26I flipped open my laptop right in front of her.
07:28Without a single second of hesitation,
07:31I changed my first choice school to the one in California,
07:34one minute before the deadline.
07:36Mia basically levitated off the ground.
07:38She'd been begging me for months to apply to the same school as her.
07:42But back when we started high school,
07:44Asher and I had made this pact.
07:45We'd work hard together
07:47and go to his dream school up in Boston after graduation.
07:50It had his aerospace engineering program,
07:52the one he'd been obsessed with since we were kids.
07:55So even though I didn't particularly love the idea of brutal winters,
07:58and even though that school was a technical institute
08:01that didn't even have my major,
08:03I'd spent three years treating it like my only option.
08:06Our families had lived next door to each other for so long
08:08that both sets of parents thought it was basically a done deal
08:11we'd end up at the same school.
08:13Everyone, including me,
08:15assumed Asher and I would just naturally become official
08:18once we got to college.
08:19But right now, I couldn't think of a single reason to still go to Boston.
08:23Because honestly, after today,
08:25if I kept following Asher around the way I always had,
08:28I would never be able to look myself in the mirror again.
08:31I just needed to go somewhere far away.
08:33It didn't even matter where,
08:35as long as he wasn't there.
08:36He was going east,
08:37so I was going west.
08:39Before bed,
08:40I filled the entire bathtub.
08:41I needed to scrub every inch of myself clean.
08:44But when I took off my clothes,
08:46the bruises on my skin were still so vivid,
08:49it made me flinch.
08:51The memories from last night rushed back before I could stop them.
08:54The burning heat of his skin pressed against mine.
08:57The sound of his breath ragged and warm against my ear.
09:01The ghost of it all still seemed to linger in the air around me.
09:04I shook my head hard,
09:05physically trying to shake myself free of it.
09:07Then, I grabbed the roughest loofah I owned
09:10and scrubbed myself raw,
09:12over and over,
09:13until my whole body was flushed pink and singing.
09:17I was trying,
09:18clumsily,
09:19desperately,
09:20to erase what was officially
09:21the worst night of my entire life.
09:24The result was that the pain kept me awake the whole night anyway.
09:28Asher didn't text.
09:29For the first time in six years,
09:31ever since we both got phones,
09:33we didn't say goodnight to each other.
09:34That was fine.
09:35It was going to happen eventually anyway.
09:37Tonight was as good a time as any to start letting go.
09:40I didn't fall asleep until just before sunrise,
09:43drifting in and out of exhaustion.
09:45Early the next morning,
09:46while I was still buried in sleep,
09:48I felt,
09:49in that foggy space between dream and awake,
09:52the soft press of lips against my forehead.
09:55I jolted awake.
09:56The first thing my eyes landed on
09:58was a jaw I knew too well,
09:59and the soft dip of a throat right above me.
10:02The scent hit me next.
10:04Cedarwood.
10:04That cologne he always wore.
10:06And underneath it,
10:07the faintest trace of something new.
10:09Something citrusy that wasn't his.
10:12Right.
10:12I'd completely forgotten that Asher still knew my front door code.
10:16Seeing me awake,
10:17he shifted lower
10:18and tilted his face down toward my lips.
10:20I shoved him back with both hands
10:22and scrambled to the far edge of the bed.
10:23He blinked,
10:24then let out a short laugh like I'd surprised him.
10:29Since when are you shy?
10:30I didn't answer.
10:32I just yanked the blanket over my head
10:34and disappeared under it.
10:35Asher started talking.
10:39Stella, seriously.
10:40You didn't say goodnight,
10:41you turned your phone off
10:42and now you're hiding under a blanket?
10:44Still avoiding me?
10:46Then he just lifted the blanket
10:48and slid himself right in.
10:51Hey, how many times have I told you?
10:53You can't skip breakfast.
10:55I ran half a mile
10:57to get you those croissants
10:58from your favorite place
10:59and I stood in line forever.
11:01Want to get up and eat now?
11:03Or get eaten?
11:07Reality crashed back in
11:08and I fought like my life depended on it.
11:11But I'm 5'2 in sneakers
11:12and Asher is literally 6'2 of solid muscle.
11:15I honestly could not figure out
11:17what game he was playing.
11:18He had Chloe now,
11:19so what was he even doing in my bed?
11:21I tried to push him away
11:23only to be held even tighter.
11:25Let go of me!
11:27After what felt like forever
11:28of thrashing around,
11:29I was panting
11:30and had accomplished nothing
11:32except being held even tighter.
11:33What's the tantrum about?
11:36You're mad because I didn't bring you
11:38to the party last night?
11:39Over something that small?
11:40I said nothing.
11:41He buried his face
11:42in the curve of my neck
11:44and actually laughed.
11:45Let me guess.
11:47Mia told you something?
11:48It was a party game, Stella.
11:50Is it really worth
11:51getting jealous over?
11:52You're doing that thing
11:53you always do.
11:55I get slightly close
11:56to another girl
11:57and you go all silent
11:58and sulky.
11:59I was so furious
12:00I couldn't even form a sentence.
12:02I dredged up something
12:03from a self-defense unit
12:04in gym class,
12:05snapped my knee up
12:06hard between us
12:07and the second he doubled over,
12:09I launched myself
12:10out of that bed.
12:11Stella.
12:12Asher's jaw went tight,
12:13his whole face going red.
12:14I grabbed a hoodie
12:16off the floor
12:16and yanked it on
12:17over my pajamas.
12:19I did not want to be
12:20in any room with him
12:21and especially
12:23not my bedroom.
12:33Hey, you took that pill
12:35yesterday, right?
12:36Because I really don't need
12:36that kind of drama
12:37and I definitely don't want
12:38to have that conversation
12:39with your parents.
12:48Come on,
12:49be reasonable.
12:50Eat something
12:50before you pick a fight.
12:54You know
12:55your stomach's sensitive.
13:04What is actually going on?
13:07Stella,
13:07even a tantrum
13:08needs a reason.
13:09There have to be
13:10some limits here.
13:11I kept my voice
13:12ice cold
13:13and set it flat.
13:14I don't deserve
13:15to have any say.
13:17Asher snapped.
13:18He slammed the cup down
13:19on the coffee table
13:20so hard it cracked.
13:21The plastic split
13:23and the smoothie
13:23spilled out in a wave,
13:25soaking into the rug.
13:26What is that supposed to mean?
13:29Who do you think you are, Stella?
13:32Who do you think you are?
13:36We slept together once.
13:37It was consensual.
13:38And now you think
13:39you own me?
13:41Do you know
13:42how suffocating that is?
13:44His voice had a viciousness
13:45to it I had never heard before.
13:47The second he finished speaking
13:49my eyes flooded.
13:50No warning,
13:51no buildup,
13:52just instant tears.
13:54Yesterday's humiliation
13:55came crashing back,
13:56hitting me all over again
13:57like a fresh wound.
13:59Asher clearly
13:59hadn't expected me
14:00to cry this hard this fast.
14:02He looked genuinely thrown,
14:04scrambling for what to do.
14:05He crouched down
14:06and said he was sorry.
14:08I'm sorry.
14:09I drank too much last night
14:10and I was out of line just now.
14:12He reached out
14:12to wipe my face,
14:13but I twisted away,
14:15putting distance between us.
14:16His hand froze in midair,
14:18hovering there.
14:18He opened his mouth
14:19to keep trying,
14:20but his phone buzzed.
14:21He glanced at the screen once
14:23and his entire expression shifted
14:25and he stood up
14:26and moved toward the door.
14:27I've got something urgent.
14:28Take a minute to calm down.
14:30We're going to college soon.
14:32You can't keep throwing fits
14:34like a little kid
14:35who's going to put up with that.
14:42He hadn't been gone 30 minutes
14:44when Mia sent me a screenshot.
14:46Chloe's Instagram story
14:47just said,
14:48I'm hungry
14:48and breakfast appeared like magic.
14:51Pretty sure this is mutual now
14:52with a little heart.
14:53The photo was of the exact same croissants
14:56that were sitting on my kitchen counter.
14:58I didn't respond.
14:59I just quietly wiped my eyes,
15:01got on my hands and knees
15:02and started cleaning up
15:03the smoothie Asher had spilled.
15:05I scrubbed for a long time
15:07before I accepted
15:08with a hollow feeling in my chest
15:09that the stain had soaked
15:11all the way through the wool rug
15:12and wasn't coming out.
15:14So I just threw the whole rug
15:15in the trash.
15:16It didn't matter anyway.
15:17That rug was something
15:18Asher and his parents
15:19had spent an entire afternoon
15:21picking out on a family trip
15:23and he'd lugged it home
15:24in his carry-on himself.
15:25Then I went through everything else.
15:27Every single thing
15:29Asher had ever left at my place.
15:30Every gift he'd given me over the years.
15:33Every photo of the two of us.
15:34Every small souvenir and keepsake.
15:37It took the rest of the day
15:38but I packed every last bit of it up
15:40and threw it all out.
15:44I doubted he'd want any of it back anyway.
15:47After he left that day
15:48the silence stretched.
15:50Days went by
15:50and he didn't reach out at all.
15:52Things with Chloe were probably going great.
15:54Or maybe he was waiting for me
15:56to be the one who caved first.
15:57In every fight we'd ever had
15:59I was always the one who broke first.
16:01Every single time.
16:03No exceptions.
16:04But this time I didn't go looking for him.
16:06And I didn't have any reason to.
16:07I blocked him on everything.
16:09Texts, all social media,
16:11changed my front door code
16:12and deleted every account
16:13he might use to find me.
16:15After that I called my parents
16:16who were both traveling for work.
16:18I told them I wanted to spend the summer
16:20visiting my aunt
16:21on the other side of the country.
16:22My plan was to stay there
16:24until school started.
16:25Then head straight to California with Mia
16:27instead of coming home.
16:28Other than Mia
16:29no one else knew yet
16:30that I'd changed my application.
16:32This plan should work perfectly.
16:34There was basically zero chance
16:36I'd run into Asher
16:37if I pulled this off right.
16:38My mom actually laughed over the phone.
16:41Ha ha ha.
16:42Ooh, so you and Ashler
16:44are taking a vacation together?
16:45I made up a quick excuse
16:47and didn't go into detail.
16:48I just told her
16:49I wanted to visit my aunt and grandma.
16:51I begged my dad
16:52to book me the first available flight
16:54and I was ready to leave
16:55that same night.
16:56Of course,
16:57because the universe has no chill,
16:59I ran into Asher's mom
17:00right at our front door
17:01on my way out.
17:03She grabbed my arm warmly
17:04and started chattering.
17:06Stella, honey,
17:07where's Asher?
17:08He's not going to pick you up?
17:09Didn't he say he was taking you
17:11on that ski trip?
17:13Go have fun.
17:15I am 100% behind you two.
17:18I was confused.
17:19I had mentioned once
17:21during senior year
17:22that I'd always wanted
17:23to try skiing in Colorado
17:24just offhand.
17:26But given everything
17:27that had happened between us,
17:28the idea of going on a trip together
17:30seemed completely impossible.
17:32I was running out of time though,
17:34so I said something vague
17:35and non-committal
17:36and slipped away.
17:37What I never expected
17:38was that at the airport,
17:39I would come face to face
17:41with Asher.
17:44He was with a group of friends.
17:46Chloe was there too.
17:47Asher had her designer bag
17:48in one hand
17:49and his other arm
17:50slung around her shoulder.
17:51They were trailing
17:52at the back of the group.
17:53Every so often,
17:54Chloe would lean her head
17:55toward him to say something
17:57and every single time,
17:59without any hesitation,
18:00he would bend down to listen.
18:01He never did that with me.
18:03Asher had always been taller than me
18:05and the gap had only gotten bigger
18:07over the years.
18:08When it was the two of us,
18:09I was always the one
18:10bouncing on my toes,
18:11craning my neck up
18:12just to catch his eyes.
18:14Turns out,
18:14for the right person,
18:16he would be the one who bends.
18:18I breathed in slowly.
18:19I told myself
18:20I needed to have
18:21some dignity about this.
18:22Whatever he did
18:23was none of my business.
18:25If I let myself overthink it,
18:26I deserved to be slapped.
18:28But there seemed to be
18:29only one path to the gate.
18:31All I could do
18:31was stay far enough behind
18:33that he wouldn't notice me.
18:34By some miracle,
18:35we eventually reached
18:36a fork in the terminal
18:37where the path split.
18:39Asher seemed to get
18:39distracted around that.
18:41He made a bunch of calls,
18:42none of which seemed
18:43to go through,
18:43and then spent a long time
18:45staring at his phone.
18:47Eventually,
18:47he borrowed someone else's phone,
18:49his face dark and unreadable,
18:51and disappeared
18:51into a nearby bathroom.
18:53A moment later,
18:54my phone rang,
18:55unknown number.
18:57So you've got
18:58a real attitude on you this time.
19:00You're just not
19:00going to come to me first?
19:02You actually blocked me?
19:05Fine, keep it up.
19:06See how great you do
19:08when we're both in Boston
19:09and you don't know anyone
19:10and there's no one
19:10to look out for you.
19:11Asher came out swinging,
19:12rattling off complaints
19:14in one long,
19:15irritated breath.
19:16I had absolutely nothing
19:17to say to any of that,
19:19but Asher seemed
19:20to get angrier
19:20at my silence.
19:22I'm done talking about this.
19:23Just unblock me.
19:25I'm heading out of the country
19:26for a couple days
19:27with some friends.
19:28Probably won't have
19:29great reception.
19:32Don't get all weepy about it.
19:34I couldn't even be bothered
19:35to say a single word back.
19:36I hung up
19:37and turned my phone off.
19:39From across the terminal,
19:40I watched Asher
19:41stalk back to his group,
19:43his expression stormy.
19:44He grabbed Chloe's hand,
19:45didn't hesitate for a second,
19:47and walked toward
19:48the left gate.
19:49I let out a long breath,
19:50turned around,
19:51and headed right.
19:54With my family,
19:55I performed happiness,
19:56and honestly,
19:57I got pretty good at it.
19:58I deliberately kept myself
20:00slammed with plans,
20:01filling every gap in the day
20:03so I had no room to spiral.
20:05I definitely didn't add Asher back
20:07the way he demanded,
20:08but Mia and some others
20:09kept me updated
20:10on his life anyway.
20:11Asher and his friends
20:12had apparently been
20:13skiing in Colorado for days.
20:15For some reason,
20:16he was suddenly posting
20:17on social media
20:18every single day,
20:19which was completely
20:20unlike the version of him
20:22who used to go months
20:23without posting anything.
20:24Sometimes,
20:25it was slow motion clips
20:26of him carving down the slopes.
20:28Sometimes,
20:28it was food
20:29and late night parties,
20:30but mostly,
20:31it was big group shots
20:32of everyone clowning
20:33around in the snow,
20:34even though I genuinely
20:35didn't want to see it.
20:36Somehow,
20:37people kept sending it
20:38to me unprompted.
20:39Everyone was very casually curious
20:41about why I hadn't gone
20:42with Asher.
20:43I didn't know what to say,
20:44so I just told people
20:46I had family stuff going on.
20:47Mia was the only one
20:48who openly called him
20:50a trash human.
20:51Everyone else around me
20:52seemed to be constantly
20:53stopping themselves
20:54from saying something.
20:55I knew,
20:55they'd probably figured out
20:57something was wrong.
20:59In every single group photo
21:01Asher posted,
21:02he and Chloe were glued together,
21:03inseparable.
21:04But that spot beside him
21:06had been mine for years,
21:07just mine.
21:08Every time I saw
21:09one of those photos,
21:10my face stayed completely neutral,
21:12but something deep
21:12in my chest would clench.
21:14He was the first person
21:15I ever fell for,
21:16someone I had genuinely,
21:18completely,
21:19embarrassingly loved
21:20for such a long time.
21:21In the middle of the night,
21:22alone,
21:23I would fall apart a little,
21:24and sometimes,
21:25I felt this stubborn,
21:26stupid feeling
21:27that I wasn't ready
21:28to let go.
21:29But every time
21:30that feeling started rising,
21:31I'd replay his words
21:32and give myself a mental slap.
21:34I'd repeat it to myself
21:35over and over.
21:37Stella,
21:37don't be pathetic.
21:38That's the fastest way
21:39to make yourself
21:40even less worth respecting.
21:42Just hold on a little longer.
21:43Once the detox period was over,
21:45everything would be fine.
21:46We went a full month
21:47without any contact.
21:49The longest we'd ever gone
21:50since the day we met.
21:51Distance and time
21:52turned out to be
21:53the best medicine.
21:54I ground through the worst of it
21:55and came out the other side.
21:57Just when I'd reached the point
21:58where I didn't think about him
21:59every hour of every day,
22:01he switched to a new number
22:02and called me
22:03from across the country.
22:07So you're just that bold,
22:09running off without me
22:10and staying this long?
22:13Summer's almost over,
22:14Stella.
22:15Did you forget you promised
22:17to go on a trip with me?
22:18Maybe it was because
22:19we'd gone so long
22:20without talking,
22:21but underneath all the complaints,
22:23his voice had this edge to it,
22:25almost careful.
22:26I still didn't want
22:27to talk to him.
22:27I was about to hang up
22:28when his mom snatched the phone.
22:30Stella, sweetheart,
22:32are you having fun out there?
22:34This boy won't tell me anything.
22:36I only just found out
22:37you two had a fight.
22:39Don't be too hard on him, honey.
22:41When you come back,
22:42I'll make him apologize
22:43to your face.
22:45Oh, and Ashler just got
22:46his acceptance letter today.
22:48Yours should come soon, too.
22:50Have you thought about
22:51when you'll come home
22:52for your going away party?
22:54I've got a little surprise planned.
22:56Ashler's mom had been
22:57like a second family to me
22:58since I was little.
22:59I couldn't bring myself
23:00to hang up on her,
23:01so I stayed on
23:02and let her talk.
23:03I'm not really planning
23:04to have a party.
23:05My parents are always traveling,
23:07and honestly,
23:08we can just do a video call
23:09thing with family.
23:10I probably won't be back
23:12before school starts anyway.
23:13I'll just come home
23:14right before move in.
23:15I didn't even finish
23:16the sentence
23:17before Ashler
23:17took the phone back.
23:18His breathing was heavy.
23:20I could feel the anger
23:21coming through
23:21from 3,000 miles away.
23:25Stella,
23:26I'm literally the one
23:27reaching out first here.
23:28How much longer
23:29are you going to keep this up?
23:31If you don't come back,
23:32don't expect me
23:33to wait for you.
23:34I'll head to Boston
23:35without you.
23:36He delivered the threat
23:37in this cold,
23:39flat voice,
23:39waited and waited,
23:41without getting
23:41the answer he wanted.
23:43My acceptance letter
23:44had already arrived at home.
23:46When they saw
23:46the school name
23:47on the letter,
23:48my parents finally found out
23:49I'd changed my application.
23:51My mom video called me.
23:52Hi, baby.
23:54Why didn't you talk to us
23:55before changing
23:56your application?
23:57Does Asher know?
23:58His mom called this morning
24:00asking if your letter
24:01had come yet.
24:02I had no words.
24:07Baby,
24:08how are we supposed
24:08to feel okay
24:09about you going
24:09all the way
24:09to California alone?
24:11Aren't you the kid
24:12who's terrified of bugs
24:13and can't handle heat?
24:15You really think
24:16you can manage?
24:17Don't call me
24:17to come deal with it
24:18for you.
24:19That school has a lot
24:20to offer
24:21and Mia will be
24:22going there too.
24:23You don't have to worry.
24:25Is this about a fight
24:26with Asher?
24:27Because that's not a reason
24:29to switch schools
24:30across the country.
24:32What if you change
24:33your mind in a week
24:34and want him back?
24:35Then what?
24:36It's hard at your caption.
24:38I just decided
24:39to say it straight.
24:41Asher has a girlfriend.
24:43Mom,
24:44Dad,
24:44I have my own life
24:47and I don't want
24:47to just orbit
24:48around his forever.
24:50So please support
24:51my choice
24:52and please keep it
24:53between us for now.
24:55My parents looked
24:56at each other
24:57for a long time
24:58without speaking.
24:59The only thing
25:00they asked
25:00was that I come home
25:01sooner rather than later.
25:03School was starting soon
25:04and they wanted
25:05time with me.
25:06My mom mentioned
25:07that Asher had gone off
25:08on another trip
25:09with friends
25:09the very next day
25:10after getting
25:11his acceptance letter.
25:12He'd been gone
25:13for days.
25:14His mom was apparently
25:15calling my mom regularly
25:16asking when I was
25:17flying back.
25:18On the day I landed
25:19my parents showed up
25:20at the airport
25:21dressed like they were
25:22going somewhere formal.
25:23I woke up from my nap
25:24on the drive
25:25I realized
25:26they'd pulled up
25:27to a five star hotel.
25:29I was still half asleep
25:30when my mom grabbed my arm
25:32and steered me
25:32through the lobby
25:33and right there
25:34standing in the middle of it
25:36was Asher
25:36who I hadn't seen
25:38in months.
25:39My feet
25:39stopped moving
25:40on their own.
25:41Asher was in a
25:42perfectly fitted
25:43black suit
25:44leaning casually
25:45beside the lobby fountain
25:46like something
25:47out of a magazine spread.
25:48Just one summer
25:49was all it took.
25:50The boyish edge
25:51had faded
25:51and he looked
25:52exactly like
25:53the version of him
25:54I used to imagine
25:55when I tried
25:55to picture him
25:56grown up.
25:57Something complicated
25:58twisted in my chest.
25:59I'd avoided
26:00this moment for months
26:01and now here it was
26:02sprung on me
26:03with no warning.
26:04Stella
26:05it's Asher's
26:06going away party.
26:07We figured
26:08we'd pick you up
26:08and bring you
26:09straight here.
26:10You said you didn't
26:11want a party
26:12of your own
26:12right?
26:13Ashley asked
26:14his parents
26:15to set the date
26:15for the day
26:16you got back
26:17so you can
26:17kind of both
26:18celebrate together.
26:19Asher seemed
26:19to sense something
26:20because right then
26:21he casually glanced
26:22over
26:23and his gaze
26:24landed directly
26:25on mine.
26:25My heart
26:26lurched sideways
26:27still felt like
26:28the floor dropped
26:29out
26:29but Asher
26:30moved first.
26:31He took one
26:31step toward us
26:32and then Chloe
26:33appeared out of
26:34nowhere
26:34and slipped her
26:35arm through his.
26:36She pulled him
26:37along with her
26:37smiling wide
26:38and walked
26:39right over
26:40to us.
26:41Oh my gosh
26:42Stella
26:43you're back!
26:44I've been wanting
26:45to properly
26:45meet you
26:46forever.
26:47I always saw
26:48you around
26:49with Asher.
26:50I'm from the
26:51AP track
26:52so we never
26:53officially met
26:54and
26:55I'm genuinely
26:56sad about that.
26:58Yeah
26:59Asher looked
26:59vaguely uncomfortable.
27:01Why would you
27:01want to get
27:02to know her?
27:03She's just a
27:04drama queen
27:05who throws fits.
27:06I honestly
27:07thought she'd
27:08stayed in her
27:08aunt's state
27:09forever.
27:09The world
27:10will keep on
27:11turning and
27:11your name
27:12will be
27:12forgotten.
27:13I had nothing
27:14to say to that.
27:14There was
27:15genuinely no
27:16response.
27:17Chloe's silver
27:17bodycon dress
27:18was covered
27:19in tiny crystals
27:20that caught
27:20every bit of
27:21light in the
27:22room.
27:22I glanced
27:22down at
27:23myself.
27:23White tea,
27:24jeans,
27:25sneakers,
27:25hair that
27:26still had a
27:26slight slept-on
27:27wave from
27:28the plane.
27:28I looked like
27:29I'd made a
27:29wrong turn on
27:30the way to
27:30a convenience
27:31store.
27:31I brought
27:32a dress for
27:32you baby.
27:33You can go
27:33change in the
27:34powder room.
27:34I nodded,
27:35then shook
27:35my head.
27:36There was no
27:37point.
27:37This wasn't
27:38my party.
27:39Asher kept
27:39staring at me
27:40with this
27:40unreadable
27:41expression.
27:42Chloe's eyes
27:43kept flicking
27:43back and
27:44forth between
27:44the two of
27:45us.
27:45Luckily,
27:46a few more
27:46guests arrived
27:47just then,
27:47and Chloe
27:48immediately pulled
27:49Asher over
27:50to greet
27:50them.
27:50Like she was
27:51already the
27:51hostess.
27:52Mom,
27:52let's go
27:53in.
27:53I'm a
27:53little hungry.
27:56It was a
27:57small gathering.
27:58Asher had
27:58only invited
27:59close family
28:00and a
28:00handful of
28:01friends.
28:01Every single
28:02person I
28:02knew looked
28:03visibly shocked
28:04when they
28:04saw me walk
28:05in.
28:05I just
28:06smiled and
28:06said hello
28:07and acted
28:08like I
28:08didn't notice,
28:09but nobody
28:09was subtle
28:10about their
28:10curiosity.
28:11The people
28:12watching energy
28:12was off the
28:13charts.
28:16I slipped
28:16out to the
28:17terrace for
28:17some air
28:18and could
28:18immediately
28:19hear a
28:19small group
28:20in the
28:20hallway
28:20cornering
28:21Asher for
28:22the gossip.
28:24Wait,
28:25didn't Stella
28:26fall out with
28:26you over the
28:27Chloe thing?
28:27Why is she
28:28here?
28:28Did she
28:28come crawling
28:29back?
28:30She's just
28:31quick-tempered
28:31and in a mood.
28:32She always
28:33comes around
28:33after a couple
28:33of days.
28:34We've known
28:34each other
28:34our whole
28:35lives.
28:35She's not
28:35actually
28:36going to
28:36cut me
28:36off.
28:37Stella's
28:38genuinely
28:38great.
28:38She's been
28:39ride or
28:39died for
28:39you for
28:40years.
28:40All of us
28:40are low-key
28:41jealous of
28:41how she
28:44is.
28:45Honestly,
28:46Stella's
28:46amazing,
28:47but it
28:47also feels
28:48kind of
28:48limiting.
28:49I'm young.
28:50I don't
28:50want to
28:50only ever
28:51have one
28:51person.
28:52That's
28:52too
28:52predictable.
28:53I need
28:54to see
28:54what else
28:54is out
28:55there.
28:55But that
28:56doesn't
28:56mean
28:56anything
28:56has to
28:57end.
28:57As long
28:57as I
28:58know
28:58there's
28:58always
28:58a
28:58light
28:59on
28:59at
28:59home
28:59for
28:59me.
29:00You're
29:01such
29:01a
29:01player.
29:02I'd
29:02heard
29:02enough.
29:03I
29:03backed
29:03away
29:04as
29:04quietly
29:04as
29:04I
29:05could.
29:05The
29:05evening
29:06breeze
29:06hit
29:06my
29:06face
29:07and I
29:07felt
29:07my
29:08eyes
29:08go
29:08hot.
29:09I
29:09just
29:09hated
29:10myself
29:10for
29:10spending
29:11so
29:11many
29:11years
29:12being
29:12blind
29:12to
29:13who
29:13he
29:13actually
29:14was.
29:14I
29:15was
29:15in
29:15absolutely
29:16the
29:17worst
29:17mood
29:17of
29:18the
29:18entire
29:18summer.
29:19But
29:19Asher's
29:20mom
29:20was
29:20thrilled
29:21to
29:21see
29:21me
29:21and
29:22spent
29:22most
29:22of
29:22dinner
29:23doting
29:23on
29:23me
29:23refusing
29:24to
29:24let
29:24go
29:25of
29:25my
29:25hand.
29:25Stella,
29:26Boston
29:26can
29:27get
29:27really
29:27dry
29:27in
29:27winter.
29:28Let
29:29Asher
29:29take
29:29you
29:29shopping
29:30tomorrow
29:30and
29:30stock
29:30up
29:31on
29:31some
29:31good
29:31moisturizers.
29:32Oh,
29:33it's
29:33fine.
29:33There
29:33are
29:34plenty
29:34of
29:34shops
29:34out
29:34there
29:35and
29:35online
29:35shopping
29:35is
29:36so
29:36easy.
29:36She
29:36nodded
29:37warmly
29:37and
29:38turned
29:38to
29:38my
29:38mom.
29:39I
29:39already
29:39picked
29:40out
29:40all
29:40the
29:40bedding
29:41for
29:41the
29:41dorms,
29:42got
29:42a set
29:42for
29:42Asher
29:43and one
29:43for
29:43Stella
29:43at the
29:44same
29:44time,
29:44all
29:44four
29:45seasons
29:45covered.
29:46Boston
29:46winters
29:46are
29:47brutal.
29:47I
29:47went
29:48with
29:48really
29:48thick
29:49comforters
29:49and got
29:50a few
29:50winner
29:50quotes
29:51for
29:51Stella
29:51too.
29:52Don't
29:52you
29:52worry
29:52about
29:52a
29:52thing.
29:53My
29:53mom
29:53made
29:54a
29:54face
29:54like
29:54she'd
29:55swallowed
29:55something.
29:56All
29:56of
29:56that
29:56would
29:56be
29:56completely
29:57useless
29:57in
29:58California.
29:58But
29:59she
29:59didn't
29:59want
29:59to
29:59embarrass
30:00anyone,
30:00so
30:01she
30:01thanked
30:01her
30:01graciously.
30:02Chloe,
30:03sitting
30:03nearby,
30:04looked
30:04like
30:04she
30:04was
30:04biting
30:05through
30:05her
30:05own
30:05cheek.
30:06Asher's
30:06mom
30:06didn't
30:07seem
30:07to
30:07notice.
30:08She
30:08kept
30:08right
30:08on
30:08talking,
30:09addressing
30:09both
30:10of
30:10us.
30:11Once
30:11you're
30:12both
30:12in
30:12Boston,
30:13you'll
30:13be
30:13each
30:14other's
30:14family.
30:15Asher,
30:15you better
30:16take good
30:16care of
30:17Stella and
30:17stop making
30:18her upset.
30:18You hear
30:19me?
30:19Asher threw
30:19a glance
30:20my way
30:20with zero
30:21expression.
30:23She
30:23doesn't need
30:24anyone to
30:24look after
30:24her.
30:25She's
30:25perfectly
30:25capable
30:26of flying
30:26on her
30:26own.
30:27The
30:27table
30:27got a
30:28little
30:28stiff,
30:28and
30:29that's
30:29when
30:29Chloe
30:29smoothly
30:30cut
30:30in.
30:30Oh,
30:31don't
30:31worry,
30:31my
30:31school
30:32is
30:32in
30:32Boston
30:32too.
30:33I'll
30:33be
30:33there
30:33to
30:33look
30:33after
30:34Asher.
30:34And
30:35Stella
30:35will be
30:35all the
30:36way
30:36in
30:36California
30:36anyway,
30:37so
30:37it's
30:38not
30:38really
30:38practical.
30:40Before
30:40she
30:40even
30:41finished
30:41the
30:41sentence,
30:42Asher
30:42and
30:42his
30:43parents'
30:43faces
30:43changed.
30:44California?
30:45Every
30:46single
30:46one of
30:47them
30:47looked
30:47at
30:48me
30:48and
30:48asked
30:48it
30:49at
30:49the
30:49same
30:49time.
30:51Asher,
30:51you
30:51didn't
30:52know?
30:52It's
30:53been
30:53on
30:53the
30:53school's
30:53honor
30:54board.
30:54Oh,
30:55wait,
30:55you
30:55haven't
30:56been
30:56back
30:56to
30:56campus.
30:57Every
30:57pair
30:57of
30:57eyes
30:58at
30:58the
30:58table
30:58swiveled
30:59to
30:59me.
30:59Under
31:00the
31:00weight
31:00of
31:00all
31:00that
31:01attention,
31:01I
31:02quietly
31:02nodded.
31:03My
31:03mom
31:03stepped
31:03in
31:04to
31:04explain.
31:05Stella
31:06made a
31:06last-minute
31:06decision
31:07to change
31:07her
31:08application.
31:09She's
31:09going
31:09to a
31:10great
31:10school
31:10in
31:11California
31:11and
31:12it's
31:13actually
31:13the
31:13perfect
31:14program
31:14for
31:15her.
31:15Asher
31:15didn't
31:15believe
31:16it.
31:16He
31:16grabbed
31:16my
31:16hand
31:17and
31:17made
31:17me
31:17look
31:17at
31:18him.
31:19Stella,
31:20I
31:20literally
31:21watched
31:21you fill
31:21out
31:22that
31:22application.
31:23We
31:23were
31:23going
31:24to
31:24the
31:24same
31:24school.
31:25His
31:25grip
31:25was
31:25tight
31:26enough
31:26to
31:26actually
31:27hurt
31:27and
31:27it
31:27pushed
31:28me
31:28over
31:28the
31:28edge.
31:29Yeah,
31:30I
31:30changed
31:30it.
31:31What
31:31does
31:31it
31:31have
31:32to
31:32do
31:32with
31:32you?
31:33Asher
31:33looked
31:33stunned
31:33for a
31:34second,
31:34then
31:34started
31:35laughing
31:35like I'd
31:36said
31:36something
31:36ridiculous.
31:37You're
31:37joking.
31:38You're
31:38literally
31:39the
31:39girl
31:39who
31:40jumps
31:40onto
31:40my
31:40back
31:41at
31:41the
31:41sight
31:41of
31:41a
31:41bug
31:42and
31:42you're
31:42moving
31:43to
31:43California?
31:46I
31:46pulled
31:47out
31:47my
31:47phone,
31:48found
31:48the
31:48crystal
31:48clear
31:49photo
31:49of
31:49my
31:49acceptance
31:50letter
31:50and
31:51held
31:51it
31:51up
31:51in
31:51his
31:51face.
31:52Asher
31:52took
31:52the
31:53phone,
31:53zoomed
31:54in,
31:54zoomed
31:55out,
31:55read
31:55it
31:55over
31:56and
31:56over
31:57and
31:57finally
31:58let
31:58out
31:58a
31:58laugh
31:58that
31:59had
31:59no
31:59humor
31:59in
32:00it
32:00at
32:00all.
32:01In
32:01the
32:01middle
32:01of
32:01everyone's
32:02gaspss,
32:02he
32:02grabbed
32:03my
32:03wrist
32:03and
32:04pulled
32:04me
32:04out
32:04of
32:04the
32:05dining
32:05room.
32:07He
32:07pulled
32:08me
32:08into
32:08a
32:08side
32:08room
32:09and
32:09locked
32:09the
32:09door
32:09behind
32:10us.
32:10Asher
32:10planted
32:11himself
32:11against
32:12it,
32:12cutting
32:12off
32:12any
32:13escape
32:13and
32:13came
32:14at
32:14me
32:14hard.
32:15Stella,
32:15I
32:15cannot
32:16believe
32:16you.
32:16You're
32:17so
32:17mad
32:17that
32:17you
32:17just
32:18forget
32:18our
32:18whole
32:19plan,
32:19go
32:19behind
32:19my
32:20back
32:20and
32:20commitment
32:21to
32:21a
32:21school
32:21across
32:22the
32:22country.
32:22I
32:22lifted
32:22my
32:23head.
32:23I
32:23took
32:23a
32:24breath
32:24and
32:24made
32:24myself
32:25look
32:25him
32:25straight
32:25in
32:25the
32:34eye.
32:41color
32:41drained
32:42from
32:42his
32:42face.
32:43What
32:43is
32:43that
32:43supposed
32:43to
32:43mean?
32:44Could
32:44you
32:44not
32:45phrase
32:45things
32:45like
32:45that?
32:46We're
32:46adults.
32:47That
32:48night
32:48was
32:48completely
32:49mutual.
32:49Are
32:49you
32:49seriously
32:50still
32:50bringing
32:50that
32:51up?
32:51I
32:51was
32:51embarrassed,
32:52but
32:52I
32:52held
32:52his
32:53gaze
32:53anyway.
32:53Asher,
32:54if
32:54you
32:54like
32:54someone
32:55else,
32:55you
32:55could
32:55have
32:55just
32:55said
32:56so,
32:56I'm
32:57not
32:57so
32:57shameless
32:57that
32:57I
32:58would
32:58have
32:58kept
32:58throwing
32:58myself
32:59at
32:59you.
32:59But
33:00you
33:00knew
33:00you
33:00didn't
33:00like
33:01me
33:01back
33:01and
33:01you
33:01just
33:01watched
33:02me
33:02walk
33:02straight
33:02into
33:03the flame.
33:03That
33:03was
33:03fun
33:03for
33:04you,
33:04wasn't
33:04it?
33:04Even
33:05now,
33:05he
33:05still
33:05didn't
33:06get
33:06it.
33:06People
33:06don't
33:07say
33:07goodbye
33:07until
33:08they've
33:08completely
33:08run
33:09out
33:09of
33:09hope.
33:09He
33:10flushed.
33:10Something
33:11in
33:11what
33:11I
33:11said
33:11hit.
33:12His
33:12face
33:12went
33:25If
33:26you're
33:26choosing
33:26to
33:27walk
33:27away
33:27from
33:27what
33:27we
33:27have
33:28then
33:29we
33:29don't
33:29have
33:29to
33:29be
33:29friends
33:29either.
33:30And
33:30with
33:30just
33:31that
33:31he
33:31turned
33:32and
33:32walked
33:32out
33:32of
33:32the
33:32hotel.
33:40From
33:41that
33:41day
33:41until
33:42the
33:42day
33:42I
33:42left
33:42for
33:42school
33:43I
33:43never
33:43saw
33:44Asher
33:44again.
33:45Mia
33:45sent
33:45me
33:45a
33:45screenshot
33:46of
33:46his
33:46official
33:47couple's
33:47post
33:47with
33:48Chloe.
33:48I
33:48deleted
33:49it
33:49without
33:49even
33:50opening
33:50it.
33:50Every
33:51mutual
33:51friend
33:51connected
33:52to
33:52him
33:52I
33:55any
33:56of
33:56it
33:56anymore.
33:59The
33:59only
34:00exception
34:00was
34:01the
34:01day
34:01I
34:01flew
34:01out
34:01to
34:02California.
34:02Of
34:03course
34:03because
34:03the
34:03universe
34:04has
34:04a
34:04terrible
34:05sense
34:05of
34:05humor
34:05I
34:06walked
34:06straight
34:06into
34:07Asher
34:07at
34:07the
34:07airport
34:08again
34:08with
34:08Chloe
34:09still
34:09glued
34:09to
34:10his
34:10side.
34:10When
34:11we
34:11passed
34:11each
34:11other
34:11he
34:12said
34:12a
34:12stiff
34:12hello
34:13to
34:13my
34:13parents
34:13and
34:14kept
34:14walking
34:14clearly
34:15still
34:15angry.
34:16He
34:16didn't
34:16look
34:16at
34:17me
34:17once.
34:17We
34:17scattered
34:18in
34:18different
34:18directions
34:19and
34:19neither
34:19of
34:20us
34:20looked
34:20back.
34:21Right
34:21before
34:21I
34:21got
34:21to
34:22the
34:22security
34:22line
34:22I
34:23glanced
34:23over
34:23and
34:24caught
34:24Asher
34:24at
34:25his
34:25gate
34:25about
34:25to
34:26board.
34:26He
34:26gave
34:26me
34:27one
34:27cold
34:27flat
34:28look
34:28and
34:29then
34:29disappeared
34:29through
34:29the
34:30door
34:30without
34:30turning
34:31around.
34:31The
34:31person
34:32who
34:32had
34:32been
34:32part
34:32of
34:33every
34:33chapter
34:33of
34:34my
34:34growing
34:34up
34:34we
34:35were
34:35finally
34:35completely
34:36done.
34:37Different
34:37destinations
34:38at
34:38last
34:38and I
34:39hope
34:39yours
34:39goes
34:40well.
34:42I
34:42that
34:42a
34:43long
34:43long
34:44time
34:44passed
34:44without
34:45either
34:45of
34:45us
34:45hearing
34:46a
34:46single
34:46thing
34:46about
34:47the
34:47other.
34:47I
34:48specifically
34:48asked
34:49my
34:49parents
34:49not
34:50to
34:50bring
34:50up
34:50anything
34:51related
34:51to
34:51Asher
34:52or
34:52his
34:52family
34:53in
34:53front
34:53of
34:53me.
34:53Over
34:54New
34:54Year's
34:54break
34:54a
34:55girl
34:55from
34:55our
34:55high
34:56school
34:56came
34:56to
34:56visit.
34:57He's
34:57nothing
34:57like
34:57that
34:58cold
34:58focused
34:59straight
35:00A
35:00guy
35:00he
35:00was
35:00in
35:00high
35:01school.
35:01He's
35:01completely
35:02different.
35:05Honestly
35:05if you
35:06ran
35:12table
35:13and
35:13smoothly
35:13changed
35:14the
35:14subject
35:14and
35:15the
35:15girl
35:15dropped
35:15it.
35:16We
35:16did
35:16the
35:16New
35:16Year's
35:17countdown
35:17by
35:17the
35:17water
35:18and
35:18Mia
35:18told
35:18me
35:19to
35:19make
35:19a
35:19wish.
35:20Hope
35:21New
35:21Year
35:21Syria
35:22parent
35:22healthy
35:22can
35:23keating
35:23under
35:23the
35:23world.
35:24I
35:24realized
35:25it
35:25was
35:25the
35:25first
35:25wish
35:26I'd
35:26ever
35:26made
35:26that
35:26had
35:27absolutely
35:27nothing
35:27to
35:28do
35:28with
35:28him.
35:28For
35:29a
35:29full
35:29six
35:30years
35:30of
35:30my
35:30life
35:30every
35:31single
35:31wish
35:32I
35:32made
35:32had
35:32involved
35:33Asher
35:33in
35:33some
35:33way.
35:35Mia
35:36Happy
35:36New
35:37Year!
35:37I
35:38felt
35:38genuinely
35:38happy.
35:39I
35:39knew
35:40I
35:40had
35:40finally
35:41actually
35:41completely
35:42let
35:42go.
35:43The
35:44first
35:44winter
35:45break
35:45of
35:45college
35:45I
35:46missed
35:46my
35:46parents
35:47so
35:47badly
35:47I
35:48couldn't
35:48stand
35:48it.
35:49The
35:49second
35:49my
35:49last
35:50exam
35:50was
35:50done
35:50I
35:51was
35:51on
35:51the
35:51first
35:51flight
35:52home.
35:52What
35:53I
35:53didn't
35:53expect
35:53was
35:54that
35:54Asher
35:54had
35:55come
35:55to
35:55the
35:55airport
35:55with
35:56my
35:56parents
35:56to
35:56pick
35:57me
35:57up.
35:57After
35:58half
35:58a
35:58year
35:58apart
35:59we
35:59had
35:59both
35:59changed.
36:00He
36:00was
36:00thinner
36:01had
36:01dyed
36:01his
36:02hair
36:02but
36:02was
36:02still
36:03honestly
36:04annoyingly
36:05good
36:05looking.
36:05I've
36:06always
36:06had
36:06terrible
36:06judgment
36:07about
36:07people
36:07but
36:08my
36:08taste
36:08has
36:09never
36:09been
36:09the
36:09problem.
36:10Why
36:10else
36:10would
36:10I
36:11have
36:11been
36:11trailing
36:11after
36:12him
36:12since
36:12we
36:12were
36:12five?
36:13Hey
36:13there
36:13big
36:14bro
36:14Asher.
36:14He
36:14stared
36:15at
36:15me
36:15like
36:15I
36:15had
36:15spoken
36:16a
36:16different
36:16language.
36:21We
36:26ran
36:27I
36:27immediately
36:27launched
36:28into
36:28all
36:28the
36:29funny
36:29things
36:29that
36:29had
36:29happened
36:30at
36:30school
36:30and
36:31my
36:31parents
36:31were
36:31the
36:31whole
36:32ride.
36:32No
36:33one
36:33was
36:33paying
36:33any
36:33attention
36:34to
36:34Asher.
36:36You've
36:37worked
36:37hard.
36:38Please
36:38send
36:38our
36:38regards
36:39to
36:39your
36:39parents.
36:39He
36:39seemed
36:39like
36:40he
36:40wanted
36:40to
36:40come
36:40inside
36:41when
36:41we
36:41got
36:41home
36:41but
36:42all
36:42three
36:42of
36:42us
36:42politely
36:43turned
36:43him
36:43down
36:43together.
36:44My
36:44grandma
36:45and
36:45my
36:45aunt
36:45had
36:46both
36:46come
36:46back
36:46to
36:46celebrate
36:47the
36:47holidays
36:47that
36:48year.
36:48New
36:48Year's
36:49Eve
36:49was
36:49loud
36:49and
36:50packed
36:50with
36:50family.
36:51After
36:51the
36:51big
36:51dinner
36:52the
36:52older
36:52relatives
36:53parked
36:53themselves
36:53in front
36:54of the
36:54TV
36:54while
36:55the
36:55rest
36:55of
36:55us
36:56were
36:56teaching
36:56each
36:56other
36:56card
36:57games.
36:57That's
36:58when
36:58Asher
36:58showed
36:58up at
36:59the
36:59door
36:59with
36:59his
36:59parents
37:00arms
37:00full
37:00of
37:00bags.
37:01Our
37:01house
37:01is
37:02too
37:02quiet
37:02tonight.
37:03Hope
37:04you
37:04don't
37:04mind
37:04us
37:04crashing
37:05your
37:05game.
37:09Our
37:10house
37:10is
37:10too
37:10quiet
37:10tonight.
37:11Hope
37:11you
37:11don't
37:12mind
37:12us
37:12crashing
37:12your
37:12game.
37:13Asher's
37:13mom
37:13laughed
37:14as
37:14she
37:14walked
37:14in.
37:15Every
37:15year
37:15growing
37:16up
37:16the
37:16two
37:16families
37:17had
37:17spent
37:17the
37:17holiday
37:18together.
37:18This
37:19year
37:19because
37:19of
37:20everything
37:20that
37:20had
37:20happened
37:21my
37:21mom
37:21had
37:22turned
37:22down
37:22the
37:22invitation
37:23to
37:23share
37:23the
37:23big
37:23dinner.
37:24But
37:25you
37:25can't
37:25exactly
37:25turn
37:26people
37:26away
37:26once
37:27they're
37:27at
37:27your
37:27door.
37:28Asher
37:28settled
37:29himself
37:29naturally.
37:30My
37:30cousins
37:30had
37:30no
37:30idea
37:31about
37:31any
37:31of
37:31the
37:32drama
37:32and
37:32kept
37:32teasing
37:33us
37:33like
37:33they
37:33always
37:34had.
37:34I
37:35laughed
37:35it
37:35off.
37:36It's
37:37not
37:37what
37:37you
37:37think.
37:38Asher's
37:38expression
37:39went
37:39a little
37:39flat.
37:40When
37:40midnight
37:40came
37:41and
37:41we
37:41all
37:41went
37:42outside
37:42for
37:42sparklers
37:44he
37:45caught
37:45my
37:45arm
37:46and
37:46looked
37:46like
37:47he
37:47was
37:47working
37:47up
37:47to
37:47say
37:48something.
37:48My
37:48phone
37:49rang.
37:49My
37:49face
37:50went
37:50a
37:50little
37:50warm.
37:51It
37:51was
37:51a
37:51guy
37:51from
37:52one
37:52of
37:52my
37:52clubs
37:52at
38:01he
38:01was
38:01good
38:02looking
38:02too.
38:02Not
38:03in
38:03that
38:03cold
38:03aloof
38:04way.
38:05More
38:05like
38:05the
38:05guy
38:05who's
38:06always
38:06laughing
38:06at
38:07everything
38:07and
38:07making
38:08you
38:08laugh
38:08right
38:08along
38:09with
38:09him.
38:09He
38:09never
38:10ran
38:10out
38:10of
38:10things
38:10to
38:10say
38:11and
38:11he
38:11had
38:11a
38:12way
38:12of
38:12making
38:12me
38:12completely
38:13lose
38:13it
38:13at
38:14the
38:14most
38:14random
38:14things.
38:15We
38:15talked
38:15for a
38:16while
38:16longer
38:16and
38:17when
38:17he
38:17finally
38:17hung
38:18up
38:18Asher
38:18was
38:18standing
38:19right
38:19behind
38:19me
38:20with
38:20a
38:20face
38:20like
38:20a
38:21thundercloud.
38:23Boyfriend?
38:25Not
38:26yet
38:26I
38:26guess.
38:30Not
38:30yet
38:30I
38:31guess.
38:31I
38:31thought
38:32about
38:32it
38:32and
38:32answered
38:33honestly.
38:33I
38:33assumed
38:34he
38:34was
38:34done
38:34but
38:35then
38:35he
38:35spoke
38:35again.
38:36Long
38:37distance
38:37guys
38:37aren't
38:38always
38:38reliable.
38:39You
38:39should
38:39find
38:40someone
38:40local
38:40someone
38:41you
38:41actually
38:41know.
38:44I
38:45nodded.
38:45Something
38:46in that
38:46seemed
38:46to land
38:47somewhere
38:47tender.
38:48You're
38:48right.
38:48You
38:48really
38:49can't
38:49tell
38:49with
38:49people.
38:50I'll
38:50keep
38:50my
38:50guard
38:51up.
38:52Asher
38:52went
38:52quiet
38:53for
38:53a
38:53very
38:53long
38:54time.
38:54I
38:54assumed
38:55he
38:55was
38:55done.
38:56I
38:56didn't
38:57think
38:57too
38:57hard
38:57about
38:57it.
38:58Thanks
38:59for
38:59the
38:59advice
38:59big
39:00bro.
39:00You
39:01should
39:01figure
39:01out
39:01your
39:01own
39:01situation
39:02too.
39:02He'd
39:03always
39:03been
39:03unpredictable
39:04like
39:04that.
39:05After
39:05that
39:05I
39:05spent
39:06the
39:06rest
39:06of
39:06break
39:06bouncing
39:07around
39:07visiting
39:08relatives
39:08with
39:08my
39:09grandma
39:09and
39:09parents
39:10and
39:10then
39:10we
39:10did
39:10a
39:10little
39:11road
39:11trip.
39:23Asher
39:24what
39:24are
39:24you
39:24doing
39:24here?
39:25I
39:26wanted
39:26to
39:26see
39:26what
39:26your
39:26school
39:27looks
39:27like
39:28and
39:29check
39:29if
39:29you're
39:30actually
39:30doing
39:30okay
39:30out
39:30here.
39:32Really
39:32well
39:33actually
39:33the
39:33food
39:34here
39:34is
39:34amazing
39:35you
39:35should
39:35look
39:35up
39:35some
39:35spots
39:36and
39:36try
39:36them.
39:37Stella
39:38can't
39:39you
39:39come
39:39eat
39:39with
39:39me
39:40just
39:40once?
39:43Sorry
39:43about
39:44that
39:44man
39:44I've
39:45already
39:45got
39:45Stella
39:45booked
39:46you'll
39:46have
39:46to
39:46get
39:46in
39:46line.
39:47Stella
39:49you
39:49came
39:49back
39:49to
39:50school
39:50this
39:51early
39:51for
39:51him?
39:54Sorry
39:54Asher
39:55we're
39:55heading
39:56out
39:56to
39:56eat
39:56I'll
39:56see
39:56you
39:57let's
39:58go
39:58didn't
39:58you
39:58say
39:59the
39:59place
39:59was
39:59far
39:59stop
40:00standing
40:00there
40:00Asher
40:01was
40:01still
40:02standing
40:02at
40:02the
40:02campus
40:03gate
40:03watching
40:03us
40:04and
40:04under
40:04the
40:04shadow
40:05of
40:05the
40:05trees
40:05he
40:06looked
40:06incredibly
40:07alone
40:07he
40:08suddenly
40:09started
40:09showing
40:09up
40:09in
40:10my
40:10world
40:10constantly
40:11I
40:11never
40:11found
40:12out
40:12what
40:12excuse
40:12he
40:13gave
40:13his
40:13school
40:13but
40:14he
40:14kept
40:14appearing
40:15in
40:15California
40:15out
40:16of
40:16nowhere
40:16he
40:16started
40:17showing
40:17up
40:17with
40:17gifts
40:18flowers
40:18bags
40:19jewelry
40:19and
40:20I
40:20turned
40:20every
40:21single
40:21one
40:21down
40:22when
40:22there
40:22was
40:22nothing
40:23else
40:23to
40:23do
40:23he'd
40:24just
40:24sit
40:24outside
40:24my
40:25dorm
40:25building
40:25and
40:26refuse
40:26to
40:26leave
40:27no
40:27matter
40:27how
40:27many
40:28times
40:28I
40:28asked
40:28whenever
40:29he
40:29managed
40:30to
40:30catch
40:30me
40:30he'd
40:31fallen
40:31to
40:31step
40:31beside
40:32me
40:32to
40:32every
40:32single
40:33class
40:33then
40:33follow
40:34me
40:34to
40:34the
40:34dining
40:34hall
40:35Jake
40:35was
40:35visibly
40:36miserable
40:36about
40:37the
40:37whole
40:37thing
40:37Asher's
40:38mom
40:38had
40:38been
40:38calling
40:39and
40:39messaging
40:39me
40:40from
40:40multiple
40:40angles
40:41she
40:41begged
40:41me
40:42to
40:42please
40:42talk
40:42some
40:43sense
40:43into
40:43him
40:43I
40:44was
40:44beyond
40:44done
40:45I
40:45genuinely
40:46could
40:46not
40:46figure
40:46out
40:47what
40:47Asher
40:47thought
40:47he
40:48was
40:48doing
40:50Stella
40:51why
40:51does
40:51Jake
40:52get to
40:52pursue
40:52you
40:52but
40:52I
40:53don't
40:54son
40:54of
40:54white
40:55distass
40:56he's
40:57known
40:57you
40:57for
40:57what
40:57a
40:58few
40:58months
40:58how
40:59many
40:59years
40:59have
41:00I
41:00known
41:00you
41:02no
41:02one
41:02in
41:02this
41:02world
41:03understands
41:03you
41:03the
41:04way
41:04I
41:04do
41:04not
41:05even
41:05your
41:05parents
41:05and
41:06no
41:06one
41:06is
41:07better
41:07for
41:07you
41:07than
41:07me
41:13Ashler
41:14do
41:14you
41:15genuinely
41:15not
41:15remember
41:16what
41:16you
41:16did
41:18ask
41:18yourself
41:18honestly
41:20did
41:20you
41:20ever
41:21actually
41:21treat
41:21my
41:22feelings
41:22like
41:22they
41:22mattered
41:25you
41:25just
41:25liked
41:26the
41:26ego
41:26boost
41:26of
41:27having
41:27me
41:27chase
41:27after
41:28you
41:28you
41:28knew
41:29no
41:29matter
41:29what
41:29you
41:29did
41:30I
41:30wouldn't
41:30leave
41:31so
41:31you
41:31just
41:31did
41:32whatever
41:32you
41:32felt
41:32like
41:33with
41:33my
41:33heart
41:35yeah
41:35I
41:35did
41:35some
41:36things
41:36wrong
41:36back
41:36then
41:37I
41:38was
41:38young
41:38I
41:38thought
41:38the
41:39whole
41:39world
41:39was
41:39waiting
41:39for
41:40me
41:40and
41:41I
41:41didn't
41:41want
41:41to
41:41feel
41:41like
41:41I
41:41was
41:42tied
41:42to
41:42any
41:42one
41:42person
41:43I
41:44owe
41:44you
41:44a
41:44real
41:44apology
41:45Stella
41:46I'm
41:46sorry
41:48but
41:48even
41:48if
41:48you
41:49treat
41:49me
41:49like
41:49a
41:49stranger
41:50can
41:50I
41:50at
41:50least
41:50have
41:51the
41:51chance
42:00share
42:00everything
42:00with
42:00honestly
42:01since
42:02leaving
42:02you
42:03I
42:03figured
42:03out
42:03that
42:04real
42:04mutual
42:05feelings
42:05don't
42:06require
42:06you
42:06to
42:06shrink
42:06yourself
42:07down
42:07to
42:07nothing
42:07I
42:08can
42:08just
42:08be
42:08myself
42:09my
42:09mood
42:10doesn't
42:10have
42:10to
42:10orbit
42:11around
42:11someone
42:11else's
42:12and
42:12when
42:12I
42:12realized
42:12that
42:14I
42:14started
42:14to
42:14wonder
42:15if
42:15what
42:15I
42:15felt
42:15back
42:16then
42:16was
42:16ever
42:16real
42:17love
42:17or
42:18just
42:18something
42:18a
42:18younger
42:19more
42:19naive
42:19version
42:20of
42:20we
42:20invented
42:22but
42:24but
42:26we
42:27made
42:27promises
42:29we
42:30said
42:30we'd
42:30go
42:30to
42:31college
42:31together
42:31study
42:32abroad
42:32together
42:32travel
42:33the
42:33whole
42:33world
42:33together
42:34are
42:34you
42:34gonna
42:34walk
42:35away
42:35from
42:35all
42:35of
42:35that
42:35too
42:37Stella
42:37are
42:37you
42:37gonna
42:37leave
42:38all
42:38this
42:38behind
42:38too
42:39you
42:40broke
42:40the
42:40promises
42:41first
42:42and
42:43I've
42:43already
42:43found
42:44someone
42:44I
42:44want
42:45to
42:45do
42:45all
42:45of
42:45those
42:45things
42:46with
42:48stop
42:49Stella
42:49please
42:50just
42:50stop
42:55maybe
42:56you're
42:56not
42:56actually
42:56in
42:57love
42:57with
42:57me
42:57maybe
42:58you
42:58just
42:58can't
42:59stand
42:59the
42:59idea
42:59of
43:00losing
43:01Asher
43:01honestly
43:02it's
43:03time
43:03for
43:03you
43:03to
43:03move
43:04on
43:04too
43:07I
43:07didn't
43:08wait
43:08for
43:08a
43:08response
43:09Jake
43:09had
43:09been
43:09waiting
43:10across
43:10the
43:10street
43:10for
43:11a
43:11while
43:11I
43:11jogged
43:12over
43:12and
43:12he
43:12immediately
43:13reached
43:13down
43:14and
43:14took
43:14my
43:14hand
43:17finally
43:17shook
43:17the
43:17X
43:20did
43:20you
43:20tell
43:20him
43:21I've
43:21got
43:21full
43:21bug
43:21patrol
43:22rights
43:22now
43:22he
43:22doesn't
43:23get
43:23a
43:23single
43:23one
43:25everyone
43:26is
43:26going
43:26through
43:26their
43:26own
43:27goodbyes
43:27as
43:28for
43:29us
43:30it's
43:30finally
43:30completely
43:31over
43:32fading
43:33away
43:33like
43:34the
43:34rain
43:34everyone
43:35in the
43:35middle
43:35of
43:35their
43:35own
43:36goodbye
43:36and
43:36just
43:37like
43:37that
43:37the
43:38two
43:38of
43:38us
43:38were
43:38finally
43:39completely
43:40over
43:40scattered
43:41like
43:41rain
43:42we
43:45you
43:45you
43:45you
43:45you
43:45you
43:45You
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