- 16 minutes ago
A Fantastic Relationship Full Movie [Full Movie] [Full Version]Full EP - Full
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00:00:37Hey, so, uh, I kind of have a surprise for you.
00:00:44A surprise?
00:00:46Yeah, sort of like a gift.
00:00:49You got me a gift?
00:00:51Aw.
00:00:53Wait, did I miss an occasion or something?
00:00:56Did I forget our anniversary?
00:00:57No, no, I just thought you might get a kick out of it.
00:01:00Oh, wow.
00:01:04You know, don't get too excited.
00:01:06I mean, you might hate it.
00:01:07Okay, fine.
00:01:07I will not judge it until I decide if I hate it or not.
00:01:23What do you think?
00:01:26Pretty nuts, right?
00:01:29What is that?
00:01:31It's a huge tattoo.
00:01:34Of us.
00:01:37So, uh, thoughts?
00:01:43I hate it.
00:01:55Alexa, stop!
00:02:01So, uh, what do you hate about it?
00:02:03Everything.
00:02:04Okay.
00:02:05I would really love to know who the tattoo artist is because, wow.
00:02:08What?
00:02:09Brian, I look horrendous.
00:02:10How did you think I was going to like a tattoo of me looking like Sloth from the Goonies?
00:02:13Okay, I feel like you're attacking me now.
00:02:15I feel like you're attacking me with that tattoo.
00:02:17Okay, oh my god.
00:02:19Will you just stop?
00:02:20So, do you deny that that tattoo is stupid?
00:02:23No, but I thought that was part of the fun.
00:02:24No, this would only be fun if it turned out that a toddler had drawn it with a sharpie.
00:02:29Oh my god.
00:02:29You know, what I did was impulsive and probably kind of dumb, but honestly, you know, how you're
00:02:33reacting is so much worse.
00:02:35Well, my reaction is far less worse than that abomination.
00:02:40You know, whenever I go and do something, you always default to this negative, cynical energy
00:02:45that translates into you belittling me.
00:02:47So, anything you do, no matter how insane or bizarre, I'm just supposed to be like, cool?
00:02:52I'm so happy that you have a picture of me looking like a melted wax figurine permanently
00:02:56on your torso.
00:02:57That is so far from the reality of this situation.
00:03:00You have been dating me for two years, okay?
00:03:02You absolutely knew that this was going to be my reaction.
00:03:06I didn't.
00:03:06Yeah, you did.
00:03:07I didn't.
00:03:08I think that you did this on purpose so that you could once again play the victim.
00:03:12I am never the victim.
00:03:14Oh, you are always the victim.
00:03:16Okay, well, if I'm always the victim, then that makes you always the assailant.
00:03:19Oh, so I'm the assailant now.
00:03:20No, you're not an assailant.
00:03:22You're a black hole.
00:03:23And I, like, I don't mean that as a fat joke because, you know, you're in good shape.
00:03:26What I mean is you are a void that sucks up the things I offer, like romantic gestures
00:03:31or compliments or vacation ideas, and you crush them into, like, this infinitely small mass
00:03:36that light can't even escape from.
00:03:38Your compulsive desire to pulverize everything positive I do, it, like, defies the laws of
00:03:43gravity and physics.
00:03:44I would rather be a black hole than a middle school emo crybaby.
00:03:49Every single challenge in life, instead of going, hey, maybe let me meet this with some
00:03:53kind of level of composure and dignity, I'm gonna instead throw a big old tantrum and
00:03:58blame my girlfriend.
00:03:59Look at me.
00:04:00Look at me.
00:04:01I'm Katie.
00:04:02I'm a robot.
00:04:03I work every minute of every day to avoid addressing my strange relationships and personal
00:04:07life.
00:04:07On my deathbed, I'm gonna regret spending my whole life completing meaningless tasks.
00:04:12I work a job that I have trouble describing what it is I actually do.
00:04:16I am overcompensating in order to win the approval of my parents.
00:04:21Oh, great, great.
00:04:22Yeah, maybe you should show the neighbor your nifty new tattoo.
00:04:25You know, I bet they're gonna be more supportive than my girlfriend.
00:04:31What the fuck is going on in here, man?
00:04:33I'm sorry, we're having a bit of an argument, you know, we'll try and keep it down.
00:04:36Alexa, stop.
00:04:37Hey, man, I got kids upstairs, man.
00:04:39They don't need to hear this toxic shit.
00:04:41They don't need that.
00:04:42Like I said, I apologize, we'll keep it down.
00:04:44Alexa, stop.
00:04:45Who in the hell fights over this new wave shit?
00:04:46The Alexa broke.
00:04:48Honestly, I don't like it either.
00:04:49It's her music.
00:04:50Listen, man, this is supposed to be a quiet, family-friendly duplex.
00:04:53We promise we're gonna be very family-friendly from now on.
00:04:56Alexa, it's okay!
00:05:14I get it, man.
00:05:16We all go through this.
00:05:18We all have fights.
00:05:19But you guys, your fights are so different, man.
00:05:22They're cold.
00:05:23I mean, they're sad.
00:05:25I mean, fuck, they're empty.
00:05:26God damn, you guys are fucking sad.
00:05:44Oh, I think we can both agree that was pretty embarrassing.
00:05:49Look, this has become unsustainable.
00:05:53I assume you're talking about our relationship?
00:05:56Yeah.
00:05:57You know, I just don't see any reality where this works long-term.
00:06:02Yeah, that might be the case here.
00:06:08So, uh, what's next?
00:06:14Well, this might be a little inappropriate, but, um...
00:06:19Is it okay if I keep the apartment?
00:06:22I mean, all my mail for my business comes here, and I spent all the time finding this place and
00:06:27decorating it, and you didn't do much.
00:06:30No, no, that don't make sense.
00:06:34Great.
00:06:38I'm really regretting the tattoo.
00:06:52A lot of people don't want to know the truth.
00:06:54Someone's fallen on the streets.
00:06:55Every puppet has a master.
00:06:56It's Chase Bank.
00:06:57It's the Bush administration.
00:06:58People either want to be controlled or they want to be in control.
00:07:00I know what I want.
00:07:02Now, I've got someone to embrace.
00:07:05Ports are good.
00:07:07I think I'm doing what I was expecting, but it's fine.
00:07:09I think I go through all the annual courses from last year.
00:07:12I've been forever wanting to be a part.
00:07:17Don't you feel the times are coming?
00:07:20Because I feel it so strong.
00:07:23I've been on hold on, baby.
00:07:27Don't you feel the times are coming?
00:07:30When it feels so right to dance in the moonlight, baby, with you?
00:07:46Hey.
00:07:47Uh, yeah.
00:07:48So I am going to come to your house right now.
00:07:53Yeah.
00:07:54You love her.
00:07:56Yeah, it's just like, I think of you.
00:08:16Don't you feel the times are coming?
00:08:20Cause I feel it so strong.
00:08:23I've been on hold on, baby
00:08:26Don't you feel the times I'm calling
00:08:30When it feels so right
00:08:33To dance in the moonlight, baby, with you
00:08:56It's like the moment he showed me the tattoo
00:08:58I knew I could never look at him the same
00:09:00I mean, he might as well have thrown an old lady down a flight of stairs
00:09:03It's like I can't unsee it
00:09:04Totally
00:09:05Just imagining that idea
00:09:06Hopping into his head
00:09:08And him going, hmm, this is a good idea
00:09:09And then just like scampering into a tattoo parlor
00:09:12And getting it done
00:09:12Kind of makes me sick
00:09:13Totally, it's sickening
00:09:15And you should have seen the way that he showed me the tattoo
00:09:18It was like he was this weak little puppy
00:09:20Just begging for my approval
00:09:23Puppy, gross
00:09:24You know, and it's not like he has to have it together all the time
00:09:27But it's like, have a backbone sometimes, man
00:09:30It's I am your girlfriend, I am not your mother
00:09:34Mother
00:09:37Are you even listening?
00:09:40Yeah
00:09:44Okay, Katie
00:09:45Have you ever tried dating someone that seems less like a guy and more like an animal?
00:09:51What?
00:09:52Katie
00:09:53Right now I am seeing this guy that just feels dangerous
00:09:58He works out all the time
00:09:59He does MMA
00:10:00He takes steroids
00:10:01He drives recklessly through neighborhoods with like kids in the streets
00:10:04He has all these guns
00:10:07And his dick is just
00:10:10It's huge
00:10:12Honestly, I think it's too big
00:10:13But I don't know, actually, I think it suits him
00:10:16Anyway, what I'm trying to say is after years of dating, like the down-to-earth self-aware type, right?
00:10:21I am just refreshed dating someone who feels like he's gonna fly off the handle
00:10:26Like last week we were at this restaurant and he just started screaming at our server
00:10:29I mean he totally lost it
00:10:30Thought he was gonna like break a bottle and start stabbing people
00:10:33It was like a movie
00:10:36The point is
00:10:39It was really hot
00:10:42And I think, Katie
00:10:44Deep down inside
00:10:46Whether you want to admit it or not
00:10:49You need something like that in your life
00:10:55I think I'm good on that
00:10:58I think what I really need is someone who knows what he wants
00:11:00I know what I want
00:11:01I don't compare myself to other people
00:11:03I don't judge myself
00:11:04I just want someone to meet me on that level
00:11:06I want a man who is as secure in his life as I am
00:11:16Yeah
00:11:18I'll be right back
00:11:27Natalie!
00:11:28Oh my god, hey
00:11:29How are you, girl?
00:11:31I'm good
00:11:32I'm so good
00:11:35It's good to hear from you
00:11:36It has been way too long
00:11:37Yeah
00:11:38Yeah, I think the last time we saw each other was mom's awkward Zoom call
00:11:42Ugh, I knew the day of reckoning would come when she learned how to use video chat
00:11:47So, how are you?
00:11:49What's going on?
00:11:51Well, I actually wanted a call to let you know I'm in town
00:11:57Really?
00:12:00Wow!
00:12:01Yeah, I'm sorry for not letting you know sooner but it was sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing
00:12:06where Luke and I wanted to visit some friends
00:12:07How long are you guys in town for?
00:12:09Only a few days actually
00:12:12Oh no!
00:12:13Yeah, I wish I could stay longer but you know how things get
00:12:17Anyway, I know this is so, so last minute and feel free to say no but Luke and I are
00:12:23going to this really small dinner party tonight at a friend's place and I wanted to see if you wanted
00:12:27to come
00:12:32You still there?
00:12:34Yeah!
00:12:35Yeah, did you say tonight?
00:12:37Yeah, again, it's totally fine if you can't make it I just wanted to get a chance to see you
00:12:44Yeah!
00:12:44Yeah, I can be there, no problem
00:12:47You sure?
00:12:50Absolutely
00:12:50Oh my god, that's so great I can't wait to hear everything that's going on with you
00:12:57Yeah, I'm so excited
00:12:59Great!
00:13:00Wait, oh, are you still with, um, I'm so sorry I forget his name
00:13:05Brian
00:13:05Yes, Brian, are you still together?
00:13:14Yeah, yeah, we're, we're totally, we're so, we're so, we're so good
00:13:19Great, well he's more than welcome to come along, I'd love to finally meet him
00:13:25We'll both be there
00:13:26Awesome!
00:13:27Well, I've got to run but I'll text you if you do
00:13:29Okay, um, I'm so excited
00:13:32I can't wait to see you, Katie
00:13:35Bye!
00:13:44Oh my god, have you seen Rachel's new wedding photos? Barf!
00:14:01So, you're saying your relationship would have fallen apart anyway because her sense of humor isn't as good as yours?
00:14:09No, I would never say that
00:14:11Okay
00:14:12I mean her sense of humor, to be honest, definitely doesn't match mine
00:14:15I mean she never got like subtle jokes and ironic gestures, obviously
00:14:20And yeah, that probably would have led to us eventually breaking up
00:14:24But I feel like it's more about her inability to communicate
00:14:27You think she doesn't listen to you?
00:14:29No, obviously she listened, she just didn't listen, you know?
00:14:34For example, I have told her on multiple occasions, you know, I'm allergic to wine
00:14:39I know, it's weird, but I am
00:14:41I get flush, my stomach acts up, I feel like complete garbage
00:14:45But like clockwork, once a month, she'll be like
00:14:47Oh my god, we gotta try this new place, Cafe Pazazza
00:14:50I mean, it honestly feels like a slap in the face when she does that
00:14:53Yeah, man, that's super disrespectful
00:14:55No, it's not super disrespectful
00:14:57It just shows she has no consideration for anyone but herself
00:15:01I just think she is deeply emotionally insecure
00:15:05You know, she's in a relationship, but what's even the point?
00:15:08She never wants to do anything fun
00:15:10We never go on trips because of her work
00:15:12She never really listens
00:15:13She says I love you, but after dating someone for two years
00:15:16That's mandatory
00:15:18I don't think she has a definition of what love is for her
00:15:22And to be perfectly honest, my love might be too strong for her
00:15:25You know, my love is pretty strong
00:15:28I sort of wonder if she can't fully comprehend the power of my love
00:15:36You know?
00:15:40Yeah, um...
00:15:43Yeah, there's definitely a lot to unpack there
00:15:48You know, it's tough for me to be sort of neutral in all this because...
00:15:52Katie and I haven't really seen eye to eye on most things
00:15:58The one piece of advice I can give you is that
00:16:01Even though you're going through a tough time
00:16:04I think what happened is good
00:16:06I think this is a great opportunity for you to find some change in your life
00:16:09You know, during the next chapter
00:16:12But it's important to remember that when you read a book
00:16:14You don't go back and read a chapter twice
00:16:16You move on, you continue with the story
00:16:20Because I think you're going to find there's some way better chapters ahead of you
00:16:24Because honestly, that last one, I don't think was that great
00:16:28Whatever you do, don't go back because that is unhealthy and toxic
00:16:31In my opinion, pretty unlikable, so...
00:16:34Move on
00:16:37You know, Derek, you're completely wrong
00:16:42Because I already have
00:16:46Okay, great
00:16:53Oh, hello, Katie
00:16:55Hello, Derek
00:16:56Is Brian here?
00:16:57He is, but he doesn't want to speak to you right now
00:16:59Hey, actually, I'm going to talk with her for a minute
00:17:01What are you doing? We just got done talking about chapters
00:17:03No, I know, don't worry, it's cool
00:17:04No, it's not cool, it's not cool at all
00:17:05Just be a minute, I really appreciate you looking out for me, thank you so much
00:17:08Brian!
00:17:14So...
00:17:16Hey...
00:17:16Hi
00:17:18I think we both said some things this morning that we didn't mean
00:17:22Sure
00:17:24You know, I was heated, you were heated
00:17:27We were heated
00:17:29And I was just...
00:17:31Wondering if...
00:17:33We could just both acknowledge that we were wrong and then...
00:17:36You know, move on
00:17:39Are you apologizing?
00:17:40No, God no
00:17:42But I'm not asking you to, either
00:17:46I don't know
00:17:47Okay, that's fair
00:17:50Okay, so I kinda told my sister that you were coming to the party
00:17:55So you told your sister I was going to be at the dinner party?
00:17:58I did
00:18:00I did, yeah
00:18:01That's pretty weird that you would say that
00:18:03I know
00:18:05But...
00:18:06Either way, I was...
00:18:09Wondering if maybe...
00:18:11You know...
00:18:13I think what you're asking me to do is very unhealthy
00:18:17For you and for me, we've gone through a profoundly traumatic experience
00:18:21And for us to put on some grotesque performance for your sister
00:18:24I think it's regressive, I think it's despicable
00:18:27Oh my God, are you done?
00:18:30Okay, look, I get I have no right asking you this
00:18:32And I understand how pitiful I look right now, okay?
00:18:35But I'm saying...
00:18:37This would really mean a lot to me
00:18:39If you did this
00:18:42Plus this could kinda be like, like our last hurrah, right?
00:18:46This is what...
00:18:48Every couple wishes for when they break up
00:18:51Closure
00:18:53You know, it's kinda poetic
00:18:57Plus I'll pay you
00:18:58A thousand dollars
00:18:59I'm a small business owner, and you're doing me a service
00:19:04Hmm?
00:19:06This isn't because of the money
00:19:07Because frankly, you know, that's a little bit insulting
00:19:10But...
00:19:11Yes, I will do it
00:19:14Thank you
00:19:17No, no, stop, no
00:19:19God damn it, Brian, what the hell is wrong with you?
00:19:20It's like you've literally forgot every single thing we talked about in the last hour
00:19:23You realize how bad this is gonna screw you up, right?
00:19:25And this, mmm, this is twisted
00:19:27Even for you, you really should be ashamed of yourself, you witch
00:19:30Derek, Gary, it's cool, it's gonna be fine
00:19:32Trust me, this is what I need right now
00:19:33And I'm so glad that you helped me through this
00:19:35And I respect you so much, and I love you
00:19:49Don't take this the wrong way, but you need to get any codes for this thing tonight
00:19:51My first impulse is to argue with you, but I agree
00:19:55So you haven't talked to your sister in three years?
00:19:58I mean, not in person
00:19:58But we've talked on Zoom a couple times
00:20:00Oh, well, that's better than a normal conversation
00:20:05So your sister's a really successful lawyer?
00:20:08I mean, yeah, she may partner at 29, but like, who cares?
00:20:11There were so many lawyers, especially in D.C.
00:20:13I mean, that's what makes it impressive, right?
00:20:15The fact that there's so many lawyers?
00:20:20So your parents are probably pretty stoked that your sister's an important lawyer?
00:20:23Yeah, they are, okay?
00:20:30Okay, her Instagram is insane
00:20:32She travels all the time
00:20:34Wait, she's a workaholic attorney that travels? How is that possible?
00:20:37She's just one of these people who travels to find herself
00:20:40God
00:20:41You know, I've been a few places in my life, and I've never learned anything about myself
00:20:45It's a joke
00:20:46Everything with those kinds of people is a joke
00:20:48You know, they love to see what's running in this place
00:20:51He's just the savior
00:20:52I'm already a liar
00:21:12So, since we're lying without being together, I thought that we could also fly by your job.
00:21:21You can see why I'd find that offensive, right?
00:21:23It's like, we're already lying, so might as well just go for it.
00:21:26Are you going to lie about your job?
00:21:28No.
00:21:30Look, I love that you're a graphic designer.
00:21:33It's creative, and it's interesting, and it's so cool, but it's just not really intimidating.
00:21:39You think graphic designer is like an inherently weak profession?
00:21:42No, what I'm saying is that someone who's like a CEO, or like a politician, has this menacing
00:21:48or about them.
00:21:49And it has nothing to do with how they act or their personality.
00:21:52It's just their job title.
00:21:53Do you always wish I had a job that terrified your friends?
00:21:56No.
00:21:57I love that you love being a graphic designer.
00:22:01Okay?
00:22:01I…
00:22:02You're just not the most queer-oriented person.
00:22:04You know, at the risk of sounding pretentious, I feel like by now solely concentrating on
00:22:08my job, I've kind of built a robust internal life.
00:22:11You know, I watch movies, I read books, I reflect on things…
00:22:14You reflect on things?
00:22:16I reflect on all sorts of things.
00:22:17I reflect on culture, the state of society, who I am.
00:22:21What books do you read?
00:22:22You don't read books.
00:22:23I…
00:22:23I do read books.
00:22:24I do.
00:22:31Did you have a specific job in mind?
00:22:33I was thinking…
00:22:35Like an entrepreneur.
00:22:36Absolutely not.
00:22:37Every person I know who calls himself an entrepreneur is just a humongous piece of shit.
00:22:41Fine.
00:22:42Ryan, what imaginary job would you like to have?
00:22:45Well, I was thinking, like, maybe something like a scientist.
00:22:48Kind of like a climate change scientist.
00:22:51There's no way in hell anyone is ever going to believe that you're a scientist.
00:22:55Is this just shit on Brian Day or something?
00:22:57I mean, like, the fact that I'm passionate about climate change will add depth to my performance.
00:23:02Can you just be an investment banker?
00:23:05Fine.
00:23:05I can be an investment banker.
00:23:07Great.
00:23:14Yeah, so I don't know anything about investment banking.
00:23:18I know a guy.
00:23:27I'm going to sell you.
00:23:36I'm going to buy you.
00:23:38Well, I don't know anything about PayPal.
00:23:40I can just do it.
00:23:40I can just go.
00:23:42I can just go.
00:23:43I can't wait.
00:23:43I can just go.
00:23:43You can just go.
00:23:43I can make a adjustment.
00:23:46Jennifer.
00:23:47It's just a mess
00:23:47I've heard!
00:23:48You can't wait.
00:23:49I'll see you later.
00:23:59While this situation you're in, Katie, is quite strange, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't genuinely intrigued.
00:24:07I mean, to be a part of such an elaborate ruse is riveting, tantalizing, there's a seductive quality to it.
00:24:19And I've actually always believed that there exists a sincere yearning within each of us to cast aside the banality
00:24:25of the me and to allow transcendence through a type of performance.
00:24:30Yes? All the world stage, etc.
00:24:34But Katie, through this contrivance you've concocted, you really get to do it.
00:24:38I hope you excuse my greenish complexion, for I am seething with envy.
00:24:45Also, the way you describe your sister. Sounds like a huge bitch.
00:24:49She's a lot.
00:24:51So you're cool teaching me about finance stuff?
00:24:57Of course.
00:24:59Brian.
00:25:00Although I do admit, I'm a little surprised, Brian, that you're actually up for all this.
00:25:04I mean, it must be kind of difficult after just getting dumped this morning, right?
00:25:08I think it's more of a mutual breakup thing, but yeah, I think this is kind of a great way
00:25:12to find closure in our relationship.
00:25:14That's what I said.
00:25:15And I agreed.
00:25:15Katie, as a deeply respected professional colleague of yours, I have to say I would help you with anything.
00:25:23But, Brian, uh, Brian may not be able to glean the appropriate amount of financial know-how in time in
00:25:31order to pull off this glorious charade.
00:25:33I don't know, I think I'm a pretty quick learner. I just need the basics, maybe like some buzzwords you
00:25:37guys use.
00:25:38He just needs to know what to say if someone asks him what he does for a living. Brian is
00:25:42really good at making things up.
00:25:43What the hell's that supposed to mean?
00:25:46Oh, I will be right back.
00:25:49Arnold, thank you so much for doing that.
00:25:50Okay.
00:26:02So, where do we start?
00:26:14Hey!
00:26:16What's up?
00:26:17Hey, I didn't need to pressure you into coming out tonight. I really didn't mean to put you on the
00:26:22spot like that.
00:26:23I know. It's all good. You didn't put me on the spot.
00:26:28Just to sort of get a gauge of where you're at so far, are you familiar with how small businesses
00:26:33attract financing through venture capital firms in exchange for equity?
00:26:36Only in the, in the broadest sense.
00:26:38How about how early stage companies attain market entry through the use of external funding and maybe-
00:26:43Oh! Bootstrapping.
00:26:45What do you know about bootstrapping?
00:26:47I don't know much about that.
00:26:49What about how pre-seed founders' core startup accelerators through the use of idealization models?
00:26:53What can you tell me? Anything from you?
00:26:56I'm so excited for tonight. It will be great to finally get up to speed with each other.
00:27:01Yeah. Yeah, it's been way too long.
00:27:04Way too long.
00:27:05Way too long.
00:27:09I guess an easy way to pretend like you know what you're talking about is to go ahead and say
00:27:14that you're going through a Series J funding round with a small startup that's showing promise.
00:27:18A Series J?
00:27:20Sure.
00:27:20As long as you can remember some of the big words and throwing a letter here and there, Brian will
00:27:23pass as a big old businessman who knows all about this complicated money stuff.
00:27:27Okay?
00:27:28I'm sensing a certain level of condescension being directed at me right now.
00:27:31You're sensing it?
00:27:32Yeah, I'm also sensing a certain level of prickishness just sort of like emanating from this direction.
00:27:38The direction I'm in?
00:27:39Yeah, I mean, it's almost like you're a prick.
00:27:43Great.
00:27:44I'll grab a bottle of rosé.
00:27:49I gotta go. Bye!
00:27:51Well, you can imagine how torn up I am about your assessment of my attitude, Brian.
00:27:54Well, maybe you should be. That way you might learn how to not be completely off-putting.
00:27:57Guys! Guys, how did this escalate so quickly?
00:28:00Look, Katie, Katie, I'm sorry to say it, but I think Brian is a lost cause.
00:28:02As I was graciously trying to impart some of my professional wisdom to him, he began lashing out at me
00:28:06due to what I assume is his lack of comprehensive abilities.
00:28:08It's not his fault. And he became increasingly defensive and extremely hostile to me.
00:28:11I don't feel safe. I don't feel safe right now.
00:28:12Please, the only reason I was defensive was because you were offensive.
00:28:15The guy's been treating me like a patronizing kindergarten teacher from the moment he saw me.
00:28:18Okay, Katie, look, I hate to say this, I hate to say it, fuck!
00:28:21But there is a capacity to how much a person can learn and it ends.
00:28:23And I think Brian has reached his limit.
00:28:25Okay, guys, I cannot handle this right now, okay?
00:28:27Thank you so much, Arnold. Brian, get in the car.
00:28:29Great, now you're patronizing me too.
00:28:31Okay!
00:28:31Uh, uh, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie!
00:28:34Um, uh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about that.
00:28:36You know, I didn't mean for that to happen out of care. I'm sorry.
00:28:39It's fine. It's totally fine.
00:28:41Okay, okay.
00:28:41Okay, thank you for everything.
00:28:43Yeah, it was great seeing you. It was great seeing you.
00:28:45Um, if you ever need help in the future, truly, with anything, any kind of work, you know, yard work,
00:28:52whatever,
00:28:52I'm always here to help, uh, you.
00:28:55Okay.
00:28:56Okay.
00:28:57I gotta go.
00:28:59You're the best.
00:29:00Okay.
00:29:00I gotta, I gotta.
00:29:01Okay.
00:29:06Oh, come on.
00:29:09Yeah.
00:29:16Ryan, were you going to attempt to learn anything, or were you just gonna immediately be unpleasant?
00:29:21Honestly, I went into that situation as a complete sponge, and Arnold might have ruined my interest in finance.
00:29:26How do you even work with a guy like that?
00:29:27He has introduced me to dozens of clients.
00:29:31Oh, well, what a gracious man.
00:29:32Oh, what, do you think that he was attacking you for no reason?
00:29:35Oh, no, he had a reason.
00:29:37Okay, so what was the reason?
00:29:39Please, are you really gonna play this game?
00:29:41I am not playing a game, Ryan.
00:29:43You are actively playing a game.
00:29:45Alright, so wait, you think that he attacked you to impress me?
00:29:49Bingo.
00:29:50Wow, okay.
00:29:52No, we are strictly professional colleagues.
00:29:55You are literally smiling while saying that.
00:29:58I'm literally smiling because this is insane.
00:30:02No, you're smiling because you're happy that you can rebound literally hours after we've broken up.
00:30:07Okay.
00:30:07I think there is a much bigger issue at play here.
00:30:10Of course there's a bigger issue at play.
00:30:12There's always a bigger issue at play.
00:30:20You know, it is like a general rule that whoever is driving is in control of the music.
00:30:27So I'm just gonna put it back on.
00:30:32I can't get along without you.
00:30:35I'll never say goodbye.
00:30:38I can't get along without you.
00:30:44Ryan, you were acting hysterical.
00:30:47You know, you think I'd be used to your, like, empathetic deficiencies by now, but today you really raised the
00:30:52bar.
00:30:52What did I do?
00:30:54The relationship I've been in for two years literally ended this morning,
00:30:58and now, like, four hours later, I'm watching my ex flirt with some dude literally right in front of me.
00:31:03I was literally not flirting.
00:31:05Okay, you were literally making this up.
00:31:07Why do we think she set this whole thing up just to fuck with my feelings one last time,
00:31:11like some orca that tortures its prey before eating it alive?
00:31:15I think that your feelings aren't even that hurt right now.
00:31:18Yeah.
00:31:18I think that you're using this as an opportunity to be like,
00:31:21hmm, let me just, like, gaslight Katie, make her feel like a sociopath
00:31:24so that I can take the moral high ground and make her feel bad about herself.
00:31:28Well, you know what?
00:31:29I am not the orca, Brian.
00:31:30You are the fucking orca!
00:31:40Great.
00:31:40Yeah, go ahead.
00:31:42Go ahead and hang out with all the other marine life.
00:32:07Alexa, play Trinidad James, all gold, everything.
00:32:15Alexa?
00:32:19Alexa?
00:32:20Alexa?
00:32:23Hey.
00:32:25Hey.
00:32:26I'm having a really hard time right now.
00:32:29Do you think I'm a sociopath?
00:32:32No.
00:32:33You're not charismatic enough.
00:32:34I just think I really misread how Brian is handling all this.
00:32:38Like, completely.
00:32:39And I know that this might not be good for him, but I need him.
00:32:42And I just, I feel like shit.
00:32:44Wait, who's Brian again?
00:32:47Is that a serious question?
00:32:50Oh, yeah, never mind.
00:32:52Um, yeah, no, he sucks.
00:32:55You are too good for him.
00:32:56And you just need to remember, we're queens, girl.
00:32:59And queens is our kings, so just remember that.
00:33:33I don't want to apologize, but I regret putting you through this.
00:33:41If you don't want to do this, it's fine.
00:33:44You know it's probably, like, the better person thing to do.
00:33:50I shouldn't say that you lack empathy or refer to you as a robot.
00:33:54Uh, that's an easy dig on my part.
00:33:58I'd like to go through with this thing tonight because, I mean, you know, why not?
00:34:03Right?
00:34:06Just to be clear, you're not into Arnold, right?
00:34:10Oh, my God, no.
00:34:13No, I mean, he's nice, but he looks too much like an owl.
00:34:16You know, what's nuts is I kind of thought he looked like a hawk.
00:34:19He always looks like he's hunting, you know?
00:34:20Yeah, it's something about his head movement or something.
00:34:23It's just like...
00:34:37Who's Hannah?
00:34:42A friend.
00:34:42A friend.
00:34:44Why haven't I heard of her?
00:34:49I don't know.
00:34:54Hello?
00:34:54I don't think you should...
00:34:55Can I talk to her?
00:34:56No, this is Katie, Brian's girlfriend.
00:34:59Well, ex-girlfriend.
00:35:00Who is this?
00:35:01Hey.
00:35:01Oh, Hannah.
00:35:04Hannah, you're Brian's friend.
00:35:06And I've never heard of you.
00:35:07I'm taking the phone.
00:35:08Yeah, no, this is weird.
00:35:09This is...
00:35:10This is really weird.
00:35:11Oh, yeah.
00:35:12You've heard about me?
00:35:14You're gonna spray me with pepper spray?
00:35:16Cool, cool, cool.
00:35:16Is that what you're gonna do?
00:35:17Okay.
00:35:17Maybe you should go and stop being such a colossal whore.
00:35:20I'm taking the phone.
00:35:21Stop!
00:35:22Shit!
00:35:23Hold on!
00:35:24Oh, my God.
00:35:25Shit.
00:35:31How did you meet her?
00:35:33I met her about a year ago at a bookstore.
00:35:35Okay, what is it with you and books?
00:35:36I've never even seen you read a book.
00:35:38I read books, okay?
00:35:39I do read books.
00:35:40Okay, so that's just one more thing that you're hiding from me.
00:35:42Look, it's totally messed up that I hid this from you.
00:35:45That was very unfair.
00:35:46But I will say, it was a completely platonic relationship.
00:35:49There's absolutely no sex whatsoever.
00:35:51I don't believe you.
00:35:52And even if I did, then it's still cheating.
00:35:54I legitimately believe that talking with Hannah helped our relationship.
00:35:58What?
00:35:58When we hung out, it was almost like mutual therapy.
00:36:01We just dumped our emotional baggage and leave.
00:36:04You know, by doing that, you got spared having to listen to a lot of my problems
00:36:08because, let's be honest, you kind of shut down whenever we talk about personal stuff.
00:36:11Do you want me to pepper spray you again?
00:36:13I think you should meet her.
00:36:16What?
00:36:16I think if you met her, you'd understand how innocent our relationship was.
00:36:20Okay.
00:36:21Hey.
00:36:23Okay, why?
00:36:24Okay, let's meet her.
00:36:27Okay?
00:36:28Okay.
00:36:29Okay.
00:36:30Okay.
00:36:31Okay.
00:36:31Okay.
00:36:34Good away, man.
00:36:42Okay.
00:36:53Okay.
00:36:54Thank you, donde?
00:36:56Tenemos.
00:36:57All right.
00:36:57Go.
00:36:59Bye.ç°½
00:37:00All right.
00:37:00Love ease. Bye.
00:37:01See? Bye
00:37:02-bye.
00:37:25So, thank you for letting us be here and talk with you.
00:37:29I know this is weird, but thank you.
00:37:34And thank you, you know, for being willing to come here and hear what this is all about.
00:37:55Who are you?
00:37:56I'm Chris.
00:38:00Okay, so, um, I'll be honest, I don't really know what to say right now.
00:38:08Okay, so you guys have been seeing each other for a year?
00:38:12Yes.
00:38:13Did you know that he was dating me?
00:38:16Yes, I did.
00:38:17And did you feel guilty that he was in a relationship?
00:38:21No, because I'm not responsible for what Brian does.
00:38:26Do I think it was morally wrong he didn't tell you about me?
00:38:28Maybe.
00:38:29Probably.
00:38:30But it's not my place to judge.
00:38:33Did you sleep with him?
00:38:35No.
00:38:36How do I know you're not lying?
00:38:39You don't.
00:38:39Yes.
00:38:40I will say this, and you can choose to believe me or not, but I am sincerely not attracted
00:38:47to Brian sexually or physically in any way.
00:38:51It's hard to explain, but to me there is actually nothing romantic about Brian at all.
00:38:57I almost see him as the antithesis of romance.
00:39:00Okay, let's pause here for a second.
00:39:03I'm the antithesis of romance.
00:39:07It's not like I'm some sort of swamp creature or something.
00:39:10I think I'm an okay guy here.
00:39:12I'm not saying I see you as a swamp creature.
00:39:15To me you're more like a child or a dog.
00:39:20You could see how I could find that insulting, right?
00:39:24You're completely allowed to be offended by how I think of you.
00:39:27Well, I don't think you actually think of me like that.
00:39:29You're allowed to think that.
00:39:30Please stop allowing me to do things.
00:39:32Brian, when you would come over and talk about your problems and cry about various existential
00:39:37crises you were having, in those moments I viewed myself as a sort of counselor or mother.
00:39:43That's completely healthy.
00:39:45I don't think this is an accurate depiction of our relationship.
00:39:48Okay, um, hold on.
00:39:51Why did you want to hang out with a man who acts like a baby?
00:39:54It's hard to explain, but I love watching men experience profound emasculation.
00:40:03Wow.
00:40:05Okay, let's just be clear.
00:40:06I am not a child.
00:40:07I am not a dog.
00:40:08And I am not a baby.
00:40:10I'm not saying you are.
00:40:11I'm saying that's how I see you.
00:40:12This was a mutual thing.
00:40:13We both shared our problems with each other.
00:40:15No, you told me about your problems.
00:40:17I didn't tell you mine.
00:40:18Yes, you did.
00:40:19No, Brian.
00:40:20I didn't.
00:40:21Why do you like to watch men act pathetic?
00:40:25To say my father was a masculine figure would probably be an understatement.
00:40:32He hunted.
00:40:33He drank.
00:40:34He gambled.
00:40:35He fought.
00:40:36One day, he blacked out and crashed his Mustang into our house.
00:40:40But it was in that moment I saw him do something I didn't think he was capable of.
00:40:47He cried.
00:40:48It was probably the most honest thing I ever saw my dad do.
00:40:53Boxing, cigars, big muscles, big trucks, big dicks.
00:40:58These things don't really do much for me.
00:41:01Even if a guy is genuinely into that stuff, due to my adolescent imprinting it seems performative in some way.
00:41:07I know it probably seems strange, even regressive, but the idea of me comforting a gigantic adult sized baby is
00:41:15exciting.
00:41:16It's intoxicating.
00:41:18I know a baby can't be adult sized, but through the magic of role play we get pretty close.
00:41:28One thing I will say is this.
00:41:29There's nothing like coming home to a 30 year old man dressed entirely in Oshkosh Pagosh.
00:41:35Hannah, stop.
00:41:36What?
00:41:37I can't do this anymore.
00:41:39Do what?
00:41:41I'm not a baby.
00:41:43I never said you were.
00:41:44Oh, okay, so you just treat me like one.
00:41:46Sure, within the healthy boundaries that we both agreed upon.
00:41:49Hannah, there's nothing healthy about this.
00:41:51I don't understand.
00:41:52I'm a man, okay?
00:41:53I'm not a baby.
00:41:54I'm a man.
00:41:55Chris, calm down.
00:41:56You're having a tantrum.
00:41:57You don't realize how much this affects me.
00:41:59I'll be at work filling out spreadsheets wondering if I should drink my coffee through a bottle.
00:42:03I've had it.
00:42:03I thought you liked baby time.
00:42:04I did baby time because you wanted to do baby time.
00:42:07Do you think I like watching Peppa Pig and being called Big Boy and waddling around in diapers?
00:42:10It's role play.
00:42:11It's moved far beyond role play, Hannah.
00:42:13Also, I don't appreciate you working through your mother fantasies with other dudes.
00:42:16We agreed to an open relationship.
00:42:18Yeah, I thought you were going to bang other guys, not talk to losers about their feelings in our living
00:42:22room.
00:42:22Well, you definitely weren't complaining when you slept with my friend Maggie.
00:42:25Oh, yep.
00:42:26There it is.
00:42:27Can't let that one go.
00:42:28Now who's the baby?
00:42:58I'm having a hard time.
00:43:00Yeah, well, I don't blame you.
00:43:01I mean, that was something back there.
00:43:06I think I'm having a breakdown.
00:43:08Okay, fine.
00:43:09You're fine.
00:43:10Look, I'm not even mad at you anymore.
00:43:12Okay?
00:43:12That wasn't cheating.
00:43:13I don't know what that was, but that definitely, that was not cheating.
00:43:17I just, just, all of that back there is sort of making me question a lot about myself.
00:43:23Well, maybe this is good for your growth.
00:43:25Hmm?
00:43:26I need to talk to somebody.
00:43:27Just relax, okay?
00:43:29At least you're not that Chris guy.
00:43:31Katie, I need some sort of professional help because I'm freaking out.
00:43:34Okay, look.
00:43:34The dinner is in like three hours.
00:43:36Can you just like freak out at another time?
00:43:37Katie, I need to talk to somebody or I'm going to fucking lose it.
00:43:40What?
00:43:40Oh my God.
00:43:41What?
00:43:42What?
00:43:42Well, what are we supposed to do?
00:43:44I don't know.
00:43:45I don't know.
00:43:46Brian, breathe.
00:43:47Oh my God.
00:43:48God damn it.
00:43:48Brian.
00:43:49What about that guy we both did work for a couple months ago?
00:43:51He has some sort of therapy business, right?
00:43:53Daryl is not an actual therapist.
00:43:55I don't care.
00:43:56I'm going to call and make an appointment.
00:43:57God damn it.
00:43:59God damn it.
00:44:13I'm not an actual therapist.
00:44:22When we talked a few months ago, you mentioned you did some sort of therapy outside your accounting business.
00:44:29You must have misunderstood.
00:44:31I trained therapy dogs for people suffering from mental trauma, PTSD, addiction, that sort of thing.
00:44:39Are they the dogs that walk around with blind people?
00:44:41No.
00:44:42Those are service dogs.
00:44:44Very different.
00:44:46Okay.
00:44:47Well, thanks Daryl.
00:44:50I gotta get this.
00:44:52Hey Arnold.
00:45:01Brian.
00:45:05Looks like you've been through the ringer.
00:45:09Yeah.
00:45:11I guess I have.
00:45:14What do you say we go out back?
00:45:16And I introduce you to one of the dogs.
00:45:22I think I'd like that.
00:45:25Good.
00:45:28Good.
00:45:30Hey, uh, hey, Katie.
00:45:33Uh, how are you?
00:45:35I'm good.
00:45:36What's up?
00:45:37Well, I just wanted to call and apologize for what happened earlier.
00:45:41Uh, that was completely out of character.
00:45:43And I, and I, and I, and I should have been a lot more patient with you and Brian.
00:45:48Well, Brian requires a lot of patience.
00:45:51Haha.
00:45:51Right.
00:45:52Well, I certainly didn't mean for it to get very heated.
00:45:55Which it did.
00:45:56Brian seems like a nice guy.
00:45:58A good guy.
00:45:59Maybe he's a little misguided.
00:46:01Maybe a little bit inarticulate.
00:46:02But good.
00:46:03Ultimately, to my mind, he seems very pleasant to me.
00:46:07Very pleasant.
00:46:07Well, I appreciate that.
00:46:09Right.
00:46:10Good.
00:46:12So, Katie, how, how are you doing?
00:46:16I'm good.
00:46:17I can imagine this whole situation you're in must be utterly exhausting.
00:46:29When I got back from the Gulf, nothing made any sense.
00:46:35I think the biggest problem was in Kuwait.
00:46:37I knew exactly what I had to do.
00:46:40Every day, laid out.
00:46:44But when I got home, it was like, I couldn't figure out, I mean, who I was.
00:46:50Who I needed to be.
00:46:52You felt lost.
00:46:55Yeah.
00:46:57The next few years was all dope, booze, jail, cancer.
00:47:02I had a kid in there somewhere.
00:47:05Caused a whole lot of grief.
00:47:08When I reached the bottom, the only thing I had left was pain.
00:47:15Pain you can't run from or ignore.
00:47:19Pain that, it surrounds you, becomes part of you.
00:47:26Took a little while.
00:47:28But I finally figured out that all that pain I was feeling was not a burden.
00:47:34It was a gift.
00:47:37Because whether you like it or not, pain changes you.
00:47:43Hey, take it for what it's worth.
00:47:46From an old, stupid man like me.
00:47:49But do not run from pain.
00:47:53Let it hit you harder than a train.
00:47:57Because if you fight change, you're dumber than me.
00:48:05I think I know what you mean.
00:48:09The only thing is, I think there's a lot more change ahead.
00:48:14Oh yeah?
00:48:15Oh yeah.
00:48:16Big change.
00:48:18What kind of change?
00:48:22I think a war is coming.
00:48:25A war?
00:48:27When I was in the service, the enemy was Saddam.
00:48:31Later, Al-Qaeda.
00:48:33But now, I think we're up against an enemy that I don't think we're ready for.
00:48:38What kind of enemy?
00:48:45Brian, what do you know about the globalists?
00:48:50Imagine this whole situation is awful.
00:48:53The stress you're under.
00:48:55Oh my god.
00:48:56Yeah, I just hope that everything plays out well tonight.
00:48:59I'm sure everything will be fine, Katie.
00:49:01That's actually what you're good at, Katie.
00:49:03You know, you know what you want.
00:49:04And you power through and make it happen.
00:49:07But you remain considerate, which is deeply refreshing to a guy like me.
00:49:11Well, thank you.
00:49:13Hey Katie, I was wondering, and this might be totally wacky,
00:49:17but do you think maybe sometime next week we could perhaps, if you wanted,
00:49:23get a... grab a... grab a coffee?
00:49:26What do you think?
00:49:29A coffee!
00:49:33I mean, think about it.
00:49:34They completely control media.
00:49:36Tech.
00:49:37The banks.
00:49:37Diamonds.
00:49:38All while engaging in pedophilia on a mass scale.
00:49:42I am counting the days until we all say,
00:49:44Enough!
00:49:45We're coming after you.
00:49:47And we are not gonna stop until we get you.
00:49:50That's the day that I'm waiting for.
00:49:53I am just in such a weird place right now.
00:49:56I don't know where my head's at, I just...
00:49:58I feel like I just need some time to get my bearings.
00:50:02Uh...
00:50:03Yeah, I totally understand.
00:50:05Katie.
00:50:06Yeah.
00:50:06You know, if I went through what you're going through, I'd be doing the same thing.
00:50:11Thanks, Arnold.
00:50:12You're just such a cool person.
00:50:14I mean, it's always been a goal of mine to be as cool as possible, so...
00:50:19I gotta go.
00:50:20But, you know, stay in touch, bud.
00:50:23Oh, okay.
00:50:23Okay, bye.
00:50:24The greatest threat of all the world has ever pulled off...
00:50:27It's predicting the world...
00:50:27Maybe it already exists...
00:50:38You'd be such a different addiction.
00:50:38Good work!
00:50:40But whether it's true or not, you can make your teachings come true.
00:50:45It happens in the world of all the world, you got it.
00:50:56Soromose?
00:50:59Thanks.
00:50:59I didn't come through this.
00:50:59That is what I have to use.
00:50:59The ATF has no idea what I have in the basement always. I know is when the signals given I
00:51:05will be the first one in the trenches
00:51:08To take back our country are you done with the dog we really gotta go
00:51:15Hey, I
00:51:16Think we need to talk. Oh god damn it. So in talking with Daryl I've heard some pretty wild things
00:51:23but I've also sort of realized that I
00:51:28I
00:51:28Can't do this
00:51:30This thing we're doing is killing me because I still have feelings for you
00:51:35Because well, you know, I mean we literally broke up a few hours ago
00:51:40But now you're taking advantage of my feelings in order to do this whole thing with your sister and honestly,
00:51:45that's that's fine
00:51:46You know, we've been in this
00:51:48Emotional chess match for a while now. So good move. I
00:51:54just I
00:51:55I can't do it
00:51:57And this isn't me trying to get one over on you
00:52:01This is me saying
00:52:04I'm spent
00:52:12Okay
00:52:14Are you gonna say anything I have nothing to say anymore, Ryan
00:52:40This is hot it see
00:52:48Sweet words to you
00:53:01We'll sit and smile
00:53:09As the world who passes us by
00:53:17And I'll carry you so safely
00:53:24If only, if only you'll take me
00:53:33Hey, Katie
00:53:36I think you did the right thing leaving them
00:53:39I know it's tough
00:53:40But you'll get through it
00:53:41That's strong, right?
00:53:43But you also look a fucking wreck
00:53:45I mean, God damn
00:53:47I mean, look at you
00:53:48Fuck
00:53:50Oh my goodness
00:53:51Oh my goodness
00:53:53Oh my goodness
00:53:55This heart has weeped
00:54:02And it will fly
00:54:04To you
00:54:10This heart
00:54:13It seems
00:54:18Sweet words
00:54:21To you
00:54:27Peace
00:54:28This heart
00:54:29Haze
00:54:31Weep
00:54:36Hello
00:54:38Hey Arnold
00:54:49It's like
00:54:50Should I feel guilty
00:54:51Elated
00:54:52Angry
00:54:52Or is it like a
00:54:53Like a multi-emotional blend
00:54:55Also
00:54:55I'm still pissed she never remembers
00:54:57I'm allergic to wine
00:54:58I feel like my emotional state
00:55:00Can only be described as like raw
00:55:02I'm at peak raw
00:55:03Which is either a very good thing
00:55:05Or a very bad thing
00:55:07Yeah, and just a heads up
00:55:09I'm gonna need a lot of emotional support
00:55:11Probably over the next several months
00:55:13You know what I mean?
00:55:15I mean, it's like she doesn't even care about climate change
00:55:17Even though it's the issue
00:55:19Of our generation
00:55:26So what do you think?
00:55:31Yeah, I think
00:55:33That
00:55:36I
00:55:39Cannot listen to
00:55:40Any more of this shit
00:55:45I have been forced to tolerate
00:55:48The raw sewage
00:55:50That
00:55:50Flows out of your mouth
00:55:52For
00:55:53Way too long
00:55:56Every time you talk
00:55:58Like
00:55:59It's shit
00:56:00In my ears
00:56:02And
00:56:03I
00:56:03Nod
00:56:04And I go
00:56:05Yeah, that sucks dude
00:56:08Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that
00:56:09That must be tough
00:56:12I mean, I get it
00:56:13Like
00:56:13Like we all need to vent
00:56:15And
00:56:15We all have problems
00:56:16But
00:56:17I am not a sewer
00:56:20You can't keep gathering up all of your shit
00:56:23And
00:56:24Saying
00:56:25Hmm
00:56:25Where do I put this?
00:56:26And then
00:56:27You
00:56:28You call me up
00:56:29And
00:56:29You come over
00:56:30To my house
00:56:31My home
00:56:32And
00:56:33You
00:56:34Dump it
00:56:36All over me
00:56:39You want my advice?
00:56:40Of course you don't
00:56:41What am I saying?
00:56:42You don't want my advice
00:56:42Well, I'm gonna say it anyway
00:56:43Fuck it
00:56:44You need help
00:56:45Okay
00:56:45You don't need a girlfriend
00:56:47You
00:56:48Need to
00:56:49Take a good hard look at you
00:56:51And
00:56:51Say
00:56:52Well
00:56:52How do I fix this thing
00:56:54That is me?
00:56:56Because
00:56:57Brian
00:56:59You
00:57:00Are
00:57:01Very
00:57:02Very
00:57:03Very
00:57:04Fucked up
00:57:07In your head
00:57:12You know what, Derek?
00:57:14You're completely wrong
00:57:15Oh my god
00:57:15I'm gonna fucking murder you
00:57:16I don't need to work on myself
00:57:18I mean, I do
00:57:19But
00:57:19You know
00:57:20I've been working on myself a lot
00:57:22I think maybe too much
00:57:23I need
00:57:24To do something
00:57:25For someone else
00:57:26For once
00:57:27I need
00:57:27To fix other people
00:57:29And look
00:57:29I don't care
00:57:30If Katie hates me
00:57:32Or
00:57:32Doesn't even care about me
00:57:34I care
00:57:35About
00:57:36Katie
00:57:36And so
00:57:37I'm gonna go
00:57:38To that dinner party
00:57:39And I'm going to
00:57:40Lie to a bunch
00:57:41Of strangers
00:57:42For her
00:57:42Now
00:57:43Can you give me a ride?
00:57:49Are you asking me
00:57:50To drive you
00:57:50To the dinner party?
00:57:52I am
00:57:55No
00:57:59Okay
00:58:02I will
00:58:03I'll call a lift
00:58:05And my battery's dead
00:58:11I assume
00:58:13You're not gonna
00:58:13Let me use your bike
00:58:20Shit
00:58:40Hi Katie
00:58:41How are you?
00:58:42Thank you
00:58:42For coming
00:58:46Of course
00:58:47Shall we
00:58:48Or shall we
00:58:49You brought me flowers
00:58:50Well
00:58:51Yeah
00:58:52I'm a flowers guy
00:58:53Here
00:58:55Awesome
00:58:55Thank you
00:58:56Wow
00:58:57Well
00:58:58We should
00:58:59Probably get going
00:59:00Yeah
00:59:01Yeah
00:59:01Let's do it Katie
00:59:03Yeah
00:59:03Yeah
00:59:11Okay
00:59:12Well
00:59:12I am extremely excited
00:59:14It's gonna be
00:59:16I think a lovely evening
00:59:32Okay if I put some music on
00:59:34Sure
00:59:36Yeah
00:59:37Great
00:59:43I don't listen to that rap crap
00:59:59So do you have any
01:00:00Like fun vacations plans?
01:00:03Uh no
01:00:05Try not to leave town too often
01:00:06It actually kind of throws me off
01:00:10I find keeping my movements to a minimum keeps me sharp
01:00:24I often find the New Yorker to be an admirable source of criticism if you will
01:00:33I often will write my own criticisms of the books that I read and compare them
01:00:37To the critics of our time
01:00:54Well
01:00:55Well
01:00:56Showtime
01:00:59Gotcha
01:01:01Yeah
01:01:02I'm just kidding
01:01:04It's great
01:01:06Okay
01:01:07Okay
01:01:07After you please
01:01:20Brian
01:01:27Hey
01:01:29What are you doing here
01:01:31Hold on a second
01:01:32Look
01:01:33I make it a point in my life to never overstep my boundaries
01:01:36Yeah
01:01:37But I think it's incredibly inappropriate for you to be here Brian
01:01:39You should just go home
01:01:41Shame on you
01:01:43Arnold's right
01:01:44Also you look awful
01:01:48You're right
01:01:50I look awful
01:01:51I feel awful
01:01:54I am probably awful
01:01:56You know
01:01:57You getting Arnold to do this
01:01:59That might be awful
01:02:00Arnold I don't know you that well
01:02:01But you know
01:02:02I can tell you're awful in your own way
01:02:05We're all awful
01:02:06And that is okay
01:02:10Look
01:02:10I've been called a pathetic loser by multiple people today
01:02:13But I think I should at least be a pathetic loser who finishes something
01:02:18I owe it to you to do this
01:02:20Also
01:02:21I'm pretty angry with myself right now
01:02:24And that's sort of motivating me
01:02:25To like dunk on those assholes
01:02:27In that house
01:02:28And show them we're like way cooler
01:02:30And way more interesting
01:02:32And way more successful
01:02:33Even if none of that is true
01:02:35So
01:02:36So please
01:02:38Can't
01:02:40Can we do this?
01:02:45I think I gotta do this with Brian
01:02:48What?
01:02:50Everything Brian said
01:02:51And
01:02:53We really have been through a lot
01:02:54I gotta do this with him
01:03:03Wow
01:03:04Okay
01:03:04Um
01:03:06I mean you sort of strung me along through all this
01:03:09I feel so terrible
01:03:10Honestly
01:03:11And you're so great
01:03:13Thank you
01:03:14For doing this
01:03:14Even though you didn't really
01:03:16You know
01:03:16Do this
01:03:17Yeah it's fine
01:03:18Okay
01:03:22Do you still want to get coffee with me next week?
01:03:25Yeah
01:03:27Sure
01:03:30I wish you well Katie
01:03:31You too
01:03:35Hi
01:03:36Hi
01:03:36Hi
01:03:37Hi
01:03:38Hi
01:03:38Hi
01:03:38Hi
01:03:43Hi
01:03:44Hi
01:03:45Hi
01:03:45Hi
01:04:04Oh hey
01:04:05Uh Katie
01:04:06And
01:04:06Brian
01:04:07Brian
01:04:08Yeah
01:04:08Oh my god
01:04:10It is so good to see you
01:04:13It's finally great to meet you
01:04:14Good to meet you too
01:04:15All right
01:04:16Come on in
01:04:17Thank you
01:04:29Well the sword of Damocles is obviously the looming regulatory climate
01:04:33We saw it in China
01:04:34We're seeing it in Europe
01:04:35And who knows what those geniuses at the Fed are up to
01:04:37Now am I one of the true believers that think we're headed toward a decentralized utopian wonderland
01:04:45No
01:04:47But do I think that in 10 years we might see 20% of the population utilizing crypto in a
01:04:52meaningful way
01:04:55Maybe
01:05:02What do you think Brian?
01:05:06I think you should invest all your money in Barnes and Noble
01:05:19I don't know I got a good feeling about bookstores
01:05:22Oh my gosh
01:05:23Come on
01:05:24I'll spoon my drink
01:05:25Way to go Brian
01:05:26Way to go Brian
01:05:26I didn't expect that from you Brian
01:05:28Me neither
01:05:28Me neither Brian
01:05:30I love what you've done with your hair
01:05:31Thanks
01:05:32I just kinda let it go
01:05:34It's great
01:05:40So we kept driving
01:05:41Into Utah
01:05:42Straight on into the mountains
01:05:47Katie told me about your wine tasting trip in Sonoma
01:05:50She did
01:05:51Well uh yeah we uh we did that and it was great
01:05:56Well we're doing a sort of pairing tonight and I cannot wait to get your thoughts on the Pinot Noir
01:06:01I think it's uh it's uh pist-
01:06:03Pistallia
01:06:04Pistalla
01:06:05Fantastic
01:06:07Mmhmm
01:06:11This could be a Christmas car
01:06:12Yeah, yeah
01:06:14Oh this looks so good
01:06:21I think there's something to be said about having too much stuff
01:06:26At the same time I am very tactile when it comes to products
01:06:31Not to sound pretentious, but there is something profoundly spiritual and stirring about Montana.
01:06:40I think we will eventually see the equivalent of a Woody Allen for TikTok.
01:06:46Maybe Woody Allen isn't the best example, but you get what I'm saying.
01:06:55This is a lot.
01:07:01You know, I love what I do, and I think the industry is headed in some really interesting directions.
01:07:06I mean, some of these businesses we're invested in, wow, you know, I mean, talk about innovation.
01:07:12Right now we're going through a Series J funding round for a startup, you know, and they build, they build
01:07:17like robot hands for people, for people that don't have hands.
01:07:22Wow.
01:07:24Yeah.
01:07:24Did you say Series J?
01:07:28I did.
01:07:29Yeah, because, you know, we like to go high with the letters.
01:07:37Ryan, you have not tried the wine yet.
01:07:39I would love to know what you think of the flavor profile.
01:07:46Okay.
01:07:55Yeah, I can taste the berries.
01:07:58Yeah.
01:07:58Yes!
01:08:00So, Katie, how's everything going with your consulting business?
01:08:04Oh, it's great, but I won't bore you guys with the details.
01:08:07Oh, don't be silly.
01:08:09It sounds like you're up to some really cool stuff.
01:08:11Well, for those of you who don't know, I have a consulting business that specializes in strategies for mostly tech
01:08:17startups.
01:08:18It's a lot of marketing, timing product launch, a lot of hand-holding.
01:08:22But our company has really, like, expanded, exploded, actually.
01:08:26We've been able to double our clientele, hire more employees, and just overall expand.
01:08:32For an industry that seems pretty dry, it's actually very exciting for us.
01:08:35I mean, I don't want to name drop, but some of my clientele are Bryan Cranston and Young Thug.
01:08:42I love Young Thug.
01:08:44Me, too.
01:08:45Oh, he's so sweet and funny.
01:08:47Yeah, things have been so busy.
01:08:48I mean, I'm even considering hiring a strategy consultant for my strategy consulting business.
01:08:55Girl, boss lady here.
01:08:57It sounds so cliche, but I feel like I'm really changing the world.
01:09:02I mean, the companies that I'm involved with, they're in biotech and green energy and social justice, things that I'm
01:09:10really passionate about.
01:09:10Plus, there's just so much investment going into these businesses.
01:09:13Like, I can charge whatever I want, which is a total perk, you know?
01:09:17Getting paid really well to do what you love and make the world a better place.
01:09:22Like, it's just the perfect life.
01:09:23It's the perfect life that I've always dreamed of living.
01:09:26You know, I feel strong emotionally, spiritually, physically.
01:09:29I am in the best shape of my life.
01:09:31I have just boundless amounts of energy.
01:09:33It's amazing how much energy you have when you just are just so filled with goodness, you know?
01:09:39And you're just so good.
01:09:39I'm so happy.
01:09:41I'm really just so happy.
01:09:46Wow.
01:09:47That's great.
01:09:48That is so great.
01:09:50That is awesome.
01:09:53And we're buying a house.
01:09:57Oh.
01:09:59Welcome to the joys of homeownership.
01:10:02Yeah.
01:10:04Cheers.
01:10:06Cheers.
01:10:08So, how about you, Natalie?
01:10:10What have you been up to?
01:10:12Oh, uh, good.
01:10:14Good.
01:10:15I mean, things are great.
01:10:19What have you been up to?
01:10:21Oh, you know, this and that.
01:10:24This and that?
01:10:25Yeah, we, uh, we're just finally living life on our own terms for the first time in a really long
01:10:32time.
01:10:34Cool.
01:10:35Feels really good.
01:10:36Yeah.
01:10:37Cool.
01:10:38So, how is the love room?
01:10:43Well, um, I quit.
01:10:47You quit?
01:10:48I quit.
01:10:50I quit.
01:10:52Why?
01:10:53Well, I mean, it's a long, it's a long story, but there just came a point where I realized this
01:11:00is just not for me.
01:11:01You know, the long hours, the work weekends, the stress, the clients, I mean, I just, oh, I just hit
01:11:08a breaking point and I thought to myself, I'm not living life anymore.
01:11:12And so I quit.
01:11:14And I am so much happier.
01:11:17Congratulations.
01:11:19Oh, it's huge.
01:11:22Are you guys living in your condo?
01:11:23I mean, I know that you, you bought it because it was so close to work.
01:11:27Nope.
01:11:27Sold the condo.
01:11:29So, you sold the condo.
01:11:31Yep.
01:11:31Yeah.
01:11:32I just wanted to simplify my life.
01:11:36Yeah.
01:11:37And plus, leaving the job would make some of those payments a little tricky, but selling it at the time
01:11:42I did actually turned out pretty well.
01:11:45Great.
01:11:47Great.
01:11:48So, where in D.C. are you living now?
01:11:52Um, actually, we're not living in D.C. anymore.
01:11:56What?
01:11:56Mm-hmm.
01:11:59Oh, my God.
01:12:00What?
01:12:02That's great.
01:12:02Natalie, I feel like I don't even know you anymore.
01:12:06Well, sorry for this info dump, but, yeah, we just got tired of the constant hustle and the craziness and
01:12:14the politics.
01:12:15It was too much.
01:12:16Yeah, and we just said, uh, screw it.
01:12:18Let's leave.
01:12:20So, where are you living now?
01:12:23Well, we're not really living anywhere right now.
01:12:26We're, uh, doing the whole van life thing.
01:12:33The whole van life thing?
01:12:36We've been traveling across the country and stopping at these little funky places and just finally living our life.
01:12:43That's why we're here, actually.
01:12:45We're going to be continuing up the coast this week and then, um, who knows where?
01:12:53I mean, honestly, we should show you the van after dinner.
01:12:55Oh, that's a good idea, huh?
01:12:56It's a custom Mercedes Sprinter, 170-inch wheelbase, full kitchen sink stove, side hookups for electric and graywater disposal.
01:13:05I mean, this way, when you're at a campsite, it's like you're in a real home.
01:13:08Oh, and my favorite part is, you know, besides just meeting all these colorful characters across, you know, this beautiful
01:13:14patchwork of land that is the United States,
01:13:16is this amazing, detachable shower hose head, I don't know what we call it again, but it does both hot
01:13:23and cold water.
01:13:24It is truly top of the line, this van, and we're just excited to, you know, live where we want.
01:13:30So, yeah, it's been great.
01:13:35You look shocked.
01:13:37Yeah.
01:13:39Yeah, I'm pretty shocked.
01:13:40Well, I mean, it is quite a change.
01:13:43It's a huge change.
01:13:44I mean, so you're not making any money?
01:13:48Well, Luke and I have saved up, plus the sale of the condo has helped us out a lot, so
01:13:52we're kind of good for now.
01:13:55So you just kind of just, you threw everything away?
01:13:57Well, we sold it.
01:14:00Actually, it's very liberating.
01:14:03So, you know, you have no savings, you're not building towards any kind of future.
01:14:06We're not really thinking about that right now, we're sort of just living life on our own terms.
01:14:11That's so inspiring.
01:14:12So inspiring.
01:14:14Cheers.
01:14:14Yeah, cheers.
01:14:16There we go.
01:14:17This is...
01:14:20Did you tell Mom and Dad?
01:14:22I'm going to hold off on that.
01:14:25Yeah, you probably should, because they're going to be pretty pissed off.
01:14:28Well, I'm not thinking about that right now.
01:14:30Yeah, you're just thinking about yourself.
01:14:31Yeah, I mean, it is my life.
01:14:33Hmm.
01:14:35Is everything okay?
01:14:37No.
01:14:39No.
01:14:40No.
01:14:40No, actually, this is, this whole thing, this is insane.
01:14:42I guess it is a little insane.
01:14:44Okay, could you stop agreeing with everything that I'm saying?
01:14:49Because the things that I'm saying, they're not good things.
01:14:51Life changes.
01:14:52Priorities change.
01:14:53Things change.
01:14:55Yeah, but you don't change.
01:14:56What does that mean?
01:14:57Of course I change.
01:14:59Nope, not since I've known you.
01:15:04Maybe we talk about something else.
01:15:06Yeah.
01:15:06Let me just, like, be clear about this.
01:15:09Okay, you have no career goals, no plans for a tangible future.
01:15:12You're crisscrossing around the country like some vagabond hobo with carrot top over here living out of your car.
01:15:18Well, to be clear, it's a van.
01:15:20I mean, I'm not sure why you are getting so angry about this.
01:15:24Okay, this doesn't affect you at all.
01:15:27I'm not upset.
01:15:27I'm not angry.
01:15:28Then why are you raising your voice?
01:15:29I am raising my voice.
01:15:37Look, this is absolutely not the right place to talk about this, but, you know, I don't pass any judgment
01:15:42on you, so I think you should show me the same courtesy, okay?
01:15:46Please, you don't pass any judgment on me.
01:15:48I don't.
01:15:49Okay.
01:15:49Yeah, all you do is pass judgment on everything and everyone.
01:15:53Katie, no, I don't.
01:15:54I don't do that.
01:15:55You know what?
01:15:56It doesn't matter anyway, because there's nothing to pass judgment on me about, because I'm doing okay.
01:16:00I know.
01:16:00Yeah.
01:16:01Yeah.
01:16:01I'm doing just fine.
01:16:02My business is doing great.
01:16:03I'm in a fantastic relationship, and we're buying a house.
01:16:05Congratulations.
01:16:06Yeah.
01:16:07And we're having a baby.
01:16:12Really?
01:16:13Mm-hmm.
01:16:22Um, cheers.
01:16:36Um.
01:16:43Um, hold on. I will be right back.
01:17:03This weather is crazy, right?
01:17:07Whether you like it or not, climate change is here.
01:17:14Hey, Katie? There's someone here to see you. He says it's an emergency?
01:17:21Yes. It is an emergency.
01:17:33Hello. My name is Arnold Buckwalter. And I am a professional colleague of Katie's. I work in capital finance. And
01:17:45I am a very...
01:17:50lonely man.
01:17:51Okay. You know, maybe you and Katie could take this into the...
01:17:54No.
01:17:56I want to hear what Arnold has to say.
01:18:09Since I was a child, I have suffered from extreme social anxiety.
01:18:16And although I have worked hard to improve myself, I still find it difficult to act natural in group settings.
01:18:27I often come off as awkward. And distant.
01:18:33Scary.
01:18:35In school, my nickname was Birdman because of my lack of blinking and rapid head movements.
01:18:41I cry regularly. And I'm okay with that.
01:18:46I never stand up for myself. But today is different.
01:18:53Today, Katie asked me to pose as her boyfriend for this dinner party because she recently ended her relationship to
01:18:59Brian.
01:19:01From what I understand, Brian got a tattoo of them together, which she found repulsive.
01:19:06I assume the only reason that Katie asked me was because of my social status as an investment banker.
01:19:12Wait, hold up. I thought Brian was an investment banker.
01:19:15No. Brian is not an investment banker. Brian is a liar.
01:19:18And a graphic designer or something.
01:19:21I assume Brian told you something about Series J funding rounds?
01:19:25Yeah, that's not actually a thing. I made it up.
01:19:28While Brian is a mean-spirited, low-assuming person, Katie is much worse.
01:19:33While Brian would insult me to my face, Katie's behavior was far more insidious.
01:19:39She knew I was weak. And she knew I had feelings for her.
01:19:42And she used that knowledge to bully me into helping them with this frankly despicable charade.
01:19:49She used me to lie to her family.
01:19:52And when I was no longer needed, I was cast aside like trash.
01:19:58Like garbage.
01:20:00But I know my worth. And I'm not garbage.
01:20:05You're garbage.
01:20:09You're garbage, Katie.
01:20:19Okay, you're right. You're right. Okay? I'm garbage.
01:20:23I said it. Does that make you feel better?
01:20:25Look, I said it. Everyone, I'm garbage. Okay? I'm garbage. I'm garbage.
01:20:30I lied about mostly everything that I said tonight.
01:20:33My business is not doing well. Brian and I broke up this morning.
01:20:36We're not buying a home and I'm definitely not pregnant.
01:20:39I've never even met Young Thug.
01:20:41I probably drank way too much.
01:20:43I watch a lot of videos of corgis on my phone because the idea of actually owning one gives me
01:20:48a frickin' panic attack.
01:20:50And I lie a lot. I lie a lot. A whole lot. Especially to myself.
01:20:54Because I can't stand the fuckin' fact that everyone on planet Earth is doing so much better than I am.
01:21:01I just... I just for one night wanted to feel what it felt like to be doing better than you.
01:21:11I never knew you felt that way.
01:21:13Natalie, could you please do me a huge favor and just cut the fucking shit for once in your life?
01:21:20You literally know that you win at everything in life. You constantly beat me.
01:21:25And you love it, girl. Oh, you bask in it. You crave it.
01:21:30I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy because you've won again for the millionth fucking time.
01:21:36Because all you do is just win, win, win. And I, I just lose, lose, lose. It's great. I lose.
01:21:42One time, I thought I would cheat and try to figure out what it was like to win at this
01:21:47hellish game that we've been playing our entire lives.
01:21:50And so after all of the lying and the scheming and the begging, I get here and you tell me
01:21:57that you quit?
01:21:58That you just, you decided to stop playing the game? You're gonna just live hashtag van life?
01:22:03I am so close to winning and you, you, you can't even give me that one thing.
01:22:09And here I am questioning my entire fucking life and you are living in a truck.
01:22:26this heart has wings and it will fly to you
01:22:43This heart, it seems
01:22:52Sweet words to you
01:23:05We'll sit and smile
01:23:13As the world passes us by
01:23:21And I'll carry you so safely
01:23:28If only, if only you'll take me
01:23:35This heart has weased
01:23:42This heart, it seems
01:23:50Sweet words to you
01:23:59This heart has weased
01:24:11My behavior as of late has not been morally great
01:24:17I haven't been very nice to you
01:24:20Or really anybody for that matter
01:24:23So I probably deserved that humiliation at that dinner party
01:24:29I know I don't usually say this
01:24:32But I'm sorry
01:24:39There's a lot I should probably apologize for too
01:24:44But yeah, I don't want to get into the weeds with it all
01:24:47So I'm just gonna kind of do a blanket apology
01:24:50And say I am sorry too
01:24:56Cool
01:24:58I think it's important that we acknowledge these sorry's
01:25:02And sort of learn from them, I guess
01:25:04But also maybe we kind of just like forget about the details
01:25:08Yeah?
01:25:09I would love that
01:25:10Great
01:25:11Great
01:25:14You two, do you maybe just want to keep living together for a little while?
01:25:20You know, I'm living such a huge pain in the ass
01:25:21And I really, I really can't handle a big change right now
01:25:25I would like that
01:25:27Yeah, we could kind of move our relationship into like a gray area
01:25:32That sounds pretty healthy to me
01:25:41Man, you were not kidding about your sister
01:25:44Van life? Give me a break
01:25:47Oh God
01:25:47I mean, I heard all kinds of words
01:25:49You're just like a bunch of nerds
01:25:51Yeah, I don't know how you could wake up in the morning
01:25:54And look at yourself in the mirror and see those people
01:25:55No, they're like yoga people
01:25:57You know, people who get up in the morning
01:25:59Do yoga and meditate
01:26:01It's like
01:26:02Ugh
01:26:03This is the worst people
01:26:04They're such fuckers
01:26:09Thinking about what we've been through
01:26:13The world can be a lonely place
01:26:18Baby, I'm so glad that I found you
01:26:23Now I got someone to embrace
01:26:28From the day you stole my heart
01:26:33I'm in forever
01:26:35Want to be a part
01:26:37Don't you feel the times are coming?
01:26:41Cause I feel it so strong
01:26:44I've been on hold, no baby
01:26:47Don't you feel the times are coming?
01:26:51When it feels so right to dance in the moonlight, baby, with you.
01:27:08Sometimes we all struggle.
01:27:12But when the sun's our face,
01:27:18I think of you and all my troubles.
01:27:24I've gone without a trace
01:27:28From all the things that are you.
01:27:33I know our love can see us through.
01:27:38Don't you feel the times are coming?
01:27:41Cause I feel it's so strong.
01:27:44I've been on hold on, baby.
01:27:48Don't you feel the times are coming?
01:27:52When it feels so right to dance in the moonlight, baby, with you.
01:28:07How wonderful life can be.
01:28:13No matter what's in store.
01:28:18As long as you and me, baby.
01:28:23We can open every door.
01:28:28From the day you stole my heart.
01:28:33I've never forget.
01:28:35Who cares about something?
01:28:36Through the JB and the number.
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