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TVTranscript
00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:31Oh, you look good.
00:33Yeah?
00:34I am proud of you.
00:35I'm proud of you.
00:36I love you.
00:37I love you so much.
00:39And I love you.
00:43And I love you.
00:50Oh, my God.
00:52Let's fucking go.
00:54Yeah.
00:55Do this.
00:56Okay, you better be home by 5.15.
01:02No problemo, babe.
01:07Yo.
01:08Stop.
01:09Stop.
01:09You're going to wake up the whole fucking neighborhood.
01:10Be fucking on time.
01:11Shit.
01:12Are you fucking kidding me?
01:13Yeah, I'm sorry.
01:14You got to give me a sec.
01:17Fucking.
01:18Oh, yeah.
01:19There it is.
01:20There it is.
01:21You get in the fucking car.
01:22You want me to go in that car?
01:23Get in the fucking car.
01:25Get in the car.
01:29Let's go.
01:30There's just nothing loud yet, all right?
01:33Just...
01:33Why are you slamming that for me?
01:35Why do you have to...
01:35Just fucking shut it.
01:37Slam it?
01:37Don't say you did when you did.
01:39I did this.
01:40You want to show me again?
01:41Yeah.
01:49How terrible is that fucking filth?
01:51Got it from fucking Go-Go's.
01:52He's pretty good.
01:53What is his look?
01:53Are they debit only now?
01:55What if you don't have a debit card, right?
01:57Then you're fucked.
01:57If you don't have a debit card, you got the debit card.
01:59You got to pay a fucking fee.
02:00It's fucking in the ass either way.
02:01Yeah, because if they do the credit card, then they got to pay a percentage of the credit card.
02:05I understand, but why fuck the customer?
02:07It's just for no reason.
02:11I got to tell you, Mike, this is kind of like a little bit of a glass half-empty kind
02:14of energy you're working with for this mission.
02:17Double-O fucking suck my dick?
02:18What do you mean a mission?
02:19Yo, we're fucking transporting some goods across state lines.
02:21We're taking a fucking tape box to Gary, Indiana.
02:24Gary fucking Indiana.
02:25That's where we're going.
02:26What's in the box?
02:27I don't know what's in the fucking box.
02:28It's tape.
02:28I just said state.
02:29You can tell me.
02:33All right.
02:34Fair enough.
02:34I don't need to know.
02:35You're a fucking donkey.
02:36That's what you fucking are.
02:37That's what you are.
02:37Fucking all.
02:38You don't even know what you're fucking taking.
02:39You're just fucking moving, donkey.
02:41I'm fucking packing you a donkey.
02:42I am a donkey.
02:43You ever see what a donkey's packing downstairs?
02:46You ever see that doggy downstairs?
02:52What's happening?
02:53Stay here.
02:54Is that Jimmy?
02:56Mike.
03:21Well, I'm like, you know.
03:25I'm going to kill you.
03:25Thank you, Mike.
03:30what are you doing good didn't i say stay in the car
03:34what man i said stay in the car why can't you just stay in the fucking car
03:37you didn't say stay in the car you didn't hear me say stay in the car
03:39yeah you didn't say it i didn't hear you say it because you didn't say it
03:42it's too much rich
03:43fucking dog huh i'm not a fucking dog you can't fucking tell me where to go
03:51yo you made a fucking did you make that yeah i made this
03:55tunes for gary come on baby let's do this
04:00oh oh oh oh i am gradual with the volume
04:05this is gradual with the volume that's exactly what i did i swear to god
04:09stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it well this fucking car i'm fucking leaving
04:13here you understand this is not this is this is not gradual
04:17like that that's not what i did i know how to i respect the fucking car
04:23now i want you to respect the fucking music
04:45the gracious ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah there he is there he is there he
04:54is
04:54Stop, stop. Don't fucking touch me. Stop, stop.
04:59Want to hear some fun facts about Gary?
05:01Can't wait.
05:02Guess the population.
05:0570,000.
05:07It is a Rust Belt city.
05:09It was once known as Magic City.
05:12It was once also known as the city of the century.
05:15City of the century.
05:1654% female.
05:17For those of us in the car that are, you know, not married, that might be a pretty fun fact.
05:23Obviously, John Cougar, Mellencamp.
05:25Michael Jackson fucking rang it down.
05:27Michael Jackson's from Gary.
05:28The whole Jackson 5 for that night.
05:29Could have fucking said Tito before fucking John Cougar, Mellencamp.
05:31All right.
05:32Oh shit, Coney King does a piece of puff.
05:34What?
05:35Coney King does a piece of puff.
05:37I thought that was just a Chicago thing.
05:40You trying to tell me you're not at all excited about traveling more?
05:43Traveling?
05:43Yeah.
05:44You're not just tired of the same old, same old?
05:46This is what I'm talking about, Michael.
05:47This is the fucking mission.
05:48Jimmy's entrusting us with some more responsibility.
05:50You've got the fucking open road ahead of us.
05:52You know, there's a lot of, you know, positive things about this day.
05:56Responsibility, huh?
05:57Yeah.
05:57Yeah.
05:58Feeling respected?
05:59Yeah.
06:00Yeah.
06:01I think the time you'll come to find that this is maybe a potentially transformative day.
06:06All right.
06:07We're on a great day.
06:08Bop down to Gary.
06:10Little bada bing, bada boom.
06:12Bop, bap, bap.
06:13We're fucking home by 5.15.
06:15The latest.
06:155.15 by 5.15.
06:17It's just the thing with Tiff that she's got superstition.
06:19Superstition about what?
06:20Her mom went into labor at 5.15.
06:22She got it in her head that she's going to, you know, the same thing that's going to happen
06:25with her.
06:26It's the stupidest fucking thing I ever heard in my life.
06:27I can't.
06:27Why would the same thing?
06:28I know.
06:29Literally, how many minutes are in a fucking day?
06:30There's like thousands of fucking minutes in a day.
06:32Why would it happen at the same time?
06:33Michael, I'm not saying that this makes any kind of sense at all.
06:35So we need to be back by 5.15 because her fucking mother spit her out.
06:37It's a non-issue.
06:39It's a non-issue.
06:40It's a non-issue.
06:40It is a fucking issue.
06:41If you're saying we've got to be back by 5.15, we'll be back by 5.15.
06:44That's why I'm saying it's a non-issue.
06:49You'd rather be fucking serving beefs all day?
06:52Look at open road.
07:03Well, I might take the train, I might take the plane, but if I'm to walk, I'm going
07:10just a saint, going to Kansas City, Kansas City, here I come.
07:18They've got some crazy little women there, and I'm going to give me one.
07:24Welcome to Indiana.
07:25You're a fucking world traveler.
07:28Let's go.
07:29Yeah, you feel different?
07:33Ah, yeah.
07:43City of magic.
07:45City of the century.
07:48You think this happened overnight?
07:49Oh, yeah.
07:50They just flipped a switch.
07:51And everything just went...
07:53Flipped a switch.
07:57Definitely doesn't feel like Chicago.
08:04It's fucking 35 minutes away.
08:07I don't know what to say.
08:09You're gonna get me one.
08:09She'll change, quick.
08:13They got some crazy little women there, and I'm gonna get me one.
08:21They got crazy little women...
08:30Call a chicken.
08:33Good.
08:45Hey!
08:46Hi, hon.
08:46Hey.
08:47How are you feeling?
08:50Uh, you know, I think I'm good.
08:53What do you mean?
08:54I don't know.
08:54I'm not sure how to describe it.
08:56It's just like...
08:57What?
08:58It's like I feel like I have to shit really bad, but I don't know.
09:01I can't tell if this is what the doctor said to look out for.
09:04Okay.
09:04Well, like...
09:06Contraction?
09:07I think it's like...
09:08Like...
09:08Like...
09:09Uh, yeah, probably.
09:11But, you know, I'll be okay.
09:11It's not close to 515 yet, so...
09:14Yeah?
09:14Yeah, don't worry.
09:15I'm okay.
09:16Okay.
09:16Did you do the drop-off?
09:17Uh, almost.
09:18Uh-huh.
09:19Well, I'm proud of you.
09:20I'm really proud of you.
09:21How's the drive?
09:21Are you having fun?
09:22Yeah.
09:23Yeah, we're having a good time.
09:25And how about Mikey?
09:26Is he okay?
09:27Yeah, he's good.
09:28Okay, that's great.
09:29Don't smoke any cigarettes, though, honey.
09:30Promise me, right?
09:31All right.
09:31Okay.
09:32Listen, I'm gonna call you back, okay?
09:33Just try me if you need anything, okay?
09:34I love you.
09:35Okay, I love you so much.
09:37What's up?
09:38What'd he say?
09:38He said he'd let us know in a few hours.
09:42Well, let us know.
09:44What's a few?
09:46Like three, four?
09:47Richie, I didn't say it.
09:47He said...
09:50Yeah, hours to killing Gary.
09:52You still feeling respected?
09:54Fuck it.
09:55It's just...
09:55I don't know.
09:56Let's get something to eat.
09:58You see that?
09:59It's Michael Jackson's house.
10:02Huh.
10:02Yeah.
10:04Shut up!
10:05Wooo!
10:05Ha ha ha ha.
10:13Lock the door.
10:15Reach in there.
10:19What is he?
10:20Teddy Pendergrass?
10:21Yes.
10:22We are.
10:22Oh, a little TP.
10:24Yes, I love TP.
10:24The romantic hot dog place you got here.
10:28Oh
10:29To the old-school music
10:31Yeah, and you know what they're saying
10:37Hi welcome to Tony King
10:39Nice to meet you. I'll be your server. Just let me know if you need anything
10:49How long you worked here? I've been working here five years. Five years. Yeah, that's business pretty good. It's great.
10:57Yeah, I love it
10:58You love it. What do you love about it? I like working with people, the public. That's the answer right
11:02there
11:03Michael hates people. Oh, man
11:06I don't like crowds. I don't hate people, but I just don't like crowds. You cook at home?
11:12You like the truth? Yeah, only the truth. No
11:15When I leave here, I don't want to go stand in front of a stove. That's it, huh? Don't cook
11:19at home?
11:21A little bit. Sometimes I roll some pots and pans, but I don't know not too much. I don't really
11:24cook at the restaurant, though
11:25So what kind of restaurant? Similar to this. Okay, do you cook? I do some cooking from time to time.
11:31Yeah, what do you do?
11:32What do I do at the restaurant? Yeah, what do you do?
11:37Like, I don't know how you say it, like kind of a bit of a song and dance, man. I
11:41don't know public relations, forward-facing
11:45Easy
11:45Dark lib
11:45Trevor one, what do you think the name of Annie?
11:54I don't know
11:58Throw some names at me like
12:03Timmy
12:05Call me crazy, but I actually like your name Althea.
12:09Althea?
12:09Althea.
12:10Althea sounds like the name of, like, somebody that's getting their ass kicked off.
12:13Nah.
12:14Althea?
12:14You're strong.
12:18Sounds like a nerd.
12:19Nah.
12:20Althea.
12:21Althea.
12:23Althea later.
12:27Althea around noon.
12:28Althea when I get back from total studies.
12:34Althea for dinner.
12:38Althea when I see you.
12:54Althea when I see you.
12:55Althea.
12:56Althea.
12:57Althea.
13:11Althea.
13:12Althea.
13:13Althea.
13:13Althea.
13:14Althea.
13:14Althea.
13:15Althea.
13:15Althea.
13:15Althea.
13:16Althea.
13:16Althea.
13:16Althea.
13:17Althea.
13:17Althea.
13:17Althea.
13:18Althea.
13:20Althea.
13:21Althea.
13:21Thank you, motherfuckers.
13:24You ready to get some?
13:25That's my second favorite sport right here.
13:28Hey, we got Knicks.
13:31Hey, what's the score of that game right there?
13:33Were you guys hoovering and picking daisies?
13:36Let me and my boy get one of you, we run threes.
13:38Which one?
13:39All right, come on, Daffodil.
13:40You ready to win?
13:41Yeah?
13:42Come here, young butt.
13:43What's going on?
13:43I'm Mikey.
13:44That's it, you Jader.
13:44What's up, buddy?
13:45How are you?
13:45Are we getting our balls like that?
13:47Y'all want five points?
13:48What's up, Mikey?
13:48What's up?
13:49All right, let's run.
13:50I don't even need to warm up.
13:52Come on, Rich.
13:53Let's go.
13:53Oh, shit.
13:55It's time for a little silk and sweet.
13:57Y'all want Rob?
13:58You sure you don't need to stretch?
13:59I'm about to stretch you, boy.
14:00Hold on, let's wait for him.
14:01You ready?
14:02Yeah.
14:02Hey, good luck, youngster.
14:04Let's go.
14:05Hold on, hold on.
14:05Let's go.
14:07Let's go.
14:07Come on.
14:09I don't know.
14:10I'm sorry.
14:11Where were you?
14:11All right, play, play, play.
14:12I got bigs.
14:13Go out there.
14:14Stay with him.
14:14Stay in front of me.
14:15Okay, come on.
14:16Oh.
14:17Ha-ha.
14:18That's going to hurt.
14:18Damn.
14:19Let's go.
14:19Yeah.
14:24You know it's the orange circle, right?
14:26It's the orange circle.
14:27You want to try to get it in that orange circle.
14:30Everyone's afraid of contact out here.
14:31Go to the back.
14:32Go to the back.
14:33That ain't happening.
14:34Don't be afraid.
14:35Come on.
14:35It won.
14:38Good for you.
14:38Mike, every dog has his day.
14:40All right, bring it down there again.
14:41It's because I'm covering three guys, Rich.
14:43Let's go.
14:43Play ball.
14:44Ha-ha-ha.
14:46Oh, yeah.
14:47Whoa.
14:49It's every time he's beating in the back fucking door.
14:52Yo.
14:52Keep the fucking door shut.
14:53Do not let him get behind you.
14:56It's...
14:57All right, let's go.
14:58Nice play.
14:59Oh, where you going?
15:01Yeah.
15:01Fuck.
15:02That's what I'm talking about.
15:03Hey, you got it.
15:03That's one.
15:04That's one.
15:04Let's go.
15:05Hey.
15:06Come on.
15:06Yo.
15:07Hit one.
15:08Come on.
15:09That's a good shot, boy.
15:10Bank's fucking open.
15:11All day long.
15:12I see it.
15:12Hey.
15:13Hey.
15:13Hey.
15:14It's a shot that fucking counts, right?
15:15Let's go.
15:16Play defense, hot shot.
15:19Hands up.
15:20Let's go.
15:22You all right?
15:23You all right?
15:25No.
15:25Let's go.
15:26Play ball.
15:26Check up.
15:27Check up.
15:28He's crying.
15:29I tell you what, they breed him soft out here in Indiana, huh?
15:31Huh?
15:32It ain't the 80s.
15:33It ain't the 80s.
15:34It ain't the 80s.
15:35Let's go.
15:36Yeah, I don't like it.
15:36Did you change your diaper before the game?
15:38Like, do you just play?
15:39What do you got to swim?
15:40Hey, where's the deep one?
15:41You play with a swimmer?
15:42Let's go.
15:43Next basket wins.
15:44No.
15:45Set the ball.
15:45Yes, sir.
15:46Yes, sir.
15:46Get off this, baby.
15:49Let's fucking go.
15:50Listen to that scream.
15:51I'm a fucking lion.
15:52I love it.
15:53I love you, boy.
15:54All day.
15:55Hey, good shit.
15:56Good shit, youngsters.
15:56Good shit.
15:57Look at that.
15:58Look at what he's doing.
15:59Hey, young buck.
16:00You're not so bad.
16:01You should miss a back.
16:01How do you miss a back door there?
16:03You see the back of his head?
16:04You got to cut to the back.
16:04You're not passing the ball.
16:05That's what I've been trying to tell you.
16:07You guys are fucking garbage.
16:08The Indiana guys are fucking garbage.
16:10Hey, shut your old bitch ass up.
16:12You're negative.
16:14You're negative.
16:15You know what I'm actually about to do?
16:16No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:18Sorry, let him play.
16:19Let him play.
16:19Let him play.
16:20We love you.
16:20We love you.
16:21Yo, your fucking Nikes look like fucking moccasins.
16:28Fellas, let's be real.
16:30Gary, Indiana.
16:39Hey, you got tall boys?
16:41No tall boys.
16:42Regular boys, like you.
16:45Yeah, buddy.
16:48What do we got here?
16:50Hey, yo, yo, yo, why you creeping?
16:54Come on, give me some of that O.E.
16:56I'm gonna focus some of that.
16:59Drink your beer and get out.
17:01Okay, okay.
17:01Don't drink beer in store.
17:03Yo.
17:04I feel sorry for your mother.
17:06Come on.
17:06What'd you say about my mama?
17:09Sorry about my friend.
17:12Two, please.
17:14Let me get a scratch card.
17:17Crescent kick is a defensive maneuver.
17:19That's just, you know, clearing space.
17:21Just to fucking...
17:22Snap kick is for speed.
17:25Don't even see that fucker coming.
17:26But then if you need power, then, you know, it's just fucking side kick.
17:29Bah!
17:29All day.
17:30Break a fucker's knee, right?
17:31Bah!
17:32Woo!
17:32That's it.
17:33Let's help that shit.
17:33Want me to tell you what the move is, though?
17:35Yeah.
17:35Look, dude, I don't want to fight you at all.
17:36I'm just going home.
17:37That's it.
17:38Fucking back kick.
17:40Right?
17:41Back kick.
17:42I was getting there.
17:42Power's out.
17:43Ding dong, motherfucker.
17:44Oh, be careful, man.
17:47Be careful.
17:48We'll get it on the...
17:48Hey, I'm so sorry, bud.
17:50Boom!
17:50Fuck out!
17:51And it's like so many...
17:52It's like a fucking mule.
17:53Like, think about a mule.
17:54Like, it's these big...
17:55You're actually generating force with, like, the big fucking muscles.
17:58Whoa!
17:58You know what I'm saying?
17:59Yeah.
17:59It's because you're already going this direction, then you come in that direction.
18:02Yeah.
18:02You see, I just...
18:03Even, like, the sight of it.
18:04You know what I mean?
18:04Yeah.
18:05Fuck yeah.
18:15Why are we starving?
18:19Christmas, good.
18:23Woo-hoo!
18:49Yes, sir.
18:51Oh, yes, sir.
18:53You're fucking unbelievable, bud.
19:00You got fucking magic powers, y'all.
19:05And your fingers start to poppin' and your beat start to movin' around.
19:09And if you start to swing and squaves and a band start to play a real cool and way out
19:15sound.
19:16And if you get the can, help me, man, you can't sit down.
19:20You feel like you gotta move around.
19:23You need a shot of rhythm and blues.
19:25With just a little rock and roll on the side.
19:28Just for the...
19:29Oh, oh, school, bud.
19:31School, bud.
19:32When you love her by your side, then you know you're gonna have a lot of pressure.
19:36Don't you worry about a thing.
19:38You're gonna dance and sing until I come upon you.
19:42And when that rhythm finally hits you and the beat gets it down.
19:46You see that sign?
19:47Huh?
19:48Cousin, you see that sign right over there?
19:50Yeah.
19:54I think...
19:56Did you see it before?
19:58What are you talking about?
19:59I'm saying there's no way.
20:02The two of us are sittin' here for over an hour and neither of us have seen that fuckin' sign
20:08right there.
20:10Yeah, Rich, it's a fuckin' sign.
20:13I think that bar just appeared.
20:15Yo, for real?
20:16Shut the fuck.
20:17For real, though?
20:18I think that bar just fuckin' appeared.
20:20Michael.
20:20Okay.
20:21Bar just fuckin' appeared, Rich.
20:22You don't think that's crazy?
20:23I don't.
20:24It's a fuckin' bar.
20:26It's a sign.
20:28It's a sign.
20:30Open.
20:31That sign's a sign.
20:34That sign's a sign.
20:36We're goin' in there.
20:38Are you fuckin' regarded?
20:39Are you fuckin' with me sitting here an hour?
20:40He's gonna call any minute.
20:41We're not goin' in the fuckin' bar.
20:42What's the big deal?
20:43We run in.
20:44We're a little fuckin' shot of rhythm and blues.
20:45We're not goin' in the fuckin' bar, Rich.
20:47Just sit down and do your fuckin' job.
20:48Listen to what I'm tellin' you, Michael.
20:49That sign is the sign.
20:51Okay, it's a fuckin' sign.
20:51Some things are bigger than you and me and fuckin' Jimmy.
20:53We are goin' in there.
20:54We're not goin' in the fuckin' bar.
20:55Just sit the fuckin' down.
20:56I hate when you get like this.
20:58I fuckin' hate that.
20:59Don't hit the fuck.
20:59What are you doin'?
21:00What are you fuckin' doin'?
21:00Fine, all right.
21:01You're right, you're right.
21:03You're right.
21:04We can't do it.
21:05Right.
21:08What are you doin'?
21:09Hey, Richie, get in the fuckin' car.
21:11Rich.
21:12Sir, can you please step out of the vehicle?
21:15Sir, please.
21:15I'm not gonna ask you again.
21:16Please step out of the vehicle.
21:18License and registrate.
21:19Okay, that's it.
21:20Put your vagina where I can see it.
21:22Put your vagina right where I can see it.
21:24There's fuckin' houses.
21:25Stop.
21:25Yo.
21:26Yo, come on.
21:27Come on, we're not goin'.
21:28Yo, come on, let's just go.
21:29I'm not doing that fuckin' beer.
21:30No.
21:31Just a little shot of rhythm and blues and we come back.
21:32I'm not doin' it.
21:33No, no.
21:34You're fuckin' here.
21:34You fuckin' do a shot of fuckin' cocaine.
21:37You think you'd fight a fuckin' tiger?
21:40Stop.
21:41It's fuckin' terrible.
21:41What's terrible?
21:42I'm like genuinely inspired here.
21:44You're just shittin' all over my fuckin' dreams.
21:47It's terrible.
21:49I hope you feel good about yourself right now.
21:51I'm pressuring you.
21:52God.
21:54All right, fuck you.
21:56I'm goin' in.
21:57You're goin'?
21:57I'm goin' in.
21:59Oh, shh.
22:01Yo.
22:02I'm good?
22:03How do I look?
22:04You look like a fuckin' barbarian.
22:05You look like my father.
22:07All right, I'm goin' in.
22:08Yo.
22:10Pumpkin TV.
22:12Yeah!
22:13All right.
22:15You'll fuckin' see.
22:17You'll fuckin' see.
22:20You're gonna remember this fuckin' day.
22:34That's a fuckin' sign!
22:36Wait!
22:42I don't know.
22:47Wait!
22:50Hey!
22:50$100,000!
23:01I don't know.
23:02Leave my vaccine!
23:04So yeah."
23:05Why do you want me to fight?
23:05You won't go?'
23:05Woo!
23:05I don't know what you want.
23:06But the times...
23:09Thinking of a master plan
23:10This ain't nothing but sweat inside my hand
23:13So I dig into my pocket
23:14All my money's spent
23:15So I believe up
23:16Still coming up for Lent
23:17So I start a mission
23:19Leave my residence
23:20Thinking how I could have
23:21Here's some dead presents
23:22I need money
23:23I used to be a stick-up kid
23:24So I think of all the devious things I did
23:26I used to roll up
23:27This is a hole up
23:28Ain't nothing funny
23:29Stop smiling
23:29Still don't move but the money
23:31But now I've learned to earn
23:32Cause I'm righteous
23:33I feel great
23:34So maybe I might
23:36Just search for a nine to five
23:37Five to five
23:38Hey
23:40You Mike?
23:43Yeah
23:46Is it true?
23:48What's that?
23:50You're one of the goalies for the Blackhawks?
23:53Uh
23:55Yeah?
23:56E-bug?
23:59That's right
24:02What is that?
24:03What's an E-bug?
24:04I see emergency backup goalie
24:07Yeah
24:09I like never play
24:10But
24:11I'm with the squad
24:12That's cool
24:14That's cool
24:17Yeah, your buddy told us about you
24:20Yeah
24:21I bet he did
24:22He also said
24:23Tell you to put your big boy pants on
24:28And join us in the bar
24:30And join us in the bar
24:30Sounds about right
24:33Oh boy
24:34Just the messenger
24:35I got it
24:35Okay
24:36Pretty fun though
24:37Okay
24:37I think you like it
24:55Okay
24:56Okay
24:56Okay
24:56Okay, okay, okay
25:33My senior year
25:38I was doing pretty well in school
25:39But with fucking maths
25:41I'm with my fucking Lambune
25:42You know
25:43So
25:43Hey, look who the cat drug is
25:45Hey, everybody
25:46You see this?
25:47Fucking great
25:50Um
25:51So my grandma
25:52She gave me an ultimatum
25:53She was like
25:54You gotta get a math tutor
25:55And so she told me about this lady
25:57Rock Solano
25:59Who sang in her church choir
26:00Who
26:00She was like
26:01A math professor
26:03For Cook's County Community
26:06And I was like
26:06No fucking way, grandma
26:07I don't want to fucking do this
26:08I don't want to do the math tutor
26:09With some fucking 90 year old
26:10Like, you know
26:11Fucking babushka
26:12Like, yeah
26:13You know what I'm saying
26:14Like
26:15So
26:15But she was like
26:16Listen, you gotta do it
26:17Or you gotta move out
26:17So
26:18Come Thursday
26:197.30
26:20I'm at this dude's house
26:22Eating his fucking mom's golden lasagne
26:24You know
26:25Okay
26:25And I realized
26:26Like, I gotta be
26:27At, uh
26:28At Rock Solano
26:29This Tudor's
26:30You know
26:30In like five minutes
26:31So I fucking down my cranberry juice
26:33And I fucking sprint over there
26:34Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
26:35Knock on the door
26:37And this fucking woman
26:38That opens the door
26:39I swear to God
26:40Like, straight out of
26:41Sports Illustrated
26:43Fucking swimsuit issue
26:44This is the most gorgeous woman
26:46I've ever seen
26:47Up to this point
26:48Jet black hair
26:49Long
26:50All the way down
26:51Just kissing kind of
26:51The top of her butt
26:52You know
26:52And
26:53We get in
26:54What?
26:55What?
26:55What?
26:56What?
26:56What?
26:57You guys willing to
26:58Factor fix me yet
26:59Or you wanna hear more of the story?
27:00You wanna hear the story?
27:01Yeah, you wanna hear the story
27:02Okay
27:02Alright
27:03So we get in there
27:05We're talking math
27:06And all of a sudden
27:07I feel
27:08My entire insides
27:10Just turn to liquid
27:11And
27:12I gotta take a shit
27:13Like
27:13Man
27:14But I know
27:15She got one little
27:15Bathroom right there
27:17This tiny thing
27:17I know if I go in there
27:18She's gonna hear
27:20Everything
27:20You know
27:21And I'm just like
27:22I mean
27:23On the outside
27:23I'm cool as a cucumber
27:25You know
27:25We're talking math
27:26And on the inside
27:27I'm just like
27:28Come on asshole
27:29Don't you fucking
27:29Fail me now baby
27:30And somehow
27:32By the grace of God
27:34I make it through
27:35This fucking
27:36Tutor session
27:37Right?
27:38That's not helpful
27:39So
27:40It's not a pleasure to meet you
27:42I'll see you next Thursday
27:42You know
27:43Bah bah bah
27:43I get outside
27:44And I'm like
27:45Yes
27:45I'm gonna fucking make it
27:46I start to walk
27:47Quickly back up
27:48Back down
27:49And
27:49It just comes out
27:51That's it
27:51And it's just like
27:53That's what's
27:53That's what is happening
27:55And I'm just
27:56I start to pull my
27:57Draws down
27:58My pants down
27:58I look like
27:59One of those
28:00Photographs of the guys
28:01That just discovered oil
28:02You know
28:03Like
28:03Stuff is gurgling
28:04I can't tell
28:05What's coming up
28:05And it's just like
28:06Some mud
28:07And shit
28:08And everywhere
28:09And
28:10And it's
28:11Like
28:12I have this
28:12Incredible feeling
28:13Of relief
28:14Right?
28:15Until
28:15I see her little
28:16Porch light come on
28:17And time slows down
28:18And I see her
28:20Doorknob turn
28:21And open
28:22And I look at her
28:23And she looks at me
28:24Very quickly
28:25And then she quickly
28:25Looks away
28:26And I just
28:29Fucking
28:29Take off
28:30Through the hedges
28:31And I'm just
28:32Fucking running
28:32I'm just heading
28:33Right back to
28:34Michael's house
28:35I'm covered with
28:35Brambles
28:36And my balls
28:37Are slapping
28:37On either side
28:38And I just got
28:39Like a trail
28:39Behind me
28:41And I just
28:41Can't stop laughing
28:42And I'm crying
28:44With laughter
28:44Because I know
28:44In six blocks
28:45Down fucking Milwaukee
28:46I'm going to be
28:46At this dude's house
28:47And I'm going to
28:48Tell him this story
28:49And this motherfucker
28:49Is going to love it
28:51Factor fiction
28:56Sadly
28:56Sadly
28:57It is a bad
28:58Sadly
28:58It is a fucking
29:00Bad
29:01I love you
29:05I'm alright
29:05I'm alright
29:05This is what's on me
29:07I gotta subject you guys
29:08To
29:08Alright
29:09I'll be right back
29:10I'll be right back
29:20You know I know right
29:27You know I know
29:28You're not a goalie
29:29Uh
29:30Yes
29:31Yes
29:32Total bullshit
29:37I'll give it away
29:42Something in your eyes
29:43Yeah
29:43Fair
29:47You prefer Mike
29:49Mikey
29:50Michael
29:52It's got to be
29:53Your call
29:53Yeah
29:55Perfect
29:57Perfect
29:57Up to the customer
30:00How about you
30:01What's your name
30:04Guess
30:04Guess
30:07Oh man
30:08I definitely
30:09Where'd you
30:10I don't know
30:10What
30:12Oh boy
30:13Shonda
30:14Shit
30:15Shit
30:15Shit
30:16Fuck I don't know
30:17Sherry
30:17Sherry okay
30:20Sherry from Gary
30:20Oh hey
30:21That's the first time
30:21I've ever heard that
30:28You don't want to play the game huh
30:30Yeah
30:32I don't know
30:32That one's for me
30:33I mean
30:35You
30:35You want to go
30:36Who's
30:38Sure
30:38I don't know
30:39Yeah
30:41Actor fiction
30:43Like one
30:45Okay
30:48Ask me a question
30:50You from here
30:56I am not
30:58From Indiana
31:00I am from Portland
31:03Maine
31:04Not Oregon
31:04Okay
31:07What are you doing here
31:10Needed to start over
31:11Okay
31:12I need to get away from someone
31:14Something
31:15Got in my 88 Honda Accord
31:17And started driving west
31:18And my car broke down
31:19Not too far from here
31:21My mom's favorite movie
31:23Was 11 in the afternoon
31:24Starring Gary Cooper
31:27She always said
31:28She would have named me Gary
31:28If I was a boy
31:29So I saw the sign
31:30And I was like
31:31Alright ma
31:33Stayed one night
31:34It was quiet
31:36I like a ghost town
31:38You know what I mean
31:41Capstan
31:42Work at this jazz joint
31:44Jazz
31:45Joint
31:45Down on Broadway
31:46Called Dirties
31:47Dirties
31:47Yeah I work the bar
31:48You like it
31:49It's great
31:50Why
31:52Come on
31:53What's not to like
31:54About a diving
31:54Jazz and blues
31:56Joint in Gary
31:57Indiana
32:03That is a fact
32:07Fiction
32:08No
32:08Really
32:09Yeah
32:09Fuck
32:10Fuck
32:13I carry Cooper
32:14Shit
32:14No
32:14So I start this
32:15Motherfucker
32:16No that's real
32:16No that's real
32:17No that's not
32:17Oh fuck
32:20Tiff it's me
32:21It's Richie
32:21Wait no
32:22I can barely hear you
32:23Tiff it's me
32:24Richard
32:25Where are you
32:27I'm in fucking Gary
32:28So loud there
32:29It's going so good
32:31You sound like
32:32You're in a bar
32:32You're in a bar
32:33We're in a bar
32:34Why are you in a bar
32:36Cause the clients
32:38Why are you in a shit
32:40The clients
32:41From Jimmy
32:41Tiff it's going
32:42So fucking good
32:43Mikey is so smooth
32:45So fucking smooth
32:47Mikey is so smooth
32:49We're having such a good time
32:55How are you feeling
32:59And do it again
33:01Yeah
33:01Alright
33:02I was born and raised
33:03Right the fuck here
33:04Here in Indiana
33:04I lived here my whole life
33:05I love to travel
33:07Gone everywhere
33:07But I lived here my whole life
33:09I love trains
33:10Do not put me on a boat
33:13Let's see
33:13I've got two older sisters
33:15They got a different dad
33:16Who I thought was Santa Claus
33:18I thought I was 11 years old
33:19I'm not sure
33:20Thinking about that one
33:22I had ovarian cancer
33:23When I was 22
33:26My mom was okay
33:28My dad is not
33:29I had a three-legged dog
33:32And I'm lucky
33:33He's a cool student dad
33:36And I studied to be an arborist
33:38An arborist?
33:40Yeah
33:41You got trees
33:42I do
33:43You do?
33:43Why?
33:43You got trees
33:46Quiet
33:47Sturdy
33:48Reliable
33:48They're always there
33:49When you need them
33:51And they're pretty
33:56That's a fucking fact
33:59Maybe
34:02It's a fact
34:05Maybe, maybe not
34:06What makes you say
34:07It's a fact?
34:08You just
34:09I don't know
34:10You're speaking from your heart
34:12Right?
34:18What are you looking for, Michael?
34:28Get anything?
34:29No
34:40You want a serum?
34:50I mean, you just called me Sarah
34:54I'm pretty hungry
34:57You know what he fucking calls me
35:00Okay, so
35:01It's 3.17 right now
35:03I got enough time to be home by 5.15, right?
35:06Oh, yeah
35:06Right, dude?
35:08Yeah
35:08Yeah
35:09Oh, if the train isn't running
35:10Oh, all right
35:11What happens with the train?
35:13You'll get caught
35:14It is
35:16Oh
35:17Jones
35:17Oh
35:19Okay
35:19All right, thanks, guys
35:21Leave yourself a buffer
35:22That's the kind of whole operation, you know
35:25So you like work for him?
35:27Mm
35:27I mean, I'm self-employed, you know
35:30Yeah
35:31Yeah
35:31So you're the boss
35:36There are a lot of people that depend on you
35:39You don't depend on a lot of people
35:42I bet you're a good leader
35:49People like
35:53People say things about me
35:56And what do they say?
35:59They say that I don't finish things
36:04Fact or fiction, Michael
36:09You mind if I do a moment?
36:12I thought you were going to be you
36:17Yes
36:18That's the coolest thing I've ever heard
36:24Do you plan to be there for him?
36:25Yeah, yeah
36:25No, I'm going to be back
36:26We're just down here
36:27One, two
36:27Wrapping up some business
36:28And then I'll be back up there
36:30Put my catcher's mitt on
36:32Ready to fucking go
36:33Yeah
36:34Yeah
36:35I can't tell you
36:36I feel like a birthday wish
36:37No, no, no
36:37I would tell you
36:38But my wife's got all
36:39She's all superstitious
36:40About a lot of this stuff
36:41And she's like
36:42She doesn't want to be
36:43Consider
36:44Grabbing a girl
36:44I can tell you we're having a girl
36:45Oh
36:46Yeah, yeah
36:50You guys
36:51I'm good
36:51No
36:57There was this
36:58When I was a kid, you know
37:03My mom, she used to do this thing
37:05Where like
37:05She was like
37:07On like the perfect mixture
37:08Of like all kinds of fucking things
37:09In her system
37:10You know
37:10It's just perfect
37:11She'd like come to my room
37:13In the middle of the night
37:14You know
37:14And she'd like scratch my back
37:15And she had like the longest nails
37:17And she just
37:17You know
37:18And she used to
37:18She used to walk me through my day
37:20You know
37:21Like
37:21Like the most fucking minute details
37:23You know
37:24Like describing every little fucking bit
37:25The fabric of the fucking day
37:27You know
37:27Like what we were going to eat
37:28When we were going to wake up
37:29What I was going to wear
37:29What was going to be on the radio
37:30Like every fucking thing
37:31You know
37:32And just like
37:34It would make me feel like
37:35I don't know
37:36Like I
37:36It would just make me feel so relaxed
37:38Yeah
37:38Yeah
37:39Yeah
37:39And like no matter what was going to happen that day
37:41It didn't matter
37:42Like fucking tests
37:43Or some shit bag
37:44I had to fucking deal with
37:45Like I knew that
37:46And she had planned it for me
37:47It was great
37:48And then I remember
37:48There was just one time
37:49I was like
37:50Hey ma
37:52Hey ma
37:52Will you come in and tell me
37:53About my day tomorrow
37:54And she was like
37:56She got angry
37:57You know
37:57And she was like
37:58She was like
37:58Mikey
37:59What the fucking difference does it make
38:01It's just a day
38:04Like
38:06I just didn't understand
38:07How that could be
38:07Like
38:09Like
38:10Like how that could be the same person
38:11You know
38:13That's so scary
38:15Yeah
38:19She shouldn't have done that
38:34His first impulse
38:35Was the fucking movie
38:37You know what I'm saying
38:38You know
38:39The one without the narration
38:40That's the one
38:42Okay
38:43I gotta call my uncle
38:45Call him
38:46All right
38:46Call him
38:46Let's all
38:47Everyone call their uncle
38:48Jimmy it's rich
38:49Where the fuck are you
38:51All right
38:51Call me back
38:54This is just like
38:57You know
38:57This way of seeing the world
38:58You know
38:58Like this perspective
38:59You know
39:00This lens that I've always had
39:01Like these things
39:01That just bother people
39:02And hurt people
39:03And get frustrated
39:04Or furious
39:05You know
39:05Like to me
39:06It just
39:08I never got it
39:09Like it didn't affect me like that
39:10No
39:10It doesn't fucking
39:11Nothing matters
39:12Nothing fucking matters
39:13Nothing fucking matters
39:14And I get that
39:15Right
39:15It's meaningless
39:16So why
39:18And when I go on that trip
39:20Like I could catch this groove
39:21You know
39:21Sometimes for like weeks
39:22At a time
39:23You know
39:23Like sometimes for months
39:24I just like have
39:25This like bliss
39:26You know
39:27And yeah
39:27I know I'm like
39:29I'm like all fucking
39:30Like babbling and shit
39:31Like here in a fucking bathroom
39:32Like a fucking baby
39:32But I could be
39:34Like I could be a fucking blast
39:35I can be a blast
39:36Like I can share it
39:37You know
39:37And then
39:39All of a sudden
39:39Like out of nowhere
39:40Those same thoughts
39:41Like this kind of meaninglessness
39:42Of it all
39:43You know
39:46It like makes me sad
39:47Yeah
39:48Nothing matters
39:49It sets you free
39:50But then where are you
39:51Right
39:51It's the same thing
39:52You know where
39:52It's the same thing
39:53And I don't like
39:55Like so sad
39:56Like I'm fucking drowning
39:57My jaw feels fucking
39:58Like a million fucking pounds
39:59And I
39:59It's like
40:00I don't wanna
40:01It sounds exhausting
40:06It must be really tired
40:14I don't wanna
40:28I'm sorry.
40:30I'm sorry.
40:33I'm sorry.
40:35I'm sorry.
40:41I'm just going to go.
40:42I'm just going to go.
41:12Yeah, Rich, I'm good, I'm good, I'm coming.
41:14All right, we gotta go.
41:16Yeah.
41:17Sorry, I'm sorry to interrupt you guys.
41:18We gotta go.
41:19Okay, we're going.
41:20Rich, don't do that.
41:21I said I'm coming.
41:22I'm serious.
41:22Okay, we're fucking going.
41:25Cousin, he said he hasn't heard from you all day.
41:29This guy is weak.
41:30Okay, I heard you.
41:31Cousin, I'm coming.
41:32All right.
41:32Fuck, man.
41:34That's...
41:51Hey, I'll come back.
41:59Let's go.
42:02Okay.
42:09Let's go.
42:38It's a good time, we gotta go.
42:39You look like fucking Ronald McDonald, what's going on?
42:42No, your phone is dead, huh?
42:46Michael, come on.
42:47What's the name of the phone?
42:48What is it, a capital crime?
42:49What's the problem?
42:49Where's the fire?
42:51Where's the fire?
42:52We're going, we're going.
42:53Okay, okay.
42:56Hey, let's hit it.
42:58Yeah.
42:58Yo, we're out of here.
43:01What about my turn?
43:02Let's meet you guys.
43:02Let's meet you guys, right?
43:03It's been a pleasure to meet you.
43:04Hang on, hang on.
43:06Hey, we're in America though, right?
43:07Last time I checked, Gary, Indiana is in the sovereign United States.
43:10Is it not Vanessa?
43:11Are we not in America?
43:12Everybody get a turn?
43:13Everybody gets a turn.
43:14How great are you fucking people?
43:16How great is this fucking place?
43:19This place got fucking off.
43:21That's what I was trying to tell you.
43:22It's magic.
43:23This place is magic.
43:26All right.
43:28You know, we're just a pair of fucking wired and worried travelers and we fucking love
43:32it here.
43:32We thank you.
43:33We thank you, Gary, fucking Indiana.
43:35We thank you.
43:36Magic.
43:37Magic.
43:38You know, I just want to take this opportunity because right now, my fine furry cousin right
43:45there, my fucking best friend, any second now he's going to be a dad.
43:51And not only that, not only that, not only that, hey, he's happy.
43:57He's happy.
43:59Rich, you're happy.
44:01Right now, I swear, this is the most, it's like the most healthy and like, you're full.
44:10You're full.
44:11And I love it.
44:13He's in love.
44:14You know, fucker cannot wait to be a father either.
44:18I mean, he can't fucking, he can't, he can't fucking wait.
44:21I mean, he, he's got this pride.
44:26You're glowing, Rich.
44:30You're glowing.
44:31I love you.
44:32It's my fucking boy.
44:32I love you.
44:33I love you.
44:34I love you so much.
44:37Look at him.
44:37He's going to be a dad.
44:38Look at him.
44:39That's going to be a father.
44:40That right there is going to be a father, right?
44:43Fucking kid's going to end up abandoned and alone just like he was.
44:47But hey, shit.
44:48Hey, at least you went into it with a good fucking mindset.
44:50Right, kid?
44:51Huh?
44:51I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no.
44:52It's okay.
44:53No, I love it.
44:53That's, that's the thing.
44:54That's the thing you got to know about Rich, man, is that the one thing that you can absolutely
44:59fucking depend on with this fucking guy is that if he is involved, he's going to fuck
45:03it up.
45:04I mean, he is going to fuck it up and everybody knows it.
45:06I mean, no, no, nobody says it, right?
45:08Nobody says it.
45:09Everybody's a fucking coward and a fucking liar, but this isn't going to be any fucking different.
45:12I mean, he's going to fuck this thing.
45:14He's going to, his entire life is a fucking bed that he took a shit in the middle of and
45:18he just smears it.
45:19And that's what's beautiful.
45:19Look at him.
45:20It's beautiful.
45:21But he's got to fuck this up too.
45:22Right?
45:23No, no, no, no, no.
45:24It's okay.
45:24It's okay.
45:24Everybody knows it.
45:26They don't say it, but they look.
45:28Ooh.
45:29Ooh.
45:30Look at his eyes.
45:31Look at those beady little fucking eyes.
45:32He knows it too.
45:33That's the fucking thing.
45:34He knows it too.
45:35Well, all right, what?
45:36We got to go.
45:36We got to go.
45:37We got it.
45:38Where are we going?
45:39Where are we fucking going?
45:41Yo, we got this meat.
45:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:42We got it.
45:42You know what you ought to do?
45:43You ought to get in the fucking truck and just start fucking driving.
45:46Just fucking bolt.
45:48Just fucking.
45:48You want to do that kid of yours a favor?
45:50Just fucking bolt.
45:51Just fucking hit the fucking road and do not come back.
45:53You want to do him a favor, right?
45:54Okay.
45:55No, okay.
45:55It's fine.
45:55It's fine.
45:56It doesn't matter.
45:57It's the truth.
45:58It's the truth.
45:59What, are you going to be a good father?
46:00Is that what you got to be?
46:01Oh, Ronald McDonald , are you going to be a good father?
46:04Are you going to be a good father?
46:05It doesn't matter.
46:06It doesn't matter.
46:07Just say it.
46:08Just say it.
46:08You're going to fuck it up, right?
46:09Come on, you're not mad.
46:10Don't be mad.
46:11You're not mad.
46:13Are you mad?
46:14Are you mad?
46:15You're not mad.
46:16You're not mad?
46:16There's no!
46:17Hey!
46:18Stop it.
46:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
46:20Stop it.
46:20Oh.
46:21He's telling the fucking truth, finally.
46:23He's telling the fucking truth.
46:25Say it again.
46:25You hate me?
46:26You hate me, Rich?
46:28You gotta fuck this up, Rich.
46:29Just say that and we'll go.
46:30Say it and we'll go.
46:31Oh, oh, oh, oh.
46:37Stop, unless you're not lying anymore.
46:39Why you doing this?
46:40I love you.
46:41Why you doing this?
46:42I love you.
46:45You're a coward, Rich.
46:46You're a fucking coward.
46:48I'm a coward.
46:49You're a coward.
46:50I'm a coward.
46:53Coward.
47:03I'm a coward.
47:05Kid's gonna hate you, Rich.
47:09Kid's gonna...
47:11This is it.
47:16No, no, no, no.
47:18Mm-mm.
47:20No, no, no.
47:22Damn.
47:26Damn.
48:36Hey, what are you, Mikey?
48:43This is for Jimmy.
48:56What's in the box?
48:57This is for Jimmy.
48:59I'm sorry.
48:59I'm sorry.
49:04I'm sorry.
49:07I'm sorry.
49:08I'm sorry.
49:34I'm sorry.
49:38I'm sorry.
49:43I'm sorry.
49:47I'm sorry.
49:48I'm sorry.
49:48I'm sorry.
50:14I'm sorry.
50:15I'm sorry.
50:16I'm sorry.
50:17I'm sorry.
50:31I'm sorry.
50:33I'm sorry.
50:41I'm sorry.
50:44I'm sorry.
50:49I'm sorry.
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