- 20 hours ago
Chasing The Girl He Hid
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The summer I turned 18, Asher made me cross a line I could never take back.
00:04I bit my lip through the ache, glowing secretly all night,
00:08convinced that six long years of loving him from a distance had finally, finally paid off.
00:13Then the next morning, I heard his friend laughing outside the classroom door.
00:16Okay, okay. Got the nerd to give it up, huh?
00:20My face burned, and I turned to slip away before anyone saw me.
00:24I'm trying to get with Chloe, but she'd think I was too inexperienced.
00:27So I'll use Stella to get some practice in first.
00:30I didn't say a single word.
00:31I just quietly changed my college application from NYU to a school thousand miles away in California.
00:37His words hit me like a thunderclap out of a cloudless summer sky.
00:41No warning at all. My mind went completely blank.
00:44It was a scorching July afternoon, but I felt like ice was spreading through every inch of my body.
00:49The guys inside kept talking, pausing only for a half second before someone else piped up.
00:55Classic Ashen, even Stella was just a warm-up for him.
00:58Everyone knows how hard it is to get into her pants.
01:03So what does that make her? Like, a practice dully?
01:08Asher just laughed it off.
01:11Relax. She got something out of it, too.
01:13I mean, Stella's cute and all, but compared to Chloe, yeah, no contest.
01:17Right.
01:18Asher threw a textbook at him to shut him up.
01:21It was just a vibe, okay? The moment happened, and honestly, she seemed like she was enjoying herself.
01:27The guys all exchanged knowing looks and started roasting him.
01:30Who knew the book bird was that freaky under all those cardigans?
01:34Bro, Asher's just built different. Why leave free food on the table, right?
01:38She's been chasing him for years.
01:40Technically, she got what she wanted.
01:42The laughter inside the room got noticeably louder.
01:45I pressed my teeth into my lower lips so hard I tasted copper.
01:49Both hands balled into white-knuckled fists.
01:51It took every single ounce of willpower I had to stay upright,
01:54to not just crumple right there in the doorway.
01:57Footsteps echoed down the hall toward me.
01:59I snapped back to reality and bolted, shoving my way blindly through the corridor.
02:03In my panic, I threw myself into the nearest bathroom stall and locked the door behind me.
02:12The tears came like a dam breaking, grief and humiliation pouring out all at once.
02:17Asher's words played on a loop inside my head.
02:20Every single syllable.
02:21They shredded what little self-worth I had left.
02:24If I hadn't heard it with my own ears,
02:26I never could have believed that the guy talking in there was the same one who had held me
02:30like I was something precious just last night.
02:33Turns out, you don't actually need to love someone to do that with them.
02:36Turns out, you can look a girl dead in the eyes,
02:38make her feel everything,
02:40and still be lying through every single second of it.
02:43The thing I thought was my happily ever after
02:45was just a punchline someone else got to laugh at.
02:48The more I cried, the worse it got.
02:50I couldn't make a sound.
02:52My whole body was shaking so hard I could barely breathe.
02:55A long time passed.
02:57My phone buzzed.
02:58It was Asher.
02:59Just grab an Uber back.
03:00My crew's got a party tonight,
03:02and it'd be awkward to bring you.
03:03I didn't reply.
03:04He sent a follow-up.
03:05Also, pick up a morning after,
03:07feel yourself.
03:08I'm busy today.
03:09Don't forget to take it.
03:10Good girl.
03:11I stared at those two texts for a very,
03:13very long time without doing.
03:15From dusk until nearly sunrise,
03:17Asher had been relentless,
03:19like he had a plea to do.
03:20By the end,
03:21we were both completely wrecked.
03:23Right before he drifted off,
03:24his arms were out of him.
03:25He murmured the same thing twice.
03:35He'd even given me this little lecture about how Bill was needed to take care of himself.
03:40Said the morning after pill was really important,
03:42and that skipping it could mess up my body.
03:44And I had actually thought,
03:46this is it.
03:47He's the one.
03:48He's being so responsible.
03:49I finally got my purse out of me.
03:52Now,
03:52the clarity hit me like a slap.
03:54I dug my nails into my own palm,
03:56until the pain forced the tears to stop.
03:59I wiped my face,
04:00straightened my glasses,
04:01and walked out of that bathroom like nothing had happened to me.
04:04I was too embarrassed to go to a real pharmacy,
04:06so I ordered the pillow online instead.
04:09With the delivery guy left the package at my door,
04:11I waited another long stretch,
04:13while I couldn't even bring myself to go get it.
04:15I swallowed it from the mouth of my own tears,
04:18and then I just sat down on the floor,
04:20staring at nothing,
04:21completely empty.
04:25Ever since Ash's family moved next door to mine,
04:28I trailed out from my life's shadow,
04:30and that had been ten years of my life.
04:32I had genuinely never stopped to think about
04:35what a world without him would even look like.
04:37I couldn't picture it,
04:38but starting right now,
04:39I was going to have to figure it out alone.
04:42Outside the floor-to-ceiling window,
04:44the neighborhood lights blinked on,
04:46one by one,
04:46and then off again.
04:48At some point,
04:49I really didn't know how long I'd been sitting there.
04:51Mia called me on FaceTime.
04:57Stella,
04:57why didn't you come to the party tonight with Ashler?
04:59That girl Chloe from the AP track is here, by the way.
05:02She has been all over him since we did the show.
05:04It's actually disgusting.
05:06In the dark corner of the VIP booth,
05:08Asher and Chloe were sitting so close together,
05:10their thighs were touching.
05:12Chloe had worn a crop top and a curve-hugging mini skirt,
05:15long tan legs,
05:16tiny waist.
05:17Even the way they were talking
05:18looked more like whispering secrets
05:20than having a conversation.
05:22I could feel the charged energy between them
05:24through the screen,
05:25something in my chest locked up.
05:27He'd only said he wanted to chase her this afternoon,
05:30and apparently,
05:31tonight was all the time he needed.
05:33The game switched to truth or dare,
05:35and Chloe drew a card that said,
05:39Do a push-up challenge with a guy hovering over me.
05:44Predictably,
05:45Asher had been scared before anyone else could open their mouth.
05:48Chloe blushed bright pink and lay back against the couch cushions.
05:52Asher planted his hands on either side of her.
05:54He was controlled the whole time,
05:56deliberately keeping his body from making contact with hers,
05:59until the very last one.
06:01His arms gave out,
06:02and his entire weight came down directly on top of her.
06:05The room erupted.
06:08Everyone screaming so loud,
06:09the walls practically shook.
06:11Asher's and Chloe's faces went even redder.
06:13With the whole crowd going absolutely feral around them,
06:16Asher just tilted his head down and kissed her.
06:19Not a quick peck,
06:20a full, deep,
06:21for the whole room to see kids.
06:23Three full minutes before they finally pulled apart.
06:26For all three of those minutes,
06:27I sat completely frozen,
06:29eyes locked on the screen,
06:31barely remembering to breathe.
06:32I wanted to cry so badly.
06:35Oh my god, Stella,
06:37did you see that?
06:38He literally kissed her in front of everyone.
06:41He is so into her.
06:43Mia shook her head and stepped out of the booth,
06:45turning the camera as she went.
06:47Don't be mad at me.
06:48If I hadn't shown you,
06:49you never would have let yourself move on.
06:51I'm not mad at you.
06:53I'm only mad at myself for wasting so many years.
06:56I had always assumed that the spot beside Asher was mine,
07:00that it would always be mine.
07:01I am so done with him, Stella.
07:03Who does he think he is,
07:04watching you love him for years,
07:05acting all innocent like he had no idea,
07:07just letting you fall deeper and deeper?
07:09You saw what I showed you.
07:11I'm not giving myself the chance.
07:13Mia, I've already decided
07:15I'm going to California with you.
07:16But you have to promise me
07:18you'll keep it quiet for now.
07:20Right after I said it,
07:21I flipped open my laptop right in front of her.
07:23Without a single second of hesitation,
07:25I changed my first choice school
07:27to the one in California,
07:28one minute before the deadline.
07:30Mia basically levitated off the ground.
07:33She'd been begging me for months
07:35to apply to the same school as her.
07:36But back when we started high school,
07:38Asher and I had made this pact.
07:40We'd work hard together
07:41and go to his dream school up in Boston after graduation.
07:45It had his aerospace engineering program,
07:47the one he'd been obsessed with since we were kids.
07:49So even though I didn't particularly love
07:51the idea of brutal winters,
07:53and even though that school was a technical institute
07:55that didn't even have my major,
07:57I'd spent three years treating it like my only option.
08:00Our families had lived next door to each other for so long
08:03that both sets of parents thought
08:05it was basically a done deal
08:06we'd end up at the same school.
08:08Everyone, including me,
08:09assumed Asher and I would just naturally become official
08:12once we got to college.
08:14But right now,
08:14I couldn't think of a single reason
08:16to still go to Boston.
08:17Because honestly,
08:19after today,
08:19if I kept following Asher around
08:21the way I always had,
08:22I would never be able to look myself in the mirror again.
08:25I just needed to go somewhere far away.
08:28It didn't even matter where,
08:29as long as he wasn't there.
08:31He was going east,
08:32so I was going west.
08:33Before bed,
08:34I filled the entire bathtub.
08:36I needed to scrub every inch of myself clean.
08:39But when I took off my clothes,
08:41the bruises on my skin were still so vivid,
08:44it made me flinch.
08:45The memories from last night
08:47rushed back before I could stop them.
08:49The burning heat of his skin
08:51pressed against mine,
08:52the sound of his breath
08:53ragged and warm against my ear.
08:55The ghost of it all
08:56still seemed to linger in the air around me.
08:59I shook my head hard,
09:00physically trying to shake myself free of it.
09:02Then,
09:03I grabbed the roughest loofah I owned
09:05and scrubbed myself raw,
09:07over and over,
09:08until my whole body was flushed pink and singing.
09:11I was trying,
09:13clumsily,
09:14desperately,
09:14to erase what was officially
09:16the worst night of my entire life.
09:19The result was that the pain
09:20kept me awake the whole night anyway.
09:23Asher didn't text.
09:24For the first time in six years,
09:26ever since we both got phones,
09:27we didn't say goodnight to each other.
09:29That was fine.
09:30It was going to happen eventually anyway.
09:32Tonight was as good a time as any
09:34to start letting go.
09:35I didn't fall asleep
09:36until just before sunrise,
09:38drifting in and out of exhaustion.
09:40Early the next morning,
09:41while I was still buried in sleep,
09:43I felt in that foggy space
09:45between dream and awake,
09:47the soft press of lips
09:48against my forehead.
09:50I jolted awake.
09:51The first thing my eyes landed on
09:52was a jaw I knew too well
09:54and the soft dip of a throat
09:56right above me.
09:57The scent hit me next.
09:58Cedarwood.
09:59That cologne he always wore.
10:01And underneath it,
10:02the faintest trace of something new.
10:04Something citrusy
10:05that wasn't his.
10:06Right.
10:07I'd completely forgotten
10:08that Asher still knew
10:09my front door code.
10:10Seeing me awake,
10:11he shifted lower
10:12and tilted his face down
10:14toward my lips.
10:15I shoved him back
10:16with both hands
10:16and scrambled
10:17to the far edge of the bed.
10:18He blinked,
10:19then let out a short laugh
10:20like I'd surprised him.
10:24Since when are you shy?
10:25I didn't answer.
10:26I just yanked the blanket
10:28over my head
10:28and disappeared under it.
10:30Asher started talking.
10:33Stella, seriously.
10:35You didn't say goodnight,
10:36you turned your phone off
10:37and now you're hiding
10:38under a blanket?
10:39Still avoiding me?
10:40Then he just
10:41lifted the blanket
10:42and slid himself right in.
10:46Hey, how many times
10:47have I told you
10:48you can't skip breakfast?
10:50I ran half a mile
10:52to get you those croissants
10:53from your favorite place
10:54and I stood in line forever.
10:56Wanna get up
10:56and eat now?
10:58Or
10:59get eaten?
11:02Reality crashed back in
11:03and I fought like my life
11:05depended on it.
11:06But I'm 5'2 in sneakers
11:07and Asher is literally
11:086'2 of solid muscle.
11:10I honestly could not
11:11figure out what game
11:12he was playing.
11:13He had Chloe now,
11:14so what was he even
11:15doing in my bed?
11:16I tried to push him away
11:18only to be held
11:18even tighter.
11:20Let go of me!
11:21After what felt like
11:23forever of thrashing around,
11:24I was panting
11:25and had accomplished
11:26nothing except
11:27Is it really worth
11:28getting jealous over?
11:29You're doing that thing
11:30you always do.
11:32I get slightly close
11:33to another girl
11:33and you go all silent
11:35and sulky.
11:36I was so furious
11:37I couldn't even
11:38form a sentence.
11:39I dredged up something
11:40from a self-defense unit
11:41in gym class,
11:42snapped my knee up
11:43hard between us
11:44and the second
11:45he doubled over,
11:46I launched myself
11:47out of that bed.
11:48Stella.
11:49Asher's jaw went tight,
11:50his whole face going red.
11:52I grabbed a hoodie
11:53off the floor
11:53and yanked it on
11:54over my pajamas.
11:56I did not want
11:57to be in any room
11:58with him
11:58and especially
12:00not my bedroom.
12:09Hey,
12:11you took that pill
12:12yesterday, right?
12:12Because I really don't
12:13need that kind of drama
12:14and I definitely
12:15don't want to have
12:15that conversation
12:16with your parents.
12:25Come on,
12:26be reasonable.
12:26Eat something
12:27before you pick a fight.
12:31You know
12:32your stomach's sensitive.
12:41What is actually
12:42going on?
12:44Stella,
12:44even a tantrum
12:45needs a reason.
12:46There have to be
12:47some limits here.
12:48I kept my voice
12:49ice cold
12:50and set it flat.
12:51I don't deserve
12:52to have any say.
12:54Asher snapped.
12:55He slammed the cup
12:56down on the coffee table
12:57so hard it cracked.
12:59The plastic split
13:00and the smoothie
13:00spilled out in a wave
13:02soaking into the rug.
13:03What is that
13:04supposed to mean?
13:06Who do you think
13:07you are,
13:08Stella?
13:09Who do you think
13:10you are?
13:12We slept together once,
13:14it was consensual,
13:15and now you think
13:16you own me?
13:18Do you know
13:19how suffocating
13:20that is?
13:21His voice had
13:22a viciousness to it
13:23I had never heard before.
13:24The second he finished
13:25speaking,
13:26my eyes flooded.
13:27No warning,
13:28no buildup,
13:29just instant tears.
13:31Yesterday's humiliation
13:32came crashing back,
13:33hitting me all over again
13:34like a fresh wound.
13:36Asher clearly
13:37hadn't expected me
13:37to cry this hard
13:38this fast.
13:39He looked genuinely
13:40thrown,
13:41scrambling for what to do.
13:42He crouched down
13:43and said he was sorry.
13:45I'm sorry.
13:46I drank too much last night
13:47and I was out of line
13:48just now.
13:49He reached out
13:50to wipe my face,
13:51but I twisted away,
13:52putting distance between us.
13:53His hand froze in midair,
13:55hovering there.
13:55He opened his mouth
13:56to keep trying,
13:57but his phone buzzed.
13:58He glanced at the screen once,
14:00and his entire expression shifted,
14:02and he stood up
14:03and moved toward the door.
14:04I've got something urgent.
14:05Take a minute to calm down.
14:07We're going to college soon.
14:09You can't keep
14:10throwing fits
14:11like a little kid
14:12who's going to put up with that.
14:19He hadn't been gone
14:2030 minutes
14:21when Mia sent me a screenshot.
14:23Chloe's Instagram story
14:24just said,
14:25I'm hungry,
14:26and breakfast appeared like magic.
14:28Pretty sure this is mutual now,
14:29with a little heart.
14:31The photo was of the exact same croissants
14:33that were sitting on my kitchen counter.
14:35I didn't respond.
14:36I just quietly wiped my eyes,
14:38got on my hands and knees,
14:40and started cleaning up the smoothie
14:41Asher had spilled.
14:42I scrubbed for a long time
14:44before I accepted,
14:45with a hollow feeling in my chest,
14:47that the stain had soaked
14:48all the way through the wool rug
14:50and wasn't coming out.
14:51So,
14:51I just threw the whole rug
14:52in the trash.
14:53It didn't matter anyway.
14:55That rug was something
14:56Asher and his parents
14:57had spent an entire afternoon
14:59picking out on a family trip,
15:00and he'd lugged it home
15:01in his carry-on himself.
15:03Then,
15:03I went through everything else.
15:05Every single thing
15:06Asher had ever left at my place.
15:08Every gift he'd given me
15:09over the years.
15:10Every photo of the two of us.
15:12Every small souvenir and keepsake.
15:14It took the rest of the day,
15:15but I packed every last bit of it up
15:17and threw it all out.
15:22I doubted he'd want any of it back anyway.
15:24After he left that day,
15:26the silence stretched.
15:27Days went by,
15:28and he didn't reach out at all.
15:29Things with Chloe were probably going great.
15:31Or maybe he was waiting for me
15:33to be the one who caved first.
15:35In every fight we'd ever had,
15:36I was always the one who broke first.
15:38Every single time.
15:40No exceptions.
15:41But this time I didn't go looking for him,
15:43and I didn't have any reason to.
15:45I blocked him on everything.
15:46Text,
15:47all social media,
15:48changed my front door code,
15:49and deleted every account
15:51he might use to find me.
15:52After that,
15:53I called my parents,
15:54who were both traveling for work.
15:55I told them I wanted to spend the summer
15:57visiting my aunt
15:58on the other side of the country.
16:00My plan was to stay there
16:01until school started,
16:02then head straight to California with Mia
16:04instead of coming home.
16:05Other than Mia,
16:06no one else knew yet
16:07that I'd changed my application.
16:10This plan should work perfectly.
16:11There was basically zero chance
16:13I'd run into Asher
16:14if I pulled this off right.
16:15My mom actually laughed over the phone.
16:19Ooh, so you and Ashler
16:21are taking a vacation together?
16:23I made up a quick excuse
16:24and didn't go into detail.
16:26I just told her I wanted to visit
16:27my aunt and grandma.
16:28I begged my dad to book me
16:30the first available flight,
16:31and I was ready to leave
16:32that same night.
16:33Of course,
16:34because the universe has no chill,
16:36I ran into Asher's mom
16:38right at our front door
16:39on my way out.
16:40She grabbed my arm warmly
16:42and started chattering.
16:43Stella, honey,
16:45where's Asher?
16:45He's not going to pick you up?
16:47Didn't he say he was taking you
16:48on that ski trip?
16:50Go have fun.
16:52I am 100% behind you two.
16:55I was confused.
16:56I had mentioned once
16:58during senior year
16:59that I'd always wanted
17:00to try skiing in Colorado,
17:02just offhand.
17:03But given everything
17:04that had happened between us,
17:06the idea of going on a trip together
17:07seemed completely impossible.
17:09I was running out of time, though,
17:11so I said something vague
17:12and non-committal
17:13and slipped away.
17:14What I never expected
17:15was that at the airport,
17:17I would come face to face
17:18with Asher.
17:21He was with a group of friends.
17:23Chloe was there, too.
17:24Asher had her designer bag
17:26in one hand
17:26and his other arm
17:27slung around her shoulder.
17:29They were trailing
17:29at the back of the group.
17:30Every so often,
17:32Chloe would lean her head
17:33toward him to say something.
17:34And every single time,
17:36without any hesitation,
17:37he would bend down to listen.
17:39He never did that with me.
17:40Asher had always been taller than me,
17:42and the gap had only gotten bigger
17:44over the years.
17:45When it was the two of us,
17:46I was always the one
17:47bouncing on my toes,
17:49craning my neck up
17:50just to catch his eyes.
17:51Turns out,
17:52for the right person,
17:53he would be the one who bends.
17:55I breathed in slowly.
17:57I told myself
17:58I needed to have
17:59some dignity about this.
18:00Whatever he did
18:01was none of my business.
18:02If I let myself overthink it,
18:04I deserve to be slapped.
18:05But there seemed to be
18:06only one path to the gate.
18:08All I could do
18:09was stay far enough behind
18:10that he wouldn't notice me.
18:12By some miracle,
18:13we eventually reached
18:14a fork in the terminal
18:15where the path split.
18:16Asher seemed to get
18:17distracted around that.
18:18He made a bunch of calls,
18:20none of which seemed
18:20to go through,
18:21and then spent a long time
18:23staring at his phone.
18:24Eventually,
18:25he borrowed someone else's phone,
18:26his face dark and unreadable,
18:28and disappeared
18:29into a nearby bathroom.
18:30A moment later,
18:31my phone rang.
18:32Unknown number.
18:35So you've got a real attitude
18:36on you this time.
18:37You're just not gonna
18:38come to me first?
18:40You actually blocked me?
18:43Fine.
18:43Keep it up.
18:44See how great you do
18:45when we're both in Boston
18:46and you don't know anyone
18:47and there's no one
18:48to look out for you.
18:49Asher came out swinging,
18:50rattling off complaints
18:51in one long,
18:52irritated breath.
18:53I had absolutely nothing
18:55to say to any of that,
18:56but Asher seemed
18:57to get angrier
18:58at my silence.
18:59I'm done talking about this.
19:01Just unblock me.
19:03I'm heading out of the country
19:04for a couple days
19:04with some friends.
19:06Probably won't have
19:06great reception.
19:10Don't get all weepy about it.
19:11I couldn't even be bothered
19:13to say a single word back.
19:14I hung up
19:15and turned my phone off.
19:16From across the terminal,
19:17I watched Asher
19:19stalk back to his group,
19:20his expression stormy.
19:21He grabbed Chloe's hand,
19:23didn't hesitate for a second
19:24and walked toward
19:25the left gate.
19:26I let out a long breath,
19:28turned around
19:29and headed right.
19:31With my family,
19:33I performed happiness
19:34and honestly,
19:35I got pretty good at it.
19:36I deliberately kept myself
19:38slammed with plans,
19:39filling every gap in the day
19:40so I had no room to spiral.
19:42I definitely didn't add Asher back
19:44the way he demanded,
19:45but Mia and some others
19:47kept me updated
19:48on his life anyway.
19:49Asher and his friends
19:50had apparently been
19:51swimming in Colorado for days.
19:53For some reason,
19:54he was suddenly posting
19:55on social media
19:55every single day,
19:57which was completely
19:58unlike the version of him
19:59who used to go months
20:00without posting anything.
20:02Sometimes,
20:03it was slow motion clips
20:04of him carving down the slopes.
20:05Sometimes,
20:06it was food
20:06and late night parties,
20:07but mostly,
20:08it was big group shots
20:09of everyone clowning around
20:11in the snow,
20:12even though I genuinely
20:13didn't want to see it.
20:14Somehow,
20:15people kept sending it
20:16to me unprompted.
20:17Everyone was very casually
20:18curious about why
20:19I hadn't gone with Asher.
20:21I didn't know what to say,
20:22so I just told people
20:23I had family stuff going on.
20:25Mia was the only one
20:26who openly called him
20:27a trash human.
20:28Everyone else around me
20:29seemed to be constantly
20:30stopping themselves
20:31from saying something.
20:32I knew,
20:33they'd probably figured out
20:34something was wrong.
20:37In every single group photo
20:38Asher posted,
20:39he and Chloe
20:40were glued together,
20:41inseparable.
20:42But that spot beside him
20:43had been mine for years,
20:45just mine.
20:45Every time I saw
20:46one of those photos,
20:48my face stayed
20:48completely neutral,
20:49but something deep
20:50in my chest would clench.
20:52He was the first person
20:53I ever fell for,
20:54someone I had genuinely,
20:55completely,
20:56embarrassingly loved
20:57for such a long time.
20:59In the middle of the night,
21:00alone,
21:00I would fall apart a little,
21:02and sometimes I felt
21:03this stubborn,
21:04stupid feeling
21:05that I wasn't ready
21:05to let go.
21:06But every time
21:07that feeling started rising,
21:09I'd replay his words
21:10and give myself
21:11a mental slap.
21:12I'd repeat it to myself
21:13over and over,
21:14Stella,
21:15don't be pathetic.
21:16That's the fastest way
21:17to make yourself
21:18even less worth respecting.
21:19Just hold on
21:20a little longer.
21:21Once the detox period
21:22was over,
21:23everything would be fine.
21:24We went a full month
21:25without any contact,
21:26the longest we'd ever gone
21:28since the day we met.
21:29Distance and time
21:30turned out to be
21:31the best medicine.
21:32I ground through
21:32the worst of it
21:33and came out
21:34the other side.
21:35Just when I'd reached
21:35the point where I didn't
21:36think about him
21:37every hour of every day,
21:39he switched to a new number
21:40and called me
21:41from across the country.
21:45So you're just that bold,
21:47running off without me
21:48and staying this long?
21:50Summer's almost over,
21:52Stella.
21:53Did you forget you promised
21:55to go on a trip with me?
21:56Maybe it was because
21:57we'd gone so long
21:58without talking,
21:59but underneath
21:59all the complaints,
22:01his voice had this edge
22:02to it,
22:03almost careful.
22:04I still didn't want
22:04to talk to him.
22:05I was about to hang up
22:06when his mom
22:07snatched the phone.
22:08Stella, sweetheart,
22:09are you having fun
22:11out there?
22:12This boy won't tell me
22:13anything.
22:14I only just found out
22:15you two had a fight.
22:17Don't be too hard
22:18on him, honey.
22:19When you come back,
22:20I'll make him apologize
22:21to your face.
22:23Oh, and Ashler
22:24just got his acceptance
22:25letter today.
22:26Yours should come soon,
22:27too.
22:28Have you thought about
22:29when you'll come home
22:30for your going away party?
22:32I've got a little
22:32surprise planned.
22:34Asher's mom had been
22:35like a second family
22:36to me since I was little.
22:37I couldn't bring myself
22:38to hang up on her,
22:39so I stayed on
22:40and let her talk.
22:41I'm not really planning
22:42to have a party.
22:43My parents are always
22:44traveling,
22:45and honestly,
22:46we can just do a video
22:47call thing with family.
22:48I probably won't be back
22:49before school starts anyway.
22:51I'll just come home
22:52right before move in.
22:53I didn't even finish
22:54the sentence before
22:55Asher took the phone back.
22:56His breathing was heavy.
22:58I could feel the anger
22:59coming through
22:59from 3,000 miles away.
23:03Stella, I'm literally
23:05the one reaching out
23:05first here.
23:06How much longer
23:07are you going to keep
23:08this up?
23:09If you don't come back,
23:10don't expect me
23:10to wait for you.
23:12I'll head to Boston
23:13without you.
23:14He delivered the threat
23:15in this cold,
23:16flat voice,
23:17waited and waited
23:18without getting
23:19the answer he wanted.
23:21My acceptance letter
23:22had already arrived
23:23at home.
23:23When they saw
23:24the school name
23:25on the letter,
23:25my parents finally
23:26found out
23:27I'd changed my application.
23:29My mom video called me.
23:30Hi, baby.
23:31Why didn't you talk
23:32to us before
23:33changing your application?
23:35Does Asher know?
23:36His mom called this morning
23:38asking if your letter
23:39had come yet.
23:40I had no words.
23:45Baby,
23:46how are we supposed
23:46to feel okay
23:46about you going
23:47all the way
23:47to California alone?
23:48Aren't you the kid
23:49who's terrified of bugs
23:51and can't handle heat?
23:53You really think
23:54you can manage?
23:55Don't call me
23:55to come deal
23:56with it for you.
23:56That school has a lot
23:58to offer
23:59and Mia will be
24:00going there too.
24:01You don't have to worry.
24:02Is this about a fight
24:03with Asher?
24:05Because that's not
24:06a reason to switch
24:07schools across the country.
24:10What if you change
24:11your mind in a week
24:12and want him back?
24:13Then what?
24:14It's hard your caption.
24:16I just decided
24:17to say it straight.
24:19Asher has a girlfriend.
24:21Mom,
24:22Dad,
24:23I have my own life
24:25and I don't want to just orbit
24:26around his forever.
24:28So please support my choice
24:30and please keep it
24:31between us for now.
24:33My parents looked
24:34at each other
24:35for a long time
24:36without speaking.
24:37The only thing they asked
24:38was that I come home sooner
24:40rather than later.
24:41School was starting soon
24:42and they wanted time with me.
24:44My mom mentioned
24:45that Asher had gone off
24:46on another trip with friends
24:47the very next day
24:48after getting his acceptance letter.
24:50He'd been gone
24:51for days.
24:51His mom was apparently
24:53calling my mom regularly
24:54asking when I was flying back.
24:56On the day I landed
24:57my parents showed up
24:58at the airport
24:59dressed like they were
25:00going somewhere formal.
25:01I woke up from my nap
25:02on the drive.
25:03I realized
25:04they'd pulled up
25:05to a five-star hotel.
25:07I was still half asleep
25:08when my mom grabbed my arm
25:10and steered me
25:10through the lobby.
25:11And right there
25:12standing in the middle of it
25:14was Asher
25:14who I hadn't seen
25:16in months.
25:17My feet
25:17stopped moving
25:18on their own.
25:19Asher was in a perfectly
25:21fitted black suit
25:22leaning casually
25:23beside the lobby fountain
25:24like something
25:25out of a magazine spread.
25:26Just one summer
25:27was all it took.
25:28The boyish edge
25:29had faded
25:30and he looked
25:30exactly like
25:31the version of him
25:32I used to imagine
25:33when I tried to picture
25:34him grown up.
25:35Something complicated
25:36twisted in my chest.
25:37I'd avoided this moment
25:38for months
25:39and now here it was
25:40sprung on me
25:41with no warning.
25:42Stella
25:43it's Ashler's
25:44going away party
25:45we figured we'd
25:46pick you up
25:46and bring you
25:47straight here.
25:48You said you didn't
25:49want a party
25:50of your own
25:50right?
25:51Ashley asked his parents
25:53to set the date
25:53for the day
25:54you got back
25:55so you can kind of
25:56both celebrate together.
25:57Asher seemed
25:58to sense something
25:58because right then
25:59he casually glanced over
26:01and his gaze
26:02landed directly on mine.
26:04My heart
26:04lurched sideways
26:05still felt like
26:06the floor dropped out
26:07but Asher moved first.
26:09He took one step
26:10toward us
26:10and then Chloe
26:11appeared out of nowhere
26:12and slipped her arm
26:13through his.
26:14She pulled him
26:15along with her
26:16smiling wide
26:17and walked right
26:18over to us.
26:19Oh my gosh
26:20Stella
26:21you're back!
26:22I've been wanting
26:23to properly meet you
26:24forever.
26:25I always saw you
26:27around with Asher.
26:29I'm from the AP track
26:30so we never
26:31officially met
26:32and
26:33I'm genuinely
26:34sad about that.
26:36Yeah.
26:37Asher looked
26:38vaguely uncomfortable.
26:39Why would you
26:39want to get to know her?
26:41She's just a drama queen
26:43who throws fits.
26:44I honestly thought
26:46she'd stayed in her
26:47aunt's state forever.
26:48The world will keep
26:49on turning
26:49and your name
26:50will be forgotten.
26:51I had nothing
26:52to say to that.
26:53There was genuinely
26:53no response.
26:55Chloe's silver
26:55bodycon dress
26:56was covered in
26:57tiny crystals
26:58that caught
26:58every bit of light
26:59in the room.
27:00I glanced down
27:01at myself.
27:01White tea,
27:02jeans,
27:03sneakers,
27:03hair that still
27:04had a slight
27:05slept on way
27:05from the plane.
27:06I looked like
27:07I'd made a wrong
27:08turn on the way
27:08to a convenience store.
27:09I brought a dress
27:10for you baby.
27:11You can go change
27:12in the powder room.
27:13I nodded
27:13then shook my head.
27:14There was no point.
27:16This wasn't my party.
27:17Asher kept staring
27:18at me with this
27:18unreadable expression.
27:20Chloe's eyes
27:21kept flicking
27:21back and forth
27:22between the two of us.
27:23Luckily,
27:24a few more guests
27:24arrived just then
27:25and Chloe
27:26immediately pulled
27:27Asher over
27:28to greet them.
27:29Like she was already
27:29the hostess.
27:30Mom,
27:31let's go in.
27:31I'm a little hungry.
27:35It was a small gathering.
27:36Asher had only
27:37invited close family
27:38and a handful of friends.
27:39Every single person
27:40I knew
27:41looked visibly shocked
27:42when they saw me
27:43walk in.
27:44I just smiled
27:44and said hello
27:45and acted like
27:46I didn't notice.
27:47But nobody was subtle
27:48about their curiosity.
27:50The people watching
27:50energy was off
27:51the charts.
27:54I slipped out
27:55to the terrace
27:55for some air
27:56and could immediately
27:57hear a small group
27:58in the hallway
27:59cornering Asher
28:00for the gossip.
28:03Wait,
28:03didn't Stella
28:04fall out with you
28:05over the Chloe thing?
28:06Why is she here?
28:06Did she come crawling back?
28:08She's just quick tempered
28:10and in a mood.
28:10She always comes around
28:11after a couple of days.
28:12We've known each other
28:13our whole lives.
28:13She's not actually
28:14going to cut me off.
28:15I mean,
28:16Stella's genuinely great.
28:17She's been ride or died
28:17for you for years.
28:18All of us are low-key jealous
28:19of how she treats you.
28:20But like,
28:21one is your childhood
28:22best friend
28:22and honestly,
28:24Stella's amazing
28:25but it also feels
28:26kind of limiting.
28:28I'm young.
28:28I don't want to only
28:29ever have one person
28:30but that's too predictable.
28:31I need to see
28:32what else is out there.
28:33But that doesn't mean
28:34anything has to end
28:35as long as I know
28:36there's always a light
28:37on at home for me.
28:39You're such a player.
28:40I'd heard enough.
28:41I backed away
28:42as quietly as I could.
28:43The evening breeze
28:44hit my face
28:45and I felt my eyes
28:46go hot.
28:47I just hated myself
28:48for spending so many years
28:50being blind
28:51to who he actually was.
28:53I was in absolutely
28:54the worst mood
28:56of the entire summer
28:57but Asher's mom
28:58was thrilled to see me
29:00and spent most of dinner
29:01doting on me
29:02refusing to let go
29:03of my hand.
29:04Stella,
29:04Boston can get really dry
29:06in winter.
29:07Let Asher take you
29:07shopping tomorrow
29:08and stock up
29:09on some good moisturizers.
29:10Oh,
29:11it's fine.
29:12There are plenty of shops
29:12out there
29:13and online shopping
29:14is so easy.
29:14She nodded warmly
29:15and turned to my mom.
29:17I already picked out
29:18all the bedding
29:19for the dorms.
29:20Got a set for Asher
29:21and one for Stella
29:22at the same time
29:22all four seasons covered.
29:24Boston winters are brutal.
29:25I went with really thick
29:27comforters
29:27and got a few winter floats
29:29for Stella too.
29:30Don't you worry
29:30about a thing.
29:31My mom made a face
29:32like she'd swallowed something.
29:34All of that would be
29:35completely useless
29:36in California
29:36but she didn't want
29:37to embarrass anyone
29:38so she thanked her graciously.
29:40Chloe,
29:41sitting nearby,
29:42looked like she was
29:43biting through her own cheek.
29:44Asher's mom
29:45didn't seem to notice.
29:46She kept right on talking,
29:47addressing both of us.
29:49Once you're both in Boston,
29:51you'll be each other's family.
29:53Asher,
29:53you better take good care
29:55of Stella
29:55and stop making her upset.
29:57You hear me?
29:57Asher threw a glance
29:58my way with zero expression.
30:01She doesn't need anyone
30:02to look after her.
30:03She's perfectly capable
30:04of flying on her own.
30:05The table got a little stiff
30:06and that's when
30:07Chloe smoothly cut in.
30:09Oh,
30:09don't worry.
30:10My school is in Boston too.
30:11I'll be there
30:11to look after Asher
30:12and Stella
30:13be all the way
30:14in California anyway
30:15so it's not really practical.
30:18Before she even
30:19finished the sentence,
30:20Asher and his parents'
30:21faces changed.
30:22California?
30:24Every single one of them
30:25looked at me
30:26and asked it
30:27at the same time.
30:29Asher,
30:30you didn't know?
30:31It's been on the school's
30:32honor board.
30:33Oh wait,
30:34you haven't been back
30:34to campus.
30:35Every pair of eyes
30:36at the table
30:37swiveled to me.
30:38Under the weight
30:38of all that attention,
30:40I quietly nodded.
30:41My mom stepped in
30:42to explain.
30:43Stella made a last minute
30:45decision to change
30:46her application.
30:47She's going to a great
30:48school in California
30:50and it's actually
30:52the perfect program
30:53for her.
30:53Asher didn't believe it.
30:54He grabbed my hand
30:55and made me look at him.
30:58Stella,
30:58I literally watched
31:00you fill out
31:00that application.
31:01We were going
31:02to the same school.
31:03His grip was tight
31:04enough to actually hurt
31:05and it pushed me
31:06over the edge.
31:08Yeah,
31:08I changed it.
31:09What does it have
31:10to do with you?
31:11Asher looked stunned
31:12for a second,
31:12then started laughing
31:14like I'd said
31:14something ridiculous.
31:16You're joking.
31:17You're literally
31:17the girl who jumps
31:18onto my back
31:19at the sight of a bug
31:20and you're moving
31:21to California?
31:23And you're moving
31:24to California?
31:25I pulled out my phone,
31:26found the crystal clear
31:27photo of my acceptance letter
31:29and held it up
31:30in his face.
31:30Asher took the phone,
31:32zoomed in,
31:33zoomed out,
31:34read it over and over
31:35and finally let out
31:36a laugh that had
31:37no humor in it at all.
31:39In the middle
31:39of everyone's gasps,
31:41he grabbed my wrist
31:42and pulled me
31:42out of the dining room.
31:45He pulled me
31:46into a side room
31:47and locked the door
31:48behind us.
31:49Asher planted himself
31:50against it,
31:50cutting off any escape
31:51and came at me hard.
31:53Stella,
31:54I cannot believe you.
31:55You're so mad
31:56that you just forget
31:56our whole plan,
31:57go behind my back
31:58and commitment
31:59to a school
32:00across the country.
32:01I lifted my head.
32:01I took a breath
32:02and made myself
32:03look him straight
32:04in the eye.
32:04I have my own plans.
32:07Since when do I have
32:08to build my entire future
32:09around what you want?
32:11Asher,
32:11be honest with yourself.
32:13Are you actually upset
32:14about the plan?
32:15Or are you upset
32:16because I'm not available
32:18to be your fallback girl
32:19anymore?
32:19The color drained
32:20from his face.
32:21What is that supposed
32:22to mean?
32:22Could you not phrase
32:23things like that?
32:25We're adults.
32:26That night was
32:27completely mutual.
32:28Are you seriously
32:28still bringing that up?
32:29I was embarrassed,
32:30but I held his gaze anyway.
32:32Asher,
32:32if you like someone else,
32:33you could have just said so.
32:35I'm not so shameless
32:36that I would have kept
32:36throwing myself at you.
32:38But you knew
32:38you didn't like me back
32:39and you just watched me
32:40walk straight into the flame.
32:41That was fun for you,
32:42wasn't it?
32:43Even now,
32:43he still didn't get it.
32:45People don't say goodbye
32:45until they've completely
32:47run out of hope.
32:48He flushed.
32:49Something in what I said hit.
32:50His face went from
32:51white to red
32:52and he visibly swayed.
32:53What do you even
32:55listen to what you're saying?
32:56You...
32:56He couldn't finish
32:57the sentence.
33:00Stella,
33:01we've known each other
33:01since we were eight years old
33:02and we're 18 now.
33:04If you're choosing
33:05to walk away
33:05from what we have,
33:07then we don't have
33:07to be friends either.
33:08And with just that,
33:10he turned and walked
33:10out of the hotel.
33:19From that day
33:20until the day
33:21I left for school,
33:22I never saw Asher again.
33:23Mia sent me a screenshot
33:24of his official
33:25couple's post with Chloe.
33:27I deleted it
33:28without even opening it.
33:29Every mutual friend
33:30connected to him,
33:31I blocked.
33:32There was genuinely
33:32no point in following
33:34any of it anymore.
33:37The only exception
33:39was the day
33:39I flew out to California.
33:41Of course,
33:42because the universe
33:42has a terrible sense of humor,
33:44I walked straight
33:45into Asher at the airport again,
33:47with Chloe still glued
33:48to his side.
33:49When we passed each other,
33:50he said a stiff hello
33:51to my parents
33:52and kept walking,
33:53clearly still angry.
33:54He didn't look at me once.
33:55We scattered
33:56in different directions
33:57and neither of us
33:58looked back.
33:59Right before I got
34:00to the security line,
34:01I glanced over
34:02and caught Asher
34:03at his gate,
34:04about to board.
34:05He gave me one
34:05cold, flat look
34:07and then disappeared
34:08through the door
34:08without turning around.
34:09The person who had
34:10been part of every chapter
34:12of my growing up,
34:13we were finally
34:14completely done.
34:15Different destinations
34:16at last
34:17and I hope yours goes well.
34:19I said it only to myself.
34:21After that,
34:21a long, long time passed
34:23without either of us
34:24hearing a single thing
34:25about the other.
34:26I specifically asked
34:27my parents
34:28not to bring up
34:29anything related to Asher
34:30or his family
34:31in front of me.
34:32Over New Year's break,
34:33a girl from our high school
34:34came to visit.
34:35He's nothing like that
34:36cold, focused,
34:38straight-A guy
34:38he was in high school.
34:40He's completely different.
34:43Honestly,
34:44if you ran into him now,
34:46you might not even
34:47recognize him.
34:48I didn't say anything.
34:50Mia kicked her
34:50under the table
34:51and smoothly changed
34:52the subject
34:53and the girl dropped it.
34:54We did the New Year's
34:55countdown by the water
34:56and Mia told me
34:57to make a wish.
34:59Hope New Year,
35:00Syria Parent Healthy,
35:01conceding under the world.
35:02I realized it was
35:03the first wish
35:04I'd ever made
35:05that had absolutely
35:06nothing to do with him.
35:07For a full six years
35:08of my life,
35:09every single wish
35:10I made had involved
35:11Asher in some way.
35:14Mia, happy New Year!
35:16I felt genuinely happy.
35:18I knew I had finally,
35:19actually, completely let go.
35:22The first winter break
35:23of college,
35:24I missed my parents
35:25so badly
35:26I couldn't stand it.
35:27The second my last exam
35:28was done,
35:29I was on the first flight home.
35:31What I didn't expect
35:32was that Asher
35:33had come to the airport
35:34with my parents
35:35to pick me up.
35:36After half a year apart,
35:38we had both changed.
35:39He was thinner,
35:40had dyed his hair,
35:41but was still,
35:42honestly,
35:43annoyingly good looking.
35:44I've always had
35:45terrible judgment
35:45about people,
35:46but my taste
35:47has never been the problem.
35:48Why else would I have
35:49been trailing after him
35:50since we were five?
35:51Hey there,
35:52big bro Asher.
35:53He stared at me
35:54like I'd spoken
35:54a different language.
35:56We ran into him outside.
35:58He insisted on
35:59coming along to help.
36:00I smiled
36:01and waved her off.
36:02It was fine.
36:04In the car,
36:06I immediately launched
36:07into all the funny things
36:08that had happened at school,
36:09and my parents
36:10were the whole ride.
36:11No one was paying
36:12any attention to Asher.
36:15You've worked hard.
36:16Please send our regards
36:17to your parents.
36:18He seemed like he wanted
36:19to come inside
36:19when we got home,
36:20but all three of us
36:21politely turned him
36:22down together.
36:23My grandma and my aunt
36:24had both come back
36:25to celebrate the holidays
36:26that year.
36:27New Year's Eve was loud
36:28and packed with family.
36:30After the big dinner,
36:31the older relatives
36:31parked themselves
36:32in front of the TV
36:33while the rest of us
36:34were teaching each other
36:35card games.
36:36That's when Asher showed up
36:37at the door with his parents,
36:38arms full of bags.
36:40Our house is too quiet tonight.
36:42Hope you don't mind us
36:43crashing your game.
36:51Asher's mom laughed
36:52as she walked in.
36:53Every year growing up,
36:55the two families
36:55had spent the holiday together.
36:57This year,
36:58because of everything
36:59that had happened,
37:00my mom had turned down
37:01the invitation
37:01to share the big dinner.
37:03But you can't exactly
37:04turn people away
37:05once they're at your door.
37:06Asher settled himself naturally.
37:08My cousins had no idea
37:09about any of the drama
37:11and kept teasing us
37:12like they always had.
37:13I laughed it off.
37:15It's not what you think.
37:17Asher's expression
37:17went a little flat.
37:19When midnight came
37:20and we all went outside
37:21for sparklers,
37:23he caught my arm
37:24and looked like he was
37:25working up to say something.
37:27My phone rang.
37:28My face went a little warm.
37:29It was a guy from
37:30one of my clubs at school.
37:33Hi, Stella.
37:34I'm just a bit bored
37:36and wanted to say
37:36Happy New Year to you.
37:37A local California boy
37:39named Jake.
37:39He was good looking too.
37:41Not in that cold,
37:42aloof way.
37:43More like the guy
37:44who's always laughing
37:45at everything
37:46and making you laugh
37:47right along with him.
37:48He never ran out
37:49of things to say
37:49and he had a way
37:50of making me
37:51completely lose it
37:52at the most random things.
37:54We talked for a while longer
37:55and when he finally hung up,
37:57Asher was standing
37:57right behind me
37:58with a face
37:59like a thundercloud.
38:02Boyfriend?
38:04Not yet, I guess.
38:08Not yet, I guess.
38:10I thought about it
38:11and answered honestly.
38:12I assumed he was done
38:13but then he spoke again.
38:15Long distance guys
38:16aren't always reliable.
38:18You should find someone local,
38:19someone you actually know.
38:23I nodded.
38:24Something in that
38:25seemed to land
38:26somewhere tender.
38:27You're right.
38:27You really can't tell
38:28with people.
38:29I'll keep my guard up.
38:31Asher went quiet
38:31for a very long time.
38:33I assumed he was done.
38:35I didn't think too hard about it.
38:37Thanks for the advice, big bro.
38:39You should figure out
38:40your own situation too.
38:41He'd always been
38:42unpredictable like that.
38:43After that,
38:44I spent the rest of break
38:45bouncing around
38:46visiting relatives
38:47with my grandma and parents
38:48and then we did
38:49a little road trip.
38:50I was barely home.
38:51I didn't run into Asher once.
38:53The break was short
38:54and soon enough
38:55I was back at school
38:56but the very next day
38:57after I arrived,
38:58Asher was standing
38:59outside my campus gate.
39:02Asher,
39:03what are you doing here?
39:04I wanted to see
39:05what your school looks like
39:07and check if you're
39:09actually doing okay
39:09out here.
39:11Really well, actually.
39:12The food here is amazing.
39:14You should look up
39:14some spots and try them.
39:16Stella,
39:17can't you come eat
39:18with me just once?
39:22Sorry about that, man.
39:23I've already got Stella
39:24booked.
39:25You'll have to get in line.
39:26Stella,
39:27you came back to school
39:29this early for him?
39:33Sorry, Asher.
39:34We're heading out to eat.
39:35I'll see you.
39:36Let's go.
39:37Didn't you say
39:38the place was far?
39:39Stop standing there.
39:40Asher was still standing
39:41at the campus gate
39:42watching us
39:43and under the shadow
39:44of the trees,
39:45he looked incredibly alone.
39:47He suddenly started
39:48showing up in my world
39:49constantly.
39:50I never found out
39:51what excuse he gave
39:52his school
39:52but he kept appearing
39:54in California
39:54out of nowhere.
39:55He started showing up
39:56with gifts,
39:57flowers,
39:58bags,
39:58jewelry
39:59and I turned
39:59every single one down.
40:01When there was
40:01nothing else to do,
40:03he'd just sit outside
40:03my dorm building
40:04and refuse to leave
40:06no matter how many
40:07times I asked.
40:08Whenever he managed
40:09to catch me,
40:09he'd fall into step
40:10beside me
40:11to every single class
40:12then follow me
40:13to the dining hall.
40:14Jake was visibly
40:15miserable about
40:16the whole thing.
40:17Asher's mom
40:17had been calling
40:18and messaging me
40:19from multiple angles.
40:20She begged me
40:21to please talk
40:21some sense into him.
40:23I was beyond done.
40:24I genuinely could not
40:25figure out
40:26what Asher thought
40:26he was doing.
40:29Stella,
40:30why does Jake
40:31get to pursue you
40:31but I don't?
40:33Son of white
40:33to stas.
40:35He's known you
40:36for what,
40:37a few months?
40:38How many years
40:38have I known you?
40:41No one in this world
40:42understands you
40:42the way I do,
40:43not even your parents.
40:45And no one is better
40:46for you than me.
40:52Ashler,
40:53do you genuinely
40:54not remember
40:55what you did?
40:56Ask yourself honestly,
40:59did you ever
41:00actually treat
41:00my feelings
41:01like they mattered?
41:04You just liked
41:05the ego boost
41:05of having me
41:06chase after you.
41:07You knew no matter
41:08what you did,
41:09I wouldn't leave,
41:10so you just did
41:11whatever you felt like
41:12with my heart.
41:14Yeah,
41:14I did some things
41:15wrong back then.
41:16I was young,
41:17I thought the whole world
41:18was waiting for me
41:19and I didn't want
41:20to feel like I was
41:21tied to any one person.
41:22I owe you
41:23a real apology,
41:24Stella.
41:25I'm sorry,
41:27but even if you
41:28treat me like a stranger,
41:29can I at least
41:29have the chance
41:30to start over
41:31and earn it back?
41:32After you left,
41:32I realized I don't know
41:34how to live
41:34without you in it.
41:36I can't imagine
41:37going forward
41:37and not having anyone
41:38to share everything with.
41:40Honestly,
41:41since leaving you,
41:42I figured out
41:42that real,
41:43mutual feelings
41:44don't require you
41:45to shrink yourself
41:46down to nothing.
41:47I can just be myself.
41:48My mood doesn't have
41:49to orbit around
41:50someone else's
41:51and when I realized that,
41:53I started to wonder
41:54if what I felt back then
41:55was ever real love
41:56or just something
41:57a younger,
41:58more naive version
41:59of me invented.
42:02But,
42:05we made promises.
42:09We said we'd go
42:10to college together,
42:11study abroad together,
42:12travel the whole world together.
42:13Are you going to walk away
42:14from all of that too?
42:16Stella,
42:16are you going to leave
42:17all this behind too?
42:19You broke the promises first
42:21and I've already found someone
42:23I want to do
42:24all of those things with.
42:27Stop, Stella.
42:28Please,
42:29just stop.
42:34Maybe you're not
42:35actually in love with me.
42:37Maybe you just
42:38can't stand the idea
42:39of losing.
42:40Asher,
42:40honestly,
42:41it's time for you
42:43to move on too.
42:46I didn't wait
42:47for a response.
42:48Jake had been waiting
42:49across the street
42:49for a while.
42:50I jogged over
42:51and he immediately
42:52reached down
42:53and took my hand.
42:56finally shook the X.
42:59Did you tell him
43:00I've got full
43:00bug patrol rights now?
43:01He doesn't get
43:02a single one.
43:04Everyone is going
43:05through their own goodbyes.
43:07As for us,
43:09it's finally
43:10completely over.
43:12Fading away
43:12like the rain.
43:13Everyone in the middle
43:14of their own goodbye.
43:16And just like that,
43:17the two of us
43:17were finally
43:18completely over.
43:20Scattered like rain.
43:21Scattered like rain.
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