Half Man (2026) Episode 2 | English Sub - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:28Transcription by CastingWords

00:44Transcription by CastingWords

01:10Transcription by CastingWords

01:15Shut up

01:18What does your father's skin do?

01:20You wear it in your sock?

01:22Yeah, I know

01:24Can it go via the left ventricle?

01:27You're making a lot of death jokes

01:28for a man getting hitched in a few hours

01:30No, I'm fine

01:33I want to do this, it's just

01:35I don't know

01:38I want it to work out

01:42I mean

01:44Your marriage worked out in the end, did it not?

01:48You got ill so quickly

01:50I could never really tell

01:52You always made a lot of effort too

01:53which put me off

01:55Your dad was a lot more fun when he was

01:57spurning our dates and never calling me back

02:01That's why I got on so well with Maura

02:03We never signed a contract

02:05Same we expected more from one another

02:09Are you missing her?

02:12I miss them both

02:22What about Reuben?

02:24Any feelings there?

02:29Yeah, I suppose

02:33Maybe a

02:36small part of me

02:39misses them

02:42Well, that's something

02:45And what do you mean, that's something?

02:47No, I just

02:50Look

02:52I don't know how to tell you this

02:55But he's on his way

03:00You're joking?

03:01No

03:02He found out this morning, I don't know how

03:06But he'll be here any minute

03:26Hi

03:27I see you

11:45I had better go after her.

11:50Blow back?

12:06See you later, courage man.

12:24Don't think you'd make it.

12:25Well, what can I say? I heard the city calling my name.

12:31That'll be the heroine.

12:37Well, may I?

12:52So what brings you to Glasgow?

12:54Oh, loads of things.

12:56The city, the music, the nightlife, the women.

13:04What is it you study again?

13:06English literature.

13:07Oh, cool.

13:09I was going to guess theatre studies, so not too far off.

13:13Theatre studies? Hell no.

13:16That's miles off. What makes you say that?

13:19I don't know.

13:21You, er...

13:21You strike me as a performer in some way.

13:26Well, like an actor?

13:27No, a performer.

13:29Like, er...

13:30Like you're performing somehow.

13:32No.

13:37Hey, it's nothing to worry about.

13:40You know, after all...

13:43I'm a performer, too.

13:44monetary...

13:46Heaven, Çok Light,

13:58Lion, miracle screaming...

14:06Can you see I'm burning, burning?

14:11Oh, doctor, doctor

14:14It's a piece

14:20Something I said

14:23It's such delight

14:26Less

14:27Just don't get it, yeah

14:29Yeah

14:41Okay, let's go, buddy

15:18Let's go, buddy

15:40Let's go, buddy

16:05Let's go, buddy

16:23Let's go, buddy

16:43Let's go, buddy

16:45Let's go, buddy

16:58Let's go, buddy

17:02Let's go, buddy

17:08You only need to ask

17:11Oh, no, I couldn't

17:13Just say the words

17:21I need you

17:23I need you

17:54Check the keys, Shagga

17:56I'll be up in a bit

17:57I'm gonna have a fag and see if I can split afresher

18:03I'm gonna have a fag

18:28I'll be up in a bit

18:34I had to run them through twice.

18:40You scared the shit out of me.

18:42Yeah, well, I'm not cleaning it up this time.

18:47Look, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't.

18:52You were to discreet us last night.

18:59What do you mean?

19:01Leaving early with no explanation.

19:04Oh, right.

19:06Why are you in your underpants?

19:10No reason.

19:11Just, you know, catching the air on the thighs.

19:18I'll put them back on.

19:20Well, this has been a fascinating insight into human behaviour,

19:24but I've got some reading to do.

19:35Mmm, there he is.

19:38Houdini.

19:39I'm sorry.

19:40You, last night.

19:42And your vanishing act.

19:43Very disappointing.

19:45Oh, my God.

19:47You should see how fat this guy is outside.

19:52Oh, he looks like trouble.

19:55Oh, my God.

19:56He just came into the halls.

19:58Eh?

19:58Maybe he'll move in upstairs

19:59and you can have a really dysfunctional romance.

20:01I'd love that, you know.

20:09There he is.

20:10Bring it in, son.

20:16You big student bastard.

20:19Hey, hey.

20:20You tax dodging fork.

20:22Oh, God.

20:23Oh, God.

20:24Oh, God.

20:25Oh, God.

20:26Oh, God.

20:32Oh, this is Ruben, my brother.

20:37And you're the fat mates?

20:41You must be the gorgeous French one.

20:45No, that's Celeste.

20:47I'm Joanna.

20:48Oh, sorry.

20:49I just assumed you were the gorgeous one.

20:58Right, you.

21:00I'll see you outside.

21:05Joanna.

21:14His name's Niall, by the way.

21:30That was epic.

21:31Mate, you're a lucky son of a bitch living with those two.

21:34I'll take the ugly bird off your hands then, shall I?

21:36She's not ugly, is she?

21:37Hey, I'm not complaining.

21:39Ugly birds are the better lay anyway.

21:41You're a sick fuck, Ruben.

21:42You do love it.

21:58What the hell?

21:59Do it back.

22:00Trust me.

22:00It'll work.

22:01I've got a game plan.

22:02What?

22:02No, they're not fucking hurt.

22:04It's a little soft cock, Neil Kennedy, not have it in him to have a man.

22:07Would soft cock, Neil Kennedy rather go off and read some gay little books instead?

22:17Sorry, I...

22:22You fucking beauty.

22:26Stop.

22:27Stop.

22:31Keep still.

22:31There are certain parts of my body I don't have control over, Joanna.

22:42You're very different, you two.

22:45It's like one needs a head and the other needs a body.

22:52I think you have doubts, Niall.

22:56About you?

22:57No way.

22:58I spoke to Albie about this.

23:00We have our theories.

23:08You're a virgin, aren't you?

23:12That's why they disconnect.

23:24Shall we play spend the bottle?

23:28Basically, wherever the bottle lands, you need to kiss that person.

23:31You know there's a good chance it lands on family.

23:33Family have a veto.

23:34Very convenient.

23:35I'll go first.

23:40Ready?

23:58Come on, Frog.

23:59Come on, Frog.

24:00I want a French one.

24:07I'm not scared of you.

24:09I'm not scared of you.

24:11I want to have a grunt.

24:28Okay, guys, that's great.

24:30Erm...

24:31Other people are yet to...

24:38Thanks guys

24:42Thanks guys

24:45Thanks guys

24:48Thanks guys

24:50Come on guys, it's a kiss, not a tongue transplant

24:58Now, you take this one

25:27Oh, sorry

25:29Don't mind me

25:39Who's next?

25:41Fuck it

25:42I'll go

25:48You're up

25:52Sorry, I don't think we've been acquainted

25:55I'm Albie

25:57I know exactly who you are

26:01Ruben

26:02Niles brother

26:04Oh, I don't do handshakes

26:06And I don't do with people turning them down

26:30What are you waiting for?

26:32I wasn't playing

26:34Spin the bottle

26:35Ancient law

26:36You went to the room

26:38You're playing

26:44Okay, well, can't argue with ancient law

26:52Hey, yes, Albie

26:53Oh, this is exciting

26:56This is exciting

27:26What are you waiting for?

27:28What are you waiting for?

27:29You know, man enough to kiss a bloke or something

27:31Yeah, kiss him

27:32A laura

27:33Yeah, kiss him

27:33I found outside this house

27:36You know, he's

27:46And I understand

27:53And I, you know, had to stop

27:54And you're waiting for me

27:56You're waiting for me

27:57To be kind of a star

27:59If I don't do with an academic

28:01I didn't think I was waiting for you

28:02Hey, look what are you, what are you here

28:02Anytime I'll see the light

28:13I'm your ID's ready, please.

28:26What's that?

28:28Electricity, mate. Have a sniff?

28:30No, no, I'm good, actually.

28:33Oh, the more for me, then.

28:37Boys?

28:39Celeste? Bump of life, mate?

28:41Sure. Why not?

28:49Do you even know what it is?

28:51I don't care. You need to tolerate your brother somehow.

28:58Where's Joanna?

28:59Urinating in the bushes.

29:01Sorry, guys.

29:02But you think I'm minging now.

29:10Right, let's talk game plan.

29:12It's a fat prick checking student IDs.

29:14Yeah, looks like it.

29:15You'll charm them, though, don't worry.

29:17Bouncers are the only ones who manage to see through my bullshit.

29:20What bullshit?

29:21Exactly. I'll have to find another way in.

29:23But wait. What if you don't?

29:25Don't worry. I have a knack for worming my way into tight spaces.

29:36I'll have to spend my time at work.

29:38My job is very boring. I'm an office clerk.

29:42The only thing that helps me pass the time away

29:44is coming on me back at Echoview someday.

29:58Hey. Can't get enough of that iron brew?

30:04No, I'm here for all the pussy.

30:07I'm sorry about my brother, but his heart's in the right place.

30:11I've always hated that phrase.

30:14It's excuse making for shitty behaviour.

30:17And why did you bring him?

30:19I wanted to see him, but we're practically the same person.

30:23You're not remotely.

30:25You're the same person in the same way Jekyll and Hyde are the same person.

30:35Yes, I love this song.

30:38I don't.

30:39Geldof's a wanker.

30:42I'm sorry it's in the right place.

30:47Did you see Live Aid?

30:49Holy shit.

30:50Freddie Mercury?

30:51Yeah, incredible, wasn't it?

30:52Yeah.

30:53It would be nice, wouldn't it?

30:54To be able to dance like that.

30:57Oh, you're telling me that Niall Kennedy can't radio gaga?

31:03Here, watch this.

31:14It's so exciting.

31:15No, no, no, I love it.

31:18It was as though Freddie had died and come back with longer limbs.

31:31What the hell is he doing?

31:32I knew that.

31:33I'm a pussy.

31:34I'm a pussy princess.

31:34Who's running a pussy princess?

31:36Who's running a pussy princess?

31:39I'm a pussy princess.

31:43You're a pussy princess.

31:47You're a pussy princess.

31:48You're a pussy princess.

31:49That's got to be my.

31:50You better find me.

31:53You better find out.

31:55No, baby.

31:56Get in this stuff.

31:57It's a rat trap.

31:59And you've been-

32:11Hey, are you okay?

32:12Look at this place.

32:13How do we get from hunter-gatherers to student unions?

32:15It's an evolutionary mess-up.

32:18Excuse me, mate.

32:19You just nudged me.

32:20I think you should slow down a bit.

32:23Look, promise me you won't start shit.

32:25I won't.

32:26It's a bumpy come-up is all.

32:28I'll be chock-full of love in a second, don't you worry.

32:31Oh, there they are.

32:32They're slappers.

32:34Come here, you.

32:40It's going to end horribly.

32:42You have no idea.

32:46Here.

32:48I'll be your guide.

32:50Easy win a bit.

33:08Less tongue.

33:10What?

33:11Next time.

33:13Less tongue.

33:15Right.

33:39What happened to Eason Ann?

33:42I think I'm feeling it.

33:47Here.

33:50You're still flaccid.

33:51I'm not going to get one here.

33:54Oh, that's fine.

33:56We leave.

33:59Yo, we're leaving.

34:01Fuck yeah, you are.

34:03Don't miss hell, okay?

34:04See, he's already raised, son.

34:14Ruben has blackness in him.

34:19I think you need some water.

34:21Ah, my coat.

34:23Wait here.

34:30I don't know.

34:52I'll be. I'll be with it up.

34:58Where's Celeste?

35:01Narnia, by now, I reckon.

35:05Did you have a good night?

35:08It started well.

35:11I suppose it's ending well, too.

35:14Who remembers the middle, right?

35:17Exactly.

35:18So many films were forgiven for starting and ending well.

35:22Great escape.

35:23How dare you?

35:26E.T.

35:27Get out.

35:28It's perfect.

35:36What a shitty start to uni.

35:39One of my black mates thinks I'm a virgin,

35:41the other thinks I'm a social freak.

35:43So you're not a virgin?

35:45No, no.

35:46I...

35:47I had sex with my brother's girlfriend once.

35:50Well, we had sex with her together.

35:54Well, that's dark.

35:58Sorry, I'm just trying to get my head around how that works.

36:01Well, he brought her home one night and pretty much placed her on me.

36:06Right, how old were you?

36:07I was 15.

36:08He was 17.

36:13What?

36:15No.

36:16It just all makes sense now.

36:19Why he feels part of you.

36:28Do you fancy a film or something where we could watch the start of the great escape and the end

36:34of E.T., try and make sense of them together?

36:38The prisoners of war who escaped to the moon on a bicycle?

36:41Yeah.

36:42Sounds perfect.

36:44Let's run.

36:45Because it's freezing.

37:13And then...

37:20Look, I'm not quite ready for that.

37:24That's OK.

37:25This does no pressure.

37:26I know.

37:27I want to.

37:30I just...

37:33I just...

37:34Hey.

37:36Hey, hey, what's going on?

37:38I just...

37:39I don't know where these feelings have come from.

37:43I mean, my mum's gay, for Christ's sake, it should be easy.

37:45Your mum's gay?

37:49Yeah.

37:50I'm genuinely impressed.

37:52I mean, gay mum's that, and that's pretty radical.

37:54I think it's the watch of our deal.

37:58You told them.

37:59No way.

38:00A fucking town would have a field day.

38:03They would think there was something in our water.

38:08Well, we can go at your pace.

38:11Even if that means going backwards.

38:15I hope that won't work.

38:17Oh, my, you have a lot to learn.

38:22We can do whatever you want.

38:24We can chat.

38:28We can watch films.

38:31We can...

38:32Hug.

38:35Maybe.

38:40Well, that's easy.

38:57You're a shit-hugger.

39:07It's okay.

39:08It's preoccupied.

39:10I'm sorry.

39:12I'm sorry.

39:37I love it.

39:39You can love it.

39:40No, no, don't.

39:41No.

39:41I'll get you, Mum.

39:46No.

39:47Get away.

39:48No, you stink, purge man.

39:52I'm coming by for more, Frenchy.

39:54Just you wait.

40:02So, what happened?

40:04They just started kissing in front of me.

40:06So, I gave Ruben an ultimatum.

40:08I said, if you carry on kissing her, I'm going home.

40:11And what has he said to that?

40:13He said, win-win.

40:15Then spat in my face.

40:16Jesus.

40:19I'm so sorry.

40:24Are you going to be able to get through this induction?

40:26I'll be fine.

40:28I've been through worse than him.

40:29That's for sure.

40:33We do have a fairly extensive reading list this year,

40:36and I suggest you take a look at all the texts on it.

40:38I know for some of you, English isn't your primary subject,

40:42but I still think it'd be good to acquaint yourself with the wider...

40:46the wider syllabus.

40:48It's Joanna, isn't it?

40:51Would you like to take a moment?

40:58Now, for the rest of us,

40:59if you can take a look at the handout in front of you.

41:25What's going on here?

41:27Acid.

41:28Some of the strongest shit I've taken.

41:34Your eyes are holes right now.

41:36Big,

41:38dark,

41:39shitty holes.

41:46Is Celeste okay?

41:47She's just working through some shit.

41:50That's the beauty of this drug.

41:52She's actually never been more awake in her life.

42:07Come here.

42:09Dance with me.

42:10Here.

42:13Get on my feet.

42:16You need to be at my level for what I'm about to tell you.

42:28What are we doing here?

42:31My dad.

42:33You know what's gone and done?

42:36Had another child with this random bird.

42:39she's fighting him for custody.

42:43Right.

42:44Okay.

42:51We can't let him win, Jagger.

42:56We can't let him win.

43:05If you lot don't get the fuck out,

43:06I am calling the police.

43:21How do you get rid of him?

43:24It wasn't too hard.

43:26He is pretty Pavlovian

43:28when it comes to police call-outs.

44:04Hey, hey, hey.

44:05What's wrong?

44:09You knew it was supposed to be

44:11a fresh start.

44:12A chance to,

44:13to,

44:14and I,

44:14I just made all the same mistakes.

44:17It's okay.

44:18It's not going to be here forever.

44:20I'm sorry.

44:21I shouldn't be crying.

44:22Hey,

44:23hey,

44:23don't worry.

44:27That's what I meant about performing.

44:32I can see it in your eyes almost.

44:35The real you

44:36was in there.

44:39Just trying to get out.

44:44I mean,

44:44that's the thing with eyes.

44:46They always tell the truth.

44:56Well,

44:56where are they saying no then?

45:01that you're exhausted?

45:05That you're done fighting?

45:08Yeah.

45:10You can say that again.

45:14But then stop fighting.

45:27I know this isn't like,

45:29like sexy,

45:31but,

45:32this is my first time with a man,

45:33so,

45:34sexy can win.

45:35Yeah,

45:35that's fine with me.

45:44I don't know.

46:04I just wants to focus.

46:05Yeah, let me just check.

46:21Hey, what are you doing?

46:23Oh, no, it's just, uh, it's just suddenly occurred to me that I am doing it again.

46:28What do you mean?

46:29I just told myself the last time I got to the straight, but I wouldn't do it again.

46:32No, no, I'm sorry, please, I, it's, it's just, it's, it's, it's,

46:35Ruben, he'll, he'll kill me if he finds out.

46:37Your mothers are together, why would he care?

46:39It's, it's different with men, isn't it?

46:42It's more, shameful.

46:49Wow, okay.

46:51By society's standards, I mean.

46:53Wait, I'll be pleased, let's, let's reset.

46:56You know, Niall, um, the first boy I ever got with was so worried about being found out

47:03that, um, he came in my hand, and then he ran out of the room to tell everyone I hit

47:09on him.

47:10I shared a dorm with eight other guys, and they beat me up every night.

47:15And so one day, I stood up, and I said, so what?

47:20I'm gay.

47:22The next person to touch me wants it.

47:26And I stood there with my arms crossed, and I waited, and nothing happened.

47:33You know why?

47:36Because my strength was far greater than their fear.

47:45Yeah, a few weeks later, I, uh, I went up to that boy, and I thanked him.

47:51I said, um, I said that he didn't tell anyone.

47:55I never would have.

48:01Why are you telling me this?

48:07Because if he didn't tell anyone, I never would have.

48:30Did your dad have another kid?

48:35Who told you that?

48:38You did, yesterday?

48:39No, I never.

48:40I should remember, Rabindran.

48:41I never said anything.

48:57Joanna's really upset.

49:00Why?

49:01Because I fucked a much fitter bird.

49:03You spat on her face, Ruben.

49:05So what?

49:06I'm not fucking justifying myself to you.

49:09You saw the way she threw herself over me all night.

49:11It was embarrassing.

49:12Listen, if you give your body away so easily like that, don't be upset if it comes back

49:16with a spit on her.

49:19What's this about?

49:21An intervention, is it?

49:24Now, Kennedy wanting one of his wee chats.

49:27Have I gone too far?

49:28No.

49:30No, I, I, I just think, maybe it's time to, you know, I, I, I think Maura might want you

49:38back, is all.

49:39Maura?

49:41What the fuck are you talking about more of her?

49:43You've never given a shit about her.

49:45Well, what about work?

49:49Fuck work.

49:51I'm staying here.

49:53Why should you get all this for free and I get nothing?

49:55We share everything.

49:56I mean, you're wearing my jumper right now.

49:57It's different.

49:58You don't get to whisk off on a fancy grant and leave me in a shithole.

50:01Fuck that.

50:02You should have brought me with you from the start.

50:04We can't share a room forever, really.

50:06It's not about the room.

50:07It's about the fucking principle.

50:12Don't you bring up my father again, okay?

50:16I will rip that jumper off your back right here, right now.

50:19You understand?

50:24You got anything else to say?

50:27Stay.

50:28Stay as long as you want.

50:29Stay as long as you want.

51:00Stay as long as you want.

51:00Oh, my God.

51:05Niall.

51:10How do you feel?

51:14I feel...

51:15Yeah, yeah, I stand.

51:18Should we go to your room?

51:20Ruben's coming back and I don't want him to know we're talking.

51:23So he didn't take it well?

51:25He needs time.

51:27It wasn't so much the reveal. I mean like you said our mums. It was more I kept it so

51:32long

51:34brotherly shit, you know

51:44Ruben don't don't don't this can I have a word from him?

51:52I know what you're gonna say

51:54We've had the chat

51:56As far as I'm concerned bygones be bygones

52:04Wow

52:06That is very commendable

52:09So sarcastic

52:11No, no, it's just Niall was worried about how you'd react

52:14I was pissed off at first, but

52:18However you guys want to live I won't get in the way of that as long as I'm staying here

52:22Wow

52:24I'm so impressed

52:26Really I am

52:31Look out, why don't you go like that?

52:35Wait I

52:36I had you all wrong

52:39The way you look out for each other

52:42I get it now, I really get it

52:46Great

52:47Wait Ruben

52:48I don't think you quite realise what you've done here

52:52How huge this is

52:54Calm down mate

52:55It's a broken kitchen

52:56I won't do it again

53:03Right, I see

53:10What is your fucking deal man?

53:12In what sense?

53:13Sniffing your fucking face at me

53:15Well I wasn't at you actually, it was at your brother

53:17You think that's fucking better do you?

53:18Great, no, no, no

53:19Come on let's go

53:19No, no, no

53:20You're really pressing me

53:21Son

53:22Just leave this okay?

53:24Not until this cunt explains himself

53:26Do you want to tell him or shall I?

53:32What the fuck is going on?

53:34Okay fine, I'll tell him

53:35I'll be, I'll be, I'll be

53:36Your brother

53:36Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh

53:38Oh 45

53:53The religion of them stop stop stop stop

53:58Please, bring up

54:00Stop, stop

54:00Oh shit

54:09I don't know.

54:42Looking from the window above, it's like a story of love. Can you hear me? Came back only yesterday, I'm

54:55moving farther away. Won't you hear me? All I needed was the love you gave.

55:05All I needed for another day, and all I ever knew, only you.

55:19Sometimes when I think of your name, when it's only a game. And I need you.

55:27Listen to the words that you say, it's getting harder to stay. When I see you, all I needed was

55:39the love you gave. All I needed for another day, and all I ever knew, only you.

55:51I need you.

56:17I need you.

56:22I need you.

56:25I need you.

56:49I need you.

56:54I need you.

57:01I need you.

57:08We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Niall Brandon Kennedy and Albert Franklin Safari.

57:19What's Ribbon doing here?

57:20I don't know. I'm so sorry.

57:22Jesus Christ, this is fucked up.

57:25What do we even do?

57:26I don't know.

57:28You mean?

57:31We may be asking to leave or something.

57:32No, don't do that. It'll just make things worse.

57:34And I promise...

57:35Let's just get through this then.

57:37It is yet to come.

57:38It'll be fine.

57:39Okay.

57:40Do you, Albert Franklin Safadi, take Niall Brandon Kennedy as your lawfully wedded partner?

57:51I do.

57:56Do you, Niall Brandon Kennedy, take Albert Franklin Safadi as your lawfully wedded partner?

58:31I do.

59:02You

Half Man (2026) Episode 2 | English Sub

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