Two self-aware characters in a "Call of Duty" style video game struggle with their screwy, frustrating existence.
Runtime: 82 min
Starcast: Robert Baker, Brent Chase, Katie Savoy, Mark Hamill, Ben Messmer
Director(s): G.J. Echternkamp
#Action #Comedy #Fantasy #Sci-Fi, War
Runtime: 82 min
Starcast: Robert Baker, Brent Chase, Katie Savoy, Mark Hamill, Ben Messmer
Director(s): G.J. Echternkamp
#Action #Comedy #Fantasy #Sci-Fi, War
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:28You
00:00:49I hate this shit
00:01:17Let's work, let's work
00:01:40Let's go
00:02:07You see that, look at a little dance
00:02:09We're almost there
00:02:26Get down there
00:02:35Between the houses
00:02:36Over there
00:02:47What do you see?
00:02:51They're eating rice
00:02:57Okay, these guys are wearing tan, which means they're tougher than the ones in black
00:03:02How about this
00:03:03You work your way down that ridge, I'll flank
00:03:06Son of a bitch
00:03:12Here comes daddy
00:03:18Get down, get down
00:03:25Get down, get down
00:03:48Fuck you
00:03:49You're going to look for the hostages
00:03:58Get to the cave, that's our objective
00:04:06That's our old bullet
00:04:26Nova
00:04:28Switch weapon
00:04:42Want some?
00:04:43Get some
00:04:50U-S-A
00:04:59Fuck, I already have this one
00:05:01Any sign of the hostages?
00:05:03They must be on the move
00:05:04We'll intercept them here
00:05:05The FAMDO railway
00:05:09FAMDO, Jesus
00:05:10Is that even a real place?
00:05:17Oh man, I hate these chopper rides
00:05:19At least they're over pretty quick
00:05:32All right
00:05:33All right, here it comes
00:05:38Steady
00:05:40Steady, just feel it
00:05:42Just feel it
00:05:43Okay
00:05:44Okay
00:05:44You don't want to rush it
00:06:13I don't want to rush it
00:06:17My help
00:06:22Damn bro, you're having a bad day
00:06:37All clear
00:06:41I gotta admit
00:06:42I like the hair
00:06:48Blouse, watch out
00:07:13Blouse, watch out
00:07:16You're on my list.
00:07:44I really hate this shit.
00:07:48Can you believe that shit back there?
00:07:52That lieutenant was like a Vietnamese Spider-Man.
00:07:55Must have been hiding in the attic.
00:07:56On a train?
00:07:57Damn, I was about to get my Earl Grey on.
00:08:00Dude.
00:08:00No, fuck, bro. It's happening.
00:08:02Bring the crumpets.
00:08:09What the fuck is that?
00:08:14Come on, let's go.
00:08:37Did you see that, Monk?
00:08:38What, Monk?
00:08:40Hey, new trees.
00:08:43Why are you down there?
00:08:45Is that where you live?
00:08:47He was floating.
00:08:48Sergeant Bucks.
00:08:49Your mouth is bucking for a Section 8.
00:08:52You need to get your mind right.
00:08:53Now, which way to the camp?
00:08:54That's right there.
00:08:57Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:08:59There's got to be an easier way into the camp.
00:09:02Ah.
00:09:03Tunnel, maybe.
00:09:05You want to get shot at, Nova?
00:09:06Be my guest.
00:09:07But I'm taking the easy way.
00:09:09I'm taking the tunnel.
00:09:13You know what you promised, Bucks?
00:09:15You think too much.
00:09:18Fuck these vines.
00:09:20They're not vines.
00:09:22They're roots.
00:09:23You want to trade places?
00:09:24Oh, we'd have to back all the way out.
00:09:27Your Renette was looking pretty hot.
00:09:29Well, that's off topic.
00:09:30I wouldn't mind crawling through her tunnel.
00:09:33Ellen, do you really think I...
00:09:35I think we're there.
00:09:41Showtime.
00:09:46What?
00:09:57Oh, dang it.
00:09:58Come on, more.
00:10:00Please, stay with us.
00:10:01Okay, but you know, at least we got the element of surprise.
00:10:06If we could try to flank them again.
00:10:07We could.
00:10:11Don't be a dick.
00:10:12See you on the other side.
00:10:16So unprofessional.
00:10:30Don't I look stupid to you?
00:10:40Come on, fight like a man!
00:10:44Ha ha ha!
00:10:57Enough with the baseball bat, okay? Enough!
00:11:00Stop. Stop! This is my weapon specialty.
00:11:03Do you see anyone else out here using one? Do you?
00:11:06Lighten up.
00:11:08Hey!
00:11:21We got it.
00:11:31That's a little MLB11 for PlayStation, bitches!
00:11:35You done?
00:11:36Let's go.
00:11:38Excellent!
00:11:41Too bad you couldn't find something useful like a nine iron or a hockey stick.
00:11:47Where are the hostages?
00:11:49Back on the train.
00:11:55Being a monk in the middle of a combat zone? It must mean something. It looks so real.
00:12:02Speaking of fully rendered, I heard you can see the pilot's porto mag in this scene.
00:12:06Tilt!
00:12:08Tilt!
00:12:09Down!
00:12:10Zoom in!
00:12:13Sweet!
00:12:15No!
00:12:16We got it!
00:12:33Tilt!
00:12:33No!
00:12:34Shh!
00:12:36No!
00:12:37Shh!
00:12:38Sorry.
00:12:40I'm sorry.
00:12:42You want to do it?
00:12:44Yeah, I mean, you always get to do it.
00:12:46Yeah, get one.
00:12:47Yeah, get one, come on.
00:12:48Push it down?
00:12:49Push it down. Line it up.
00:13:02So you ready? I mean, they're gonna pop up right here.
00:13:05I'm ready. You don't look ready.
00:13:06How could I be any more fucking ready?
00:13:07I got my finger on the fucking trigger.
00:13:09Ah! Son of a bitch!
00:13:13Ah! God!
00:13:19Ew, I couldn't be more ready.
00:13:21Oh, you got fucking shot too.
00:13:23Well, your fault.
00:13:25Come on.
00:13:29Watch out.
00:13:40All clear.
00:13:42Bucks!
00:13:58Bucks!
00:14:00I'm fucking frozen!
00:14:01Damn it, man!
00:14:03Throw your camera!
00:14:26Yeah!
00:14:28Savor the flavor!
00:14:48Hey!
00:14:49Hey, wait!
00:14:50I guess you think that was brave back there.
00:14:53Uh-huh.
00:14:54Well, in my book, heroes don't fight wars.
00:14:58They end them.
00:14:59But what do I know?
00:15:01I'm just a cheerleader with a fancy camera, right?
00:15:04I think you're a reporter.
00:15:08They say a picture's worth a thousand words, Sergeant.
00:15:12And my pictures say fuck you 500 times.
00:15:16Yeah, that's great.
00:15:17Do you want to get out of here?
00:15:19Maybe grab something to eat?
00:15:23What?
00:15:26Coffee?
00:15:29Green tea?
00:15:30Are you asking me on a date?
00:15:32Well, yeah.
00:15:34I mean, why not?
00:15:36I don't think I eat food.
00:15:40Well, there's a first time for everything.
00:15:49We had flowers like these where I grew up.
00:15:52We used to gather them for our sweethearts.
00:15:57They're beautiful.
00:16:00I like your books.
00:16:02You're different.
00:16:06Oh, shit.
00:16:08Take this.
00:16:09For luck.
00:16:21Wait, wait, wait, wait. Come back.
00:16:24Fuck!
00:16:25Oh, come back.
00:16:27I finished the level.
00:16:31Folks, bro!
00:16:33Helicopter bonus round!
00:16:34Let's go!
00:16:36Let's rock!
00:16:50Come on!
00:16:58To make this big round!
00:16:59It's not fair!
00:17:00What?
00:17:01Said it's not fair.
00:17:03I didn't even get to kiss her.
00:17:05Of course not!
00:17:06It's a gang motivator!
00:17:08It's supposed to keep your interest up!
00:17:09Oh, look what I found.
00:17:18I'm on security firepower!
00:17:26I don't even know her name.
00:17:33Why are we doing this?
00:17:36Bonus points!
00:17:37What's the point? What's the plot?
00:17:40USA!
00:17:42This doesn't make any sense.
00:17:58What is self-respect?
00:18:01USA!
00:18:19With his supply lines disrupted, Charlie will marshal his forces here, in the Foaming Valley.
00:18:26Now, thanks to the efforts of Echo Company, we know NVA has artillery here and here.
00:18:35Way to go.
00:18:36Fuck you!
00:18:37Fuck you!
00:18:40I love the bonus round, bro. I love it.
00:18:44You would.
00:18:45And the terrain makes the Ozarks look like bush goddamn gardens.
00:18:50Okay, you gotta admit this shit is random and confusing.
00:18:54This is a sexy reporter, right?
00:18:56She gets kidnapped!
00:18:58It's Vietnam?
00:18:59Some guys wear black uniforms?
00:19:01Some guys, lots of guns?
00:19:04Foliage?
00:19:07Christ, bro.
00:19:08Do I have to spell it out for you?
00:19:09Remember, Miss Bleeding Heart Reporter has connections in the State Department.
00:19:15Her safe recovery is a top priority.
00:19:20According to this, our final mission is to kill a guy named Merck.
00:19:24We don't even know who that is.
00:19:27Quick question, General.
00:19:28Do you know who a guy named Merck is?
00:19:31That's M-E-R...
00:19:33Dude, he can't answer.
00:19:34This is a cutscene.
00:19:37Oh.
00:19:38Well, in that case, I have a follow-up.
00:19:40How do you feel about Irish breakfast?
00:19:53We'll get you in there, on the swift boats.
00:20:10This is more like it.
00:20:12Books matter.
00:20:14Got any tropicana?
00:20:15You can't get tan.
00:20:19Come on, show yourself.
00:20:22Bro.
00:20:24It's just a little odd, don't you think?
00:20:27You're making a deal of it.
00:20:28Buddhist robes floating through the forest.
00:20:30I thought I heard a gong.
00:20:32You know what it was.
00:20:34It's not a glitch.
00:20:35It was probably a joke.
00:20:36Self-portrait by a programmer.
00:20:39Could be a sign.
00:20:40That's what I'm saying.
00:20:42Maybe the monk leads the way to...
00:20:45The Enchanted Forest.
00:20:47Fuck.
00:20:49Think about it.
00:20:50The Enchanted Forest.
00:20:51A secret level filled with naked women
00:20:54that exists solely in your mind.
00:20:56Fine.
00:20:57But let me ask you this.
00:20:59Was a so-called monk wearing any panties?
00:21:10Hello, GI.
00:21:12Hello.
00:21:14They look friendly.
00:21:16Hello.
00:21:18Of course they're not friendly.
00:21:19Nothing's friendly in this game.
00:21:28Okay, on the shoreline.
00:21:30Go, go, go.
00:21:33Ah!
00:21:38Ah!
00:21:40Ah!
00:21:42Ah!
00:21:44Ah!
00:21:44Ah!
00:21:46Ah!
00:21:56Uh!
00:21:57Ah!
00:21:58Ah!
00:21:58Ah!
00:21:58Ah!
00:21:58Ah
00:22:03What the fuck?
00:22:07Hold on.
00:22:14One shot.
00:22:29No!
00:22:32You're on my list. You're on my list, big time!
00:22:37We have to go after him.
00:22:39What the fuck?
00:22:40He killed my gun.
00:22:41What the mission? The mountains of Fo Ming.
00:22:44Turn the boat around.
00:22:46The boat only goes one way.
00:22:47Do it!
00:22:48He can't hear you.
00:22:52Really?
00:23:03What do you hope to accomplish here?
00:23:05Just tell me where he is.
00:23:08He's like 50 yards off the stern.
00:23:12My motherfucker.
00:23:26It's been 45 minutes.
00:23:29What the fuck?
00:23:30First Spider-Man?
00:23:31Now Aquaman?
00:23:34Why aren't you drowning?
00:23:35Because this isn't part of the game, dammit.
00:23:38There's nothing in this part of the river.
00:23:40It's all filler tiles.
00:23:41Get me a harpoon.
00:23:50Hey.
00:23:51Hey.
00:23:52Hey, hey, you.
00:23:53Stop the boat.
00:23:54Stop the boat.
00:23:55He's around the bed.
00:23:57I'm turning around.
00:23:58This is more important.
00:24:06What the hell is that?
00:24:15Get him out!
00:24:17Get him out!
00:24:18Get him out!
00:24:35Get him out!
00:24:35Just a bunch of filler tiles, huh?
00:24:39Closions are my least favorite way of dying.
00:24:41Gotta go!
00:24:43Wake it back here!
00:24:44You son of a bitch!
00:24:53Time to die.
00:24:57No!
00:25:02Come on!
00:25:04Come on!
00:25:05I gotta clean this thing out.
00:25:14Ah!
00:25:16Bingo!
00:25:30I hate this fucking shit!
00:25:32I hate this fucking shit!
00:25:38Ah!
00:25:40Ah!
00:25:40Ah!
00:25:42Ah!
00:25:42Ah!
00:25:44Ah!
00:25:45Ah!
00:25:45Ah!
00:25:45Ah!
00:25:55Ah!
00:25:56Ah!
00:25:59Ah!
00:26:01Ah!
00:26:03Ah!
00:26:04Ah!
00:26:05Ah!
00:26:09Ah!
00:26:10Ah!
00:26:13Ah!
00:26:14Ah!
00:26:15Ah!
00:26:16Ah!
00:26:32Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, that's what you get.
00:26:40What?
00:26:41The bridge is left over from the first level, totally irrelevant to the current mission.
00:26:48Do you smell that?
00:26:50It's like ganja and perfume.
00:26:52It smells like victory.
00:26:56And if we cut over that ridge there...
00:26:58It's close.
00:26:59I can smell it in the enchanted forest.
00:27:04Vox, bro, what's wrong with you?
00:27:11You're brunette.
00:27:12She's probably in some filthy bamboo cage, cold and hungry and waiting for her next scene,
00:27:18and we're out here smelling things.
00:27:20Roger that.
00:27:21Yeah.
00:27:22Where is she?
00:27:53Oh.
00:28:07Please.
00:28:09I don't drink with pigs.
00:28:12Oh.
00:28:13I can assure you, Ms. Hardaway, they are more clean than all of my soldiers.
00:28:23So, what is a beautiful woman like yourself doing in a shithole like Yignap?
00:28:34Exposing the brutality of sadistic warmongers like you.
00:28:39Ah.
00:28:40Yeah.
00:28:43Nice.
00:28:45Ooh.
00:28:47Ooh.
00:28:47Ooh.
00:28:48Your photograph.
00:28:48Yes, yes.
00:28:49Uh, I am, uh, a big bass, huh?
00:28:55Hi.
00:28:56Yeah.
00:28:57I am something of an amateur photographer myself.
00:29:01Uh, tell me, how do you feel about my work?
00:29:06It's a nice composition.
00:29:09You'll never get away with this.
00:29:11I've got friends.
00:29:12Your friends in the State Department do not frighten me.
00:29:18Those aren't the friends I'm talking about.
00:29:24Looks like we're at the edge of the map.
00:29:26You think?
00:29:31God damn it.
00:29:32I told you we should have gone north.
00:29:35We leveled up, remember, bro?
00:29:36We have voice nav now.
00:29:40Roger 2, Niner.
00:29:41I'm gonna need to recon our location.
00:29:44Double quick.
00:29:46At north point two miles.
00:29:47Yeah.
00:29:50Ten feet to next turn.
00:29:55Five feet to next turn.
00:30:00Turn left at child soldier.
00:30:04Cute.
00:30:13One, two, three, four, five.
00:30:18One, two, three, four.
00:30:25One, two, two, three.
00:30:29Oh.
00:30:36Oh!
00:30:39Oh!
00:30:41Oh!
00:30:43Oh!
00:30:46Oh!
00:30:51I don't think we have a choice.
00:30:53HB4 Beauty?
00:31:33Shoot the bridge.
00:31:34What?
00:31:34The bridge is the boss.
00:31:39More.
00:32:11A rope bridge.
00:32:13Worst boss ever.
00:32:20Rope bridge destroyed.
00:32:22Repeat, rope bridge destroyed. Please advise.
00:32:25I advise you to run before he finds out.
00:32:41Sorry to interrupt, Major, but the rope bridge has fallen.
00:32:51Now our drug trucks will have to drive all the way around.
00:33:01Suppose we could try to rebuild it, but it's so much rope.
00:33:16Bring her to me.
00:33:23But where?
00:33:25Trans camp.
00:33:38This is where they're holding her?
00:33:39Yeah, you see anything?
00:33:42Oh my God.
00:33:43They're eating more rice.
00:33:46Okay.
00:33:47Let's do this.
00:33:50Hold on.
00:33:53This whole field is mine.
00:33:58Give me a stick.
00:34:05What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?
00:34:06I said give me a stick, not a twig.
00:34:08Here we go with the botany again.
00:34:12What's the difference between a stick and a branch?
00:34:14Just give it to me.
00:34:37Did it work?
00:34:41All right, this field is definitely mine.
00:34:43Lucky for us.
00:34:46I've got a minesweeper.
00:34:48How does it work?
00:34:49I don't know.
00:34:50It's her.
00:34:54Shit, bro.
00:34:55This whole field is mine.
00:34:57Blow up.
00:34:58Now let's get some more feet.
00:35:01It's all silky, huh?
00:35:03Now you try mine.
00:35:08Come on!
00:35:11Take it off.
00:35:13Take it off.
00:35:26Come get me!
00:35:28Here he comes.
00:35:32I'm here!
00:35:36Come on!
00:35:38Come on!
00:35:42Come on!
00:35:53Run!
00:35:53Run!
00:35:54Run!
00:35:56I'll get her.
00:35:57No, look.
00:35:59Be careful.
00:36:09Drop the weapon or the girl is dead
00:36:12I mean it
00:36:14Let it go
00:36:16Right where's the pig
00:36:20All these sweet and sour all over this place
00:36:22Heads up
00:36:26Yeah
00:36:38What took you so long
00:36:41Wait don't go out there
00:36:44I had to look through his entire portfolio
00:36:47No it wasn't my fault
00:36:48It's Nova
00:36:48Wait wait wait
00:36:49This is a minefield
00:36:51You always take me to the nicest places
00:36:57You're bleeding
00:36:58Where
00:36:59Just hold still
00:37:07Stop stop don't smile at me
00:37:09Don't think a single good thought about me
00:37:11I don't understand
00:37:12I don't either
00:37:13But you're the only thing that I like in this stupid world
00:37:16And every time we get lovey-dovey something terrible happens
00:37:19So what's the plan
00:37:21We just stand here
00:37:23And
00:37:24And we get really angry with each other
00:37:36I can't do it
00:37:37We're too beautiful
00:37:38It's the Asian hooker dress
00:37:40Maybe we could try a little sexual tension
00:37:43I won't laugh
00:37:46Well you know what they say about war sergeant
00:37:49We could live a lifetime in a few seconds
00:37:52I know
00:37:53I lived a thousand of those lives
00:37:59Come back to the camp with me
00:38:02I think I can keep you safe if I lock you in a closet
00:38:06But I never got to thank you for saving my life
00:38:12We have moons like that where I grew up
00:38:13Huh?
00:38:15We call them
00:38:15I love you
00:38:21No!
00:38:34Ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!
00:38:53I've always been the last to stay online
00:39:04The party's together, the enemy spawns
00:39:09Black is a drag it seems
00:39:12I didn't stay clear from their line of sight
00:39:19Take wise heart, purple heart
00:39:28Near, near, near, don't close my eyes
00:39:35Now my next save point is out of place
00:39:43My game is over, I will fade away
00:39:53Newbies will die, but not flight like I
00:39:58Talked with the best by best and near me
00:40:01To the family tree
00:40:19Blocks! Man, I've been looking all over for you
00:40:23Hey, do you have a med kit?
00:40:27I think we need a time out
00:40:29And I know just the place
00:40:40This is the best place in Saigon
00:40:42This is the only place in Saigon
00:40:44Yeah, but it kicks ass
00:40:51How do you do it?
00:40:53How do you stay so wonderfully stupid?
00:40:56Bucks, bro
00:40:57We are little insignificant pieces in this big huge world
00:41:01I mean, I know you love that brunette
00:41:04But I have a little faith
00:41:05Shit happens for a reason
00:41:07Wrong
00:41:07Shit happens because some idiot makes it happen
00:41:10Some pimple-faced kid who works at Subway
00:41:14Zero chance of getting laid
00:41:16Shhh
00:41:17Shhh
00:41:18He might hear you
00:41:19Shhh
00:41:20No chance, so long as he's in control
00:41:23Shhh
00:41:24That's pussy talk, bro
00:41:27We gotta man up
00:41:29Beat these BC bastards
00:41:31USA
00:41:32USA
00:41:33USA
00:41:34USA
00:41:35USA
00:41:36USA
00:41:37USA
00:41:37USA
00:41:38Nova
00:41:39Nova, my friend
00:41:40I have died more than 300 times
00:41:43I have been shot, stabbed, poisoned, blown up
00:41:47And one time, I starved to death because God forgot to turn off the DV on his way to the
00:41:53gym
00:41:53Yeah, yeah, me too
00:41:57Don't you wanna win the game?
00:41:59Don't you wanna win the girl?
00:42:01Well, maybe I don't
00:42:03I mean, have you ever thought about it, what happens if we win?
00:42:07Maybe winning is like being paused forever
00:42:16Fact is, this is a video game
00:42:18A bad one
00:42:21That's why we kill them, that's why they kill us
00:42:23And can you think of a more stupid existence?
00:42:29We could be a movie or second combat footage
00:42:33Dude, where do you come up with this shit?
00:42:35Sounds like you boys need something extra
00:42:40Yeah
00:42:44Don't get me wrong
00:42:45You look like a couple of flat ass honkies
00:42:50This is where they give us a laugh dance
00:42:52But the bush is a rough place
00:42:56Sooner or later, everybody needs an upgrade
00:43:02Oh, yes!
00:43:05How much for the crossbow?
00:43:07What is this place?
00:43:08Standard, black market shop, full body makeover
00:43:11No happy endings
00:43:13Like your own personal start up menu
00:43:15Fuck yeah
00:43:18Astronaut suit
00:43:19Lot
00:43:29Yeah
00:43:43But I tell you
00:43:48Ooh
00:43:49Ahhhh
00:43:59You don't have anything gold-plated, do you?
00:44:03Do you have this in my size?
00:44:05Hey, you wouldn't know anything about the enchanted forest.
00:44:08No such thing.
00:44:10Besides, you couldn't handle it.
00:44:12Too much sex.
00:44:14What?
00:44:15Orgies, they're like big Tetris game.
00:44:17Come from every angle, fill up every hole.
00:44:22How do I get there?
00:44:24Easy.
00:44:24Just give up.
00:44:25But what about your partner?
00:44:30Oh, baby.
00:44:38I feel kind of gay.
00:44:41You wear the clothes.
00:44:42Don't let the clothes wear you.
00:44:45Now let's finish this thing.
00:44:47Aah!
00:44:48I'm with the car.
00:44:51I'm burning shit, I'm congratulations.
00:44:54I don't paint a fire machine.
00:44:54Till three I'm warm, I shit.
00:44:56I'm warm, I shit.
00:44:58I'm warm, I shit.
00:44:59I'm warm, I shake.
00:45:10Oh!
00:45:11Oh!
00:45:11Oh!
00:45:11Oh!
00:45:12Oh!
00:45:12Oh!
00:45:12Oh!
00:45:13Oh, oh!
00:45:14I'm a machine, I've run down here
00:45:18I'm a revolting crane
00:45:21I've got rain, I'm a war machine
00:45:24I'm a war machine, I'm a war machine
00:45:26One, two, three, I'm a war machine, I'm a war machine
00:45:30I'm a war machine, I'm a war machine
00:45:37Where can she be?
00:45:45Go to hell, all of you
00:45:49That's where we're going
00:45:50You're going with us
00:45:54Where is she?
00:45:58Where is she?
00:46:00The Major Muck man
00:46:03What did you say?
00:46:04Major Muck
00:46:05He runs heroin across the border
00:46:08He used to be with the special force
00:46:10And then he went crazy
00:46:12And he'd take her to his hideout
00:46:16But you can't go there
00:46:18It's no use
00:46:19Why not?
00:46:21No one gets out there alive
00:46:40Hello?
00:46:45Is anyone there?
00:46:53Welcome to my parlor
00:46:56Set the spider to the fly
00:47:02Who are you?
00:47:03I am the razor's edge
00:47:08The beginning
00:47:10And the end
00:47:13Mother used to call me the Butcher of Tron Sa
00:47:19Murk
00:47:19One night
00:47:21I dreamt I was a butterfly
00:47:25Since that time
00:47:27I've never quite been sure that I am not
00:47:35Totally gay
00:47:41We are alike
00:47:45And you and I
00:47:47You take pictures of the carnage
00:47:51I
00:47:52I
00:47:53Create
00:47:54The carnage
00:47:56A duet
00:47:58For piano
00:48:00And madman
00:48:03Played in the key
00:48:05Of suffering
00:48:08I like gravy
00:48:10I like gravy on everything
00:48:11Except my mashed potatoes
00:48:13And by gravy
00:48:14I mean blood
00:48:16And by mashed potatoes
00:48:23I mean absolutely nothing
00:48:26Help!
00:48:27I paid a hefty price
00:48:30For you Miss Hardaway
00:48:32I expect you to show some gratitude
00:48:35What do you want with me?
00:48:39Nothing really
00:48:40Just some pleasant company
00:48:43Sympathetic ear
00:48:45These
00:48:49Have stopped listening
00:49:07Whole Valley's hot
00:49:09Are they eating rice?
00:49:10No rice
00:49:12Jesus
00:49:13Merck's men
00:49:14He stays locked
00:49:15In that bunker
00:49:16The only people
00:49:16To get into the smugglers
00:49:17They take him his supplies
00:49:20Oh shit
00:49:21What?
00:49:22They're coming this way
00:49:25Don't worry
00:49:25I got a plan
00:49:29Gentlemen
00:49:31Let's talk
00:49:41I hope you know
00:49:42I hope you know
00:49:42How you're doing with books
00:49:50Quiet
00:49:52Quiet
00:49:52Quiet
00:49:53Quiet
00:49:53I'm not going to hurt you
00:49:56I just want to be your friend
00:50:07That's good man
00:50:08Right over there
00:50:35Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
00:50:41Oh, goody.
00:50:43It came.
00:50:47You want to hear a song?
00:50:50Row, row, row thy boat.
00:50:57Do you want to know a secret?
00:51:01Sometimes I get this strange feeling that I pretend.
00:51:04I mean, just a figment in some child's imagination.
00:51:08That's one fucked-up key.
00:51:19How did you get in here?
00:51:20I made a deal with the smugglers.
00:51:22Where'd you get that?
00:51:22New biceps.
00:51:24It's a long story.
00:51:26So far, so good.
00:51:33After them!
00:51:53Over there!
00:51:55Over there!
00:51:56Over there!
00:51:57Over there!
00:51:57What the fuck?!
00:51:59They're coming from everywhere!
00:52:05We can take cover in those trees!
00:52:07Come on!
00:52:07Fuck yeah!
00:52:24What is this?
00:52:25It's the final level.
00:52:37We got to get to Merck.
00:52:38He's the boss.
00:52:39Flank him!
00:52:44You wait here.
00:52:46I...
00:52:47I...
00:52:50There.
00:52:56Let's go!
00:52:58Let's go!
00:53:25Is that the best you can do, Bucks?
00:53:34It'll take more than bullets.
00:53:37How about grenades?
00:53:50No!
00:53:59Shit!
00:54:02He got away.
00:54:07Oh, fuck.
00:54:10Oh, fuck.
00:54:12I hate this shit.
00:54:15I hate it!
00:54:16Oh, I wonder if it was a kiss!
00:54:21A lousy, scripted kiss.
00:54:25Bucks, bro, get up.
00:54:28You're embarrassing yourself.
00:54:31I'm an embarrassment?
00:54:33I'm an embarrassment.
00:54:36You threw a fucking grenade at my girlfriend!
00:54:40He's trying to complete the mission.
00:54:42The mission?
00:54:44What do you care about the mission?
00:54:46Your mission is to be my sidekick.
00:54:49What's that supposed to mean?
00:54:50Well, think about it, Nova.
00:54:52I'm the one with the story.
00:54:53I'm the one with the love interest.
00:54:54You're here for the comic relief.
00:54:57You don't mean that.
00:54:59You're a program.
00:55:01We don't know which one of us is Mitch.
00:55:02You're a goddamn NPC.
00:55:04Is that so?
00:55:06Yeah, that's so.
00:55:08Okay, Mr. Shit!
00:55:11You think I'm holding you back?
00:55:12Well, let's see what's what.
00:55:13Whatever.
00:55:14I challenge you.
00:55:16What are you talking about?
00:55:18I'm talking about you versus me.
00:55:20I'm talking about PvP mode.
00:55:22Bitch!
00:55:22On what level?
00:55:24Stonehenge.
00:55:25Volcanic crater.
00:55:27Army base.
00:55:28It's on.
00:55:29You want a green or white?
00:55:31English breakfast?
00:55:45You did look gay in that outfit.
00:55:47That's not what your mom said.
00:55:52Where are you?
00:56:01Stop hiding from the truth!
00:56:03Stop hiding from my bullets!
00:56:12You have emotional issues!
00:56:21Existential this!
00:56:38Existential this!
00:57:02No!
00:57:04That's enough!
00:57:06I'm done!
00:57:07I hate this shit!
00:57:09Yeah!
00:57:10Well, I love it!
00:57:15I am not a loser.
00:57:17I am not an NPC!
00:57:20Can we pause?
00:57:33I was supposed to be your friend.
00:57:37I quit.
00:57:48With his supply lines disrupted, Charlie will marshal his forces here in the Fu Ming Valley.
00:57:55Now, thanks to the efforts of Echo Company, we know NVA has artillery here and here.
00:58:20And the terrain makes the Ozarks look like bush goddamn gardens.
00:58:29Remember, Miss Bleeding Heart Reporter has connections in the safe department.
00:58:34Hey.
00:58:36Name's Books.
00:58:37About to go out on a mission.
00:58:38I'm looking for a little backup.
00:58:40So you want to join my party?
00:58:44Fuck.
00:58:44How do you do this?
00:58:47Shake hands.
00:58:50Shift F7.
00:58:54Can you hear me?
00:58:55Roger that.
00:58:56Okay.
00:58:58Okay.
00:58:59You ready to go bust some chopsticks?
00:59:01Let's go.
00:59:17Over there!
00:59:20This way!
00:59:32Where?
00:59:48You lay down cover fire, I'll head for the K.
00:59:52Over there!
00:59:54you know i'm kind of skimming through this level could you take it easy
00:59:56over there where over there all i see are chickens let's get them this way we just
01:00:04came that way over there that's all you can say isn't it roger that you know i think i saw
01:00:12some
01:00:12fanny packs in a supply truck back there let's get them and how do you tickle another man's butt
01:00:16this way don't forget to reload
01:00:37you know sometimes i get this strange feeling that everything i say was recorded in a sound
01:00:41booth in burbank let her go
01:00:55where's nopla i don't know that's not good
01:01:01don't worry get him next time
01:01:11you're supposed to be flanked
01:01:15pretend you're being flanked
01:01:17you should call nova
01:01:33you again you know you can't win without a partner i've got a partner
01:01:49leave this place
01:01:51pig
01:01:58i'm okay
01:02:01i really am
01:02:08hey i don't have the girl and i don't have any friends but at least i got my self-respect
01:02:22you know
01:02:23that's a good point
01:02:33hey you hey you're the reason for all this
01:02:45son of a bitch
01:02:47son of a bitch
01:03:03son of a bitch
01:03:04wrote to your mother
01:03:04oh
01:03:08au
01:03:13car
01:03:15can you see
01:03:31we will find the same way
01:03:32on
01:03:49we have been waiting for you who are you the question sergeant books
01:04:02is who are you tell me sergeant how many times have you died i've lost count and how many times
01:04:13have you
01:04:13truly lived okay confucius this has been swell but if you don't mind the love of my life is being
01:04:20held captive in a bunker so lesson number one it's not always about you yeah yeah i think i'm
01:04:39starting to get that one lesson number two all beings are doomed to a cycle of death and
01:04:48reincarnation lift up your foot every time you board the helicopter you step on that cricket
01:04:55for each of your lives he has died a hundred times for he is the only cricket in the game
01:05:03now take off your shoes it's not an asian thing i just don't want to get cricket on the rug
01:05:08sure sure i know i die i know i come back but why what's the point
01:05:21in each life you learn from your mistakes you grow into your more perfect self i hate it
01:05:30i still can't win the game and that is why you are here because deep down you have the spirit
01:05:38of a
01:05:42come we have much work to do i wish nova was here
01:05:52i think we're traveling inside our rocket searching for a place to dock it all our friends are all
01:06:00aboard a hundred million miles high heard the words from distant planets it's time to be
01:06:05a newsreel hey lady ready to have for mature you want to know the meaning of life yes
01:06:28but life is an empty vessel we fill it with actions and experiences
01:06:39only then does it become meaningful
01:06:52that's either bad lemonade or good urine correct everything depends on your point of view
01:07:01when are you the most satisfied when i'm with the girl then why are you not with her i'm trying
01:07:08but
01:07:08but she keeps getting kidnapped and i get shot or blown up impermanence is the nature of all things
01:07:15if you hold her in your heart you don't need to feel her with your hands
01:07:21okay now it's talking like a pussy
01:07:33it's better on the second sip
01:07:36your mind is clearer now it's true the universe is chaotic and cruel but if you're selfless in your
01:07:46love the chaos of the universe can be an ally why are you punching the wood what did the wood
01:07:55ever do
01:07:55do to you i'm just working out stop sit
01:08:03i'm going to teach you a mantra it is a very powerful meditation but it will only work
01:08:11if you stop trying to control everything it is the song of the universe repeat after me
01:08:18a a a down down left left right come on a a down down left left right a b left
01:08:34hold together a a down down
01:08:39left left left right
01:08:41oh
01:08:44oh
01:08:45oh
01:08:49oh
01:08:51oh
01:08:51oh
01:09:01oh
01:09:13oh
01:09:14oh
01:09:14oh
01:09:14oh
01:09:15oh
01:09:36oh
01:09:43oh
01:09:44oh
01:09:44oh
01:09:46oh
01:10:00oh
01:10:01oh
01:10:02oh
01:10:09Tramp? What are you doing here?
01:10:13I like to party.
01:10:17I also like to party.
01:10:19Yeah, no!
01:10:22Maybe you're open to some food by DVD.
01:10:32I'm going to try.
01:10:34I'm going to try.
01:10:38I'm going to try.
01:10:40Tune in, mother-in-law.
01:10:41I'm going to try.
01:10:42I'm going to try.
01:10:45I'm going to try.
01:10:48Mo' die.
01:10:49Player.
01:10:51Mo' die.
01:10:53Yeah!
01:11:00Okay, bitches. Who's in?
01:11:03No mercy.
01:11:05Time to pwn!
01:11:13Who the fuck is that?
01:11:16He's cool. He's with me.
01:11:21Okay, who's ready for a new high score?
01:11:29In position.
01:11:30Keep it clean.
01:11:32Don't waste your shots.
01:11:33Stick in your hands and get ready to suck it.
01:11:39I should be doing my homework.
01:11:41You want to sound hot.
01:11:43It's on!
01:11:46Fire! Fire!
01:11:48Fire!
01:11:59Oh, yeah!
01:12:02What are you doing?!
01:12:03These are serious players!
01:12:04They go for 300 killstreak!
01:12:10Coming hot from the pot!
01:12:12Moving left!
01:12:12Out of my range!
01:12:14Got him!
01:12:15Don't fuck this up!
01:12:16I'm like an out-of-work actor.
01:12:18Handing out the headshots!
01:12:20Check your ammo, Cobra Kai!
01:12:22On your right!
01:12:22Moving forward!
01:12:23Switching gun!
01:12:23No way! I'm not hungry!
01:12:25I need a mothpuck!
01:12:25Reload!
01:12:26Reload!
01:12:27Reload, you moron!
01:12:27It's in your face!
01:12:30Face fucks!
01:12:31This is gratuitous!
01:12:33Watch the cow!
01:12:34290!
01:12:342901!
01:12:352902!
01:12:3595!
01:12:37We're almost at 300 killstreak!
01:12:40Almost there!
01:12:41299!
01:12:42Reload!
01:12:42Reload!
01:12:43Behind you!
01:12:43Behind you!
01:12:44Reload!
01:12:47Are you lying?!
01:12:49How could you do that?!
01:12:50Oh, come on!
01:12:51I told you to reload, dick!
01:12:52Epic fail, motherfucker!
01:12:53I'm not in the back!
01:12:54What's up?
01:12:55Noob!
01:12:57Noob!
01:12:58Noob!
01:13:01Noob!
01:13:02Noob!
01:13:02Noob!
01:13:03Noob!
01:13:03Noob!
01:13:03Noob!
01:13:04Noob!
01:13:04Noob!
01:13:04Noob!
01:13:04Oh, shit!
01:13:07He'll boot it!
01:13:10Goodbye!
01:13:12Ow!
01:13:13Fuck your streak!
01:13:14I have you failed calculus!
01:13:20Oh.
01:13:21Hey.
01:13:22Hey.
01:13:25What have you been up to?
01:13:26I've been doing some thinking.
01:13:28Oh, bless.
01:13:29No.
01:13:30No, I'm good.
01:13:32Is that the Enchanted Forest?
01:13:35It's real, bro.
01:13:37And it's beautiful.
01:13:40Yeah, but you're a soldier.
01:13:42And what you really want to do is blow shit up and kill people.
01:13:47Not so much.
01:13:51But if you're asking for my help...
01:13:54I am.
01:13:58I'm in!
01:14:01Yeah, let's see.
01:14:01It's...
01:14:02I'm in!
01:14:02Noob!
01:14:09Noob!
01:14:22Noob!
01:14:24plan is to kick some ass how about this this is really crazy what if space invaders landed on
01:14:31earth but everything was controlled by centipedes yeah wrap your mind about that enough i can't take
01:14:42it anymore it's not my fault that your boyfriend's a substandard warrior all you do is talk and talk
01:14:48and talk i am the light of the world hey you want to play sitar hero fine
01:15:07can you handle it on expert
01:15:14i mean remember to hammer on
01:15:25i'm not glad to see you this way come
01:15:49give up you're surrounded
01:15:53no you are how many times do i have to kill you i think you've killed me enough
01:16:04go
01:16:09get out
01:16:24oh
01:16:25oh
01:16:42Oh, wow, kill him.
01:17:02Nova, you lose something?
01:17:08Help!
01:17:16Alex!
01:17:18Alex!
01:17:19Oh, shit.
01:17:54Oh, shit.
01:18:07Help!
01:18:08Okay, honey. I'm here. I'm here.
01:18:13Don't you get it?
01:18:15I'm smarter than you.
01:18:17I'm stronger than you.
01:18:21I am a god.
01:18:25What can you do to stop me?
01:18:35Hey. Hey. Down. Down.
01:18:42What are you doing?
01:18:44I'm letting go.
01:18:45What?
01:18:47I'm singing the song of the universe,
01:18:49and it goes something like...
01:18:58Hey. Down. Down.
01:19:01Down. Down.
01:19:02Down. Down.
01:19:05Down.
01:19:07Down.
01:19:07Down.
01:19:08Down.
01:19:09Down.
01:19:34That's impossible.
01:19:36You can't be that fast.
01:19:38I'm not.
01:19:40That's not a kid who works at Subway, he is.
01:19:54Yeah!
01:19:55Back in one for me, bro!
01:20:12Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:20:13Please don't hit me.
01:20:14How's that?
01:20:16Well, that's better.
01:20:20USA!
01:20:22You know, we have vistas like this.
01:20:25Where do you come from?
01:20:26I know.
01:20:29Now shut up and kiss me.
01:20:31But you won.
01:20:33And if I kiss you, it might be the end of everything.
01:20:36Well, you'd better slip me some tongue.
01:20:46Oh, yeah!
01:20:49You like that?
01:20:52Mmm!
01:21:00Yeah!
01:21:18Yeah!
01:21:32Yeah!
01:21:52One, two, three, you are offline
01:22:00You are back in the end of day
01:22:03You are the road
01:22:05Time to run your friends
01:22:07You feel your heart bleeding slower
01:22:11One, two, three, the game is over
01:22:15Done forever, take it, take it
01:22:33Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:22:36What are you talking about, we're retired
01:22:38Not anymore
01:22:46I hate this shit
01:22:51Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:22:54Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:22:58Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:00Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:00Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:02Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:02Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:02Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:02Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:02Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:02Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:03Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:05Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:07Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:10Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:14Shit, bro, you gotta get up
01:23:15Shit, bro, you gotta get up
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