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  • 7 hours ago
Wrong
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00:00:11Buy lingerie, check. Bikini wax, check. Get boyfriend, check. Just one thing left to do
00:00:18before I lose my virginity at the glorious age of 21. Stop thinking about dick. I'm not thinking
00:00:23about dick, okay? I'm just nervous to lose my virginity to Mr. Big Dick, okay?
00:00:30Oh, fuck. It's Luke, my favorite customer. Did he hear? Okay, don't think about dick, especially
00:00:40not Luke's dick, especially not about Luke's probably really big dick. Morning, dick. Double
00:00:46shot of espresso and a mocha frappe with nonfat milk, right? You're perfect. Thank you. Right?
00:00:51Isn't Sophie just perfect? Mike, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming. I would have
00:00:57got ready. Oh, don't worry. He's just here for a coffee. No, I'm here to see my girl.
00:01:01Go. Want coffee? Right, right. Sorry.
00:01:28Oh, my God. Mikey, don't laugh. We're so mean. Go help your girlfriend. All right,
00:01:34all right, all right, all right. I'm sorry. No, baby. You look great. My bad, my bad,
00:01:40my bad. Come here. Don't worry about that. I do it all the time. Let me remake your coffee.
00:02:00Right, guy. See, it's my girl. My face to wipe. Thanks, but, uh, no thanks.
00:02:07Oh, my God. Look at her throwing herself at the campus doctor like that. She's such a slut.
00:02:12As if someone as hot as him would want her. Yeah. Watch this. Oh, Mikey. Where did you find
00:02:19someone as cute as Sophie? Looks like she's not very experienced at grown-up things like making coffee
00:02:26or having sex. Tosh, no, come on. Oh, my God. Are we talking to the oldest virgin on campus?
00:02:40So, uh, you're a virgin?
00:02:46Oh, be careful, Mikey. I think we have a stage five clinger right here.
00:02:50All right.
00:02:53Brooke, is it? Yeah, you forgot your chlamydia medication at the clinic.
00:02:57What? I literally don't even know you. Don't be embarrassed. Look, it's just chlamydia this week,
00:03:03gonorrhea last month. You should be more careful who you're sleeping with, especially while you're on the medication.
00:03:07Oh, my God. What? It was just chlamydia! Oh, fuck you all!
00:03:15Sounds like she already did.
00:03:17Oh, yeah.
00:03:35I'm really, really sorry. I really don't like your boyfriend. He doesn't like my boyfriend? What does that mean?
00:03:44Shit, my appointment. I gotta go. Sorry.
00:03:51All right. We'll have your birth control ready for you after the doctor administers a routine pelvic exam.
00:03:55So, go ahead and put this on.
00:03:58Oh, he'll be with you in a moment, sweetie.
00:04:00He?!
00:04:06A man is conducting my pre-virginity pelvic exam? This day could not get any more humiliating.
00:04:15Good morning, Miss Tisdale.
00:04:20It's Luke. Luke is a gynecologist. My gynecologist?
00:04:41Don't worry. I'm fooling the doctor to be gentle as it's your first time.
00:04:45Right. My first time.
00:04:46Miss Tisdale, is it?
00:04:48Yes. Nice to meet you, Dr. Miller.
00:04:51Nice to meet me? Pretty sure we've met a couple times already.
00:04:53Grind me.
00:04:54I mean, the coffee shop. Grind me.
00:04:57Grind me.
00:04:59Oh, no. He remembers me.
00:05:02So, you are here looking for a prescription for birth control?
00:05:06Yes.
00:05:07Bad asshole.
00:05:09Yes.
00:05:10I cannot stress it enough that you still need to use a condom if you want to prevent any kind
00:05:14of unwanted pregnancies, right?
00:05:15I mean, I'm sure you don't want to get pregnant with that guy.
00:05:18I will use a condom.
00:05:22I'd say you shouldn't even sleep with him at all. He's not good for you.
00:05:25Dr. Miller, I'm not sure that you're...
00:05:27Nurse, can you grab me a spectrum, please?
00:05:28Yes, Dr. Miller.
00:05:30I'd also recommend you don't do anything that you're not ready to do.
00:05:34I'm ready. I think I'm ready.
00:05:37Mike's my boyfriend and, yeah, he's kind of an asshole, but he likes me and nobody's ever really liked me,
00:05:41so...
00:05:41You know what? I'm sorry that I overstepped the boundaries there.
00:05:45Uh, let's get started with a breast exam.
00:05:51Breast exam?
00:05:53Breast exam?
00:05:54If you're uncomfortable, I can always get a different doctor.
00:05:56No, it's... I like it. It's fine.
00:06:03Uh, it's probably easier if you can lay back.
00:06:09Is this okay?
00:06:13It's okay.
00:06:14It's okay.
00:06:14Stop thinking about losing your virginity.
00:06:16Stop it. Stop.
00:06:18My head's cold?
00:06:19No, they're perfect.
00:06:22Stop embarrassing yourself.
00:06:24There's no way I'm being turned on by my gynecologist.
00:06:29There are no abnormalities.
00:06:34Thank you, Luke.
00:06:36Dr. Miller.
00:06:37That wasn't so bad.
00:06:39Sophie, can you put your feet up in the stairs for me?
00:06:46Okay, yes.
00:06:47I've fantasized about a hot guy's head in between my legs, but not performing a pap smear.
00:06:52Okay.
00:06:54So, I need you to relax for me.
00:06:57Alright? You're doing good.
00:07:01I wonder if this is how he talks women through orgasms.
00:07:12I'm going to be inserting a speculum.
00:07:16You're going to swab them your cervix.
00:07:18I need you to relax for me.
00:07:23So, do you like younger women?
00:07:27I mean, as your students, because you work on campus.
00:07:31No, my family donated to the clinic a couple years ago, or a while ago actually.
00:07:37And so, in my great grandfather's honor, I donated a few hours of my time at the clinic.
00:07:41Oh.
00:07:42Duh.
00:07:43Now he thinks, you think he's a creep.
00:07:45Amazing.
00:07:46Last thing.
00:07:48I'm going to touch your abdomen, just to check on your internal organs.
00:07:51Alright?
00:07:53Relax for me.
00:07:54You're doing good.
00:07:55His finger's literally inside of me.
00:07:58Oh my gosh.
00:08:05I think I just had an orgasm.
00:08:08Did he?
00:08:11Alright.
00:08:13He's so noticed.
00:08:15Oh my god.
00:08:16Everything looks good.
00:08:17No abnormalities.
00:08:19Alright?
00:08:21Be right back.
00:08:28Is that a freaking wet spot?
00:08:33I can never look at that man in the eyes ever again.
00:08:40Alright, so here's your break.
00:08:47Should I bring it sooner to the cafe?
00:08:49Okay.
00:08:52She's my patient.
00:09:00Mike is going to come in his pants before he can even get yours off tonight.
00:09:05You are so graphic.
00:09:09Speaking of sperm, I assume your appointment went okay.
00:09:12You will never believe who my gynecologist was.
00:09:16Luke.
00:09:17Are you serious?
00:09:19You got a finger by the...
00:09:20I don't want to talk to you.
00:09:21He buys coffee from you.
00:09:22The Luke.
00:09:24Sophie, you're a freak.
00:09:26So is he like, good with his fingers or...
00:09:30Shut up, Everly.
00:09:32Shit.
00:09:32He's so sexy.
00:09:34Maybe I should schedule my pap smear.
00:09:36Okay, bye.
00:09:37Don't worry.
00:09:38Okay?
00:09:39Tonight's going to be amazing.
00:09:41Okay, Soph?
00:09:43Come on.
00:09:43Let's get you ready for your big night tonight.
00:09:46Mike.
00:09:50I hope Mike's worth it, Sophie.
00:09:55Why do I even care?
00:10:01Yo.
00:10:02Ready to fork over a grand tonight?
00:10:04Is that...
00:10:05Sophie's boyfriend?
00:10:10You're not winning any bet tonight, buddy.
00:10:12You're dating a nun.
00:10:13She's never going to let you smash.
00:10:15I'm calling it.
00:10:16Dude.
00:10:17She's low-key a slut.
00:10:19I just can't prove it.
00:10:21You will soon.
00:10:25You're going to film her?
00:10:26No.
00:10:30Dude, you're sick.
00:10:32What if she doesn't let you hit her?
00:10:34A little bit of this.
00:10:37And she's going to go feral.
00:10:41Yo, that 1500 is mine.
00:10:43Just keep the cameras rolling.
00:10:48Don't get involved, Luke.
00:10:49You're just your customer and doctor.
00:10:54Hey.
00:10:55You need to pay.
00:10:59Fuck!
00:11:00My eyes!
00:11:01What the fuck?
00:11:02Where's your fucking friend live before I call the cops?
00:11:06Kay...
00:11:07Kaylee Avenue, Apartment 2.
00:11:09I need to get to Sophie.
00:11:17My lady.
00:11:35Nervous?
00:11:38Why do I feel less comfortable with my boyfriend than I did with my freaking gynecologist?
00:11:46You nervous?
00:11:48I'm a little nervous.
00:11:50Don't be.
00:11:52You don't make cherries I pop.
00:11:58Wait.
00:11:59What?
00:12:01I'm sorry.
00:12:02I forgot to start my birth control.
00:12:03We're going to have to wait.
00:12:04I'm sorry, Mike.
00:12:05I can't do this.
00:12:09Are you kidding me?
00:12:10I'm sorry.
00:12:11You were not hot enough to blue ball me for another month.
00:12:13Mike, why would you say something like that?
00:12:16I'm going home.
00:12:22There it is.
00:12:24There it is.
00:12:26The hell you are.
00:12:28Not until I get something.
00:12:32No.
00:12:36Stop, Luke.
00:12:37Stop.
00:12:39Mike.
00:12:46Who the fuck invited you?
00:12:51Dr. Miller.
00:12:53Hey, Sophie.
00:12:54Hey.
00:12:55Hey, Steven.
00:12:58Hey.
00:12:59Hey, Sophie.
00:13:00Hey.
00:13:01Hey, can you hear me?
00:13:03Did you take something?
00:13:05What's up, Grandpa?
00:13:06Who the fuck invited you?
00:13:10Listen up, dumbass.
00:13:11Making her like you is the last good thing that will ever happen to you.
00:13:14I go to an Ivy League asshole.
00:13:16If you want her, you can have her.
00:13:18I've got plenty of pussy to choose from.
00:13:20What?
00:13:20What's so funny?
00:13:21You don't go to an Ivy League school anymore, brother.
00:13:23Since who?
00:13:24You ever study at Miller Hall?
00:13:26Yeah.
00:13:28I'm Dr. Luke Miller.
00:13:30My family is the biggest donor to the university since ever.
00:13:33That means I got the dean on speed dial.
00:13:37Yeah.
00:13:38You just pissed your future away, brother.
00:13:40Wait.
00:13:40Wait, wait, wait.
00:13:42Wait, wait, wait.
00:13:42No, no, no.
00:13:43And you can let your buddy Jake know, too.
00:13:46No, no, no.
00:13:46Please, can we talk about this?
00:13:48It was just a joke.
00:13:48Oh, you wanna talk?
00:13:53Hey.
00:13:55Hey, come on.
00:14:12She's either really wasted or drugged.
00:14:14Either way, it's not good.
00:14:22You stole me from my date?
00:14:25Gives you the right, you asshole.
00:14:31I'll talk to you when you're ready to have an adult conversation.
00:14:35Stop talking to me like you're my dad.
00:14:36I don't have a daddy fetish.
00:14:46How much did you have to drink?
00:14:48I can drink however much I want and sleep with whomever I want to sleep with.
00:14:52Just because you shoved a speculum up me doesn't mean you can tell me what to do, Dr. Miller.
00:14:57Don't call me Dr. Miller.
00:14:58Tell me this.
00:14:58Why did you prescribe me birth control if you're not even gonna let me use it?
00:15:06I was at the bar, alright?
00:15:08I saw your boyfriend placing a $1,500 bet that he could take your virginity and record it.
00:15:20Wow.
00:15:22I'm an idiot.
00:15:25No, you're not an idiot.
00:15:28First, I can get extremely turned on by my gynecologist to the point where I'm orgasming during the exam.
00:15:36And as if having a fetish for your gyno isn't bad enough, I was gonna lose my virginity to a
00:15:41complete asshole.
00:15:43I waxed my asshole for that asshole.
00:15:48I'm sorry Soph.
00:15:55So if you want my virginity week...
00:16:05You can have it.
00:16:13Someone clearly wants me.
00:16:15Are you...
00:16:18hard right now?
00:16:24We're mid-argument.
00:16:27That's so wrong.
00:16:29You're drunk.
00:16:30I'm taking you home.
00:16:33What are you doing?
00:16:34You're drunk. I'm taking you home.
00:16:35What? No, I can't go home.
00:16:37My roommate's there.
00:16:38I told her I was gonna be at Mike's.
00:16:40She's probably having sex because she's fuckable unlike me.
00:16:49We're here.
00:16:51Here? Where is here?
00:16:53My place.
00:16:55You can stay here for the night, wait until your roommate wakes up and answers the phone.
00:16:59If you're comfortable.
00:17:00I want to.
00:17:02I mean, I'm cool. I'm cool with that.
00:17:06But is your girlfriend gonna be cool with that?
00:17:09Smooth, Sophie.
00:17:12Who says I have a girlfriend?
00:17:36You're in Dr. Miller's room.
00:17:38The room you fantasized about doing terrible things in for the past year.
00:17:52How do you afford to live here alone? It's huge.
00:17:57I don't like tight spaces. Not all tight spaces.
00:18:02Is he a tease or do I just need to bleach my mind?
00:18:06Come on, let's get you cleaned up. You'll feel better afterwards.
00:18:09Thanks for taking care of me, Doc.
00:18:15Sorry, I don't think I can unclasp my bra.
00:18:17I'm happy.
00:18:21I'm happy.
00:18:42I'm happy.
00:18:53you don't have to look away doc you've seen way too much of me already
00:19:00i just don't want to be disrespectful you know i don't want you thinking i learn my patients
00:19:06all the time wait you mean you don't rescue all of your college girl patients from their
00:19:13evil boyfriend and draw them a bath in your two million dollar home dr millen no miss disdell
00:19:22then why me i'm nothing special you don't mess up my coffee liquor you're kind to people
00:19:32you're beautiful
00:19:45who is that ah this is my crazy ex-girlfriend um you have to hide right now all right come
00:19:58luke are you home
00:20:04lukey come out come out stop playing i stole one of your pagers i know you're not on call
00:20:18don't say a word there's no way that thing's fitting inside of me his ex or anyone else
00:20:27are you seriously gonna hook up with your ex right now what the hell
00:20:32she's a dean's daughter we broke up forever ago but she stocks my patients she gets them
00:20:37kicked out of school then why did you strip down and get into bed
00:20:44what are you doing you didn't answer my calls i'm sleeping why don't i join you
00:20:57i could think of a million things i'd rather do like what baby like the thing that i do with
00:21:02the ice cubes ice cubes what ice cubes like call the cops do you not remember i have restraining
00:21:09water against you your father begged me to not go through with it come on lukey you know you love
00:21:16screwing me
00:21:21i have someone new in my life
00:21:25someone new who the is she i'm gonna give you three seconds to get out of my room
00:21:31and if you're still here i'm gonna call the cops then i'm gonna call the dean
00:21:35and i'm gonna let him know that his psychotic daughter stole my pager do you know how dangerous
00:21:39that is no you can't one
00:21:45two fine fine i'm leaving
00:21:50your loss
00:21:59oh my god luke
00:22:15holy
00:22:16shit
00:22:17you smell like booze i sobered up i swear
00:22:22what's with the ice cubes
00:22:27i prefer no ice cubes
00:22:33you won't move on from me lucas
00:22:38you'll come back to me after i
00:22:40take care of that little distraction
00:22:57my virginity
00:23:00yep still intact
00:23:05fuck my life
00:23:07language miss tisdale
00:23:09jesus what the hell are you doing
00:23:13i'm here to tend to your massive hangover whatever else your asshole ex gave you last night
00:23:18what would you have me do
00:23:20don't say it don't say it you could join me
00:23:27you could join me
00:23:28selfie you're 21 years old
00:23:37luke that is three years past legal there are plenty of guys on campus who would want to
00:23:42go fuck me so what's your problem
00:24:02i don't even want to think about some boy touching you
00:24:05but
00:24:07but a lot of things sophie you're my patient for one in an on-campus clinic
00:24:14i'm graduating this year
00:24:17second
00:24:20your version
00:24:22ouch
00:24:23i'm asking you to change that
00:24:34you're talking to dr miller right now love
00:24:39but you're asking me to fuck you
00:24:44i don't make love
00:24:46i'm not gonna call you in the morning afterwards all right sweetheart
00:24:49i'm not that guy
00:24:56well maybe i don't need you to call me luke
00:24:58i'm a big girl i can handle myself
00:25:02unless you're just not interested
00:25:05i saw how hot your ex is and
00:25:08she's good at crazy sex according to you
00:25:12someone's jealous
00:25:15sophie there's a reason why i drive across campus to come to your shitty little cafe to have you make
00:25:20me a cup of coffee because it's cheap
00:25:34because i enjoy looking at your ass in your uniform when you bend over and make me my cup of
00:25:39coffee
00:25:42you see you don't have to pull any tricks for me to want to tear into your perfect body
00:25:47so do it i'm ready i promise
00:25:54ready
00:26:01what's that as your doctor i know you haven't started your birth control
00:26:09sorry so are you kidding me
00:26:20can i uh can i get a continue you're killing me so the dr miller takes you to his fancy
00:26:27ass house
00:26:27you see his dick and you're still a virgin yeah i threw every proposition in the book at him
00:26:34and he just didn't want this
00:26:39can you wait oh my god sophie no 36 year old man i looked as a shirt by the way
00:26:45is passing up a
00:26:46hot virgin co-ed like you he respects you dummy or he doesn't think i'm worth the trouble i mean
00:26:53he's
00:26:54clearly experienced sophisticated sexy all the things i'm not you have a brand new shiny tight
00:27:01pussy a cadillac pussy and luke's gonna be back for a test drive watch
00:27:09hi is the cadillac pussy a new drink no can you just order
00:27:27i thought that you were dr miller's intern but a janitor makes a lot more sense luke's psycho ex
00:27:36followed me
00:27:40what do you want i think we got off on the wrong foot
00:27:47i didn't get to introduce myself when you were in bed with my boyfriend luke is not your boyfriend
00:27:54gina he made it clear that you two broke up oh so you admit that you're screwing dr miller knowing
00:28:00that i am pregnant with his child can you believe it sophie's evil first mike now someone's boyfriend
00:28:10a slut pregnant with luke's did you really think that a man that accomplished attractive and rich
00:28:19would settle for some broke loser barista sophie you idiot of course he was never yours
00:28:31sophie you can have him you didn't have to hurt my baby i didn't do this i swear i would
00:28:37never
00:28:37what's going on your employee just assaulted that pregnant woman no i didn't i've never spoken to
00:28:42this woman before today hey that's the dean's daughter sophie i'm calling the police you know
00:28:50i would never do this please she's just assaulted a pregnant woman we need a medic too i'm a doctor
00:29:23um no no no no i'm i'm fine i'll just be going
00:29:30we can't let you leave without a medical clearance never seen him look so angry yeah it'll be no
00:29:36trouble at all your doctor didn't tell you you can't drink caffeine when you're pregnant
00:29:45it was for a friend you liar i saw you drinking from it let me go i don't want to
00:29:52press charges just a moment
00:30:05oh my god you're crazy you're actually crazy luke please i can explain she's not right for you
00:30:15breaking into my house stealing my pager that's normal for eugene i get it
00:30:20but i draw the line when you try to hurt somebody that i care about
00:30:29officer i want her involuntarily committed she's a danger to herself and people around her
00:30:35i'll sign the warrant myself stop luke this isn't you you are just being taken advantage of she's
00:30:43nothing a cheap broke campus whore you're better than this luke officer take her away
00:30:55let's go let's go you bitch don't deserve him let's go i knew she was psycho you couldn't even hurt
00:31:05fly even if someone paid you too thanks ev sophie i'm sorry i should never have taken her word over
00:31:12yours
00:31:13take the day someone's waiting for their new test drive cadillac pussy
00:31:35you came just to save me of course i did
00:31:45i knew that when she stopped blowing my phone up that she was gonna come after you
00:31:49so i didn't stand to see you get hurt because of me
00:31:57i don't know if i buy that luke sophie i rushed out of surgery for you
00:32:01i know she's capable of doing crazy things i don't think she's as crazy as you think
00:32:06i mean she had some pretty good points about you
00:32:10what do you mean i mean you reject all of my advances and then suddenly i'm so important you
00:32:17leave a patient for me what do you see in me or am i just entertainment to you entertainment sophie
00:32:27if you were just entertainment i wouldn't get involved in your life you're just young
00:32:37i should leave you the hell alone unless you find somebody more suitable just because you're this big
00:32:42hot shot doctor at upn doesn't mean you know what's good for me or what i want
00:32:52what do you want
00:32:59you take me seriously
00:33:03get in the car what to where spend thanksgiving with me and my family what unless you have something
00:33:13else planned for the break
00:33:39i thought you said we were here to meet your family not go to a gala we're doing both
00:33:44my mother she hosts our clinic's charity gallery or the vacation home your vacation home as in you
00:33:51have multiple wow mr millen it's good to have you home sir
00:34:03and you have a butler at your vacation mansion luke you're not just rich you're like old money
00:34:09what the hell look i didn't say because i don't want to stress out the truth is yes
00:34:15so my family's rich but we're not here to impress them we're here to show them that you're a part
00:34:20of
00:34:20my life and that i'm not embarrassed to be seen with you
00:34:37what is this the waitress that you brought me lucas
00:34:42why is she dressed so frumpy
00:34:49i'm not hang on what even am i to luke
00:34:58mother
00:35:00this is sophie my girlfriend
00:35:04girlfriend no way wait focus sophie manners nice to meet you miss miller
00:35:14girlfriend
00:35:17what happened to the pretty one jina
00:35:22the dean's daughter the one i worked so hard to set you up with
00:35:26ouch
00:35:28mother again as i just said this is my girlfriend and my date to the gallery if i have to
00:35:34remind
00:35:34you to her importance in my life again i'm going to make sure this gala does not go smoothly unless
00:35:39you want one of your pompous friends to know which one of their husbands you're sleeping with
00:35:41oh you ungrateful child
00:35:48if you'll excuse us we need to get ready oh before we go which room do you keep the
00:35:53bitches dior and versace she needs some options for tonight fourth floor third door on your view
00:36:01thank you mother good to see you
00:36:09that was the hottest thing anybody has ever done for me
00:36:20your brother has lost it get down here and handle this new trashy arm candy
00:36:34is your mom always so narcissistic psychopath yeah that's why i don't really get along with the
00:36:42family but the charity gala raises a lot of money for my patients so i come back every year
00:36:49you care a lot about your patients that's sweet i do plus the other perk is i could spend a
00:36:55ton
00:36:55of money on you what does that mean
00:37:09luke you did not
00:37:15which one of them speaks to you i mean i want all of them that's done
00:37:20i haven't even picked one out you said you want all of them they're yours
00:37:3180 i can't accept this is like my whole college tuition in this room well i didn't offer you a
00:37:37quarter million dollars in dresses to piss you off
00:37:40why do you like me i'm just a college student and you're you dr trust fund baby your culture your
00:37:50parents host charity events you have a butler that does your laundry i do my laundry in a coin
00:37:56operated machine that i share with like a hundred other students it's not too late to not associate with me
00:38:16of course it's too late i'm already falling for you then why won't you go all the way with me
00:38:28because i want it to be right i don't want you to look back on this and think of me
00:38:32as the old guy who
00:38:33took advantage of you but take it slow
00:38:41even though
00:38:45there's nothing i'd rather do than rip your clothes off right now really
00:39:20i'm just giving you what you want luke
00:39:44you know i'm gonna need you back for this
00:40:00whatever you say doc
00:40:08that doesn't sound like gina
00:40:11he dumped my best friend
00:40:14the gala is tonight and luke is supposed to have the dean's daughter on his arm not
00:40:21strutting the campus mattress
00:40:24luke's an idiot for dumping an heiress for a barista
00:40:30don't worry mom i'll pry that little gold digger off his arm just long enough for him to realize
00:40:35that he's made a mistake
00:40:37that's my girl
00:40:41sophie love you've been in there for two hours i promise you you're going to be the most beautiful
00:41:16person at the gala tonight
00:41:16i've never even been to a charity auction wouldn't it make more sense if we just met up at like
00:41:20a bowling alley and donated the party expenses
00:41:26you're so refreshing
00:41:28you ready
00:41:47wow
00:41:47wow she's an upgrade of vagina
00:41:49yeah you never said your brother's chief was so pretty why would you want to break them up
00:41:54shut up there's a two and a half billion dollar inheritance down the drain if my brother
00:41:59marries this nobody instead of gina
00:42:08i'd like to thank you all for coming to the baldwin memorial charity event this is a great opportunity
00:42:12for us to raise money for the family clinic myself and my girlfriend sophie tisdale are very excited to
00:42:19meet and talk to all of you cheers
00:42:40good evening everyone thank you so much for being here at our wonderful sharing auction
00:42:48our first item
00:42:54an all-expense-paid trip to borabora with its amazing iconic volcanic views starting big
00:43:04five thousand five thousand now six twenty six
00:43:09borabora after finals is pretty good can i get
00:43:12you need to come quick my wife's having allergic reaction
00:43:16you're going to be okay
00:43:26what is it my throat oh you're not breathe
00:43:38so number twelve seven thousand dollars all-expense-paid trip to borabora give me a round of applause
00:43:44congratulations hey hey actually we have one more item up for grabs
00:43:49miss tisdale a gorgeous student has graciously offered herself up for a date with a lucky man
00:43:56now according to miss tisdale she has a great personality and an even better mouth
00:44:02what a hussy auctioning a blowjob i hope dr miller knows what his girlfriend's up to
00:44:10i mean the poor guy's tending to a patient i knew that you were too classless for this family poor
00:44:17lukey
00:44:17she hasn't fooled trailer trash skank who let her kind in here i i wouldn't do that i would never
00:44:26i have a thousand for a night with miss tisdale
00:44:29hmm really sophie no one wants you for a thousand
00:44:32whoo all right five hundred all right five hundred for the poor girl she's got student loans whatever
00:44:43that means where's she okay
00:44:52i don't see anything wrong here no my my throat it it hurts
00:44:57i recognize you you're one of my sister's shithead friends what the hell is going on here
00:45:01hey your sister's doing you a favor bro patrick get out of my way why lower your standards we're
00:45:06millionaires she might be a good but that's all she'll ever be man
00:45:16you can talk about my girlfriend when you can live a day without your daddy's money
00:45:19motherfucker
00:45:22450. 400?
00:45:28oh all right i mean look i know sophie's just being modest poor girl doesn't have many skills outside
00:45:36the bedroom i'll help the young lady then maybe we could have some late
00:45:42night study sessions huh sold for four hundred dollars wow sophie looks like people really
00:45:52aren't in the market for used goods
00:46:02use goods that's right serena after you being the person that's had five abortions in the last year luke you
00:46:08watch your mouth right now
00:46:11what was that you're saying about class latisha darling
00:46:21you idiot get off the stage we're leaving mom he's embarrassing me
00:46:27you're humiliating me in front of my friends you hussy
00:46:30no need my dear our circle of elite friends can no longer be seen with the likes of you
00:46:36after all of this
00:46:40but but no no
00:46:44young man that information you gave is illegal you're a doctor
00:46:50greg i was waiting to get to you you want to bid on my girlfriend
00:46:54aren't you a little occupied with your secret girlfriend stephanie how's she recovering from her
00:46:58boob job no no no no no no
00:47:05stephanie
00:47:15i'm gonna sue you for everything you've got you can't you see yes my family might own the clinic that
00:47:21you all go to but i practice under the university so you can't touch me so unless you all want
00:47:27me to air
00:47:28out your dirty laundry i suggest you cut very generous checks to the charity and then get the
00:47:32out of my house
00:47:35let's go get to writing let's go everybody out
00:47:47look at these assholes go you didn't have to ruin your charity event for me i would have been okay
00:47:52i do it a thousand times over no one comes at my woman like that plus i think we made
00:47:57more
00:47:57in donations tonight than we have in the last 10 years blackmail surprisingly works all right
00:48:17what are you looking for i paid for all the booze so i figure how the night went might as
00:48:26well be
00:48:26your personal bartender right okay make me an appletini what seriously all right so vodka lemon and
00:48:43apple liqueur can we just do something easier you suck at being a rich kid
00:48:52move
00:48:56can you open that thank you
00:49:03all right let's just make it simple bye shots
00:49:10i've never done that before seriously what do you mean you're like so old i was trying to get into
00:49:17school i didn't have time to do body shots off of hot little girls like you he just said you're
00:49:23hot
00:49:23make the move sophie okay well i'll teach you
00:49:37holy
00:49:37holy
00:49:38shit
00:49:58all right i got the hang of that now it's your turn miss tisdale now or never sophie go for
00:50:04it
00:50:04new rule you can't choose the same place twice is that so then where are you gonna lick me
00:50:22shame shame you're trying to play with my emotion play blame only for your lack of devotion
00:50:30how'd you ever think you could pull this shit think you could get away with it
00:50:35be careful what you get cause you don't know what you might get
00:50:48i'm sorry was that you drive me fucking wild luke i'm ready
00:51:02i'm an idiot wait what sophie i went too far i'm sorry
00:51:09fuck luke no no no i i'm telling you that i'm ready i want to do this with you lose
00:51:15my virginity
00:51:17sophie
00:51:19don't sophie me that's so patronizing
00:51:24like i'm trying but i'm gonna be the person responsible if you get hurt
00:51:29i don't want to be the guy that you know leads to you ruining your life i'm terrified of it
00:51:34it's this that hurts me what you're doing right now rejecting me
00:51:37what would be so terrible about us being together
00:51:40being either sophie
00:51:42did you see what happened here today
00:51:45i mean my family sucks
00:51:47my ex-girlfriend is batshit crazy
00:51:51of course i want to be with you
00:51:53but am i right for you
00:51:55and you really want to take on this baggage
00:51:58i might be a virgin but this whole it's not you it's me thing is really freshman year
00:52:07so where are you going
00:52:08i'm calling a cab and going back to campus i can't deal with your hot and cold bullshit anymore
00:52:13you think you're doing me this favor but really you're just reminding me of how unfuckable i am
00:52:20don't follow me
00:52:26damn it
00:52:33i guess i'm the first girl in the world to be on birth control and not even get laid
00:52:51what's the point in talking to me now you've rejected me twice
00:52:54is that your boyfriend you're ignoring
00:52:59nope
00:53:01boyfriends have sex with their girlfriends
00:53:04so i've got the hottest girl in the bar
00:53:07all to myself
00:53:11what
00:53:12you heard me
00:53:14hottest lady i've ever seen at this school
00:53:18seriously
00:53:19you're into this
00:53:21like you might want to like hook up
00:53:23hell yeah i would
00:53:25maybe we can start with a kiss
00:53:27wow i'm not unfuckable after all
00:53:29maybe Luke's the problem
00:53:31i was beginning to think nobody would take my virginity
00:53:35pause
00:53:37what did you just say
00:53:42i'm a virgin
00:53:45she's a virgin y'all
00:53:47aww cute
00:53:49excuse me
00:53:50too much work
00:53:51you're probably super clingy too
00:53:53you should just go back to your dorm sweetie
00:53:57sweetie i'm a senior
00:53:59that's even sadder
00:54:03you were just into me why are you treating me like i'm gum stuck to your shoe
00:54:07you're obviously a nice girl but i'm looking for a fun time you know you're gonna get feels and it's
00:54:14gonna get messy
00:54:14and
00:54:16bleh
00:54:17bleh
00:54:17sorry
00:54:19bleh
00:54:20i'm bleh
00:54:28i'm in this
00:54:29eighty thousand dollar dress
00:54:31and i can't even get a stupid
00:54:33horny prac guy
00:54:34to get with me
00:54:36he would probably fuck anything
00:54:38except for me apparently
00:54:42oh and luke of course luke on the other hand he's had his hands literally inside of me and i
00:54:47guess he was just so repulsed that
00:54:50that he didn't need to see more
00:54:53you know what
00:54:59sophie where the hell you been
00:55:00you're not the hospital right now bro
00:55:02oh look at me i'm a fancy ivy league doctor and i'm also hot as fuck and i just love
00:55:08to leave girls on with the orgasm pap smear two for one
00:55:13say something asshole
00:55:16can i come get you right now please
00:55:18so you can what
00:55:19not have sex
00:55:20yeah i don't think so
00:55:21i think i'll stay right here
00:55:22where the guys at least have i don't know the decency to not lead me on
00:55:27guys what guys
00:55:28did someone do something to you
00:55:29of course not
00:55:30they
00:55:31they said i was too messy
00:55:33too messy
00:55:34and too much
00:55:35and i guess that means you get a second chance
00:55:38you either fuck me
00:55:40or you lose me
00:55:43i think i'm gonna pass out
00:55:45i'm coming to get you
00:55:46keep falling on you
00:55:47alright
00:55:59so
00:55:59so
00:55:59hey wake up
00:56:06i got you
00:56:07i got you come on
00:56:07come on
00:56:22is she
00:56:27she's fine
00:56:28she's
00:56:30bottled water and two of these in the morning
00:56:32i don't know what she drank but whatever it is is gonna hit her hard
00:56:38sophie you're gonna be the death of me
00:57:01sophie you're gonna be the death of me
00:57:05i feel like shit
00:57:07you look like shit
00:57:09but like a million bucks
00:57:11so is this a gift from luke or
00:57:14everly the only thing that is gonna make this vodka tequila hangover worse is hearing his name
00:57:20he led me on
00:57:21he led me on and then left me for ted
00:57:23but luke brought you back to the
00:57:25ev i don't want to hear it
00:57:29i'm done having my time wasted
00:57:31i guess i'm just too much work as a virgin
00:57:35so i've decided
00:57:38i'm not a virgin anymore
00:57:40huh
00:57:41well virginity is like a whole construct right
00:57:44people
00:57:45guys aren't gonna stop treating me like a baby
00:57:48unless i stop acting like one
00:57:49and looking like one
00:57:53i need you to help me look slutty
00:58:01no way i'm not gonna do that
00:58:02you're not gonna help me look sexy why not
00:58:04sophie you are sexy
00:58:06i'm not slutty sexy
00:58:08guys don't go for that
00:58:10i look like a nun librarian
00:58:12i'm giving off don't fuck
00:58:14snooze fest
00:58:15boring
00:58:17sophie as your best friend
00:58:18i'm obligated to tell you that you don't have to change yourself for the right guy
00:58:22the thing is mr. right isn't doing anything wrong
00:58:29warm me up
00:58:44perfect
00:58:50having my way when i do it i just do it do it do it do it
00:58:53having my way when i do it i just do it do it do it
00:58:56having my way when i do it
00:58:58i can't do it let me know
00:59:00if you can do it let me know
00:59:04i'm the greatest
00:59:05far from basic
00:59:06lace up my aces
00:59:07isn't that that one dorky barista chick
00:59:09there's no way
00:59:10that girl's
00:59:11powerful
00:59:12yeah it is
00:59:14that's sophie tisdale
00:59:15dude the maker was actually working
00:59:18everyone's looking at you
00:59:19good i hope the news gets back to luke
00:59:21i mean more
00:59:29there he is are you gonna say something
00:59:34holy shit sophie
00:59:36no i'm just gonna make you regret everything
00:59:46thanks babe
00:59:46you can tell i'm beautiful
00:59:56and what can i get for you handsome
00:59:58a latte would be nice but uh i like what you're giving me right now
01:00:01i take all kinds of tips
01:00:03what the hell's going on here
01:00:04stop interrupting grandpa
01:00:06the fuck did you just say
01:00:08one latte
01:00:09coming right up
01:00:12and what can i get for you doctor
01:00:14sophie what is this
01:00:16you're dressed different you're acting different i don't get it
01:00:20whoops
01:00:20let me get that for you
01:00:28so did you want a coffee
01:00:29the av shining is on the house
01:00:32sophie i don't
01:00:33is this like a punishment
01:00:34i mean if it is i get it
01:00:35but it's only yourself and other guys
01:00:36it's not you
01:00:37that's really not up to you anymore dr miller
01:00:40i gave you a chance
01:00:42and besides there's someone out there who wants me and isn't gonna embarrass me in the process
01:00:45hey uh we're throwing a halloween party tonight they don't land fair you should come
01:00:52she's got plans
01:00:53she's got plans
01:00:54actually i don't
01:00:55my first frat party invite wow this whole hot girl act is actually working
01:01:01you should bring your home girl
01:01:03the guy's gonna love you
01:01:04i will see you in the house
01:01:08you're not going to bed
01:01:09newsflash you're not my boyfriend you could have been but you didn't want the baggage
01:01:13that's not true
01:01:14actually i have to go plan my outfit for tonight my very sexy very booby outfit
01:01:21go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:23go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:24go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:26go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:30go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:30go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:30go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:30go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:30go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:32go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:35go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
01:01:35go
01:01:36Sexy Minnie Mouse.
01:01:37Yeah, I think I still have the ears somewhere.
01:01:39Ew, that doesn't even sound right.
01:01:42I just found the perfect outfit to match your boyfriend's.
01:01:48Everly, not funny.
01:01:49Imagine being old-ass Luke stuck at this stupid hospital
01:01:52and he gets a text from you in this.
01:01:55If he hasn't jumped off a bridge, he definitely will.
01:01:58How pathetic is it that I'm playing mind games
01:02:00with a guy that I haven't even gone to second base with?
01:02:02Hey, whatever helps you get over him, okay?
01:02:08Red push-up bra.
01:02:09Pink.
01:02:11Red.
01:02:24Get in.
01:02:25Get Sophie's safe. Get out.
01:02:28Sophie's the only person I'm doing this for.
01:02:31Sick costume, bro.
01:02:34Right.
01:02:37Gotta have at least three chicks with you to get in, man.
01:02:42Sorry.
01:02:43Rules.
01:02:53Idiot.
01:02:57I have to get to her.
01:02:58Where is it?
01:03:02Stop being shy.
01:03:04You look hot.
01:03:07See?
01:03:10Wait, hand me your phone.
01:03:12Why?
01:03:16Because I'm taking a point five and sending it to Luke.
01:03:24No.
01:03:25Yes.
01:03:31I got a hat.
01:03:33I have to get to her.
01:03:34Where is it?
01:03:44I need to be so drunk to predict what you just did.
01:03:47He opened it immediately.
01:03:49He's so whipped.
01:03:51Welcome to the party.
01:04:06Do it off his ass.
01:04:09Woo!
01:04:11Woo!
01:04:12Woo!
01:04:13Woo!
01:04:13Hell yeah!
01:04:13What?
01:04:14Looks a little something like this.
01:04:15Looks a little bit like I can't miss.
01:04:18Ay, ay, ay.
01:04:18This is what you're talking about.
01:04:25It's just not the same when it's not him.
01:04:28Sophie!
01:04:29Sophie!
01:04:30Sophie!
01:04:31Sophie!
01:04:32Sophie!
01:04:33Sophie!
01:04:34Sophie!
01:04:36Sophie!
01:04:37Sophie!
01:04:38Woo!
01:04:39Oh, yeah!
01:04:40Woo!
01:04:44Woo!
01:04:44This girl's crazy!
01:04:47Woo!
01:04:50Woo!
01:04:51Woo!
01:04:51This girl's crazy!
01:04:54Woo!
01:04:55Woo!
01:04:56Woo!
01:04:56Yeah!
01:04:56Just give me a second, guys.
01:05:02Did he come here just to keep an eye on me?
01:05:08You're really trying to piss me off right now, aren't you?
01:05:10Actually, I'm not thinking about you at all.
01:05:13That's a lie.
01:05:14Wanna talk?
01:05:18Come on, Sophie!
01:05:19Let's play spin the bottle!
01:05:21Coming.
01:05:22My friend here's just leaving.
01:05:24Actually, I'll join.
01:05:26What?
01:05:26No.
01:05:27Don't wanna be right here!
01:05:36Who's going first?
01:05:39I'll spin.
01:05:40Do you think he's a TA?
01:05:42I hope it lands on me.
01:05:44He seems experienced.
01:05:57Fuck.
01:05:59Sophie and Luke to the closet.
01:06:02Rules of rule.
01:06:03As soon as the seven minutes are up, I want out.
01:06:20Can we talk like adults?
01:06:22Can we fuck like adults?
01:06:27You know, you dress like this makes me want a fucking right hand.
01:06:50How about another pelvic exam, Dr. Miller?
01:07:26what time's up when you just you wanted to I'm just giving you a taste of your
01:07:32medicine Luke now you'll wish you would affect me when you have the chance
01:07:55so how was it looks a little too shy for me I'm gonna spin again
01:08:13meet me so if you come on him you had your chance Luke come on Noah
01:08:31okay I've never kissed anyone before what so I'm gonna embarrass myself so
01:08:37morning you you can relax I wasn't gonna kiss you anyway really but all the
01:08:45rumors but everyone says you're free sex goddess here he says that you put your
01:08:50legs behind your head I don't even know Derek I'm sorry Noah but neither you nor
01:08:57me are losing our virginities tonight so screwed everyone in the frat knows that
01:09:03I'm a virgin and I'm the only one they're gonna kill me no they're gonna make fun
01:09:08of me and then kill me no they're gonna make fun of me to death wait I'll help you
01:09:15how
01:09:22it's awful quiet in there Noah come on virgin
01:09:28oh they're gonna call me that till they freaking graduate we don't have time just come here
01:09:34you can tell them you lost it to me really you don't care no but I'm just trying to make
01:09:41someone
01:09:41jealous you can tell them I fucked you upside down for all I care just as long as Luke overhears
01:09:51okay
01:09:51I owe you
01:09:54Noah are you in there
01:09:57oh yeah
01:10:00it's getting crazy in there
01:10:03oh yeah
01:10:05alright that's enough
01:10:09Sophie
01:10:10you open the damn door
01:10:13okay ready it's working
01:10:17Oh you really want to piss him off he deserves it
01:10:44what's the problem doctor the fuck were you doing him in with him well first I
01:10:52unzipped his pants and then I saw his cock
01:11:03liar you don't know that you know you belong to me
01:11:15I'm out here girl I'm back up in the street
01:11:22so I don't really got time to fuss and fight
01:11:26no one should do with you
01:11:29really got time to fight
01:11:31yo get out
01:11:45I need his heart
01:11:46I don't want to
01:11:51me too
01:12:07what don't tell me you're changing your mind no no I'm not changing my mind
01:12:13I'm just kicking myself can't believe I deprived myself of you for so long
01:12:19you fucking idiot
01:12:22you are
01:12:44you're gonna take that someone better be dying
01:12:49what's it code blue they are
01:12:55I'm sorry Sophie I have to go
01:13:01I've been burned too many times are we ever going to do this
01:13:04Sophie I promise you the last thing I want to do is eat
01:13:10I promise we're gonna do this we are but not in some shitty fat house you deserve better than that
01:13:20better how
01:13:24you do a passport right
01:13:29so sexy underwear track a jacket check a bikini where exactly is he taking you
01:13:37he didn't tell me
01:13:41crap he's here
01:13:44bitch you won't believe this oh my god
01:13:52no way
01:13:53this man's insane
01:13:54he's actually psycho
01:13:57on the other hand
01:13:58crazy makes for good sex
01:14:00good soldier
01:14:05don't you have like any advice for me
01:14:07he's not
01:14:08do it a bunch of times on my behalf
01:14:11it's finally happening
01:14:37you look incredible
01:14:38hmm you said airport fit
01:14:41I guess you just look delicious and everything
01:14:49this is so psychotic
01:14:51am I really worth all this
01:14:55it's the first times
01:14:59are we flying domestic or internationally today sir
01:15:03international
01:15:14look if you don't give me back my sight in the next five seconds I'm gonna lose my mind
01:15:18I'm sorry I just didn't want to run the surprise
01:15:21you ready?
01:15:27a croissant
01:15:29you flew me nine hours for some base trees
01:15:32it's a hint
01:15:34go look at the view you'll know where we are
01:15:43are you crazy? you took me to Paris?
01:15:46are you serious?
01:15:55whoa whoa whoa
01:15:57I set up an appointment at Chanel
01:15:59and then a reservation at a five star restaurant
01:16:02look
01:16:09you wanna add something to the itinerary?
01:16:11I think you should take your clothes off
01:16:15I think you should take your clothes off
01:16:18yeah that's
01:16:18I think that's a good idea
01:16:35it's finally happening
01:16:38finally
01:17:00I don't understand why you can just set up an appointment with me at the clinic
01:17:03you know it was weird when you were my customer
01:17:05and it's even weirder now that you're my boyfriend
01:17:07is it weird that even in something so basic like this you still turn me on?
01:17:18get away from my patient Dr. Miller?
01:17:21she's all yours
01:17:23Ms. Tisdale
01:17:24I see here that the purpose of your visit is to refill your birth control prescription
01:17:28yes
01:17:29we performed a routine analysis of your urine sample
01:17:33um
01:17:33I regret to inform you Sophie
01:17:36we're unable to fulfill your request
01:17:40Laureen don't tell me
01:17:42I'm sorry?
01:17:45Sophie you're pregnant
01:17:49I'll give you two a moment
01:17:57I'm sorry
01:17:58I don't know how this happened I was trying to be safe
01:18:03wow
01:18:05what do you think the odds are?
01:18:071.6 in 100
01:18:09you probably hate me
01:18:12as long as you're not planning on ghosting me I'm actually pretty excited
01:18:17graduations in a month and
01:18:19I mean we'll be able to do it together
01:18:29Sophie I'm all in
01:18:30my home
01:18:31but I'm Jesus
01:18:36the team
01:18:37I have helped me
01:18:38do I don't feel Teled
01:18:38help me
01:18:39it's like
01:18:41it's really a lot of people
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