- 28 minutes ago
My Dad Is Poseidon
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug! Your launch today, Beach!
00:46and then I'm gonna try, Beach!
00:54You guys are gonna try!
00:54Yeah!
01:00Filthy scavengers, when Lord Poseidon ruled the deep, you sky rats swore never to breach the surface.
01:10Poseidon? Fish food ages ago.
01:37Sire, Zeus' people just breached your outer barrier.
01:41I'm retired. Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:47Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console? I'm going to go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire! You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else. Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:28My king! Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:54What did you do? Turn me back right now!
03:01Sire! The entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command. Lead us against Olympus. We beg you!
03:08Zeus' brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years. I'm retired. I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:20Screw power struggles. Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:30Fight!
03:31Fight!
03:37Get your hands off me, creep!
03:39Sorry. I didn't mean to...
03:45Wait. Pointy ears. A dryage? What's a forest nintz doing here?
03:54He's just a regular human. A total nerd. Damn it. The aphrodisiant's kicking in.
04:09You're burning up down here. Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged. This whole thing is Dylan's sick setup. If I don't mate someone before the timer runs out,
04:21I die. I really need this guy.
04:28Goddamn. You really know how to flip my switch.
04:36You really know how to flip my switch.
04:40I need more. A lot more.
04:50Don't stop. Harder. Squeeze me tighter.
05:01What the hell did you do to me last night?
05:05Hey. I put in a lot of work. Don't tell me you forgot.
05:09Leora! I know you're in there! Nowhere left to run!
05:14Damn it. He tracked me.
05:28Leora.
05:29You're my fiancé. You belong with me. Come home.
05:33Get away! Dylan!
05:37As the leader of the satyr, you actually drugged me.
05:44Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt?
05:47You slept with someone?
05:50WHO SCREWED UP MY PLAN?!
05:54Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her.
05:57Newsflash, tough guy. Real men don't need tricks.
06:00You talking to the boss like that, punk?!
06:08So you're the loser who ruined everything?
06:10You actually fucked this beach bomb shut in?!
06:20Touch him again and you'll regret it!
06:22Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value. Can't push too hard yet.
06:28I won't kill him.
06:30But you're coming with me, Leora.
06:34Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:43Forget today ever happened. Go back to your life.
06:59Seriously? Can't I just play my game for once?
07:12Those assholes are back already.
07:14What are you talking about?!
07:21Hey, pencil neck! I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:24Either get the hell out of this water, or kneel and call me daddy.
07:28Dylan who? Speak up, man. My ears are shot.
07:30Keep acting tough!
07:32Jax can stomp boulders to dust!
07:34Even Nereus' sea folk give him a wide burn!
07:49You asked for this.
08:03You one-shotted pants-toppin' orcer?! Who the hell are you?!
08:15You one-shotted pants-toppin' orcer?! Who the hell are you?!
08:17Asshole. Using my divine power to barbecue. Hope you die alone and miserable.
08:24What are you whining about?
08:26Nothing!
08:27Beats too low. Sprinkle this and baste it again.
08:35Molly? Gods make heroes with it, you seasoned food?
08:41Huh. Tide barrier just got tripped.
08:50Mommy, is daddy stationed way out in the deep sea? Is that why he never comes to see me?
08:55Yeah, baby. But he retired recently. We're gonna find him now.
09:09I'm badly wounded. I don't have much time. Find Lily's real father. Leave her with him.
09:16I just hope you two can live in peace.
09:20Far away from those bastards on Mount Olympus.
09:36There it is!
09:44Liara's wounded bad. Drag them both back to the Dillon. Lifetime of easy living.
09:54What the hell was that?
09:57Nothing. Just swapped a bug.
10:02That girl from five years ago. You came looking for me?
10:06Lily?
10:07She's your daughter.
10:09We need you now.
10:12So you're my dad? You're actually pretty handsome.
10:15This aura? She's got my blood.
10:24Who did this?
10:26Don't worry about it. Just keep Lily safe.
10:33Mommy! Mommy!
10:36Mommy!
10:37Mommy!
10:38Mommy!
10:40Mommy!
10:52It's too late, boss. Her heartbeat's fading fast.
11:03Mommy!
11:04Mommy!
11:09Somebody help me!
11:24Give me a name, Leora.
11:26Who did this?
11:27I'm going to tear them apart.
11:31It was...
11:52Your father sold you to me a long time ago.
11:55You're my fiancé, my property.
11:57You filthy whore.
11:59Spread your legs for some stray dog!
12:04But at least your bloodline is still worth something.
12:12No, let go!
12:15With nymph blood in my veins, even Olympus will bow to me.
12:27I got careless.
12:30Diving near a shipwreck.
12:31My fault.
12:32Shipwreck?
12:34Those cuts are surgical, Leora.
12:36Someone did this to you.
12:41You're just a regular guy.
12:43Stay out of it.
12:44Boss, soup's ready.
12:52If I don't make it, promise me you'll take care of Lily.
12:57She's all we have left.
12:59She's safe.
13:00Now drink.
13:03Soup isn't going to fix this, Jack.
13:11Jack, you...
13:14Ambrosia residue?
13:16Golden apple sap?
13:17I studied this in grad's time.
13:19Greek meth said it could raise the dead for mortals.
13:22Where the hell did you get this?
13:25More.
13:26Try it.
13:37These ingredients, where did you get them?
13:45It's my first time meeting Daddy.
13:47I gotta find the prettiest shell for him.
14:13What a lively little snack.
14:26I just fished this stuff out of the bay.
14:29You want more?
14:30I've got a ton of it laying around.
14:32This guy's luck is insane.
14:36A random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods?
14:41Is this coast a secret Olympian vault?
14:44You're safe here, Liria.
14:48We've got a kid together now.
14:51I'm not letting anything touch.
14:53You or Lily.
14:56Jack, I'm grateful, but I...
14:58Daddy, help!
15:02Something's trying to eat me!
15:05Lily's in trouble!
15:12I...
15:13I'm not tasty.
15:14My mommy and daddy are super strong.
15:17Please don't eat me!
15:22Divine power runs through this girl.
15:26Devour you.
15:27And I might even claim the Sea King's throne.
15:33Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
15:46Whew!
15:48Hu!
15:51Hu!
15:53Put your hand away!
16:02Probably aren't as backward of a magic.
16:04Wow!
16:04How this is all!
16:05You disgusting freak!
16:06What do you think you're doing to my daughter?
16:09Mommy!
16:10Yes?
16:11I've got you, baby.
16:14Touch my kid again, and I'll rip her head off your shoulders!
16:19Ha! You ruined my meal?
16:23Wait. The baby mama herself. Perfect.
16:32Perfect. Two courses for the price of one!
16:41You bitch!
16:48Jack, take Lily and run. Go!
16:55Run from the Lycian Hydro, you pathetic little insects.
17:07You...Posei?
17:09That kid's his. No wonder the power's so pure.
17:13That's Poseidon's bloodline. If I stay, I'm dead.
17:24What the hell just happened? It ran?
17:27Damn, Leoya. Your powers are badass. You straight up scared the monster off.
17:33Me? No way. Even at full strength, I couldn't take that thing. I'm still recovering.
17:39Wait. Maybe it sensed the Guardian of the Sea Vault?
17:44Whatever. Let's get home. That thing might circle back.
17:51About that monster.
17:57Failed at the perfect time? Figures. He's just a regular guy, after all.
18:03Failed at the perfect time.
18:06Failed at the perfect time.
18:09Failed at the perfect time.
18:14Failed at the perfect time.
18:22Failed at the perfect time.
18:23Failed at the perfect time.
18:23Failed at the perfect time.
18:23Failed at the perfect time.
18:23Failed at the perfect time.
18:24Failed at the perfect time.
18:25Failed at the perfect time.
18:25Failed at the perfect time.
18:28Failed at the perfect time.
18:42my liege have mercy i didn't know she was your die swear it i please spare my life
18:48no problem thank you my lord thank you for your mercy try to remember that in your next life
19:07enjoying the show
19:17my king we had nothing to do with the hydro we swear listen to me if any of you take
19:24one step
19:24near my daughter again i will skin you alive now get the fuck out of my sight yes yes my
19:32leash
19:44my love since you refuse to tell me who did this to you i'll just have to dig up the
19:49truth myself
19:58that wild god pan's always pulling power grabs but poseidon guy's long gone probably fish food in
20:06some trench right sea god myth ancient history wanna bet there ain't no sea king anymore
20:23the world's the same as ever the dead are louder than the living who the hell are you
20:30you're in hades territory asshole
20:45poseidon
20:54is hades still breathing if he is tell him to get his ass out here
21:02who the fuck is tearing up my domain
21:10i don't have time for this i'm not wasting it on you i need a background check
21:19you know who i am hades is ace you crash my spot you die here
21:47little fish
21:56headed staff one shot the sea king he's real
22:03hades you hiding come out or this whole place turns into driftwood
22:08one two
22:15thank the fates the boss is here
22:22boss this bum
22:30you idiot piss off the lord of the oceans and we all drown you're done get out in front
22:37of poseidon your ants i'm saving your worthless heights
22:45my lord is this handling satisfactory i'm not here for fun dig up everything on that leora and her daughter
22:57understood i'll mobilize every team right now you have three days i'll be back
23:05everyone drop what you're doing full sweep on the leora and child every resource every contact
23:12now tell them poseidon's back
23:22poseidon's back let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point
23:34dylan wants the woman dead kid comes with us alive she's still hurt easy pickets
23:39let's move
23:52we'll make a nice stew surprise daddy for lunch
24:02a forest nymph playing happy home mater pathetic
24:09who are you dylan's orders come quietly to the stronghold or i drag your corpse back
24:17mommy who's the ugly goat man hand over the kid
24:30stay away from my daughter don't you dare touch her
24:49mommy you're bleeding this forest is locked down
24:54surrender now i'll go with you on one condition let my daughter go
25:00no mommy i'm not leaving you
25:14kids mine you die
25:19you poisoned me
25:23my poison fog the more you fight the faster it rots you from the inside give up
25:31you've gone too far even if i die today i'm not letting you win
25:38you're wounded poisoned done the kids coming with me
25:47don't touch her come at me feisty one dylan wants you dead but first i'm gonna have some fun
26:03such a pretty face all mine now
26:10let my mommy go you bastard
26:19lilly lilly lilly run get out of here
26:27serve me well and i might let her run a little longer
26:37lilly
26:50lilly
26:51your hands off her
26:59you touch my woman you're a dead man
27:09jack what the hell just happened
27:14you okay babe so you're the boyfriend too bad i'll snap every bone in your body with one hand
27:24you
27:37jack keep lilly safe long as i'm here you don't lose shut up and go now
27:55if i pull this vine the whole cliff goes with us demon
28:00run all you want my pack tears you both apart
28:15you
28:17you
28:19no
28:20no
28:21no
28:21no
28:21no
28:24no
28:30no
28:53daddy don't leave mommy i don't want to lose her
28:57shh lily don't cry daddy promises mommy's gonna be okay we're going back for her right now
29:09hand over the kid i'll make your death quick
29:20lily turn around and cover your ears okay
29:26daddy's gonna do a little magic trick okay
29:32you are the best
29:42some nobody dare stare me down you're asking to die
29:48you're not human who the hell are you my daughter's here so i'm keeping it clean disappear
30:14okay lily you can turn around now
30:21daddy what happened to the bad guy he got so dazzled by how cute you are he just passed out
30:32lily stay right here inside this circle don't move daddy's gonna help mommy beat the bad guys
30:43daddy be careful don't worry lily no one's ever beaten your dad
30:56that poison's eating you alive little nymph how much longer you got let me have my fun first
31:04so what i'll drag you to hell with me before i die
31:19damn you take a hit well let's enjoy this body then i'll turn you into my eternal trophy
31:27for jack and lily even if i die i'm taking this beast down with me
31:33no signal you trying to hog the glory more coming killing one won't save jack and lily
31:39no choice i'm taking them down with me this the woman dylan wants where the kid
31:46some guy took the brat useless grab her first then we hunt the child
31:56just let jack and lily be safe
32:02you all want to come at once then die together pick your graves
32:17why did you come back where's lily
32:24lily's safe don't push yourself
32:28so this is the woman's secret lover her taste is trash
32:33beg now and maybe i'll leave your corpses in one piece
32:38refuse and you'll be screaming end it fast
32:44you in our eyes you're not even an enemy just weeds to be crushed under feet
32:51just hold on a little longer jack means more to me than anything i won't let him get hurt
33:06you want my husband step over my corpse first in a hurry to die fine i'll oblige
33:43you're half dead already
33:45how the hell did you knock me back the sea is sinking those are poseidon's warriors
33:53this can't be
34:19ancient ekathra the coastal legend monster why would she be here
34:27our boss has real backing he summoned three of poseidon's elite guards
34:32no matter how strong you are kneel and beg they're coming for us
34:37we're finished don't worry darling things might turn around lira veil has been captured
34:43now we await the sea king's warriors to execute this peasant
34:48they're here for me jack stay behind me with me here no one touches you
34:54stop saying that jack look around we're surrounded we could actually die here
35:05my lords let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson
35:11you worthless creature you shouldn't even exist where i stand
35:25who dares show such insolence before the lord of the sea
35:30my lords let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson
35:35you
35:35you
35:35You
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