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The Crown S02E05 [Full Movie] [Must See]Full EP - Full
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00:00:08The Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:11Here, attach the Queen!
00:00:14Queen's Critic!
00:00:17Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:19Come on, Jack.
00:00:21I'll take one of each this morning, please.
00:00:24And a sundae as well.
00:00:27That's right.
00:00:30Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:32Here, attach the Queen!
00:00:50No, I shan't have anything.
00:00:53Sorry, dear.
00:01:21I think it's right.
00:01:23Do you?
00:01:24Yeah.
00:01:25Now I think about it, she is a bit priggish.
00:01:28I'm going to push.
00:01:28I know, Mr. King.
00:01:29I'm not sitting at the edge.
00:01:29Ha ha ha!
00:01:33I'm not standing there.
00:01:35I've been sitting there, that's not me.
00:01:38I'm not standing there.
00:01:47I have to look at that, this is an awesome.
00:01:57Come on, then. That's it.
00:02:01Not answering them.
00:02:03Yes.
00:02:07Get straight up!
00:02:22Come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:02:53Really?
00:02:55Well, I shall certainly let Her Majesty know.
00:03:04Time and tide, Mr. Conservator.
00:03:07Witt or no, my own private secretary.
00:03:09Good afternoon to you.
00:03:11Good afternoon, sir.
00:03:24What is it now?
00:03:27Lord Altrincham has been struck.
00:03:33Dumb, I hope.
00:03:35Better than that, ma'am. In the face. Quite forcefully, I'm told.
00:03:42By whom? Which gallant and chivalrous individual?
00:03:46I'm afraid we don't have those details yet.
00:03:50The incident occurred outside the television studios
00:03:53and the perpetrator is now on his way to the Bow Street police station
00:03:58where we expect him to be released without charge.
00:04:02Well, how very gratifying.
00:04:05Yes. Very.
00:04:08Which television studios?
00:04:10The Independent Television Network studios, ma'am,
00:04:13where Altrincham had just recorded an interview.
00:04:17For what?
00:04:19A programme appropriately called Impact.
00:04:23When will it air?
00:04:25Tonight, ma'am.
00:04:27Nine o'clock.
00:04:47Tell the people.
00:04:48Tell them on television.
00:04:50Questions in the public mind.
00:04:53Answered by people in the public eye.
00:04:56This is Impact.
00:04:58The programme that examines the most important matters of the moment.
00:05:02And which to debate to you at home.
00:05:05Sorry I'm late.
00:05:05Robin Day puts the question.
00:05:07It's just starting.
00:05:10Tonight, we have a man who, because of press activity in recent days,
00:05:14probably needs no introduction.
00:05:15Lord Altrincham.
00:05:16In the space of just a few days,
00:05:18his inflammatory and deeply personal attacks on the Queen,
00:05:21in a periodical of which he is also publisher,
00:05:24have become the most pressing issue of the day,
00:05:26and caused something of a constitutional crisis.
00:05:29So, I'd like to begin by asking Lord Altrincham a simple question.
00:05:33But, she's our head of state,
00:05:36loved, respected, and admired throughout the world.
00:05:39So, why do you hate her so very much?
00:06:10The End
00:07:14It's far too long.
00:07:15People are beginning to notice.
00:07:17And that is why the...
00:07:22And that is why the ending of doctrinal tests
00:07:25and the introduction of women priests
00:07:26is the only viable solution for saving the Church of England,
00:07:30an institution that is becoming increasingly outdated
00:07:33and irrelevant hour by hour.
00:07:36Who's got a thousand words for me on that?
00:07:38Hello, Patricia.
00:07:40Would anyone like some toffee?
00:07:41Oh, bring it over here, Patricia darling.
00:07:49Oh, divine.
00:07:51Much like Patricia herself.
00:07:53Come, come, my dear.
00:07:54Be seated.
00:07:58Right.
00:07:59If no-one's keen on the Church story,
00:08:02I can knock something up.
00:08:03Now, a piece on reforming the House of Laws.
00:08:06Dermot.
00:08:07You were going to look at that for me, weren't you?
00:08:08Something nutty about it.
00:08:10Mmm.
00:08:11Molasses.
00:08:11And Europe.
00:08:13We need to work out our official stance.
00:08:15Are we for or against a single European market?
00:08:21Are we in or out?
00:08:25Toffee, John.
00:08:27Oh, you must try some, John.
00:08:29Afraid I have a thing against toffee.
00:08:34Why didn't I know that?
00:08:37You can't know everything about me.
00:08:42It's not the taste I object to so much.
00:08:45I just have painful memories.
00:08:49As a child.
00:08:51Or sitting in a dentist's chair
00:08:54because of a piece of toffee I ate.
00:08:58Oh.
00:09:01Oh, Lord.
00:09:03Not again.
00:09:05Sorry.
00:09:07Have I...
00:09:08Sorry?
00:09:10Perhaps you don't.
00:09:11Understand
00:09:12that on your steadfastness
00:09:14and ability
00:09:15to withstand
00:09:16the fatigue
00:09:17of dull, repetitive work
00:09:20and your great courage
00:09:22in meeting
00:09:22constant,
00:09:24small adversities
00:09:25depend in great measure
00:09:28the happiness
00:09:29and prosperity
00:09:30of the community
00:09:31as a whole.
00:09:38the upward course
00:09:40of a nation's history
00:09:41is due
00:09:42in the long run
00:09:44to the soundness
00:09:45of heart
00:09:46of its average
00:09:47men and women.
00:09:51Um...
00:09:53working men and women?
00:09:57It has a touch
00:09:58more dignity.
00:09:59Yeah.
00:10:06No, I think average
00:10:07is fine.
00:10:22what you might be interested
00:10:24to see this.
00:10:25It's a draft
00:10:26of a speech
00:10:27the Queen's going to give
00:10:28in a week's time.
00:10:30I don't mind telling you
00:10:31I felt a bit uneasy
00:10:32about it.
00:10:49Sir, forgive me
00:10:52if I'm interfering
00:10:53beyond my station.
00:11:01Tommy.
00:11:02Arthur.
00:11:04You were about
00:11:05to interfere
00:11:05beyond your station.
00:11:09It's concerning
00:11:10the speech
00:11:11the Queen is due
00:11:12to give next week
00:11:13at the Jagger car factory.
00:11:16What about it?
00:11:17I was just
00:11:19wondering
00:11:19if you were happy
00:11:20with it.
00:11:24Well, obviously
00:11:25I'm happy with it.
00:11:26Or I wouldn't have
00:11:27shown it to Her Majesty
00:11:29for the approval
00:11:30which she immediately gave.
00:11:33Did the Queen read it?
00:11:34She didn't need to.
00:11:36She merely asked
00:11:37if I was happy.
00:11:39I replied in the affirmative.
00:11:41And that was
00:11:43good enough
00:11:43for Her Majesty.
00:11:46But I can see
00:11:48that the really
00:11:49important question is
00:11:50is it good enough
00:11:52for Colonel
00:11:53Charteries?
00:11:55You don't think
00:11:57it strikes
00:11:58the wrong tone?
00:12:00In which sense?
00:12:02In its
00:12:05paternalism.
00:12:07May I?
00:12:12Sir?
00:12:13I suppose
00:12:14if I
00:12:15had a concern
00:12:18it would be
00:12:19it would be
00:12:19that post-Suez
00:12:20in this new
00:12:22climate
00:12:23in this new
00:12:24Britain
00:12:26the tone
00:12:27of the speech
00:12:28is
00:12:30somewhat
00:12:30somewhat what?
00:12:36Old-fashioned.
00:12:39And would leave
00:12:40her open
00:12:41to attack
00:12:41from whom?
00:12:42the newspapers.
00:12:46People.
00:12:47If I had a shilling
00:12:48for every time
00:12:49someone of a
00:12:50progressive or
00:12:51liberal disposition
00:12:52had warned
00:12:52needlessly
00:12:53of a popular
00:12:54attack against
00:12:55the crown
00:12:55I'd be a rich man.
00:12:57The British people
00:12:58adore their sovereign.
00:13:00It is what
00:13:00constitutes
00:13:01indeed defines
00:13:02being British.
00:13:04Now the worst
00:13:05I've ever encountered
00:13:06is apathy
00:13:07where people
00:13:08simply accept
00:13:09the king or queen
00:13:10as they accept
00:13:10the sky above
00:13:11their heads.
00:13:12But it's a long
00:13:13way from apathy
00:13:14to insurrection.
00:13:16Now as regards
00:13:17the newspapers
00:13:18the crown can count
00:13:19on their support
00:13:20for two reasons.
00:13:21First
00:13:21there is nothing
00:13:22to attack.
00:13:24That's the advantage
00:13:24of a constitutional
00:13:25monarchy.
00:13:26They have no power
00:13:28so there's nothing
00:13:28to complain about.
00:13:29And even
00:13:30if they wanted to
00:13:31they'd always let
00:13:32us know first.
00:13:34The palace would
00:13:34then threaten them
00:13:35with a boycott
00:13:36on the next
00:13:36major royal event
00:13:37causing the newspapers
00:13:39immediately
00:13:40to back down
00:13:40because the very
00:13:42people you fear
00:13:43will hate
00:13:44the queen
00:13:45and the same ones
00:13:46who buy copies
00:13:47in their millions.
00:13:49Why?
00:13:50Because they love her.
00:13:55So I'm
00:13:56worrying unnecessarily.
00:13:58Martin
00:13:59I shall leave
00:14:01the drawing of that
00:14:02inescapable conclusion
00:14:03to you.
00:14:22I'm going to take it
00:14:23in a little
00:14:23shorter, ma'am
00:14:24and rounder
00:14:25at the back.
00:14:26Lovely.
00:14:28You
00:14:29You
00:14:29You
00:14:30You
00:14:30You
00:14:32You
00:14:32You
00:14:34You
00:15:01CHOIR SINGS
00:15:32CHOIR SINGS
00:15:43I thought you were hoping for more children from me.
00:15:49I am.
00:15:52Why on earth would you do something like that to your hair?
00:15:56What's wrong with it?
00:15:59I thought it was tidy and sensible.
00:16:02Adjectives to stir the loins?
00:16:05Apparently it's very animoge.
00:16:07All the regimental wives are wearing their hair like this now.
00:16:10Really? Yes.
00:16:11It's certainly very practical.
00:16:14And should you ever feel compelled to ride a motorcycle, it could always double as a helmet.
00:16:20Well, I like it.
00:16:25I have nothing against it, Pastor.
00:16:27Stop it.
00:16:28She won't provide ample protection against any falling masonry.
00:16:37But if enlarging the family and enticing your husband to procreate is the goal...
00:16:43It is.
00:16:44Then you might take a look at Jane Mansfield.
00:16:48Or Rita Hayworth.
00:16:51Oh, we do.
00:17:17Welcome, Your Majesty.
00:17:21Elliot.
00:17:23Elliot.
00:17:24It's very, very spacious.
00:17:27Is this our research and development area?
00:17:29No.
00:17:30No, it's not.
00:17:30May I introduce you, ma'am, to Nigel Willoughby, who sketches all of our prototypes?
00:17:36You studied drawing, did you?
00:17:38Very good, sir.
00:17:40And that's a chef.
00:17:41Yes, indeed.
00:17:42A finished MK1, Your Majesty.
00:17:45Ah, nice.
00:17:46Lovely.
00:17:46With top speeds of over 100 miles per hour.
00:17:51Quite the thing.
00:17:52I've always been interested in the red leather.
00:17:54Horse.
00:17:55Is it horse or cow?
00:17:57Hello.
00:17:57Hello.
00:18:10I wish first to express to you my very great pleasure at being here today.
00:18:18My husband and I have been most profoundly moved by your hospitable welcome and would like
00:18:25you to know how very grateful we are to you all for the work that you do.
00:18:32We understand that in the turbulence of this anxious and active world, many of you are leading uneventful lonely lives,
00:18:43where dreariness is the enemy.
00:18:48Perhaps you don't understand that on your steadfastness and ability to withstand the fatigue of dull, repetitive work depend in
00:19:00great measure the happiness and prosperity of the community as a whole.
00:19:07The upward course of a nation's history is due, in the long run, to the soundness of heart of its
00:19:15average men and women.
00:19:18May you be proud to remember how much depends on you, and that even when your life seems most monotonous,
00:19:26what you do is always of real value and importance to your fellow.
00:19:34Let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:37Let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:38Let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:39Come on everybody, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:42Come on everybody, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:42Hello, George.
00:19:44Good evening, Richard.
00:19:46News Corical.
00:19:48Evening, Richard.
00:19:55Ah, I need a favour, some typing.
00:19:57Oh, you're going home.
00:19:59I don't need to be.
00:20:05I've just heard a ridiculous speech by the Queen, and I want to write an immediate response.
00:20:12I'll find someone else.
00:20:13No, no, it's no trouble.
00:20:15I had nothing else planned.
00:20:26You're welcome.
00:20:29You're welcome.
00:20:30You're welcome.
00:20:46I've had another thought.
00:20:47Super.
00:20:49A rather heretical thought.
00:20:51I got the idea from something Walter Badgett said about the first duty of royalty being to inspire.
00:20:57a private men.
00:29:32How do you do.
00:29:33How do you do?
00:29:33How do you do?
00:29:33How do you do?
00:29:33Shall we?
00:29:34Yes.
00:29:34This way.
00:29:35Thank you for coming.
00:29:36not at all.
00:29:37I'm not at all.
00:29:37How long.
00:29:37How long do we have until we start?
00:29:39Well, we'll put them to make up quickly.
00:29:40We should make start.
00:29:43Just here.
00:29:44Just here, if you will.
00:29:45All right.
00:29:48Let myself to water.
00:29:50Shouldn't be too long.
00:29:53All good.
00:29:54All good.
00:29:55All good.
00:29:55All good.
00:29:59He's standing by, sir.
00:30:00He's prepared.
00:30:01He's ready.
00:30:01Stand by.
00:30:05He's ready.
00:30:12Can we tell him how all this works?
00:30:15Recording now.
00:30:16Transmission tonight.
00:30:18Yes.
00:30:20Five, four, three...
00:30:25Tonight we have a man who, because of press activity in recent days,
00:30:29probably needs no introduction, Lord Altrincham.
00:30:32In the space of just a few days, his inflammatory and deeply personal attacks on the Queen,
00:30:37in a periodical of which he is also publisher,
00:30:40have become the most pressing issue of the day
00:30:42and caused something of a constitutional crisis.
00:30:45So, I'd like to begin by asking Lord Altrincham a simple question.
00:30:50She's our Head of State, loved, respected and admired around the world,
00:30:54so why do you hate her so very much?
00:30:57I... I don't.
00:30:59Then why criticise her like this?
00:31:02That's like asking an art critic why he criticises art.
00:31:06I'm a passionate monarchist who believes constitutional monarchy is Britain's greatest invention.
00:31:11Do you, indeed?
00:31:12Yes, I do.
00:31:14I believe that monarchy provides clarity.
00:31:16A symbolic head of state transcending the self-serving interests
00:31:21of the egocentric and self-motivated politicians who go in and out of office,
00:31:27who, as King Lear wonderfully says, ebb and flow by the moon.
00:31:32But when working at its best, monarchy can rise above such matters and unify a society.
00:31:37It can set the tone and become the embodiment of the nation, of national character.
00:31:42But the problem is, at the moment, it's not doing that.
00:31:46It's doing very little right, as far as you're concerned.
00:31:48No, that's not true.
00:31:49You would like to see Her Majesty endowed with superhuman powers.
00:31:53It's not superhuman to be a little spontaneous.
00:31:55Judging from your article, you'd like the Queen to have the qualities of a wit.
00:32:00You'd like her to be a better orator, a TV personality, in addition to being a diligent, dutiful and devoted
00:32:07monarch and a mother.
00:32:08All I'm suggesting is that in her public speeches and in her appearances, she should be more, uh, natural.
00:32:15Her style of speaking is, quite frankly, a pain in the neck.
00:32:20She sounds strangled.
00:32:23I had the misfortune of hearing one of the Queen's speeches in a dental waiting room recently.
00:32:29I was horrified by the indifference and inertia with which the speech was greeted.
00:32:34But you'd accept that being Queen and Head of the Church of England is not an easy job, or a
00:32:40simple one, if you'll forgive me.
00:32:41It's, uh, it's arguably a harder job than editing a small periodical.
00:32:46No, I quite agree. Her Majesty is a seemingly impossible task.
00:32:50She has to be ordinary and extraordinary, touched by divinity and yet one of us.
00:32:55But being ordinary doesn't have to mean bland, or ineffectual, or forgettable.
00:33:02And against whom do you lay the main charge? Her courtiers?
00:33:06Well, in the end, if the court is wrong, if the set-up is wrong, you have no choice but
00:33:11to criticise the boss.
00:33:12The Queen?
00:33:13Yes. Because only the boss can get rid of the bad servants.
00:33:18She hires them. She alone can fire them.
00:33:21Now, they may be bad. I believe some of them at the moment are. They're quite dreadful.
00:33:26But it is her responsibility. It's not theirs. In the sense that they're just hired hands.
00:33:32And so the personal attack on the monarch continues.
00:33:36Let me just say this. To criticise the monarchy, to criticise Her Majesty, personally, gives me no satisfaction.
00:33:44But we have to remember that since the Second World War, since Suez, Britain has changed beyond recognition.
00:33:51And yet the monarchy continues its pre-war routines as though nothing has happened.
00:33:56Now, I believe it would serve the Queen and her courtiers well to remember that until recently, monarchies were the
00:34:02rule, and republics the exception.
00:34:04But today, republics are the rule, and monarchies very much the exception.
00:34:14Lord Altringham, I have to terminate the interview. I'm obliged to you for answering my questions.
00:34:19Next week, at the same time, there will be another edition of Impact. Good night.
00:34:25That went very well.
00:34:34Thank you again, Lord Altringham.
00:34:35Good afternoon. Thank you.
00:34:36Good day.
00:34:45I was using this carrier in real life, and I, er...
00:34:48Lord Altringham.
00:34:50Yes.
00:34:52You traitor!
00:35:00Congratulations.
00:35:02Well done.
00:35:03Last and white?
00:35:04Well done.
00:35:05Something stronger.
00:35:06What about a brandy?
00:35:08Why not?
00:35:09Well done.
00:35:14Well done.
00:35:16Well done.
00:35:16Well done.
00:35:16Well done.
00:35:16Be calm.
00:35:18Man of the hour, really.
00:35:21Man of the hour, really.
00:35:31Your Majesty.
00:35:32Yes, what is it, Michael?
00:35:35There have been some reactions in the newspapers to last night's television interviews.
00:35:40And to the assault upon Lord Altringham, and I'm afraid it's not quite as we'd hoped.
00:35:49Why not?
00:35:51Um, well, the man that struck Altringham, it turns out, is a member of the extreme right League of Empire
00:35:59Loyalists,
00:36:00which is a pressure group that campaigns against the dissolution of the empire, and has a clear doctrine of English
00:36:09racial supremacy.
00:36:10Oh dear.
00:36:11And it seems that most people have decided, having watched Altringham on television, that he is eminently reasonable.
00:36:25Now, almost half the country appears to agree with his sentiments, and there are new polls to support this.
00:36:34Letters to the Daily Mirror are running at four to one in Altringham's favour.
00:36:39And even the normally conservative Daily Mail changed its tune this morning.
00:36:48Um, in addition, and this I believe reflects on his growing concern at some of the telephone calls that he
00:36:56has been receiving,
00:36:58the Prime Minister suggested that he come up a week earlier than planned in order to discuss it all with
00:37:06you in person.
00:37:08Goodness.
00:37:09A constitutional crisis.
00:37:13Well, I hope you're going to apologise to Mr Macmillan too.
00:37:16No.
00:37:17You're not going to deny that this hell mess springs from a badly written speech which I gave unquestioningly because
00:37:22I trusted you.
00:37:25Perhaps Lord Altringham is right. Perhaps I should surround myself with younger, more dynamic people with one foot in the
00:37:30real world.
00:37:35Yes.
00:37:49Yes, ma'am.
00:38:01And you believe it's now a government measure?
00:38:04I do, ma'am.
00:38:06Ambassadors from all around the world
00:38:08have been calling me, concerned.
00:38:12Her Majesty will hardly need reminding
00:38:14a great many other countries have overthrown their monarchies
00:38:18and become republics in recent years.
00:38:22Egypt, Bulgaria, Italy, Tunisia only last month.
00:38:26Of course, we're not at that point, not at a red light.
00:38:31We're not even at an amber, but we'd hate it to become amber.
00:38:38And so it is my view, the government's view,
00:38:41that it would be wise to contain this as soon as possible.
00:38:44And do what?
00:38:46The obvious thing.
00:38:49Altering them is a fire which needs to be put out.
00:39:02I've got you!
00:39:18I've got you!
00:39:29I've got you!
00:39:30a movie called Charteris.
00:39:32To meet.
00:39:34I looked him up.
00:39:36He used to be her principal private secretary.
00:39:40Well, there you are!
00:39:42Before the King died.
00:39:45When she was princess.
00:39:48And now?
00:39:50He's assistant private secretary.
00:39:54So, not quite a pawn, but certainly not a bishop or knight either.
00:39:59Go.
00:40:01Go in order to be fobbed off.
00:40:03Go in the spirit of openness and wanting to work together.
00:40:06If they wanted to work together, they would have sent someone higher up.
00:40:09Go.
00:40:11All right.
00:40:13And take a list of suggestions, recommendations.
00:40:18Don't go empty-handed.
00:40:26Not yet.
00:40:28John!
00:40:28Your tooth!
00:40:29John!
00:40:31Sorry.
00:41:01I'm coming, sir.
00:41:03Sorry.
00:41:03Goodbye, sir.
00:41:06Hang on.
00:41:08Goodbye, bitch.
00:41:10Come here, please.
00:41:12You are lit.
00:41:13You are lit.
00:41:15You are lit!
00:41:19You are lit.
00:41:20You are lit.
00:41:22You are lit.
00:41:25You are lit.ın
00:41:33Broad Ortingham?
00:41:35Yes.
00:41:36This way, please.
00:42:05Good to know I'm seeing the top man.
00:42:11In one sense.
00:42:20Here we are, Lord Ortingham. Colonel Charteris will be with you shortly.
00:42:28Sir.
00:42:52I see we have... something in common.
00:42:58And what would that be?
00:43:05Your Majesty.
00:43:10I was referring to the photos of Eton and Sandhurst.
00:43:16Which you attended to, I gather.
00:43:19Yes.
00:43:20Going on to become an officer of the guards at both St. James's Palace and Windsor Castle.
00:43:27Doesn't quite fit the profile of a revolutionary.
00:43:31It's the assumption everyone has made.
00:43:33Because I dare offer an opinion, I must be trying to burn the temple down.
00:43:38On the contrary, I'm trying to make sure it survives.
00:43:42Well, those of us in the temple are very much looking forward to hearing what it is we must do
00:43:47in order to survive.
00:43:50Shall we begin?
00:43:52Shall we begin?
00:43:54Is my voice all right?
00:43:57You can understand me?
00:44:01Yes.
00:44:02Not too strangled?
00:44:03Not too much of pain in the neck?
00:44:06No.
00:44:07Good.
00:44:10So, what is it that you'd have me change?
00:44:13It's not so much what I'd have you change.
00:44:16Just an acknowledgement that it has changed.
00:44:20What?
00:44:22Everything.
00:44:25And to prepare yourself for the fact we now live in a time where people like me...
00:44:32Can say exactly what they think?
00:44:34Yes.
00:44:35In any way they want?
00:44:37Yes.
00:44:38And remind me, why is that exactly?
00:44:44Because the age of deference is over.
00:44:48And what is left without deference?
00:44:52Anarchy?
00:44:54Equality.
00:44:55How can it be equality when I cannot return the fire?
00:44:58You can.
00:44:59But I struggle to think of a moment in history where it has worked to a monarch's advantage to return
00:45:05fire on their own people.
00:45:07But you have managed to think of how this monarch might do something to her advantage.
00:45:13I have.
00:45:14And that same monarch is sitting before, forgive me, a failed politician and an unrecognized journalist, and taking his advice
00:45:27on how to do her job.
00:45:30The situation is as baffling to me as it is to you, Your Majesty.
00:45:48Oh, I've got a list.
00:45:51I do.
00:45:53As you might know from my article, I made a series of observations, recommendations of things to change.
00:46:00But for the purposes of this meeting, I chose to limit those recommendations to, um, six.
00:46:07Six?
00:46:09Three things to start, and three things to stop.
00:46:13Well, let's start with the stops.
00:46:17Very well.
00:46:18Ah, yes.
00:46:20Putting an end to the debutante's ball.
00:46:24The idea that only young women of a certain class are presented to the sovereign,
00:46:29and women who are not of that class are not presented to the sovereign, and somehow not acceptable.
00:46:34This is the sort of iniquity that should have died out with our grandparents' generation, certainly after the war.
00:46:46Next.
00:46:49Ah.
00:46:52Allow divorced people to move more freely in royal circles.
00:46:58Why?
00:47:00The sovereign is head of the Church of England, and the church does not recognise divorced persons.
00:47:06It's unkind.
00:47:08Discriminatory.
00:47:09Quite possibly unlawful.
00:47:14Next.
00:47:16Ah.
00:47:18I would recommend getting rid of an entire generation of court here.
00:47:22The old school.
00:47:24Stuck in the past.
00:47:26Ostriches.
00:47:27With their heads buried in the sand.
00:47:30They're stopping the palace evolve in keeping with the rest of the world.
00:47:33Those ostriches provide an indispensable function of monarchy.
00:47:39The preservation of tradition.
00:47:44You asked for my recommendations, ma'am.
00:47:48I'm respectfully passing them on.
00:47:54What would you have me start?
00:47:57Open up, ma'am.
00:48:01Know the drawbridge.
00:48:03Let people get to know you.
00:48:05I don't wish to be known.
00:48:09Televise the Christmas speech.
00:48:12Become more transparent.
00:48:15Accessible.
00:48:18And finally.
00:48:19Oh, finally.
00:48:20Spend time with normal people.
00:48:23Not just courtiers or the great and the good, but real people.
00:48:27Average people.
00:48:29Working people.
00:48:32Open the doors.
00:48:34Make it more inclusive and egalitarian.
00:48:40Let normal people get to know you too.
00:48:56Would you mind stepping out into the corridor for a moment?
00:48:59Not at all.
00:49:08And would you ask my private secretary to come in?
00:49:12Of course.
00:49:20Your Majesty.
00:49:34General.
00:49:36General's the choppers.
00:49:45Commander's.
00:50:02Orange, please.
00:50:18When I went back into the room, she was gone.
00:50:23Vanished into thin air.
00:50:26Do sit down.
00:50:28Charteress then went on to tell me that no-one can ever know that I met the Queen,
00:50:33and that should I ever claim that I did, the palace would robustly deny it.
00:50:38They will, however, concede that I had an appointment with Her Majesty's Assistant, Private Secretary,
00:50:44and that concessions might be made to one or two of my recommendations.
00:50:51May I ask which ones?
00:51:00Well, let's give him these lights then, quickly.
00:51:02Eat with that camera.
00:51:03Right here.
00:51:05This one next.
00:51:07Well done.
00:51:08Now let's have the rest of the table.
00:51:20I feel like an actress.
00:51:23A common little showgirl.
00:51:25Don't be silly.
00:51:28In what way am I different?
00:51:31Memorising lines and remembering angles and wearing make-up.
00:51:36The Queen of the United Kingdom, for one thing.
00:51:39Yes.
00:51:40Who's memorising lines and remembering angles and wearing make-up.
00:51:54Your Majesty.
00:51:56Right.
00:51:59Where do you want me?
00:52:00This way, please, ma'am.
00:52:14Check please.
00:52:15Everyone stand by.
00:52:16This is the pronto from here.
00:52:36Matt.
00:52:48Matt.
00:53:215, 4, 3.
00:53:28Happy Christmas.
00:53:3325 years ago, my grandfather broadcast the first of these Christmas messages.
00:53:41Today is another landmark, because television has made it possible for many of you to see
00:53:47me in your homes on Christmas Day.
00:53:51My own family often gather round to watch the television, as they are at this moment, and
00:53:58that is how I think of you all now.
00:54:00I very much hope that this new medium will make my Christmas message more personal and
00:54:07direct.
00:54:10It is inevitable that I should seem a rather remote figure to many of you, a successor
00:54:18to the kings and queens of history, someone whose face may be familiar in newspapers and
00:54:25films, but who never really touches your personal lives.
00:54:30But now at least, for a few minutes, I welcome you into the peace of my own home.
00:54:42That it is possible for some of you to see me today is just another example of the speed
00:54:49at which things are changing all around us.
00:54:57I would like to read a few lines from Pilgrim's Progress.
00:55:09And though with great difficulty I am got hither, yet now I do repent me of all the trouble
00:55:17I have been at to arrive where I am, my sword I give to him that shall succeed me in
00:55:24my pilgrimage,
00:55:26and my courage and skill to him that can get it.
00:55:32My marks and scars I carry with me to be a witness for me that I have fought his battles,
00:55:42who now will be my rewarder.
00:55:51I hope that 1958 may bring you God's blessings and all the things that you long for.
00:56:01And so I wish you all, young and old, wherever you may be, all the fun and enjoyment and peace
00:56:10of a very happy Christmas.
00:56:15And we're off air.
00:56:41And we're off air.
00:56:44And we're off air.
00:56:50And we're off air.
00:57:01And I'm not going to limit you.
00:57:07And when we're off air.
00:57:09And when we're going to be on the beach.
00:57:13And you've had to be on the beach.
00:57:14Hello.
00:57:15How am I?
00:57:17You look pretty.
00:57:19Like the dress.
00:57:21And the hair, very unregimental.
00:57:23Oh, yes, Tony, you're the top person, of course.
00:57:25Only stylist who could be trusted.
00:57:28Does he have a name, this stylist?
00:57:31I want to say Victor Cabomb.
00:57:32No, that's not quite right.
00:57:35Vidal Baboon?
00:57:36Vidal Baboon.
00:57:38Yes, I think.
00:57:38Well, anyway, I talk endlessly about hair as a geometric art form.
00:57:41It looks jolly pretty.
00:57:43And if you happen to have a number for this baboon, I might pass it on to my wife.
00:57:48Is that appropriate, by the way, that a red-blooded man should know the correct hairdresser for a woman?
00:57:53There's almost nothing that's appropriate about Tony, but he's made it his mission in life to improve me.
00:58:00Your very own little altering him?
00:58:02Yes.
00:58:03Just rather better in bed, I suspect.
00:58:09Oh, dear God.
00:58:10Good one.
00:58:16There it is.
00:58:18Thank you very much.
00:58:21Who do you suppose that is?
00:58:23It could be Mr. David Smith, a car dealer.
00:58:29And that?
00:58:31I believe that is Harriet the Hammer Jones, a boxer from the old Kent Road.
00:58:42Rounding up the numbers, we have a local restaurateur, a bus driver, a bank clerk, and a woman policeman.
00:58:55All to open things up.
00:58:56Yes.
00:58:57Bring us more in line with the real world.
00:58:59To democratise us.
00:59:02And so it goes.
00:59:05The stings and bites we suffer as it slips away, bit by bit, piece by piece, our authority, our absolutism,
00:59:19our divine rights.
00:59:29The history of the monarchy in this country is a one-way street of humiliation, sacrifices and concessions in order
00:59:36to survive.
00:59:37First the barons came for us, then the merchants, now the journalists, small wonder we make such a fuss about
00:59:42curtsies, protocol and precedent.
00:59:44It's all we have left, the last scraps of armour as we go from ruling to reigning to...
00:59:53To what?
00:59:54To being nothing at all.
00:59:59Mary Annette.
01:00:07Right.
01:00:08Gloves on.
01:00:10Ah.
01:00:13I told the master of the household to rotate the guests between courses, so if you get a dud, don't
01:00:18worry, it'll be 15 minutes at worst.
01:00:29I can't.
01:00:44I can't.
01:00:46Hello.
01:00:47Very nice.
01:00:48Very nice.
01:00:48Very nice.
01:00:50Thank you for coming.
01:00:52Mr. Harry the Havard.
01:00:53Lovely time.
01:00:53Thanks so much for having you.
01:00:55Thank you so much for having me.
01:00:56You're looking.
01:00:56Absolutely.
01:00:57Mr. Martin Jones.
01:00:58What can't you tell him?
01:01:00Hello, Mrs. James.
01:01:02Hello.
01:01:02Sergeant Ethel Denrong.
01:01:05Such a pleasure to have you.
01:01:07Oh, here they come.
01:01:08Dog dogs.
01:01:09Hey!
01:01:10What are you doing?
01:01:10Oh look.
01:01:11Oh man.
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