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  • 14 minutes ago
29000 Wishes
1 Regret
2012
Transcript
00:00:01All the corner office. Top floor.
00:00:04Mm-hmm. The penthouse suite.
00:00:05Welcome to the new Alpern home.
00:00:08This is our foyer, sort of.
00:00:11Foyer number three.
00:00:13Fireplace. Beautiful view of downtown.
00:00:16Did you sketch? Did you get that?
00:00:18Good.
00:00:24You thought of everything.
00:00:25I did, Candles.
00:00:26Jennifer Alpern. You were such a romantic.
00:00:29Jennifer, I just measured it.
00:00:30We totally have room for a billiard table.
00:00:32Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:00:33Come on!
00:00:34No!
00:00:35First of all, I am a pool shark.
00:00:37You know I will kill you.
00:00:37You're a pool shark, but you don't play billiards.
00:00:39I can't believe you found that.
00:00:40I put it in the garage in a tiny box in the corner.
00:00:44Oh, it was cold.
00:00:45Honey, you've had that sweater since college.
00:00:48It's gross. It has holes in it.
00:00:49It smells like old beard.
00:00:52This is quality.
00:00:53Kevin, if you take off that sweater,
00:00:56I will make love to you in every room in this house.
00:01:01Starting right here.
00:01:03That's so itching.
00:01:04Turn to your left 90 degrees.
00:01:08Open your eyes.
00:01:10What is this?
00:01:11What do you think?
00:01:13What is it?
00:01:14Kiss me.
00:01:20Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:01:22And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:01:23And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:01:27That sounds really dramatic.
00:01:28I'm going to try it again.
00:01:30Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:01:31This is Kevin, and we're here to tell you
00:01:33how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:01:35You probably already know this,
00:01:36but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:01:39Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:01:42And then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:01:43Yeah, if we're going downhill anyway,
00:01:46why not be the masters of our own fate
00:01:47and decide when and how we're going to go under?
00:01:50We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:01:55Spend what we want when we want.
00:01:57Yeah, do all the things that we wanted to do,
00:01:59but now due to the circumstances, can't do.
00:02:03So here we are kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:02:07Do you have anything else to say?
00:02:09No.
00:02:11I do miss everyone.
00:02:13I just know that we had a really great time
00:02:15these last few months.
00:02:16Yeah.
00:02:16Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:02:20I know we haven't talked in a long time,
00:02:22but I just want you to know
00:02:24I thought about you every day.
00:02:28I should probably shut it off now.
00:02:39You come clean
00:02:42And cause a scene
00:02:46My diary writes
00:02:51It's all lies
00:03:13I'll tell you
00:03:13You're awesome
00:03:13Thanks to that.
00:03:13We'll see you in the rain
00:03:13I got you
00:03:15I get you
00:03:26Who do you think you are?
00:03:30Lighting this place with dark
00:03:34My time is meant for play
00:03:38You have a better way
00:03:45That bad, huh?
00:03:48Can you say hell?
00:03:50I don't even see what the point is
00:03:52Hundreds of us, hundreds crammed into this little room
00:03:55The looks on everyone's faces just said it all
00:03:57Take me, I'll be your slave
00:03:58I'll work for next to nothing
00:04:01Pathetic
00:04:01You'll get it, I can feel it
00:04:03No, I won't
00:04:05I didn't pass my CPI
00:04:08Your what?
00:04:09Critical personality inventory exam
00:04:12It's an exam they invented to test
00:04:14Whether your corporate policy gels with you
00:04:17Or your personality gels with them
00:04:20They test your big five
00:04:21Your conscientiousness, your stability, your openness
00:04:23Your agreeableness, your extroversion
00:04:29Brian's always in trouble
00:04:31He thinks his new girlfriend of two months is pregnant
00:04:33What would Brian do without your advice?
00:04:35I am his best friend
00:04:36It seems like you're his only friend
00:04:37It's kind of my duty to be there for him
00:04:39He's going through a tough time
00:04:41Hello
00:04:43Well, you're a good guy, Kevin
00:04:45You know, if you shut off your cell phone
00:04:46We could save 60 a month
00:04:48Never
00:04:49I'm my last link to my old life
00:04:51When I was a mover and shaker
00:04:51Old habits die hard
00:04:59So what's for dinner?
00:05:04Boston baked beans
00:05:07Oh good, I like beans
00:05:08Not the more nutritious than beans
00:05:10They're low with protein
00:05:12Oh, I have a surprise
00:05:14Do we win the lotto?
00:05:15Jackpot's up to 62.5 million
00:05:17No, close
00:05:18I just got my last unemployment check
00:05:20Oh good, time to cut loose and celebrate
00:05:22No, it's time to make the money last
00:05:25There's always food stamps
00:05:26Or the place we donated the turkey
00:05:28The food bank
00:05:29Yeah
00:05:30Or maybe we'll get jobs
00:05:32I sent my resume to over 100 companies
00:05:34Something's got to give
00:05:35Maybe we should just go to the store
00:05:36No, let's order takeout
00:05:38No
00:05:38Pizza
00:05:39No, we can't
00:05:40Pizza, pizza, pizza
00:05:40Kevin, that's like over $20 plus a tip
00:05:42No
00:05:43We can just get cheese
00:05:44I can live without toppings
00:05:45Without pepperoni
00:05:46Not mushrooms
00:05:47Mushrooms are a line in the sand
00:05:48That's non-negotiable
00:05:49Kevin, we only have $591.62
00:05:52To last us an infinite amount of time
00:05:54We're not getting takeout
00:05:56We're not going out to eat
00:06:00Oh, and there was a 50 cent off pack of 12 pack of tuna
00:06:03Done
00:06:05I swore in college I would never eat ramen again
00:06:08I worked hard enough, I need the good stuff
00:06:09Is there a reason why you torture us?
00:06:12How's that?
00:06:13You go on and on about how things used to be
00:06:15It's getting old
00:06:17I'm sorry, I'm remembering a better period in our lives
00:06:19Oh, you're complaining
00:06:21You know what you call complaining is my way of remembering
00:06:24Better times
00:06:25I'm not having this conversation again
00:06:30Oh, Brian again
00:06:32What would he do without your brotherly advice?
00:06:35I have no idea
00:06:36I remember our old market
00:06:47Where we used to have our choice of cheeses
00:06:48Like goat
00:06:50And not just goat
00:06:51Canberra, Rockford
00:06:52And you could choose what country it came from
00:06:54And then the region from that country
00:06:56You done?
00:06:58Sorry, I won't reminisce anymore
00:06:59I'm bad
00:07:01Hi, mom
00:07:02Hi, dear
00:07:02How are the two of you doing?
00:07:04You're doing okay
00:07:04How's Kevin's job hunt progressing?
00:07:07I don't know
00:07:07Let me ask him
00:07:08My mom wants to know how the job hunt's coming
00:07:11I hope he hasn't given up
00:07:12Tell him winners win
00:07:15My mom says don't give up
00:07:16Winners win
00:07:17I bet she does
00:07:18I just heard he's still looking?
00:07:20Yeah, mom, he's looking every day
00:07:22We both are
00:07:24It's just hard
00:07:25No one's hiring right now
00:07:26He needs to pound the pavement
00:07:28Mom, he is
00:07:29Are you both coming home for Thanksgiving?
00:07:31Yes, we are coming home for Thanksgiving
00:07:33I just don't see why someone won't hire him
00:07:36He's such a smart boy
00:07:38Such a talented architect
00:07:41Mom, can I just call you back?
00:07:43Okay
00:07:46You're silly
00:07:47Isn't that why you married me?
00:07:50Maybe
00:07:51You made a mess
00:07:52I know
00:07:53We better go before they make us pay for it
00:07:54No, what is that anyway?
00:07:56It's gelatin
00:07:56It's Mexican gelatin
00:07:58It's jalapeno gelatin with queso
00:08:01What else do we need?
00:08:02I don't know
00:08:03I got the peanut butter
00:08:03And the beans
00:08:04You ready?
00:08:08Tuna, good call
00:08:09You were so on it
00:08:10Your favorite
00:08:12Cilantro
00:08:17It's like knives
00:08:18I love cilantro
00:08:19I know
00:08:20And it makes me worry about you
00:08:23That maybe you are an android
00:08:24We had tears
00:08:27Like streams they run
00:08:29Don't let sadness
00:08:31Dark in the fun
00:08:33Why can't you
00:08:38Let me go
00:08:43Honest love
00:08:44Don't last at all
00:08:48Honest love
00:08:49Just makes me crawl
00:08:53Honest love
00:08:56Makes me go
00:08:56Out, out, out
00:08:58Out of my mind
00:09:06You growing a beard?
00:09:08My new plan is to shave every four days
00:09:10That way we can save on razors and shaving cream
00:09:13Do you know that each of those razors is like $2?
00:09:16I never realized where we're popular
00:09:17Yep
00:09:19Well, I think it's sexy
00:09:30Do you still love me?
00:09:32Of course I do
00:09:35Then say it
00:09:37I don't have to say it
00:09:39I've never said it
00:09:43Would I still be with you if I didn't love you?
00:09:45What choice would you have?
00:09:47I could move out
00:09:48And go where?
00:09:50I don't know, the car?
00:09:52That's my point
00:09:55I feel like we're together because we have to be together
00:09:58Not because we want to be together
00:10:00Hey, even where we had everything
00:10:01I was still with you
00:10:04Then say it
00:10:07Look, you know I don't say it
00:10:08I just show it
00:10:10My mother always told my father she loved him
00:10:12And then they got divorced
00:10:13And then he married Marilyn and his trophy wife
00:10:16And it didn't matter they said it
00:10:18Well, if it means absolutely nothing
00:10:20Then just say it
00:10:21Why are we having this conversation now?
00:10:23We're married
00:10:23Because it's important now, okay?
00:10:26I just
00:10:28I need it
00:10:31I love you, alright?
00:10:33Yeah
00:10:39Yeah
00:10:50Amazing
00:10:51Well, that guy can interrupt every moment we have
00:10:53It's like he has relationship sabotage
00:10:56You know what?
00:11:00It's a nice day
00:11:01I'm gonna walk home
00:11:12Are you mad at me?
00:11:14No, I'm not mad
00:11:16Just sad, I guess
00:11:18Don't you think I'm sad, too?
00:11:20Not for the same reasons
00:11:26I miss driving our car
00:11:29I thought we weren't allowed to get nostalgic
00:11:31It says back
00:11:33I'm allowed to be a little misty once in a while
00:11:39I kind of like it
00:11:41I mean, we used to drive everywhere
00:11:42We never got to see anything
00:11:44It really opens your eyes, though
00:11:45Yeah
00:11:46I don't know if I want to see everything
00:11:49I like living my own ignorant little world
00:12:02I'm excited for sandwiches
00:12:05Give me the keys
00:12:14You always were a terrific chef
00:12:16No, you're sweet
00:12:17And a bad liar
00:12:21Huh?
00:12:23I thought we were saving that for a special occasion
00:12:25Well, we were
00:12:27We might be waiting a long time
00:12:28So
00:12:31What are we toasting to?
00:12:34I don't know
00:12:38Let's try something
00:12:40During this entire meal
00:12:41No one can say anything negative
00:12:43This is going to be a happy, pleasant meal
00:12:45Done
00:12:46And if whoever talks negatively loses and has the dishes for a week
00:12:52How do I make it two weeks?
00:12:53Hmm
00:12:54Three weeks
00:12:54A month
00:12:55Until spring
00:12:57Works for me
00:13:00You know, Kevin, I was thinking
00:13:02This meal out would have cost us $32 at least
00:13:05Not to mention the drinks, which would have been at least $10
00:13:08Yeah, so that's like $42 with tax into it
00:13:11Maybe even $45
00:13:11And for what?
00:13:14Bread that costs $0.10 a slice
00:13:16I mean, an $0.89 can of tuna
00:13:17$0.02 worth of mayo
00:13:20That's like $0.50 a sandwich
00:13:22That's over a $32 savings
00:13:25I love tuna
00:13:26Add a little mayo, relish, celery
00:13:28It's a foodie's paradise
00:13:30I mean, where would we be without peanut butter and tuna fish?
00:13:33Empires were built on these stables
00:13:35You lose
00:13:37How's that?
00:13:38You were complaining
00:13:39Oh, I would like to repeal this ruling
00:13:42Do you like sex?
00:13:44Oh, that's not fair
00:13:46You can't use sex as a bargaining chip
00:13:47Oh?
00:13:49Okay, maybe you can
00:13:50But that's just not fair
00:13:52Hmm
00:13:52Okay
00:13:54Maybe
00:13:55I will consider reducing your sentence to one week
00:13:57If
00:13:58You work for it
00:14:02Tell me you love me
00:14:04Oh, we're back on that again
00:14:06And if we're not on it
00:14:10Well, then I only have one question for you
00:14:12Which type of dishwashing soap do you prefer?
00:14:15Make sure you wash those really good
00:14:17With some grease and some love
00:14:23Oh
00:14:28Is it Brian?
00:14:29I can take some paper
00:14:30Come on
00:14:31You are a troublemaker
00:14:34Looks like he's off the hook
00:14:35Hillary doesn't have a bun in the oven
00:14:37She dumped him
00:14:38Great, I'm so happy for him
00:14:41I won two tickets to Paris
00:14:44You mean virtual tickets?
00:14:47My sorority nominated me to go
00:14:49And I got a new pet
00:14:50Her name is Tattles
00:14:51She's coming with me
00:14:53Hmm
00:14:53Is this your way of saying you want a cat?
00:14:55Oh, I'm going to the south of France
00:14:57With my new boyfriend, Henri
00:15:01Can I come too?
00:15:02Dumb question, Jen
00:15:04What joy do you get in going to places that aren't real?
00:15:08The south of France is very real
00:15:10Not to us
00:15:13Not having this conversation
00:15:15You never want to talk about it
00:15:20Talk about what exactly?
00:15:21Our situation
00:15:23Look, I was just reading in psychology.com
00:15:25If you talk about your problems
00:15:27And get them out in the open
00:15:28You're more apt to be a happier, healthier person
00:15:31Than holding it inside
00:15:32And that it's important for couples
00:15:34To have tough conversations
00:15:35Even if it causes friction
00:15:37Between those you love
00:15:39Do you really believe any of that BS?
00:15:41I mean, the individual who wrote that
00:15:43Is obviously under some deadline
00:15:45To generate content
00:15:46So he doesn't lose his job
00:15:47And the life he works so hard for
00:15:49And end up like us
00:15:50Well, that's exactly my point
00:15:52We're holding on to all this anger
00:15:54And it's making us depressed
00:15:56Holding things inside
00:15:57Is not what's making me depressed
00:16:01It's living like this
00:16:02That's making me depressed
00:16:04It's...
00:16:05Well, we lost our house
00:16:06And we can't even get jobs
00:16:09And I don't even think
00:16:09We could get arrested
00:16:10If we wanted to
00:16:11Oh, I could get arrested
00:16:12That wouldn't be tough
00:16:13You see what I'm saying?
00:16:14You said you want to have
00:16:15A serious conversation
00:16:16And you're just making jokes
00:16:17Well, what am I supposed to do?
00:16:18Talk about it
00:16:19Maybe making jokes
00:16:20Is my way of venting
00:16:21I think if I were to admit
00:16:23That our lives are going downhill
00:16:25I wouldn't be able to cope
00:16:26And now you're being defensive
00:16:27I'm not being defensive
00:16:29And I do want to talk about it
00:16:31No, you don't want to talk about it
00:16:34Because if you did want to talk about it
00:16:35We'd talk about it
00:16:38Okay, so talk about it
00:16:39Now
00:16:40I can't just do it on command
00:16:43Yeah
00:16:46Where are you going?
00:16:49Out
00:16:50Okay, where is out exactly?
00:16:55Jen
00:16:55You're really going?
00:17:27I'm going to talk about it
00:17:38You're not going to jump, are you?
00:17:43I miss all the fun we've been having.
00:17:49I was thinking about it.
00:17:53Can we go together?
00:17:56Like a suicide pact?
00:17:59Well, I wouldn't want to live without you.
00:18:03You'd get over me.
00:18:05Want to bet?
00:18:09Guess there's only one way to find out.
00:18:15Think we'd die on impact or in the air?
00:18:17Or not high enough to die midair.
00:18:19It would be on the splat.
00:18:21The splat?
00:18:22Yeah, when we hit the concrete.
00:18:23Is that like an official term?
00:18:26No, I made it up.
00:18:30That would be gross.
00:18:33Yeah, bloody.
00:18:36Body parts.
00:18:38Everywhere.
00:18:40Besides, I want an open casket.
00:18:43If we end up, we're going to have to do it some other way.
00:18:46Sleeping pills.
00:18:47Not effective.
00:18:49You always hear about people ending up in comas.
00:18:53Gunshot to the temple.
00:18:55To the temple or the mouth?
00:18:58Because you might survive, and then you're just a glorified vegetable.
00:19:14I want chips and salsa.
00:19:15I want chips and salsa.
00:19:18That we can manage.
00:19:25I want chips and salsa.
00:19:29Or the other way around.
00:19:32If we go, we should make sure to go together.
00:19:36Deal.
00:19:43What?
00:21:20Hey.
00:21:22Hey.
00:21:25I think I figured it out.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27Yeah.
00:21:28Remember that trip we wanted to take to Paris?
00:21:30Uh-huh.
00:21:31We'll take it.
00:21:33Okay.
00:21:33We're going to do everything that we wanted to do.
00:21:36We're going to eat when we want to eat.
00:21:37We're going to do what we want to do.
00:21:38Live high on the hog, no holds barred.
00:21:40Sounds great.
00:21:42Did we win the lottery?
00:21:43Not exactly.
00:21:45Okay, listen.
00:21:46We have $29,000 left on our cards.
00:21:50We're going to spend it.
00:21:52We're going to do all the things we want to do.
00:21:54Live the life we were supposed to live before this crap happened to us and we ended up here.
00:21:57We're just going to enjoy ourselves.
00:21:59Okay, I thought that we were saving the credit though for when we actually ran out of money and needed
00:22:03to live.
00:22:05We were.
00:22:07But I made one small adjustment to the model.
00:22:10The original plan would have only delayed the inevitable.
00:22:12I mean those cards would have bought us eight months, ten months tops.
00:22:15And I'm being generous.
00:22:15I won't argue with you.
00:22:16You're our financial guru.
00:22:18So how do you pay it back?
00:22:21We don't.
00:22:23I'm confused.
00:22:25We're not going to pay it back because we don't have to.
00:22:28I'm missing something.
00:22:29It's not like they're going to give us free money.
00:22:31Actually, they kind of are.
00:22:33Just hear me out.
00:22:34Okay?
00:22:35Do you like your life the way it is now?
00:22:38No, but...
00:22:39Do you think it's going to get better?
00:22:40I don't know.
00:22:40It's not.
00:22:42It won't.
00:22:42I ran the numbers, okay?
00:22:43We're not going to be out of debt until we're like over 55.
00:22:46And that's if we can find work.
00:22:47And that's the best case scenario.
00:22:49Don't ask me about the worst.
00:23:11There's no emotion in this, Kevin.
00:23:13It's all facts.
00:23:15This could be the only chance we have at the life we wanted for ourselves.
00:23:19Are you serious?
00:23:21Yes, I'm serious.
00:23:24I've never been more serious in my life.
00:23:26This is crazy.
00:23:28What's crazier?
00:23:29Living a wonderful six months with the person you love?
00:23:32Or...
00:23:33Living a lifetime of toil and fear and...
00:23:38I know what I'm going for.
00:23:41Maybe we should think about this a little bit more?
00:23:43I don't need to think about it anymore.
00:23:46I've been thinking about it for months.
00:23:50So you're just going to go ahead and do it, whether I'm in or not?
00:23:54I'm just telling you what I want for myself.
00:23:56Maybe you should go see a therapist.
00:24:00I don't need a therapist, Kevin.
00:24:03A therapist isn't going to help our financial situation.
00:24:06And it's easy for the doctor to say,
00:24:08Do be content because he is going to go home to his beautiful suburban home with his white picket fence,
00:24:12which our health insurance helps pay for, by the way.
00:24:15And that's up at the end of the month.
00:24:18So that's great.
00:24:21I just think there has to be a better way.
00:24:24You know, I'm miserable too.
00:24:26I hate what we're experiencing, but I just...
00:24:28I think there has to be some hope.
00:24:32Hope is just a word that people use so they don't have to deal with the cold, hard facts of
00:24:37the situation.
00:24:39Kevin, out.
00:24:44It's a logical decision.
00:24:46I can't, Jennifer.
00:24:50Fine.
00:24:51Great.
00:24:52Then I'll leave you with half the credit cards, okay?
00:24:54You'll have a little less than four months left.
00:24:57Now where are you going?
00:24:58Kevin, out!
00:25:40How'd I know I could find you here?
00:25:43I splurged.
00:25:45Caramel macchiato, 375.
00:25:49Sometimes you gotta live.
00:25:57Can we go to Vegas?
00:26:00We always had a blast there.
00:26:03Does this mean you want to end it with me?
00:26:08I don't know.
00:26:12What don't you know?
00:26:14I don't want to live the life that we planned without you.
00:26:19I'd rather have six months with you than spend a lifetime wondering what those last six months would have been
00:26:23like.
00:26:26I love you.
00:26:29Even though we're gonna off each other.
00:26:32That's something that's really weird.
00:26:35How are we gonna do it anyway?
00:26:37Like, who goes first?
00:26:39I don't know. We'll figure that out later.
00:26:42Yeah, just a minor detail, huh?
00:26:52So we're gonna keep a video log of what we're planning to do so our friends and family don't think
00:26:56we decided to do this randomly.
00:26:58I love how you have it all figured out.
00:27:01Just doing what makes sense. It's logical.
00:27:04Funny what seems logical today.
00:27:06Yeah.
00:27:09Come on.
00:27:12Is it on?
00:27:13How do I know?
00:27:15The red light needs to be flashing.
00:27:17And we're recording.
00:27:18Okay.
00:27:20Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:27:22And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:27:24And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:27:27That sounds dramatic.
00:27:31Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:27:32This is Kevin, and we're here to tell you how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:27:37Uh, you probably already know this, but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:27:41Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:27:43But then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:27:45Yeah. If we're going downhill anyway, why not be the masters of our fate and decide when and how we
00:27:50go under.
00:27:51We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:27:55Spend what we want, when we want.
00:27:57Yeah. Do all the things we wanted to do, but now, given the circumstances, won't get a chance to.
00:28:02So, here we are, kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:28:06Do you have anything else to say?
00:28:07No.
00:28:09Um, I do miss everyone.
00:28:12Just know that we had a really great time these last few months.
00:28:14Yeah.
00:28:15Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:28:18I know we haven't talked in a while, but I just want you to know I thought about you every
00:28:22day.
00:28:26We should probably shut it off now.
00:28:40So, now that we are free, we should have to figure out what to do.
00:28:45Uh-huh.
00:28:46South of France.
00:28:48Yes.
00:28:49You just want to see the topless beaches again.
00:28:51No.
00:28:52I appreciate French art.
00:28:53Uh-huh.
00:28:53Right.
00:28:54Uh, your turn then.
00:28:57Africa.
00:28:57I've always wanted to see the lion in its natural habitat.
00:29:00Yeah, you have big bugs there.
00:29:01That's not high on my list.
00:29:02Come on.
00:29:04Horse-drawn carriage ride through New York City?
00:29:06That's touristy.
00:29:07Oh, and going on safari isn't.
00:29:09Come on.
00:29:09African safari qualifies as exotic.
00:29:11Uh-huh.
00:29:12Carriage ride is generic.
00:29:13Uh-huh.
00:29:14All right, Mr. Travel Guide.
00:29:15What is the ultimate experience you can think of doing that we haven't thought of yet?
00:29:19I want to stay on the space station.
00:29:21Yeah.
00:29:21It's a little bit out of our budget.
00:29:23A little.
00:29:24Okay.
00:29:25Uh, Dodger tickets.
00:29:26Box seats.
00:29:28Yeah.
00:29:29We can do that.
00:29:32Caribbean.
00:29:33British Virgin Islands.
00:29:35I want to walk on the white sand and I just want to feel the sand in my hands and
00:29:39you and the sun and just relax.
00:29:46I want to drive fast.
00:29:48Okay.
00:29:49Remember that Formula One racing school we talked about?
00:29:52We can both race Porsches on the track.
00:29:54Yeah.
00:29:54Yeah.
00:29:54I would do that.
00:29:55I would, I would totally do that.
00:29:56I would do that.
00:29:57I thought you were afraid of high speeds.
00:29:58Well, what's the worst that could happen?
00:30:01Okay, fair enough.
00:30:03Maybe we make that one of the last things we do.
00:30:05Just in case it doesn't, you know.
00:30:06Right.
00:30:07Go as planned.
00:30:08Yeah.
00:30:11I want to go on a hot air balloon ride.
00:30:13Mmm.
00:30:14And drink really expensive champagne.
00:30:16Like, ridiculously expensive.
00:30:18Sounds fantastic.
00:30:19Yeah.
00:30:20Dangled grapes in each other's mouths.
00:30:23Yeah.
00:30:24Sure.
00:30:25It's an image I've always wanted to make happen.
00:30:28Hmm.
00:30:29But we're really going to do this, you know.
00:30:31I'm ready.
00:30:32Are you?
00:30:33Mm-hmm.
00:31:02Yeah.
00:31:10Whoa.
00:31:12Yeah.
00:31:13Yeah.
00:31:13In the dark water.
00:31:17Yeah.
00:31:19Yeah.
00:31:20Yeah.
00:31:21Yeah.
00:31:22Yeah.
00:31:23Yeah.
00:31:24Yeah.
00:31:24Yeah.
00:31:25Yeah.
00:31:26Yeah.
00:31:28Yeah.
00:31:32I feel kind of free.
00:31:33Is that strange?
00:31:34No.
00:31:35No, it's a relief kind of to know we can do whatever we want.
00:31:39Mm-hmm.
00:31:39You know, play and make up the rules.
00:31:41Who even needs rules.
00:31:42Good point.
00:31:49You've got your whole life thinking that you need to work and make a living.
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:54Yeah, and then there's some big payoff at the end.
00:31:56Mm-hmm.
00:31:58It just doesn't work like that.
00:32:02What's the one thing you would have done if you didn't think it was a responsible thing to do?
00:32:08Man, it's been so long since I've done anything irresponsible.
00:32:11I don't know.
00:32:13Well, what are you feeling right now?
00:32:17I want to stay in an outrageously expensive hotel on the beach.
00:32:21The kind of place you have to take it alone to pay the bill.
00:32:23Yeah, yeah, the place where they put the little chocolates on the pillows.
00:32:25And all the toiletries you could ever need in the bathroom.
00:32:28Mm-hmm.
00:32:28Yes.
00:32:28The fuzzy bathrooms.
00:32:29And order room service.
00:32:30Everything on the bench.
00:32:30Yes, yes, yes.
00:32:31Even the expensive cheese plate.
00:32:32And the wine that's really expensive.
00:32:34But not that good but really expensive.
00:32:35And eat everything in the little fridge.
00:32:36Yes.
00:32:37Yes, and not care how much it costs.
00:32:40I want to see you in that expensive hotel for the next week.
00:32:45Okay.
00:32:59You do know about that.
00:33:00Don't forget to bring your swimming trucks.
00:33:01Because they're the best.
00:33:03Mmm, I'm thinking we'd take that pool naked.
00:33:07I'm sure their curiosity won't go any further than that.
00:33:10Exactly.
00:33:11Why do we have everything in mind?
00:33:12Oh, I cannot wait to eat at the restaurant there.
00:33:15You hungry?
00:33:15Five stars.
00:33:16Pretty hungry.
00:33:17I'll be really hungry by the time we get there.
00:33:19Hey.
00:33:19What?
00:33:20Let's have you wear your A's hat today.
00:33:22I don't like the A's.
00:33:23You do too.
00:33:25I hate the A's.
00:33:25Everyone loves the A's.
00:33:26I really hate them actually.
00:33:28You can wear them.
00:33:28Um, can I please bring my linen pants?
00:33:32You have to bring linen pants.
00:33:33We're pretending it's summer.
00:33:34Oh my gosh.
00:33:35This is going to be awesome.
00:33:36And my white shoes.
00:33:37Your seersucker pants.
00:33:38Buckled, yeah.
00:33:39I don't know where those are.
00:33:40I think we may have gotten rid of those.
00:33:41I'm kind of ready.
00:33:42I'm in a fruity drink mood.
00:33:43You know?
00:33:43Yeah.
00:33:53You okay?
00:33:54Yeah.
00:33:55You don't need too much for the pool.
00:33:56Let's go.
00:33:57Pool time.
00:33:58Let's do it.
00:33:59A little pool party?
00:33:59Actually, I think it was over there.
00:34:01I'm going to kind of miss it.
00:34:03Even if it's going for a little while.
00:34:05The roaches?
00:34:06The strange clanging noise at two in the morning?
00:34:08Well, don't forget our landlady, Ms. Volker.
00:34:10She had the demeanor of a prison warden.
00:34:12Yeah, I know.
00:34:14Let's not wait around here.
00:34:16Let's get out of here.
00:34:20I have a five-star restaurant here.
00:34:21Oh yeah?
00:34:22Yes.
00:34:22Would you like to eat there?
00:34:23I would.
00:34:24Alright.
00:34:26Or do you?
00:34:27Immediately?
00:34:27Or do you?
00:34:28We can check in.
00:34:29Can we check in?
00:34:30Yeah.
00:34:31What?
00:34:36We're home.
00:34:39It's gonna be good.
00:34:41Not bad.
00:34:50Cheers.
00:34:51Cheers.
00:34:56Mmm.
00:34:58Mmm.
00:35:02So, Kevin.
00:35:04How are you feeling right now?
00:35:06I like being on vacation.
00:35:07Missing her apartment?
00:35:09Does the dog miss the pound?
00:35:12Alright, my turn.
00:35:13Hand it over.
00:35:22I think we made the right decision.
00:35:24Definitely.
00:35:25Most outrageously priced hotel in the city.
00:35:28Where else can you get that $10 bar of chocolate?
00:35:31I meant about us.
00:35:34Definitely.
00:35:35No regrets.
00:35:37I get to spend some quality time with the person I care about the most.
00:35:41And that's more than most people get in their lives, right?
00:35:44We can grow old and miserable, alone probably, because one of us will go first.
00:35:50Penniless.
00:35:51Or we can be in control of how and when it ends.
00:35:56Isn't that what most people want?
00:35:58And what's that?
00:36:00To spend the last moments of your life with the person that you love.
00:36:07So, what's next?
00:36:10Sushi.
00:36:10Oh.
00:36:11I want lots and lots of expensive raw fish.
00:36:14Okay.
00:36:15I'm talking about good stuff.
00:36:16None of that bargain sushi.
00:36:17Let's do it.
00:36:18I just want to order everything.
00:36:19Everything.
00:36:19And not even worry about the cost.
00:36:21I want to get some of the ultra overpriced, uh...
00:36:23Toro.
00:36:23Toro.
00:36:24I love that.
00:36:24Okay.
00:36:25Really?
00:36:26Yes.
00:36:26We're playing by our own rules now.
00:36:29So, we're really doing this?
00:36:31Yeah.
00:36:32Good.
00:36:34Oh, boy.
00:36:35Anything wrong?
00:36:37Well, Brian is...
00:36:38You know what?
00:36:39I don't want to know.
00:36:41Just...
00:36:42Let's just go get some raw fish.
00:36:44Okay?
00:36:45I'm starving, actually.
00:36:47Finish these drinks and go get sushi.
00:36:50Hop in the pool?
00:36:51Okay.
00:36:52You first.
00:36:52Show you my California roll.
00:36:56Let's check out this pool.
00:36:58Here.
00:36:58Give me that.
00:36:58Psst.
00:36:59Let me hold your drink.
00:37:03Wait.
00:37:03It looks good, doesn't it?
00:37:04It does.
00:37:10I had to do it.
00:37:11I'm sorry.
00:37:13Is it warm?
00:37:17You coming in?
00:37:18I don't know.
00:37:18I have to test it first.
00:37:20Down here.
00:37:21Touch the lid.
00:37:23Don't.
00:37:24Get away.
00:37:25Get away.
00:37:26Get away.
00:37:30It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:32Yeah, it is, actually.
00:37:32Can you.
00:37:36You're okay.
00:37:38You're okay.
00:37:39Nope, you're okay, you're okay.
00:37:55You're okay.
00:37:56Nope, you're okay.
00:38:02Okay, stop.
00:38:40Mmm, it's been so long since I've had salmon.
00:38:44It's so good.
00:38:46I'm going to save this moment.
00:38:51No, don't.
00:38:55Everyone's going to think I'm a pig.
00:38:57Turn it off.
00:38:58We love to watch you eat.
00:38:59Fight me.
00:39:01So, how was the sushi meal?
00:39:05Good, considering the last six months all we've had is peanut butter and canned tuna.
00:39:11It's amazing.
00:39:16What's wrong?
00:39:17Nothing's wrong.
00:39:18Turn it off.
00:39:19What?
00:39:19Turn it off.
00:39:21What is it?
00:39:23We haven't been this happy in a long time.
00:39:32Remember last time we were at the zigzag counter?
00:39:34Yeah.
00:39:35Celebrating my first commission as an architect?
00:39:38I designed an outdoor playground.
00:39:39Yeah, I remember.
00:39:40You got your promotion after that.
00:39:42And we used the bonus as the money for our down payment on the house?
00:39:45Yeah.
00:39:46We had some great times there.
00:39:49Wasn't this about stuffing ourselves with raw fish?
00:39:53Until we burst?
00:39:53So let's do that.
00:39:55What else are we getting?
00:39:57Everything.
00:39:58Everything.
00:39:59We're at the beginning.
00:40:00Yes.
00:40:02That was good.
00:40:05Is Brian the only one that texts you?
00:40:07He's the only one of our friends that didn't mind we're in the poorhouse.
00:40:09I guess I give him credit for that.
00:40:13Yeah, we should have done that a long time ago.
00:40:16Those of us have the best ideas.
00:40:20I think I overdid it, though.
00:40:22That last tuna hand roll put me over the edge.
00:40:24That was good, though.
00:40:25I'm losing my physique.
00:40:27You can see the tuna roll.
00:40:29It's wrong.
00:40:30I want shoes.
00:40:32Designer shoes.
00:40:34Robertson Boulevard.
00:40:35Robertson Boulevard.
00:40:36Jennifer is en route.
00:40:39I like that coat.
00:40:41They're looking on you.
00:40:42Yeah?
00:40:42Ooh, but I like that one for me.
00:40:44We're going in there.
00:40:45You want to get a matching coat?
00:40:47No.
00:40:47We should walk the whole thing and come up with a plan.
00:40:51No, I think I'm just going to go in every store.
00:40:54Excellent.
00:40:55Maybe that's the plan I'm in.
00:40:56Would you please define Hog Wild for us?
00:40:59Yes.
00:41:00That is when you can go in any store and buy any high-end fashion piece of clothing you want
00:41:04and not care how much it costs.
00:41:06Let's go.
00:41:17Let's go.
00:41:42What do you think about this one?
00:41:45Yeah, it's very cute.
00:41:46Your rack of shoes on sale, but we don't care about prices, so it doesn't matter.
00:41:55Get rid of it.
00:41:56There you go.
00:41:57Actually, I like these.
00:41:59These are super cute.
00:42:01Those are very young.
00:42:03Yeah, these are fun.
00:42:05Kind of.
00:42:05Kind of rockabilly.
00:42:07Would you do that?
00:42:07Totally.
00:42:08See, I think now we're heading in the right direction.
00:42:10You like black.
00:42:11You do.
00:42:12I do.
00:42:14Let's go try these on.
00:42:17Let's do it.
00:42:22I'm going to try this one.
00:42:23Yeah, you do.
00:42:24Try it on.
00:42:37Let's go.
00:42:37Let's go.
00:42:38What's better.
00:42:38I'm trying on some new clothes.
00:42:40Uh-huh.
00:42:41First time in a long time.
00:42:48I'm gonna turn it off, I'm gonna need to see that.
00:42:55I can't wait to wear these.
00:42:57Yes, let's go put them on.
00:43:00Especially the laundry, right?
00:43:02Mm-hmm.
00:43:03There's a lot of shopping.
00:43:07It used to be us.
00:43:10What?
00:43:12Moving at light speed, aiming for the stars.
00:43:15Brilliant light beckoning us towards a future that was never to be.
00:43:20You're so poetic, Kevin.
00:43:22Oh, my minor was English lit.
00:43:24Oh, I was there when you failed your final in Miss Urban's Muddy.
00:43:28That's not fair. That is not fair.
00:43:30Professor Ballantine headed out for me from the beginning
00:43:32because she overheard me talking about her nasty divorce.
00:43:35You always did have a way of winning people over.
00:43:37I won you over, didn't I?
00:43:38Barely!
00:43:39I think you had to ask me out, like, over 26 times.
00:43:42You were counting?
00:43:44Most guys would have taken the hint.
00:43:46I was committed.
00:43:47But aren't you happy now?
00:43:50Yeah.
00:43:52I hate to spend the rest of my life with the man I adore.
00:43:56And then end it with him.
00:43:58What more could a girl ask for?
00:43:59Mm-hmm.
00:44:06Let me see who it is.
00:44:07Who could it be?
00:44:08Oh, I wish it would not.
00:44:08Let me see.
00:44:09Is it Brian?
00:44:12Sense a little hostility?
00:44:14Okay, I have a deal for you.
00:44:16Today will be a text-free day.
00:44:18Brian will have to go 24 hours without your sage advice.
00:44:20What are you offering in return?
00:44:24I will be the most loving, wonderful wife you've ever known.
00:44:30I think you're getting the better end of the deal.
00:44:32Mm-mm.
00:44:46No, I think you are.
00:44:57Okay, what's next?
00:44:59You said you wanted to go to Vegas, right?
00:45:01I guess, yeah.
00:45:03So let's go?
00:45:03At this moment?
00:45:05Yeah.
00:45:05We can't.
00:45:06We don't have reservations.
00:45:07We just get in the car and go.
00:45:10Shouldn't we pack?
00:45:12No.
00:45:12I just bought some clothes.
00:45:13We can buy clothes there.
00:45:15We just go.
00:45:16I can live with that.
00:45:19When did you get so spontaneous?
00:45:21Maybe I always was and you just didn't notice.
00:45:24I think in four years of marriage I might have noticed.
00:45:27Well, that was a before when I thought we had a future.
00:45:30No, it doesn't really matter.
00:45:31We can just live in the moment.
00:45:35I like this new lifestyle.
00:45:38It's a bummer that it's going to be over so soon.
00:45:42That ends for everyone.
00:45:43Just know now when.
00:45:48So let's go.
00:45:49Alright.
00:45:50Let's do it.
00:45:50Vegas.
00:45:52Vegas!
00:46:00In four hours I'm going to be sitting by a pool and sipping a Mai Tai.
00:46:05This will not do.
00:46:07What?
00:46:07We need an upgrade.
00:46:10We need new wheels.
00:46:12We need new wheels.
00:46:28We need a national security for you supporting.
00:46:33Keep meditating.
00:46:34Think you can do as designed as if itはいつ Network .
00:46:38Or something is here to be.
00:46:39You think it's very entertainment that can help you.
00:46:40Like a soft label, and olurpa that you shouldn't do.
00:46:42You have no questions that are like.
00:47:18Too bad we didn't get the Lamborghini, huh?
00:47:20Yeah, we're really slowing it now.
00:47:22Yeah.
00:47:23It's okay.
00:47:24I like living out my high school muscle car fantasies.
00:47:26Yeah, just like every other red-blooded American male.
00:47:29Next thing you know, we're going to watch football and eating steak.
00:47:33Absolutely.
00:47:37So, Kevin, what's the first thing you're going to do when you get to the city of Sydney?
00:47:41I think you better turn the camera off for this answer.
00:47:43I'm thinking everyone wants to know.
00:47:45Uh-uh, this is a PG suicide log.
00:47:47I want to know.
00:47:48I think everyone wants to know.
00:47:52I'm going to shoot crap and then move on to roulette.
00:47:56Yeah, right.
00:47:57Come on.
00:47:58Honestly?
00:47:59Mm-hmm.
00:48:00This is kind of embarrassing.
00:48:01Who cares?
00:48:02We're going to be gone.
00:48:04That's true.
00:48:05All right, first, we're going to check in.
00:48:07Uh-huh.
00:48:10And then we're going to go up to the room, open the door, and then I'm going to kiss you
00:48:17passionately.
00:48:17Tell me about the kiss.
00:48:19Passionately.
00:48:20Do we really have to do this?
00:48:22Come on.
00:48:23Yes.
00:48:24Yes.
00:48:24Okay.
00:48:27Then as I throw you on the bed, I'm going to tear the clothes from you, I'm going to start
00:48:34kissing you everywhere.
00:48:36Every inch of you.
00:48:38I'm just going to work my way down every curve and rediscover your womanhood.
00:48:44Every inch.
00:48:45You're bad, Kevin Elfern.
00:48:47Bad boy.
00:48:48Okay.
00:49:19I don't just want to work my way down every curve and rediscover your womanhood.
00:49:28Well, you can see right through.
00:49:30Yeah.
00:49:32Remember what happened in this very spot?
00:49:34No.
00:49:35You don't remember?
00:49:37I do.
00:49:39You're proposing to me right over there.
00:49:41Actually, I think it was right over there.
00:49:45Did you mean what you said in the car?
00:49:47Mm-hmm.
00:49:56Well, let's not wait around here.
00:49:59I feel like this is our wedding night.
00:50:01I can't wait to see the room.
00:50:02I hope they have a jacuzzi.
00:50:04Vegas!
00:50:06Vegas!
00:50:07It's mine.
00:50:11Let's go.
00:50:12I hope it's fine.
00:50:15Oh, God.
00:50:19Right.
00:50:21Let's go.
00:52:27Let's get your diamonds.
00:52:29Yeah, let's. Real ones. These are not expensive enough.
00:52:32But we could get you a cicada. That'd be gorgeous on you.
00:52:35That's a locust.
00:52:35Right here. Isn't that the same thing?
00:52:37I'm thinking no. I'm thinking let's press on to the more expensive stuff.
00:52:40The more expensive stuff.
00:52:41Yeah, it's just not enough.
00:52:42Let's gamble.
00:52:47Come up on the fountain with me.
00:52:49And do what?
00:52:53My lady.
00:52:54Now what was it you said?
00:52:56Never chopped up.
00:52:56No, no. What did you say? You said something.
00:53:00I don't want to ever be with anyone else.
00:53:06Let's get married again.
00:53:08What? What did you say?
00:53:10I mean, take vows.
00:53:11Tell each other we're going to spend the rest of our lives with each other.
00:53:14That's what I thought you said.
00:53:16This kind of thing I can't even say I love you to meet.
00:53:18Nope.
00:53:23Oh.
00:53:24Oh.
00:53:25Kevin.
00:53:27Alpern.
00:53:28Do you love me?
00:53:29You know I do.
00:53:31Then say those three little words.
00:53:35I think you already know the answer to that.
00:53:38I think you should say it.
00:53:41I couldn't hear that one.
00:53:44Say it again.
00:53:46Attention everyone.
00:53:48I love this woman.
00:53:50I love this woman.
00:53:52I love this woman more than any man has ever loved a woman before.
00:53:58Oh my God.
00:53:59Does that work for you?
00:54:01You think that's the wine talking?
00:54:03I kept up my end of the bargain.
00:54:07You're crazy.
00:54:10Will you marry me?
00:54:14Yeah.
00:54:19Good.
00:54:20Let's go.
00:54:21I want to remove your garter belt this time.
00:54:23I didn't get to it at our first wedding.
00:54:24At our first wedding?
00:54:26Yeah.
00:54:31And here you are at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada.
00:54:35Once again in front of the altar of marriage.
00:54:38Kevin, do you take Jennifer once again to be your wedded wife?
00:54:41I do.
00:54:42And do you still promise to love and honor, respect and keep her all the days of your life?
00:54:47I do.
00:54:49Jennifer, do you take Kevin once again to be your wedded husband?
00:54:52I do.
00:54:53And do you still promise to love and honor, respect and keep him all the days of your life?
00:54:58I do.
00:54:59Father God, we thank you for Kevin and Jennifer, for their love for each other, their commitment
00:55:03to each other, and the celebration of four years of holy matrimony together.
00:55:07We ask you to continue to give them courage and strength to live up to the sacred vows
00:55:12that they are taking again here today.
00:55:14As we ask you to bless these rings that they're exchanging, and they continue to live and they
00:55:18are living.
00:55:19Amen.
00:55:21Amen.
00:55:22Amen.
00:55:33Amen.
00:55:50Amen.
00:56:21Amen.
00:56:25Look really sweet, baby.
00:56:33Happy honeymoon.
00:56:35Uh, brain hurts.
00:56:43Mm-hmm.
00:56:45Maybe we didn't need that Goldschlager,
00:56:47followed by that Jägermeister.
00:56:51That's a winning combination.
00:56:53For a hangover.
00:56:55Mm-hmm.
00:56:59How'd you end up down there?
00:57:01I think I found your knee in the night.
00:57:05Mm-hmm.
00:57:07I'd do it again.
00:57:11Mm-hmm.
00:57:15Mm-hmm.
00:57:31Hey.
00:57:34Cheers.
00:57:42Hmm.
00:57:45Jane, can we move here forever?
00:57:49Vegas is everything.
00:57:51Good food, good people, good vices.
00:57:56Where else can you get crab legs at 2 in the morning
00:57:59and then shoot traps until dawn?
00:58:01Nowhere.
00:58:01Your point?
00:58:02My point is that Vegas is paradise,
00:58:05and I don't want to leave.
00:58:10Are you serious about going through with it?
00:58:14Yes.
00:58:15I was.
00:58:16I am.
00:58:17How much longer do we have?
00:58:21I don't know.
00:58:22Give or take a month,
00:58:23depending on how much we have left on our credit cards.
00:58:26How much have we blown through?
00:58:27I'd say, like, six or eight grand.
00:58:29Six or eight grand?
00:58:32Living like rock stars is expensive, Kevin.
00:58:35Yeah, I know, but it's not like we rented jets
00:58:37or threw parties or...
00:58:42Are you having second thoughts?
00:58:46Honestly?
00:58:53No.
00:58:55I mean, kinda.
00:58:57Yeah.
00:58:59I mean, it sounded like a good idea when you came up with it.
00:59:01You think it's gonna get better?
00:59:02I don't know.
00:59:04It's not.
00:59:05We've...
00:59:06We've already gone over this.
00:59:15Would you do it without me?
00:59:17No.
00:59:18No.
00:59:21No.
00:59:23We're in this together.
00:59:28And so, Kevin and Jennifer make their way
00:59:31from the city of Osin
00:59:32onto the next leg of their adventure.
00:59:35Where will these wandering souls end up?
00:59:37The next stop of the intrepid adventurers will be...
00:59:41What's next on the list?
00:59:42Uh, I don't know.
00:59:44Let me look.
00:59:45Next on the list was African Safari,
00:59:48followed by the trip to the south of France,
00:59:51and then the outback of Australia.
00:59:53I vote outback.
00:59:55No.
00:59:55That would be diverging from the plan.
00:59:57Yeah, but we're not set in stone.
00:59:58We can diverge from the plan.
01:00:00Yeah, you know me.
01:00:00Once I make a plan, I like to stick to it.
01:00:02Yeah, you like to stick to it.
01:00:02Yeah.
01:00:04But there's all kinds of crazy diseases we could catch.
01:00:06You know?
01:00:06Like Ebola, where you bleed out all your orifices?
01:00:09No.
01:00:09They have shots for that.
01:00:10No, they don't.
01:00:11It's one of those diseases where there's no cure.
01:00:13Once you get it, you're gone.
01:00:15Oh.
01:00:19Hi, Mom.
01:00:20I'm here.
01:00:20I'm getting your room ready for you.
01:00:22Um, I don't know if we're gonna make it for Thanksgiving anymore.
01:00:25Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
01:00:26We just, we can't afford the plane tickets.
01:00:29Well, we'll miss you both very much.
01:00:31I appreciate that.
01:00:33Are you still looking for work?
01:00:34Yes, he's looking.
01:00:36No job leads yet.
01:00:37I told you.
01:00:38All right.
01:00:40I love you, too.
01:00:43You actually just lied to your mother.
01:00:45What was I supposed to tell her?
01:00:46That we're planning on offing each other and we won't be around come Turkey Day.
01:00:50Yeah, that would have played out well.
01:00:52Oh, come on. Your mom would have taken it in stride.
01:00:54Not funny.
01:01:12Good.
01:01:21Come on.
01:01:21Oh, come on.
01:01:22Oh, come on.
01:01:27Oh, come on.
01:01:29No, come on.
01:01:31Then come on.
01:01:31Ah, come on.
01:01:32Come on, I'm done.
01:01:34Oh.
01:01:35Oh, God.
01:01:38Come on.
01:01:39Oh, God.
01:01:40We're here to get a busy day.
01:01:41Oh, God.
01:03:00None of the cards are working.
01:03:09You can't cancel those cards.
01:03:11They're our cards.
01:03:11I'm sorry, sir.
01:03:12There's nothing else to do.
01:03:13Well, turn them back on.
01:03:14I can't turn them on, sir.
01:03:15I just can't.
01:03:16What do you mean you can't do that?
01:03:17You can reapply for the credit line.
01:03:18No, I'm not going to reapply.
01:03:20Those are our cards.
01:03:21I need those cards.
01:03:22I'm sorry, sir.
01:03:23There's nothing else to do.
01:03:34They can't cancel those cards.
01:03:35They're our cards.
01:03:38Aren't you the least bit upset?
01:03:42You don't seem like it.
01:03:44How are we supposed to pay for anything?
01:03:45We can't pay for Paris or the Outback or the safari with our good looks alone.
01:03:52Maybe you could because you're so pretty.
01:03:54As pretty as Beth.
01:03:56What?
01:04:04What are we going to do?
01:04:05No, Kevin.
01:04:06The question is what are you going to do about Beth having your baby?
01:04:11What are you talking about?
01:04:11Who's Beth?
01:04:13Because you got a text message from her while you were pumping gas, and she mentioned how
01:04:16nicely she's coming along and that you'd be a daddy soon.
01:04:19And I didn't think you wanted to have kids, Kevin, or was that just not with me?
01:04:23Is that it?
01:04:25No.
01:04:29When were you going to tell me you were going to be a father, huh?
01:04:32We could have thrown a party.
01:04:34It takes time to plan a baby shower, Kevin.
01:04:36You got to have some consideration for the family flying in from out of town.
01:04:40But then again, Kevin, consideration was never one of your strong suits, was it?
01:04:46Or you could have had the party local for her.
01:04:48Her family wouldn't have to fly anywhere.
01:04:50Where is she from?
01:04:52Let's see.
01:04:52Area code 609, serving all of greater Silicon Valley.
01:04:56What are you doing hooking up with a girl so far away, Kevin?
01:05:00Wouldn't you want someone closer for easier access?
01:05:05I know.
01:05:06When you were working on that condo development, your credit card bill seemed a little high.
01:05:13You know, if you're ever going to cheat on anyone again, Kevin, you should consider using
01:05:16cash for your extramarital affairs.
01:05:18That or marry a really stupid girl.
01:05:23You know, I read all of the texts, Kevin.
01:05:25I especially like the one about your love muscle.
01:05:29Or how you want to take her doggy style.
01:05:31Or how you want to have a threesome with her.
01:05:34Which you said, of course, that you didn't want to do with anyone.
01:05:36So were you lying to me, or to her, or to all of us, huh?
01:05:42God, are you even capable of being committed to one person, Kevin?
01:05:51Turn that off.
01:05:52Why, Kevin?
01:05:53Turn that off!
01:05:53Why should I?
01:05:54See, I can raise my voice too, Kevin.
01:05:56Does that help us?
01:05:56Turn it off!
01:05:59You know what?
01:06:00And to answer your question about earlier, about what are we going to do, it's not about
01:06:04we anymore, because we are getting divorced.
01:06:06Fine.
01:06:06Fine.
01:06:07Yeah, it's fine that you just act like a complete douchebag and break apart.
01:06:21Let's just go.
01:06:23Drive.
01:06:51How could you do this?
01:06:54You want to know how I could do it?
01:06:56Because I never loved you, Jennifer.
01:06:58Because how could I want to be with someone who was always needling me about everything?
01:07:02Everything had to be so planned out.
01:07:04Everything was a number.
01:07:05You know?
01:07:06There was a plan we couldn't diverge from.
01:07:09You know, there was never any spontaneity.
01:07:12You slept with someone else because I wasn't spontaneous?
01:07:16I made a mistake, all right?
01:07:18You call getting your girlfriend pregnant a mistake?
01:07:21She's not my girlfriend.
01:07:29Pull over.
01:07:30What?
01:07:31Pull over!
01:07:56Jeff, what are you doing?
01:07:57Go away, Kevin.
01:07:58You can't just walk away.
01:07:59I can do whatever I want, just like you can.
01:08:01You'll die out here.
01:08:02Good.
01:08:03Wasn't that the plan anyway?
01:08:06I'm sorry about what I said.
01:08:08Sorry about what you said or sorry about what you did?
01:08:11Both.
01:08:13What were you thinking?
01:08:18I screwed up.
01:08:19I'm sorry.
01:08:21I want a divorce.
01:08:24You're going to throw our marriage over this?
01:08:27You already did.
01:08:32Who is she?
01:08:33She's just someone I met.
01:08:36Great.
01:08:36You're having a baby with someone you don't even know?
01:08:38Are you out of your mind?
01:08:39I screwed up.
01:08:40I'm sorry.
01:08:42Me too.
01:08:44Look, it was nothing.
01:08:45It was just one time.
01:08:46It wasn't even serious.
01:08:47Great.
01:08:47Awesome.
01:08:48So obviously you're not even serious about us.
01:08:53Can we just get back in the car?
01:08:55It's freezing out here.
01:08:56Good.
01:08:56I hope you freeze to death.
01:09:04Just take me home.
01:09:22Look, I know this may not be the best time to talk about this,
01:09:25but what are we going to do about everything you spent?
01:09:28I'll pay it back.
01:09:29How?
01:09:31I don't know, Kevin,
01:09:32but I'm not going to end my life with someone
01:09:35who obviously didn't want to spend it with me.
01:09:40I do love you, Jennifer.
01:09:43Yeah, you have some twisted idea of love.
01:09:46If I didn't love you, would I want to end my life with you?
01:09:50You weren't going to do it out of love for me.
01:09:52We were both miserable.
01:09:53I was only going to go through with it because of you.
01:09:55Don't give me that.
01:09:56You're just as miserable as me.
01:09:57You were just looking for a way out,
01:09:58and I gave it to you.
01:10:00We agreed we were going to do it together.
01:10:02Yeah, well, that was before all this.
01:10:04You're going to do it alone?
01:10:06Don't worry about it, Kevin.
01:10:09What about our plans?
01:10:11I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and miserable
01:10:14than end my life with you.
01:10:15But if you want to go ahead and kill yourself,
01:10:17go ahead.
01:10:17I don't care.
01:10:18I don't care.
01:10:24I will, then.
01:10:26Fine.
01:10:28And don't expect me to feel guilty about it,
01:10:30because I won't.
01:10:32You want to know how I'm going to do it?
01:10:34No, I don't care.
01:10:35Oh, you don't care at all how I'm going to...
01:10:37No.
01:10:37And when we get back, I'm moving out.
01:10:40I'll get myself later.
01:10:41Where are you going?
01:10:43That's really none of your business, is it?
01:10:49Jen, I really think you're taking this too far.
01:10:52Just don't talk to me for the duration of this trip.
01:11:20Jennifer, wait.
01:11:21Wait.
01:11:22Just hear me out.
01:11:24Please reconsider.
01:11:25I have to go.
01:11:26Talk about this.
01:11:28I know what I did was really stupid,
01:11:29but it was never meant to be more than just a...
01:11:31Just a fling?
01:11:33I know I sound pathetic, and you hate me now, but...
01:11:36Yeah, you got that right.
01:11:37On both counts.
01:11:38Probably the smartest thing you've said all day.
01:11:43Goodbye, Kevin.
01:12:10No, you're not.
01:12:12No, no, no.
01:12:15No, no, no.
01:12:21No, no, no.
01:12:30No, no, no.
01:13:13Amen.
01:13:41Amen.
01:14:30Hey, it's Jennifer.
01:14:31You know what to do.
01:14:33Uh, hey Jennifer, it's Kevin. Uh, probably already knew that. Um, anyway, uh, just give me a call
01:14:42when you get this. It'd be great. Okay, bye.
01:14:50Hey Jennifer, you know what to do.
01:14:53Hey Jen, uh, it's me, Kevin. Um, I haven't heard from you. It's just, uh, give me a call when
01:15:02you get this.
01:15:14Hey Jen, it's Kevin. Uh, sorry to bother you. Uh, we, we, some more bills showed up. So I just,
01:15:22I was thinking that we should, uh, talk at some point. Um, hope you're doing well. Okay, okay, call me
01:15:32back. Bye.
01:15:41Hey Jennifer, you're welcome.
01:15:44Hey Jen, uh, I love you. I miss you.
01:16:08Hi, I'm Kevin Alpern. I royally screwed up. I did some really stupid things.
01:16:17Originally, Jennifer and I were going to end it together, but after careful thought, I decided to go it alone.
01:16:28I don't want to spend the rest of my life without her. I do love her. I, but that's not
01:16:33the reason I'm doing it.
01:16:35I just have that hunch that things aren't going to get better. I mean, you know my story. Credit card
01:16:41debt up the wazoo, and pretty soon I won't even be living here.
01:16:47You know, this will feel like luxury compared to what's next. I don't even want to think about the future.
01:17:04I got an eviction notice today. I thought they were going to kick me out of here.
01:17:09Well, that's the landlord. I like people who keep their promises.
01:17:27Well, I'm officially homeless now. Everything I own in one suitcase.
01:17:40It's kind of liberating in a way. No bills, no rules to follow, no responsibilities.
01:17:49Yeah, maybe. I made some mistakes. Or some very big errors in judgment.
01:18:06It'll be okay. This is my new home. Spacious, huh?
01:18:18I'm going to make the front seat the kitchen, and the back seat's going to be the living room and
01:18:24the bedroom.
01:18:37I miss her. What can I say?
01:19:02I miss you?
01:19:11I'm倍速 em'.
01:19:12I
01:19:13I'm back in the elevator. I'm back in the elevator. I swung around on my eìnck,
01:19:15I, I miss it, who I knew. Another person anyone can't hold on me.
01:20:16I've been meaning to call you.
01:20:19Really?
01:20:20Yeah, about the credit cards.
01:20:21Um, I've been getting a lot of calls about collections.
01:20:25I think we should figure out a way to pay them back.
01:20:28Yeah, we probably should.
01:20:34So, how have you been?
01:20:37I've been really good.
01:20:39Yeah?
01:20:40Yeah.
01:20:44I've been miserable.
01:20:46I got evicted from our apartment.
01:20:49I've been living in my car for a while.
01:20:53I'm actually still living in my car.
01:20:56Uh, I applied for a couple of architecture positions.
01:21:01No calls back yet, but...
01:21:05I'm really sorry, Kevin.
01:21:07Oh, don't be.
01:21:11Something to be said for downward mobility, you know?
01:21:13There's a freedom in it.
01:21:17How about you?
01:21:20Um, I got hired by a new financial planning firm.
01:21:25I had to take a pay cut, but I'm not complaining.
01:21:29That's great.
01:21:30Good.
01:21:31You deserve it.
01:21:32Congratulations.
01:21:33Yeah.
01:21:35I guess I should thank you for being a total jerk-off.
01:21:38I guess, you know, if I go along with the plan...
01:21:42I don't know.
01:21:43Hmm.
01:21:51Are you seeing anyone?
01:21:53Why do you care?
01:21:55Just wondering.
01:21:57No.
01:21:59Not that it's any of your business.
01:22:00We're separated.
01:22:02Right.
01:22:03You're totally right.
01:22:04Ugh.
01:22:04None of my business.
01:22:08Guess you're not planning on killing yourself now, huh?
01:22:11No.
01:22:11No.
01:22:12I don't know what I was thinking with that.
01:22:15I...
01:22:17I have my whole life to pay off those debts, so...
01:22:20Just figure it out.
01:22:22Move on.
01:22:26We...
01:22:26We did have a good time.
01:22:30We did.
01:22:39Well, it was really good seeing you.
01:22:42You too.
01:22:47You too.
01:22:49Jennifer.
01:22:51If there was someone I'd want to kill myself with, it would be you.
01:22:55Because I don't think I want to live my life without you.
01:22:59When you first came up with this crazy plan, I went along with it because I didn't think we would
01:23:02go through with it.
01:23:03But this time of part has reminded me why I fell in love with you.
01:23:07Why I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:23:11Jennifer, if you can find any way to forgive me, I will do anything in my power to make it
01:23:16up to you.
01:23:17Oh, I love you so much, Jennifer.
01:23:20I love you too, Kevin.
01:23:30I would like to say that's what I said to her.
01:23:34But I didn't.
01:23:36Good luck with your new position.
01:23:38Hey, things will get better.
01:23:40Keep your head up.
01:23:49Hey, things will get better.
01:24:10And if I don't, I don't like that.
01:24:10My wife cries out.
01:24:11I'm not a great person.
01:24:19Jennifer moved on with her life, you know, workaholic that she is, she rose at her job
01:24:25and fell in love with someone that deserved her.
01:24:33As for me, I stuck to the plan.
01:24:52See how the moon looks good on you See how the light is a color blue
01:25:07And all I feel is so much faith From learning how to survive
01:25:16And all I got is one more chance I hope it doesn't die
01:25:24We were colored blue All on me
01:25:32All on you
01:25:34Color blue
01:25:36Fall on me
01:25:40Fall into you
01:26:00See how the air is white and cold
01:26:09The lines on her face Mean she's getting old
01:26:16And all I feel is so much hope From learning how to survive
01:26:24And all I got is one last dance I hope it ends tonight
01:26:36The color blue
01:26:39All on me
01:26:58I'm never on time I'm never too late
01:27:06I'm never too shy I'm never too safe
01:27:14But nothing is real Our love is not fake
01:27:22Always a big deal
01:27:24Always a big deal
01:27:25So give me a break
01:27:34Like a runaway train To the other side
01:27:42Like a runaway train To the other side
01:27:43Just trying to get a little sunshine
01:28:15Like a runaway train to get There's something new
01:28:17The things you need to go
01:28:18Like a runaway train
01:28:20Like a runaway train
01:28:22Like a runaway train
01:28:24Like a runaway train
01:28:25Is that a runaway train
01:28:31Is that a runaway train
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