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00:12You
00:20We're ready for you miss Gordon
00:23In the last week my life has certainly changed I was nearly overthrown by these two brothers
00:29Still can't believe I forgave them and if that wasn't enough. I find out. I have another brother this little
00:35guy
00:36Yep, God knows what his deal is gonna be
00:39Can I get you anything else? Okay, thank you
00:41And as my dad once said when you show your ass in public go on TV and talk about it
00:48We are here with the Gordon family and their newest addition Jackie Marino
00:52Thanks to everybody for taking the time to talk today. Let's start with you Isla
00:56What were your thoughts when you first heard that your father Jack Gordon had a secret love child with the
01:02housekeeper?
01:03Definitely shocked honestly rich. It was devastating
01:07but then
01:09Very happy okay a lot of people in your position you would think would just pay him to disappear
01:14No, it didn't work for us because we're against it because we love Jackie
01:19Isla's right. We love our nuevo hermano mucho mucho using duolingo and sandy
01:26You're no longer the youngest brother. Yes, and that's fine. That is fine. I'm the CFO
01:30I don't need to be the cute little baby now
01:33Isla this couldn't be coming at a worse time your brother cams indiscretions have landed him in rehab
01:37You've inherited a team that's off to its worst start in a decade
01:40I don't know if you're aware, but las vegas has set the odds of an isla gordon meltdown at three
01:45to one. Oh, okay
01:48You're right rich. We are at a crossroads, but as I see it
01:52Jackie joining the family couldn't have come at a better time
01:54You know rich if I may when god puts one brother in rehab. He brings you a new one from
01:59concessions
02:00So Jackie what is next for you? I got to keep my job. So probably just do that
02:05Wait, so you find out you're part of one of the wealthiest families in los angeles and you just go
02:09back to selling peanuts and popcorn
02:12He is not gonna be a vendor. He's gonna be my intern an internship not an intern and an assistant
02:20executive assistant senior executive assistant
02:23To the president. Oh, that is one long job title
02:28That is some nepotism. I can get behind congratulations jackie. You see this is nice
02:34Little bastard son accepted into family in slovenia. He live in shed. Hold up. Yo, what the fuck is this?
02:41Sephora? I mean first she doesn't trade me next
02:43She makes us wear this girly shit on our jerseys. Marcus. Are you cool with this?
02:47As long as the check clears
02:49If I sell out, I want to sell out on my terms. I mean, what's she gonna make us do
02:53next take tampons to our heads?
02:55You know what?
02:57Give me a sharpie
03:00What you gonna do?
03:20Oh
03:22Jackie, how's it going? You ready for your first day at work?
03:25Oh, yeah, I woke up at 3 a.m. to make sure I have plenty of time to get ready
03:30I'm actually really tired. Yeah, don't be nervous. You're gonna do great. Look you already found your desk. Yeah
03:35Okay, see you later. Oh, wait, uh, is there anything I should know about like being your assistant?
03:41Actually, I've never had an assistant
03:44But I'm super low maintenance
03:46Okay
03:54Whoa mama
03:57That's nuts
03:59We got to talk
04:00Hold on
04:01Jackie, you can't just let people barge into my office like this because I could be doing something very private
04:06Like looking at your blackheads. Yes, exactly. Thank you. You can go now and book me a facial
04:12We got a problem. Look at this
04:15Hey, yo shout out our new sponsor, but the only lipstick i'm interested in is when it's rubbed off on
04:24my dick
04:25That little shit
04:27Ow
04:28Ow
04:28What the hell?
04:31It's uh, cam's drug shelf. Someone should really get rid of that
04:34Jackie. Oh, are you okay? Get gloria shaw on the phone. She's a cmo of sephora. Oh, she's actually called
04:40twice
04:41What? Why didn't you put her through? Well, the first time I didn't know how to transfer the call
04:45So I accidentally hung up on her and just now you were talking to ness and sandy
04:49So I said we'd call her tomorrow or something jackie sephora pays the waves millions of dollars
04:53If gloria shaw wants to talk to me you drag me out of brain surgery. Okay, of course. I'm so
04:59sorry
05:00Well, go get her on the phone right now
05:02Oh, one thing. How do I get an outside line and how do I turn my computer on?
05:08Okay, fine. I'll call her gloria you have every right to be upset. I'm gonna take care of this right
05:12now
05:14Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, how's it going great?
05:18I just got ripped a new asshole by a woman on the forbes under 40 list
05:21I take it sephora saw the travis video. Yeah, and now I must kill him. Whoa, whoa, that's your plan
05:27No, I'm going to scream at him in front of everybody dehumanize him and then I will force him to
05:32make a public apology
05:33Okay, so I see you're running things from the jack gordon playbook
05:36Hey, he won a lot of championships screaming at people
05:38You know when your father acted that way the players feared him if you do the same they will hate
05:43you
05:43The world is a sexist place. I know this already. I'm just saying I know these guys
05:47And I know how they act oh, and you're telling me to just smile and take it
05:51No, no, but we can't afford any more missteps this season. There are other less volatile ways to get the
05:57same result
05:59Fine
06:01Can you call travis over here, please? Yes
06:05Travis
06:06Travis
06:08So somebody get in what's up? Yeah, what's up with you?
06:15Anyways, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. So maybe we should get to know each other
06:19better for real. Yeah, for real
06:22How about dinner for you tonight?
06:24Uh, I was supposed to go to the stew to cook up with smoke perp and then bad baby was
06:30gonna come by to spit
06:31But uh, yeah, I could do that
06:33Great i'll be in touch now. See you later
06:38Damn you just ate it
06:40Are you all right?
06:42Just too clean
06:44Smudge them up or something
06:48Good morning los angeles waves isla gordon's office. This is jackie moreno speaking. How may I assist you today?
06:55Uh, that is way too long. Just say isla gordon's office. Got it. I need a dinner reservation for me
07:00and travis tonight somewhere nice
07:02I'm on it bucaribepo universal city walk what no
07:06I don't want to look at optimus prime at my business dinner someplace nice like in beverly hills. Okay, no
07:13optimus prime
07:14What about bumblebee?
07:21Oh
07:21Nice new highlights for the office always good to get a look at it before it gets covered in strep.
07:26Oh god. Oh shit. You okay?
07:28What what's going on?
07:29It's stuck. It's stuck. All right. It's stuck. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
07:32You gotta calm down. I'm a doctor. Well, you're not a surgeon. Just open. Do you want me to help
07:37you or not?
07:37Open the well, I can't take your finger out. All right, you gotta open it. Are my lashes gone?
07:42Are they gone? All of them. You seem so stressed out. What is going on?
07:47I've got my first dinner with a player and it's travis and he's the most annoying one
07:51So yeah, i'm a little scared i'm gonna stab him with a fork. All right. Well, let's talk it out
07:56What would your dad do?
07:59He'd order two giant steaks do some coke get a couple hookers and then go
08:03Have sex with them or something. All right. Well, that's not you except for maybe the hookers
08:07Sorry, sex workers. Look, you have nothing to worry about. You are so good socially
08:14You talked to my cousin last week for like 45 minutes about her etsy store and she sucks. She sucks.
08:19Yeah, she does
08:19Yeah, it's nothing but yarn. Look, be yourself and
08:23Most importantly, no spaghetti. No or any long noodle. You just you don't eat pasta pretty. Yeah
08:39Yo, yo
08:40Hi
08:41You're late. Yeah, my bad. I left late. Is it cool if I think
08:46Not really good evening. I'm the sommelier. Do we have any questions? Oh, yo, i'm actually going there next summer
08:53Going where sommelier? Yeah, i'm going on tour with kodak black and sniper game. We're going around the whole horn
08:58of africa
08:59It's sommelier
09:00He he's a nevermind the fastest bottle of red wine you have please
09:06They have white people in sommelier
09:09I tell these hoes I like you, but I don't need you gotta be out by six
09:14I can't feed you and then the gospel singers are like he can't feed you
09:18He can't feed you and it pulls out and I'm wearing all white, but with the chef's hat, please
09:24It's a good rap, but you must all right listen
09:28I wanted to have dinner tonight because I think you're so important to this team and it's not because you're
09:33a great player
09:34It's because I believe you have the potential to be a great leader
09:38Well, um
09:40Cam definitely never took me to a nice dinner, but him and marcus got their own table at mastro's
09:47Who's marcus?
09:51Look travis you're an integral part of this organization and when you disrespect one of our partnerships
09:58That affects all of us
10:01So i'm gonna need you to issue a public apology
10:08Fuck it
10:10Is that like a good fuck it yeah i'll apologize oh
10:15Thank you
10:17I'm so happy. Thank you travis. I can't even tell you like the stress that i've been oh
10:23Oh, shit
10:25You're right. Oh, what the fuck
10:30I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't um sorry
10:35Jackie what was that restaurant? I knew you'd like it
10:39I did a google search for fancy restaurants plus los angeles plus intimate conversation
10:44Yeah, yeah, it got real intimate when he shoved his tongue down my throat. Oh my
10:50God i'm sorry. Do you want me to leave a bad review on yelp?
10:53No, I don't want you to leave a yelp review jackie. I want you to do something right
11:08Good morning, fuck up
11:10Hello, miss lilly
11:12Whoa, whoa i'm sorry clearly did she fire you no, but i'm quitting i suck at this job
11:18Ayla gave me this amazing opportunity and i'm blowing it. Oh, come on jack you're not quitting. Yes, I am
11:22before i bring down the entire organization
11:24Okay, first of all you're not that important secondly when I started here
11:28I sucked like you and I was jack gordon's assistant. He threw so many ashtrays at me
11:32I still smell like chester fields, but I don't know what i'm doing. I have to go before I disappoint
11:37isla again
11:40All right, god damn it i'll help you really yes. Oh, thank you truly
11:46Can you show me how to turn on my computer?
11:49I'll do more than that. I'll show you how to deal with rich people
11:53Uh, here she comes. I think i'm gonna throw up. No, you're not. Okay, first up breakfast red bull strawberry
11:58pop-tart. No frosting go
12:01Ah
12:08Is he afraid of me we're working on it
12:12Okay, look I need to know it's a horny 35 year old mom who's been married for 12 years
12:16Was there any part of travis kissing you that was hot? No, he tasted like mango vape juice and I
12:22could still feel the holes from where his
12:23Tongue stub used to be ugh
12:25Well, the good news is I wrote travis an apology and it is stunning. I kept it simple the sponsor
12:30will love us again crisis averted
12:32Thank you
12:33And i'll never talk to another player ever again
12:35I just hope no one saw us
12:37Did you hook up with travis bug?
12:39What?
12:39Why are you saying that it's all over twitter you mean x i'm not calling it x it's twitter
12:44Just read her the x you showed me. I will show her the tweet
12:47I was at verdale last night and saw isla gordon hooking up with travis bug shock face drool face water
12:53spouting
12:53That's ejaculate come travis
12:57Got the wrong idea and kissed me nothing else. Oh my god. There's 500 retweets re-exes
13:04How do we deal with what do we do here? Okay, listen, no one knows this except for sandy
13:08But in addition to my official twitter account, I have a burner account
13:12Dirty boy wave 69. Wait, why you're not famous. Well, yeah, but i'm not not famous
13:16You know, I can get 40 bucks for a bidet message on cameo some of which goes to charity get
13:20to the pointness
13:20The point is I use it to plant stories and call bullshit on stuff that I can as a gm
13:24It has been helpful in some contract negotiations. Thank you. So I reply to the tweet call it bullshit
13:30And viola it goes away. Voila
13:32I don't know sounds sneaky and
13:35Blame yeah, no look travis just needs to apologize to sephora and we move on ignore the noise
13:40Yeah, so uh yesterday I posted a very hurtful and inappropriate picture of the
13:47venerated wave jersey travis were you and isla gordon at a romantic dinner last night
13:52I don't know what you're talking about a witness posted online that they saw you two kissing um look
14:00I'm just finna focus on so you're not refuting it
14:03I'm not what you're not refuting it. Oh, no, he does not know what refute means refuting it
14:09No, I'm not refuting it. I'm not refuting it in the strongest manner possible. Oh my god. We got to
14:16stop him
14:18Ow
14:19Fucking drug shelf is she a beautiful woman?
14:21Yes, what I hit I refute to say I wouldn't be
14:25Respectfully
14:26Yeah, there he is engaged. Huh? What a guy
14:28That's it for today. We're gonna get ready for finish. Is it serious?
14:30No, no, nothing serious all fun basketball best game in the world
14:35What the hell was that I mean, yo, they surprised me travis we need you to go back out there
14:40and tell them that nothing happened between you and isla
14:42Well
14:44Something happened
14:46I've tried it your way. Sorry jay. I would rather
14:50Lick a dead possum than kiss your clown ass now
14:53You are going to go back out there and tell them the truth or you will be suspended
14:59You're the one who invited me to that restaurant verdale
15:02Oh wait verdale downtown me and my ex used to go there for our anniversary. Okay. It was all a
15:06mistake
15:07Jackie made the reservation saying all this nice shit to me you put your hand on mine
15:11Your titties was out. What? Okay. I it was a button-down blouse. I have worn that to funerals
15:18How many um how many buttons wearing that? I don't know two
15:22This was not my fault. Are you going to go out there and fix this?
15:28No
15:30One week suspension get up
15:40I have a very important phone call to make so no one follow me
15:45Motherfucker god damn piece of shit
15:48Ah stupid ungrateful use of mine
15:50I'm gonna kill you son of a bitch
15:53We need to get our office soundproofed look into that
15:56Which is a perfect segue to our first lesson
15:59You need to not just anticipate what your boss needs but also things she doesn't know she needs
16:03Like what like when isla tells you she's starting a cleanse you hand her a cheeseburger by 2 p.m
16:07Because she will be starving cheeseburger got it
16:10Oh, and don't eat cheetos at your desk. You're getting orange dust everywhere. Isla is a blonde white woman
16:14She stains very easily. I'm I'm sorry. Okay, uh anything else
16:18Current event podcasts you need to listen to them every morning and they give her the cliff notes
16:22She thinks nato is a european basketball league
16:26Why aren't you writing any of this down?
16:28Go back to florida you piece of crap
16:30Let's see if we can get this uh glass frosted too. No one wants to see your cheap ass hatches
16:35Welcome to co-pilot arena home of your los angeles ways
16:41Well, I understand mitch. Okay, I understand. Yeah, I know it's your right, but you're wrong
16:46Travis's agent says they're gonna peel the suspension of the league great the longer this drags on the worse it
16:51looks and this is cute
16:52It's now being called a lover's quarrel what?
16:56Who's saying that? Oh, just a little company called espn
16:59We don't nip this in the bud. I I think you just got to commit to dating him. I am
17:03engaged to left
17:04May I once again propose using my burner account to shut this down. No one is out there denying this.
17:09No
17:10No, it's too ridiculous to even discuss we deprive it of oxygen. It will die
17:15Yeah, well at least cleveland's the worst team in the league, so we should beat them even without travis
17:21And the waves dropped another one tonight
17:24Notably absent from the game was travis bug suspended by the team after being spotted canoodling with isla gordon on
17:33a personal note
17:33I don't get to use the word canoodling a lot. So thanks to travis and isla for that
17:39It goes without saying that this is complete
17:41Bullshit right yeah, I know
17:45Still wasn't great when my 10 year old patient called me dr. Cuck
17:48But i'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's not fair. No look. It's it's okay
17:54I guess I just didn't think this was gonna be part of the job, but i'll be fine
18:00Thanks for understanding
18:11Mom oh jesus oh
18:15Hey, what's up? It's not a good time are you talking to your sister?
18:19It's okay. She doesn't care. No, that's gross man. Oh god
18:23Come on. I told you I have an emergency at work. I hope what do you want
18:27Use the burner. Oh, yeah, okay. I'm on it
18:32My cousin is a waiter at verdal and literally served isla gordon and travis bug last night
18:38And literally nothing happened between them, but a normal dinner
18:43And literally they left separately. Do you think you're saying literally too much?
18:48That's how my burner character talks. I gotta go. I gotta finish with them to it
18:53Gross no way miss you missed your chance. Oh, come on, please. Thanks a lot isla
19:00Hi, this is the hottest restaurant in la mother wolf. How can I help you?
19:04Yes, I'd like to make a reservation for two please at 7 p.m. Tonight. Fuck you. Goodbye. Wait, wait
19:10It's for isla gordon president of the waves. Um, i'm a gay guy from west hollywood
19:14I don't care call me back when it's a deed. Damn it. I hate that guy. Look not everyone loves
19:20basketball jackie
19:22But everyone loves great seats to basketball games and your superpower unlimited access to them
19:28That's crazy. Wait, why didn't ness just post that his cousin's a waiter at verdal
19:33Maybe he meant to post it from a different account. Oh shit. He just deleted it
19:38And posted on his burner account. Jesus christ ness
19:41He did it really fast. Maybe no one will notice a fake burner account
19:47This is humiliating not just for ness gordon, but for the entire family. You gotta wonder did isla gordon put
19:53her brother up to this
19:55How could you do this? I was in the middle of having sex you spend most of your day on
19:59x?
19:59How are you so bad at it? It's called twitter and at least my plan was better than your plan
20:03Which was nothing as always. This is so stupid. What is the plan? Here's a plan. Don't kiss the player.
20:09You know
20:09I didn't do that. I don't know that. Yes, you do
20:11I feel like I am. Are you out of your fucking mind? Excuse me. Ayla, there is someone here to
20:14see you. Can you give us a second jackie, please?
20:16Velcro. I'm pretty sure you're gonna want to talk to them. Whoever it is can wait
20:23We need to talk. Yep, please
20:28I would love to but I can't my knees hurt too much
20:34You know why? Because you went on a long hike. I played the entire second half last night
20:40I haven't done that in two years all because you suspended travis
20:43Well, if travis needs to miss a game or two because he needs to grow up then that's what has
20:47to happen. I'm 36 years old
20:49I can't be playing 40 minutes a night. Oh, so this is just about you. Oh, yeah
20:52This is my team. No, you are just the best player on the team, but you're so checked out
20:56I'm surprised you even notice that there's a player missing. What am I supposed to do about it? This Marcus?
21:01Nothing
21:02The old Marcus the one who won two titles with us
21:06He'd step up maybe talk to his teammate about respecting our sponsors. I don't know sound crazy
21:16I get paid to play that's it
21:20Well, if you want to play less then you have to leave
21:29Okay, final scenario isla tells you she ran into gwyneth paltrow at the brentwood country mart
21:34What do you do? I call marissa? That's gwyneth's personal get the goop office address not her home address because
21:41isla's not a stalker
21:42I send her a dozen white camellios with a note that says so great running into you. Let's grab lunch
21:47Are you making the reservation? No, that would be thirsty, but I do add her to the christmas card list
21:53That is correct
21:57Nope never dab ever
22:01Get ready for the second wave you see the bear you see the bear shoot it shoot it with the
22:05crossbow
22:06Shoot it with the crossbow got him coming through the windows over here. Suits face that way. I need ammo.
22:10Oh shit. It's katsuya. Fuck keep playing
22:17Oh, shit
22:19Sorry for the mess. Uh, my cleaning lady quit snakes were scared
22:26Man will you just sit
22:29I didn't know you were big on uh
22:32Visiting teammates i'm not i haven't been to a teammate's house since the sopranos finale cool you want to
22:41watch something
22:43No
22:44You need to get your shit together all that shit talking and social media that's not what we do all
22:50that matters is basketball
22:53That's easy for you to say
22:55What's that supposed to mean man you're headed to the hall of fame i got no hops i'm not that
23:00fast and my jumper is
23:02Mid i mean best case scenario i grow my brand and get a victoria's secret model pregnant
23:08I mean that's all i got
23:11No
23:13You also got
23:15Good instincts on the court off the court your instincts the dog shit when you're playing
23:21The whole team has energy and everybody gets easy buckets especially me let me remind you
23:26It's still about me
23:32Look man you got a good career ahead of you and nothing is better for your brand than winning
23:42Yeah
23:43You're not fuck my shit up can't be playing the whole game anymore yeah i got you
23:49And you need to sweat for this place
23:52Sephora is a great company
23:54I was rude to call it sephora ass
23:58At first i thought their stuff was mostly for women
24:03Then i remembered
24:04My mom's a woman
24:05I only hope sephora and the waves can forgive me for my
24:11transgression
24:13Which means fuck up and uh we can move on with our harmonious corporate partnership
24:19Look, I also just want to say I did not have sex with isla gordon
24:22Okay, not even a little bit first of all she's my boss
24:26Okay, and for two respectfully
24:30Uh, that shit's old if she was much older that'd be hot like helen mirren or younger obviously
24:38But uh, she's just kind of in that gray area that just doesn't really do it for me
24:43All right, um, but with that being said
24:46I hope she finds love
24:48It's like watching winston churchill
24:50Now I see why you're so attracted to him
24:52Wow, why do you look so hot?
24:54Well, don't sound so shut
24:56Sorry, I just didn't realize I was engaged to jewish chris evans over here
25:01Could just say chris evans
25:02Uh, regardless
25:04I am taking you to mother wolf
25:07How did you score that reservation?
25:09I didn't
25:09Jackie did
25:13What?
25:14The cocaine shelf is gone
25:16Jackie
25:18Did you do this?
25:19Uh, I noticed you kept injuring yourself on this
25:21So I came in early and I got rid of it
25:23Thank you
25:24And thank you for the dinner reservation
25:27You know, maybe I'm a little more high maintenance than I thought
25:31No way
25:32Oh, also I promised to host us floor seats when we're in the playoffs
25:36What?
25:37Should I not have done that?
25:41We'll deal with it later
25:42Good job
25:52I can't believe this promise
25:54I can't believe this promise
25:56I can't believe this promise
25:56Like Jesus said to do
25:57Tell me what the world will come to
26:05So many people hung and dying everywhere
26:10There's enough to go around but no one seems to care
26:14I'm crowded cities
26:16And the poison in the streams
26:19We see the world divided on our television screens
26:24Tell me that's what we're gonna do
26:29Tell me what this world is coming to
26:34Tell me what the world is coming to
26:39Tell me about the change the world is going through
26:43I can't believe this promise
26:46Like Jesus said to do
26:49Tell me what the world is coming to
27:09Go to bed.
27:23Go to bed.
27:58Go to bed.
28:28Go to bed.
28:58Go to bed.
29:21Go to bed.
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