- 57 minutes ago
L'Infermiera (1975) commedia all'italiana film [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:27To be continued...
00:00:56To be continued...
00:01:12To be continued...
00:01:26To be continued...
00:01:32Allow me to introduce myself.
00:01:35I'm the old fool that left the windshield wipers running.
00:01:39The Honorable Leonida Botticine.
00:01:42A well-known producer of fine wines.
00:01:44Man of flawless virtue.
00:01:46Age.
00:01:47Old enough to know better.
00:01:49Widower.
00:01:50Got that?
00:01:51Widower.
00:01:52And it's thanks to that particular detail that our little tale begins in such a morbid setting.
00:01:58Because ever since the unhappy day, my incomparable better half departed for the great beyond,
00:02:05I made it my habit to come here, disconsolate and inconsolable, every Wednesday and Saturday to leave flowers on her
00:02:11tomb.
00:02:13That's the reason why, on that particular Wednesday, my adoring nephews, advised by the gravekeeper's wife over the fall that
00:02:21I had taken ill,
00:02:23dropped their pressing obligations and hastened to the consecrated ground, frantic with worry and despair.
00:02:44Hell, that for leather, perfect submarine weather.
00:02:46If you see the enemy shout, that's all over and out.
00:03:11I'm sorry Benito, forgive me, wait a minute, I'll clean you off.
00:03:15Stop it, Gustavo, you're making it worse.
00:03:19Ah, look at this, the old pool.
00:03:20Doesn't he know any better?
00:03:21He'll run down the batters.
00:03:28It's very well for him to bring flowers to pour all day, but not in a pouring rain.
00:03:33God rest yourself.
00:03:34Search him right.
00:03:35Dirty old man.
00:03:36And just when he was taking it slower, remember when she first died, he brought her flowers every day, every
00:03:41single day.
00:03:42Lilies, no less.
00:03:43Daisies were good enough for him.
00:03:44Oh no, five years of lilies and 300 lire apiece, a small fortune.
00:03:47And at home, he's so cheap, he won't even let us eat the swimming pool.
00:03:50Holy mother of Jesus, please hurry, he's up here.
00:03:56He's in here.
00:03:58Please hurry.
00:04:07Uncle Leonida.
00:04:09Oh, take him away, there's no time to lose.
00:04:13Hurry.
00:04:14What's happened?
00:04:15Where does it hurt you?
00:04:17Who got him up here?
00:04:18He came up by himself.
00:04:20He knows the way.
00:04:21Ah, I see.
00:04:22He felt sick and knocked his tomb and came up here looking for help.
00:04:26Actually, when he came up, he felt fine like he always does.
00:04:30Then what?
00:04:31It doesn't matter.
00:04:32Just get him out of his house, quickly.
00:04:35Good Lord, woman.
00:04:36Can't you see the condition he's in?
00:04:38This could be a heart attack.
00:04:40He has to stay quiet.
00:04:41But my husband's coming in, he's back in.
00:04:44Ah, your husband will understand.
00:04:46He understands what I understand.
00:04:48We're in trouble.
00:04:49Pussy.
00:04:51Pussy.
00:04:52Pussy.
00:04:52Pussy.
00:04:53The poor old darling, he loved it so much.
00:05:11Apparently, it was thought best not to wait for the ambulance.
00:05:14I was rushed into the car and driven home, where the real reason I had taken ill was not revealed.
00:05:21And here, while Dr. Pavan concerned himself with my heart,
00:05:25the local priest, Reverend Attilio, gave me the last rites
00:05:30and then desperately set about trying to save my soul with the rosary.
00:05:35They were all there.
00:05:37The entire household staff, Nanne and Tosca,
00:05:41my poor departed Ramona's nephew, Gustave, retired colonial military officer,
00:05:47and her two nieces, that flighty little baggage, Yole,
00:05:51and her dim-wit sister, Yole,
00:05:54who made the mistake of marrying and out of work wine-taster, Benito Verrotto,
00:05:59and unfortunately brought him into the house, too.
00:06:02And this one here, crying, is Adonis, Yole's son.
00:06:07And the less said about that, the better.
00:06:34What's he doing, speaking?
00:06:37I can't imagine, I've got a swan.
00:06:50Yeah, pussy, he's saying pussy, it was his pet name.
00:06:54He's right, yes, he's right.
00:06:55Poor Anthony Ramona.
00:06:56He always was fond of pussy.
00:06:58He can't.
00:06:59Thank you, Maria, Mother, for nobis peccatoribus et nuc in or mortis nostre. Amen.
00:07:07Ave Maria, grazie a plena Dominus tecum benedicta tua,
00:07:10mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tua, Iesus.
00:07:13Santa Maria, Mother, for nobis peccatoribus et nuc in or mortis nostre. Amen.
00:07:23Requi aeternam donaeis domine lux perpetua.
00:07:30Doctor, for God's sake, tell us something.
00:07:35I'm sorry, unfortunately, there's not much to say.
00:07:38It'll be a miracle if he lasts through the night.
00:07:40Isn't there anything we can do?
00:07:42Pray.
00:07:44That's what I was doing.
00:07:47Requi aeternam donaeis domine.
00:07:49Benito Varato, Bontocin and Company, Incorporated here.
00:07:52I want to speak with Mr. Kitsch.
00:07:54That's right. Thank you.
00:07:56They're putting him on the line now.
00:07:58Hello. Hello.
00:08:00Mr. Kitsch, good night.
00:08:02Good morning. I mean, good afternoon.
00:08:04You remember me, don't you? Benito Varato.
00:08:07Yes. No, no, not Pagotto.
00:08:09Tarotto.
00:08:10Yes, that's the one.
00:08:12Listen, remember that thing we were talking about?
00:08:14Can you talk about it now?
00:08:16Wonderful, wonderful.
00:08:19No, actually, the old man hasn't actually changed his mind.
00:08:22He's changed his life.
00:08:23He's changed his life.
00:08:24His life is in danger.
00:08:26Well, what can you do?
00:08:28Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.
00:08:30Tomorrow morning.
00:08:31Perfect. Yeah, yeah, we'll expect.
00:08:36Nani?
00:08:37Yeah?
00:08:37I'm scared.
00:08:39Come on, nobody's going to come down here at this hour.
00:08:41I know, that's why. You could be Jack the Rape.
00:08:43Well, you could be Joan of Arc.
00:08:47We're going to drink to the health of the old man.
00:08:49And to hell with the rest of the stingy family.
00:09:23How about me?
00:09:25If you want a drink, you know the price.
00:09:27No, it's too cold down here.
00:09:29The wine will warm you up.
00:09:37Then give me a drink.
00:09:39First things first.
00:09:41You can't fool me.
00:09:44Item number one, take off your sweater.
00:09:47No.
00:09:58Give it here.
00:10:04It's like velvet.
00:10:06If you think that's good, try some of this.
00:10:08It tastes like fire.
00:10:10Tosca.
00:10:13Give me some.
00:10:14Ah, your blousey.
00:10:20No.
00:10:34Thief, thief, thief, thief.
00:10:44I'll show you what orgy means.
00:10:46You imbecile, go to your room.
00:10:47You imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile,
00:11:03you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile,
00:11:05you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile,
00:11:06you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile,
00:11:11you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbecile, you imbe
00:11:27Thank you, Mr. Kitch, as I was saying, we the Count's heirs.
00:11:41And very kind of you.
00:12:07And with all due respect, of course, but his business notions are old-fashioned and he refuses to change.
00:12:13In the meantime, the conglomerates, like you were teaching us, you can't function any longer as a one-horse outfit,
00:12:18no?
00:12:19And because drinkers want to drink.
00:12:21The consumer of great wine is a thing of the past.
00:12:25The age of the blend is at hand.
00:12:29A drop of patissin is a drop in a bucket.
00:12:33But it's our wine that can make your vermouth worth drinking.
00:12:39Okay, Mr. Fagotto.
00:12:42Since we're all in agreement.
00:12:43Oh, you Americans, you're marvelous.
00:12:49Always right to the point.
00:12:52We have a saying, time is money.
00:12:57Oh, time is money.
00:12:58Oh, that's good.
00:12:59There's one small point.
00:13:01We're all in agreement, except the deceased.
00:13:05Oh, his demise is expected any minute now.
00:13:14You're saying, he isn't dead.
00:13:18Oh, yes, for all intents and purposes.
00:13:21I mean, it's only a matter of an hour at most.
00:13:25For all I know, maybe it's already happened.
00:13:32If you'll allow me, I'll just check.
00:13:39Hello, Tosca, I'd like to speak to Madame.
00:13:44Did you send the flowers?
00:13:48To my wife?
00:13:49No, sir, not yet.
00:13:50I'll do it this afternoon.
00:13:52Good.
00:13:53Lilies, remember?
00:13:56White lilies.
00:13:59Is that you, Italian?
00:14:06Oh, in a coma.
00:14:08What does the doctor say?
00:14:1136 hours.
00:14:14Can he guarantee that?
00:14:17It's really the end.
00:14:21That's, well...
00:14:2336 hours.
00:14:25So now, with each hour, his death gets closer.
00:14:50Optimistic, yes.
00:14:51But with reservation.
00:14:52He's outlived the 36 hour prognosis.
00:14:55And this gives us reason for hope.
00:14:57There's no question.
00:14:58But that doesn't mean the battle's over.
00:15:01A second attack would be fatal.
00:15:04Fatal?
00:15:05Fatal.
00:15:05Yes, fatal.
00:15:06It's a Damocles sword over our heads.
00:15:08I would hazard to say a great deal depends on you.
00:15:12On us?
00:15:12Yes, indeed.
00:15:13And nobody else.
00:15:15Imagine that your uncle was already dead and born all over again.
00:15:20He needs to be treated like a newborn child.
00:15:23It's like you're keeping him in a nursery.
00:15:25He mustn't be left alone, even for an instant.
00:15:29I personally recommend that you take on specialized assistance.
00:15:34Such as?
00:15:35I'm speaking about a registered nurse who would be on duty 24 hours a day
00:15:39and who'd know what to do in case of emergency.
00:15:43A registered nurse.
00:15:44Oh, that's a good idea.
00:15:46Then it's agreed.
00:15:50How's Uncle Leonida?
00:15:52Ask me, he'll outlive all of us, you included.
00:15:55Is it true, Mama?
00:15:56He's better.
00:16:02Well, what's with all the long faces?
00:16:05He's over the hump.
00:16:09I'll be back this evening.
00:16:12I'll be...
00:16:12Thank you, Doctor.
00:16:13...back this evening.
00:16:14Renita.
00:16:14Goodbye, Doctor.
00:16:16Bye-bye.
00:16:18Ta-ta.
00:16:29Why am I going to tell the American?
00:16:44What the hell story can I make?
00:16:45Tell the American.
00:16:46What are you kidding me, you kids?
00:16:48I got some fraud and fraud!
00:16:5036 hours he gives him, not 35 or 37.
00:16:55Fraud!
00:16:57He'll push her!
00:16:59Charlatan!
00:17:00He doesn't know a hangnail from a hernia.
00:17:03Please, Benito, don't be well done.
00:17:05Don't bring my balls to sleep.
00:17:06But Benito, it's not the doctor's fault if he's not dead yet.
00:17:09But Benito, it's not the doctor's fault if he's not dead yet.
00:17:12He'll outlive every one of us.
00:17:15The American will have to learn patience like everyone else.
00:17:18Are you crazy?
00:17:18You can't insist on patience when we're the ones who want to unload the company.
00:17:22What am I going to say to Mr. Kitsch?
00:17:24What do you want to do, kill uncle?
00:17:33There's nothing to do but wait and hope.
00:17:41A watched pot never boils.
00:17:44Well, I'll say one thing now that he's out of danger.
00:17:49Uncle Leonida is a sneak.
00:17:51At home it's all prayers and rosaries, but outside.
00:17:53The dirty old man was in nothing but his socks and shirt.
00:17:57With a grave keeper's wife.
00:18:00And in the same cemetery as poor Aunt Ramona.
00:18:04The old bastard's got no morals at all.
00:18:09Dinner's getting cold.
00:18:11Dinner can wait.
00:18:13Tosca!
00:18:15Yes, sir?
00:18:17Has the count ever tried to?
00:18:20You know what I mean.
00:18:22It must know.
00:18:25Don't be embarrassed girl, out with it.
00:18:26Well, only once, just after the countess passed away.
00:18:30But auntie's still warm in her grave.
00:18:32But I couldn't resist.
00:18:34He was so funny.
00:18:38Real funny.
00:18:40Even laughing from one bed to another.
00:18:42I'm scandalized by all this.
00:18:44The old man is perverted.
00:18:46The old bastard's almost a necrophile.
00:18:50Why don't we employ the grave keeper's wife as a nurse?
00:18:54Why do you always have to say such ridiculous things?
00:18:58Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:19:02It's not as ridiculous as you think.
00:19:08At this point in the story, it's only fair I fill you in on the background.
00:19:12It's important for you to know that two years before I got sick,
00:19:16that imbecile Benito slipped and fell in the bathtub,
00:19:20practically setting the world's record for broken bones.
00:19:23Fibias, tibias, clavicles, cavicles,
00:19:26and anything else I could name, including his brain,
00:19:28which wasn't anything to write home about even before the accident.
00:19:32Anyway, to patch him together,
00:19:34we had to ship him off to this special clinic in Switzerland,
00:19:37where unfortunately they were unable to keep him longer than eight months,
00:19:41but he did have time to make several new friends.
00:19:44Car?
00:19:45Yeah.
00:19:46In a crash?
00:19:48Yeah.
00:19:49Turned you into a versatile.
00:19:51Yeah, birthless, awkward. Good. They're good.
00:19:55Why are you a sickie?
00:20:09I'm not a sickie.
00:20:10You're sick, Anato.
00:20:11Go.
00:20:13Go, you are sick, Anato.
00:20:20Go, Romano.
00:20:21Benito.
00:20:22Anna!
00:20:23Go, you're sick.
00:20:25Go.
00:20:25My little...
00:20:26Oh, geez!
00:20:33Oh, oh, I'm sorry, Benito.
00:20:39Ah, yes, my little cuckoo.
00:20:41I came here quite convinced I wouldn't find you.
00:20:44Why? Were you afraid I gone off and got married?
00:20:48Why not?
00:20:49I mean, look at you.
00:20:51Are the doctors here so jaded they can't get it up?
00:20:55Oh, they manage, from the chief surgeon on down.
00:20:59The trouble with me is I always seem to go for the wrong ones.
00:21:03You know, like interns who don't make any money.
00:21:05Whatever happened to that?
00:21:06What was he, a gynecologist?
00:21:09You know, the one who wanted to leave his wife to run away with you.
00:21:13The last time I saw him, he was bringing his wife here to deliver the fourth kid.
00:21:20You wanted to leave your wife for me, too.
00:21:27And you made a big mistake not to take me seriously.
00:21:31The wrong doctor is one thing, but the wrong patient is worse.
00:21:37Oh, we had a moment together, Benito, but we never tried to fool each other.
00:21:44You don't have to believe me, a little Swiss chocolate, but I have a confession to make.
00:21:52I was deadly serious about you.
00:21:56I suppose I should be flattered, Benito, but I don't believe you.
00:22:04Oh, come on, darling.
00:22:06At least I learned something from my experiences.
00:22:10Now I don't play hit the sack with every two-bit charmer who comes in.
00:22:17Uncle Leonida, Uncle Leonida, look what I've brought you on.
00:22:48Uncle Leonida, look what I've brought you on.
00:22:51Of course, your own private nurse.
00:22:55Look, look at her, Uncle.
00:22:57Yeah, yeah, pussy.
00:23:00Well, let's leave him alone now.
00:23:02In his peace, quiet.
00:23:10He's in your hands.
00:23:13Understand?
00:23:32You filthy pig, you think I'm blind?
00:23:35You disgust me.
00:23:36What did I do wrong?
00:23:37You idiot, sex maniac.
00:23:41Oh, you think you could bring your trash into this house.
00:23:45You're so-called nurse.
00:23:46What's it to you?
00:23:47I'm not your wife, you know.
00:23:49I know, I know.
00:23:49You can't trifle with me.
00:23:51Yes, I know.
00:23:51I'll cut it off.
00:23:52I castrate you.
00:23:53I try to castrate you.
00:23:55I will.
00:23:55Listen to me.
00:24:02This is how you treat me, me who gave you everything, my life, my love, my body, my all.
00:24:09I gave you my heart and soul, the best years of my life, I even gave you a son.
00:24:17I know, that son, you call a son, you had already.
00:24:19What's that supposed to mean?
00:24:21Are you calling me a whore?
00:24:23Are you calling me a whore?
00:24:26All right.
00:24:31Benito, pass the salt, please.
00:24:36Thank you very much.
00:24:37Good evening, everybody.
00:24:42Hi there.
00:24:44This is the lady who's going to take care of Uncle Leonidat.
00:24:47Ah.
00:24:47Why are you so late to dinner?
00:24:49He had work to make up at school and took a later trolley.
00:24:53Don't just stand there gawking, boy.
00:24:55Sit down.
00:24:57On the double.
00:24:58Sorry, Uncle Gustav.
00:24:59You always wear your hat at the table.
00:25:01Oh, dear.
00:25:03Sorry, I'll be right back.
00:25:05Your book.
00:25:06Your book.
00:25:06You always have to leave a pile of books everywhere you go.
00:25:09Sorry.
00:25:09Tell Oscar to serve your suit.
00:25:11Yes, mother.
00:25:14How old is he?
00:25:16Oh, 16.
00:25:19I had him when I was only 18.
00:25:23Are you a widow?
00:25:24Yes.
00:25:43Tosca, Adonis doesn't have any soup.
00:25:46How was I supposed to know he was here?
00:25:48Nobody ever tells me anything.
00:25:55Well, where's your head tonight?
00:25:58I don't want any soup, mother.
00:26:00Well, have some meat at least.
00:26:02You can't go to bed on an empty stomach at your age.
00:26:06Adonis, did you wash your hands?
00:26:10Don't you think that was unkind?
00:26:13It's impossible to say anything to him these days.
00:26:24Good morning.
00:26:25Good morning.
00:26:29Did you sleep well?
00:26:31Fine.
00:26:31Thanks.
00:26:32How's Uncle Leonida?
00:26:34He's sleeping.
00:26:36I'm sorry.
00:26:37Last night.
00:26:38Don't be.
00:26:40I see you have a swimming pool.
00:26:42May I use it?
00:26:44Oh, yes, of course.
00:26:45But the water will be cold.
00:26:47Oh, good.
00:26:48It will wake me up.
00:26:50Is there anybody out there?
00:26:52Just Uncle Gustav.
00:26:53He's doing his exercises.
00:26:55Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
00:27:19Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up,
00:27:25up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up,
00:27:30up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up,
00:27:33up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up,
00:27:33up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up,
00:27:36up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up
00:27:39Oh, my God.
00:28:16We are on the bridge interdiction file 20 rounds H.E. at my command
00:28:34We interrupt with a bulletin hey colonel now that the old man is dying why don't you buy a couple
00:28:41of tags?
00:28:46Impudent scoundrel put my walkie-talkie down you better get ready to get slice to pieces you fat old phony
00:28:54Show your face. I'll have you shot. You villain
00:29:03Shooting too good for you
00:29:10Hello, come in ship to shore
00:29:19My scientific research has gone down the drain. This is vinegar
00:29:24Need any help mr. Benito sir
00:29:26No
00:29:48I
00:29:49Haven't gone anywhere mr. Benito
00:29:51No
00:29:54Taste this
00:29:59Thank you
00:30:04Well, well
00:30:06Give me another one
00:30:20I think slowly taste it don't go
00:30:29It's quite good
00:30:31My collar is reddish
00:30:33Oh
00:30:33On the light side
00:30:35What it'll do
00:30:36Very smooth
00:30:38Harmonious
00:30:39Full-bodied
00:30:40Ripe fruit flavor
00:30:42Swedish
00:30:42Pleasantly so
00:30:43I can figure all that out by myself
00:30:46Get to the point
00:30:47Will it stand up against a wine made with grapes?
00:30:52Uh
00:30:52Well it stands up in alcohol content
00:30:55Percentage I'd say is uh
00:30:5714 to
00:30:59Somewhat sulfurous
00:31:05Can I gas it?
00:31:07Oh
00:31:08Zero two or zero four percent
00:31:10Is it two or four?
00:31:13Oh
00:31:13Zero four
00:31:16Huh
00:31:16Regarding your sulfides
00:31:22Three hundred and eighty or three hundred and eighty five a bit much
00:31:27But this one couldn't be one of yours could have mr. Benito
00:31:32Why do you ask?
00:31:34Because it seems much too good for one of yours
00:31:36Get out of here before I break your head open you damn bastard
00:31:42Not forever
00:31:44I I quite I quite understand but you have my personal insurance
00:31:47It's only a question of hours or days
00:31:49Tosca
00:31:51Hmm?
00:31:52Senora's calling go and see what she wants
00:31:54Which senora?
00:31:55Who cares just go
00:31:56Oh
00:31:58Yes sir
00:32:00I'm going
00:32:02I'm going
00:32:07Can he see?
00:32:08Yes
00:32:09Then he saw
00:32:10Yes
00:32:11Oh
00:32:14Mother of God
00:32:16He's lost interest
00:32:18He's lost interest in a hanky-panky
00:32:21We're ruined
00:32:23Ruined
00:32:26Uncle Leonel
00:32:28Uncle Leonel
00:32:30Think of your family
00:32:33Come back to your senses
00:32:34Where's your old soul?
00:32:36No
00:32:39You see he hasn't lost interest
00:32:40Oh, that's better
00:32:41I almost had a heart attack
00:32:44What were you expecting?
00:32:46Rape at first sight?
00:32:47Come with me a minute
00:32:49Wait for the patient
00:32:50Ah screw the patient
00:32:51Come here
00:32:54No
00:32:54Now see here Anna
00:32:55I don't think you understand the urgency of all this
00:32:59All I can say is
00:33:00Do it baby
00:33:02And the world is yours
00:33:04Once more into the breach
00:33:06Tell it to mother nature
00:33:07She has more to do with it than I do
00:33:09After her recuperates a bit
00:33:11Perhaps
00:33:12Recuperate?
00:33:13How long will that take?
00:33:19Ask mother nature
00:33:24Your idea is just insane
00:33:25It's just pouring money down the drain
00:33:27I don't see what we're really paying for
00:33:29Or why we really need a home
00:33:41Worse yet
00:33:41Uncle has to get better
00:33:43So he can get worse
00:33:44Oh yes
00:33:45Who said that?
00:33:46Benito
00:33:47And you expect sense from a moron?
00:33:49Is this something we don't know about?
00:33:54It's part of the scheme
00:33:57It's mother nature's way
00:34:00To make him worse
00:34:02We have to get him better
00:34:04How much better?
00:34:06Better enough to
00:34:08Get worse
00:34:10Much worse
00:34:11Much, much worse
00:34:14Much, much worse
00:34:15Much, much worse
00:34:16Much, much worse
00:34:17Much, much worse
00:34:18Ah
00:34:26I've chosen to include this little scene
00:34:29As another example of my charming heirs tasteful delicacy
00:34:33One week passed in vain
00:34:36The presence of a trained
00:34:38And I might add
00:34:39Highly remunerated nurse
00:34:41Still had not produced the desired effect
00:34:44Or at least no effect that had anything to do with me
00:34:54So gracious and so sweet
00:34:56That even strangers when they meet my woman
00:34:58Find their tongues grow still
00:35:23Until she, with sweet humility and grace
00:35:27Acknowledged the warm and bounteous praise
00:35:30With a smile as from heaven sent to earth
00:35:32Until she, with sweet humility and grace
00:35:50her eyes so bright
00:35:52So pure her heart
00:35:55Then from her lips, a rose on high
00:35:58As from her soul, love's soft, sad cry.
00:36:04My love is nigh, oh sigh.
00:36:14Well, sir, we are feeling better, aren't we?
00:36:21Mama.
00:36:29Yes, I finally began to feel better.
00:36:45At this point, I'm tempted to say he's out of danger.
00:36:48But no, that was the real danger.
00:36:50As I said before, a second attack could be fatal.
00:36:53If you want your uncle to survive, you must realize he's living on a razor's edge.
00:36:59Did you hear that, Fraulein?
00:37:01Yes, doctor.
00:37:06The patient is in your hands.
00:37:24Reaction negative.
00:37:25No, you're totally impervious to females.
00:37:27I'm playing hard to get on purpose.
00:37:30Otherwise, what is the point of the experiment?
00:37:32He's a guinea pig.
00:37:33He's got a point.
00:37:34If it works on him, it'll work on anyone.
00:37:37The Count doesn't need much encouragement to put his hands all over him.
00:37:42Do me a favor, will you, and think positive.
00:37:49According to Masterson Johnson, the orgasm is an anti-climax.
00:37:58It's the build-up, the foreplay, the anticipation,
00:38:03that reverently brings one's blood to a boil
00:38:07and makes you work up enough steam to...
00:38:20a little of the old kamikaze spirit.
00:38:22Right, right.
00:38:23Remember Pearl Harbor.
00:38:25Pearl Harbor.
00:38:26Remember the name.
00:38:28Sneak attack.
00:38:29That's the ticket.
00:38:30What have you got on your head?
00:38:32My calf.
00:38:34It's standard uniform.
00:38:36I know, I know, but not a nurse of your kind.
00:38:38And why are you all dressed up like this?
00:38:40Open your buttons and see your abundance.
00:38:43Like this.
00:38:45A vast improvement.
00:38:47You see.
00:38:52Take his temperature.
00:39:01No, no, no, no.
00:39:04On the other side.
00:39:06Here, give it to me.
00:39:09Nothing at all should be left to chance.
00:39:13It's a small detail, maybe, but make the most of it.
00:39:19Haven't you ever seen a good porno film?
00:39:21It's all technique.
00:39:24And over here.
00:39:26Sit down.
00:39:29I'll show you.
00:39:51Like this.
00:39:57See?
00:39:58Double exposure.
00:40:01Right?
00:40:01Two undershirts.
00:40:02You're not a guinea pig.
00:40:04You're a horse's ass.
00:40:05Now.
00:40:07Watch how I do it.
00:40:18Remove thermometer.
00:40:39You get the illusion?
00:40:41Pholic symbolism.
00:40:46You get the illusion?
00:40:52Pholic symbolism.
00:40:55Oh, my God.
00:40:56My pencil.
00:40:59Oh, where are you, little pencil?
00:41:01Where are you?
00:41:02Where did you go?
00:41:04Where are you?
00:41:06Where are you?
00:41:09Where did you go?
00:41:20Where are you?
00:41:20Where are you?
00:41:22Where are you?
00:41:46Where is the medicine?
00:41:47What is the medicine?
00:41:49How many people?
00:42:00Here, drink this now.
00:42:01The thermometer, aren't you going to take it out?
00:42:06Where did you put it?
00:42:08Oh, it wouldn't stay into the arms, so I stuck it.
00:42:12Then you'll have to take it out yourself.
00:42:13If I do, all the water will spill out.
00:42:16You've got a free hand.
00:42:18Just what I've been doing.
00:42:20What the hell is this?
00:42:21There's a railroad station.
00:42:23Excuse me, am I disturbing you?
00:42:25I came to say good night.
00:42:27Yeah, well, good night and good riddance.
00:42:30Good night.
00:42:31Get out.
00:42:33Get out.
00:42:34Get out.
00:42:35Oh, is there anything I can get for you?
00:42:37No, no, no, everything I want.
00:42:39You just scram.
00:42:40Tomorrow I have to go into town, in case you need anything.
00:42:43Here I am on my deathbed, and he's using up all the air in the place.
00:42:46I know.
00:42:47Oh, yes, some batteries for my radio.
00:42:50What voltage?
00:42:51It's my voltage.
00:42:52I'm not sure.
00:42:55Let's go and look.
00:43:00Let's go and see.
00:43:02He doesn't even know what to look for.
00:43:14It won't open.
00:43:16You want to try?
00:43:28Would you like me to hold it for you?
00:43:47One and a half volts.
00:43:48I'll pick them up.
00:43:49I'll pick them up.
00:43:50I'll pick them up.
00:43:52You'd better go.
00:43:53Your uncle seems to be nervous.
00:43:59It is a goddamn railroad station.
00:44:07Hi there.
00:44:08May I come here to move it?
00:44:10Oh, you're inexpress.
00:44:13Oh, it's you, Adonis.
00:44:14Why are you always under everyone's feet?
00:44:18You know, Uncle shouldn't be disturbed.
00:44:19He needs to rest.
00:44:20It's all right.
00:44:22It's all right.
00:44:23Get out.
00:44:24Not just him.
00:44:25You too.
00:44:26Get out.
00:44:27Oh.
00:44:28Right away.
00:44:30I dropped in to bring you some light reading.
00:44:41Night, Uncle.
00:44:43Pleasant dreams.
00:44:47Lock it, will you?
00:44:48Before I get any more visitors.
00:44:51All I need now is Gustav to break my hump.
00:44:53All he needed was a fanfare.
00:44:57Don't ask me how I know.
00:44:59Let's just say that I've got my spies.
00:45:01Count, there is always one black sheep.
00:45:03Even in the best of families.
00:45:05This one got a flock.
00:45:09Must be glad you can laugh about it.
00:45:12I want to cry sometimes.
00:45:17He may be running out of ammunition, but he's not surrendering.
00:45:22Doesn't know any better.
00:45:24And Tosca, poor deluded child.
00:45:27He keeps right on trying.
00:45:29But his gun's a harmless weapon.
00:45:33I want to cry sometimes.
00:45:35Oh, no.
00:45:50Hey, Tosca.
00:45:52Yes.
00:45:53Do you know where the nurse is?
00:45:54Wasn't you with your uncle?
00:45:55No, I was already up there.
00:45:56How should I know?
00:45:58Last time I saw she was up in the attic with mr. Benito
00:46:25There's no one there it might have been a mouse
00:46:31With army boots on
00:46:39The battery is for my radio
00:47:12You're gonna fill a prescription for me doctor I ain't no doctor and this ain't no pharmacy like it wasn't
00:47:19no grocery yesterday
00:47:23Oh
00:47:24Holy shit. Oh, I gotta have a few words with my bicycle
00:47:30Well, as long as we're here you might as well give me the usual
00:47:34Don't go worse. No, it's the kid Adonis. He's got himself a fever that would kill a horse
00:47:54No, darling. No, it's me. Mommy
00:48:04Sweetheart, what are you saying? Don't you know your own mother?
00:48:11He's delirious. If it's malaria, it'll rica
00:48:14Oh
00:48:16Oh
00:48:18Tramp
00:48:19Trish
00:48:20Pussy
00:48:22I've done this pull yourself together
00:48:24Pussy
00:48:28Delirious
00:48:30No, I think you're wrong
00:48:32You won't say anything
00:48:34Wait till the fever drops
00:48:36I'll handle him
00:48:38How
00:48:41I
00:48:41Don't know yet
00:48:43Obviously I can't deny what he saw
00:48:45It's not what he saw. It's what he heard
00:48:47Heard what? A little harmless whispering?
00:48:51You groan
00:48:53It's not funny
00:48:54We were talking about the old coot at first
00:48:57Who said he was already digging his own grave?
00:49:00And I suggested that a shove or two from you might help him over the egg
00:49:05But that was before he was there
00:49:07You know how long you're spying on us, huh?
00:49:12Oh, my dear God
00:49:13Oh, my dear God
00:49:14Oh, my dear God
00:49:21I'm getting out of here
00:49:24Oh, my dear God
00:49:25This is no time to get hysterical
00:49:29What if he tells the Count?
00:49:31Or even the police?
00:49:33Don't panic
00:49:34Just keep your wits about you
00:49:53Let's stop the whole thing
00:49:56I'm scared
00:49:57Are you crazy?
00:49:57You want to stop now and blow the whole deal with Kitsch?
00:50:00After all the trouble I've gone through
00:50:02You'll see
00:50:04Everything is
00:50:05Everything is going to turn out all right
00:50:07A little Swiss
00:50:13You moron
00:50:15Where's the medicine?
00:50:16You've been going over three hours
00:50:19Oh, my dear God
00:50:21Sorry
00:50:22The delay was due to a slight detour from the scheduled route
00:50:27Unforeseen
00:50:28Howdy, ma'am
00:50:29I can smell it from your breath
00:50:30Give me that stuff
00:50:31Yes, sir, Mr. Buddy
00:50:32Oh, yes, sir
00:50:33In that case, I might just as well
00:50:35Go back where I came from
00:50:37And furnish some unfurnished business
00:50:40That I went and left unfurnished
00:50:44I'm going
00:50:50I think
00:50:51I think I'm still here
00:50:51I think so, too
00:50:53Here we go
00:50:54Ha ha ha
00:50:55He he he
00:50:57And I
00:50:57He he he
00:51:00He he he he
00:51:01of
00:51:02All the
00:51:04All the wine
00:51:05on the vine
00:51:06It tastes
00:51:08mighty fine
00:51:11Every time
00:51:12I taste
00:51:13the wine
00:51:14I
00:51:15Ah!
00:51:17My little
00:51:18butterfly
00:51:19watering
00:51:21little
00:51:21potterbine
00:51:23What happened?
00:51:24He's drunk.
00:51:27Here's the medicine.
00:51:29How's the count? He's been waiting.
00:51:39Until we know what Adonis heard, keep him alive and get that book.
00:51:55No, I've never loved life as much as I love life.
00:52:02Oh, no.
00:52:06Sir, sir.
00:52:07Oh, my God.
00:52:10Oh, you scared me.
00:52:13I'm not ready to go yet.
00:52:16This does off, that's all.
00:52:18This kind of book is as good as a sleeping draught.
00:52:21But frankly, I prefer to do certain things, read about them.
00:52:34No, count, what are you doing?
00:52:36You mustn't exert yourself.
00:52:38You know, in your condition, it could be dangerous.
00:52:44Count.
00:52:50Oh, my God.
00:52:58Hello.
00:52:59How are we feeling?
00:53:08You can be such a child sometimes.
00:53:13I was wrong.
00:53:15You are a child.
00:53:20If you weren't, I wouldn't have...
00:53:23At least those you care about.
00:53:26Because you do care about me, don't you?
00:53:32Adonis, look at me.
00:53:35The one thing I'm sorry about is that I disappointed you.
00:53:39But I can't feel guilty about it.
00:53:43You see, a woman like me, who is alone in life,
00:53:49is like all women.
00:53:53She needs a woman, she needs a man.
00:53:55It doesn't matter if it wasn't right.
00:54:00It happens to all of us.
00:54:02And I'm no exception.
00:54:06That's three minutes, you can go now.
00:54:09Please close the door when you leave.
00:54:17He's jealous, he's jealous.
00:54:18We don't have to worry about a thing.
00:54:20You really think so?
00:54:22Sure.
00:54:23Do you know what he was reading?
00:54:27It's called, Strategy of a Murder.
00:54:33That little creep, I'm going in there and punch him in the mouth.
00:54:36It couldn't be a coincidence, could it?
00:54:39No, no, no, it couldn't be a coincidence.
00:54:43Maybe you're right.
00:54:45Can't you make up your mind, Benito?
00:54:46Man, there's not a question of that.
00:54:49Our whole future depends on that goggle-eyed kid.
00:54:52Oh, I know you think he's cute, but these snitches, we're down a creek.
00:54:56Up the creek.
00:54:58We have to find out exactly what he knows.
00:55:02And you're the only one equipped for the job.
00:55:05No, I've had enough.
00:55:07No, no, no, come on.
00:55:08Just wait a minute, please.
00:55:11Now look, if he does know something, we'll just deny everything.
00:55:15And you can go back to your cuckoo clocks.
00:55:17That you can count on.
00:55:19I'll be on the first train.
00:55:21Now look.
00:55:30And this could have been a perfect crime.
00:55:41Coffee, Colonel?
00:55:44Yeah, decaffeinated.
00:55:49Oh, my God.
00:56:19Oh, my God.
00:56:22Oh, my God.
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