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Late Night with Seth Meyers - Season 13 - Episode 26: Michael Shannon, Elizabeth Olsen
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00:05From 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York, it's Late Night with Seth Meyers.
00:12Tonight, Annette Bening.
00:15Comedian, Robbie Hoffman.
00:18Author, Tayari Jones.
00:24And now, Seth Meyers.
00:28Good evening, I'm Seth Meyers, it's Late Night.
00:30We hope you're doing well.
00:31And now, if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news.
00:34In a new interview, President Trump said that the military is knocking the crap out of Iran,
00:38but added, quote,
00:41Hey, man, the commander-in-chief is supposed to be able to keep military secrets.
00:50He's so excited to bomb people, he can't help himself.
00:53I wouldn't want to be in eastern Tehran at 3 a.m. tomorrow.
00:57I can tell you that much.
00:59Maybe he's not in the Epstein files.
01:01It honestly feels like he would have told us by now.
01:06During a Medal of Honor ceremony yesterday at the White House,
01:09President Trump began talking about the curtains and said, quote,
01:12I picked those drapes in my first term.
01:15I always liked gold.
01:16We know.
01:18That's like Santa mentioning he always liked Christmas.
01:22You guys will never guess my favorite holiday.
01:25It's not what you think.
01:27You got it, Christmas.
01:30During the same ceremony, President Trump also said that he's tried to get a Medal of Honor for himself,
01:34but added that he was told it would, quote,
01:37be bad protocol.
01:38I just want you to consider how many things he's admitting here.
01:41He's admitting he tried to give himself a Medal of Honor.
01:45He's admitting that it's a bad look, and he's admitting he had to be told it's a bad look.
01:51It's one thing you have a puppy that has to be told not to piss in the house.
01:54This is like a 16-year-old dog that still has to be told not to piss in the house.
02:01How are you not getting this?
02:05The White House released a video on Friday of administration officials
02:08sharing their favorite memories with President Trump,
02:10and Marco Rubio said that time he got my name right.
02:16During a visit on Friday to a Texas Whataburger location,
02:19President Trump spoke to a crowd of customers
02:21and said he hopes they do not drink alcohol.
02:24They're dining in at Whataburger on a Friday night.
02:27They do.
02:30The indoor water park chain Great Wolf Lodge this week
02:33will offer a limited-edition milkshake
02:35that blends vanilla ice cream and ranch dressing,
02:38and after one of those, you become the water slide.
02:49What I like is the tail of that joke felt like you were going down a water slide.
02:53It was like, oh!
02:57The pizza chain Papa John's has announced
02:59that it will close 300 underperforming restaurants,
03:02but how do you tell which ones are underperforming
03:04when they're all selling Papa John's?
03:09The Times Square performing The Naked Cowboy
03:11has reportedly divorced his wife and fellow performer,
03:14The Naked Cowgirl,
03:15but there's been cracks in the relationship for a while.
03:23Feel bad for the person who set him up.
03:26They're like, you gotta meet my friend!
03:29According to a new book,
03:30the conclave that elected Pope Leo last year was interrupted
03:33after Vatican security officials
03:35detected an active mobile connection,
03:38and an older cardinal discovered
03:39he had a phone in his pocket,
03:41because you just know that flashlight was on.
03:46And finally, Disney World's Rock and Roller Coaster
03:49starring Aerosmith shut down over the weekend
03:51so it can be reopened
03:52as the Rock and Roller Coaster starring The Muppets,
03:56and the good news is
03:57they didn't have to change it very much.
04:01That was a monologue, everybody!
04:03We've got a great zombie tonight!
04:06She's a fantastic actress.
04:08You know from films like American Beauty,
04:10Beeline, Julia, and Nyad.
04:13See her next in The Bride in theaters and IMAX
04:15this Friday, March 6th.
04:17Annette Bening is here, everybody!
04:20How about that?
04:21She's a fantastic comic you've seen on Hacks,
04:25a new special.
04:26Wake Up is streaming now on Netflix.
04:28Robbie Hoffman is joining us.
04:31So excited to talk to her about a fantastic special.
04:34And her excellent new novel Kin is out now.
04:38Tayari Jones is back to chat with us.
04:42Ilona Marr, Olympian Ilona Marr,
04:44on family trips this week.
04:45Fantastic listen.
04:46Do check that out.
04:48White House Press Secretary Caroline Leavitt
04:50has been holding a lot of press briefings lately.
04:52A lot's been going on, you know.
04:54But there are a lot of questions
04:55about what this administration has been doing
04:57that we feel are still unanswered.
05:00So we decide to hold another one right here, right now.
05:02That's right.
05:02Press Secretary Leavitt and the late-night press corps
05:05are here in the studio, ready to go.
05:07So without further ado,
05:08it's time for another
05:10late house...
05:11Late white...
05:12Late...
05:14...press house late...
05:16No?
05:17I know you're worried,
05:18but I haven't made a mistake yet.
05:24This is exactly how it's supposed to go.
05:28It's time for
05:29the late-night White House Press Reader.
05:44Yep, thank you.
05:45Thank you, thank you.
05:46Right over here.
05:46Yes, Seth Meyers, a late-night with Seth Meyers.
05:50Caroline, how much of his daily briefing
05:52does President Trump read
05:53before getting bored and giving up?
05:55Like, the first three words.
06:00What does President Trump miss most
06:03about his life before becoming president?
06:06His relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.
06:14Caroline, how will history
06:16remember the Trump family?
06:18Burdens that have really done nothing for our country.
06:22I heard that Stephen Miller
06:24is planning on visiting Germany.
06:26When would he like to go there?
06:28During World War II.
06:32Hey, what's RFK Jr.'s go-to order at happy hour?
06:36A gallon of regular gas.
06:39Caroline, this next one's for all the real
06:4290s music heads out there.
06:44You know, the type of people
06:45who have a paid subscription to Pitchfork.
06:47So here we go.
06:48It's going to be an inside music joke, Caroline.
06:51What's the most popular Fiona Apple song?
06:54Nearly 8 in 10 Americans say criminal...
07:12What advice do you have for single people
07:14who like someone but aren't sure how to ask them out?
07:18Stalk, record, confront.
07:20Okay, and if that doesn't work?
07:22Targeting, doxing, harassing.
07:26Hey, Caroline, I know you're a bit of a history buff.
07:29What did America's first president call his penis?
07:32The Washington Post.
07:34Oh.
07:38Caroline, this next question is about nutrition.
07:41What do you call a pancake with a job?
07:43And can you please answer in the form of a dad joke?
07:47A working breakfast.
07:50Nailed it.
07:54President Trump loves to put his name on things.
07:57Is there anything he's put his name on that he regrets?
08:00More than 3 million documents related to Jeffrey Epstein.
08:07Okay.
08:10What happened when Stephen Miller looked in the mirror?
08:12He did not show up.
08:16Caroline, I'm thinking about watching the original
08:19Jersey Shore television show for the first time.
08:22Any tips?
08:22Monitor the situation closely.
08:25I heard that the FBI has managed to finally apprehend
08:29Mario and Luigi.
08:31How did they do it?
08:32We had a great level of cooperation with Mayor Bowser.
08:38Let's say the Trump kids find a magic lamp.
08:41What's Eric asking the genie for?
08:43The magic pass for Disneyland.
08:46And Don Jr.?
08:47Drugs.
08:48And for this next joke,
08:51we're going to go all the way back
08:52to the late 70s New York music scene
08:54based on how well the Fiona Apple joke went.
08:59We tried to do one that was denser than that one
09:02that got no response.
09:05So I think you and I, Caroline,
09:06are both excited to see how this goes.
09:09What do you think about David Byrne and Chris France
09:12voting for Kamala Harris?
09:13There's a lot of liberal talking heads.
09:21Caroline, let's say you adopted a pet cow that was Italian.
09:25What would you name him?
09:26Mr. Bovino.
09:31What happened when they tried to give President Trump a bath?
09:34The president floated.
09:39What do you call when you're on a plane
09:40and you join the Mile High Club, but all by yourself?
09:44Jacking up.
09:48What's RFK Jr.'s favorite cut of meat?
09:51The horse's mouth.
09:52And then for dessert?
09:54Bear arms.
09:56What does Trump say after taking off his shirt?
09:58These are real.
09:59And finally, what's the one thing Melania
10:03absolutely will not do in the bedroom with President Trump?
10:07Keeping the lights on.
10:08Well, looks like we're all out of time,
10:11so on behalf of the rest of the Late Night Press store,
10:13have a good night!
10:14We'll be right back with Annette Mennings.
10:33My first guest tonight is an Oscar, Tony,
10:36an Emmy-nominated actress you know from films
10:38like American Beauty, Being Julia,
10:40The Kids Are Alright, and Nyad.
10:42You can see her next in The Bride,
10:43which opens in theaters at IMAX Friday, March 6th.
10:46Let's take a look.
10:47What?
10:48We're going to go digging up bodies in Potter's Field?
10:51I mean, obviously, a medical cadaver is not an option.
10:55And I really don't understand the idea
10:58behind using pieces from many different dead bodies.
11:02What was the thinking there?
11:03And sewing them together, it's grotesque.
11:06Dr. Frankenstein's got some sort of fetish.
11:08I think that, uh, he was trying to create something beautiful.
11:14Well, that's ironic.
11:17Please welcome back to the show, Annette Menning, everybody!
11:36Hello!
11:38Hello, friends!
11:41It's very exciting.
11:42You obviously have a very storied career,
11:44but I feel like you maybe have never played a character
11:47with a better name than this one.
11:48No.
11:48Dr. Euphronius?
11:50Yes.
11:51I think Maggie Gyllenhaal, who wrote the script
11:53and directed it, had a different name in mind
11:56and then had to switch it,
11:58so then she came up with this idea of Dr. Euphronius.
12:01It's a really good name.
12:03And if you told me someone is going to play
12:04a Dr. Euphronius in a movie,
12:06I would not have jumped right to Annette Bening,
12:08so it's fantastic.
12:09I don't know who I would have thought of,
12:11but it's fantastic.
12:12Well, she's a wild scientist.
12:14She works outside the box.
12:16She is into reinvigoration.
12:19Yeah.
12:20So Frankenstein comes to see her.
12:22Yeah.
12:23He's very gentle.
12:25He's very gentle.
12:26A Christian Bale bringing a lot of heart to little Frankenstein.
12:30And he really wants a girlfriend.
12:31Yeah.
12:32And so what do we do?
12:33We go to the graveyard and dig up a woman.
12:36You know what?
12:37You say it in a way that I was totally on board the whole time.
12:39Exactly.
12:40I feel like if anybody else had explained it to me,
12:42I would think that was dark and shady.
12:43But you said it.
12:44I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
12:45I mean, we all want girlfriends.
12:48This is very much a reimagining of The Bride of Frankenstein.
12:53Had you read the original Frankenstein novel by Mary Shelley?
12:57I had not, but I then did.
12:59And, of course, it's this iconic book that everyone has read.
13:02And I really saw why people are obsessed with the book.
13:05And she was 18 years old when she wrote it.
13:08And it's a springboard for Maggie Gyllenhaal
13:11to take us on this entirely different kind of adventure.
13:14It's a kind of gangster world in the 30s.
13:17But it's essentially a romance.
13:21And she ended up writing about all the things
13:24that were concerning her, about women
13:26and living outside the box and being wild.
13:30And it's really a feminist take on the whole thing.
13:35And then Jessie Buckley is playing The Bride.
13:38And she doesn't know her name.
13:40And she's brought into the world.
13:42And she is a wild woman.
13:45And gives this incredible performance
13:48because she's actually a sort of a number of different women
13:51within The Bride.
13:52That's fantastic.
13:54And, you know, Maggie, obviously an accomplished director
13:56at this point.
13:57It must be very exciting to work with both someone like her,
14:00who is obviously a great actor,
14:01who also knows how to get the most out of actors.
14:03It is.
14:04I think we have something in common,
14:06you know, just going off of reading the book.
14:08We have both mothers who are voracious readers.
14:11Yes.
14:11Is your mother to this day still?
14:14My mother is 97 years old.
14:16And she's...
14:20Yeah.
14:21Shirley Benning.
14:22And she's an incredible person.
14:24She lives with me and my husband.
14:26I lost my dad a few years ago.
14:28They were married 73 years.
14:31Unbelievable.
14:32Which is crazy.
14:33Unbelievable.
14:34That deserves a round of applause.
14:35Yeah.
14:36And she is a remarkable woman.
14:39And she lives in her pajamas in my house.
14:41And she does crossword puzzles and reads like a maniac.
14:46Yeah.
14:46And often reads scripts of mine.
14:48But then when I read the book,
14:50and it's just such an incredible book.
14:52Everyone knows that.
14:53So I was blown away.
14:56And I said, Mom, you know, have you read it?
14:57And she said, I think I did years ago.
15:00So then she re-read it.
15:02Yeah.
15:02What a fantastic thing to have her as a sounding board.
15:04Exactly.
15:05Yeah.
15:05No, it is.
15:06I like the idea of a 97-year-old reading a Hollywood script
15:09and being like, I don't think you're right for this one.
15:12Also, maybe something in common with my mom.
15:14They enjoy a cocktail while she reads a book.
15:165.30 sharp martini.
15:20I mean...
15:21But only one.
15:22That's great.
15:23Well, you know, you can't be 97 having two martinis a day.
15:26She would rather have two.
15:27She'd rather have two.
15:28But I tell her one.
15:29And potato chips, by the way.
15:31Oh, really?
15:31Oh, yeah.
15:32Bowl of potato chips.
15:33Maybe two.
15:34That's fantastic.
15:35God love her.
15:35Your first movie, I did not realize.
15:37Because I think the first time I saw you in a film
15:39was The Grifters, which is a couple years after this.
15:42But you were in The Great Outdoors.
15:44I'm sorry that we used this photo.
15:45But there's an explanation.
15:47This is a comedy.
15:48Dan Aykroyd and John Candy taking their family
15:51into the wilderness.
15:52So this is the reverse shot of what you're reacting to.
15:56And this was a practical bear, correct?
15:59This was a real bear.
16:00This was a real bear.
16:01And he was a famous movie bear for a while.
16:03I don't think he's around anymore.
16:05His name is Bart.
16:06Yeah.
16:06And, yeah.
16:07And, you know, I had those kids.
16:09I mean, there were, like, actors who were kids
16:11that were also on the set.
16:12Yeah.
16:13And when you do a scene with a real bear,
16:16they say things like, okay, nobody has,
16:18you don't have any cuts on your skin, right?
16:20There's no, like, open wound that the bear
16:23would, like, smell the blood.
16:25Yeah.
16:25And they say things like, you know,
16:27there's this electrical, like, thing put around the bear
16:30so that if the bear was to actually lunge at someone,
16:34because, of course, the bear's supposed to be lunging.
16:36Yeah.
16:36So if he really crosses that, then he gets shocked.
16:39Right.
16:40But the cameraman, who was right next to us,
16:43he said, yeah, I was on Jeremiah Johnson,
16:46which was a...
16:47Famous Robert Redford.
16:48Right.
16:48A lot of bears running around outside.
16:50And he said, you know, they told us that.
16:52They said, if the bear runs, then just stand still.
16:55But he said, when that bear ran,
16:57the trainer was the first person to take off.
17:02I feel like the trainer tells that to everybody else
17:04so he can get a head start.
17:07Exactly.
17:07He's like, you guys freeze.
17:09And then he's like, moin!
17:11You were, I mean, this all happened very fast.
17:14This is a 1988 movie.
17:16You were doing regional theater in Denver in 1986.
17:21And then a year later, you were Tony nominated.
17:24Like, can you talk through, like,
17:26what made you take the leap from going,
17:28coming to New York City?
17:30Well, I started in San Francisco
17:32at a theater called the American Conservatory Theater,
17:34which was another region, is another regional theater.
17:37That's how I got my start.
17:38I loved that work.
17:40Mostly classical theater.
17:41A year in Denver, and then I thought,
17:43well, I've got to give New York a shot.
17:44So I was 28.
17:46A friend of mine let me live with her,
17:47and then I started auditioning,
17:49and I got an off-Broadway play that moved to Broadway.
17:52Yeah.
17:52It was just luck.
17:53That's unbelievable.
17:54Yeah, it was.
17:55It was unbelievable.
17:55Do you feel as though you were a beneficiary
17:57of having the right kind of teachers early in your career?
17:59Definitely.
18:00No, I just started in school like a lot of people.
18:05I had a great high school drama teacher
18:08who was kind of a hippie, kind of a wild woman.
18:10She was a single mom,
18:12but she was a very serious actress.
18:14She was a regional theater actress herself,
18:16and she made a big impression on me,
18:19and I ended up having like a long kind of strange relationship with her.
18:23She's now died,
18:24but she was kind of this big presence in my life,
18:28and I really appreciated that.
18:30And then I just kind of, you know, went to community college.
18:32I went to San Francisco State.
18:33Then I went to proper training,
18:35so I kind of just plotted my way along just because I loved it.
18:38You know, I just loved the craft.
18:40I still do.
18:40I just love the craft.
18:41It's fantastic.
18:42I mean, and then, I mean,
18:43not a lot of people get to work with this guy.
18:46Yeah, no, that was my first movie,
18:48and it really was that thing of like,
18:50I can't believe this.
18:51I'm like in a real movie with Dan.
18:54I played Dan Archibald's wife.
18:55Yeah.
18:56I was this rich, horrible woman,
19:00and never mind about that.
19:02Anyway, it was a gas.
19:04It was incredible.
19:05We were at a lake.
19:06We shot in a bass lake in California,
19:09and we would have to get up.
19:10You know, when you do movies,
19:11you get up so insanely early.
19:13It's like 4.30, you're getting up.
19:15But in those days, I was like,
19:17wow, great, 4.30, amazing.
19:19We have to drive around the lake?
19:21Oh, my God.
19:22That's why every movie should always have
19:24like two or three people
19:25who haven't been in movies before,
19:26just so everybody can ride their, like,
19:29youthful enthusiasm.
19:30Exactly.
19:31Well, congratulations on The Bride,
19:32and thank you so much for being here.
19:34It's always such a delight to see you.
19:35Thank you for having me.
19:36And I'm Benning, everyone.
19:36The Bride is in theaters.
19:38The Man Max Society will be right back
19:39with Robbie Hoffman, everybody.
19:58Welcome back, everybody.
19:59Our next guest is an Emmy-nominated actress,
20:02and very funny comedian you know
20:03from her work on Hacks.
20:05Tickets to her tour are available now,
20:07and her stand-up special Wake Up
20:08is streaming on Netflix.
20:10Let's take a look.
20:11Fellas, you have a gay thought.
20:12You keep that to yourself.
20:15You keep that to yourself.
20:19They're not allowed to be a little gay,
20:21but still, they got to get the little gay out somehow.
20:24Still there, it's going to seep the down.
20:27But they can only get the gay out
20:29in the ways that are appropriate,
20:31the ways that are socially acceptable, right?
20:35That's why they play football.
20:38Even gayer, they watch it.
20:40There's no other way to explain.
20:44A dude will wear a shirt
20:45with another man's name on it.
20:48I'm not making this up.
20:50A dude will be...
20:52Excuse me.
20:53He'll go to the store.
20:54He'll purchase a shirt.
20:55He'll pay extra
20:56to have another man's name
20:58embroidered onto the shirt.
21:01Please welcome to the show
21:02Robbie Upman, everybody!
21:18Ah!
21:19So happy you're here!
21:21Wow, perfect chair.
21:23Perfect.
21:23It's a good chair.
21:25It's been tested a lot over the years.
21:26Big for me.
21:27Oh, this is a good one.
21:28Glad you like it.
21:29This is a good one.
21:30I've heard you say in a lot of interviews,
21:32your special is one of the greatest specials
21:34in recent history.
21:36I don't say it because it's mine.
21:38I say it because it's true.
21:39Don't take it from me.
21:40I'm just going to...
21:41I'm echoing it.
21:41I want to back up the sentiment.
21:43I thought it was absolutely fantastic.
21:45By the grace of God.
21:46Can you imagine how good that special was?
21:48Oh.
21:49I don't have to imagine it.
21:50You can watch it.
21:51Unreal.
21:51Unreal.
21:52It's also put you in a weird situation
21:54because I would love for you to use this platform
21:56to promote your tour.
21:57Right.
21:58But you don't need to.
21:59There's very few tickets left.
22:01Well, we have...
22:02You know what?
22:02We checked the tickets.
22:03The tour has sold out faster than anything has sold out.
22:06I'm the Trump of comedians.
22:09There's never been a tour
22:10that has sold out like my tour.
22:13No, we actually have...
22:14The only seats left are accessible seats.
22:16So if you're a bitch in a wheelchair,
22:19you're in luck.
22:20Gotcha.
22:20You're in luck,
22:21which doesn't happen every day, right?
22:23It's not every day you're sitting there,
22:25disabled in America, going, great.
22:27Yeah.
22:27But for the Robbie Hoffman tour,
22:28this could be your in.
22:30That's fantastic.
22:31Look at that.
22:31A little sunshine.
22:32Robbiehoffman.com.
22:33Get your disabled, accessible seats.
22:36That's great.
22:37Well, so it has been nice to have this platform.
22:40I find this very hard to believe
22:41that based on how funny you are,
22:43I would have assumed from a very young age,
22:45comedy was your path,
22:46but you actually studied accounting in college.
22:49Well, yeah.
22:50I mean, I grew up poor.
22:51We don't have a path.
22:52You don't have a dream.
22:53There wasn't a hope.
22:54There wasn't an encouragement.
22:55Even if I should think I was funny,
22:58my mother would, you know, remind us,
23:00you're not special.
23:01Right.
23:02You know?
23:02I don't think.
23:03So, I mean, accounting, you know,
23:06was like, how do I get money?
23:08My only dream was ever to have money.
23:10Yeah.
23:10Now that I have some of it,
23:11it's even better than I ever thought.
23:13Right.
23:14It really hits the spot.
23:16Like, you can't imagine, but it really hits.
23:19When did you decide,
23:20when did you officially wave goodbye to accounting?
23:22When did that split happen?
23:25Well, you know, as soon as I had some money,
23:27I could finally breathe and think.
23:29I think the poor don't get to dream anymore.
23:31I mean, I know I'm going to be playing a page
23:33for a video here.
23:35I get to be an intern at the Seth Show.
23:36And I always wanted to do that
23:38because that seemed like what rich kids do,
23:40is they intern.
23:41They don't need to make no money.
23:43You know, I'm at the McDonald's,
23:45but I would have been a great intern.
23:47So now I get to do it, finally.
23:49It's never too late.
23:50So we'll see.
23:52We'd love to have...
23:54What is the first time on stage?
23:56What happened?
23:58I mean, to call it a stage,
24:00it was, I would say,
24:01it was a cross between some dude's apartment
24:03and a homeless shelter.
24:06Winter in Montreal.
24:09You know, very lackadaisical rules.
24:12They were smoking inside.
24:13Of course, it's freezing,
24:14so the windows were closed.
24:16So visibility was low.
24:18Yeah.
24:19Just a smoky, small room.
24:22Yeah.
24:22You could see the two, you know,
24:25strung out dudes in the front,
24:27and that was it.
24:28So the two minutes that I lasted
24:31before I passed out from smoke inhalation
24:33were great.
24:34Yeah.
24:35I was a natural.
24:37You mentioned your mom saying,
24:39you know, you're not special if you're funny.
24:41You're the seventh of ten.
24:43Right.
24:44And...
24:45Everybody funny.
24:46Everybody funny.
24:47Everybody.
24:47I come from some of the funniest people.
24:49The neighborhood was...
24:50Everybody was funny.
24:51Again, but there's no opportunity.
24:52Nobody dreams.
24:53Yeah.
24:54But you're just funny
24:55for the sake of being funny.
24:56Was your mom funny?
24:57I mean, it was heartbreaking and funny
24:58simultaneously all the time.
25:00I remember something that I used to like
25:02was when the clothes came out of the dryer
25:04and my mother would put it on her bed to fold.
25:06I would always jump on the clothes
25:08for some warmth, the heat.
25:10No, we weren't that.
25:12How big a violin can I get?
25:15And I remember once I was just like
25:17kind of daydreaming and on the clothes.
25:19My mother was pulling them from under me
25:20and I clocked this jar
25:23that my mother had in the room on her table.
25:25And I was like, it was like a piggy bank jar.
25:28It used to be like a peanut butter jar,
25:30but she made it like she somehow stabbed it
25:33to get the little thing.
25:35And she had a label like taped on it
25:37and it said Hoffman Emergency Fund
25:39and it had like seven pennies in it.
25:42And I literally burst out loud.
25:45I said, Ma, what the hell is this?
25:46She goes, well, you know,
25:47she read it in O Magazine, Oprah's Magazine.
25:50I mean, you know, Oprah telling people,
25:52pennies add up.
25:54Not like that they don't.
25:55Not if you've had ten kids, okay?
26:00Pennies add up.
26:01She read this.
26:02I'm like, this is the plan?
26:04Yeah.
26:04This is the plan.
26:06But yeah, I once asked my mother
26:07how she had ten kids.
26:09She never thought about it.
26:10I said, you know,
26:11how did you even have all this?
26:12She said, I don't know.
26:13It seems every time I went to bed,
26:14I woke up pregnant.
26:16So one of the most disgusting things.
26:20Enormous vagina.
26:21Oh.
26:23Do your siblings support you now?
26:25Do they come out and see a Robbie show?
26:28I mean, support.
26:29My brother goes, can I get 16 tickets?
26:31It's like, you can't ask anyone
26:34for 16 of something.
26:35It's insane.
26:36Yeah.
26:37He's like, come on,
26:38I want to go with the guys for work.
26:39I'm like, they're obviously working
26:41so they could buy a ticket.
26:42No?
26:44Like, why am I giving
26:45working people free?
26:49Your wife, Gabby Windy,
26:50I want to ask.
26:51This is fantastic.
26:53I mean, you're both.
26:54And I mean this,
26:55like, am I not living
26:56one of the greatest lives
26:57you've heard about?
26:57And it happens to be mine.
26:58I can't believe it either.
27:00Yeah.
27:00And you're both thriving.
27:02Like, it's a wonderful thing
27:03where two people in a relationship
27:04are both thriving.
27:05It's unreal.
27:05It's unreal.
27:06She was on Traders.
27:08One Traders.
27:09One Traders.
27:10Now, were you confident
27:12when she embarked
27:13to do Traders
27:14that she would do well
27:15on the show?
27:16Yeah, I didn't give a
27:17about anybody else
27:18on this show.
27:19Okay, Seth?
27:20We got one call a week
27:24chaperoned with a producer.
27:25Oh, because of the secrecy of it?
27:27Secrecy, okay.
27:27Chaperoned meaning
27:28they were on the line with you?
27:29They were on...
27:29First of all,
27:30we weren't even going to get a call.
27:32At the beginning,
27:32it was like,
27:33oh, she could be gone
27:34for weeks, months.
27:34I don't know where she...
27:35I'm like,
27:35I got to know
27:36if the bitch got to Ireland.
27:37Like, what are we talking about here?
27:39Or Scotland,
27:39wherever they had her.
27:40One of these is the same.
27:42Yeah.
27:42Okay.
27:43Those are just...
27:43To you, those are the same.
27:45Scotland, Ireland.
27:46Show of hands.
27:46Who knows the difference?
27:49These people don't even know
27:50where Canada is.
27:51Never mind.
27:53So, we had a chaperoned call.
27:55She was able to negotiate.
27:56And I said,
27:57okay, well, I need...
27:58You know,
27:59I need to know
27:59if she's going to be the traitor
28:00or the other one or whatever.
28:01So I said,
28:01we'll set up a code.
28:02This is before she left?
28:03Yeah.
28:04I said, babe,
28:04if on the call,
28:05I'll ask you
28:05so you've seen any animals.
28:07Okay.
28:07I don't know
28:08if they have the white owl
28:09or the fox in Scotland.
28:11I don't know what they have,
28:13you know?
28:13So if I bring up
28:14anything with the animals,
28:16you know to say,
28:17if you say,
28:18yes,
28:18oh, I saw an owl.
28:19I saw...
28:20I know you're a traitor.
28:21Interesting.
28:22If at any point I say,
28:23you've seen any animals,
28:25you'll know what to do.
28:27Foolproof, I would say.
28:27Yeah.
28:28This is very good coding.
28:29Yeah, out of nowhere.
28:29So I go,
28:30you've seen any animals?
28:31They're like,
28:31no codes!
28:32They were like on it.
28:34They were like on it.
28:37Caught red-handed.
28:38So you had to wait.
28:39Did you never know
28:40until the finale?
28:41Or I guess at that point,
28:42you knew.
28:43Oh, no.
28:43Gabby tells me everything.
28:44Yeah.
28:45We're a married couple.
28:47Like, with these NDAs,
28:48it's like,
28:48I'm sure it says
28:49somewhere in the fine print,
28:51but except your wife.
28:52Yeah.
28:52I mean, what do we...
28:54It's your wife.
28:55We tell each other,
28:56it's not keeping secret
28:57with this network over me.
28:59Yeah.
28:59Or family.
29:00That's crazy.
29:01I agree.
29:01That's crazy.
29:02It's insane.
29:02She is a former ICU nurse.
29:05I mean,
29:05do you go to her constantly
29:06for medical advice?
29:10I mean,
29:11she's my...
29:12I get a second opinion.
29:13She's a great first.
29:14Oh, you...
29:15What she's offended by,
29:17she's upset that
29:18that's not the end-all be-all.
29:20Okay,
29:20now this is her first time
29:21with a Jew.
29:22Uh-huh.
29:22So she's an amazing
29:23first opinion,
29:24and then we go,
29:26and we get one second opinion,
29:27and then I'm done.
29:28Gotcha.
29:28So she split my research in half.
29:31Okay, gotcha.
29:32Yeah.
29:32And she's offended
29:33because she feels like
29:34that should be...
29:35She should be your last stop.
29:36Yeah, she's...
29:37I've got a doctor at home,
29:38especially,
29:39but, but, but,
29:40you know what?
29:41It's better.
29:41You know, I, I, I...
29:43You know,
29:43she does it almost
29:45like office hours.
29:45If I have a little this
29:46or I'm looking at this,
29:47she'll be like,
29:48and it's closed today.
29:49You got to come back tomorrow now.
29:50Oh, interesting.
29:51You know,
29:51she'll cut me off
29:52with my advice.
29:53Have you, uh,
29:54have you ever gotten
29:55a second opinion
29:55that was wildly divergent
29:57from her first opinion?
29:58No, she's always right.
29:58Oh, that's good.
29:59Yeah, she's always right.
30:00But not,
30:01she has not been right enough
30:02for you not to get the second.
30:03She, it's not even personal.
30:05I just grew up.
30:06You get a second opinion.
30:08Gotcha.
30:08Like, she could...
30:09This is cultural.
30:09It's not personal.
30:10It's cultural.
30:12Nobody's doubting
30:12that you're right or wrong.
30:13I think your advice
30:15is phenomenal,
30:15but you get
30:16a second opinion.
30:18It is just not personal
30:20to me.
30:21Yeah, I totally understand.
30:22Um, it's a fantastic special.
30:24I just want to,
30:25I just want to sing
30:25its praises one more time,
30:26and I really, uh,
30:28congratulations on the tour.
30:29I'm very jealous
30:30if everybody gets to see you.
30:31I'm sorry, uh, you know,
30:33there are no seats available,
30:34except for a couple.
30:35There are no seats,
30:36unless you break your legs
30:37in the next...
30:37I can help you out behind.
30:39I am Robbie Hoffman.
30:41My podcast,
30:42too far,
30:43is Patreon only.
30:45We do not accept
30:46corporate dollars
30:46as they won't give them to us.
30:48And I'm Robbie Hoffman
30:49on Instagram.
30:49I'll see you guys on the road.
30:51By the grace of God,
30:51thanks for having me.
30:52Robbie Hoffman,
30:53everybody take it.
30:54We're all in that.
30:55Wake up.
30:55See you on Netflix.
31:16Our next guest
31:17is an award-winning author
31:19whose new novel,
31:20her fifth kin,
31:21was published last week.
31:23Please welcome back
31:23to the show,
31:24Tayari Jones, everybody.
31:42Welcome back,
31:43my friend.
31:44How are you?
31:45I'm feeling good.
31:46I'm glad.
31:47It's eight years
31:48to the month
31:48that you were last with us.
31:50Has it been eight years?
31:51Isn't that something?
31:52It took me a long time.
31:54Well, you got to work
31:55and you finished
31:57this wonderful novel,
31:57but I also read
31:59that this was not
32:00the novel you set out
32:01to write.
32:02Well, that's why
32:03it took me eight years.
32:03Yeah, I would say.
32:04I had a contract
32:05to write an entirely
32:07different novel.
32:07It was supposed to be
32:08like a modern novel,
32:10hip, about Atlanta
32:11and gentrification,
32:13but like my students
32:14would say,
32:15like the book
32:16was not booking.
32:17Yeah.
32:17I was trying to write it.
32:18It was a good idea.
32:20It felt like I was
32:21like on a blind date
32:23with a good idea.
32:24Yeah.
32:24But there was no chemistry.
32:26Sure.
32:26And so what am I going to do?
32:28Like, I've accepted
32:29this contract.
32:30I've accepted this advance.
32:31I have spent this advance.
32:33Yes.
32:34The advance is gone.
32:36So I just took out
32:38a notebook
32:39and a pencil,
32:40not even a,
32:41like a pencil like that,
32:41like not even a pen.
32:43And I just started
32:44scribbling around
32:45just to see
32:46what was in my mind.
32:47Now, so what happened then?
32:49Like, when did this come out?
32:51Just, did it turn out
32:52it was in your mind
32:53the whole time?
32:54I don't know
32:55if it was in my mind
32:55the whole time.
32:56Yeah.
32:57But it had arrived
32:58and I was writing
33:00and I started writing
33:01about these two best friends,
33:03but they were living
33:04in the 1950s.
33:06And I thought,
33:08well, that's weird
33:09because I believe myself
33:11to contain multitudes.
33:12Yeah.
33:13But I do not believe myself
33:14to contain a historical novel.
33:16But there it was.
33:18And I thought, well,
33:19maybe these are
33:20my character's parents.
33:22And after I got about,
33:24what, 150 pages in,
33:25I had to accept that
33:27it wasn't backstory,
33:28but it was the story.
33:30Now, do you think
33:31it does at least help
33:32to start writing one
33:33that's not working
33:34to help shake out
33:35one that is?
33:37I mean, it worked for me.
33:38I don't want to do,
33:39I don't ever want
33:40to do that again.
33:41Yeah.
33:42Yeah.
33:42That is not
33:43my new process.
33:44When you told them,
33:46hey, that thing I said
33:48I was going to write
33:49and you gave me money for
33:50and I spent that money,
33:51I have a different thing.
33:52Like, how long
33:53did it take them
33:54to embrace that the new idea
33:55was the better idea?
33:56Oh, I didn't tell them.
33:57I just kind of, like,
33:58gave it to them
33:58and, like, ran out the room.
34:00I figured they would realize it.
34:02Yeah.
34:03Well, that's very helpful.
34:04I feel like if they're good
34:05at what they do, like,
34:06I mean, they just want
34:07a good book.
34:09I guess so.
34:10But I was nervous.
34:11You know, it was like,
34:11almost like they had,
34:13you know,
34:13ordered the salmon
34:14and I gave them the steak.
34:16Yeah.
34:17Although the thing is,
34:18at least then you know
34:19right away,
34:19they were probably, like,
34:20200 pages in being like,
34:21I don't think this is salmon.
34:25So you mentioned
34:26your two characters,
34:27Vernice and Annie.
34:29Sort of later in the book,
34:30they start writing letters
34:31to one another.
34:32We talked about,
34:32last time you were here,
34:33we talked about you
34:34as a letter writer
34:34and how you were writing
34:36five to six letters a week
34:38and how people
34:40were not actually,
34:41you weren't getting
34:41a lot of return
34:42on your efforts.
34:42Not even from my own mother.
34:44Unbelievable.
34:45I know.
34:45So you were just
34:46basically writing letters,
34:47which, receiving a letter
34:48is such an incredible gift,
34:49but you were basically
34:50just doing it for yourself
34:51at that point.
34:51Well, I get some back.
34:53Yeah.
34:54A few.
34:55Yeah.
34:55On my birthday.
34:56Do you still do it?
34:57Do you still do five
34:57or six a week?
34:58I do.
34:59I do.
34:59I have faith in people.
35:01And do you write,
35:02is it the same?
35:04They're very happy.
35:05They all,
35:06they're all hoping
35:06they're going to get
35:07a letter one day.
35:08Did you,
35:09do you write
35:09to the same people
35:10or do you just sort of
35:11write to new people?
35:12I write to the same people,
35:14but also, you know,
35:14I belong to like pen pal society.
35:17Right.
35:17And so I write to strangers.
35:19Yeah.
35:19Yeah.
35:20Well, then.
35:21I'll write to you.
35:22I hope so.
35:23Yeah.
35:24It's weird, like,
35:24eight years in,
35:25you write to strangers
35:26and I'm nothing.
35:26No, no, I got you.
35:28You're a college professor.
35:29I am.
35:30And you mentioned
35:31your students, you know,
35:32the book wasn't booking.
35:33Do you, do you take
35:34wisdom from them?
35:35Is being around
35:36younger writers helpful,
35:38as helpful to you
35:39as you are to them?
35:41I feel like my students
35:42really keep me honest.
35:44Like, there was a time
35:45when I couldn't get
35:46a contract for a book
35:47and I wanted to cast it aside,
35:49but I tell the students,
35:50you write the book,
35:51your heart calls you to write.
35:53So I could not discard
35:55my own project
35:56and face them.
35:58So I feel like they keep me,
35:59they keep me young,
36:00but I don't mean
36:01in terms of all the slang
36:03and vernacular they have.
36:04I feel like they keep me,
36:05they keep me idealistic.
36:07That's a very nice thing
36:08to be kept.
36:09So far, so good.
36:10Yeah.
36:12You're going on a book tour.
36:13I think 24 cities
36:14to talk about this book.
36:15Do you enjoy going to readings,
36:18being around the people
36:19who engage with your work?
36:20I do.
36:21I love, I feel like
36:22I'm so lucky that my books
36:23are read by really cool people.
36:25Oh, that's great.
36:25For the most part.
36:26Yeah.
36:28Did you used to,
36:29in your early days
36:30of going out on the road,
36:31doing things like book festivals?
36:32Did you have trepidation
36:33about the travel?
36:34I didn't have trepidation,
36:36but I probably should have.
36:38Okay.
36:39One time,
36:41I got kidnapped
36:42in Martha's Vineyard.
36:43You got kidnapped
36:44in Martha's Vineyard?
36:45Yes.
36:46Well, it's hard.
36:46You know, it's an island.
36:47Yeah.
36:47You only get so far.
36:48Right.
36:48But this woman,
36:50she had on a T-shirt
36:52from the festival,
36:52and she said to me,
36:54I'm the one
36:54that's taking you to lunch.
36:55Okay.
36:56I got in her car,
36:57uh-huh.
36:58Fastened myself
36:59into the car,
37:00and she took off
37:01in the opposite direction
37:02of where we're supposed
37:03to be going.
37:04Uh-huh.
37:04And she started telling me
37:06how she had all these
37:06challenges in her life
37:07because of her
37:09fervent devotion to me.
37:11Uh-oh.
37:11I know, it's weird, right?
37:13And so that's when I knew
37:13something was weird.
37:14Right.
37:14Were you worried
37:15that you'd accidentally
37:16written her a letter?
37:19Like, she took me
37:20to a restaurant.
37:21Okay.
37:22And she,
37:23I sat next to her,
37:24and she started ordering,
37:25like, lobster,
37:26this, like, seafood type,
37:27lobster, crab, oyster,
37:29bottles of Dom Perignon.
37:30Wow.
37:31It was really weird,
37:31and I was like,
37:32I really have to go.
37:33And she said,
37:33well, you can go,
37:34but leave your purse.
37:36And I was like,
37:36I really need my purse.
37:37So I sat there,
37:38and so she drank
37:38the whole bottle by herself.
37:39I took just one sip,
37:40just one sip.
37:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:41I didn't want to make her,
37:41I didn't want to, you know,
37:42alert her that I was alerted.
37:44Yeah.
37:44And then finally,
37:45I said, I need my purse,
37:46because I have to go put on lipsticks,
37:47and she let me have my purse.
37:48And then I went in the kitchen
37:50of the restaurant,
37:50and I said,
37:51excuse me, y'all,
37:52I've been kidnapped.
37:54And they said,
37:55there's a door over there.
37:56Yeah.
37:57And so I just went out the door.
37:59Unbelievable.
37:59It was raining.
38:00I went to a hotel,
38:01it's Martha's Vineyard.
38:02I went to a hotel
38:02and waited 45 minutes for a cab.
38:04Now, that is crazy,
38:06because I do feel like
38:07the kitchen staff
38:08might have been like,
38:09you're not kidnapped.
38:11I was.
38:12I know,
38:12but they're watching you
38:13eat lobster and champagne.
38:15Against my will.
38:17Against your will.
38:18Yes.
38:19But you do appreciate
38:20that as far as like,
38:21kidnappings go,
38:23you ended up in like,
38:24the top tranche.
38:27Did you tell,
38:28like, did you share with family
38:29that you had been kidnapped?
38:30I didn't want my mama to worry.
38:32Yeah.
38:33Right.
38:33And she knows now,
38:34because she's watching.
38:35Yeah.
38:36Well, I think enough time has passed.
38:38Did you ever see your abductor
38:40ever again?
38:41I did not,
38:42but I did take her picture.
38:43Oh, that's good.
38:43I said, let's get a selfie,
38:45just in case.
38:46Yeah.
38:46For evidence.
38:47Oh, that's good evidence.
38:48Like, I hopefully,
38:49by the way,
38:50hopefully, like,
38:50the lobster wasn't in the background,
38:52because when you bring that
38:53to the police,
38:53they're like,
38:54ma'am,
38:55this is not a kidnapping.
38:58But, fair enough.
38:59Yeah.
38:59I'm glad you escaped.
39:00And, you know,
39:01I feel,
39:01my sister said,
39:02only you,
39:03only you would get kidnapped
39:04and force-fed lobster.
39:08Hey, congratulations
39:09on the new book.
39:10It's so good to have you back.
39:12Barry Jones, everyone.
39:13Pins available now
39:14wherever you buy your books.
39:15Stick around.
39:27Come join the audience
39:28at Late Night Live
39:29in Studio 8G.
39:30For tickets,
39:31head over to
39:32LateNightSethTickets.com.
39:33Follow us at Late Night Seth
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39:37Subscribe to Late Night Seth
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39:39Find us online
39:40at LateNightSeth.com.
39:42And subscribe
39:43to the Late Night Podcast,
39:44featuring a closer look,
39:45guest interviews,
39:46and more.
39:47Available wherever
39:48you listen to podcasts.
39:56I want to thank my guest
39:58to Ned Benning,
39:59Roddy Hoffman,
40:00Teary Jones, everybody.
40:01Thank you all for watching.
40:03We love you.
40:33Thank you all for watching.
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