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Celebs Go Dating S15E01 (2026)
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00:00You bring me joy
00:02Celebs Go Day In is back!
00:04Yes!
00:08Kicking off the line-up this year, we've got
00:11The Lean Mean Rapping Machine
00:13Professor Green
00:15I might be asexual
00:16All green, no beans
00:18Pop legend and loose woman, Colleen Nolan
00:21Hi, how are you?
00:22I'm in the mood
00:23England rugby colossus, James Haskell
00:26This is scary
00:28Aussie math star, Lucinda Lyne
00:31Three since four since more since
00:33Love Islander and SAS survivor, Gabby Allen
00:36I'm just in the business
00:37Joy!
00:40And making his return, the reality icon
00:43Hello you cheeky boggers
00:45David Potts
00:47I'm ready for someone to put a bloody ring on it
00:50And if that's not enough, dropping in later
00:52We've got baller and YouTuber, P.K. Humble
00:55I'm not going to do a number two, I promise
00:57OK
00:58Oh God!
00:59Can this lot put in the graft?
01:01It's like someone with a pulse
01:03It's just really bad
01:04Like is it?
01:05Swerve the drama
01:06Did you kiss him?
01:09I would love to get a step ladder and climb up you
01:12And overcome heartache
01:14It felt so easy to fall in love and be in love
01:18People don't hear men talk about this, right?
01:22To find the one
01:23To find the one
01:23People have always told me that they can imagine me with a rugby player
01:26Oh really?
01:27I mean I couldn't say stuff
01:28This is going to be good
01:30Who would you like to bring with you to Tenerife?
01:32Wow
01:33Sexy baby
01:34Hello
01:34As our celebs
01:35My dick is cuddling
01:37Go
01:37You could do a lot of spunking in here
01:40Dating?
01:41My tits might fall out
01:42I don't know if I'm excited or I'm going to be sick
01:50Welcome to a brand new series of Celebs Go Dating
01:55This year we're kicking things off in the capital with
01:58No, not a mixer
01:59The celebs are being treated to one of Tom Reid Wilson's infamous DP sessions
02:06It's a dinner party
02:08Oh
02:10There isn't a big enough hope
02:12There you go
02:13Before the agents set them on their dating journeys
02:16They want to know exactly who they're working with
02:18At an intimate spill the beans dinner soiree
02:21Yum yum
02:22Now I'm just going to tug you gingerly
02:26Mmm, he's touching cloth
02:28There
02:28So let's dispense with the needless fluffing
02:31And start stuffing this place
02:33Because our first celeb is here
02:35And hold up, it is massive
02:38Needed no introduction
02:39He might have lost himself
02:43But he's here to find romance
02:46Yes
02:47It's
02:49Ah, of course
02:50You saw him at the start
02:52With a PhD in Hip Hop
02:54Now looking for an education in love
02:56Is Professor Green
02:58This ain't so stereotypical man
03:01Not for a stereotypical man
03:03It should be me the ones that get rid of you
03:05Hello, my name is Steven Manderson
03:08Hello Steven
03:09People may know me better by the name Professor Green
03:14I'd say so, yeah
03:14I would describe myself as awkward, annoying, intolerable, insufferable, but kind
03:21Pro-G and Made in Chelsea star Millie Mackintosh divorced in 2016
03:27Then Steven became a dad in 2021 before splitting up with his partner six months ago
03:33Being a dad and having a son
03:36It's the most important and most significant thing in my life
03:39If someone's going on a date with me, I would much rather than not have Googled me
03:43But then again, low expectations are easy to exceed
03:48Can't wait to get in front of Paul and be like, assess me
03:50Tell me where I've gone wrong
03:51I clearly need some help
03:55Professor Green
03:56Steven, please, good evening
03:57Steven
03:58How you doing?
03:59Drop the title
04:01It's just a nom de plume
04:02I don't know what that means
04:04It'll be something to do with plums, knowing Tom
04:06Your work is sublime
04:07I suffer with compliments, by the way, so
04:09Oh, do you?
04:10Yeah, if I seem awkward, it's because I am
04:11I will stem the flow in that case
04:13Because I can be like a machine gun volley often
04:16Yeah, well shove a thumb up your barrel, Tom
04:18Because the next celeb is inbound
04:22It's former Richard and Judy's son-in-law, James Haskell
04:25He played some rugby too
04:26I played rugby, I was very lucky to play for my country
04:29I was lucky to play around the world
04:31I now DJ and make music
04:39James was previously married to TV presenter and personal trainer, Chloe Madeley
04:43I was with Chloe, I met her in 2015
04:47And we got married, got a daughter called Bodie, who's three and a bit
04:52You know, we separated two and a half years ago now
04:56Dating later on in your life is definitely a bit like the wild west
04:59It doesn't matter how big you are, how cool you think you are
05:02Going up to a girl and ask for the number and then getting dismissed
05:06Still digs you out
05:08Oh, not for me that
05:09I've got high expectations of the agents
05:11Every day's a school day
05:13And school's in session
05:14What could possibly go wrong?
05:16You'd be surprised the massive bloke from the chase drunk a candle last year
05:21Hang on, where's the crutch come from?
05:22He didn't have one on the walking-in shots
05:24How's he injured himself already?
05:26How you doing? I'm James, lovely to meet you
05:27How are you? How lovely to meet you
05:30You are?
05:30It's not just a sympathy
05:31No, no, I wish it was, I wish it was
05:33It's a hell of a story, but no
05:33Do you know, you and I have an awful lot in common
05:36Do we?
05:36Mmm
05:37You've both seen Richard Madeley's knob?
05:39And we've both been in the junk
05:40I know, you were amazing
05:41Ah, yeah, that was it
05:42Did you have to eat anything, Garcy?
05:44I had to drink pig's penis
05:45Pig's vagina, I didn't mind
05:47Because I had it in solid and liquid form
05:49Oh yeah?
05:49And in solid form it was a bit like a, kind of a, a bacon-y radish
05:53But hairier, I suspect
05:55What a normal conversation
05:56Perfect, perfect
05:57As these two jungle vets swap war stories
06:00Stranding now a tastier treat
06:05She's baking it
06:06And I'm talking smoke
06:07It's the radishing bite-sized Love Islander, Gabby Allen
06:12I'm Gabby, I'm 33
06:14And you might know me from Love Island and Celebrity SAS
06:17Love Island was an amazing experience
06:19Because I just sit there in a bikini and have a lovely time
06:23And then SAS is the complete opposite
06:24Oh my God
06:27Shit, is that Toadfish?
06:30It's hell on earth, but so rewarding
06:33Let's go
06:33Gabby, not Toadfish
06:35Leave him alone
06:37I've been single for two years
06:39Everyone that I'm going for is just about initial impressions
06:42And then it all goes downhill
06:44I have the worst beer goggles
06:46Give me a margarita and I'll snog anyone
06:49Barman, one margarita please
06:50And some mints
06:51I'm 33 and I feel like all the good ones might be taken by now
06:54However, statistically they'll probably be divorced soon
06:57And then I can probably get with them once they're out of that first marriage
07:00Come to me with better equipment
07:04Doubt it, their equipment won't have been used since having kids
07:07Agents, bring them to me
07:11Oh my God
07:12I'm so nervous
07:13I'm so excited
07:13Oh
07:14Can I give you a libation?
07:16Yes, please
07:16Thank you
07:17Will that help?
07:18Hello
07:18How are you?
07:20Nice to meet you
07:21Oh, it's lovely to meet you
07:23Oh, perfect
07:23In between two guys already
07:25Both divorced?
07:26Right up your alley Gabby
07:27You look as braced and ready for romance as anybody ever could
07:32Okay, that's good
07:33He didn't say that to us
07:34Hard luck Haskell
07:35Well brace yourself for another Tom
07:37Cause our next celebs are always ready for romance
07:40It's the wonder from down under
07:42Aussie math star Lucinda Light
07:45I'm Lucinda Light
07:47G'day
07:47I am 45 years of age
07:50And I'm looking for love
07:52After married at first sight
07:54I'm ready to take a punt on love again
07:56Walking toward him
07:58I thought, ooh, solid and nice bump
08:00Like I was actually just checking him out
08:03Being a total pearl
08:04Much like my wife on our wedding day
08:06Dirty cow
08:07I want some top tier, quality, fabulous men
08:12That have got their shit together
08:15Dr Tara talks about big plish energy
08:18But in Australia we call it big pussy energy
08:21And that's what I'm here to do
08:22Bring my big pussy energy
08:24Yeah, not sure if UK men are looking for a big pussy
08:27Gotta be honest with you
08:28I'm a juicy wet and wild woman
08:30You know, splish splash
08:32So let's go
08:33I hope Tom's brought his caution wet floor sign
08:35Or at least a mop and bucket
08:39That is a bald eagle isn't it?
08:41Eyes up Tommy boy
08:42Is it bald?
08:44You should know
08:44I suppose they all are
08:46It is utterly majestic
08:48Ah, we're talking about her dress
08:50Shame
08:51Also the other thing I like about it is that the talons are out
08:54Yes
08:55Ready to clasp some prey
08:57It is a metaphor
08:58I am ready to claw them in
09:01Let's go
09:01Having got an eye full of Lucinda's bald eagle
09:04I am in the mood for another love hungry celeb
09:06If my bald was bald
09:09It's pop royalty and loose women legend Killeen Nolan
09:14Woo
09:14I am probably best known for loose women
09:17But just take the brow off
09:19Oh no Kay
09:21Why?
09:22Because then I can tuck them in my chub rub knickers
09:26I am not selling myself am I?
09:28Any form of dating app is out the window
09:31Not true
09:32My mate Sad Alan met his wife on chubbrubbers.com
09:35Also from my singing days with the Nolan sisters
09:39It was a mad time, it was an amazing time
09:45I am very romantic
09:47I have been in love on numerous occasions
09:50My first marriage ended because of infidelities
09:56Husband number one was none other than East Ender Alfie Moon
09:59AKA Shane Ritchie
10:01Then my second marriage just grew apart
10:03I have been single for about 18 months
10:08I kind of need help
10:10You want to be a part of my life then we are a team
10:12I am not there to be a servant
10:14Unless you ask nicely
10:16God almighty what the hell am I doing?
10:21Oh look at him
10:25Beautiful Scarlett
10:26Oh thank you
10:27This is most becoming most
10:29Can I offer you a tip?
10:30I just want to listen to him all day
10:31Yeah she's a loose woman
10:33She can take hours of pointless drivel
10:35So nervous
10:36I know it is terribly nerve wracking
10:39I also think the nerves are such a good sign
10:41Because they're a sign of caring deeply
10:43Yes
10:43You're right
10:44You know
10:44And last up someone who's never knowingly nervous
10:47Yes ding ding he's back in the ring
10:50The one the only David Potts
10:54I'm back
10:58Agents I'm ready for round two
11:00I am David Potts and I am 32 years old
11:05I know I don't look it
11:06Who's going to tell him?
11:08I would describe myself as a nice, fun, bubbly character
11:15With a big gob and very long legs
11:18Shake it down to the floor
11:19Get low get low
11:20I've done Ibiza weekend
11:21A celebrity karaoke club
11:23Slebs on the farm
11:24Celebrity big brother
11:25Have done Slebs Gordain
11:27But that was eight years ago
11:28I do want someone like as tall as me
11:30If not a little bit taller
11:31Like someone who's like straight acting
11:33Like beefy
11:34Lighter coloured hair
11:35What the hell?
11:35Straight acting
11:36Beefy light hair
11:37I'm here for you big boy
11:38Wrap those legs around me
11:40This time
11:41I want a man
11:42I want a husband
11:43I've had situationships
11:45I've been seeing people
11:47But I've never had a
11:48We are
11:49Boyfriend
11:50And boyfriend
11:54You're corresponding
11:55You're shimmering
11:56I'm so excited guys
11:58We've been so excited
12:00To have you restored to our bosom
12:02Thank you my love
12:03We really really have
12:04Thank you
12:05You might be a balm
12:06For everybody's souls
12:07Because everybody's feeling
12:09Very very nervous
12:10Oh no guys
12:12It's so much fun
12:14Because you did it once before
12:15Yeah I did this like eight years ago
12:17Definitely a different mindset
12:19For me this time
12:20Yeah there's been an evolution
12:22I can see
12:22Yeah for sure
12:23Yeah alright Tom
12:24That'll do
12:25They're chuffing starving
12:26And you've promised them some grub
12:27Shall we get a move on?
12:28Well darlings
12:30It's time for you
12:31To follow me
12:32Oh
12:32Here we go
12:34Where's he taking us?
12:35Trust me sometimes
12:36It's best not to ask
12:40Just feels ineffably grand
12:42And speaking of grand
12:44I reckon the little fella
12:45Has pulled a blinder here
12:46Very plush
12:47Full marks Thomas
12:48Oh wow
12:50Wow
12:50Wow
12:51Now you will find your name cards
12:54Hither and yawn
12:55Oh my word
12:56That's so stunning
12:58Why are we so spread apart?
13:00Obviously there are three holes
13:02One up top, one up front
13:04And one round the back
13:05For special occasions only
13:06And these gaps are to be filled
13:09Where's he going with this?
13:10By the Merlins of romance
13:15Well hocus pocus my bum hole
13:18If it isn't the magic circle of love themselves
13:20Alaka bloody zam
13:22It's
13:23The one, the only
13:25Mr Paul C Brunson
13:28Relationship guru Anna Williamson
13:32And pint sized sexpert
13:34Dr Tara
13:44Oh my goodness
13:45It is so good to be back
13:47With a whole new bunch of celebs
13:48All looking for love
13:50I cannot wait to get under their skin
13:52And find out what makes them tick
13:54Bring it on
13:56This is going to be epic
13:57Hi, how are you doing?
13:58Hello my love
13:59Well this is a bit boosh
14:01I know it's gorgeous isn't it?
14:02Isn't it?
14:03Can I give a big hello
14:05To everyone at this table?
14:07Yes
14:07Very much
14:08I want to say hello and welcome
14:10Oh god
14:11Tension music already?
14:12What's going on Paul?
14:14What you're about to go on
14:15Is going to be the most incredible ride
14:17Okay?
14:19How are you all feeling about that?
14:21Everyone looks a little bit nervous
14:22I just took a deep breath
14:23And I haven't let it out yet
14:25Tonight
14:25It's not about an ordinary dinner
14:27At all
14:28This is a dinner party
14:29With a twist
14:31Rub my job
14:32We are so back
14:42Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating
14:44Where the class of 26
14:46Have had a good old probing by Tom
14:48And now he's handed them over to the Brundog
14:50Who's wasted no time
14:52In getting straight down to business
14:55Tonight is not about an ordinary dinner at all
14:58This is a dinner party with a twist
15:03This time we're doing things differently
15:07So we can truly understand who you are
15:10And what you need
15:12Wow
15:12The agents are on full banter lockdown
15:15F-B-L
15:16Now it may not be the mixer you were expecting
15:19But don't worry
15:20Because one is coming
15:22Alright?
15:23And it will keep you firmly on your dating toes
15:25Oh I don't know if I'm excited
15:27I'm going to be sick
15:28I have a question
15:29Mr James
15:30Yes
15:31You present very confident
15:33For someone who really presents as
15:35You've got your act together
15:36Right?
15:37When you look back at the marriage
15:39Where did it go wrong?
15:41Cheers Paul for that
15:42Absolutely no time for a starter
15:44Before you're already demanding
15:45To know the inner workings of my marriage
15:47It's very easy in racing at Breakdowns
15:50To talk about the other person
15:51Look you're only in control of how you behave
15:53And I think you know
15:55Pretty early on when we had a daughter
15:57Coincide with me
15:58Having lots of DJ trips away
16:00And it was the first time
16:01That part of my career was going really well
16:03And I probably took a piss a little bit
16:05But I'd stay out an extra night
16:06And you know
16:07And I should have come home
16:08And I probably just didn't
16:10Support her enough
16:11And I didn't get that stuff right
16:12So I was very excited to come here
16:14Be open minded
16:15Let you tell me what you think
16:17Sometimes you need to look at
16:19Your own kind of behaviours
16:21The way you are
16:22I'm sort of really keen
16:23To kind of explore that
16:24And maybe just
16:25Have some of the rough edges
16:26Moved off you know
16:27And see if I can
16:28If I can make it work and be better
16:29Thank you so much for sharing
16:31And I think what you've done
16:32Is you've just given
16:34Everyone permission
16:35To be able to be
16:36Just as vulnerable
16:37So thank you
16:38Bravo
16:38Thank you
16:39Stephen you seem quite nervous
16:41Yeah
16:42Yeah
16:42Yeah
16:43He looks like he's about to drop
16:44A little Professor Brown
16:46What are you nervous about?
16:48Everything
16:48Yeah
16:49All of it at the moment
16:50But
16:51Do you know what?
16:52I'd love to get under the hood
16:53Of the psychology
16:54You know
16:55I'd love to hear
16:56From people who actually know
16:57What they're doing
16:58As far as dating
16:59And love
17:00About myself
17:01I think we're always our own blind spots
17:03Man's going deep
17:05Man's going deep
17:06So I would like to get under the
17:07I'd like to get under my hood
17:08You wouldn't want to get under mine
17:10Unless I've had a shower
17:11Because it stinks of quavers
17:12And guilt
17:13My situation is difficult
17:16But this is going to be an education for me
17:19Very honest
17:20That was intense
17:21Now is there any actual food coming at this dinner party?
17:24Or is it just truth tapas?
17:25Lucinda
17:26You got married to a man that you've never seen before
17:29How was that?
17:30A wild experience
17:31And so much fun
17:33Yeah
17:33I'd love to find that person that I can sort of do the next incarnation with
17:39I think
17:40You know
17:40Yeah
17:41Sometimes I get a bit doubtful
17:43Or a bit like
17:45Oh God
17:45You know
17:46Who would take this journey on?
17:48Yes
17:48Well you know at least in a year in the right place
17:50Yeah
17:51Because we are taking that journey on
17:52Yeah
17:52Yes
17:53I'm excited
17:54Bring it on
17:55Brilliant
17:56Now can we have some food?
17:57Ah finally
17:58Have a word with the staff Tom
18:00Yes
18:00You should do grace
18:01You should say grace or something
18:02Thank you love
18:05Well bon appetit
18:07Bon
18:07Bon?
18:08Leave it out Anna
18:08Even I know it's bon
18:10Give your head a wobble
18:17So how long have you been married for?
18:19I've been married now for three years
18:21I've been together with my husband for six years
18:23Oh nice
18:24And I also have a boyfriend here
18:26Oh nice
18:26For the last seven months
18:27I'm Polly
18:28No you're not you're Dr T
18:29Excuse me you've got a boyfriend here
18:31Yeah
18:31Yeah
18:32I'm in an ethical non-monogamous relationship
18:34So I'm Polly
18:36Oh she means polyamorous
18:38God that is so Dr T
18:39A husband and a lover
18:41So greedy
18:41Double dick
18:43My husband dates other people as well
18:45Legend
18:45You have to work really hard on that
18:47Otherwise it's very difficult
18:48People think it's like
18:49They get past the sort of
18:50Yeah
18:51The music side of it
18:52Then it's very much work
18:53Communication
18:54But it's as hard as monogamy
18:56Yeah 100%
18:57You know what I'm curious on that note
18:58Is who around the table would be open to have an ethical non-monogamous relationship
19:05And Colleen I'd love to start with you
19:10You know because you know my wife and I were looking for her
19:13No
19:16Can I just say I was going to say oh no I couldn't deal with that but now
19:22It depends on with who
19:23Wow
19:24I think I would be open to it at this point in my life
19:27You'd be open to it
19:27Respect
19:27Cool I'll see what Lou says and get back to you
19:29Is that something that you've done before?
19:32I have explored it before yes
19:35Yeah
19:35With my last partner who was a female
19:37Okay
19:38I gave it a go but actually realised within that that I'm quite hetero
19:41But I gave it a red hot shot
19:43I am all about the exploration map the way for me Dr T
19:48I am here to look for a partner but I don't mind having a bit of fun in the water
19:54park en route
19:55If you know what I mean splish splash
19:57From my experience if you start heavy petting in the water park they'll route you to the exit
20:01But you know exploration is beautiful because it allows you to get clarity for yourself
20:07That's it
20:08You know if you've never explored how would you actually know?
20:11Yep
20:11Well David when you were here last time
20:15Yeah
20:15I wasn't here
20:16You wasn't
20:17Uh uh uh uh
20:19So please please tell us like why are you back at the agency?
20:22Oh god
20:23Um
20:24I think last time I was very emotionally unintelligent
20:31Whereas this time my head space is I actually don't give a shit about being judged
20:41about my vulnerabilities
20:43Is she playing invisible castanets?
20:46Oh so I'm ready for someone to put a bloody ring on her
20:48Oh
20:50Ha!
20:51Knew it
20:51I believe that that is out there and that's what I want
20:54But what does that true love look like for you physically?
20:57Can you like describe him?
20:59Oh what it looks like?
21:00Oh for sure
21:00So tall
21:01This is probably a trigger for Anna and Paul
21:03It is actually
21:04Taller
21:06Older
21:06Um like
21:07Be fit
21:08Yeah be fit
21:09Like a be fit
21:10Like a be fit old at all
21:12So you're describing Paul Brunson?
21:14Yeah for sure
21:15I've been trying for six years but
21:18Yeah
21:18My turn now
21:20My turn now
21:21My turn now
21:21But you just went straight for Colleen which is rude
21:26Alright well you're ready for love you're ready for marriage
21:30Gabby
21:31Mmm
21:31What about you?
21:33I don't know I don't actually know what I'm doing wrong
21:37It's because I like people and they're probably wrong for me
21:41And usually they're younger
21:42I feel like sometimes I might compromise on things
21:45Just because I'm so attracted to them
21:48And then they end up just being awful for me
21:52However I've dated people
21:54And that's been missing and I'm just not fulfilled at all
21:57Because I want to be with somebody that makes me feel alive
22:02And also I need to be put in my feminine energy as well
22:05Because I feel like
22:06I'm sorry did you say you need to be put
22:08Yeah
22:09In your feminine energy
22:10Yeah
22:10So you need someone else to put you in your feminine energy
22:13Okay
22:14Is that wrong?
22:15Very
22:16Yeah
22:16Okay so
22:17I mean I want somebody to make me feel safe and secure
22:24Because I feel like that is my role within my family
22:27So having somebody that makes me cry
22:30Makes me feel like that
22:33Yes
22:33And that's all I want to say
22:34You deserve that
22:36Yes
22:36Yes
22:36You know what's wild is
22:38I've never felt like we've started an agency with this level of intimacy
22:43Aw
22:44Yes
22:45Can I just say while you say that
22:47That this is the first show I've ever thought I really want to do that show
22:53Wow
22:54I've never done that about another show ever
22:56Ha!
22:57In your face loose women ladies
22:59I think because I've reached a part in my life where I genuinely would like to meet someone
23:05I have met people, I have been on the dating apps
23:08I think what I'm looking for is really hard to find for me
23:12What do you want?
23:13I think because I'm looking for Mr everyday normal
23:16Have you considered having breakfast in Wetherspoons?
23:19I live a very normal life, I very rarely go to big celebrity things
23:22You know I've got a little farm with all my animals and that's where I'm at my happiest
23:27And so I think trying to meet someone that can just accept that
23:30And accept me as me and not my celebrity status or
23:36Or be intimidated by it at the same time
23:38And that's where I'm finding it hard
23:40Because I've met a lot of guys and we've had a connection
23:42And they've been very honest and go
23:44I just don't think I can live in your world
23:46And I'm like I don't know what you think my world is
23:50Sometimes I'd just like someone at home to put their arms around me when I get in and go
23:53Do you know what? It's all gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay
23:56This year was the first time that I've ever had to put Christmas decorations upon my own
24:02I remember being in the house thinking
24:04Oh shit, I'm lonely
24:08Oh, Colleen, that's so sad
24:10Don't worry, you're in the right place, we'll sort you out
24:13So, no pressure, but you are my last chance to lose
24:18You either do something or I die alone
24:21We can't have that happen, we can't have that happen
24:23Darling's all, your candour has been utterly delicious
24:28And I want to reward you with a delicious dessert
24:33Oh! Have you baked us a cake?
24:35Well, possibly
24:38Dessert is served
24:41Oh shit, what's this?
24:44Wait, that's not a tiramisu
24:46Someone's coming! Is this your twist, Paul?
24:49Yes
24:50Oh God, who is it? What's going on?
25:03Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating
25:05Where Tom is about to serve our new celebs with some delicious dessert
25:09I hope he's not just been to the kitchen to add extra cream
25:14Dessert is served
25:18I'm actually shaking
25:19Yeah, I get it like that with sticky toffee pudding
25:21Custard, cream and sauce
25:23In the form of Colleen's beloved sister, Maureen
25:28Woohoo!
25:30Woohoo!
25:31Woohoo!
25:31Woohoo!
25:33Woohoo!
25:34David's best friend, Ellie
25:36No way!
25:37Oh my God!
25:39Jesus, I couldn't hear you all way up there!
25:42Hi everyone!
25:44Steady over here
25:45Stephen's childhood friend, Lewis
25:49Oh my goodness
25:49Oh ho ho ho!
25:52Yay!
25:52Well, come on, Lewis
25:53Seen Lewis walking, my immediate reaction
25:57Oh God, what's he gonna say?
26:00Gabby's dear friend, Lyle
26:03Welcome, Lyle
26:04We should go pear-shaped
26:06He knows too much
26:08Lucinda's cousin, Tom
26:11That's me, Lulu
26:13And James's mum, Susie
26:17The woman
26:19Oh, she's a diva
26:20She is!
26:21I'm so glad you all turned up
26:25Enjoy your desserts, everybody
26:27And I will see you at the agency
26:31Sorry, can I check, are there any actual desserts coming?
26:35Friends and family can often see where the celebrities' love lives are going wrong
26:40Often things that the celebrities themselves just cannot see
26:43So these are very much the best people to help us understand our new clients
26:48We all love mums, don't we?
26:51Yeah!
26:52So we wanna hear from Susie
26:55Oh my God!
26:56Mum is an absolute loose cannon at the best of times
26:59I am dreading what's gonna come out of her mouth
27:02As long as she does not upset my ex
27:05James is not what he appears to be
27:09He actually underneath is extremely sensitive
27:14I'm not sure where he's gone wrong
27:16Because prior to his marriage
27:20I met lots of lovely girlfriends
27:24Each of them just loved me, that's a bonus
27:28I never saw James Squirm like that playing rugby
27:31I do have quite a strong opinion why I think it went wrong
27:37You can't have two stars
27:42Because you have them competing for the floor space all the time
27:46That explains why no-one's seen Richard and Judy in the same room for 30 years
27:50In the past he's been extremely popular
27:53I mean, I've seen at rugby matches where elderly ladies have gotten very close to him
28:00What are your hopes for James at the end of this process?
28:04He needs someone that can see
28:06We'll tell him to stop with the elderly then
28:08The softness of him
28:10Oh right, I thought we meant eyes
28:13Coupled with quite a brilliant intellect
28:16Because he's written seven books
28:19Wow, quite the offer
28:21And I think three of them were on the Times best-selling list
28:25Two of them
28:26Who's counting?
28:26I am
28:28I've got copies for everyone
28:30Has he got pictures?
28:31Because if not, it'll be hard pass for David
28:33Good
28:34Okay, up next
28:35Stephen, you seem so keen
28:37When you walked in, I was overjoyed
28:39I mean look, I'm not here to throw you under the bus or nothing though
28:42But like, Stephen is a nightmare
28:44Oh wow
28:46Wow
28:46He's not just thrown him under the bus, he's reversed it back over him
28:50You've been unlucky in love and yeah, I think you've got your work cut out
28:54And then driven over him again
28:56So you think about Stephen on a date
28:58I can't, I don't even want to imagine Stephen on a date, it's ghastly
29:03Don't be fooled by the tattoos and the lyrics
29:05I think it's a little bit, a bit clumsy, a bit clunky, but quite cute
29:10Give us an example of that
29:11Oh not the C word
29:12Louis, tearing me a new one
29:14Thank you, Louis
29:15Cheers mate, appreciate it
29:16So, let's go to Lucinda here
29:18Okay, with Tommy
29:20Uh, so I'm curious
29:22What do you believe Lucinda needs in her life?
29:26A man
29:27A man-man
29:29Lulu is looking for love, genuine love
29:33And has been for a long time
29:36Lucy is a big character, which is wonderful
29:39And we don't want someone to shrink Lucy's personality, but match it
29:44Lulu has said that she has explored with a woman before
29:51Naughty
29:54That's what lockdown does to you
29:57David Potts
29:58Ellie
29:59He falls in love quite easy, does David
30:01Like, at least once a week I'll be like
30:03You know that
30:04I fall in love
30:05I'm a sucker for love
30:07Do you know what I mean?
30:08I'm a sucker for love, guys
30:09He's got his type
30:11He's like, well, I want him to be this and that
30:12If he's a bit shorter
30:14And I know what you're thinking
30:15Give him a chance
30:17He could be the love of your life
30:18Ellie
30:19If he's not even able to get on the rides at a theme park
30:23He isn't going to be the love of my life
30:25Next up
30:26We have
30:28Gabby and Lyle
30:29You know, she has a lot to offer
30:31And you know, anyone who knows and knows
30:33She's got a lot of layers there
30:35But we don't necessarily see it enough
30:36Because she's obviously terrified of
30:39What
30:39Judgment
30:40The judgements
30:41About it, Lyle
30:42Fair play
30:43Long on air
30:44Short on chat
30:45We would love to know, Maureen, a little bit more about Colleen
30:48Colleen has just got so much to give
30:52The problem is that when she meets someone
30:54She falls in love so easily
30:57And gives so much immediately
31:01Sometimes comes back to bite her on the ass a little bit
31:04I kind of like that
31:08Do you find sexual connection important?
31:11Yes
31:12Is that something that you're looking for as well?
31:14Well, I didn't think I was
31:16And I'd heard all this thing about menopause
31:18How old women lose their sexual libido
31:21And everything goes like the Sahara Desert
31:23And it's gone the complete opposite for me
31:26I don't know what's happened
31:29Susie
31:32Oh God
31:33Susie, for James' sake
31:35Will everyone say nothing?
31:37Can I just say I'm loving James' face with his mother
31:40Sitting next time in this conversation?
31:43Torture
31:44This is torture
31:47So now, celebs, your night is not over
31:50But friends and family, your night is
31:55Right, so now the celebs in a circle have stitched them up
31:58They're off to drink the free bar dry
32:02While the experts have yet another surprise in store
32:05We have some envelopes
32:08Each one is personalised to you
32:10Yeah, that's generally how envelopes work, Doctor T
32:13Otherwise, it's a free-for-all
32:14These are your first dates
32:16Woo!
32:17Yes!
32:20Oh my God
32:21This is getting real
32:22I am just ready to lean in and go for it
32:25How exciting, let's go
32:26David, if you would like to open your envelope, please
32:29And reveal to us all what is inside
32:34Oh my God
32:36Is it the bill?
32:38He has jacked me!
32:40Get in!
32:41David, I moved from Melbourne to London three months ago
32:47I'm in for a tree
32:48Yeah, remember, don't fall in love
32:49Oh my God, I need to chill out, but what the fuck?
32:53Oh my God, this is love
32:56Gabby, would you like to reveal who is in your envelope?
32:58Oh my God, I'm so nervous
33:04I can't tell from her expression
33:08Johnny, 34
33:09Oh
33:10It's probably the oldest I've ever got
33:12Wow
33:13I spend my days handling carp
33:15Is that fish?
33:16It is
33:17Don't know how I feel about that
33:18Sexy fisherman
33:19Getting my hands wet
33:21And I'm always up for something a bit naughty
33:23This is one catch you won't want to throw back
33:25So, how do we feel about Johnny the fisherman?
33:28That doesn't turn me on
33:29But he likes fish
33:32Can we have another one?
33:34No
33:34Shit
33:35You know what I suspect
33:37Is you looked at the photo
33:38And you weren't interested
33:40So, you started looking for negatives
33:42I'm not being funny
33:43But Paul needs to get off my case
33:45I just don't fancy the fishy fella
33:47I'm trusting the princess
33:48Yes
33:49Yes
33:50Yeah, that's cool
33:51Lucinda has been matched with Silver Fox Neil
33:54I'm happy to lean into that
33:56Splish splash
33:57Come on, Stephen
33:58And Stephen has been paired with sexy DJ Viv
34:01Does it sort of feel like it's got a bit real now?
34:04Shit's real
34:05Shit just got real
34:07James
34:08Kitten, 30
34:09I'm loud
34:09I'm high energy
34:10If you can handle me
34:11You'll definitely remember the night
34:13Even if parts of it are a blur
34:15She has a lot to say
34:16And she has great sexual energy
34:19Meow
34:19You're excited
34:20Are you a bit overwhelmed?
34:21I don't really know
34:22You know what I mean?
34:22I'm sort of not really sure what my reaction is
34:24Because I've never had that
34:25I've never been on a blind date
34:26So yeah, I'm very excited to see what she's like
34:29Colleen
34:31Neil P, 60
34:32I've blown up bridges
34:34And raised sons
34:36And if there's chemistry
34:37Let's just say
34:39I still know how to keep things running smoothly
34:41Longer than lights out
34:44Neil
34:47Neil
34:48Neil looks nice
34:49But I really wanted that reaction that David's just had
34:53You are all going on these dates within the next 48 hours
34:58Except actually for two of you
35:02Who will be going on those dates
35:07Immediately
35:08Well, splash my splish
35:10What?
35:11No, you're joking
35:12Those two celebrities are
35:14Sink washes for everyone
35:15Get those slits and dicks clean
35:20Yourself, Colleen?
35:22And James
35:24No, you're joking
35:25You're going on a date right now
35:27I'm in
35:27Let's do it
35:28Christ, I thought I was going out to bed
35:31Well, Neil might
35:34Talk about speed dating
35:35What happened to breaking me in gently?
35:38Bye
35:38Bye
35:39Bye everyone
35:40I'm so excited, I can't wait to hear all about it
35:42Hold on a minute
35:43Why do Colleen and James get to meet theirs now?
35:47Why do I have to wait to meet the gorgeous Mark from Melbourne?
35:50These agents are cock blockers
35:56So before Colleen and James can be shoved into the back of a black cab
36:00And score their dinner party out of ten
36:01They're whisked off to the other side of London
36:03For their first date
36:04With these lucky, loveless lovelies
36:07I don't think I've even met a celebrity before in my life
36:10So this is going to be a totally new experience for me
36:14Calm down Neil
36:15You're having a drink with Colleen Nolan
36:16You're not going to the NTAs
36:19I'm feeling so excited about my date
36:21I've never heard of James
36:23But they showed me a photo of him
36:25And he was topless
36:26He had abs for days
36:28You could great cheese on that
36:29And I absolutely love cheese
36:31So I'm ready
36:32Well, Derry Lee, dunk my arse
36:34She's ready people
36:35Take me to Cathedral City
36:44Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating
36:46Where our new bunch of pampered personalities
36:48Have been suitably wined and dined
36:50And then, because it's us
36:52Forced to spill the tea on their pitiful private lives
36:55And if that wasn't bad enough
36:57We've slung these two out for their very first date
37:00With James off to meet 30 year old admin assistant kitten
37:04Meow
37:05And for Colleen is retired arm instructor Neil
37:08Who's no doubt going commando
37:10Dick on trouser
37:12Hello
37:13Hello
37:13Hello
37:13Yes
37:14Hello
37:15Hi
37:15Lovely to meet you
37:17I took the liberty of getting champagne to start with
37:20Oh, fuck you
37:21Cheers
37:21Cheers
37:22What's this dating like at 60?
37:24I don't know
37:25I don't know
37:26What do you do?
37:27Exactly
37:29Hello, how are you doing?
37:30Hey
37:30Nice to meet you
37:30Nice to meet you
37:31Nice to meet you
37:33How are you?
37:34That's not awkward
37:35I love the tattoos
37:36Thank you, you too
37:38I saw online that you have a leg injury
37:40Yeah, I do
37:40I'm limping everywhere
37:41I was happy about that though
37:43Because she tried you in a back door now
37:45Sorry, what?
37:47Yeah, I know
37:48I wouldn't do that anyway
37:49I'm too much for gentlemen
37:50That's what they all say
37:51Where do you live?
37:52Where are you from originally?
37:53The place that I'm from is really big for rugby though
37:55Are you a rugby fan yourself?
37:57I've never watched rugby
37:58Okay
37:58And they were like, do you know who he is?
37:59And I was like, I'm not gonna lie, no
38:01But they showed me a photo of you topless
38:03And obviously I saw the abs and I was like
38:05Well, I want to know him
38:07Well, yeah
38:07I mean, I'm not sure I'm really in the ab phase at the moment
38:09I look like surgery
38:10I haven't trained a lot
38:11Well, thank you
38:12I appreciate it
38:12I mean, you look great too
38:16I embrace my personality
38:17Instead of pretending to be someone I'm not
38:19So I've always had people call me crazy and stuff
38:22Oh, really?
38:22But it's who I am
38:23So I embrace it
38:24And now my kind of like brandiness
38:26I'm like, yeah
38:26I'm the crazy tattooed woman
38:29I have a question for you
38:31Yeah, you can ask whatever you want
38:31So usually I date non-celebrities
38:33Or like 99.99% of the population
38:37So what do you think you can bring to the table as a rugby player that a normal man can't?
38:42Kitten's definitely lovely
38:43But this is beginning to feel like a bit of an interview, I think
38:46What I'm bringing to the party at the moment is a body that doesn't work particularly well
38:50And I limp everywhere
38:51And a limp
38:51I limp, yeah
38:52If you're into guys with limps then I'm all over it
38:55I feel like the main thing for me is personality
38:57Yeah
38:57And emotional intelligence
38:59Because I can't deal with these younger men who don't know how to use a washing machine anymore
39:03Actually, I'll be honest with you, I look very manly
39:06But if you want me to like install your bathroom or like rewire a plug
39:11I'm a bit used to that kind of stuff
39:13But he will drink piss from a rugby boot
39:15So swings and roundabouts
39:18Hopefully Colleen's ex-army guy Neil has more useful life skills
39:21I did 15 years in the army, I was in the Royal Engineers
39:23And I used to teach them missions
39:25So I've never actually blown up a bridge but I taught people how to do it
39:29I guess not, but you never know when that could come in handy
39:31You know this is okay actually, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be
39:34And Neil's really good company
39:37Do you miss the army?
39:38I miss certain aspects of it
39:40He never killed anyone
39:41Colleen, you can't ask him that
39:43It's like him asking you about auto-tune
39:45Seriously though Neil, who was on the bridge?
39:48Oh shit, has he killed someone?
39:52Actually there's a bit of story there
39:55Oh God this is awkward
39:57My bum all sucking and pulsing like a thirsty bath plug
40:04You know you see all these guys on Remembrance Day
40:06With a whole chest of medals
40:08Oh yeah
40:08Yeah, go on
40:10I did 15 years
40:11What?
40:12Has he been banged up?
40:13But I haven't got one
40:17God damn medal
40:18Oh thank God for that
40:19I thought he killed loads of pensions on a bridge
40:21He's just moaning about medals
40:23Why are you crap?
40:24I didn't
40:26I'm going to give you a medal unless you deserve it
40:29No, but you've got to be sent
40:30I was never sent anywhere
40:31And did you want to go?
40:32If you're in a unit that goes
40:34You kind of want to be part of the team
40:36But did your unit go?
40:38Yes, and the unit went
40:39But I'd already left to go somewhere else
40:40Idiot
40:42No, well you know
40:43It was when I got sent back to Sandlist as an instructor
40:45And they were like get back out there and get us a medal
40:47You might just have to settle for a poppy
40:50Are you good driving?
40:51I don't drive
40:52I was in driving lessons for two years
40:54Right
40:54And I just couldn't do it
40:55They said that the only person worse than me didn't speak English
40:58What couldn't you do?
41:00Everything
41:01You can't not do everything
41:03I was in driving lessons for two years
41:05And like over a hundred hours of lessons
41:09Kitten's definitely got some energy about her
41:11Which I'm enjoying
41:11She has described herself as a bit crazy
41:14And I'm beginning to see some of those traits come through
41:16Do you have a non-negotiable?
41:18Non-negotiable would be someone who doesn't have drive
41:20Someone who doesn't work
41:21I think I need people to secure as well
41:24Which is challenging
41:25Because everyone's got things that they
41:27Blind spots that they have
41:28And things that they don't want
41:29Yeah
41:30It's when people just offload it all onto you
41:32And then you're like
41:33Ugh
41:34So what's your usual type?
41:36Because I've had a weird thing
41:38Yes
41:38That my entire life people have always told me
41:41That they can imagine me with a rugby player
41:42Oh really?
41:44It's getting a bit intense
41:45Probably need a bit of time out at the moment
41:47Can you excuse me?
41:48I'm just going to go to the bathroom
41:49Is that right?
41:50Yeah that's fine
41:50And when I say go to the bathroom
41:51I limp to the bathroom
41:53Sorry mate
41:54Sorry to butt in
41:55Oh you
41:55God James come on
41:57How are you?
41:57Can I steal your...
41:58Of course
41:59How can I argue?
42:00You've let me go so easily
42:02Oh sorry
42:02You've dropped the ball there
42:04What can I do?
42:05Story of his life
42:08So
42:09What do you think?
42:10So far so good yeah
42:11Yeah?
42:12Good
42:13How's it going?
42:14It's going really well
42:15Really?
42:16It's really nice yeah
42:17Has he made you laugh yet?
42:18I mean not belly laugh yet
42:19But yeah
42:20Oh just picky picky right
42:21He seems lovely
42:22He's very polite
42:23He's very charming
42:24And it's made me realise
42:25That I am willing
42:28To
42:28Give it a go
42:30Go on girl
42:31That's the spirit
42:32You've got to be in it to win it
42:33Moving on to you
42:34Do you know what?
42:35She's really really nice
42:37I think with very different people
42:39Would you see her again?
42:40My mentality is
42:42Listen I've been single for two and a half years
42:44I've done dates like that
42:45I don't feel like you know
42:48See someone
42:48Yeah this waffle sounds like a definite no to me
42:55What star sign are you?
42:57Aquarius
42:59Oh are you?
43:00Oh what does that mean?
43:02Oh that's nice
43:03Are you really?
43:04I'm Pisces
43:05I know nothing about this
43:08Pisces are dreamers
43:10Just everything's a movie
43:11And romantic
43:12And soft
43:13Is that what you want?
43:15Right
43:15Yeah
43:16I have a feeling I know what James wants
43:18Should we go?
43:19Yeah
43:20Yep an early night
43:21Hope you want me to go
43:22Go for it
43:23Go for it
43:24Don't expect it back then
43:25Should we get the bill?
43:26Yes
43:26Can we get the bill please?
43:28Well thank you so much for a lovely date
43:30It was lovely to meet you
43:31It was really nice
43:32Hopefully see you again
43:33Yeah see you soon bye
43:34I really enjoyed the date actually
43:36And I feel like he had really good chat
43:38And we bounced off each other
43:40Slightly unresolved
43:41I'm not sure if he wants to see me again
43:43I mean does he?
43:44He didn't actually say
43:45He did to Killeen
43:46Look as dates go
43:48I think I showed my personality
43:50She was very complimentary
43:52Which obviously is a good thing
43:54But for me there wasn't quite that spark
43:57In terms of wanting to go further with her
44:05Thank you for that
44:06I really appreciate it
44:07It's been really lovely tonight
44:10Yeah
44:11Because I haven't felt once
44:13Awkward
44:14Awkward
44:14At all
44:15Mm
44:16No it's been really nice
44:17You might want to tell your face that
44:19No
44:20So erm
44:21Cheers
44:22I would really like to see you again
44:25Oh God
44:26What am I going to say
44:28He's so nice
44:29But I'm just
44:30I'm just not sure if there's a spark
44:33I hope you feel the same
44:38That'd be lovely
44:39Mmm
44:39Say it like you mean it Killeen
44:41Had a fabulous time
44:43I thought we were a really good match
44:44Erm
44:45It was a really good exploratory first date
44:48Alright Neil
44:49It was just a drink
44:50Not a reconnaissance mission in Basra
44:52Ooh
44:53God it's a bit lasty isn't it
44:55Yeah lovely to see you
44:56Lovely to see you
44:56To meet you
44:57See you again soon
44:59Yeah definitely
44:59See you later bye
45:00Bye
45:00He was such a nice guy
45:02And we do seem to match on what we want in a relationship
45:05Which is good
45:06But it didn't make me laugh
45:08And that's high up on my list
45:10You know I do want to meet someone
45:11But you know what it's so hard
45:13It can't be everyone else
45:14Some of it's got to be me
45:16I'm obviously doing something wrong or expecting too much
45:20Why is it so complicated now
45:22Don't worry Killeen
45:23We'll find you someone
45:26Still to come
45:27The agency throws open its doors
45:30Entree
45:31And I'm not talking about Tom's back ones
45:33Hello
45:35What's there on the phone?
45:36It's kind of embarrassing
45:37Hashtag orcs
45:40The celebs go dating
45:42There was literally a dog doing a wee up a tree behind you sorry
45:44Okay
45:46That'd throw me to be fair
45:48And the shit chat's back
45:49God suck a fart out of your ass
45:51Literally
45:52Things heat up at the first mixer
45:54You are outrageous I love her
45:56Your finger is naughty
45:57I was sandwiched between two men
45:59I was alright I was alright
46:00We're not you sorry
46:01Dude's got no game
46:02Understatement
46:03What do I do?
46:04Oh show me bro
46:05After that whole exchange
46:07It came across as very rude
46:10And the temperature keeps rising
46:12As the celebs land in Tenerife
46:15You're about to get torn left, right and centre
46:19Hopefully I will on my date
46:20Oh Killeen
46:21Once I had sex up a tree
46:24Up a tree?
46:25Splinter my sphincter
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