- 11 hours ago
Short Film Royally Screwed
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:11Oh my god, there are so many hot...
00:00:14Say it as though I'm not nearly tipsy enough.
00:00:16I take it, I'm pretty beat.
00:00:17I think I'm gonna head on.
00:00:18No, sis.
00:00:19Don't be a Scrooge.
00:00:20Some of us have to work tomorrow.
00:00:22I am working my ass off to make sure you have a fun time tonight.
00:00:27What is the point of living in the sexiest city in the world
00:00:29if we're not gonna take full advantage?
00:00:31I take advantage.
00:00:32Midnight screenings of Harry Potter does not count.
00:00:35What if you meet your soulmate tonight?
00:00:37I promise you, my soulmate is not out at 2am dressed up as Santa Claus.
00:00:46Oh my god, he is so hot!
00:00:49He's totally checking you out!
00:00:50Probably because I look ridiculous.
00:00:52Every Santa needs a reindeer to ride,
00:00:54and I am not stopping until I get you laid,
00:00:56so come on, let's go.
00:01:11Oh my god.
00:01:12Santa Hottie is full on staring at you.
00:01:19He probably just thinks I'm someone else.
00:01:22Yeah, his soulmate.
00:01:23You know I don't believe in soulmates.
00:01:25Okay.
00:01:26I know you haven't dated since-
00:01:28Don't see his name.
00:01:29Since he who shall not be named.
00:01:31But Mia, college was a lifetime ago,
00:01:34and I know he broke your heart,
00:01:35so I say this with love.
00:01:37You need to get the hell over it.
00:01:39I am over it!
00:01:40I'm just too busy to date right now.
00:01:42Work is crazy.
00:01:44It's the busy season at the library.
00:01:45You know you can't date a buck, right?
00:01:47A girl can dream.
00:01:49Okay.
00:01:50Forget soulmate.
00:01:51You just need to have fun and get laid.
00:01:54I bet Santa's great in bed.
00:01:56What?
00:01:56Hi, ladies.
00:01:58Great outfits.
00:02:00You knew Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
00:02:02could be so sexy.
00:02:03Oh, sexy.
00:02:05I look like I belong to the zoo.
00:02:07Well, I'm a fan.
00:02:09This is my sister, Mia.
00:02:10She's totally single.
00:02:12Well, nice to meet you, Mia.
00:02:13I'm Declan.
00:02:15Isn't that the name of the prince?
00:02:17I hear they're in town on some diplomacy tour.
00:02:20You know, French people stuff.
00:02:21Another round.
00:02:22Yeah.
00:02:24Cheers.
00:02:27Cheers.
00:02:41Cheers.
00:02:42Cheers.
00:02:47Cheers.
00:02:49Cheers.
00:02:52Cheers.
00:02:53Cheers.
00:02:55Cheers.
00:02:56Cheers.
00:02:57Cheers.
00:03:08so do you come here often you've got to be kidding me what just conversation exotic accent a couple
00:03:15free drinks normally work for you you tell me absolutely not yeah right i bet you're secretly
00:03:23planning our wedding in your head right now more like our divorce then i bet a lawyer
00:03:29so judging by your accent i'm assuming you're not from here no just just visiting what are you doing
00:03:36in town just various things sounds fascinating work stuff's boring it's more interesting things
00:03:45to talk about such as your beautiful brown eyes you're gonna have to do way better than that
00:03:51am i wow cocky i just know what i want
00:04:08just go for it mia
00:04:12can't stop when your heart is on the line can't stop no can't stop all the night
00:04:22can't stop when your heart is on the line
00:04:26it's automatic waking up beside you like it's a habit
00:04:36don't know what happened oh yeah
00:04:39you do this every time it's just so classic
00:04:44still don't know why we let go i'm trying to find a little closure i guess we just need some
00:04:51time
00:04:51and if you want to come on over well baby that's all right but you hate me if i put
00:04:58you closer if only for a night
00:05:01i'm trying baby i just can't forget you can't stop no can't stop overnight
00:05:12can't stop when your heart is on the line
00:05:17can't stop no can't stop overnight
00:05:22you're coming home with me like hell i am come on you want me bad
00:05:29what an arrogant asshole jared let me know when you're down calling me names so i can call my car
00:05:40fine let's go i love america
00:06:11oh before we go any further i need to tell you something
00:06:14don't tell me you're married i can't do that again
00:06:17no i just want you to know i'm not looking for anything serious
00:06:21we can have fun right now but afterwards i don't want to date you or even know you
00:06:25it's a one-time thing to help me get back out there
00:06:28oh mia what might be my dream woman
00:06:32great so let's agree to have mind-following sex and then never speak again
00:06:35do
00:06:51you hit me with the h-e-y i'ma hit you with the boy pie you told me that i'm
00:06:58too closed off but
00:06:59you know that i'm not involved with play boys i don't want to be your play toy
00:07:05don't you know that i'm so much more than a centerfold
00:07:12you hit me with the what you're doing i'ma hit you with the nothing much as if it's any of
00:07:19your business
00:07:20what i'm even doing though you told me that you want to come through play toy
00:07:26i can't let you flip through my pages and hold me close like those play boys i don't want to
00:07:35be your play toy
00:07:37don't you know that i'm so much more than a centerfold
00:08:22where is it
00:08:23well good morning to you too
00:08:26I can't find my bra, and I'm late for work.
00:08:30Where do you work?
00:08:31The library.
00:08:32So what are you so stressed about? Is there a book emergency?
00:08:36Can you just shut up and help me find it?
00:08:38Can't do anything before 9am.
00:08:41Wow, thanks so much for your help. I'm just gonna go.
00:08:43You going to get a coffee? I'd love one.
00:08:46Two creams, one sugar. Thanks, doll.
00:08:50Seriously?
00:08:51Fine, I'll order in. Breakfast?
00:08:53You Americans love everything deep-fried, right?
00:08:57What are you doing?
00:08:58Being a gentleman.
00:09:00We had an agreement, remember?
00:09:07Sorry, I was a tat hammered last night.
00:09:09Ah.
00:09:09How much weight are you?
00:09:11Oh my god, it's not that kind of agreement!
00:09:13My apologies.
00:09:19Wow.
00:09:20I had no idea you were such a slut.
00:09:24Didn't realize you were so uptight.
00:09:28Look.
00:09:30I just want to find my bra, go to work, and never ever speak to you again.
00:09:34Yes, of course.
00:09:36Let's find that bra and get you out of my life forever.
00:09:41Who is that?
00:09:43It's probably my stepmom.
00:09:44Oh my god, you live with your parents?
00:09:48You really don't know who I am.
00:09:51Since when was Santa so cocky?
00:09:53Since when was Rudolph such a bitch?
00:09:55Wow.
00:10:00Where are you going?
00:10:01I would rather go bra-less than spend another suck-it with you.
00:10:06Finally, we agree on something.
00:10:26Good morning, Your Royal Highness.
00:10:28Good morning, Your Royal Highness.
00:10:35Good morning, Your Royal Highness.
00:10:44Good morning.
00:10:45It was until I had to deal with your latest shenanigans.
00:10:48I can't imagine what you mean.
00:10:50I was a good boy.
00:10:51In bed by nine.
00:10:53Really?
00:10:54With yet another girl?
00:10:55Of course not.
00:10:57Can you please pass me the bar?
00:10:58The maid found this when making up your room this morning.
00:11:04Well, that's my bra.
00:11:06I've been looking for it everywhere.
00:11:07It's really my colour, don't you think?
00:11:09Now you see here, we didn't make this diplomacy trip ahead of your coronation
00:11:15so you could bed a different American every night.
00:11:18That is no way for the future king to behave.
00:11:21My apologies, Your Majesty.
00:11:24I'll be on my best behaviour, starting now.
00:11:27Good.
00:11:27Because this trip isn't just about fostering goodwill between our nations.
00:11:32We're here on a mission.
00:11:34What are we doing?
00:11:35I'm afraid the palace is in dire need of some funds.
00:11:38We're broke.
00:11:40Father left me a generous inheritance when he passed.
00:11:43For you personally, yes.
00:11:45But it takes a small fortune to run the palace every day.
00:11:48So what are we going to do?
00:11:51Not to worry, I have a plan, as always.
00:11:53It seems that we are to be guests of honour at the Governor's Winter Masquerade Ball tonight.
00:11:59Unfortunately, the Governor is travelling on business, but his daughter Courtney will be there and she has his ear.
00:12:05Whatever she wants, he agrees to. I plan to tactfully ask her for a loan.
00:12:11Brilliant. Well, how can I help?
00:12:14By not further embarrassing the Crown.
00:12:18The Governor is very conservative. He has very traditional values.
00:12:24If he hears about your wild antics running around with different women, there is no way he'll agree to the
00:12:30loan.
00:12:31Of course. I'll do my very best.
00:12:35You'd better. Or there won't be a crown for you to inherit.
00:13:04Get rid of this immediately.
00:13:15We've got a press conference at the plaza, a luncheon with the American Diplomats Association,
00:13:19a fundraiser for Doctors Without Borders, a private tour of the Guggenheim, front row at the Gucci Show,
00:13:26and invitations to drinks with three different Kardashians.
00:13:31Also, your fan mail has just arrived.
00:13:38This is just from today.
00:13:45Shall I bring the car around?
00:13:47No, I think I'll walk.
00:13:49Walk? Are you feeling alright?
00:13:52Yes. I've never felt better.
00:13:55Hey, you fetch me that bra.
00:13:58Return it to its rightful owner.
00:13:59Sir, I could handle this myself.
00:14:02That sort of errand is a little beneath you.
00:14:05Trust me, I know. This is the last thing I want to do.
00:14:09But I'm afraid I'm not to handle this myself.
00:14:11It's a sensitive matter. It must be handled discreetly.
00:14:15Certainly, sir. I'll go fetch it for you.
00:14:18Perfect. Now tell me, Henry.
00:14:21Where does one find a...
00:14:24...library?
00:14:40Every single day in the video,
00:14:43...of the label,
00:14:47Is this the following thing?
00:14:53Well, thank you.
00:14:58So I don't do bien.
00:14:58I want to know.
00:14:58I want to know you guys who are here.
00:14:58Hey, everybody.
00:14:59Maybe you're here.
00:14:59It's a very smart thing.
00:15:01Hey, everybody.
00:15:16I want ε citizen and to watch the
00:15:18W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W
00:15:22-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W
00:15:24-W-W-W-W-W-W-W.
00:15:37What?
00:15:37Where is he?
00:15:39Find it!
00:15:39Where'd he go?
00:15:40Back there.
00:15:53What the hell are you doing here?
00:15:55Come with me.
00:15:56There it is!
00:16:00There it is!
00:16:04I hate the paparazzi following you. Who are you?
00:16:07Just calm down.
00:16:09Oh, because telling a woman to calm down is always such a great idea.
00:16:16I think it went this way. Follow me.
00:16:19Hurry, you gotta get a shot.
00:16:35What the hell is wrong with you?
00:16:37It was just my last resort. Sorry.
00:16:39Good, because that didn't mean anything to me.
00:16:43Didn't mean anything to me anymore.
00:16:45You're a child.
00:16:46How the hell do I get out of here?
00:16:48Are you afraid you're gonna learn something?
00:16:51Just show me the way out.
00:16:53Grab me.
00:17:05What were you doing in a library, anyway?
00:17:08Just returning a book.
00:17:11Thanks?
00:17:14Yeah.
00:17:18Well...
00:17:22Goodbye forever, I suppose.
00:17:26Yeah.
00:17:31It's time.
00:18:00Today on Thursday,
00:18:01we're going to another university,
00:18:18How can you be so blatantly disrespectful?
00:18:22Wow, that was fast.
00:18:25Didn't I just warn you about the dangers of drawing negative attention?
00:18:28This makes us look like tabloid trash.
00:18:31The governor will never lend us the money now.
00:18:34Your careless affairs might cost us the entire crowd.
00:18:38I can explain.
00:18:40You've left me no choice but to delay your coronation.
00:18:42Perhaps indefinitely.
00:18:44You can't do that.
00:18:45She's not just a random girl.
00:18:48She's my new girlfriend, Mia.
00:18:50Oh really? And who is this Mia?
00:18:53Well, she's a respectable young woman.
00:18:56She's a librarian.
00:18:58A librarian?
00:19:00Mm-hmm.
00:19:00How common.
00:19:02But that's just her cover.
00:19:05She's actually a princess.
00:19:07Oh really? Of what country?
00:19:12A small island off the coast of Italy.
00:19:15And what is the name of this island?
00:19:20Umbrella.
00:19:21Umbrella.
00:19:22Umbrella.
00:19:23Umbrella.
00:19:24It's a beautiful little hidden gem.
00:19:26Really?
00:19:27Her family's reign goes back centuries.
00:19:30And her parents settled in America after they made a fortune in the diamond trade.
00:19:34Interesting.
00:19:35So that would mean that her family is...
00:19:40Filthy rich.
00:19:43Well, this is fabulous news.
00:19:45Of course, you'll have to make your debut as soon as possible so the press can report
00:19:49that this isn't another one of your random hookups.
00:19:52How about the couple makes their debut with the Governor's Masquerade Ball?
00:19:56Shut up, Henry.
00:19:57We're in the middle of an important conversation.
00:20:00I've got it.
00:20:01You can make your debut at the Governor's Masquerade Ball tonight.
00:20:05Wonderful!
00:20:06Wonderful.
00:20:10No!
00:20:11Can we get a picture?
00:20:12Why didn't you tell me he was a prince, Kit?
00:20:15Sorry, sis.
00:20:16I seriously didn't recognize him with a Santa outfit.
00:20:18But how come you didn't recognize him when he took his clothes off?
00:20:21Wasn't wearing my glasses?
00:20:24Uh huh.
00:20:25When are the paparazzi gonna leave me alone?
00:20:28Mia, this is the prince.
00:20:30This is like a really big deal.
00:20:32Oh, whatever.
00:20:33All this king and queen stuff is so...
00:20:35Ugh.
00:20:36Nonsense.
00:20:37I just...
00:20:38I hate all this attention.
00:20:40It's such a nightmare.
00:20:41A nightmare?
00:20:42Mia, you hooking up with the prince is like the best thing that's ever happened to me.
00:20:45Well, don't get too excited.
00:20:46It was a one-time thing.
00:20:48Two times.
00:20:49But...
00:20:50He's cocky and arrogant and shallow and here?
00:20:54Mia!
00:20:54What?
00:20:55Mia, please let me up!
00:20:57The prince, he's...
00:20:57Mia!
00:20:58He's downstairs.
00:20:58I really need to talk to you!
00:21:01What are you doing here?
00:21:02I need to talk to you.
00:21:05Privately.
00:21:11Right.
00:21:11Okay.
00:21:12I'll just be in my room.
00:21:14Listening to every single word.
00:21:20You didn't think to mention your literal royalty?
00:21:22I'm sorry.
00:21:24You just didn't seem to care who I was and it was just so refreshing.
00:21:28Plus, it's just common knowledge.
00:21:31People just know who I am.
00:21:34Right.
00:21:36Listen, we had our one night of fun but I meant what I said was really a one-time thing.
00:21:43I hate all of this attention.
00:21:45Yeah.
00:21:46I'm just a normal girl.
00:21:48Exactly.
00:21:49You're the type of respectable young woman that would look great on my arm and help people take me more
00:21:54seriously as their future king.
00:21:57I'm not following.
00:21:58Hear me out.
00:21:59If we can just pretend to be a happy couple that is madly in love until my coronation next week,
00:22:04he'll ensure the good graces of the press, my kingdom, and most important, the queen.
00:22:12What's in it for me?
00:22:14Being on my arm isn't enough.
00:22:16No.
00:22:17I'm gonna give you a lot of money, Mia.
00:22:19Excuse me?
00:22:20We're not talking library money.
00:22:22We're talking money that will change your life.
00:22:25Oh, my God.
00:22:27I know.
00:22:27Genius plan, right?
00:22:29You arrogant prick.
00:22:33You think you can throw your money around and buy a girlfriend like a pizza?
00:22:39Well, I can't be bought.
00:22:41So, take your life-changing money and get the hell out of my house.
00:22:50I don't understand.
00:22:52Let me translate it for you.
00:22:54Get out!
00:23:22Why didn't Mia ride with us?
00:23:25She had work, but she will be here.
00:23:27She better be.
00:23:29Everyone is expecting your debut tonight as a couple.
00:23:32Don't fuck this up.
00:23:34What injury might have, your majesty?
00:23:43Courtney, how lovely to meet you.
00:23:46Oh, the pleasure is all mine.
00:23:48My father will be so disappointed to have missed you.
00:23:50Oh, please, give him my regards.
00:23:52Let me introduce you to my son, Declan.
00:24:01Senior Dance.
00:24:04I wonder if we could have a moment in private later to discuss some personal business that
00:24:10you could pass on to your father.
00:24:13Absolutely.
00:25:01I need to find the prince right now.
00:25:03Easy.
00:25:04Governor's Winterball.
00:25:06Okay, stalker.
00:25:07Don't insult my hobbies.
00:25:09I need to go talk to him.
00:25:11Uh, not like that you're not.
00:25:14We gotta get you all ready.
00:25:20So, if we could just get a modest loan, the palace, the whole country, really would be so grateful.
00:25:27I'm sure my father would be happy to oblige.
00:25:30Great, it's settled.
00:25:32Not so fast.
00:25:34I'll encourage my father to give you the loan on one condition.
00:25:38Anything.
00:25:39My father would do anything to ensure my happiness.
00:25:42And what would make me happy is him.
00:25:47That's no problem at all.
00:25:50Good.
00:25:51But until he's mine, you won't see a cent.
00:25:54Now, young lady, no one gives orders around here besides me.
00:25:59My son's current girlfriend is a princess with a large fortune.
00:26:04I can assure you, no one has more money than my father, which you would have full access to.
00:26:10And if the prince and I were to marry, well, I would assure that you would maintain complete control of
00:26:16the throne behind the scenes.
00:26:19Young lady, you have a deal.
00:26:40Young lady, you have a deal.
00:26:56Upped up the line with three mothers, and you have a deal.
00:26:57And it's no problem happening.
00:26:58You have a dealt in trouble.
00:27:02Yes, we're good friends.
00:27:03Let's try and find yourself the last that story means you have a double share of your brother's hour.
00:27:04Purple is...
00:27:04Smile for the camera, Princess Faeerra!
00:27:06Who are you wearing, Princess?uin...
00:27:08Oh,
00:27:08love the mask, Joyce.
00:27:10Why are they calling me princess?
00:27:12We need to talk. Now.
00:27:13You two want to pose together?
00:27:15Real quick, just one more!
00:27:17Who the hell is that?
00:27:18That's his girlfriend, the princess.
00:27:21Don't worry, I'll take care of her.
00:27:23You better.
00:27:24Or the palace won't get a dime, your highness.
00:27:34Why on earth would you tell them I'm a princess?
00:27:36I'm like the opposite of that.
00:27:37Trust me, I'm aware.
00:27:38But I had to explain the photo.
00:27:41I just started lying and I couldn't stop.
00:27:43I mean, a princess sounds better than a librarian.
00:27:46Of course, because being a good person with a normal job isn't good enough.
00:27:49Nothing is good enough for you people.
00:27:51Look, look, I'm sorry I lied, but what's done is done.
00:27:53And let's make the best of things.
00:27:56Let's move forward to my proposal.
00:27:57What makes you think I would ever go through with your idiotic plan?
00:28:01Because why else are you here?
00:28:04Pure desperation.
00:28:06My favorite trait of all.
00:28:07You'll be my loving, doting girlfriend.
00:28:10Princess Mia.
00:28:12Until my coronation next week.
00:28:14In exchange for cold hard cash.
00:28:16And after that, you'll never ever have to speak with me again.
00:28:18We'll have ourselves a deal.
00:28:22Deal.
00:28:23But no more hooking up or anything like that.
00:28:26This is strictly business now.
00:28:29Trust me, that won't be a problem.
00:28:31I don't really notice.
00:28:47No.
00:28:51It's bigger than, no more.
00:29:00Am I on Iraq now.
00:29:12What are you reading for?
00:29:14For fun?
00:29:15You wouldn't have no fun if it'd beat you in the ass.
00:29:18Says the guy that has to pay a girl to hang out with him.
00:29:21Alright, alright.
00:29:22Enough foreplay.
00:29:24We have a lot of work to do.
00:29:26Your performance last night left much to be desired.
00:29:29I've got a lot of work to turn you into a proper princess.
00:29:32It's not my fault that you lied about who I really am.
00:29:34True.
00:29:35But if you want a dime of that money that I promised you,
00:29:37you'll make it your mission to become Princess Mia.
00:29:41Fine.
00:29:42I'll do it.
00:29:44But was all this really necessary?
00:29:48I had to ensure absolute privacy.
00:29:50If this lie gets out,
00:29:51the Queen will delay my coronation perhaps indefinitely.
00:29:54We're not leaving this room until you're a proper princess.
00:29:57Nah.
00:29:58Let's get you royal.
00:30:00What about the Queen?
00:30:01Isn't she gonna be back soon?
00:30:03She's out shopping.
00:30:05She'll be out all afternoon.
00:30:06Now, let's get to work.
00:30:43We have time!
00:30:57We'll try to book out.
00:31:26Hi, I'm exhausted.
00:31:27I'm going to go stay for that, my God.
00:31:30I insist.
00:31:36What the hell are you doing?
00:31:37You'll have to sleep over, I'm afraid.
00:31:39They'll keep the appearance that we're a real couple.
00:31:42Who cares?
00:31:43The press isn't here.
00:31:44The helper's watching my every move.
00:31:46Oh, my God.
00:31:48What have they seen?
00:31:52How do you live like this?
00:31:54That's all I know.
00:31:55Oh, my God.
00:31:57I would feel sorry for you if you weren't such an asshole.
00:32:00Thanks, baby.
00:32:02So you'll sleep with me?
00:32:03I mean, you'll sleep over?
00:32:07Yes, but I'm not happy about it.
00:32:09I'm going to have a shower.
00:32:12No peeking.
00:32:13In your dreams.
00:32:34You're breathing.
00:32:35In your dreams.
00:32:38Then you're breathing.
00:32:38You're breathing.
00:32:39I'm и уверated.
00:33:58You sure you're okay down there?
00:34:00Oh, you're worried about me.
00:34:02I'm not.
00:34:03I mean, I don't care.
00:34:05I just can't hear you complain all night.
00:34:08I'm fine.
00:34:09Thanks.
00:34:17Just come sleep in the bed.
00:34:19Will you insist?
00:34:32You better not try anything.
00:34:34In your dreams, princess.
00:34:36I can't wait until this arrangement is over.
00:34:39Finally, we agree on something.
00:34:59I need to speak to the prince at once.
00:35:02I'm afraid he's still sleeping.
00:35:04Well then, wake him up, you fool!
00:35:05But, um, I don't think he's alone.
00:35:10I don't think he's alone.
00:35:36Good morning, sir.
00:35:38Sorry to wake you, but the queen has asked to speak with you.
00:35:41Now.
00:35:42Of course, I'll get dressed.
00:35:43No.
00:35:44You.
00:35:49Practice is over.
00:35:50It's time for the real test, princess.
00:35:58Yes.
00:35:59Hello, Henry.
00:36:01Hello, Mia.
00:36:03Your Majesty.
00:36:04You look even more beautiful up close.
00:36:07I wanted us to have a chance to properly get to know each other.
00:36:10It's been quite whirlwind for you.
00:36:12Yes, it's been a crazy past few days.
00:36:15Well, you should be used to all this, what with your upbringing.
00:36:19Of course.
00:36:19I was practically born in a ball gown.
00:36:22Tell me, where does your family summer?
00:36:26Uh, the pool?
00:36:29I mean, uh, all of our Paris, Italy, you name it.
00:36:34We summer there.
00:36:36Tell me more about your family's royal heritage.
00:36:40We come from a small island off the coast of Italy.
00:36:43It's gorgeous.
00:36:44You should totally come visit sometime.
00:36:45My parents made their fortune in emeralds and immigrated here.
00:36:51Diamonds.
00:36:52Excuse me?
00:36:54The prince said that your family made a fortune in diamonds.
00:37:00The prince said that your family made a fortune in diamonds.
00:37:06Right.
00:37:06Diamonds, emeralds, you name it.
00:37:09We made a fortune in it.
00:37:13Would you like some tea?
00:37:15Oh, no thank you.
00:37:17I'm trying to cut back.
00:37:21Being a princess yourself, I'm sure you've given some thought to our monarchy.
00:37:28After all, it might be you sitting up there ruling with the prince someday.
00:37:32You're right.
00:37:34I mean, yeah, right.
00:37:36Not a fan of our monarchy, are you?
00:37:41Honestly?
00:37:43Please.
00:37:45Not really.
00:37:46At least, I'm not a fan of the way the monarchy has been doing things for the past 500 years.
00:37:52I believe the point of the crown is to serve the people.
00:37:55To do good.
00:37:56My dear, the point of the crown is to uphold tradition and to give the people something to aspire to.
00:38:05With all due respect, I think that way of thinking is of the past.
00:38:09I'm more about the future.
00:38:12But if I have anything to say about it...
00:38:17How are my two favorite ladies?
00:38:19Ah, Mia, would you give me a moment to have a word with my son in private?
00:38:25No problem.
00:38:26I have to pee anyway.
00:38:31There is absolutely no way you can be with that girl.
00:38:36There is absolutely no way you can be with that girl.
00:38:39Why not?
00:38:41She is not properly trained.
00:38:43What, is she a horse?
00:38:44I thought you wanted me to have a girlfriend.
00:38:46I do.
00:38:47But a more suitable match.
00:38:49But I...
00:38:50The press love her.
00:38:52There is something off about her.
00:38:54So she is a little different.
00:38:55But the status quo is boring.
00:38:57Not boring.
00:38:59Classic.
00:39:00You need to be with someone who will ensure that our traditions outlive us all.
00:39:05You married into this family.
00:39:07They are not even your traditions.
00:39:08Like hell they are not.
00:39:09If it weren't for me, this palace would be in shambles.
00:39:12I promised your father on his deathbed that I would uphold the crown and make sure to keep you in
00:39:19line.
00:39:20It is of the utmost importance that you make a suitable match.
00:39:24You need to be with someone educated and refined.
00:39:28Someone like Courtney.
00:39:30Mia's special.
00:39:32Like, you just have to get to know the way that I have.
00:39:35I promise, she's mesmerizing.
00:39:37Declan, it's only a matter of time before everyone knows the truth.
00:39:42Mia is not queen material.
00:39:50Mia!
00:39:52Mia!
00:39:58Mia, please, wait!
00:39:59Just leave me alone.
00:40:00I'm sorry.
00:40:02The queen can be harsh, but she means well.
00:40:04I cannot believe you're defending her.
00:40:06I'm truly sorry.
00:40:07It killed me to have a talk about you like that.
00:40:09I wanted to know you.
00:40:10The real you.
00:40:12Because you're amazing.
00:40:13I don't care.
00:40:14I'm just here for the money, remember?
00:40:16This is all fake.
00:40:17Is this all really just a paycheck to you?
00:40:18Yep.
00:40:19You don't mean that.
00:40:20Come on, Mia.
00:40:21Give us a smile.
00:40:22Don't tell me what I mean.
00:40:23Yeah, smile for me, dude.
00:40:25Mia.
00:40:25Mia.
00:40:26I'm really starting to like you.
00:40:28For real.
00:40:29Give me a break.
00:40:31I am just another one of your shiny new toys.
00:40:33You'll be bored of me in no time and back to your drawer full of condom.
00:40:36Mia, Mia, Mia.
00:40:37Will you all ship?
00:40:38Leave me alone.
00:40:39Mia, come on.
00:40:40We just want one phone.
00:40:41Hey.
00:40:42Oh.
00:40:44Not again.
00:40:45Are you okay?
00:40:47I am now.
00:40:49Of course.
00:40:52Cops?
00:40:53If this gets out, I'm finished.
00:40:55We need to get out of here.
00:40:57Someone or no one can find us.
00:40:58It's about off green.
00:40:59I know the perfect place.
00:41:01Come with me.
00:41:01Okay.
00:41:11Well, well, well.
00:41:12There's a sight for sore eyes.
00:41:14Oh, hey, daddy.
00:41:17And who do we have here?
00:41:19This is just a friend.
00:41:21Hello, sir.
00:41:22I'm Dackling.
00:41:23Mia's boyfriend.
00:41:24Oh.
00:41:24Mia?
00:41:25You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend.
00:41:27Uh, yeah.
00:41:28He's my boyfriend.
00:41:31We're super in love.
00:41:33It's nice to meet you, sir.
00:41:35Who are you calling, sir?
00:41:38Call me Charlie.
00:41:40You're welcome, son.
00:41:45Let me know if there's anything I do to help.
00:41:48Dackling, it's okay.
00:41:49Sure, sure.
00:41:50The cows aren't going to milk themselves.
00:41:53We don't have cows.
00:41:55Come on.
00:41:56Let's do it.
00:41:59Let's do it.
00:42:33You guys did a good job at it.
00:42:36This is delicious.
00:42:37Thank you so much, sir.
00:42:39Oh, it's my pleasure.
00:42:41It's been a long time since Mia brought a boy home.
00:42:44A real long time.
00:42:45And a prince at that.
00:42:46Dad.
00:42:47Well, look, I'm just happy that you're happy.
00:42:51And if your mother were here, she would be happy too.
00:42:55So thank you for loving her.
00:42:58You're welcome.
00:43:00Mia's easy to love.
00:43:02It's so nice to have you home.
00:43:05Well, I still have a home.
00:43:07Look, I'm sure Mia already told you we're going to lose the farm.
00:43:12I can't afford the mortgage anymore.
00:43:18Mia never said anything.
00:43:21Uh, enough of the depressing vibes.
00:43:29You're welcome.
00:43:32Come with me.
00:43:34Yeah.
00:43:39Hey, remember, in my house, you're still a virgin.
00:43:49Can't believe you grew up out here.
00:43:58Is this your idea of fun?
00:44:00Playing dress up in your dad's old clothing?
00:44:02Hey, when you're in the country,
00:44:05you'll have to get creative.
00:44:11Have a look.
00:44:18Like the opposite of a prince.
00:44:21Perfect.
00:44:22Well,
00:44:27why didn't you say anything about your dad being hurt?
00:44:32Kind of a heavy story.
00:44:35I could do heavy.
00:44:38Please.
00:44:44When I was really little, I got sick.
00:44:48Pneumonia.
00:44:49And I was
00:44:52in and out of the hospital.
00:44:54Medical bills were really high.
00:44:56My dad was working around the clock
00:44:58trying to make as much money as possible.
00:45:01I was exhausted, barely sleeping,
00:45:04and there was an accident.
00:45:08He was exhausted, barely sleeping,
00:45:10and there was an accident.
00:45:12Fell off of his tractor,
00:45:14and it ran him over.
00:45:17Nearly snapped his spine in half.
00:45:21I mean, it was just really hard for him
00:45:22to do work around the farm.
00:45:24It was really stressful.
00:45:26And my mom,
00:45:28just doing everything.
00:45:32And I think it broke her.
00:45:38One day she went to go get groceries,
00:45:40and
00:45:43never came back.
00:45:45Oh, Mia.
00:45:47I know I was just a kid,
00:45:48and I know it wasn't my fault,
00:45:50but
00:45:53I just think that deep down,
00:45:55I think that everything bad that happens
00:45:56is because of me.
00:45:58I totally get it.
00:46:00You do?
00:46:02Yeah.
00:46:04Yeah.
00:46:04My real mom
00:46:05died when I was little.
00:46:07She was in a car accident
00:46:08on her way to go
00:46:09and watch me at swim practice.
00:46:13I hate swimming to this day.
00:46:16That's awful.
00:46:17I'm so sorry.
00:46:21Thanks.
00:46:24You know,
00:46:24when people say that,
00:46:25I usually feel their pity,
00:46:26but with you,
00:46:27you know,
00:46:30it feels different.
00:46:33knowing we share the same pain,
00:46:34it helps ease it a little.
00:46:37So,
00:46:38thank you.
00:46:50Can I show you something?
00:47:00not bad.
00:47:02Ready to swim again?
00:47:04Make some new memories?
00:47:08I'm not quite ready yet.
00:47:11That's okay.
00:47:13We can just look at it for now.
00:47:15Baby steps.
00:47:17Thanks.
00:47:18Thanks, Sarah.
00:47:19Mmm.
00:47:21Mmm.
00:47:22Mmm.
00:47:22Mmm.
00:47:23Mmm.
00:47:23Mmm.
00:47:23Mmm.
00:47:23Mmm.
00:47:24Mmm.
00:47:27Mmm.
00:47:27Mmm.
00:47:29Mmm.
00:47:34Mmm.
00:47:35Mmm.
00:47:36Mmm.
00:47:42Mmm.
00:47:51so are you excited about your coronation yeah of course
00:47:59you don't sound very excited
00:48:03i'm pretty nervous to be i'm king i mean i'm gonna be leading an entire nation
00:48:08and i've got so many plans of where to take our country but nobody takes me seriously
00:48:14just they think i'm a silly party boy what are your ideas they're dumb forget it
00:48:21what can you be the judge of that okay i'm very passionate about the environment
00:48:30i love finding alternative forms of energy in my country there's some of the most intense ones in
00:48:35the world and they're these wind turbines that are state-of-the-art and they can harness that
00:48:42energy that you can convert for cars planes buildings homes you name it
00:48:50wow that's actually a really good idea really
00:48:55yeah you're really smart why are you such a fuck up
00:49:02well when my father passed away it was just it was a lot
00:49:09it was a bit too much in fact so i just numb out i party
00:49:17yeah really yeah right miss perfect me
00:49:23i didn't even finish college why not
00:49:28let's just talk about something else
00:49:30come on i just poured my heart
00:49:33at least you can do is return the favor
00:49:37fine
00:49:39so i went to a very fancy school
00:49:41i was a scholarship student of course so i felt
00:49:46out of place already insecure
00:49:51but i met this boy
00:49:54and i fell so madly
00:49:59hopelessly in love
00:50:02it was the most amazing feeling in the world
00:50:06it felt like i was flying
00:50:10and then i walked in on him cheating on me with someone else
00:50:17it wasn't it wasn't just someone else it was
00:50:20the prettiest richest most popular girl in school
00:50:28i spiraled
00:50:33i couldn't sleep
00:50:35let alone study and i
00:50:36i ended up dropping out of college
00:50:41i i just think that
00:50:44getting cheated on was
00:50:50confirmation
00:50:51of my deepest fear
00:50:53that i'm not good enough
00:50:55well the mia that i know is more than enough
00:51:00she's likable
00:51:03even lovable
00:51:07she's amazing
00:51:18what about the rules
00:51:22screw the rules
00:51:28the rules
00:51:28lol
00:51:33i
00:51:33i
00:51:33i
00:51:34i
00:51:44i
00:51:52i
00:51:52i
00:51:52i
00:51:52i
00:51:53i
00:51:53i
00:51:53i
00:51:53.
00:52:29I can't believe the prince is dating Mia and he hasn't seen through her lies yet.
00:52:34What do you mean?
00:52:35Well, I know where they are. Obviously they're hiding at Mia's farm.
00:52:40Farm? I thought Mia was a princess.
00:52:45Mia! I can assure you she is the furthest thing from a princess.
00:52:50Tell me everything.
00:53:21Henry, it's not a good time.
00:53:23I'm afraid I have some terrible news.
00:53:26Whatever it is, it's got to wait.
00:53:28It's the queen. She's had a stroke.
00:53:42Who's decided to grace us with his presence?
00:53:45I'm so sorry. I came as soon as I heard.
00:53:47After being M.I.A. for a week or so doing God knows what with that girlfriend of yours.
00:53:53At least stay calm. The doctor said you need to minimize stress.
00:53:57How am I supposed to stay calm when your little girlfriend has made a fool of us all?
00:54:03Turns out everyone's favorite new princess is a total fraud.
00:54:08She's a poor farmer's daughter, certainly the furthest thing from a princess.
00:54:13She works in a library and her sister is a waitress.
00:54:20Mia claims her charmed family made a fortune in the diamond industry, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
00:54:27In fact, she comes from a very broken home.
00:54:30Her father was in a nearly fatal tractor accident when she was young.
00:54:35And her mom took off for groceries one day and never came home.
00:54:39Poor prince got played.
00:54:42Oh my god.
00:54:44The last thing we need is for our name to be associated with a tractor.
00:54:48How did this information get out?
00:54:50Who cares? The point is that Mia is a liar and has made a fool of us all.
00:54:54I only wish that I had found out sooner.
00:54:56Oh no, this is all my fault. I'm the one who lied about Mia being a princess.
00:55:00The details don't matter. Everything has gone to shit since that girl came into your life.
00:55:04I need to find Mia.
00:55:06Forget Mia. We have much more important things to discuss.
00:55:09No, nothing's more important than Mia.
00:55:11Where are you going? Come back here. Don't you dare-
00:55:14If you take another step, I-
00:55:16Should I call a doctor?
00:55:18No, you fool. There's nothing wrong with me.
00:55:23You're going to take Mia down.
00:55:27For good.
00:56:02What are you doing here?
00:56:03I need to talk to you.
00:56:04I am done talking.
00:56:07Just-
00:56:08Go.
00:56:09Just- just please listen to me. I'm sorry about that stupid article.
00:56:14You're sorry.
00:56:15A sorry excuse for a human being.
00:56:18You don't mean that. You're not thinking clearly.
00:56:22Please just go.
00:56:24No, I need you to know the truth.
00:56:27Why? Why is it so important? Why do you care?
00:56:31Because I like you, Mia.
00:56:34I really fucking do.
00:56:37Listen, I feel terrible about that article.
00:56:39I had nothing to do with it, I promise.
00:56:43The press are like vultures.
00:56:44What about all of the personal information?
00:56:46My- my dad's accident? My- my mom leaving?
00:56:50You are the only person I told.
00:56:53What was this? Some plan?
00:56:55To leak my personal trauma to the press to make yourself look better?
00:57:00Is this- what kind of sick game are you playing?
00:57:02Do you really think I'm that cruel?
00:57:04Jesus, Mia, after everything we've been through. How could you think so little of me?
00:57:08It's one thing for them to attack me.
00:57:12They attacked my family.
00:57:14They didn't ask for any of this.
00:57:16Mia, I love your family. I would never betray them.
00:57:19I knew I was right about you. You're no king. You're just a spoiled little prince.
00:57:23I knew this was too good to be true.
00:57:25I don't know why I was so stupid.
00:57:27I can't believe you don't trust me.
00:57:29How can I trust you when our entire relationship is built on a lie?
00:57:32We are so much more than a lie, and you know that.
00:57:35I can't do this anymore.
00:57:37I'm sorry.
00:57:40I'm done.
00:57:42We're done.
00:57:43Mia, forget the agreement.
00:57:45I need you in my life.
00:57:46Declan, stop.
00:57:48This is pathetic.
00:57:50Whatever this is, it's over.
00:57:54You're breaking up with me?
00:57:55We weren't even together, Mia.
00:57:57I'm ending our agreement.
00:57:58Your services are no longer required.
00:58:00We didn't even make it to the coronation.
00:58:03Your payment will be voided.
00:58:05I don't care about the money.
00:58:07That'll be a first.
00:58:08Goodbye forever.
00:58:10Forever can't come soon enough.
00:58:43Declan, I have just the thing to cheer you up.
00:58:50Good morning, Your Royal Highness.
00:58:53Hi, Courtney.
00:58:55Declan, help your lovely date to her seat.
00:59:05Colopress.
00:59:06The hottest new couple in town is going to make their debut tonight.
00:59:10I smell a press release.
00:59:25What a beautiful day.
00:59:27You gotta love this city.
00:59:32Okay, what's going on?
00:59:34You hate New York City.
00:59:35I can never get you to come visit me.
00:59:38I just want to tell you the good news in person.
00:59:41What news?
00:59:42We're not going to lose the farm.
00:59:45My God.
00:59:46That's amazing.
00:59:47What happened?
00:59:49Your prints happened.
00:59:51What?
00:59:51Huh?
00:59:52Yeah.
00:59:52When you guys came to visit me and he heard about our troubles, he immediately gave me the money.
00:59:58Enough to cover the mortgage and more.
01:00:02He didn't want me to tell you because he didn't want it to seem like we were some kind of
01:00:06charity case.
01:00:08But I can't keep a secret.
01:00:11He's a good man you got there.
01:00:15The nicest thing anybody's ever done for me.
01:00:19Hm.
01:00:21Well, honey, that's love.
01:00:24Oh, no.
01:00:27You messed everything up.
01:00:28It's too late.
01:00:29It's never too late for true love.
01:00:33Oh, my God.
01:00:36I gotta go.
01:00:38Where are you going?
01:00:39To kiss the prince.
01:00:42Thanks, Daddy.
01:01:06I'm too.
01:01:10Hello again, Mia.
01:01:14Oh, my God.
01:01:16I'm so stupid.
01:01:17Mia, wait.
01:01:18Stop.
01:01:21I promise you nothing was happening.
01:01:24The Queen's forced me to be with her and I've never been more miserable.
01:01:28I can't believe this is happening again.
01:01:30Again?
01:01:32Courtney is the girl that my boyfriend cheated on me with in college.
01:01:36She destroyed my life.
01:01:39It wasn't just someone else.
01:01:40It was the prettiest, richest, most popular girl in school.
01:01:47Oh.
01:01:48I'm...
01:01:49I won't let this happen.
01:01:50No.
01:01:50No, Mia.
01:01:51She means nothing to me.
01:01:52You broke my heart, Your Majesty.
01:02:06What?
01:02:11Mia, wait.
01:02:15It's not what it seems to me.
01:02:30are you okay me you're the one that just got attacked by the paps i had to get your attention
01:02:37somehow mission accomplished i'm sorry about courtney it all makes sense courtney is the
01:02:45one that leaked my family's secrets to the press i'm sorry i didn't believe you all i ever wanted
01:02:50me to be happy why do you care so much because i love you mia
01:03:16i love you too i'm feeling better already
01:03:23what about our agreement forget about the agreement do with me for real
01:03:32okay let's be together for real
01:03:34all right
01:04:08just spoke with the doctor you got your test results back and you're going to be just fine
01:04:15great now can you please go take a break you haven't slept a wink or eaten a thing since
01:04:20we got back from the hospital no i'm never leaving your side again
01:04:24oh mia please take care of yourself at least go to the bathroom
01:04:34i promise i'll be here when you get back
01:04:38fine
01:04:41i'll be right back
01:04:43love you
01:04:45i like the sound of that
01:04:56what the hell is she doing here i thought we got rid of her for good
01:05:00apparently not your plan backfired and now they're more in love than ever before
01:05:06what are we going to do
01:05:09i have a plan going to send mia on a permanent vacation from which she will never ever return
01:05:16and i'm going to need your help
01:05:39what are you doing here courtney
01:05:42i have something that might be of interest to you
01:05:44nothing you have to say is interesting to me
01:05:53i have a plan going to send mia on a permanent vacation from which she will never ever return
01:06:00you deserve to know the truth about the queen
01:06:02mia she wants to destroy you
01:06:06now you have proof
01:06:10thank you
01:06:13but i'm confused
01:06:14why are you helping me
01:06:17we hate each other remember
01:06:19this is so much bigger than all the past drama
01:06:23as much as i want to be with the prince i can see how much he truly loves you
01:06:27i don't want to be in the way of true love
01:06:30you're the real princess mia
01:06:35i guess i am right i and for what it's worth
01:06:39i'm really sorry for everything that happened in college
01:06:45to be honest i was always a little jealous of you back in the day
01:06:49you're always so different and interesting
01:06:54i wish we could have been friends
01:06:57well
01:07:00if you want to be friends then just maybe stop hooking up with my boyfriends and
01:07:05let's make a coffee
01:07:06deal
01:07:19come here
01:07:19thank you
01:07:22i'm gonna take on the queen
01:07:23i'm gonna need it
01:07:49i'm gonna need it
01:07:51oh
01:07:53Are you comfortable, my darling? Would you like another pillow?
01:07:58Where did Mia go? She said she was just going to the bathroom.
01:08:02I'm sorry, but she left hours ago.
01:08:06Did she say where she's going or when she's coming back?
01:08:11She told me to tell you that she just doesn't want to be with you anymore. It's over. I'm sorry,
01:08:20son.
01:08:21I don't understand. She just told me she loved me.
01:08:25You just can't trust a girl like that.
01:08:28She dumped you days before the most important moment of your life, your coronation.
01:08:33Now you don't even have a date.
01:08:36But not to worry, I have just the girl for you.
01:08:40I'll alert the press tomorrow that you are no longer with Mia and will be taking Courtney to the coronation.
01:09:08You and the prince can no longer be together.
01:09:16What? Screw you, whoever you are. I love him and nothing can stop me.
01:09:21You better stay away from him or else.
01:09:28Henry?
01:09:37Henry, you have to let me go.
01:09:40Please, I'm begging you.
01:09:42I'm sorry. I wish I could, ma'am.
01:09:45But I have direct orders from the queen to hold you hostage until you agree to never see the prince
01:09:49again.
01:09:51I can't believe she made you kidnap me yourself.
01:09:56She couldn't, like, hire out for that?
01:09:58She's trying to keep costs down lately.
01:10:00It's not a money thing. She doesn't respect you, Henry.
01:10:04She doesn't need to. I'm just the help.
01:10:06You're her secret weapon. You keep this whole ship running. You're incredible, Henry.
01:10:10Henry?
01:10:12I am?
01:10:13It's time for the queen's reign to end. I'm gonna take her down. Please, help me.
01:10:21I'm sorry. I can't betray her. She's family.
01:10:27But how is that possible?
01:10:31The queen is my aunt. She hired me when she married the king and became a royal.
01:10:37But the queen grew up very poor in the countryside. Her parents were farmers. Just like you, in fact.
01:10:45So the queen hates me because she is me?
01:10:49It's all quite poetic.
01:10:57You have to do the right thing, Henry. You won't regret it. I promise.
01:11:09Declan, are you excited for your coronation?
01:11:11Very much so, yes.
01:11:13What have you enjoyed most about your time in America?
01:11:17Countryside. Farm life. Steel lake. Full moon.
01:11:23The prince will take one more question.
01:11:27Who's the lucky lady you're gonna be taking to your coronation?
01:11:30Mia?
01:11:33Where have you been?
01:11:39It's a long story. It involved getting kidnapped by your stepmom.
01:11:45What?
01:11:46She's behind everything, Declan. I can prove it.
01:11:50Don't listen to her. She's crazy.
01:11:52You don't have to listen to me. Listen to yourself.
01:11:56I have a plan.
01:11:57Going to send Mia on a permanent vacation from which she will never, ever return.
01:12:03Declan, I only want what's best for you.
01:12:05No, you only want what's best for yourself.
01:12:09Your evil antics won't work anymore.
01:12:11You're done. You're banished.
01:12:13You can't do that.
01:12:16Like hell I can't.
01:12:17I'm gonna be assuming my rightful place is king tomorrow during the coronation, just as my father intended.
01:12:22What will I do? Without my kind, I'll come nothing.
01:12:26I finally understand why you hate me so much.
01:12:30You grow up poor just like me.
01:12:33You're so afraid to lose your power, but power comes from within.
01:12:37It's about loving someone and letting someone love you.
01:12:42True power, it can't be bought. It's priceless.
01:12:48There's a new queen in town.
01:12:58Well, congrats to the happy couple.
01:13:01Courtney, I hope that your father was still considering granting the palace alone.
01:13:05Sorry, my father doesn't do charity.
01:13:07Courtney, wait.
01:13:09Declan has some amazing ideas for his reign as king.
01:13:13I do. I do.
01:13:16I would love to share them with you and your father.
01:13:20I really should be going. Two minutes.
01:13:24Just two minutes.
01:13:26I'll give you one.
01:13:31Well, I'm very passionate about the environment.
01:13:33I believe that environmental activism is actually quite profitable.
01:13:37I want to invest in alternative energies.
01:13:40For example, I recently discovered this new state-of-the-art wind turbine that is more efficient than most fossil
01:13:45fuels.
01:13:47My first order of business will be to erect these turbines all over the country.
01:13:52We'll do good for our planet and also make a boatload of money doing it.
01:13:55Now, that is something we would definitely be interested in investing in.
01:14:11Henry, you idiot! Bring my car around!
01:14:13I'm afraid I must attend to my new boss, the king.
01:14:18What am I supposed to do?
01:14:20Have you tried the subway?
01:14:28Everyone has come out to celebrate our new king, Sir Declan. Long live the king. The king is in great
01:14:35spirits. All thanks to the lovely lady on his arm, Mia.
01:14:40You look perfect.
01:14:43Well, it's not my reindeer costume, but it'll do.
01:14:50Oh my god.
01:14:51Mia, will you do me and the entire kingdom the honor of being our queen?
01:14:57Yes! Yes! Of course!
01:14:59Yes!
01:15:02Oh!
01:15:05Oh!
01:15:10Oh!
01:15:13Oh, my God.
01:15:25Kurt and I fell in love when we were 17.
01:15:28We're sneaking off to a cabin this weekend to celebrate our anniversary.
01:15:32Chloe.
01:15:32Have you guys seen Kurt?
01:15:34Kurt, baby?
01:15:35Kurt, baby?
01:15:37I can't believe this.
01:15:39I didn't know you were going to be here tonight.
01:15:41Happy anniversary.
01:15:43You've been to the cabin for the weekend, so we're here to bring you up there.
01:15:47You know, guys, there's one thing you didn't think about when you kidnapped me.
01:15:50There's only one bed in this cabin.
01:15:52This is an all-out war for Chloe's heart.
01:15:55Game on.
01:15:55You really think about me like that?
01:15:57Chloe, you are all I think about.
01:15:59What's one of the ways you guys are planning to spoil me this weekend?
01:16:02Me would do anything for you.
01:16:05Me?
01:16:06And I swear to you, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you laugh like that.
01:16:10But I want you to choose me.
01:16:12Chloe, if you're choosing him over me, I need to know right now, okay?
01:16:15I can't stand it.
01:16:16Jack, you need to relax.
01:16:17Relax?
01:16:18The woman I love is slipping through my fingers!
01:16:20You think you're the only one that loves her?
01:16:22You love me?
01:16:23Looks like we're going to be here a little longer than two nights if it keeps coming down like...
01:16:29What was that?
01:16:30Storm knocked a little power out.
01:16:32He too.
01:16:32You are worth fighting for.
01:16:35Even if it means fighting with my best friend in the whole world.
01:16:38This weekend has meant everything to me.
01:16:41Let's make a deal then, baby girl.
01:16:42For one more night.
01:16:44You don't have to choose.
01:16:47Will you be here in the morning?
01:16:50Just as the sun is rising.
01:16:53How many people can say they're half of the perfect couple?
01:16:56Feels so good when you're next to me.
01:16:59Kurt and I fell in love when we were 17.
01:17:02He was the captain of the soccer team, and I never thought he would notice me, but...
01:17:08Will you be my everything?
01:17:11Suddenly, we're soulmates.
01:17:14Love you more than a four-letter one.
01:17:16We came to college together, where he met Jack on the soccer team and Emmett in business classes.
01:17:23But even with these two in his life, he always made time to surprise me.
01:17:27And I got two new guy friends in my life as a bonus.
01:17:31Overprotective, sure, but always looking out for my best interests.
01:17:37It's been five years since our first kiss.
01:17:39We're sneaking off to a cabin this weekend to celebrate our anniversary.
01:17:44And I'm pretty sure this is it.
01:17:47He's going to propose we get married after graduation.
01:17:51Cause you are my everything.
01:18:01Drink self, thyself.
01:18:04I like the slob talk, but it's over now.
01:18:07Light it up, give me some.
01:18:09I like the way you tease me with your soft lips.
01:18:14White case, you're the one I can't resist.
01:18:17Chloe, she's the woman I wanted to see.
01:18:20Chloe.
01:18:21Hey, beautiful.
01:18:22Hey.
01:18:22Let me go get you a drink.
01:18:24You shouldn't have to push your way through a crowd.
01:18:27Oh, watch where the fuck you're going, buddy.
01:18:29I almost ran right into her.
01:18:30It's fewer animals, huh?
01:18:32Okay, you look stunning.
01:18:34Oh, thank you.
01:18:39So, have you guys seen Kurt?
01:18:41I haven't, no, but didn't know you were going to make an appearance.
01:18:44Yeah, I thought you had that huge midterm you had to finish for British Lit.
01:18:47Yeah, I actually finished it early.
01:18:50Plus, Kurt surprised me with a bottle of champagne and cookies at my doorstep.
01:18:54I thought maybe it was my turn to surprise him back.
01:18:58Well, we even see him in a hot minute, but knowing Kurt, he's probably hiding in some dark
01:19:02corner somewhere.
01:19:04Okay.
01:19:05I'll do a lap.
01:19:06Thanks, kids.
01:19:11Kurt, baby?
01:19:14Kurt, baby?
01:19:26You always did like surprises.
01:19:29Chloe.
01:19:31I can't believe this.
01:19:33I have to go.
01:19:35Chloe, wait.
01:19:36Shit.
01:19:38Hey, Chloe, stop.
01:19:39Chloe, wait.
01:19:41Hey, Chloe.
01:19:43Chloe.
01:19:44I didn't know you were going to do it, but I didn't know you were going to do it.
01:19:45I didn't know you were going to be here tonight.
01:19:47Oh, so that makes it okay?
01:19:48Well, you don't need to be such a fucking bitch about it.
01:19:51I'm the bitch?
01:19:52After catching you ready to fuck some other girl?
01:19:55What, is this some sort of fucking shock to you?
01:19:57I didn't want you to follow me to college like some dumb dog I can't get rid of, okay?
01:20:02I never asked for any of this in the first place.
01:20:03You can't fucking talk to her like that.
01:20:05Fuck off.
01:20:06Happy anniversary.
01:20:10Whoa.
01:20:11Sweetheart, hey, what's wrong?
01:20:12What's going on?
01:20:13It's Kurt.
01:20:15I have to go.
01:20:17Chloe.
01:20:21How can you fucking cheat on Chloe like that, huh?
01:20:23What the fuck are you doing?
01:20:24Get off of me.
01:20:25Kurt.
01:20:26You cheat on Chloe?
01:20:27You son of a bitch.
01:20:29Oh.
01:20:33Take my heart.
01:20:36Chloe, you've got visitors.
01:20:38Good news.
01:20:38It's not Kurt.
01:20:39Knock, knock.
01:20:41Hey, beautiful.
01:20:43Jack?
01:20:45Emmett?
01:20:46What are you-
01:20:47We decided what you mean most right now is to be kidnapped.
01:20:51You know you rented the cabin for the weekend, so we're here to bring you up there.
01:20:55You deserve to get your vacation.
01:20:57But you guys are his best friends.
01:20:59You really think we want to still be friends with him after what he did to you?
01:21:02Not a chance, sweetheart.
01:21:04We hate seeing you like this.
01:21:05It's breaking our hearts.
01:21:07I don't know, guys.
01:21:08That's very sweet of you, but I'm just not really in a vacation then.
01:21:12Oh, come on, Chloe.
01:21:13We'll go on some hikes.
01:21:14We'll play some games.
01:21:16We'll cook.
01:21:16We'll get drunk.
01:21:18And most importantly, we'll get your mind off this shit show.
01:21:23You guys, I thought I was going to marry him.
01:21:27I just had my heart shattered.
01:21:31Well, let me help you mend it.
01:21:33And when Emmett inevitably doesn't, I will be there to actually put you back together.
01:21:39The point is, we're not taking no for an answer.
01:21:43Yeah.
01:21:44We will bring you out to the car, holding you if we have to.
01:21:47Come on, you're coming with us.
01:21:49The only choice you have in the matter is what clothes you get to bring.
01:21:53Personally, I think you look great in red.
01:21:55I'm just an idiot.
01:21:56I know you look amazing in everything.
01:21:58So, what do you say?
01:22:00Want to splash some water in your face and have the best weekend of your life with me?
01:22:04I guess Jack will be there, too.
01:22:06Ha ha.
01:22:07Very funny.
01:22:08So, are we carrying you out of here?
01:22:10Or are you going to walk out of here yourself, baby girl?
01:22:16Whenever I'm in love, yeah, I'm all in it.
01:22:18I haven't felt this way in a half minute.
01:22:22Everyone before you is now with it.
01:22:24I like the way you move, yeah, you feel different.
01:22:26I just want to tell you what's on my mind.
01:22:29The other ones are for you and I'm surprised.
01:22:31Here we go.
01:22:33Setting you down now, beautiful?
01:22:35I said I could walk.
01:22:36I said I would take every opportunity to have you in my arms.
01:22:40Hey, this place is nice.
01:22:43I thought Kurt was going to propose to me here.
01:22:46I figured we'd have the pictures for the rest of our lives.
01:22:51Sorry.
01:22:52Sorry, I'm sorry.
01:22:53Hey, it's okay, sweetheart.
01:22:55Lauren, you had a really shitty week.
01:22:58I think I might have something that will help with that.
01:23:01How about we pop this bad boy open and cheers to a lovely weekend?
01:23:06I do love champagne.
01:23:08I know you do.
01:23:09Really?
01:23:09Did I tell you that?
01:23:11I think just once, but I remembered.
01:23:15Besides, I gotta be honest, I snagged this one from your own kitchen.
01:23:18Well, how did you know she even had it?
01:23:23Well, because I'm actually the one that left it for you.
01:23:28I knew that you were finishing up your midterms.
01:23:31I didn't want to surprise you.
01:23:32It was me.
01:23:34It wasn't Kurt.
01:23:34Kurt, if we're being honest here, those peanut butter cookies were for me.
01:23:41I made them for you one time, and you said that they were the best cookies you've ever had.
01:23:46You guys did that for me?
01:23:48Why?
01:23:49Well, I mean, I can't speak for Jack, but I knew that Kurt would forget how much that paper meant
01:23:54to you.
01:23:54And I know you love surprises, and didn't want Chloe to be disappointed.
01:23:59Making cookies is a little more time-consuming than buying champagne.
01:24:03Okay, shut up.
01:24:04I mean, we both had the same thought, but if you want to tell us which one of the presents
01:24:08was better, be open to that too, baby girl.
01:24:12I can't pick.
01:24:14They were both so thoughtful.
01:24:16I can't believe you guys would do something like that for me.
01:24:19My own boyfriend didn't even remember.
01:24:21Well, hey, he's not your boyfriend anymore.
01:24:23Yeah.
01:24:24We are both aware that you are very, very single.
01:24:29You know, guys, there's one thing you didn't think about when you kidnapped me.
01:24:33Trust us.
01:24:34We thought of everything.
01:24:35If you had thought of everything, then you would have thought about the fact that there's only one bed in
01:24:40this cabin.
01:24:40When I was planning a romantic getaway for Kurt, I didn't plan for guest star appearances.
01:24:45Oh, believe me.
01:24:46I thought about that.
01:24:47Oh, did you?
01:24:48Mm-hmm.
01:24:49I thought about you and me sharing that bed.
01:24:52Oh, that couch is more Jacksonville.
01:24:54Besides, to me, bro.
01:24:55Chloe and I should be sleeping together.
01:24:57How about I just sleep on the couch?
01:24:59Absolutely not.
01:25:00No, this weekend is about spoiling you.
01:25:03That doesn't kick off with you having to sleep on a lumpy-ass couch.
01:25:05All right, then.
01:25:06It's settled.
01:25:07You and I will snuggle up in that bed.
01:25:08What the hell you are?
01:25:10You don't get to just call dibs like that.
01:25:12How about a compromise?
01:25:14How in the world are we supposed to share the sexiest woman in the cabin?
01:25:17I'm the only woman in this cabin.
01:25:20Let's just settle on taking turns.
01:25:22That way, each of you only get one night on the couch.
01:25:24The couch isn't what I'm worried about.
01:25:26It's this guy making a lump on you.
01:25:28It's what I'm worried about.
01:25:28Come on, bro.
01:25:29Like, you're not going to be slobbering all over her?
01:25:31Guys, guys, guys.
01:25:33One night keeps it fair and cuddly for everyone.
01:25:37Only problem, though, is who gets the first day.
01:25:42I think I have a way we can compute for that.
01:25:49Yeah.
01:25:50Okay.
01:25:52Rules of the game are we all ask each other questions.
01:25:55If you don't want to answer a question, take a drink.
01:26:00If you drink, you lose the game.
01:26:03Okay, game on, bro.
01:26:05All right, Emmett, what is the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to you?
01:26:11Oh, I, uh, I split my pants right down the ass in the middle of a PowerPoint presentation.
01:26:19Oh, my God.
01:26:19You'll have to do better than that.
01:26:21Gashi and Kurt are cheating on me.
01:26:24God, that's a really depressing answer.
01:26:26Okay, it's my turn.
01:26:28I need to pick me up after reliving that in my head.
01:26:31Um, what's one of the ways you guys are planning to spoil me this weekend?
01:26:36Well, I will be giving you the best massage of your entire life.
01:26:39And I will run you the best bubble bath you've ever had.
01:26:43Not to mention, I'll be cooking for you.
01:26:46I don't think I didn't see the little hot tub out back.
01:26:48We will be spending lots of time in there.
01:26:53Damn, I guess I lost.
01:26:56Don't worry, sweetheart.
01:26:57The real winner is the guy that gets to end up in bed with you first,
01:27:01which is gonna be me.
01:27:03Shut up and ask your question.
01:27:05All right.
01:27:06Jack, would you be willing to share your internet search history with us?
01:27:17Fuck you.
01:27:19I win.
01:27:19Asking a man to share his browser history is blatant cheating.
01:27:23Sorry, Jack.
01:27:24I'm with Emmett on this one.
01:27:25Emmett gets the first night.
01:27:26Yeah.
01:27:28Fine.
01:27:28Then I guess I will just get to spoil Chloe first then.
01:27:31Come on over, Chloe.
01:27:33Oh, let's kick this weekend off with a little massage.
01:27:40This isn't over.
01:27:42It can't.
01:27:45That's a really once a back rub I've ever had.
01:27:48You like that?
01:27:50Until you try my spicy veggie chili.
01:27:52Oh, chili's my favorite.
01:27:54Oh, I know.
01:27:55Are you going to come and help me with this?
01:27:56Absolutely.
01:27:58Anything to get dinner on the table faster.
01:28:02Hold on.
01:28:03You've got to be in a uniform to be in my kitchen.
01:28:11You can?
01:28:12Mm-hmm.
01:28:17Stop it.
01:28:18You're distracting me from cutting.
01:28:20Maybe.
01:28:21I can't help myself.
01:28:24I need some music.
01:28:28All right.
01:28:29See?
01:28:29I need some music.
01:28:29I need some music.
01:28:29I need some music.
01:28:30I need some music.
01:28:30I need some music.
01:28:30You
Comments